Текст книги "William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition"

Автор книги: William Shakespeare

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2.1 Enter Antonio and Sebastian

ANTONIO Will you stay no longer, nor will you not that

I go with you?

SEBASTIAN By your patience, no. My stars shine darkly over me. The malignancy of my fate might perhaps distemper yours, therefore I shall crave of you your leave that I may bear my evils alone. It were a bad recompense for your love to lay any of them on you.

ANTONIO Let me yet know of you whither you are bound.

SEBASTIAN No, sooth, sir. My determinate voyage is mere extravagancy. But I perceive in you so excellent a touch of modesty that you will not extort from me what I am willing to keep in. Therefore it charges me in manners the rather to express myself. You must know of me then, Antonio, my name is Sebastian, which I called Roderigo. My father was that Sebastian of Messaline whom I know you have heard of. He left behind him myself and a sister, both born in an hour. If the heavens had been pleased, would we had so ended. But you, sir, altered that, for some hour before you took me from the breach of the sea was my sister drowned.

ANTONIO Alas the day!

SEBASTIAN A lady, sir, though it was said she much resembled me, was yet of many accounted beautiful. But though I could not with such estimable wonder over-far believe that, yet thus far I will boldly publish her: she bore a mind that envy could not but call fair. She is drowned already, sir, with salt water, though I seem to drown her remembrance again with more.

ANTONIO Pardon me, sir, your bad entertainment.

SEBASTIAN O good Antonio, forgive me your trouble.

ANTONIO If you will not murder me for my love, let me be your servant.

SEBASTIAN If you will not undo what you have done—that is, kill him whom you have recovered—desire it not. Fare ye well at once. My bosom is full of kindness, and I am yet so near the manners of my mother that upon the least occasion more mine eyes will tell tales of me. I am bound to the Count Orsino’s court. Farewell.

⌈Exit⌉

ANTONIO

The gentleness of all the gods go with thee!

I have many enemies in Orsino’s court,

Else would I very shortly see thee there.

But come what may, I do adore thee so

That danger shall seem sport, and I will go. Exit

2.2 Enter Viola as Cesario, and Malvolio, at several doors

MALVOLIO Were not you ev’n now with the Countess Olivia?

VIOLA Even now, sir, on a moderate pace, I have since arrived but hither.

MALVOLIO (offering a ring) She returns this ring to you, sir. You might have saved me my pains to have taken it away yourself. She adds, moreover, that you should put your lord into a desperate assurance she will none of him. And one thing more: that you be never so hardy to come again in his affairs, unless it be to report your lord’s taking of this. Receive it so.

VIOLA

She took the ring of me. I’ll none of it.

MALVOLIO Come, sir, you peevishly threw it to her, and her will is it should be so returned.

He throws the ring down

If it be worth stooping for, there it lies, in your eye; if

not, be it his that finds it. Exit

VIOLA (picking up the ring)

I left no ring with her. What means this lady?

Fortune forbid my outside have not charmed her.

She made good view of me, indeed so much

That straight methought her eyes had lost her tongue,

For she did speak in starts, distractedly.

She loves me, sure. The cunning of her passion

Invites me in this churlish messenger.

None of my lord’s ring! Why, he sent her none.

I am the man. If it be so—as ’tis—

Poor lady, she were better love a dream!

Disguise, I see thou art a wickedness

Wherein the pregnant enemy does much.

How easy is it for the proper false

In women’s waxen hearts to set their forms!

Alas, our frailty is the cause, not we,

For such as we are made of, such we be.

How will this fadge? My master loves her dearly,

And I, poor monster, fond as much on him,

And she, mistaken, seems to dote on me.

What will become of this? As I am man,

My state is desperate for my master’s love.

As I am woman, now, alas the day,

What thriftless sighs shall poor Olivia breathe!

O time, thou must untangle this, not I.

It is too hard a knot for me t’untie. Exit

2.3 Enter Sir Toby and Sir Andrew

SIR TOBY Approach, Sir Andrew. Not to be abed after midnight is to be up betimes, and diliculo surgere, thou knowest.

SIR ANDREW Nay, by my troth, I know not; but I know to be up late is to be up late.

SIR TOBY A false conclusion. I hate it as an unfilled can. To be up after midnight and to go to bed then is early; so that to go to bed after midnight is to go to bed betimes. Does not our lives consist of the four elements?

SIR ANDREW Faith, so they say, but I think it rather consists of eating and drinking.

SIR TOBY Thou’rt a scholar; let us therefore eat and drink. Marian, I say, a stoup of wine.

