Текст книги "William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition"

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3.1 Enter Antipholus of Ephesus, his man Dromio, Angelo the goldsmith, and Balthasar the merchant

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Good Signor Angelo, you must excuse us all.

My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours.

Say that I lingered with you at your shop

To see the making of her carcanet,

And that tomorrow you will bring it home.—

But here’s a villain that would face me down

He met me on the mart, and that I beat him,

And charged him with a thousand marks in gold,

And that I did deny my wife and house.

Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know—II

That you beat me at the mart I have your hand to

show.

If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave

were ink,

Your own handwriting would tell you what I think.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

I think thou art an ass.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS Marry, so it doth appear

By the wrongs I suffer and the blows I bear.

I should kick being kicked, and, being at that pass,

You would keep from my heels, and beware of an ass.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

You’re sad, Signor Balthasar. Pray God our cheer

May answer my good will, and your good welcome

here.

BALTHASAR

I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your welcome dear.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

O, Signor Balthasar, either at flesh or fish

A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish.

BALTHASAR

Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl affords.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

And welcome more common, for that’s nothing but words.

BALTHASAR

Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Ay, to a niggardly host and more sparing guest.

But though my cates be mean, take them in good part.

Better cheer may you have, but not with better heart.

But soft, my door is locked. (To Dromio) Go bid them let us in.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS (calling)

Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, Ginn!

⌈⌈Enter Dromio of Syracuse within the Phoenix⌉

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE (within the Phoenix)

Mome, malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch!

Either get thee from the door or sit down at the hatch.

Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call’st for such store

When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the door.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

What patch is made our porter? My master stays in the street.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE (within)

Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold on’s feet.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Who talks within there ? Ho, open the door!

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE (within the Phoenix)

Right, sir, I’ll tell you when, an you’ll tell me wherefore.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Wherefore? For my dinner—I have not dined today.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE (within the Phoenix)

Nor today here you must not. Come again when you may.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

What art thou that keep’st me out from the house I owe?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE (within the Phoenix)

The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

O villain, thou hast stol’n both mine office and my name.

The one ne’er got me credit, the other mickle blame.

If thou hadst been Dromio today in my place,

Thou wouldst have changed thy pate for an aim, or

thy name for an ass.

Enter Nell within the Phoenix

NELL (within the Phoenix)

What a coil is there, Dromio? Who are those at the gate?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

Let my master in, Nell.

NELL (within the Phoenix) Faith no, he comes too late;

And so tell your master.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS O Lord, I must laugh.

Have at you with a proverb: ‘Shall I set in my staff?’

NELL (within the Phoenix)

Have at you with another—that’s ‘When ? Can you tell?’

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE (within the Phoenix)

If thy name be called Nell, Nell, thou hast answered him well. ⌈ ⌉

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS (to Nell)

Do you hear, you minion ? You’ll let us in, I hope ?

NELL (within the Phoenix)

I thought to have asked you.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE (within) And you said no.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

So, come help.

⌈He and Antipholus beat the door⌉

Well struck! There was blow for blow.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS (to Nell)

Thou baggage, let me in.

NELL (within the Phoenix) Can you tell for whose sake?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

Master, knock the door hard.

NELL (within the Phoenix)

Let him knock till it ache.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

You’ll cry for this, minion, if I beat the door down.

NELL (within the Phoenix)

What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in the town?

Enter Adriana within the Phoenix

ADRIANA (within the Phoenix)

Who is that at the door that keeps all this noise?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE (within the Phoenix)

By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly boys.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS (to Adriana)

Are you there, wife ? You might have come before.

ADRIANA (within the Phoenix)

Your wife, sir knave? Go, get you from the door.

Exit with Nell

DROMIO OF EPHESUS (to Antipholus)

If you went in pain, master, this knave would go sore.

ANGELO (to Antipholus)

Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome; we would fain have either.

