Текст книги "Avoiding Responsibility"

Автор книги: K. A. Linde

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"You are talking about people I care about Seth. You should watch what you are saying," Ramsey tried to remind him. He hated the way Seth referred to Lexi as if she were just meat. He talked about her and Jack as if they were inevitable, as if she had no choice in the matter. He couldn't let that be the case. And listening to him talk about her that way was only getting him more fired up. "You are telling me that Jack is going to cheat on my sister with the woman standing before you just because they have a history?" Ramsey asked in disbelief.

"If he hasn't already," Seth said scoffing. He was so certain of his deduction of the situation; he couldn't even see the effect he was having on the both of them. Or if he did, he didn't realize the significance of what he was ensuing.

Lexi, however, saw what was coming before it happened. Ramsey couldn't let his comment stand. The same thought had crossed his mind too many times, and she knew that he couldn't stand hearing it from one more person.

Ramsey cleared the distance between them in a split second hoisting Seth up by his shirt one more time. "Do not ever imply again that Lexi is a whore or that Jack would be stupid enough to hurt either one of them. He knows what I would do to him if that day came," he snarled.

"Ramsey, put him down," Lexi cried guilt washing over her at the fact that Seth was right. Jack had already cheated on Bekah with her. They had kissed several times, and then that dreadful decision to sleep with him on his birthday. She had let those things happen. Not that she could tell anyone that fact. If he chose Bekah, then by all means let him have her. She was bound and determined not to get in the way again. "People are coming over here," she said nodding her head towards the approaching bouncer.

"Alright man sorry. It's the alcohol talking," Seth muttered running his hand through his hair when Ramsey finally put him down.

"Is there a problem here?" a bouncer asked getting in Ramsey's face.

"No," Ramsey said flashing his pearly white teeth. "In fact, we're perfect. We'll be leaving shortly."

"Make it sooner rather than later," the man said menacingly before turning, walking a safe distance away, and staring at the group.

"Charming individual," Ramsey mumbled before turning his attention back to Seth. "Now stop changing the subject and tell me why you called me. Where is Jack?"

"So yeah about that," Seth said scratching the back of his head. "He's probably just in one of the back rooms where we sent him off about thirty minutes ago."

Ramsey took two big deep breaths trying to calm down his beating heart. He wanted to erupt. He wanted to unload every single angry feeling into pummeling this guy's face. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to contain himself under present circumstances. "You are saying…that Jack…is here? That Jack…is fine?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Yeah," Seth mumbled looking away from Ramsey's angry gaze. "We just wanted you out with us. We know you said you had business to take care of, but we thought you'd be back out here with us having a good time already."

"Seth, I could kill you," Lexi said smacking him on the shoulder. This was completely typical of something he would do. He was only thinking of himself. He didn't care what Ramsey reaction would be or the consequences could be.

"Oh do it again," he moaned commenting on her less than playful smack. His arms came up to circle her waist again, but the look on Ramsey's face made him discontinue his efforts.

"Let's get out of here," Ramsey said latching onto Lexi's elbow and ushering her towards the exit. She stumbled under the weight of his grasp, but he held her up as she scurried helplessly attempting to keep up.

"Come on man, don't be like that," Seth said rushing behind them. Hunter and Luke were close on his tail after realizing that they were going to leave after all the effort it had taken to get Ramsey here in the first place.

"Yeah Ramsey, you can't leave now. You just got here," Hunter called after him.

"Don't you want to be involved in Jack's bachelor party?" Luke asked.

"This is just ridiculous," Ramsey said stopping to face them. He didn't want to be scrutinized for his decisions. All he wanted was to be back in Lexi's bed picking back up where he left off. Now they had all ruined that opportunity for him for no reason.

"It's not that ridiculous. We skipped out on Vegas for you. We only came to New York based on your request. Then you don't even come out with us," Seth complained. "That's pretty fucked up."

Lexi's eyes shot to Ramsey. Coming to New York had been his request? This had nothing to do with Jack. If Jack had it his way, he would be in Las Vegas right now partying it up like the guys Hangover. He probably hadn't even considered Lexi in this decision.

