Текст книги "Avoiding Responsibility"

Автор книги: K. A. Linde

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Текущая страница: 30 (всего у книги 32 страниц)

"I'm glad you're here," he said as he cleared the distance between them.

Before Lexi even knew what was going on, Jack grabbed her hips firmly in his hands and pressed her back against the door. Lexi gasped as she thudded against the wood. As she was recovering from the fact that her back had shaken the door frame, she realized in that split second that Jack's body was pressing against her. His hand threaded into her hair and his face began to move closer towards her. Lexi's mouth opened slightly in surprise…was he about to kiss her? Just when the thought connected in her mind, his mouth dropped down and met her lips.

Thanks for the reviewers: Meow X, Cupid's Psyche, sweets1103, spunkyorange, Ms. Vengeance, Kelly Rogala, Bkimmer, Sophie, CMtaylor, LandofPeoples, taurus09grrl, helplessromantic285, Jensi, and effortlessromantic.

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K.A. Linde

Revelations

There was a time I thought, that you did everything right

No lies, no wrong. Boy I, must've been outta my mind

So when I think of the time that I almost loved you

You showed your ass and I saw the real you

-Beyonce "The Best Thing I Never Had"

Chapter 24: Present

Lexi could not believe that Jack had the nerve to kiss her on his wedding day. She knew that it hadn't meant anything to him before, but this had to be different. She didn't care if he was having doubts or if he wanted to bow out of the wedding, that didn't suddenly make it okay for his to kiss her. In fact, it just showed how confused and desperate he was. Just what she didn't need to deal with right now. Even Lexi with her loose morals when it came to Jack Howard knew that this was 100% not okay.

She placed both of her hands on his chest and attempted to separate herself from Jack. He didn't even seem to notice or acknowledge her efforts. His hands resting on her hips just held her more firmly in place. She couldn't believe this. He wouldn't even budge an inch. "Jack," she groaned still trying to shove him away, but he wasn't listening. He was a man possessed.

He hadn't had his lips on her in over a year, and she had wanted to keep it that way. After what had happened the last time, she hadn't wanted to be put in this position again. Somehow she always found herself kissing him. It happened when she wasn't expecting it and when it was the last thing that needed to happen in her life. But she wasn't a confused girl this time around, she knew better than to let this continue. She couldn't believe what she was about to do, but he wasn't exactly leaving her any other option.

Almost out of instinct, Lexi's knee hitched up and connected cleanly with his groin. Jack immediately broke free of her and doubled over in pain. "Fuck," he cried gasping for breath. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." She could see his face was turning red and was contorted into agony.

Lexi had never kicked a guy in the ball before, but she knew the general motion and apparently had executed it properly. She just stood there over him and watched as tears came to his eyes as he held himself. For some reason that was ridiculously satisfying. He certainly didn't need to be using those things for anything in the near future, and he had been sexually harassing her.

"What the fuck was that Lexi?" Jack cried out as he put his head between his knees to ease the pain.

"What the fuck was that?" she asked him. "Are you joking? You were molesting me on the day of your wedding!"

"No need to knee me in my balls. Fuck," he cried out again relenting to sit helplessly on the floor.

"Oh you don't think so? What gives you the right to kiss me? You completely lost all privileges in that department when you proposed to Bekah. What kind of person kisses someone else on their wedding day?" she asked throwing her arms in the air. "Are you a fucking moron Jack? Do you know nothing of fidelity or loyalty or honesty or commitment? I think you have no concept of those things. You are the exact same person you are when I first met you. You haven't changed at all."

"You liked that person," he grumbled painfully.

"Oh don't even get me started on that front! You lied to me. You were dating someone else and you never even bothered to tell me. How could I ever have been fooled into thinking you would like and respect me after that, let alone think you could ever love me? You are too selfish to see anyone or anything else," Lexi spat at him.

"You weren't much better. You cheated on Clark," he mumbled taking deep breathes.

