Текст книги "Avoiding Responsibility"

Автор книги: K. A. Linde

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"Perhaps we should wait," Ramsey suggested standing, and holding his hand out. "May I have this dance?" he requested formally.

Lexi giggled placing her hand in his and letting him escort her onto the floor. Chyna and Adam followed them and they twirled around in circles to the jazz music playing through the speakers. Soon enough they were surrounded by other couples happily dancing to the music.

Lexi rested her head against Ramsey chest letting her eyes close as they swayed back and forth as a slow song came on. "I really am sorry that I was late," he whispered stroking her lower back. "I wouldn't have missed this for anything."

"It's fine. It wasn't your fault," she reassured him breathing in his minty freshness.

Ramsey's hand came up and tilted her chin up to look into his eyes. "Thank you."

Lexi raised her eyebrows in confusion. "For what?"

"Letting me be here," he said capturing another gentle kiss from her.

Lexi had to do everything in her strength not to pull his face back down towards her and cover his mouth with her own. Her body was being very needy in that moment. All she wanted to do was ditch this place and go back to her apartment.

But she knew that she couldn't do that…even if she wanted to. She was still recovering from everything that had happened in her life over the past month. Jumping into bed with another man, no matter how attractive Ramsey was, would not be in her best interest. Right now she just wanted to forget everything and get lost in his gorgeous body, but she knew that she would regret it. She would regret wasting something that was already going well, with someone that she was beginning to care about.

The last thing she wanted was for Ramsey to become a one night stand. She had been through her fair share of those and it wasn't pretty. After that kind of intimate behavior with hardly any emotional attachment, they never reconnected. She just felt used and in return as if she had used them as well. She wanted to fulfill her physical needs, but not like that…not anymore…not after what had happened with Jack.

She knew Ramsey could be so much more than that if she let herself feel again. She just had to give herself enough time. The boundaries they set up were in place for a reason. So that at a time when she had been sane and not overcome with physical desire, he knew that she couldn't just sleep with him. Of course, she hadn't been able to tell him why, but he knew she had been hurt. Hopefully she could trust him enough not to take advantage of the situation.

"I have to go meet her," Chyna said breaking up their intense moment and sidling up next to Lexi. Adam was at her side and seemed to look between Ramsey and Lexi with idle curiosity.

"We'll go with you," Lexi said using this as an excuse to step out of the physical tension that had formed between her and Ramsey. Ramsey licked his lips before finally breaking his gaze from Lexi's face and following the rest of them towards Chyna's father.

"Chyna," Richard acknowledged his daughter. His eyes traveled from her to the rest of the group, resting on Ramsey for a second longer than the rest, and then returned to Chyna.

"Dad," she muttered. "You remember my friend Alexa?"

"Of course," he said smiling as if he hadn't ogled her the day before like a prized stallion and insulted her without another word.

"This is my boyfriend," Chyna almost choked on the word, "Adam Preston and Alexa's boyfriend Ramsey Bridges."

Richard sidestepped Adam completely and turned to face Ramsey. "Bridges you say?"

"Yes sir," Ramsey told him shaking his hand firmly.

"I thought I recognized you. Great man your father. You're the spitting image of him too. Great things come from your family," he told him. Chyna could see the look in her father's eye. He didn't even have to say anything to her, but she could tell he was wondering why she hadn't come with a man like Ramsey Bridges.

"Thank you sir," he said through gritted teeth. Lexi would have laughed in any other scenario knowing how Ramsey acted towards his father and how he felt about the business.

"Next time you see him, let him know Richard Van der Wal says hello."

"Of course sir. I'll make sure to do that," Ramsey said stepping back to open the conversation up to the rest of the group.

Richard smiled obviously pleased with at least some of the choices of the group. Lexi guessed that he had been expecting some nobodies to give him more leverage to be disappointed with Chyna. Adam didn't exactly carry the prestige that the Bridges name carried but he was a nice guy. Lexi didn't actually know what he did or if he had any money. It was a strange thing to be with people Chyna associated and not know whether or not they were wealthy. Not that Lexi cared one way or the other.