Enter Feste, the clown

SIR ANDREW Here comes the fool, i’faith.

FESTE How now, my hearts. Did you never see the picture of ‘we three’?

SIR TOBY Welcome, ass. Now let’s have a catch.

SIR ANDREW By my troth, the fool has an excellent breast. I had rather than forty shillings I had such a leg, and so sweet a breath to sing, as the fool has. In sooth, thou wast in very gracious fooling last night, when thou spokest of Pigrogromitus, of the Vapians passing the equinoctial of Queubus. ‘Twas very good, i’faith. I sent thee sixpence for thy leman. Hadst it?

FESTE I did impeticos thy gratility; for Malvolio’s nose is no whipstock. My lady has a white hand, and the Myrmidons are no bottle-ale houses.

SIR ANDREW Excellent! Why, this is the best fooling, when all is done. Now a song.

SIR TOBY (to Feste) Come on, there is sixpence for you. Let’s have a song.

SIR ANDREW (to Feste) There’s a testril of me, too. If one knight give a—

FESTE Would you have a love-song, or a song of good life?

SIR TOBY A love song, a love-song.

SIR ANDREW Ay, ay. I care not for good life.

FESTE (sings)

O mistress mine, where are you roaming?

O stay and hear, your true love’s coming,

That can sing both high and low.

Trip no further, pretty sweeting.

Journeys end in lovers meeting,

Every wise man’s son doth know.

SIR ANDREW Excellent good, i’faith.

SIR TOBY Good, good.

FESTE

What is love? ’Tis not hereafter,

Present mirth hath present laughter.

What’s to come is still unsure.

In delay there lies no plenty,

Then come kiss me, sweet and twenty.

Youth’s a stuff will not endure.

SIR ANDREW A mellifluous voice, as I am true knight.

SIR TOBY A contagious breath.

SIR ANDREW Very sweet and contagious, i’faith.

SIR TOBY To hear by the nose, it is dulcet in contagion. But shall we make the welkin dance indeed? Shall we rouse the night-owl in a catch that will draw three souls out of one weaver? Shall we do that?

SIR ANDREW An you love me, let’s do’t. I am dog at a catch.

FESTE By’r Lady, sir, and some dogs will catch well.

SIR ANDREW Most certain. Let our catch be ‘Thou knave’.

FESTE ‘Hold thy peace, thou knave’, knight. I shall be constrained in’t to call thee knave, knight.

SIR ANDREW ‘Tis not the first time I have constrained one to call me knave. Begin, fool. It begins ‘Hold thy peace’.

FESTE I shall never begin if I hold my peace.

SIR ANDREW Good, i’faith. Come, begin.

They sing the catch.

Enter Maria

MARIA What a caterwauling do you keep here! If my lady have not called up her steward Malvolio and bid him turn you out of doors, never trust me.

SIR TOBY My lady’s a Cathayan, we are politicians, Malvolio’s a Peg-o‘-Ramsey, and ‘hree merry men be we’. Am not I consanguineous? Am I not of her blood? Tilly-vally—‘lady’! ‘There dwelt a man in Babylon, lady, lady.’

FESTE Beshrew me, the knight’s in admirable fooling.

SIR ANDREW Ay, he does well enough if he be disposed, and so do I, too. He does it with a better grace, but I do it more natural.

SIR TOBY

‘O’the twelfth day of December’—

MARIA For the love o’ God, peace.

Enter Malvolio

MALVOLIO My masters, are you mad? Or what are you? Have you no wit, manners, nor honesty, but to gabble like tinkers at this time of night? Do ye make an alehouse of my lady’s house, that ye squeak out your coziers’ catches without any mitigation or remorse of voice? Is there no respect of place, persons, nor time in you?

SIR TOBY We did keep time, sir, in our catches. Sneck up!

MALVOLIO Sir Toby, I must be round with you. My lady bade me tell you that though she harbours you as her kinsman she’s nothing allied to your disorders. If you can separate yourself and your misdemeanours you are welcome to the house. If not, an it would please you to take leave of her she is very willing to bid you farewell.

SIR TOBY

‘Farewell, dear heart, since I must needs be gone.’

MARIA Nay, good Sir Toby.

FESTE

‘His eyes do show his days are almost done.’

MALVOLIO Is’t even so?

SIR TOBY

‘But I will never die.’

FESTE

‘Sir Toby, there you lie.’

MALVOLIO This is much credit to you.

SIR TOBY

‘Shall I bid him go?’

