Текст книги "Avoiding Responsibility"
Автор книги: K. A. Linde
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After walking up the stairs, she threw off all of her clothes, and burrowed under the mound of covers on her bed. Her mind was all over the charts, and she didn't know which thing to think about first. Should she be thinking about her boyfriend leaving her or the fact that another man had kissed her…even if it was just on the cheek? It hadn't been sensual, seductive or even lustful at all. It had been friendly. Nothing more and nothing less. Adam was Chyna's boyfriend, and he was just helping her out when she was down.
And she didn't feel guilty.
She had no reason to feel guilty. She had been in situations like that before and always given in. At least this time she had turned away from him. Even if it had been solely friendly, she had kept it at chaste as possible.
Adam wasn't Jack. She didn't have feelings for him. She didn't desire him. She certainly didn't get lost in him. Things were different. She would never be that person again.
He had just been helping her when her boyfriend had deserted her. Speaking of her boyfriend, she wondered where he was at that moment. Had he found an airplane that would take him home or had he bribed someone again to use their plane or take their seat. She wasn't sure what to make of him. He had been unduly cruel. This was a side of him that she had never witnessed.
Yes, he had been under a severe amount of stress and strain regarding the club, but it certainly hadn't been her fault. As much as she wanted to be angry at him, she couldn't bring herself to it. He had left her there all alone, but at least he had a reason. He hadn't just jumped ship. He did still want to be with her, and aside from his lapse in judgment and hiding the fact that he owned strip clubs, she hadn't found anything wrong with him.
They worked well together. She wasn't going to risk their entire relationship on one screw up on his part. She would wait to hear back from him and they could go from there. With those thoughts still filling her mind, she finally drifted off to sleep.
Hours later Lexi was awoken by a vibration emanating from her phone. She reached over to her night stand to silence the sound and plopped her head back down on the pillow. A second later the noise began again. Rubbing her tired eyes, Lexi reached forward once more and retrieved the cell phone. The bright light that flashed when she hit a button made her immediately close her eyes again to shield herself. Then as they adjusted to the screen, she realized she had two text messages.
Clicking on the first message it read, "Everything is fine here. You were right."
A smile crept onto her face. She loved those words. They were some of the best words in the English language. She knew she had been right. All along he had just been freaking out for no reason. In all likelihood, everything had settled down by the time he had arrived back in Hartsfield.
Remembering that there was one more message, she pressed the next button which said, "Sorry I screwed up. I'll make it up to you. Give you that New Year's kiss for real. Forgive me?"
Lexi yawned dramatically at the early hour before typing out a response. "Yes, what's the plan?" she asked before falling back into an easy slumber.
Thanks for all my reviewers: Cupid's Psyche (everyone should go check out her new sequel Effortless), helena33139, RandomBoringStuff, Spunkyorange, Chelsea, Karennn, musicalfishieXD, hayleytibbs, WyldeLoneStar, Kelly Rogala, ssolomon09, jennalizing, and Frozen . by . Sloth.
K.A. Linde
Weeping Willow
I hope the ring you gave to her
Turns her finger green
I hope when you're in bed with her
You think of me
– Kelly Clarkson "Never Again"
Chapter 11: Present
The next morning Lexi awoke to the sun beaming in through her windows. She smiled at the interruption of her slumber. Not that she exactly wanted to be awake just yet, but the weather had been so awful in New York the last month, it was intoxicating seeing the sun. She slowly crawled out of the bed she had slept in…alone, and peered out the window. The view was nothing especially spectacular since they were in the middle of the city, but it was still green. That was another thing that Lexi had been missing a lot of since being in New York, to get to greenery she had to go Central Park.
She crawled out of bed, threw on a pair of sleep shorts and a loose tank top, and mechanically stumbled down the stairs. Walking to the coffee maker in the kitchen, Lexi fiddled with the device until it started dripping out what she was craving. She stared at the machine hoping it would finish quicker, but knowing that if she watched it that it would take longer. She pulled two mugs from the cabinet just as the machine finished and poured the steaming brew to the top of each mug.