"Well I'm sure you're all very anxious to meet my darling," Richard said turning around to smile at his fiancé. "Victoria this is my daughter Chyna."

The two came face to face, dark meeting light for the first time. Chyna swallowed a lump in her throat. She needed to be friendly with this woman or her life would fall apart. She pushed her pride out the window and came forward and hugged the woman. They were almost exactly the same height. "So nice to meet you," Chyna whispered as she pulled back slightly.

Victoria smiled slyly. "You too. I'm sure. You look different than Richard described you though dear," she said eyeing Chyna up and down. "Wasn't your mother a model?" she asked arching an eyebrow up.

Chyna's mouth dropped open slightly at the insult. Her eyes widened ever so slightly. Her head moved from side to side to glance at the other people surrounding her just to make sure that she hadn't imagined the comment. She took a deep breath and thought about what Ramsey said earlier before answering. "She is a model, actually."

"Really? At her age?" Victoria asked astounded.

Chyna forced a fake smile. "She's actually in Milan right now prepping for a show."

"Well isn't that wonderful. Does she have the same problem with alcohol giving her dark circles under her eyes?"

"You don't have circles under your eyes," Chyna said in confusion.

"No, but you do," Victoria said smiling sweetly. She turned to face Richard who was talking to a French couple about their American tour. "Richard dear," Victoria called not giving Chyna enough time to respond.

"Yes my love?" he asked excusing himself from the couple and coming to snuggle up against Victoria's neck.

"Can we go dance? I've been standing here too long," she pouted.

"Of course," he said escorting her onto the floor as he brushed past his daughter without another word.

Chyna twirled around and stared at them in complete shock and awe. "What a vile creature!" she cried her mouth still hanging open from her encounter.

"Yeah she's a real bitch," Adam agreed.

"I thought you handled that well though," Ramsey acknowledged Chyna. "It might have gotten to you, but you didn't show it."

"I just can't believe she said those things, and right in front of your dad," Lexi said.

"He doesn't care. Let's just get the fuck out of here," Chyna said making a beeline for the exit. "You guys need a ride?" Chyna asked as her driver pulled up in front of the building.

Lexi glanced up at Ramsey. He smiled and answered, "No, we'll just take a cab."

"Let me know if you need me," Lexi said hugging Chyna good bye. "I'm sorry about everything that happened."

"Don't worry about it. Not your fault. My dad is stupid for thinking that twit wants him for anything more than his money," Chyna told her.

"I know, but still let me know," Lexi told her. Chyna nodded head and then dove into the car. Adam shook Ramsey's hand one more time, smiled at Lexi, and then followed Chyna.

"So," Lexi began staring up into Ramsey handsome face. "My place?" she asked even though she knew that he had a hotel room in the city.

They hailed a cab to Lexi's apartment, and soon were both comfortably relaxing in her bed. Lexi smiled up in Ramsey's handsome face feeling incredibly content with the way things were going. They had put on a movie for background noise as they talked about inconsequential aspects of each other's lives. Lexi informed him that she was a gymnast while he confessed he had played soccer and football in high school, but when he had gone off to college he'd really gotten into lacrosse. They discussed their love for the ocean and Ramsey promised to take her sailing. The stories were endless and just as Lexi was beginning to fall asleep wrapped in his arms, he brought up one more topic.

"So what ever happened with you when you left Atlanta?" he whispered into the silence even though he knew he was pushing his luck. He was fortunate enough to just be in New York right now with her at his side. He shouldn't even bring up the thing that had torn her out of his life. But he was so damn curious, and he had been for a long time. He wanted to get to the bottom of everything.

Lexi scrunched her feet up underneath her and wrapped her arms around her knees effectively cutting him off from her. She closed her eyes and tried not to think about Jack. Her breathing hitched and she bit down on her lip hard enough to keep her mind occupied with the pain. "Uh…I just had to get away," she finally muttered.

He scooted closer to her on the bed and wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. "Hey, I'm not trying to pry. I'm just curious."

"Well, can we not talk about this?" she asked looking up at him with a fearful expression across her face. She had no idea what would happen if she started talking about Jack at that moment. She might end up blurting out what had actually happened and with everything in such a delicate position in her life – both Ramsey and her emotional state of being – she wasn't sure she could handle it. He might turn and run in the opposite direction if he knew. That would be the logical thing to do.

