Текст книги "Beautifully Shattered"

Автор книги: Courtney Kristel

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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 31 страниц)

Chapter Ten

When I step outside into the humid air, I see two cars waiting for me. Logan’s and Connor’s. Because driving one car is so difficult. I’ve never understood driving in New York, especially when they have drivers. You never know when the guys will have a driver. As far as I can tell, their current mood dictates being behind the wheel. Which is strange when I think about it because sometimes I get the impression that Logan fears being behind the wheel because of what happened to our family.

“Connor’s taking you back to his place while I get the food.”

I shake my head as I walk into his open arms. When I turn towards Connor, he slides off the hood of his car. He engulfs me into a hug. When I pull back, he clutches me tighter to him, refusing to let go. I bite him on his forearm.

He shouts, “Ow Addie! Only in the bedroom! How many times do I have to tell you?” as he rubs his chest. “Does Jax like it rough?” he whispers so only I can hear.

I don’t know if I should reprimand him for risking that comment or if I want to kick him in the shin for bringing up Jax.

“Leave her alone, Connor! I swear if you were anyone else you would be dead for talking to her like that. Go with the jackass and I’ll get the burgers.”

I hug my brother. “Don’t forget about Kohen’s burger.” I slide into the passenger side and yank the door from Connor’s grasp to slam it.

Connor grins at me and faces my brother. The window is down so I can hear everything he says to Logan.

“She just sank her teeth into me and you’re mad at me?” He claps my brother on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll get her to fall in line with all the others.”

We ignore him. My brother shakes his head at Connor before leaving. I can’t believe Connor has the nerve to say something about Jax in front of Logan.

“Love you too!” Connor shouts at him.

Logan flips him off before getting into his car and peeling out into New York traffic. I love my brother.

I give Connor the silent treatment the entire ride. He tries to make me talk by putting on the worst pop music in the world. And I do mean the worst! I won’t let it get to me. I won’t let it get to me. Drown it out. It’s just music. I smile sweetly at him, not willing to play into his games. He turns it up even more. I won’t let it get to me . . . I won’t let it—

“God you’re so annoying!” I snatch his iPhone and switch it to actual music. “Why do you even have this crap on here?”

“Just to annoy you,” he says with a secretive smile.

“Right!” I go back to ignoring him.

“Come on, Addie, it was funny.”

I yank my hand away. “Funny? Really? So telling all of New York your immature joke is funny to you? Or saying something about Jax in front of Logan? Sorry, your humor is lost on me.”

“Don’t be dramatic, Addie, it wasn’t all of New York.” He laughs at me.

“And what about the Jax comment?”

“What about it? Logan didn’t hear me.”

It’s a good thing he’s driving and not me. I wait for him to elaborate, ask more questions, but he never does. I’m kind of glad. I don’t want to hear about Jax right now. I made the decision to move on. Or at least be distracted enough to attempt to move on.

“Gah I hate you, you do know this, right?” I mutter because I can’t help myself.

He knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s making me think of his best friend right before I go out with someone else. As if I needed a reminder of Jax.

He stops at a green light and leans over to kiss my cheek, not caring in the slightest at the angry New Yorkers honking at us.

“Oh my God, it’s green, Connor!”

“Tell me you love me.”

How does he even have a license? “Fine, I love you, now drive.”

“You wish is my command, sis.” He pats my knee. “I’m sorry about that Jax comment . . . Just don’t give up on him.”

“What does that even mean?”

He shrugs and focuses on not killing us. The rest of the drive, the only thing on my mind is Jax. I hate that I can’t stop thinking about him and I hate that it’s Connor’s fault for bringing him up. He tries to put his arm over my shoulder as we walk into his building, but I pull away. I’m still upset.

And then he gives me his sad face, complete with pouting lips. Even though I’m still irked at him for not explaining what he means about Jax, I lean against him, loving how safe he makes me feel. As much as I hate to admit it, I love Connor’s unique sense of humor.

Once we’re inside, Connor marches over to his kitchen and makes a sandwich. The only thing that he knows how to make without burning himself, or anything in the near vicinity. I settle onto a barstool.

My eyes are glued to his flat stomach as he inhales his turkey and roast beef sandwich. Logan will be here soon with dinner, but no, someone can’t wait that long. It’s amazing that Connor’s not a whale with how much food he consumes. I’m about to tell him that he needs to watch his diet when he opens his big mouth, filled with the bite he just took. Someone didn’t learn their manners when they were younger. I make a mental note to bring this up at Thanksgiving with his parents. It’s always entertaining to watch Connor’s mom treat him like a small child who needs his food cut.

“When are you meeting the good doctor? I still can’t believe you haven’t told him you’re coming back here and not going on a date.” He holds his fist out for a fist-bump. I shove it away and check the time on my phone.

“Crap, I have to go. I’m late.”

As I scramble to stand, I trip over the barstool and almost fall flat on my face. Luckily Connor rushes to me and steadies me.