"This is the best part about you being back in the house," Ramsey murmured as he staggered bleary-eyed into the kitchen.
Lexi flushed and turned back to the coffee maker. She couldn't acknowledge that kind of comment yet between them. "Here," she said handing him his favorite mug.
"Thanks," he moaned chugging the steaming contents as if it were his life force.
Lexi giggled a little as he sputtered from the heat of the beverage. "Why do you drink it like that every time? You don't even like black coffee."
"If you can drink it that way, I can," he said between sips.
"I'm used to it. I've been drinking it like that for years."
"So give me years," he said wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her against his body.
"Uh…um," she stammered having no reply to that statement.
"Calm down. I'm just playing with you," he said nuzzling her neck as if everything were back to normal. It was a nice feeling. She missed this kind of thing. But she couldn't get caught up in it…not yet.
"I'm calm," she said pulling away from him and taking a sip of the coffee. She was thankful for the distraction.
His smile didn't falter though. He just proceeded to guzzle the remaining contents in his mug and pour himself a refill. "So are you ready for today?" he asked eyeing her carefully.
"Yeah…" she said slowly. "We're going to your…parent's house right?"
Lexi had never been to Ramsey's house. It had been a continual source of contention. She hadn't wanted to go because of the off chance that she might run into Bekah or Jack. And she wasn't certain that he had ever wanted to bring her home. His reputation preceded him especially with his parents. The first time she had been in the same room with them, his father had brought up Ramsey's past discretions.
Not that Ramsey was ashamed of Lexi by any means. He just didn't want to humiliate her in front of his judgmental parents. They didn't approve of him and any girl that he would bring home would only suffer under the same criticism, even someone who was currently studying law at a top university. The lack of family connections on Lexi's part was never brought up, but she knew it was also a problem.
He nodded seeing only slight hesitation in her demeanor. Reassured by the fact that she wasn't freaking out, he continued, "Some kind of formal luncheon. Should be mostly big investors. Nothing to worry about."
Lexi was pretty sure that Ramsey was the only person that didn't bat an eye at the prospect of being surrounded by a sea of "big investors." She wasn't exactly sure what these people would look like, but if they were anything like his father then she was already intimidated. She knew how to handle wealthy people, but she wasn't so sure that she knew how to handle these kind of people.
"Right…big investors…no biggy," she said shrugging her shoulders in an attempt to mirror his indifference.
He chuckled at her obvious discomfort. "You'll be fine." Lexi poured the remaining contents of her drink down her throat to keep from responding
"Yep," she said brushing past him.
"Hey, are you sure you're ready for this?" he asked a little tentatively. She knew he wasn't talking about dealing with big investors now. He was talking about Jack and Bekah. The thought made her skin crawl. The last thing she wanted to do was deal with them together, but she couldn't help it now.
She had woken this morning feeling refreshed and prepared for the events of the upcoming week. Yes, things hadn't exactly gone as planned since she had arrive in Atlanta, but things rarely did. She knew people were hiding things from her and it drove her crazy. However, this didn't make them any more willing to share information with her. Wasting time wondering wasn't going to help her either. Sleep had given her some perspective on the situation and she was ready to push forward.
"I wouldn't be here if I wasn't ready," she told him before turning and walking back up the stairs to change.
Ramsey and Lexi arrived at his parent's house a short while later. She stared up at the giant edifice more surprised at the enormous house than she thought she was going to be. After all she had been expecting something spectacular…and they had delivered.
"This way," Ramsey said directing her to the side of the house. "You don't want to go through the front," he warned.
"I don't?" Lexi asked raising an eye questioningly.
"Not unless you one, want to be bombarded with a bunch of questions or two, want to run into a sea of bridesmaids."
Lexi smirked. "Good plan. Around the back," she said scampering after him.
The back yard was several acres at least. The perfectly cut lawn ended at a clear blue lake, and from across the great distance she could see a hole from the club golf course. An overgrowth of beautiful trees separated their lawn from the surrounding houses giving them the privacy that they had paid for.
