Текст книги "Avoiding Responsibility"

Автор книги: K. A. Linde

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Текущая страница: 18 (всего у книги 32 страниц)

Karaoke and Cigarettes

I know he loved you a long time ago

I ain't jealous of you

Just thought you should know

You were never good enough for him

Or anything like me

So you might as well sit back cause I ain't

trying to show maturity

– Taylor Swift "Permanent Marker"

Chapter 14: March Four Months Earlier

Lexi was supremely uncertain about the situation at hand. Parker followed her and Ramsey into the beachside club where their planned outings was held. The place was in every way a tourist haven. The walls were covered in beachy slogans, coconut bras, grass skirts, and offers of margaritas, daiquiris, and other tempting beverages. The staff wore bathing suits or other sun-worn, thin clothing that could have come straight out of a surf shop. Music blasted from stereos as mobs danced on a make-shift dance floor. A side room was hosting karaoke where drunken college girls were singing their hearts out to Britney Spears.

The uncertainty arose from several places. One, she wasn't sure Ramsey's relationship with Parker. How could he know someone like her and never bring her up? It's not like they had been shy about their past. She had opened up about Jack. She had told him what had happened between them. He may not know how strong the feelings were or what happened right under Bekah and his nose, but he knew enough about her past. He could put the pieces together pretty easily.

This bought up another big concern – the fact that he had openly admitted to her that he's never had a girlfriend…that he'd never been in love. Not that she was claiming he was a liar. She didn't even want to cross that bridge. But the look Parker had given him was beyond friendship. The shock in Ramsey's face was more than an old friend found at the beach. Lexi had a thousand explanations, but she hated contemplating a single one. The girl could be nothing more than an old family friend…it was possible. But then why did her gut tell her otherwise?

She knew he had been somewhat of a Casanova before being with her. This made her jaw clench further. What if this girl was one of his conquests? What if she had been Lexi at one point in time – whisked off to a beach for a good time with friends and an endless supply of sex?

No. Lexi shuddered. He had told her he loved her. That much she was certain of. She remembered his blanket statement all those months ago. He had never been in love. And though this girl may or may not be a notch in his belt, it wasn't more than that. She had to believe him…trust him.

She took a deep breath trying to slow down all of the thoughts swirling around in her head. She was having a hard time. Even if this girl wasn't someone he had slept with, how many others were there? Would she ever meet them? Had she already met them? She gagged a little as her mind drifted to Lola. She wasn't getting anywhere with that train of thought and really it was hypocritical to even go down that route. She had gone home with her fair share of guys. One was marrying his sister. He had to encounter him every day knowing what he had meant to her. She couldn't be angry…merely curious.

And she was incredibly curious about Parker. Especially curious as to why they looked so much alike. Sure the more she was around her the less the resemblance was pronounced. But it was still there. How could Ramsey know someone who looked so similar to her and never mention it? In fact, no one had mentioned it before. Surely someone had to have noticed that they looked alike.

"Woahhhhh, small world," Brad called as soon as the trio emerged into the karaoke room. He picked Parker up and swung her in a big circle. "Parker baby you've never looked so good." He shot her a wink as soon as he set her on her feet.

Jason was there next giving the girl a big hug. "It's good to see you, dollface. You're lookin' pretty tan. Been hittin' the beaches?"

Lexi frowned wondering if he was making fun of Parker. She was so pale in comparison to Lexi it was unimaginable that anyone could call her complexion tan. Lexi couldn't get that pale if she stayed out of the sun for a year.

But Parker just giggled and nodded her head. "Work has me busy, but I hit the beach when I can."

"Parker?" a girl squealed behind them. Just then Jessie rushed past Lexi and hurtled herself at Parker nearly tackling her. "I thought you were doing residency. How did Ramsey get you down here to surprise us all? I haven't heard from you in forever. I thought you'd fallen off the face of the planet!"

Parker squeezed the girl in her arms and released her. "I'm doing my residency here…Ramsey didn't do anything," she said glancing up into his green eyes hesitantly. Lexi didn't understand the look that passed between them, and she filed that one away as just another question she would ask later. So far they looked harmless enough so there was no reason to get worked up.

"Oh I didn't realize you were doing your residency here," Jessie cried again her face breaking into an even bigger smile. "If I'd known we would have come to visit you."