FESTE

‘What an if you do?’

SIR TOBY

‘Shall I bid him go, and spare not?’

FESTE

‘O no, no, no, no, you dare not.’

SIR TOBY Out o’ tune, sir, ye lie. (To Malvolio) Art any more than a steward? Dost thou think because thou art virtuous there shall be no more cakes and ale?

FESTE Yes, by Saint Anne, and ginger shall be hot i’th’ mouth, too.

SIR TOBY Thou‘rt i’th’ right. (To Malvolio) Go, sir, rub your chain with crumbs. (To Maria) A stoup of wine, Maria.

MALVOLIO Mistress Mary, if you prized my lady’s favour at anything more than contempt you would not give means for this uncivil rule. She shall know of it, by this hand. Exit

MARIA Go shake your ears.

SIR ANDREW ’Twere as good a deed as to drink when a man’s a-hungry to challenge him the field and then to break promise with him, and make a fool of him.

SIR TOBY Do’t, knight. I’ll write thee a challenge, or I’ll deliver thy indignation to him by word of mouth.

MARIA Sweet Sir Toby, be patient for tonight. Since the youth of the Count’s was today with my lady she is much out of quiet. For Monsieur Malvolio, let me alone with him. If I do not gull him into a nayword and make him a common recreation, do not think I have wit enough to lie straight in my bed. I know I can do it.

SIR TOBY Possess us, possess us, tell us something of him.

MARIA Marry, sir, sometimes he is a kind of puritan.

SIR ANDREW O, if I thought that I’d beat him like a dog.

SIR TOBY What, for being a puritan? Thy exquisite reason, dear knight.

SIR ANDREW I have no exquisite reason for’t, but I have reason good enough.

MARIA The dev’l a puritan that he is, or anything constantly but a time-pleaser, an affectioned ass that cons state without book and utters it by great swathes; the best persuaded of himself, so crammed, as he thinks, with excellencies, that it is his grounds of faith that all that look on him love him; and on that vice in him will my revenge find notable cause to work.

SIR TOBY What wilt thou do?

MARIA I will drop in his way some obscure epistles of love, wherein by the colour of his beard, the shape of his leg, the manner of his gait, the expressure of his eye, forehead, and complexion, he shall find himself most feelingly personated. I can write very like my lady your niece; on a forgotten matter we can hardly make distinction of our hands.

SIR TOBY Excellent, I smell a device.

SIR ANDREW I have’t in my nose too.

SIR TOBY He shall think by the letters that thou wilt drop that they come from my niece, and that she’s in love with him.

MARIA My purpose is indeed a horse of that colour.

SIR ANDREW And your horse now would make him an ass.

MARIA Ass I doubt not.

SIR ANDREW O, ’twill be admirable.

MARIA Sport royal, I warrant you. I know my physic will work with him. I will plant you two—and let the fool make a third—where he shall find the letter. Observe his construction of it. For this night, to bed, and dream on the event. Farewell. Exit

SIR TOBY Good night, Penthesilea.

SIR ANDREW Before me, she’s a good wench.

SIR TOBY She’s a beagle true bred, and one that adores me. What o’ that?

SIR ANDREW I was adored once, too.

SIR TOBY Let’s to bed, knight. Thou hadst need send for more money.

SIR ANDREW If I cannot recover your niece, I am a foul way out.

SIR TOBY Send for money, knight. If thou hast her not i’th’ end, call me cut.

SIR ANDREW If I do not, never trust me, take it how you will.

SIR TOBY Come, come, I’ll go burn some sack, ’tis too late to go to bed now. Come knight, come knight. Exeunt

2.4 Enter the Duke, Viola as Cesario, Curio, and others

ORSINO

Give me some music. Now good morrow, friends.

Now good Cesario, but that piece of song,

That old and antic song we heard last night.

Methought it did relieve my passion much,

More than light airs and recollected terms

Of these most brisk and giddy-paced times.

Come, but one verse.

CURIO He is not here, so please your lordship, that should sing it.

ORSINO Who was it?

CURIO Feste the jester, my lord, a fool that the lady Olivia’s father took much delight in. He is about the house.

ORSINO

Seek him out, and play the tune the while. Exit Curio

Music plays

(To Viola) Come hither, boy. If ever thou shalt love,

In the sweet pangs of it remember me;

For such as I am, all true lovers are,

Unstaid and skittish in all motions else

Save in the constant image of the creature

That is beloved. How dost thou like this tune?

VIOLA

It gives a very echo to the seat

Where love is throned.