As Lexi looked across the expanse, she immediately landed on Jack. Their eyes met across the lawn, and Lexi couldn't help herself she smiled. She could tell even from this distance that he had cleaned up. His suit was pressed, beard shaven, and hair cut short once again. He looked every bit a part of the family already.
When she had seen him the day before, he had been a mess. Disheveled, uncouth, and haphazard were the only way she had been able to describe him. Yes, he was her Jack. He still made her catch her breath at the sight of him, but somehow it had been different. While he looked more like the Jack she had first gotten to know in that quaint coffee shop all those years ago, something about him had just been downtrodden.
She knew now of course that he looked that way because he had been second guessing himself. Could the man who refused to commit, who hated the idea of marriage, actually go through with his plan? She hadn't thought it possible, and apparently he hadn't either. Lexi still had her doubts.
For one, she hadn't told Bekah about their erm…affair in the hallway. The tattered dress was stuffed in the bottom of her closet somewhere, proof of their indecent night together. She wasn't exactly proud of herself for that night. After all those times she had told herself that no matter what, she was not going to give into him. She had given into him before and no longer was that going to be the case. Then she had let everything slip through her fingertips…everything.
Before this ridiculous week, she could count the number of times she had seen Jack since that night on her hands. She had avoided him and pushed him out of her mind. Out of sight, out of mind had been the easiest scenario. Luckily, Ramsey had been there through it all.
As Ramsey popped into her mind, she realized guiltily that he was still standing next to her. She gulped loudly before reaching up and tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. The smile Ramsey sent her way was adorable. He knew what she was thinking…or at least he knew she was nervous. She silently praised the lord that he didn't actually know what she was thinking, because otherwise he wouldn't be smiling at her.
"Come on," he said motioning her forward.
She took a deep breath and followed him across the lawn. This was the moment of truth. As they drew closer, she felt Ramsey reach out tentatively for her hand. Despite her feelings on the matter, she allowed her fingers to intertwine with his. His presence calmed her nerves some, and she held her head a little higher.
"Ahhh Ramsey, good to see you could make it," Ramsey's father said as they approached.
Ramsey's smile was forced. "Of course. How could I miss any of the events planned for my baby sister?" he asked the words falling out of his mouth dripping with sarcasm. Before his father had a chance to respond, Ramsey added, "And you remember Lexi, yes?"
Lexi smiled brightly at the imposing man standing before her. He was at least as tall as Ramsey if not an inch taller. He had a hard set face with deep set wrinkles as if he had been frowning his entire life. His belly had long since bulged over his waist line, and the tailored suit did nothing to hide his porpoise figure. His blonde hair was sprinkled with salt and pepper gray, and his own forced smile was anything but kind. In fact, he blatantly stared at Lexi as if he should know her from somewhere, but somehow he found her too insignificant to remember.
"Oh yes, Lexi," he drawled after a moment. "Pleasure to see you again I'm sure."
The statement sounded like a rehearsed line and Lexi tried not to take offense to the fact that they had been introduced several times previously. "You too sir," she piped up.
"Speaking of your sister, where the hell is she?" Ramsey's father growled his attention already lost.
"I think she went inside for some lemonade, dear. Don't you remember?" his wife asked him. Her petite stature looked almost comical next to the man. Despite her age, she couldn't have been larger than a size four, and she probably would have been offended with the statement. Her blonde hair was perfectly straight with soft curls at the ends, and her face had seen its fair share of surgeons…and that wasn't the only thing that had seen surgeons. Lexi glanced away immediately feeling her cheeks burn at the thought.
"If I bloody remembered, would I have asked?" he bellowed down to the woman.
"I'll go check on her," the woman replied unaffected by his belligerence.
"Tell her to hurry up. It is not every day my little girl gets married. She needs to be more attentive to these types of affairs."
"Yes dear," she drawled waltzing away from the group.
The awkward silence that followed was unlike anything Lexi had stood through. She wasn't sure what was worse. Ramsey's father was staring daggers at both Ramsey and the back entrance to the house. It was as if he couldn't determine who to be more angry at for wasting his time…or making him stand outside in the blistering August heat in a navy suit. Ramsey was trying not to notice his father's anger while at the same time avoiding Jack's entire existence. Jack was trying not to look at Ramsey as well while still sneak glances at Lexi. But he was careful also not to catch the attention of his father-in-law-to-be.