"It is my greatest shame, my biggest regret. You…you don't even know what those words mean. You never felt bad…never. You never wanted me to be first. Bekah was right about one thing, as much as I hate to admit that, but I always was second best to you. You never wanted me for me. You wanted me for the easy sex you got when we were talking. We had so many shots and you just blew it. You knocked it out of the park. You made us look like we could never be together." Lexi crossed her arms angrily thinking about how fucked up their relationship had been for so long. She was just as angry with herself for putting up with it. She didn't care if she loved him or if she wanted to be around him or that they had this immediate attraction. She needed more than that and it was something Jack was never able to provide.

"I did want us to be together," he said glancing back up at her finally.

Lexi bent down to look at him at eye level. She couldn't believe how gorgeous his eyes still looked even as they were teared up and slightly red. But he would need more than the beautiful blue eyes she had always fallen for to get out of this conversation. "It took me a long time to realize how much of a liar you are."

"I'm not a liar, Lex. I always said I would tell you the truth," he whined.

Lexi shook her head. "You always said the words, but you only spoke the truth when it benefited you. And in that sense Jack, you have never changed."

"When did I lie to you?" he demanded. He doubled back over as he clutched himself. She had really done a number on him.

"When?" she asked with a cynical laugh. "You want me to make a list for you?"

Jack nodded. "When I honestly lied to you Lexi."

"I think your most telling moment Jack was when you told me that you wanted to be with me and then proposed to Bekah. If that isn't the biggest lie you've ever told, then I don't know what is," she spoke bitterly.

Jack raised his head and let his sad blue eyes rest back on her. "I did want us to work Lexi."

"But you proposed to her only hours after having sex with me!" she cried straightening up to avoid the prolonged eye contact. "That's disgusting."

"It's just…I thought we could be together, and then I saw you with Ramsey. I was…jealous," he murmured attempting to stand up.

"You were jealous of Ramsey?" she asked arching an eyebrow.

"Yea and apparently I had good reason to be. You guys were together for a year. You're here for him," he said with a shrug. He coughed twice trying to resist the bile that was rising in his throat. His lower half was throbbing in the most uncomfortable pain of his life. He felt like a tingly soreness had just fallen over his entire body and something was caught in his throat. He wouldn't be walking straight for awhile.

"So you proposed to Bekah, because I kissed Ramsey not because you wanted to marry her?" Lexi asked. However implausible the scenario was, she wanted to get his absurd answers out in the open.

"That's not exactly what I meant."

"No? You do realize whatever you are going to say is going to sound ridiculous," she asked crossing her arms again to block off the sympathy that was starting to creep up in her. She had known Jack too long. She didn't need to get sucked into his trap again.

"I just mean that when I saw you with Ramsey, I saw that I wasn't everything to you," he murmured leaning against a dresser for support. "I saw that we had too much baggage to really work together as a couple. I wanted it. I always wanted it, but I just wasn't sure if it was ever plausible. I wasn't sure if you could ever look past what had happened in our past to move onto a future with us."

"So you picked the easy way out. You fucked me and then went for your blonde bitch as always," she snapped forcefully. Lexi was so angry at his explanation. She had had similar thoughts at one point in time, but that didn't mean she was just going to walk away from him. She had ran away so many times before so it should have made sense that Jack had done the same thing. They were two peas in a pod. But to just desert their entire past because he was scared and jealous was just a terrible explanation. She would have expected better from Jack. Even though she didn't know why she should have that expectation. He had always fallen short of them before. "You didn't even have the decency to…oh I don't know…communicate with me about any of this. I didn't even know you were planning to propose and then poof you're engaged."

"I was going to tell you," he said reaching out to her.

Lexi instantly took a step away from him. She couldn't believe him. She couldn't believe anything he said to her anymore. He had lied to her…about everything. And it was about damn time that she followed through with that belief. No more giving in to him just because that was what she had always done. She liked to think she had grown since then…even in a week's time. "No. No you weren't, and it doesn't matter. You were right about Ramsey anyway. That's probably why we're back together."

"What?" Jack asked his head snapping to face her. He groaned at the sudden movement and leaned more heavily on the dresser. "You guys are back together."

Lexi looked at him suspiciously. He looked a bit shaken by the announcement though to be fair she had just kicked him in the balls. He probably would look shaken regardless. "Yes stop acting so surprised."

"He is not right for you," Jack said instantly.

"Oh please," Lexi said rolling her eyes. "As if Bekah is good for you? I don't think so."