ORSINO

Thou dost speak masterly.

My life upon’t, young though thou art thine eye

Hath stayed upon some favour that it loves.

Hath it not, boy?

VIOLA

A little, by your favour.

ORSINO

What kind of woman is’t?

VIOLA

Of your complexion.

ORSINO

She is not worth thee then. What years, i’faith?

VIOLA About your years, my lord.

ORSINO

Too old, by heaven. Let still the woman take

An elder than herself. So wears she to him;

So sways she level in her husband’s heart.

For, boy, however we do praise ourselves,

Our fancies are more giddy and unfirm,

More longing, wavering, sooner lost and worn,

Than women’s are.

VIOLA

I think it well, my lord.

ORSINO

Then let thy love be younger than thyself,

Or thy affection cannot hold the bent;

For women are as roses, whose fair flower

Being once displayed, doth fall that very hour.

VIOLA

And so they are. Alas that they are so:

To die even when they to perfection grow.

Enter Curio and Feste the clown

ORSINO (to Feste)

O fellow, come, the song we had last night.

Mark it, Cesario, it is old and plain.

The spinsters, and the knitters in the sun,

And the free maids that weave their thread with

bones,

Do use to chant it. It is silly sooth,

And dallies with the innocence of love,

Like the old age.

FESTE Are you ready, sir?

ORSINO I prithee, sing.

Music

FESTE (sings)

Come away, come away death,

And in sad cypress let me be laid.

Fie away, fie away breath,

I am slain by a fair cruel maid.

My shroud of white, stuck all with yew,

O prepare it.

My part of death no one so true

Did share it.

Not a flower, not a flower sweet

On my black coffin let there be strewn.

Not a friend, not a friend greet

My poor corpse, where my bones shall be thrown.

A thousand thousand sighs to save,

Lay me O where

Sad true lover never find my grave,

To weep there.

DUKE (giving money) There’s for thy pains.

FESTE No pains, sir. I take pleasure in singing, sir.

ORSINO I’ll pay thy pleasure then.

FESTE Truly, sir, and pleasure will be paid, one time or another.

ORSINO Give me now leave to leave thee.

FESTE Now the melancholy god protect thee, and the tailor make thy doublet of changeable taffeta, for thy mind is a very opal. I would have men of such constancy put to sea, that their business might be everything, and their intent everywhere, for that’s it that always makes a good voyage of nothing. Farewell. Exit

ORSINO

Let all the rest give place: Exeunt Curio and others

Once more, Cesario,

Get thee to yon same sovereign cruelty.

Tell her my love, more noble than the world,

Prizes not quantity of dirty lands.

The parts that fortune hath bestowed upon her

Tell her I hold as giddily as fortune;

But ’tis that miracle and queen of gems

That nature pranks her in attracts my soul.

VIOLA

But if she cannot love you, sir?

ORSINO

I cannot be so answered.

VIOLA Sooth, but you must.

Say that some lady, as perhaps there is,

Hath for your love as great a pang of heart

As you have for Olivia. You cannot love her.

You tell her so. Must she not then be answered?

ORSINO

There is no woman’s sides

Can bide the beating of so strong a passion

As love doth give my heart; no woman’s heart

So big, to hold so much. They lack retention.

Alas, their love may be called appetite,

No motion of the liver, but the palate,

That suffer surfeit, cloyment, and revolt.

But mine is all as hungry as the sea,

And can digest as much. Make no compare

Between that love a woman can bear me

And that I owe Olivia.

VIOLA Ay, but I know—

ORSINO What dost thou know?

VIOLA

Too well what love women to men may owe.

In faith, they are as true of heart as we.

My father had a daughter loved a man

As it might be, perhaps, were I a woman

I should your lordship.

ORSINO

And what’s her history?

VIOLA

A blank, my lord. She never told her love,

But let concealment, like a worm i’th’ bud,

Feed on her damask cheek. She pined in thought,

And with a green and yellow melancholy

She sat like patience on a monument,

Smiling at grief. Was not this love indeed?

We men may say more, swear more, but indeed

Our shows are more than will; for still we prove

Much in our vows, but little in our love.

ORSINO

But died thy sister of her love, my boy?

VIOLA

I am all the daughters of my father’s house,

And all the brothers too; and yet I know not.

Sir, shall I to this lady?

ORSINO

Ay, that’s the theme,

To her in haste. Give her this jewel. Say

My love can give no place, bide no denay.

Exeunt severally

2.5 Enter Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian

SIR TOBY Come thy ways, Signor Fabian.