"Yeah, sure, if that's what you want," he agreed. "I just don't want to see you hurt like that ever again."

"Maybe another time," she told him relaxing some into his body. She was so afraid to talk to Ramsey about relationships in the event that he would in turn ask her similar questions. But she was so curious about his past. Even though she knew it wasn't smart, and she had just refused to talk to him about what had happened she couldn't keep herself from asking, "Have you ever been in love?"

Ramsey stiffened at the question his entire body going rigid. Lexi glanced up into his eyes which had hardened. His jaw was set tight; his breathing controlled and even, as if he was thinking about each inhalation. Lexi had no idea that simple question would have elicited such a reaction, but she immediately regretted the decision to ask.

"Uh, sorry," Lexi said trying to do damage control. "I guess it's a sore subject. Don't be mad."

He breathed out heavily and turned to face her. His features had returned to their normal softness. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to flip out. You just caught me off guard."

"Oh. Sorry. Really, I didn't mean to pry."

"No need to apologize," he said waving off her apology. "I should have just answered. I've never been in love."

Lexi's eyes widened in surprise. That certainly had not been what she had expected. "What? Really? Haven't you ever had a girlfriend?"

"Not in the real sense of the word."

"Never?" she asked in disbelief.

"I've…dated," he said that word carefully, "a lot. I've just never had anyone hold my interest."

Lexi's mouth had fallen open at some point, and she had to force herself to close it. How could someone have gone through their entire life without a girlfriend…without ever being in love? She wasn't exactly good with relationships, well she was terrible, but she had been in love. Tragically in love, but still there was always that cliché statement – to love and lost is better than to never have loved at all.

She was reminded of Bekah's comment to her about Ramsey being a player. She didn't know how to take that now that she knew what kind of person Bekah really was. On the other hand, hadn't he just confirmed his player status?

And if nothing ever held his attention, why was he still after her? Was it because she denied him what he wanted? She didn't want to be something that he was only after for the chase. She didn't want him to get what he wanted then dismiss her out of boredom. If he could do that to other girls, he certainly could do that to her.

"Wow," she managed to get out. "That's…depressing."

Ramsey laughed aloud. "It's been kind of lonely if that's what you mean," he said pulling her into him.

"But you're so attractive."

He laughed again heartier this time. "Thank you. I feel as if that is a contributing factor in why I have never found someone to hold my interest. I've heard," he told her sliding his hand into her hair and beginning to massage her head and down to her neck, "that most women are interested in my appearance. This makes it rather difficult to find anyone who wants more than that, or if they do, they want my money."

"Uh huh," Lexi said closing her eyes as his worked his way down to her shoulder blades.

"You never seemed interested in either."

"I'm interested in your looks," she murmured cracking a smile.

"Oh really?" he asked kneading the knots out of her back.

"God, that feels good," Lexi huskily said pushing her body back against his. She was trying to suppress her physical desire for him, but the way his hands were moving just made that more and more difficult.

Ramsey groaned at the feel of her. "Yes, yes it does."

"Oh," Lexi said realizing that she had effectively pressed herself flush against him and that a simple massage was beginning to turn into much more if she didn't stop herself.

Ramsey turned her body around and stared into her big brown eyes. His eyes drifted lower landing on her lips. He smiled as she did the same thing. Coming forward his lips pressed firmly against hers. His tongue darted out opening her mouth and massaging her tongue with his. She groaned deep in her throat. Her hands came up and pushed up into his blonde hair egging him on. His arms wrapped around her waist pulling her closer.

Just as Lexi was about to scramble to strip his clothes off, he pulled back from her. "As much as I want to continue," he said his eyes smoldering with desire. "I know we should take this slow."

Lexi's bottom lip came out to pout involuntarily. Even though she knew that this was a bad idea that didn't mean she wanted to stop. He came forward and kissed her bottom lip. "We'll have plenty of time for the other stuff if I have anything to say about it," he said encouragingly.