"This isn't about Bekah. This is about Ramsey."

"This is just as much about Bekah as it is about Ramsey. You have no say in whether or not I'm dating him or why," Lexi snapped. She was tired of his games. She was tired of him wanting her to be single while he went off and married Bekah. That didn't make sense. Bekah and Ramsey were intrinsically linked in this charade that her and Jack had been playing.

She could see it in his face that he didn't want to concede that point. He never wanted to give up his hold on her. It didn't matter if he was going to be married in a few hours. These things didn't generally cross Jack's mind. "I know you're dating him, because you think he can give you a happy life."

"I don't just think that Jack. I know he can," she said with a cocky smile.

"What you think everything is just going to be fine now that he's working with Parker every day?" Jack asked taking a few steps back from the dresser and resting against the footboard of the enormous bed centered in the room. Lexi knew she had entered a bedroom when she had walked in, but until that second she hadn't really assessed her surroundings. The bed really was massive. It took up a significant portion of the room and was so full of down pillows and a soft down comforter that when Jack leaned back the bed dipped in around him. It looked like it would completely envelope her if she lay back against it.

Lexi didn't want to think about Parker, but she knew that she couldn't back down from Jack. Once he knew he had an advantage he would just keep pushing until he got his way, and she couldn't have that. Ramsey was not interested in Parker. They had history and nothing else…just like she wanted things to be like with Jack. If Ramsey had wanted to get back together with Parker, he had had years to do that. There was no need now when he was finally happy with Lexi to go and mess things up with Parker. The only reason Lexi was even here was because Ramsey had asked her. He had trusted her enough to not give into Jack, and she had to trust him in turn.

"Yes, I think everything will be fine," she said standing her ground.

Jack laughed. He actually laughed at her. It sounded rather painful since he was still recovering, but it was definitely laughter. "When people have that much history, it's never fine. Just look at us…look at where we are. You think this is just fine?"

"I think I just kicked you in your balls to show you just how fine everything is between us," she said leveling her gaze on him.

"Yes, but they were going to get married. It's a bit different don't you think?" he asked trying to unseat her.

"You want to bring up people getting married Jack?" she asked glaring at him.

Jack shrugged again unperturbed by her bringing up his wedding again. "Go on and tell me that you think it's the same as us," he challenged her.

"You know, in fact, I don't think it's the same as us. If they wanted to be together, they would have. Clearly they don't want that. They might be working together, but that's all Jack. Not everyone is like you. You have no idea what Ramsey can give me," she said shoving a lock of hair behind her ear.

Jack shook his head side to side. He hadn't missed her nervous tick at the end of that last statement. "Just as delusional as you always were," he said resting his arm back against the bed invitingly.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" she asked avoiding looking at the bed. The last thing she wanted to do was appear interested in that bed.

"On some small level you don't think that working in close proximity together every day is going to rekindle something that was once there? Imagine if we had to work together every day. What would it be like?" Lexi stopped and considered it. She was sure that it would be a disaster. She had trouble enough resisting him when she rarely ever saw him. She couldn't imagine what it would be like. But she didn't know if that's how Ramsey and Parker's relationship worked. It was unfair to judge them based on how an atypical relationship functioned. "I take it you get my point?"

"I think it's different with them than it is with us, because they were together, they broke up, and they moved on. We were never together, we never broke up, and we've never moved on. Clearly you just kissed me."

"But it's not that far-fetched," Jack countered.

"Stop trying to make me doubt what I have Jack. It's not going to work. Ramsey and I have so much more than you ever gave me. You don't even know what it's like to be in a relationship with me. Ramsey does. You don't know what it's like to vacation with me. Ramsey does. You don't know what it's like to not be scared that we're going to cheat on each other. Ramsey knows that feeling. In some ways he knows me better than you ever could Jack, because you never gave us a real shot. I'm not going to stand here and let you talk shit about Ramsey. I love him and that's that," she said turning away from him angrily.

She knew that she hadn't exactly done what she had been planning to do when she walked into Jack's room, but he had changed the game when he had kissed her. She didn't care if he married the bitch or not. She didn't care whether or not he ruined his life. She just wanted him out of hers.