Parker shrugged. "Well I did kind of fall of the face of the planet while finishing med school. Didn't really announce to everyone that I was here." Another looked passed between Parker and Ramsey. "But hey I'm all finished at the end of the semester," she said her face brightening.

"Oh my God," Jessie shrieked. "Tell me you're coming home."

Parker's smile was brilliant. "I'm coming home."

Everyone around them suddenly went into motion. Congratulations were yelled. Everyone pulled her in for hugs. Suddenly a round of shots appeared before them in early celebration of Parker's return. Lexi suddenly felt like it was a long time ago when Ramsey had told her that he loved her. She felt very out of place in this situation. She had friends back home and from college, but nothing quite like this. She couldn't think of a single person outside of Chyna who would be this excited for her return. All these people it seemed had known each other their whole lives. Who was she – an outsider – to intrude on their moment?

Just as she was about to turn to give them all some time together, Ramsey was there. He held out a shot glass full of clear liquid. Leaning in close so no one else could hear he murmured, "I believe a toast is in order."

She arched an eyebrow. "And what are we toasting?"

"A toast to us," he said softly.

Lexi's smile instantly returned as she reveled in his momentary display of affection. She took the shot and let the alcohol sooth the nerves making her overreact to the situation. She was sure there was perfectly reasonable explanation for Parker's absence from all conversations. She might actually not be all that important, or he just didn't think about her.

She had plenty of old friends that he didn't know about. The only one that was threatening in any way he had knowledge of so clearly it was a non-issue. She didn't want to stress anything tonight. Not after what had happened earlier between them. She didn't want to constantly bring her baggage and insecurities into the relationship. Ramsey had given her no reason to doubt him in any way. The only problems she had were her own...and she could be the only one to deal with them.

Taking a deep breath, Lexi pushed aside all of her pride and reluctance. She couldn't be hindered by it any longer. If she was really ready to give her heart away, she needed this. A smile broke across her face as she spoke, "Parker seems nice. How do you know her? From back home right?"

Ramsey nodded taking a beer that Jason handed him. "Yeah, she's Bekah's year. Been a family friend since I was yea high," he told her motioning to a toddler's height.

"So you've known her a really long time then. That's cool," she said accepting a drink that was handed to her. She took a sip to steady herself before continuing. "Did she graduate with Bekah?" she asked chewing on her bottom lip to keep from fiddling with her hair.

"High school?" he asked but didn't let her continue. "She was supposed to, but she graduated a year early."

Lexi raised her eyebrows. "Smarty," she chirped. "And she's a doctor now? She said something about residency."

"Doctor," he confirmed, "Finishing two years early."

Lexi could detect the admiration in his voice, but refrained from commenting on it. The feat was pretty incredible regardless. "Wow, that's impressive."

"She's always wanted to do a lot with her life," he told her taking another swig of his beer.

"I know what that is like," Lexi said tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. With a million other questions swirling around in her head, she asked, "So did you know she was here?" She was pretty certain after seeing his shocked face that he hadn't a clue, but she wanted to know anyway.

"No, no, no. I didn't have any idea where she was." Lexi's stomach loosened more "Or that she was coming home anytime soon."

"Well that's good then," she said trying to be reassuring, but unsure if she was successful or even needed to be.

"It should be...interesting," he intoned taking another big gulp.

Lexi wanted to ask interesting how, but suddenly she was swept up by Jason and Brad. She was then deposited on the karaoke stage next to Jessie and another of Ramsey's friends, Katie. "Hey hey hey," she called pushing Jason back, "no karaoke for me. I'm not drunk enough for this."

"What you can't sing doll?" he asked pushing her backwards.

"I can sing just fine," Lexi said bucking against him to try to get off stage. "I just don't sing karaoke unless I'm drunk."

"Well tonight's your night," he called out picking her up and placing her in front of a microphone.

"Jason, I'm warning you. I'll get you back for this!"

He just smiled up at her as if he were oblivious to her discomfort. Lexi cast her eyes up to the screen. Lexi and Katie groaned as the guy's selection appeared before them.

"How did we get into this?" she asked the two girls next to her as the first few notes to It's Raining Men blasted through the speakers.