A part of her was relieved that this had nothing to do with Jack. She couldn't handle him right now. She had been having a hard enough time getting over him, and now she was dealing with everything with Ramsey. However, that wasn't completely her feelings on the subject. Her heart had been through the shredder too many times to count, and she still had a small bit of hope left in her. She didn't like to admit. She certainly didn't like to think about it. But Jack had been her everything. Even after all the terrible things that had happened between them, she still couldn't look past the tiny piece of hope she'd kept locked away.

Of course, she kept it pushed back so that it wouldn't hurt her. She had tried to get over him the past year, and with Ramsey's help, had been mostly successful. That didn't change her desire to see him or that hope that maybe one day things could work out.

But it was impossible.

She knew that after what had happened in Atlanta between them they weren't meant to have a fairy tale ending. Giving another girl her engagement ring, whether it was a duplicate or not, kind of solidified their involvement with each other.

"You wanted to come to New York?" she breathed. Ramsey's hand was still attached to her arm, and at her words, he broke contact with her. His gaze swept to her, but he couldn't place the look on her face. He didn't know if she was happy or angry about the fact that he had switched her kinda-ex-boyfriend's bachelor party to New York City so that he could see her. It wasn't something he was exactly proud of, but he had needed to see her. It had been a month and he was missing her terribly. The quick change had been an abrupt decision, but the guys had gone along with it. He hadn't anticipated Lexi ever finding that out. He was kind of afraid to know what she was thinking.

"Yeah Lex," Seth began. Lexi cringed at the pet name. She still couldn't hear it from anyone without feeling slightly sick. "Can you believe we did all this for him, and he didn't even come out with us?" Seth asked trying to lighten the mood.

"Yes, actually I can," she murmured just loud enough to be heard over the music playing through the hidden speakers. She certainly believed that Ramsey would reroute their rendezvous to come to New York City. She highly doubted he had even given two thoughts to the shift since money wasn't an issue. He just did exactly what he wanted, and apparently, this time around, it had been to come see her.

"So we just wanted to get you out here," Seth told him gesturing around to the naked women and hundreds of bottles of alcohol that lined the bar. His meaning was clear – why wouldn't you want to be here?

"I feel as if I've been to one of these before. It's not the highlight of my evening." Seth's eyes widened in response. "I had better things to do until you called and told me that things had gone south. So, please, don't tell me that you interrupted my evening for absolutely no reason."

"I mean we had a reason," Seth said stretching the truth only slightly. "We wanted you out with us. You're a fun guy," he told Ramsey clapping him on the back. Lexi was surprised Seth could be that affectionate or even that forgiving after Ramsey had hoisted him up off of his feet by the collar of his shirt. She was pretty sure if it had been anyone else, a fight would have broke out. Now he was acting as if they were old friends. He was trying to play it off as if he had done Ramsey a favor by lying to him rather than completely ruining his night.

"And everything is alright with Jack? Someone didn't steal all of your money?" Ramsey asked fire in his voice.

Seth smiled impishly. "Nah, Jack is perfectly content, if you know what I mean," Seth said with a wink for emphasis.

Lexi's stomach rolled at the comment. Of course Jack would be in a back room with a stripped for his bachelor party. It only made sense that that would happen. And really she didn't care that it was happening. It was more the fact that this right of passage really solidified in her mind that he was really going to go through with this. He was really going to marry Bekah. A woman so detestable, she would do literally anything to stay on top.

"Yes, I know," Ramsey said seeing Lexi's skin pale at the comment.

Lexi's skin suddenly pricked up and all the hair on the back of her neck stood on end. She knew someone was watching her. She could feel the eyes from across the room. As her gaze found who was blatantly staring at her, her heart melted. "Jack," she murmured barely audible to the outside world.

Even from across the room, she knew that he wanted her. It was such an intense emotion, one that she was very accustomed to, that she could tell instantly where his mind was. She didn't think it helped that he was both drunk and likely incredibly horny from the strippers antics.

The rest of the group caught on as Jack made his way across the room. "Hey man how was it?" Luke asked as Jack passed him.

"Do you need more cash?" Hunter questioned him digging around in his pockets for some to give him if necessary.

Jack stopped in front of Lexi without acknowledging the rest of the group. Lexi could feel Ramsey tensing next to her, but she couldn't look away. It was like they were on the beach again when she had expected to see him. He was a vision that day drenched in sunlight and full of energy. He was looking at her the same way as if she weren't real, as if he had conjured her up out of thin air.