Lexi reached for the door knob, but Jack stopped her. "Okay Lexi, you win."

She wasn't sure if she had ever heard those words from his mouth. Somehow throughout their entire relationship, Lexi had always felt like she was on the losing side of the scenario. Jack never gave in. Jack never backed down. Jack never relented.

"What did you say?" she asked slowly turning back around.

"You win," he repeated admitting defeat.

Lexi gulped. "What do I win?" she asked hesitantly.

"I didn't give you what you deserved. I screwed you over like a royal ass when I really just wanted to make everything better," he said edging towards her.

"Jack," she murmured eyeing his approach with caution. She didn't want this apology…or whatever it was to get out of hand.

"I've never treated you the way I should have. I would do anything I could to go back to that time when we could have been together and change the way I acted. But…"

"But you can't," she finished for him easily. She hardened her gaze and crossed her arms barring him from intruding in her space.

"No…I can't," he said nodding his head sadly. "So what should I do Lex?" he asked his bright blue eyes searching hers.

Lexi sighed and shrugged her shoulders. What could she tell him? She was here to tell him to get married to give up on her, and wasn't that exactly what she had just argued for? Yet, a small part of her still didn't want him to get married. An even larger part just didn't want him to marry Bekah. She was torn. Could she truly tell him to marry someone she thought was completely wrong for him? Was it better to just allow him to be completely and totally off the market even if she was sending him to his grave? She hated thinking like that, but it kind of felt like that.

"I can't tell you what to do Jack," she murmured dropping her arms. "You have to decide on your own."

"I know I should, but what should I do?" he asked begging her for an answer.

"Look, the fact that you are debating this at all should be a sign," finally muttered.

Jack nodded pleading with her to continue. "So you think I should call it off?"

"I am not going to be responsible for you calling off your wedding!" she cried. "You make up your own fucking mind Jack Howard!"

"Don't start yelling at me. You know how I feel about you when you get angry," he said taking another step towards her.

"Do you want to have another injury?" she asked him arching an eyebrow.

"Uh no," he said stepping backwards again. "I just don't know what to do Lex."

"Do whatever you want. I was supposed to come in here to convince you to marry her. Well let's be honest I came here a year ago and was pretty successful at it. Why should now be any different?"

Jack stopped and really looked at her. Lexi wasn't sure why that statement had managed to keep him from advancing on her, but she wasn't going to complain. If she had finally gotten through to him then all the better.

"Alright," he said nodding. "Thanks for coming to see me even though you didn't want to. It really means a lot…everything to me Lex."

Lexi tried to keep her mouth from dropping open. Who was this person? Jack never gave up. Jack never apologized. He certainly never thanked her for her opinion on the matter. They could work together in the easy way that their relationship had formed over time, but this was different. This made it seem like Jack had somehow grown too since she had last seen him, which seemed hella implausible considering he had just kissed her.

"You're welcome Jack," she said taking that opportunity to push the bedroom door back open.

Lexi turned around to face the questioning looks of the groomsmen and found herself face to face with an entire room of people she had not been anticipating.

"I knew it!" Bekah screeched sauntering forward. Her hair and makeup were immaculate, but she had yet to be fitted into her wedding dress for the upcoming event.

Lexi could not figure out what the fuck she was doing here. Ramsey, Chyna, and Adam seemed to be trying to restrain her from walking forward, but what was she doing in the room in the first place? This was her wedding day. She was not supposed to know that Lexi had ever been in that room. It was tradition that the groom wasn't supposed to see the bride on their wedding day. Lexi would have never pinned Bekah as someone who wanted to break tradition. This just didn't make any sense.

"Bekah stop," Ramsey commanded grabbing her elbow forcefully. "You're going to ruin everything."

"I'm going to ruin everything?" she asked twirling around and smacking his hand off of her. "You're little homewrecker is in a bedroom with my fiancé. Don't you think I should be a little concerned with that?"

"Not if you trust Jack like I trust Lexi," he pointed out.

"I trust Jack," she amended quickly, "just not Lexi. You don't know what she's done."

"Actually I think I do. I know you find it hard to believe, but Lexi and I did talk about her past relationships when we dated for the last year."