BALTHASAR

In debating which was best, we shall part with neither.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS (to Antipholus)

They stand at the door, master. Bid them welcome hither.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

There is something in the wind, that we cannot get in.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

You would say so, master, if your garments were thin.

Your cake here is warm within: you stand here in the cold.

It would make a man mad as a buck to be so bought and sold.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Go fetch me something. I’ll break ope the gate.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE (within the Phoenix)

Break any breaking here, and I’ll break your knave’s pate.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

A man may break a word with you, sir, and words are but wind;

Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE (within the Phoenix)

It seems thou want’st breaking. Out upon thee, hind!

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

Here’s too much ‘Out upon thee!’ I pray thee, let me in.

DROMIO or SYRACUSE (within the Phoenix)

Ay, when fowls have no feathers, and fish have no fin.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Well, I’ll break in.—Go borrow me a crow.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

A crow without feather? Master, mean you so?

For a fish without a fin, there’s a fowl without a feather.

(To Dromio of Syracuse)

If a crow help us in, sirrah, we’ll pluck a crow together.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Go, get thee gone. Fetch me an iron crow.

BALTHASAR

Have patience, sir. O, let it not be so!

Herein you war against your reputation,

And draw within the compass of suspect

Th’unviolated honour of your wife.

Once this: your long experience of her wisdom,

Her sober virtue, years, and modesty,

Plead on her part some cause to you unknown;

And doubt not, sir, but she will well excuse

Why at this time the doors are made against you.

Be ruled by me. Depart in patience,

And let us to the Tiger all to dinner,

And about evening come yourself alone

To know the reason of this strange restraint.

If by strong hand you offer to break in

Now in the stirring passage of the day,

A vulgar comment will be made of it,

And that supposed by the common rout

Against your yet ungallèd estimation,

That may with foul intrusion enter in

And dwell upon your grave when you are dead.

For slander lives upon succession,

For ever housed where once it gets possession.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

You have prevailed. I will depart in quiet,

And in despite of mirth mean to be merry.

I know a wench of excellent discourse,

Pretty and witty; wild, and yet, too, gentle.

There will we dine. This woman that I mean,

My wife—but, I protest, without desert—

Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal.

To her will we to dinner. (To Angelo) Get you home

And fetch the chain. By this, I know, ’tis made.

Bring it, I pray you, to the Porcupine,

For there’s the house. That chain will I bestow—

Be it for nothing but to spite my wife—

Upon mine hostess there. Good sir, make haste:

Since mine own doors refuse to entertain me,

I’ll knock elsewhere, to see if they’ll disdain me.

ANGELO

I’ll meet you at that place some hour hence.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Do so.

⌈Exit Angelo⌉

This jest shall cost me some expense.

Exeunt ⌈Dromio of Syracuse within the Phoenix, and the others into the Porcupine⌉

3.2 Enter ⌈from the Phoenix⌉ Luciana with Antipholus of Syracuse

LUCIANA

And may it be that you have quite forgot

A husband’s office? Shall, Antipholus,

Even in the spring of love thy love-springs rot?

Shall love, in building, grow so ruinous?

If you did wed my sister for her wealth,

Then for her wealth’s sake use her with more

kindness;

Or if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth:

Muffle your false love with some show of blindness.

Let not my sister read it in your eye.

Be not thy tongue thy own shame’s orator.

Look sweet, speak fair, become disloyalty;

Apparel vice like virtue’s harbinger.

Bear a fair presence, though your heart be tainted:

Teach sin the carriage of a holy saint.

Be secret-false. What need she be acquainted?

What simple thief brags of his own attaint?

‘Tis double wrong to truant with your bed,

And let her read it in thy looks at board.

Shame hath a bastard fame, well managed;

III deeds is doubled with an evil word.

Alas, poor women, make us but believe—

Being compact of credit—that you love us.

Though others have the arm, show us the sleeve.

We in your motion turn, and you may move us.