After everything he had just told her about himself, could she really believe that he would stick this out? She presumed that as long as he didn't get what he wanted, then he would be around. But then she didn't understand why he would wait it out. Perhaps, there was more to him than she even knew. She really wanted to figure out the mystery behind Ramsey…but she wanted to do that without revealing her jaded love story.

She sighed and lay back against the bed. He wrapped his arms around her holding her close. At least in this moment, they could be content together with their secrets.

K.A. Linde

No Reason

Three days since the living room

I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you

Yesterday you'd forgiven me

but it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry

-Barenaked Ladies "One Week"

Chapter 5: Present

"I think I gathered that. Thanks Seth," Lexi said rolling her eyes at his proclamation.

She felt like a complete idiot. She knew she should have listened to Ramsey when he said that she didn't want to be involved. Out of past experiences, she should have known better than to come along when he said it was in her best interest not to. She hadn't been able to stop herself though.

After such an abrupt interruption, she just needed to know what was going on. She didn't want any more secrets. If he couldn't tell her where he was running off to in the middle of the night, then she felt she had every right to join him where he was going.

Granted, he probably should have told her what was going on. It wasn't exactly fair to spring Jack's bachelor party on her. Ramsey knew her qualms with the situation and could have at least given her some kind of warning. How hard would it have been for him to say that it involved Jack?

She shook her head knowing exactly how she would have reacted in that situation. She would have run in the opposite direction if he'd said that.

Or at least she liked to think she would have. In reality, she knew that she would probably just been pissed off. One for him bringing Jack up at all, especially after they had agreed they wouldn't talk about that damn wedding. Two, for him interrupting what they were doing because of Jack. And lastly, because Jack was here at all!

What was he doing in New York?

Of all the places to have a bachelor party. Honestly!

She had heard the stories of Seth's big night in Las Vegas. She knew things about his strip club experiences and other such festivities that no girl should have to hear about. And now Jack had brought his bachelor party here, to her front door. It really didn't make any sense unless he wanted to see her.

Her heart started beating even faster than before. She knew the best man typically put together the bachelor party, but rarely without the groom's permission. She just couldn't imagine Jack coming here without some type of ulterior motive. Maybe it was naïve on her part to feel anything about Jack's motives. After all, she had never really been able to figure them out before, but could there really be a competing explanation?

He had lived here awhile himself so there was really no point in seeing the sights. He'd already done all of that. She didn't know for sure, but she guessed he had been to a strip club or two around here. So he was missing the element of a new surprising experience. He had some friends left in the city besides Lexi, but as far as she knew his old roommate, Stella, at least, had left. That, thankfully, ruled out that possibility.

Lexi vision was swimming as these thoughts filled her head. She didn't know why Jack had decided to come to New York. After their history, this city had to hold too many memories for him. He had been with Lexi here. He had screwed up everything with Lexi here, in this city. He had to know Lexi was in the city. And with his rapidly approaching marriage, she wouldn't think he would want to be reminded of all these emotions. Lexi had always been the masochist of the relationship, not Jack.

"So are you going to celebrate with us?" Seth asked swinging his arm across Lexi's shoulders, inexplicitly keeping her from falling backwards into a rather inviting black chair. She just wanted to sleep away the rest of the evening. Her stomach was in knots and she didn't know which way to move to clear away the mist that fell over her mind at the knowledge that Jack was here in this city…in this establishment.

"No, we're not here for that," Ramsey said glaring at Seth's hand making its way towards Lexi's breast. "So tell me the whole story this time. I need to know who I need to talk to."

Lexi snapped out of her trance as Seth's hand completely cupped her breast. She smacked his hand and he released her. His drunken brain must have processed that she wasn't a stripper…or it was just Seth.

"Yeah Seth what the fuck is going on?" Lexi asked shrugging his arm off her shoulder and taking a step away. She didn't want him to think about touching her like that again. She didn't care how drunk he was. "Why did you drag us out here?"

"Well I didn't know you were going to be with her or I would have called sooner," he told Ramsey as he turning to face Lexi. He moved closer placing his hands on her hips. He began to sway from side to side like a middle school couple at their first dance.