Lexi just felt her hand clamming up as Ramsey held it firmly in his. The sun was making her sweat and she was concerned that with the increased tension between her company this would make her body go into overdrive. She felt a bead of sweat run down her back and she sighed in protest. Luckily, she had been smart enough to wear something cotton so that it wouldn't show.
"Ramsey," his father barked breaking everyone's attention. "Go check on your goddamn sister." Ramsey opened his mouth to object, but the look of pure venom that he shot his son was unlike anything Lexi had ever seen. Finding it a battle not worth fighting, Ramsey nodded. He gingerly released her hand, sighing discontentedly as it if was the last thing he wanted to do, and made his way to the house.
Lexi was just glad that he hadn't drug her with him. The last thing she wanted to do was spend time with Bekah.
"Will you excuse us for a moment?" Jack asked Ramsey's father.
"Just be back before the women return. I'm not going to stand their idle chatter alone," he said clapping Jack on the back forcefully. Jack tried hard not to stumble forward a step, but he couldn't help but stutter a bit with the force of the blow.
"Lexi," Jack said snatching her up by the elbow and directing her away from the intimidating man.
As soon as she was out of arms reach from him, she jerked her elbow out of Jack's grasp. "Don't do that," she muttered.
"Sorry. I had to fucking get away from there," he responded.
"Well we're away now," she said stopping mid-step. She had no reason to be alone with him. Not that they were necessarily alone. They were in the middle of the massive backyard of Ramsey and Bekah's childhood. Still the fact that he was the only person within proper speaking distance didn't do anything to calm her roiling stomach. Just the fact that he had touched her had made her head spin. This wasn't something she had planned for at this event. In fact, she had been surprised to find that so few people were there just yet. They must have been some of the first people to arrive.
"Just walk with me a bit," Jack said resting his hand gently on the small of her back and urging her word.
"I…I can't," she muttered turning away from him. She hadn't looked him directly in the face since reaching them on the lawn. Across the lawn it had been a different story. They had a large expanse between them and it was safe for her to look at him. But up this close, it was a different story. She never trusted herself around Jack, and had gone at great lengths to keep it from ever happening again.
"I don't bite."
Lexi coughed a bit uncontrollably.
"Okay fine, I do…just a bit," he muttered huskily.
"Stop it Jack," she warned him taking another deep breath.
"You're right. I'm sorry. Can we just keep walking?" he pleaded.
Against her better judgment, Lexi turned her face up towards him and looked at him fully for the first time. He looked way better than the last time she had seen him when he had turned up at Ramsey's apartment. His hair had been cut short and styled in a way that made him look younger and more professional. The short strands stood on end instead of falling haphazardly into his eyes. She could remember pushing the long pieces out of his eyes and him kissing her tenderly just as she pulled her hand away. She pushed that memory of her mind and focused her eyes elsewhere.
He had clearly shaved only a few hours ago, because his typical stubble was completely wiped from his face. She could remember the scruffy feel of his beard running against her stomach as he kissed a trail lower. Her breathing quicken as she unsuccessfully tried to shove the memories out of her misbehaving mind. He licked his perfect lips and more memories flooded her conscious: their first kiss on top of a Ferris wheel, her fingers teasingly trailing against his pouty lips before he captured her own, the way he kissed every part of her body as if he worshipped it.
Now she could feel other parts of her body reacting to her memories. Warmth spread throughout her lower half, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. As her eyes finally moved upwards to his beautiful blue eyes, the brilliance of which she could never perfectly remember, she had a feeling he knew exactly where her thoughts were.
The longer they stood rooted in that spot, the more crystal clear his eyes became. She knew what that meant. His desire for her was building up inside of him, and despite where they were he couldn't keep the hungry look from his eyes.
"Lexi please," he growled hungrily begging her to move from the spot, "we need to keep walking." His voice was desperate and pained from restraint. She was amazed by how easily his desire flared up when in her presence. She knew that she had been unconstrained around him, but sometimes she forgot when she was away from him for so long that he acted in the same fashion.