FABIAN Nay, I’ll come. If I lose a scruple of this sport let me be boiled to death with melancholy.

SIR TOBY Wouldst thou not be glad to have the niggardly rascally sheep-biter come by some notable shame?

FABIAN I would exult, man. You know he brought me out o’ favour with my lady about a bear-baiting here.

SIR TOBY To anger him we’ll have the bear again, and we will fool him black and blue, shall we not, Sir Andrew?

SIR ANDREW An we do not, it is pity of our lives.

Enter Maria with a letter

SIR TOBY Here comes the little villain. How now, my metal of India?

MARIA Get ye all three into the box-tree. Malvolio’s coming down this walk. He has been yonder i’ the sun practising behaviour to his own shadow this half-hour. Observe him, for the love of mockery, for I know this letter will make a contemplative idiot of him. Close, in the name of jesting!

The men hide. Maria places the letter

Lie thou there, for here comes the trout that must be caught with tickling.

Exit

Enter Malvolio

MALVOLIO ’Tis but fortune, all is fortune. Maria once told me she did affect me, and I have heard herself come thus near, that should she fancy it should be one of my complexion. Besides, she uses me with a more exalted respect than anyone else that follows her. What should I think on’t?

SIR TOBY Here’s an overweening rogue.

FABIAN O, peace! Contemplation makes a rare turkeycock of him—how he jets under his advanced plumes!

SIR ANDREW ’Slight, I could so beat the rogue.

SIR TOBY Peace, I say.

MALVOLIO To be Count Malvolio!

SIR TOBY Ah, rogue.

SIR ANDREW Pistol him, pistol him.

SIR TOBY Peace, peace.

MALVOLIO There is example for’t: the Lady of the Strachey married the yeoman of the wardrobe.

SIR ANDREW Fie on him, Jezebel.

FABIAN O peace, now he’s deeply in. Look how imagination blows him.

MALVOLIO Having been three months married to her, sitting in my state—

SIR TOBY O for a stone-bow to hit him in the eye!

MALVOLIO Calling my officers about me, in my branched velvet gown, having come from a day-bed where I have left Olivia sleeping—

SIR TOBY Fire and brimstone!

FABIAN O peace, peace.

MALVOLIO And then to have the humour of state and—after a demure travel of regard, telling them I know my place, as I would they should do theirs—to ask for my kinsman Toby.

SIR TOBY Bolts and shackles!

FABIAN O peace, peace, peace, now, now.

MALVOLIO Seven of my people with an obedient start make out for him. I frown the while, and perchance wind up my watch, or play with my—(touching his chain) some rich jewel. Toby approaches; curtsies there to me.

SIR TOBY Shall this fellow live?

FABIAN Though our silence be drawn from us with cars, yet peace.

MALVOLIO I extend my hand to him thus, quenching my familiar smile with an austere regard of control—

SIR TOBY And does not Toby take you a blow o’ the lips, then?

MALVOLIO Saying ‘Cousin Toby, my fortunes, having cast me on your niece, give me this prerogative of speech’—

SIR TOBY What, what!

MALVOLIO ‘You must amend your drunkenness.’

SIR TOBY Out, scab.

FABIAN Nay, patience, or we break the sinews of our plot.

MALVOLIO ‘Besides, you waste the treasure of your time with a foolish knight’—

SIR ANDREW That’s me, I warrant you.

MALVOLIO ‘One Sir Andrew.’

SIR ANDREW I knew ’twas I, for many do call me fool.

MALVOLIO (seeing the letter) What employment have we here? FABIAN Now is the woodcock near the gin.

SIR TOBY O peace, and the spirit of humours intimate reading aloud to him.

MALVOLIO (taking up the letter) By my life, this is my lady’s hand. These be her very c‘s, her u’s, and her t’s, and thus makes she her great P’s. It is in contempt of question her hand.

SIR ANDREW Her c‘s, her u’s, and her t’s? Why that?

MALVOLIO (reads) ‘To the unknown beloved, this, and my good wishes.’ Her very phrases! (Opening the letter) By your leave, wax—soft, and the impressure her Lucrece, with which she uses to seal—’tis my lady. To whom should this be?

FABIAN This wins him, liver and all.

MALVOLIO

‘Jove knows I love,

But who?

Lips do not move,

No man must know.’

‘No man must know.’ What follows? The numbers altered. ‘No man must know.’ If this should be thee, Malvolio?

SIR TOBY Marry, hang thee, brock.