Jessie shrugged never breaking from her cool demeanor towards Lexi. However, to Lexi's relief it was clear that Jessie was more comfortable on the stage than either Lexi or Katie. She snatched a microphone and began flirtatiously calling out the introduction. The crowd before them cheered uproariously as Jessie provocatively engaged the audience swinging her long fire red hair around. Seeing all eyes trained to Jessie shimmying and egging on the crowd, Lexi loosened up and leaned into the microphone she was sharing with Katie. The girl looked back at Lexi thankfully, and sang along to the tune to the best of her ability.

Lexi's heart was beating rapidly as she heard her voice spill through the speakers. Lexi never had stage fright when performing gymnastics before an audience ten times the size of the small karaoke club, but it was something about singing that made her clam up. She knew she didn't have a bad voice per se, but she definitely wasn't a singer.

As Jessie kept the crowd energized, Lexi found it more and more clear that her fear of singing in front of crowds didn't matter. Everyone else in the bar was incredibly drunk, and Jessie's voice carried much louder over the speakers than Lexi's. By the time the trio had hit the second verse, all three were belting out the words that appeared before them. Lexi wasn't adventurous enough to move away from her microphone like Jessie who took over the stage with her presence, but she held her own through the remainder of the song.

At the end, they all threw their hands up in the air and took a large swooping bow. Though Lexi's nerves had briefly abated, the whooping crowd at the end of the song brought her back to reality. She quickly covered her face with her hands and shook her head back and forth in embarrassment at what she had just done. Katie seemed to agree with her and swiftly darted off stage and back into Brad's waiting arms. Jessie took a deep bow before chasing after Lexi.

"Hey girlie, restroom," she said latching onto Lexi's elbow and edging her away from the group. Lexi was a bit surprised that Jessie would take her and not Katie since Jessie had always had always been standoffish around her. It didn't help that their first interaction had resulted in Ramsey having to tell Lexi how he had slept with his prom date in front of everyone at a bonfire. Lexi still wasn't too thrilled with her for that one. She kind of thought it was rude to bring up someone's history like that and throw it in their face. She would hate is someone did that to her. She couldn't even begin to imagine the kind of damage that could do.

But Lexi went freely, hoping that this might be different. Her eyes met Ramsey's as she was dragged away from him. He smiled brightly at her and nodded his head as if to say that he had enjoyed her performance. She would get him back if he had had any part in her humiliation.

Ducking around a drunken couple, the girls pushed their way through the crowd and to the bathroom. Lexi was relieved to see that there actually wasn't a line. That was unheard of in New York bars. "You were great up there," Lexi told her standing next to the battered aluminum sink. She meant the statement. The girl had been pretty phenomenal. If it helped her cause of getting Jessie to ease up around her, the compliments would flow freely all night.

"Thanks," she chimed stepping out of the bathroom and reaching into her purse. "Singing is my calling."

"I can see that," Lexi told her stepping out of the way of another girl who was vying for mirror room in the cramped space. Jessie eyed her carefully before pulling out a tiny silver bottle. Lexi looked it over suspiciously unsure of the contents that lay within or why she even had it with her. "What's that?"

"Patron," Jessie said shrugging. Without further ado, she tipped her head back and poured a shots worth of tequila into her mouth.

"You flasked in Patron?" Lexi asked in surprise. The girl clearly had more money than she knew what to do with yet she was bringing in a flask to a bar. This was something she hadn't experienced since college when they used to sneak in bottles to the football games. It had been thrilling at the time. They were young and anxious to drink at ever opportunity in which they weren't allowed. But here in this environment, she didn't think it made sense.

Jessie shrugged again. "Want some?" she asked shoving the bottle into Lexi's hands.

Lexi fumbled with it for a second certain she was going to drop it and spill all of the precious liquid on the floor. Then she regained her composure, held the bottle more firmly in her hands, then tipped the opening up to her lips. The sip she took was much smaller than Jessie's but it burned the entire way down, and she coughed and sputtered without a lime or chaser to ease the pain.

"Uh thanks," Lexi said passing the bottle back.

Jessie chuckled under her breath before taking another sip from the bottle. "So you and Ramsey huh?" she asked leaning back against the sink and nudging the other girl out of the way. The girl looked pissed as she shoved past Lexi for the exit.

"Yep," Lexi said not sure how else to respond or if Jessie wanted some more explanation.