"Lex," he huskily muttered.

"Jack," she acknowledged not tearing her eyes from his crystal clear blue gaze filled with desire. She wanted to hold onto the disdain she felt for him that afternoon when she found out he was engaged. She wanted to feel the chains being broken and her release from his enslavement. She tried to hold onto that, but his eyes were just calling out to her.

She took a deep breath and moved to take a step backwards, a step out of his reach. Just as she moved, he stepped right into her personal zone and circled his arm around her. She gasped at the sudden movement and the feel of his arms around her.

Jack picked Lexi up off her feet as he straightened. Grappling for support, she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. As this happened, her head dropped down to the crook between his shoulder and his neck and she breathed in sharply. His familiar scent filled her nostrils and she reflexively sighed out pleasurably. He smelled exactly the same. It was the exact scent of sex. She hadn't realized but when she thought about sex this was the smell that came to mind.

For just a brief moment, that scent carried her back in time. She was where she was supposed to be. Jack was pressed against her, his lips pressed to her neck as he nuzzled close to her. His fingers grasped her thin waist digging into the silky red material. She could close her eyes and remember a simpler time when this had been her world, her source of happiness.

Even though it had been a year, she couldn't keep her instincts in check not with his body pressed so tightly against her. Her body knew what Jack was capable of doing to her and just out of basic desire, it wanted that. With him so close to her, she couldn't imagine another time before this moment. Her world was right side up again and all the difficulties she had struggled with for a year were stripped away.

Her heart was racing, and if she pulled away just fractionally, she knew his lips would be on hers. The alcohol coming out of his pores was too strong and his inhibitions were mostly thrown out the window around her. She knew that she hadn't been capable of resisting him before. Her brain thick with the memories of past desires didn't want to think of a reason to pull away.

Then, suddenly, all the sights and sounds of where she was and what she was doing came crashing down on her. The music seemed too loud and her ears popped as they adjusted to her brain waking up from its daze. The beer and whiskey clearly potent mingled in with the stale smell of the strip club. She gasped into his shoulder as the smell of sex, which had been so enticing just a moment ago, completely overwhelmed her. Her body reacted instantly to his touch, and she knew that she needed to get away from him. Her mind had finally caught up with what she was allowing to happen, and she forcefully shoved him away from her.

Her breathing was coming out in rapid spurts, and she thought she might hyperventilate if she didn't calm down. She glanced at Ramsey and tried not to over-analyze the disappointed look on his face. She just needed to calm herself down enough to be able to give a proper response to Jack's appearance.

Before she could come up with something, Jack spoke, "You're here to celebrate with me."

"That's what I said," Seth agreed hurrying to intervene before Ramsey got a chance to speak.

Lexi just sputtered in shock. Why would he want her to stay? This hadn't been his idea. He didn't have a clue that this was going to happen, and now he wanted her to stay? She couldn't process this right now. She was at a strip club for Jack's bachelor party with Ramsey. She couldn't think of a much more uncomfortable situation. She knew, when she was in association with Ramsey, she might have to see Jack on occasion, but nothing like this. She just was not prepared for anything like this.

Suddenly a round of shots appeared before them that Luke had ordered at the bar. Lexi hadn't even noticed until a shot glass filled with clear liquid was shoved into her hand.

Seth raised his glass high. "A toast. To Jack's freedom. Soon enough, he won't have it anymore!"

The guys laughed and downed their shots. Lexi stared at the liquid that she knew would only make this night worse and debated. After a moment of hesitation she poured the liquid down her throat letting the burning sensation wash away any emotion she was presently feeling.

"Vodka," she sputtered covering her mouth and searching around for a chaser. She snatched a drink out of Hunter's hand and took a big gulp not caring what was in the glass. Not exactly a wise decision since she ended chasing the vodka with a large gulp of bourbon. She swallowed hard and tried to force back the tears that were threatening to be unleashed from the sheer toxicity of what she had just consumed.

"Are you okay?" Ramsey asked placing his hand gently on her lower back to steady her.

"Peachy keen jelly bean," she muttered indignantly.