MALVOLIO

‘I may command where I adore,

But silence like a Lucrece knife

With bloodless stroke my heart doth gore.

M.O.A.I. doth sway my life.’

FABIAN A fustian riddle.

SIR TOBY Excellent wench, say I.

MALVOLIO ’M.O.A.I. doth sway my life.’ Nay, but first let me see, let me see, let me see. FABIAN What dish o’ poison has she dressed him!

SIR TOBY And with what wing the staniel checks at it!

MALVOLIO ‘I may command where I adore.’ Why, she may command me. I serve her, she is my lady. Why, this is evident to any formal capacity. There is no obstruction in this. And the end—what should that alphabetical position portend? If I could make that resemble something in me. Softly—‘M.O.A.I.’

SIR TOBY O ay, make up that, he is now at a cold scent.

FABIAN Sowter will cry upon’t for all this, though it be as rank as a fox.

MALVOLIO ‘M.’ Malvolio—‘M’—why, that begins my name.

FABIAN Did not I say he would work it out? The cur is excellent at faults.

MALVOLIO ‘M’ But then there is no consonancy in the sequel. That suffers under probation. ‘A’ should follow, but ‘O’ does.

FABIAN And ‘O’ shall end, I hope.

SIR TOBY Ay, or I’ll cudgel him, and make him cry ‘O!’

MALVOLIO And then ‘I’ comes behind.

FABIAN Ay, an you had any eye behind you you might see more detraction at your heels than fortunes before you.

MALVOLIO ‘M.O.A.I.’ This simulation is not as the former; and yet to crush this a little, it would bow to me, for every one of these letters are in my name. Soft, here follows prose: ‘If this fall into thy hand, revolve. In my stars I am above thee, but be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon ’em. Thy fates open their hands, let thy blood and spirit embrace them, and to inure thyself to what thou art like to be, cast thy humble slough, and appear fresh. Be opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants. Let thy tongue tang arguments of state; put thyself into the trick of singularity. She thus advises thee that sighs for thee. Remember who commended thy yellow stockings, and wished to see thee ever cross-gartered. I say remember, go to, thou art made if thou desirest to be so; if not, let me see thee a steward still, the fellow of servants, and not worthy to touch Fortune’s fingers. Farewell. She that would alter services with thee,

The Fortunate-Unhappy.’

Daylight and champaign discovers not more. This is open. I will be proud, I will read politic authors, I will baffle Sir Toby, I will wash off gross acquaintance, I will be point-device the very man. I do not now fool myself, to let imagination jade me; for every reason excites to this, that my lady loves me. She did commend my yellow stockings of late, she did praise my leg, being cross-gartered, and in this she manifests herself to my love, and with a kind of injunction drives me to these habits of her liking. I thank my stars, I am happy. I will be strange, stout, in yellow stockings, and cross-gartered, even with the swiftness of putting on. Jove and my stars be praised. Here is yet a postscript. ‘Thou canst not choose but know who I am. If thou entertainest my love, let it appear in thy smiling, thy smiles become thee well. Therefore in my presence still smile, dear my sweet, I prithee.’ Jove, I thank thee. I will smile, I will do everything that thou wilt have me.

Exit

Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian come from hiding

FABIAN I will not give my part of this sport for a pension of thousands to be paid from the Sophy.

SIR TOBY I could marry this wench for this device.

SIR ANDREW So could I, too.

SIR TOBY And ask no other dowry with her but such another jest.

Enter Maria

SIR ANDREW Nor I neither.

FABIAN Here comes my noble gull-catcher.

SIR TOBY (to Maria) Wilt thou set thy foot o’ my neck?

SIR ANDREW (to Maria) Or o’ mine either?

SIR TOBY (to Maria) Shall I play my freedom at tray-trip, and become thy bondslave?

SIR ANDREW (to Maria) I’faith, or I either?

SIR TOBY (to Maria) Why, thou hast put him in such a dream that when the image of it leaves him, he must run mad.

MARIA Nay, but say true, does it work upon him?

SIR TOBY Like aqua vitae with a midwife.

MARIA If you will then see the fruits of the sport, mark his first approach before my lady. He will come to her in yellow stockings, and ’tis a colour she abhors, and cross-gartered, a fashion she detests; and he will smile upon her, which will now be so unsuitable to her disposition, being addicted to a melancholy as she is, that it cannot but turn him into a notable contempt. If you will see it, follow me.

SIR TOBY To the gates of Tartar, thou most excellent devil of wit.

SIR ANDREW I’ll make one, too. Exeunt