Then, gentle brother, get you in again.

Comfort my sister, cheer her, call her wife:

’Tis holy sport to be a little vain

When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Sweet mistress—what your name is else I know not,

Nor by what wonder you do hit of mine.

Less in your knowledge and your grace you show not

Than our earth’s wonder, more than earth divine.

Teach me, dear creature, how to think and speak.

Lay open to my earthy gross conceit,

Smothered in errors, feeble, shallow, weak,

The folded meaning of your words’ deceit.

Against my soul’s pure truth why labour you

To make it wander in an unknown field?

Are you a god? Would you create me new?

Transform me, then, and to your power I’ll yield.

But if that I am I, then well I know

Your weeping sister is no wife of mine,

Nor to her bed no homage do I owe.

Far more, far more, to you do I decline.

O, train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy note

To drown me in thy sister’s flood of tears.

Sing, siren, for thyself, and I will dote.

Spread o’er the silver waves thy golden hairs,

And as a bed I’ll take them, and there lie,

And in that glorious supposition think

He gains by death that hath such means to die.

Let love, being light, be drowned if she sink.

LUCIANA

What, are you mad, that you do reason so?

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Not mad, but mated—how, I do not know.

LUCIANA

It is a fault that springeth from your eye.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

For gazing on your beams, fair sun, being by.

LUCIANA

Gaze where you should, and that will clear your sight.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

As good to wink, sweet love, as look on night.

LUCIANA

Why call you me ‘love’ ? Call my sister so.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Thy sister’s sister.

LUCIANA That’s my sister.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

No,

It is thyself, mine own self’s better part,

Mine eye’s clear eye, my dear heart’s dearer heart,

My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope’s aim,

My sole earth’s heaven, and my heaven’s claim.

LUCIANA

All this my sister is, or else should be.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Call thyself sister, sweet, for I am thee.

Thee will I love, and with thee lead my life.

Thou hast no husband yet, nor I no wife.

Give me thy hand.

LUCIANA

O soft, sir, hold you still;

I’ll fetch my sister to get her good will.

Exit ⌈into the Phoenix⌉

Enter ⌈from the Phoenix⌉ Dromio of Syracuse

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Why, how now, Dromiol Where runn’st thou so fast?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Do you know me, sir? Am I Dromio? Am I your man? Am I myself?

ANTIPHOLUS or SYRACUSE Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I am an ass, I am a woman’s man, and besides myself.

ANTIPHOLUS or SYRACUSE What woman’s man? And how besides thyself?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, besides myself I am due to a woman: one that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me.

ANTIPHOLUS or SYRACUSE What claim lays she to thee?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, such claim as you would lay to your horse; and she would have me as a beast—not that, I being a beast, she would have me, but that she, being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What is she?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE A very reverend body; ay, such a one as a man may not speak of without he say ‘sir-reverence’. I have but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE How dost thou mean, a fat marriage? 95 5

DROMIO or SYRACUSE Marry, sir, she’s the kitchen wench, and all grease; and I know not what use to put her to but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. I warrant her rags and the tallow in them will burn a Poland winter. If she lives till doomsday, she’ll burn a week longer than the whole world.

ANTIPHOLUS or SYRACUSE What complexion is she of?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Swart like my shoe, but her face nothing like so clean kept. For why?—She sweats a man may go overshoes in the grime of it.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE That’s a fault that water will mend.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No, sir, ’tis in grain. Noah’s flood could not do it.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What’s her name?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Nell, sir. But her name and three-quarters—that’s an ell and three-quarters—will not measure her from hip to hip.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Then she bears some breadth?

DROMIO or SYRACUSE No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip. She is spherical, like a globe. I could find out countries in her.

ANTIPHOLUS or SYRACUSE In what part of her body stands Ireland?