"Then you know she's a cheating whore!" Bekah cried turning back to glare at Lexi who hadn't moved from her position in front of the door.

Ramsey grabbed her arm even more forcefully and yanked her backwards. "Now you listen and you listen good, because I'm only going to say this once. Don't fucking talk about her like that."

"Don't you fucking talk to me like that or manhandle me," she said pulling away from him again. "She's the one trying to ruin my wedding."

"She's the one trying to fix your wedding," he growled releasing her.

"It wouldn't need to be fixed if she didn't try to ruin everything," she said walking forward towards Lexi. "Isn't that right?"

Lexi didn't know what to say. It was true that she had tried to ruin their relationship, but only under the pretense that her and Jack were going to be together. After that she had left them completely alone. She had only contacted Jack once before this week and it was when her father had had a heart attack so it hadn't really counted. "I'm not trying to ruin anything for you Bekah."

"You sure about that?" she asked, "Because you look like you are coming out of a bedroom with my fiancé."

"Bekah what are you doing?" Jack asked coming and standing next to Lexi.

"Jack," she murmured after he spoke. "She's out to ruin us."

"No she's not. Just calm down," he said trying to reason with her. "What are you even doing here? I'm not supposed to see you until the wedding."

"I just had a sneaking suspicion that she was here. I had to follow my instincts, and look she's here. That doesn't seem like a coincidence. There's something going on."

"There's nothing going on between me and Jack," Lexi grumbled. "I can't fucking believe you would barge in here on your wedding day. You have no concept of reality. You have no concept of trust. You just thought something was going on and came in here unannounced. I'm not ruining your wedding day. You are!" Lexi couldn't believe she had gotten the words out. She had wanted to say something catty to Bekah for so long, but out of respect for the men in her life she had resisted. The accusations she was hurling Lexi's way had just been too much in that moment. She hadn't been able to hold back.

"This coming from the woman who walks out of a bedroom with another woman's fiancé," Bekah pointed out.

"But nothing happened with me and Jack," Lexi said standing her ground.

"Oh stop trying to act so innocent!" Bekah said to Lexi raising her voice.

Lexi narrowed her eyes at her dangerously. "Me? Act innocent after everything you've done to sabotage my life?"

Bekah scoffed. "You don't even need my help. You fuck it up enough on your own."

"I really don't need to hear this from you," Lexi said shaking her head and turning the other direction.

"Bekah just leave her alone. Don't you think you've done enough damage?" Ramsey asked glaring at his sister.

"I am your sister!" she cried staring at him in disbelief. "I am only trying to look out for you."

"By trying to hurt my girlfriend?" he asked looking at her like she was mentally impaired.

"By protecting you," she said grasping for straws.

"Oh that always worked out so well in your favor," Lexi said rolling her eyes. "Going to convince another girl to get an abortion to save your skin?" Lexi spat at her.

The room went silent. She hadn't even meant to say that out loud, but something about Bekah just made her snap. She hated her with everything she had. She wanted nothing more than for her to live a long and miserable life filled with heartache and loneliness. It was what she deserved after all the deception and lies. She wanted to tear her down as much as she had torn Lexi down. She knew it was wrong and that she should take the higher ground, but she just hadn't been able to.

The words had just slipped right out. She knew it was wrong to bring something like that up especially when it was still such a touchy subject for Ramsey. But what kind of person convinces her best friend to have an abortion when it's her brother's child? Moreover, she didn't even let Ramsey have a say in the decision. He didn't even know about the baby. She was so sick of this woman getting away with everything when she was truly the evil person in this situation.

"What…are…you…talking about?" Bekah asked her voice shaking.

"Lexi," Ramsey hissed grabbing her elbow.

"What is she talking about Ramsey?" Bekah demanded spinning around to face him.

"You know what I'm talking about. Stop acting so ignorant of the situation," Lexi responded. Ramsey's grip on her elbow tightened and she snapped her mouth close. She had gone too far. He didn't talk about these things. He didn't bring these things up, and here she had just announced the details to an entire group of people. Even if no one else really knew what was going on they were sure to think the worst. This seemed to be a conversation he had avoided having with Bekah. Lexi had figured they had already had it out about his suspicions that Bekah had convinced Parker to have an abortion. How wrong could she be?