"Cut it out," Lexi said smacking his hands away as they came dangerously close to crossing the line into high school dancing where his were reaching down towards her ass. Seth dropped his hands and stumbled backwards a step.

"Yeah, you said Jack's missing and everything was stolen?" Ramsey prompted leaning towards Seth. He was a couple inches taller than him and towered over him as he demanded answers to his questions. He had been taken out of a very appealing situation because his future brother-in-law was missing at his own bachelor party. He did not want to have to deal with Bekah's wrath about this.

"Hunter. Luke," Seth called turning from Ramsey's determined gaze. "Did I tell him Jack was missing?"

Ramsey stepped forward, grabbed a fistful of Seth's shirt in each hand, and yanked him towards him. "Give me a straight answer. Now," he growled. His demeanor had completely shifted. The anger that was radiating from his body was almost palpable. It's as if his body had shifted to this new character. His blind rage at the situation was taking over his body, and it was pretty obvious to everyone that if Seth stepped over the line Ramsey would not be happy. Eyes followed them around the room as it dawned on everyone that a fight was about to break out.

Lexi shifted her eyes around the establishment. She noticed the bouncer's general shift of attention towards their group. A few even began taking a few steps towards them. She could tell they were still deciding if something was going to go down or not. Neither of the guys was touching the women, who had mostly backed away from their enclave, which made them less threatening, but still Ramsey and Seth were both big guys. She was sure the bouncers didn't want to have to deal with unruly clients especially not ones who had been funneling money into the place all night.

"Ramsey," Lexi murmured placing her hand lightly on his bulging bicep, "people are staring at us. You need to be careful."

"I don't need to be careful here," Ramsey said never taking his eyes from Seth.

"I know, but really just back off of him. He's drunk and an idiot," she told him trying to calm him down. The last thing she wanted was trouble. She had enough drama to last her entire life time. Being kicked out of a strip club in the middle of New York City at an ungodly hour of the night was not something she wanted to add to the list.

"Don't make me ask you again," Ramsey told Seth ignoring Lexi's comments. He narrowed his eyes at Seth who had finally given his full attention to the gravity of the situation. "If Jack is missing, I have to deal with it. I can't just stand around and let you drunken frat boys continue to drink yourselves silly when something serious happened. So answer my damn questions."

"We were never in a frat," Seth managed his voice shaky as his brain tried to catch up with what was happening. Lexi could see a glimmer of laughter in his eyes, and wasn't sure she liked that look.

"Seth," she murmured softly at his ridiculous response.

"Just back off man and I'll tell you," he said shifting his eyes from Lexi back to Ramsey. With that look she saw that he had finally caught up to what was going on. Ramsey was threatening him.

She could tell that at that realization Seth appeared kind of scared of Ramsey. She would have never guessed that someone as cool and collected as Seth was scared of anyone. She was so accustomed to his flirtatious, overly-confident outwards appearance that the look of terror in his eyes really threw her off.

She knew Ramsey was a tall and really, really well built. Then again she also knew that deep down that bulk didn't characterize him. He was as a general rule very calm natured, at least around her. She wasn't sure how well Seth and Ramsey knew each other, but did Seth actually believe that Ramsey would hurt him? She had seen him become physically violent before, but never to someone that he knew. She had to admit though, he did look pretty frightening. When he wanted to look threatening, he certainly could. He had the height and mass to dissuade anyone from wanting to get in a fight with him.

His personality just never fit him being this kind of guy. She always found it strange when he played the tough guy. Even that night nearly a year ago when he had walked into Jack's apartment and threatened his life if he ever hurt Lexi or his sister, she had never thought of him as scary…as if he might actually follow through with it.

When he was with her, he always tried to be the most comforting person possible. He was cute, funny, and charming. He could string words together like a poet one minute and ramble like a nervous fool the next. She knew he wasn't this guy that he was putting on the act to be. Thus, it was too strange to see the fear reflected in Seth's eyes. Ramsey would never hurt him, right?

"Don't play games with me," Ramsey said releasing his shirt and pushing him backwards.

Seth ran his hands along the black button-up he was wearing to smooth out the wrinkles from Ramsey's aggressive behavior. "Chill out, geez."