DROMIO or SYRACUSE Marry, sir, in her buttocks. I found it out by the bogs.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where Scotland?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I found it by the barrenness, hard in the palm of her hand.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where France?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE In her forehead, armed and reverted, making war against her heir.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where England?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I looked for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no whiteness in them. But I guess it stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran between France and it.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where Spain?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Faith, I saw it not, but I felt it hot in her breath.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where America, the Indies?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE O, sir, upon her nose, all o’er embellished with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain, who sent whole armadas of carracks to be ballast at her nose.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE O, sir, I did not look so low. To conclude, this drudge or diviner laid claim to me, called me Dromio, swore I was assured to her, told me what privy marks I had about me—as the mark of my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left arm—that I, amazed, ran from her as a witch. And I think if my breast had not been made of faith, and my heart of steel, she had transformed me to a curtal dog, and made me turn i’th’ wheel.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Go, hie thee presently. Post to the road.

An if the wind blow any way from shore,

I will not harbour in this town tonight.

If any barque put forth, come to the mart,

Where I will walk till thou return to me.

If everyone knows us, and we know none,

’Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack, and be gone.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

As from a bear a man would run for life,

So fly I from her that would be my wife.

Exit ⌈to the bay⌉

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

There’s none but witches do inhabit here,

And therefore ’tis high time that I were hence.

She that doth call me husband, even my soul

Doth for a wife abhor. But her fair sister,

Possessed with such a gentle sovereign grace,

Of such enchanting presence and discourse,

Hath almost made me traitor to myself.

But lest myself be guilty to self-wrong,

I’ll stop mine ears against the mermaid’s song.

Enter Angelo with the chain

ANGELO

Master Antipholus.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Ay, that’s my name.

ANGELO

I know it well, sir. Lo, here’s the chain.

I thought to have ta’en you at the Porcupine.

The chain unfinished made me stay thus long.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE (taking the chain)

What is your will that I shall do with this?

ANGELO

What please yourself, sir. I have made it for you.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Made it for me, sir? I bespoke it not.

ANGELO

Not once, nor twice, but twenty times you have.

Go home with it, and please your wife withal,

And soon at supper-time I’ll visit you,

And then receive my money for the chain.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

I pray you, sir, receive the money now,

For fear you ne’er see chain nor money more.

ANGELO

You are a merry man, sir. Fare you well. Exit

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

What I should think of this I cannot tell.

But this I think: there’s no man is so vain

That would refuse so fair an offered chain.

I see a man here needs not live by shifts,

When in the streets he meets such golden gifts.

I’ll to the mart, and there for Dromio stay.

If any ship put out, then straight away! Exit

4.1 Enter Second Merchant, Angelo the goldsmith, and an Officer

SECOND MERCHANT (to Angelo)

You know since Pentecost the sum is due,

And since I have not much importuned you;

Nor now I had not, but that I am bound

To Persia, and want guilders for my voyage.

Therefore make present satisfaction,

Or I’ll attach you by this officer.

ANGELO

Even just the sum that I do owe to you

Is growing to me by Antipholus,

And in the instant that I met with you

He had of me a chain. At five o’clock

I shall receive the money for the same.

Pleaseth you walk with me down to his house,

I will discharge my bond, and thank you too.

Enter Antipholus of Ephesus and Dromio of Ephesus from the Courtesan’s house (the Porcupine)

OFFICER

That labour may you save. See where he comes.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS (to Dromio)

While I go to the goldsmith’s house, go thou

And buy a rope’s end. That will I bestow

Among my wife and her confederates

For locking me out of my doors by day.

But soft, I see the goldsmith. Get thee gone.

Buy thou a rope, and bring it home to me.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

I buy a thousand pound a year, I buy a rope. Exit

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS (to Angelo)

A man is well holp up that trusts to you!

I promised your presence and the chain,

But neither chain nor goldsmith came to me.

Belike you thought our love would last too long

If it were chained together, and therefore came not.