"How does this involve me?" Bekah asked seething.

"We can talk about this later," Ramsey said pleading with Bekah not to continue the conversation.

"Hell no we can't. I want everything out on the table. What is this bitch talking about?" she growled.

"That's my girlfriend Bek," he said warningly.

"Hey!" Lexi cried at the same time.

"Well start answering questions then," she said angrily.

Ramsey sighed. He couldn't believe that of all days to have this conversation, it was going to be today on Bekah's wedding day. "I know what happened with Parker," he said hesitantly hating himself for bringing this up.

"What happened with Parker?" she growled

"That she didn't miscarry," he said barely louder than a whisper.

Bekah's mouth popped open and her face blanched. Even through her coat of makeup, Lexi could tell that she had lost all color in her skin. She looked shell-shocked that the conversation had come around to this topic. "She did Ramsey."

Ramsey shook his head. He knew that she would say that. He knew that she would deny it. This is the exact reason he had never discussed this with Bekah. He knew her horrible secret, but he hadn't meant for the world to know about it. He hadn't ever wanted her to know that he knew. He had been furious enough with himself after it had happened because he hadn't known…hadn't been able to stop it. He hadn't wanted anyone else to feel that kind of pain. He hadn't wanted Bekah to be involved. "She didn't miscarry Bek. I know she didn't."

"How could you know that?" she asked her hands shaking in front of her. "You weren't even there."

"I don't want to argue about this with you. God knows I've argued with Parker enough about it. She'll never admit to it and neither will you, but I know what I know," he said with a sad shrug.

"I can't believe you're bringing this up," she said turning the full force of her anger on Lexi. "You have no right to go digging into other people's lives."

"Oh that's rich coming from you," Lexi said rolling her eyes. "Didn't you ask me to Atlanta just to fuck with me?"

"I didn't ask you to come here. Actually, I never invited you to my wedding. I would have much preferred you stay away from me and my family," she growled.

"You don't get a choice in the matter," Lexi said looking up at Ramsey. She knew that it was probably a bad move to challenge Bekah. After all she was a major bitch and who knew what she would reduce to in an effort to hurt Lexi again. But there just wasn't anything left for Bekah to say about Lexi. She had no more cards left. Lexi wasn't exactly going around telling her secrets about her life. She had tried to steer clear of Bekah for a solid year hoping that it had paid off.

"Maybe I don't, but Ramsey does," Bekah said with a sinister smile that Lexi recognized. "If he knew the truth about you…"

Ramsey shook his head stepping between his sister and his girlfriend. "Would you both calm down? Bekah, Lexi is right. You have no say in whether or not I see Lexi. Lexi, Bekah is right in that you had no right to bring up this kind of stuff in front of everyone. You both need to calm down. It is your wedding day. I can't believe you're even here right now having this argument," he said in disgust.

Lexi took a step back from Bekah. She knew that she had been out of line, but she hadn't been able to see anything other than Bekah when she was fighting with her. It was like they were meant to argue. She was blinded to the rest of the world. Her vision went blurry. Her senses were dulled. All she could see was the bitch that was standing in front of her and the anger that bubbled up at the very mention of her name. But she couldn't be that person in front of Ramsey. It was, after all, his sister. He wasn't just going to completely turn his back on her, even if Lexi thought he should.

"Sorry," she murmured taking a few more steps back and standing next to Chyna who looked a little shell-shocked from the argument that had just occurred.

"Well I'm not sorry," Bekah called.

"Bek maybe you should calm down," Jack intervened. He too looked amazed at the showdown between the two loves of his life.

"I should calm down?" she snarled. "She's the one who cheated on my brother."

Once again the room fell silent. Everyone slowly turned to look at Lexi who looked just as stunned as everyone else. Lexi had no idea how she had come to that conclusion. Then it hit her. Bekah must have thought that the phone call she had been in the room for…her Mystery Man…was someone that she had been seeing while she had been dating Ramsey. While she wasn't far off, Lexi could proudly say that she had never cheated on Ramsey. They had been broken up when it had happened. She hadn't expected to get back together with him. But this did not look good for her.