Taking a deep breath to calm her pounding heart, she nodded. "Yes."
"Yes," he agreed his eyes dropping to her lips.
"Let's walk Jack," she said taking that first hesitant step in a different direction.
She saw him visibly deflate from the exertion he had put into staying away from her. His hand moved to her lower back once again as he directed her towards a pathway. She wasn't sure why she was allowing him to steer her in a direction not only far away from the rest of the guests, but also to what appeared to be a portion of the land secluded by massive trees. Just as she was about to say something to him about how inappropriate their seclusion from the rest of the party was, he stopped in front of a large weeping willow. Pulling back a few of the extended limbs, he revealed a wooden bench in the shade of the branches.
"Come on," he said nodding his head towards the bench.
Speechless, Lexi ducked into the private enclosure that the tree had formed after years of life. "How…how did you know about this?" she finally asked taking a seat. She didn't really want an answer. Anything that he said would ultimately involve Bekah, and that wasn't something she particularly wanted to discuss at this moment.
For the first time in a while, she felt utterly and completely alone with Jack. It felt strangely familiar and also eerily different. He let the branches swing closed, the light now only coming in at uneven intervals through the leaves. The temperature was cooler as if it was dusk, and some of the humidity had dissipated in the shaded enclosure. Jack took the seat next to her, and breathed out a sigh of relief. He adjusted his tie allowing himself the freedom of being out of the spotlight, and just sat there next to her without a word not even answering her question.
She remembered what she thought was going to be her final farewell to Jack. She had been cruel, but not anymore than he had been with her. He had proposed to Bekah after everything that had happened between them that week. Her words were nothing in comparison. She wouldn't feel bad for them. She had meant every word, and she knew that she was still angry. She hadn't forgiven him. And she had wanted him out of her life.
Yet here she was, sitting under a weeping willow with him in complete silence. To anyone else this would have been the strangest thing in the world. Why would you run off with the groom at his own luncheon?
Yeah, she didn't think it made much sense either. But being in Jack's presence didn't feel weird or strange. She was angry with him for sure, but it still felt completely natural to be alone with him.
"Don't you think we should get back?" Lexi asked tugging on a long brown curl and letting it bounce back into place. She did this a few more times before pushing it behind her ear.
Jack shrugged noncommittally and looked into her large brown eyes. "You look beautiful."
"Jack," she said quietly into the dim lighting.
"I know," he told her not letting her add anything else. "I love the way you say my name."
"Funny, I hate the way you say my name," she quipped back quickly hoping to put some much needed distance between them.
"Don't lie, Lex. You're bad at it," he told her nonchalantly leaning backwards and putting his arms across the back of the bench.
"Jack don't call me that," she reminded him feeling the closeness of his arm to her back. She inched forward just a bit to avoid touching him.
He shrugged again as if he was never going to break that habit. He figured she liked it anyway, and he wasn't going to stop now after seven years of the same nickname. "I like the way you look at me."
Lexi sighed heavily. "Can we not?"
"We don't have to," he acknowledged, "but I do love how short of breath you get."
"Don't use that word so freely either," Lexi commanded.
Jack turned abruptly in his seat and stared directly into her eyes. Lexi sat motionless as he seemed to examine every pore on her face. She couldn't help but prove him right. As his gaze intensified, her breathing quickened. She could feel her body misbehaving again, and she tried to stifle the rising desire threatening to overtake her senses.
"You smell delicious," he muttered his free hand reaching up and seductively running his fingers through her long hair. Her breath caught at the slight touch to her ear as he drug the silky strands into their rightful place.
"Wh…wh…what are you a vampire now?" she asked trying to lighten the mood.
He cracked a smile at the comment. "I don't sparkle in the daylight, if that's what you mean."
Lexi giggled reflexively and he took the opportunity to move in even closer to her. She took a sharp breathe when she realized how close he was. "Oh God…" she murmured.
"That's something I've heard before," he said smirking.