The rest of the group had settled back into a cluster of chairs in the corner they had occupied. It was pretty clear that they were all obliterated though, and most of the cash they had brought with them was depleted. The bouncer who had spoken to them earlier appeared at Ramsey's side. "If you guys aren't going to be spending any more money, then you should probably do as you originally intended and get out of here," he said motioning towards the door.

Ramsey took the man aside and had a few words with him, but eventually agreed that perhaps it was the best time to get out of there. The guys had gotten in their good times, and had a few too many stories already about the trip. Ramsey corralled the group and forced them out of the door. He stuffed the four guys in one cab and took a separate one with Lexi to their hotel.

The ride to the hotel was silent. Lexi was still a pissed about the entire situation. She hated herself for her moment of weakness with Jack. She hated it even more than Ramsey had had to witness it. She was certain that Ramsey wasn't exactly happy about how everything had gone down either. There was no way this was how he had intended their night to progress. When she had invited him into her place, she was sure that things were going to work themselves out. Now they had both done incredibly stupid things, and she just didn't know where they were going from here…or even where she wanted them to go.

Luckily, the guys had waited outside for them. Whether they had done that out of courtesy or because they were too intoxicated to know where their room was, Lexi wasn't certain. Lexi followed them up to their room to wish Ramsey good night and then head home. She was both physically and mentally exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster that this night had turned out to be. All she wanted to do was go home and sleep off the hangover she knew would result from mixing too many types of alcohol.

They stepped into the hallway and Ramsey slid the keycard into the slot allowing everyone to enter. Just as she was about to walk inside, Jack latched onto her arm. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked resting his arm against the wall for support. She could tell he was really drunk, and that without the support he would have already fallen over. This probably meant bad things for her. She couldn't have him trying to be sweet to her or even worse, actually try something with her.

But as always, she was torn. It wasn't like Jack could do much more harm to her life than he already had. And she was supremely curious as to his motives for the whole trip not to mention for the conversation they would have if she stayed.

"Lexi, come on," Ramsey said glaring at Jack.

"Uh…" she muttered her eyeing moving between the two guys.

Ramsey's green eyes pleaded with her to just say no to him. He was begging her to follow him into the room and not care what Jack had to say. He didn't exactly trust them together, and it was with good reason for him to be on the cautious side about leaving them alone, even if they were just outside of the room he would be standing in. "Please," he implored.

"Uh, just give us a minute," she said taking a step away from the door.

"You're serious?" he asked his throat going dry.

"It'll just be a minute," she promised. "If it's much longer than that, come out here and save me." She sent him a reassuring smile, but she could tell he wasn't reassured. The last thing he wanted to do was leave her out here by herself. But as the gentleman that he was, he smiled forlornly at her, walked into the hotel room, and closed the door.

One minute.

"What do you want Jack?" she asked.

"I just…" Jack began unable to keep from slurring his words. "I'm glad…I g-g-got to s-s-see you." His eyes were half-closed and so the beautiful blue eyes underneath weren't able to focus on her. This gave her a little more confidence

"You didn't expect to see me though," she prompted hoping to catch him.

"No, but it was a g-g-great surprise," he told her.

"Yea at least for one of us," she muttered sarcastically.

"You didn't want to see me?" he asked his eyes popping open and looking at her like a sad puppy. She sighed and tried to resist the urge to kiss him. She couldn't give into his antics. He was gorgeous. She had always known that. She didn't need to let that affect her any longer.

"Jack why did you want to talk to me?" she asked changing the subject away from dangerous territory. She didn't realize that she was actually moving into worse grounds.

"Are you going to be at my wedding?" Jack drunkenly asked stepping into her personal space.

Lexi's mouth popped open in surprise. She couldn't believe he would bring that up. What a terrible thing to do to someone! She had loved him with everything, and now he was just going to throw what she had lost in her face. She couldn't believe it. She didn't want to be hurt from his statement, but she was. "Jack, no…" she trailed off not wanting to let him see he was affecting her so strongly.

"But you're not in school."

"No," she confirmed.

"Well then, I'd like to invite you," he stammered. He took another step forward clearing the distance she had left between them. His hand left the wall which was holding him up and he reached out and grasped her hips.