"I'll chill out when I get a straight answer from you. You called me in a panic, made me leave everything I was doing." His eyes shot to Lexi's for a brief moment. "I want to know what is going on now, Seth."

"Wait what was that look?" he asked pointing between Lexi and Ramsey. A slow smile crept up onto his face and instantly turned into Seth's characteristic smirk. "Was something going on between you two? Is something going on between you two?"

Lexi's face instantly turned beet red. She couldn't help herself. She hadn't intended on going that far with Ramsey, not that it should matter to Seth one way or the other, but she still felt kind of silly. After all, they had been about to have sex when they were interrupted with Seth's stupid phone call. She could feel the warmth of her skin heating her face and her heart raced ahead before her at the thought of having sex with Ramsey. She knew her mind shouldn't wander there while she was standing before Seth, but she couldn't help it. And she was very thankful that the room was dark, and Seth couldn't tell how bad she was blushing. She would have certainly given herself away.

"Stop changing the subject," Ramsey said pointedly changing the subject.

"I'm not changing the subject," Seth interjected smoothly. "I just know that look. I know it so well that I could have picked it out anyway."

"What does it matter Seth?" Lexi squeaked out.

"It's just I can tell that's what has been going on. You guys were together all night when you were supposed to be here with the guys right?"

"Seth it doesn't matter, God," Lexi muttered shoving a piece of hair behind her ear. She didn't know what Seth was getting at and it was really annoying to have him badger them about their relationship. She didn't want to have this conversation at all let alone with a drunken Seth. He was one of the most vulgar people she knew, and if he got talking about sex, if he thought for one moment that they had been about to have sex, the conversation would be endless.

"Oh, but it does matter," he said contrarily.

"It really doesn't matter," Ramsey agreed with Lexi. "Just tell me what happened here," he said exasperated and ready to get the hell out of the strip club.

"But don't you know?" Seth asked his eyes shifting to Lexi's. He winked at her causing her blush to deepen.

She really had no idea what he was getting at now. What didn't Ramsey know that Seth thought he could tell him? He had to know that they had been together. He was, after all, Jack's best friend. He was the person he had been friends with the longest. And if she had to guess, he was probably the best man at his wedding. Jack had been his best man. They had a bond unlike any other. And if Jack knew that she had been with Ramsey, then Seth did too. Which brought her back to having no clue where Seth was going with all this.

"Know what? I don't have time for these games," Ramsey growled.

"She's Jack girl."

Lexi's mouth dropped open in shock at his words. Her ears were ringing and all else was blocked out. It was as if the strip club had instantly gone silent. The pain of those words shot through her like a knife through her heart. The nonchalance of the statement hit her to the core. She didn't even have words. She couldn't even correct him. She was just utterly shocked by the easy way he threw around those words.

She had worked a year to get him out of her life as much as she possibly could. He always had a place in her heart since she had loved him so obsessively for such a long time, but she had been able to extract herself from him to an extent. But Seth's easy placement of her belonging to Jack catapulted her to a different place in her life. And she had to forcefully remind herself to be angry that he had placed her with Jack. After all it was pretty fucked up that he would say that at all about someone who was about to be married. Let alone say those kind of things to the man she had been dating who happened to also be Jack's future brother-in-law.

As the proper emotion filtered into her system, anger bubbled up from the pit of her stomach. She wanted to smack him across the face for ever uttering something that had always been such a complete and total lie. She wasn't Jack's girl. She had never been Jack's girl. Jack only cared about himself. He was happy to leave her behind while he married someone else.

"Jack is marrying my sister," Ramsey stated each word carefully. Lexi saw the same raw anger that she was certain reflected in her eyes in Ramsey's own demeanor. "Perhaps you should think about that before you speak again."

Seth's easy smile was something Lexi was extremely accustomed too. He was in his element. For some reason, even drunk, he was having fun with this. "He might be marrying her, but it's not like he's going to get rid of Lexi. I mean have you seen her?" he asked gesturing towards Lexi who was still in her sexy red dress from their night out. His eyes crawled her body hungrily, the alcohol getting rid of the last bit of inhibition that he had. Not that he had had much to begin with. "She's fire hot! And anyway, they've been together forever."