"No," she told him scooting over an inch into the metal bar at the end of the bench. She groaned at his nearness. "You smell like sex."
Jack physically laughed out loud at her statement. "I haven't had any."
"So you're what…horny? Is this what this is about?" she asked angrily.
"What? No. I…I don't know. I hadn't planned this," he said careful not to move to further irritate her.
"Oh Jack…why did I just tell you that you smell like sex?" Lexi asked burying her face in her hands in horror.
"Maybe it's my cologne?" he asked playfully.
"Well obviously it's your cologne, but what's wrong with me? I'm not even supposed to be here with you," Lexi said standing abruptly. "I'm so pissed at you I can't even function."
"What?" he asked standing with her. "You were just telling me I smell like sex and now you're pissed at me?"
"Yes."
"Lex, that doesn't make any sense."
"Stop calling me that," she cried turning around to face him. "Lexi. Lexi. Alexa. Whatever you want to call me…just not that alright?"
"Whatever I want to call you?" he asked moving forward a step closer to her.
"Jack you're infuriating."
"I know," he agreed taking another step closer.
"You are getting married in less than a week," she reminded him.
"I know."
"You will be legally bound to another woman in less than a week."
"I know."
"Then why are you doing this?" she asked as he stopped in front of her.
"I still have a week," he said shrugging.
Lexi's mouth dropped. "You're joking.
"I am." The way he said the words was even more confusing. She couldn't tell if he was saying he was as if he was really joking or if it was more of a question. She honestly didn't want to ask though. She had no idea what kind of reaction that would elicit from him.
"You should really stop this," he told her gesturing to her whole self.
"Stop what exactly?" she demanded.
"Getting all fired up," he said his eyes trailing the length of her body.
"Well then stop acting like an idiot," she commanded him.
"I just mean that you are sooo hot when you get feisty," he reminded her.
Lexi shook her head in disbelief and turned to leave. Jack grabbed her wrist and tugged her backwards. She stumbled backwards into him. "Hey I'm just kidding with you," he said his arms circling her waist to steady her balance.
She wasn't sure if she could believe him. But suddenly her mind wasn't thinking properly. When she had fallen against him, her body had landed flush against his chest. Pressed against his heated body, she held onto his shoulders as she straightened herself. Her head tilted upwards and she realized her lips were only inches from his own.
Her mind went blank. Everything she had been doing or thinking about before that moment was gone. It was as if she was standing on the beach seeing him like a mirage. She felt like he was her desert oasis and she was dying for thirst at the feel of his arms around her miniscule waist.
He seemed to realize her nearness at the same time. They both stiffened, too scared to move in any direction and unsure as to what result moving would bring. Their eyes locked onto each other. Lexi watched his travel to her lips and back up. Then slowly once more when he realized she was going to allow him to look where he shouldn't. She felt as if she were watching his eyes zone in on her now dry lips from someone else's body.
Jack's head leaned forward and he rested his forehead against her own. She could feel the waves of exertion and desire coming off of him as he struggled to keep it together. "Lexi, I can't," he said at the same time she muttered, "We shouldn't."
"Jaaaaaack," they heard someone yell not too far off.
Lexi sighed realizing that they had to return to reality, and in reality they didn't do this. She was careful to move so as not to encourage him further. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and crushed her body to him. He pulled her in closer and breathed in her familiar scent.
"It's all going to be okay right Lex?" he whispered into her ear begging for reassurance.
He was asking for something she couldn't give. He was making a terrible mistake, and she of all people knew what a mistake it truly was. She could not reassure him that everything he was doing was going to be fine. In fact, she thought it would fall apart at the first sign of trouble. If anything, this was actually the second sign of trouble. They had done worse in the past.
"I don't know Jack," she muttered.
He sighed heavily. "That's what I'm afraid of."
Just then the branches swung backwards and light flooded in on their intimate moment. The two jumped back as if they had been burned. The action made them look even more guilty than being found alone in a weeping willow together. Lexi's cheeks flamed as her eyes shot over to the entrance to the tree.
"Ramsey," she muttered forlornly her stomach dropping out of her body.
K.A. Linde