ANGELO

Saving your merry humour, here’s the note

How much your chain weighs to the utmost carat,

The fineness of the gold, and chargeful fashion,

Which doth amount to three odd ducats more

Than I stand debted to this gentleman.

I pray you see him presently discharged,

For he is bound to sea, and stays but for it.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

I am not furnished with the present money.

Besides, I have some business in the town.

Good signor, take the stranger to my house,

And with you take the chain, and bid my wife

Disburse the sum on the receipt thereof.

Perchance I will be there as soon as you.

ANGELO

Then you will bring the chain to her yourself?

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

No, bear it with you, lest I come not time enough.

ANGELO

Well, sir, I will. Have you the chain about you?

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

An if I have not, sir, I hope you have;

Or else you may return without your money.

ANGELO

Nay, come, I pray you, sir, give me the chain.

Both wind and tide stays for this gentleman,

And I, to blame, have held him here too long.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Good Lord! You use this dalliance to excuse

Your breach of promise to the Porcupine.

I should have chid you for not bringing it,

But like a shrew you first begin to brawl.

SECOND MERCHANT (to Angelo)

The hour steals on. I pray you, sir, dispatch.

ANGELO (to Antipholus)

You hear how he importunes me. The chain!

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Why, give it to my wife, and fetch your money.

ANGELO

Come, come, you know I gave it you even now.

Either send the chain, or send me by some token.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Fie, now you run this humour out of breath.

Come, where’s the chain? I pray you let me see it.

SECOND MERCHANT

My business cannot brook this dalliance.

Good sir, say whe’er you’ll answer me or no;

If not, I’ll leave him to the officer.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

I answer you? What should I answer you?

ANGELO

The money that you owe me for the chain.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

I owe you none till I receive the chain.

ANGELO

You know I gave it you half an hour since.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

You gave me none. You wrong me much to say so.

ANGELO

You wrong me more, sir, in denying it.

Consider how it stands upon my credit.

SECOND MERCHANT

Well, officer, arrest him at my suit.

OFFICER (to Angelo)

I do, and charge you in the Duke’s name to obey me.

ANGELO (to Antipholus)

This touches me in reputation.

Either consent to pay this sum for me,

Or I attach you by this officer.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Consent to pay thee that I never had?

Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou dar’st.

ANGELO

Here is thy fee: arrest him, officer.

I would not spare my brother in this case

If he should scorn me so apparently.

OFFICER (to Antipholus)

I do arrest you, sir. You hear the suit.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

I do obey thee till I give thee bail.

(To Angelo) But, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as dear

As all the metal in your shop will answer.

ANGELO

Sir, sir, I shall have law in Ephesus,

To your notorious shame, I doubt it not.

Enter Dromio of Syracuse, from the bay

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

Master, there’s a barque of Epidamnum

That stays but till her owner comes aboard,

And then she bears away. Our freightage, sir,

I have conveyed aboard, and I have bought

The oil, the balsamum, and aqua-vitae.

The ship is in her trim; the merry wind

Blows fair from land. They stay for naught at all

But for their owner, master, and yourself.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

How now? A madman? Why, thou peevish sheep,

What ship of Epidamnum stays for me?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

A ship you sent me to, to hire waftage.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a rope,

And told thee to what purpose and what end.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

You sent me for a ropës end as soon.

You sent me to the bay, sir, for a barque.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

I will debate this matter at more leisure,

And teach your ears to list me with more heed.

To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight.

Give her this key, and tell her in the desk

That’s covered o’er with Turkish tapestry

There is a purse of ducats. Let her send it.

Tell her I am arrested in the street,

And that shall bail me. Hie thee, slave. Be gone !—

On, officer, to prison, till it come.

Exeunt all but Dromio of Syracuse

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

To Adriana. That is where we dined,

Where Dowsabel did claim me for her husband.

She is too big, I hope, for me to compass.

Thither I must, although against my will;

For servants must their masters’ minds fulfil. Exit