Lexi bit her lip as his head bobbed considerably close to her mouth. She tried to fend him off but he was too drunk to really know what he was doing. She put both her hands flat on his chest to hold him backwards. "Jack, I don't think that's such a good idea. Sober you agreed or else you would've sent me an invitation."

Jack seemed to notice her efforts to get him off her and stood a little straighter. One hand snaked up to rest on her cheek effectively tilting her head up to him. His blue eyes bored into her deep chocolate brown ones. Her breath caught at the sudden movement. "You're drunk," Lexi murmured.

"Yes, but it doesn't change what I said."

"Actually it does," she told him.

"I want you to come to the wedding."

"Why Jack?" she asked shaking her head just slightly. She couldn't think of a reason for her to be there. This was just painful for both of them.

"Lex, I know that you're over me," he began. Lexi tried to hide the shock from her face. "You were my best friend for a long time. You've been at every important moment of my life, and it wouldn't feel right not having you there."

"You think I'm…" she started, but was cut off by Jack leaning forward and resting his forehead gently against her own.

"I'm sorry. You know that right?" he asked his voice full of remorse.

She breathed in the familiar scent that was associated with Jack, and tried to keep her mind clear. This was harder than she had ever imagined it would be. "I know Jack, but like you said," she began taking a step backwards, "it doesn't change anything."

Even his drunken brain could process the fact that she had used the same words as him a year ago. He sighed heavily and nodded. "That's fair. But know that I want you there." Lexi nodded stuffing a strand of hair behind her ear anxiously. "No need to be nervous, love," Jack murmured taking her hand in his own and tucking another strand behind her ear affectionately.

The door clicked open behind them, and Ramsey cleared his throat as loud as he could. Jack gave her a despondent smile as he ran his hand through her silky hair. Lexi coughed uncomfortably taking a step backwards and out of his reach. She allowed him to walk past her into the room and the door to close before she turned to face Ramsey.

He didn't even have to say anything. The look on his face said it all. She sighed heavily hoping that everything would just blow over. She couldn't deal with all of this tonight.

"Can I stay with you?" Ramsey asked choosing to ignore what he had just walked into.

Lexi opened her eyes and stared up at him. She wasn't sure why he was just going to let it go. She probably wouldn't have if she had walked in on that. They hadn't done anything but the emotions were strong between them. "I think you have enough on your plate as it is," she murmured remembering how all the guys were stumbling all over each other.

"I know I just thought it would be nice to get away," he told her taking a step closer to her.

"I wish we could just pick up where we left off," she told him looking up at him her eyes hopeful. But she knew that they couldn't. Too much had happened that they had bottled up.

"Me too," he said glancing around. She could tell he wasn't sure about where to go from here. It was quite clear that he wanted to wipe away the awkwardness of the past couple hours, but that simply wasn't possible. "I know I said that I wouldn't bring up the wedding, so I'm really sorry about all this."

Lexi sighed and nodded her head at him. "Yeah, I know you didn't mean for any of this to happen. And Jack kind of just brought up the wedding to me," she admitted cringing slightly at his sudden awareness.

"He did?"

"Yeah he invited me too."

Ramsey ground his teeth together in frustration. "What an idiot. I can't believe he asked you."

"I think I'm going to go if you still want me to go with you," she mumbled knowing that it was the wrong decision to begin with. She never thought in a million years that she would go, but she was compelled. She didn't know what it was about Jack that made her do this. She just couldn't say no especially not after how sweet he was to her. Completely and totally obliterated he still managed to affect her so much.

"What?" he sputtered stepping forward close to her. "Why would you want to do that? I was just about to apologize. There's no need for you to be there. It was terrible for me to bring it up. It was terrible for Jack to mention it. You shouldn't have to go through that."

"No" she said shaking her head emphatically, "me turning you down was just showing me how much I need to let things go. And I know it's probably stupid, alright? I know that. It's just if you want me to go as your date," she took a deep breath trying not to think about all the reasons that she shouldn't be around Jack or Ramsey for that matter, "then that's what I want to do."

"So you'll go?" he asked his brow crinkled together in confusion. He wasn't sure if he had just won or not. For some reason, it felt like he had lost. She was coming with him, but how much of that was his doing and how much of it was Jack's? He didn't want to think about it.

"Yeah, I think I will."

K.A. Linde