"Good thing you met Parker then," she said shrugging as she twirled the top to the flask between her fingers.

Lexi swallowed hard. "Why is that?" Lexi asked curiously eyeing Jessie carefully.

Jessie stared at her blankly. "What do you mean why is that?" she asked screwing the cap back on the bottle, moving in front of the mirror, and looking her face over for imperfections. She pulled out a tube of cherry red lip gloss and coated her mouth with the stuff.

"I just don't know why it would be a good thing per se," Lexi said being purposefully dense. Jessie had known Parker for a long time. She wasn't sure if that was as long as Ramsey had known her, but it was possible. Lexi didn't know how long Jessie had been friends with Ramsey but she suspected it had been for quite sometime. Thus, if Jessie thought it was probably a good thing that she met Parker, then it was.

"Her and Ramsey go way back," she said puckering her lips.

"I garnered that much," Lexi responded stepping out of the way of another girl badgering her for room in the confided space. "But is there something I should know?" Lexi asked pressing her luck.

"Only whatever Ramsey told you I'm sure," Jessie said running her fingertips through her wild red hair in an attempt to tame it. "Anyway," she began, "I really need a smoke."

Lexi gulped wanting to know more about what Jessie clearly had some knowledge about. She knew that she should just ask Ramsey about it, and she would. She promised herself that she would ask him more about her once they were alone, but right now Jessie was providing her with an alternative. She figured she would be stupid not to take it. "I'll go with you," Lexi sputtered quickly before Jessie could reach the door.

"Do you smoke?" Jessie asked her incredulously.

"Uh...no...well casually," Lexi lied through her teeth. She pretty much detested the habit, but she had begun to get used to it since being in New York.

"Really? I'd never have pinned ya for it," she muttered raising her eyebrows in surprise. She seemed not to easily be surprised.

Lexi gave her a weak smile and followed her out of the bathroom. Her eyes instantly moved back to where Ramsey was standing against the bar surrounded by his friends. Parker stood at his side, her head threw back in laughter, and her hand unconsciously resting on his forearm to steady herself. When she righted herself, Ramsey's own smile was locked onto her face as they share another private joke. Parker seemed to laugh hysterically at Ramsey once again, and his hand slipped to her back to hold them both steady. Lexi gulped down a lump forming in her throat.

"Cute aren't they?" Jessie whispered at her side.

"Uh...what?" Lexi asked forgetting that Jessie had been on her side.

"They're just cute," Jessie said shrugging as if her statement hadn't made a huge impact on Lexi. "I've always thought so."

"Oh." Lexi couldn't think of anything else to say. As she looked at Ramsey and Parker together she had to admit that they did look cute together. She wasn't sure if it was because Parker looked kind of like her or if it was just the chemistry that came with knowing for someone for so long. For some reason, she wondered if this is what people saw when looking at her and Jack.

"Come on," Jessie said tugging her towards the deck which overlooked the ocean.

Lexi let herself be dragged away as she stayed lost in thought. The last thing she wanted to do was overreact. She just had to reminder herself that it was perfectly possible for Ramsey and Parker to have a platonic relationship which is what brought them together. Before she had a chance to think on it further, Jessie slapped a cigarette in her hand. "Here ya go."

"Uh thanks," Lexi said reluctantly. She had never smoked a day in her life. Just when Jessie went up to light it for her, Lexi's phone buzzed in her purse at her hip.

"Hold on," she said handing back the cigarette. Jessie shrugged and lit her own. Lexi dug into the bag, retrieved the phone, and pressed it to her ear. "Hello."

"Lexi..." Chyna blubbered through the other end of the line. Instantly Lexi was on edge. Chyna never ever called her Lexi. From the first time they had met, she had always been Alexa to Chyna. Just hearing her name come out of Chyna's mouth sounded odd. Not to mention the fact that it seemed Chyna had been crying rather hysterically actually.

"Chyna are you okay?" she asked immediately stepping out away from Jessie to a more private spot.

"No, oh my God, no I'm not," she cried falling into another fit of tears.

"What happened? Chyna calm down. It'll be okay. Just tell me what happened," she said reassuringly.

"I don't know. I just...I don't know where to begin."

"Just start wherever C. Tell me from the beginning. Are you safe? Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you? Do I need to call someone to come get you?" Lexi asked nearing hysterics herself. She was terrified for her friend.

"No no, I'm not hurt...not physically. It's just...Adam. Alexa, it's Adam," she whispered into the phone as if it were physically painful to mutter the words.

"Adam?" Lexi asked anxiously. "Is he alright? Did something happen?" Lexi stomach was in knots. She was pretty terrified of what she was about to hear. Her friend had been so happy for the past couple months since Adam had entered her life. If anything happened to him, or if anything happened to them, she wasn't sure how Chyna would ever recover. She never wanted this to happen and yet she had feared that it would.

"Oh, God we got into a horrible argument. My chest hurts unlike anything I've ever imagined," Chyna whispered her voice pained.

"I'm so sorry. Did you guys break up?" Lexi hated asking the question.

"I don't know. I just...I don't know," she moaned dreadfully.

"Maybe it was just a misunderstanding. Tell me what happened," she told her hoping with all she had that it wasn't a break up.

Chyna sniffled a few times into the phone before continuing. "Adam's brother, John, lives in the city, but he's a businessman who travels all over the world for much of the year. So I'd never met him." Lexi wasn't sure what this had to do with anything, but let her continue without interrupting. "Well he was in town for the weekend so Adam wanted to introduce me to him. I thought it was a big step." She took a second to sniffle a few more times before starting up again.

"We went out and had a few drinks. He turned out to be very similar to Adam except exceptionally charming. I mean...not that Adam isn't charming, but..."

"No I get it," Lexi told her.

"Anyway John knew the right thing to say about everything, and by the end of the night he had me eating out of his hands."

"Oh Chyna you didn't...do anything with him did you?" Lexi asked terrified of the answer.

"What?" she snapped. "No! I wouldn't do that to Adam. That's the point. John seems to get whatever he wants, and it soon became apparent that I was what he wanted. Adam refused to see it. He loves his brother so much that he was blind to him...blind to his arrogance and fucking stupidity.

"Tonight Adam left us alone for just a short period of time. John was smooth, but it wasn't anything I hadn't seen before. Before Adam, I would have gone for him any day of the week." Lexi figured that went without saying. "Anyway, he had his hands all over me, and when I turned him down he got furious. When I told Adam about it, he just wouldn't believe me. He said I was being a drama queen and I had probably just misinterpreted what had gone on.

"But I didn't misinterpret anything! We got in a terrible argument about it. He wouldn't believe anything I said," she cried hearing a fresh wave of tears coming on. "We just stood there yelling at each other until he got so angry he just stormed out on me."

Lexi held her breath hoping there was more. This didn't sound too uplifting. When she realized that Chyna was finished with her story, she spoke up, "I'm so sorry. I think you'll just need to give him some time, then it'll work out. He really cares for you. I know he does. He's going to want to work things out. I don't know his brother or anything, but the way you talk about him makes it seem that Adam probably idealizes him if I had to guess. Once he sees how much of an idiot he was, he'll come around."

"You think so?" Chyna asked hope in her voice for the first time since Lexi had answered the phone.

"Yeah I do," Lexi told her. She didn't want to give her false hope. She certainly wasn't sure that Adam would come around. She had never seen Chyna in a functional relationship. Her entire affair with Adam was new to everyone. But her friend had been happier with Adam than she had ever seen her, and she had to believe that counted for something. That one hiccup wouldn't ruin everything for them. They could get through this.

"Alexa I still don't know. I don't know how to handle any of this. I wish you were here. I need you," she groaned.

"I can be home if you need me. You know I'll always be here for you," Lexi told her soothingly.

"You'd end your vacation early for me?" she asked her voice in awe. "I know you don't get to see him all that often."

"You're my best friend," Lexi told her as if that solved everything. "Let me talk to him and I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks...I'm so sorry. I hate taking you away," she said the sniffles coming back.

"No need to be sorry. You had no idea this was going to happen. Hopefully I'll be with you soon girl," Lexi said saying good-bye and hanging up.

"Everything alright?" Jessie asked stamping out a cigarette and coming up behind Lexi.

Lexi shook her head. "My friend is having some guy trouble. I need to go find Ramsey." Lexi pushed her way back through the crowd until she reached Ramsey's side again. The first thing that she noted was that Parker was absent from the group. But she couldn't worry about that right now.

Ramsey could tell something was off as soon as she was next to him. "Is everything alright?" he asked concerned.

"Chyna and Adam got into a huge fight," she confessed. Lexi tucked her hair behind her ear and anxiously chewed on her bottom lip. "She's kind of hysterical."

"Did they break up?"

"She's not sure, but she's really flippin' out," Lexi told him sighing heavily.

Ramsey seemed to realize instantly where this was leading. "Do you want to go?" he asked motioning towards the door. Lexi nodded without another thought. The two waved goodbye to their party and rushed for the door.

"I'm sorry I'm making us leave early," Lexi said as she jogged to catch up with him in the crowd.

Ramsey held the door open for Lexi and she pushed her way past him. Even though the walk back to the beach house was only a couple minutes, Ramsey clearly didn't want to waste any time. He hailed a waiting cab and allowed her to enter first. When he sat down, he said, "You don't have to apologize Lexi."

She smiled and nuzzled into Ramsey's shoulder. For the minute ride, she sat there perfectly content in his arms. All her earlier worries were gone, and it felt right again. Just the two of them together in proper fashion. But soon the ride was over. Ramsey tossed a bill at the cabbie and exited behind her.

Throwing her clothes quickly in her bag, Lexi rushed to get everything together. "Don't worry about the rest. I can bring it back with me."

Lexi nodded her head looking around to make sure she had everything of importance, and then grabbed her rolling suitcase. Ramsey took it from her hand and veered her away from the entrance to the house. She narrowed her eyes, but let him lead her through a door they hadn't entered before. "What's this?" she asked. As she walked through, she realized that they were entering a garage. She hadn't even known that they had a garage for the place. They had taken a cab from the airport and hadn't need to drive anywhere the entire trip.

She looked at the sleek Mercedes sitting in one of the slots and realized that it looked very similar to the one she was used to riding around in throughout Atlanta. This was just a slightly older model from the look of it. "Is this yours?" she asked surprised. Somehow she had been here nearly a week and never realized that he had a car waiting for them.

Ramsey popped the trunk and deposited her bag. "Yeah. I keep her here since I got the my new one," he said snapping the door closed and coming around to the side of the machine.

"You keep her here? But why do the owners of the beach house let you keep it here?" she asked unable to put two and two together.

He stared at her over the roof of the Mercedes and sighed. "This is my house Lexi," he mumbled. "I wanted to tell you. I did. I just wasn't sure how you'd react." He was stammering like the first time she had met him. Sometimes she couldn't help but feel that he was the most adorable when he was like this. "You get all funny when I display...well...when I show that I have money. I didn't want you to think that I was cheating you out of a promised vacation by not really paying for us to come out here."

"Ramsey."

"I would have paid for us to go somewhere else, but I was more worried of taking you out of the country. I just wanted you to feel like I was taking care of you, and I thought this was the best way."

"Ramsey."

"So I didn't mean to keep it from you. I didn't want to..."

"Ramsey would you shut up," Lexi cried finally getting a word in. He snapped his mouth closed staring at her intently. "I don't care about the house. Why didn't you just tell me? It would have been fine." She opened the door and slid onto the cream leather seats. She actually found it a bit funny that he owned a beach house since it had been one of the first things she had ever thought about him with his beautifully tanned skin.

He sat down next to her. "I just didn't know how you would react."

"Perhaps next time, you can let me react before making assumptions," she said with a shrug.

After a second, he said, "You're right." He backed out of the driveway and made his way out towards the highway.

"Thanks for taking me," she murmured to break the silence.

"Of course. I know how much Chyna means to you."

"Ramsey," she stammered out, "can I ask you a question?"

"Sure what's up?" he asked merging into traffic.

"Were you and Parker ever...uh...together?" she asked turning to face him in the car. "I mean I know you said that you never had a girlfriend, but you guys looked...comfortable together. And Jessie said..."

"Jessie?" he snapped. "What did Jessie say?"

Lexi paused gauging his reaction. "She didn't say anything. Just that you two were cute together."

"Are you sure that's all?" he asked clenching the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.

"Should she have said more?" she asked staring at him intently.

"No," he said taking a deep breath and releasing his firm grip on the wheel. "She just has a tendency to blab fallacies with the turn of the wind."