“The chair tried to kill me. Be back soon.”

He chuckles as he walks me out. “Oh yes, it was my murderous chair and not my sister who can’t walk a straight line sober.”

“Be nice . . . so basically don’t be you,” I say before the elevator doors close in his face.

As I enter the coffee shop, all the chaos overwhelms me. How the heck am I going to find Kohen? I didn’t need to worry, his beautiful smiling face stands out in the sea of people. He leans against the wall with two coffee cups in his hands. I fight the urge to wrinkle my nose. I hate hot coffee. I’m a frappuccino girl all the way.

As I make my way towards him, I notice that the majority of women are stealing glances at him or bluntly staring. Some women have no shame. Then again, I can’t blame them. He’s easy to look at especially tonight. He’s sporting dark jeans and a white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, displaying his muscular forearms. It’s simple, yet sexy in a mouthwatering way. Jax looks better. My subconscious is nice enough to remind me of something that I’m very aware of. I don’t care, I’m not comparing the two. I’m not that girl.

It isn’t until I’m in front of him that I realize I’ve been gawking at him with my mouth wide open. I promptly shut it. His grin is sinfully sexy, with a hint of danger. I think it’s forced though, he doesn’t seem like anyone who could be dangerous. He’s the boy-next-door. He extends his hand. I accept the coffee without making a face. Go me!

“Thanks.” Tentatively I take a sip and I’m pleasantly surprised it’s my one and only favorite hot drink.

Mmm, I love this chocolatey goodness. It seems too big of a coincidence for him to just guess my favorite drink. I open my mouth to ask him about it, but I’m struck speechless when he wipes a dab of chocolate from my lip and sucks his thumb into his mouth. Holy-hotness. Talk about a bold move. It’s been too long since I’ve flirted with anyone besides Jax. I’m way out of my league when it comes to Kohen. Any man if I’m being honest. Flirting? Me? Ha, what a joke!

Leaning in so his lips brush against my ear, he whispers, “Mmm, Adalynn and chocolate . . . my favorite.”

I would be lying if I said he doesn’t affect me. I meet his azure eyes, attempting to figure him out. No luck. I have a sinking feeling he’s not the man that he appears. He’s wearing a mask, too. Can I make him take it off? Will I take mine off for him and open up to him? I seriously doubt it. I don’t want anyone to know me. I like being isolated. You sure about that? I have no idea what I want anymore. I do know I need to make sure this man is real. I reach out to touch him, but I’m pushed from behind. I accidentally bump into Kohen and spill my boiling hot drink down my chest.

I suck in a breath. Fuck, that’s hot. In a split second Kohen has me behind him in a protective gesture and is confronting some poor teenager terrified for his life. I forget about my boiling skin and focus on the scene in front of me. Kohen says something too low for me to hear and the teenager’s eyes nearly bulge out of his head. Whatever it is, it isn’t pleasant and is very unnecessary. I attempt to move in front of Kohen to apologize, but he’s holding me behind him, trapping me. It takes all my willpower to not smack the back of his head to get his attention. He’s making a scene. People are staring.

He leans into the guy’s face and says something else. The teenager and his friends practically run out of the coffee shop. Kohen releases my wrist. His body shudders with the effort to calm down before he faces me. I’m expecting rage in his eyes, but he’s composed as if he didn’t just make a scene and scare the crap out of some poor kids. What just happened? If it wasn’t for my sore wrist, I would think that I’ve imagined the whole thing. I look from my wrist, that has the clear indentation of his hands wrapping around it, to his face. The sadness I see there makes whatever nasty comment I was going to make die on my tongue.

Caressing his face I say, “Hey, it’s okay, it was an accident.”

He doesn’t say anything. He lightly traces his index finger over the red mark on my wrist.

“It was an accident. Now let’s go eat some burgers and watch a movie.”

I nearly have to drag him out of the coffee shop. When we cross the street, I can tell he’s coming out of his sulky mood. We’re almost at Connor’s building when he squeezes my hand, letting me know that he’s back to normal and we’re gonna have a good night. The jury is still out on that one, I still haven’t told him we aren’t having dinner by ourselves. Maybe he hates surprises like me. Only one way to find out.

I swipe the access card to the penthouse. Once the elevator start its rise to the top, it’s clear I’m not taking him to a restaurant.

“Since I already know you don’t live here, mind telling me where you’re taking me?” Kohen asks.

Well, there goes the surprise. I wonder how he’s going to take the news. I square my shoulders, preparing for battle. Here goes nothing.

“Connor’s,” I respond in a voice that would make any cheerleader proud.

He doesn’t speak. I’m gonna say this is good news. We’re almost at the top floor when Kohen breaks the silence.

“Sure that’s such a safe idea?” I give my what-the-heck look. “Last time we tried this I’m pretty sure one of them was trying not to punch me.”

Instantly, I picture The God’s too gorgeous face. I force out a laugh, pretending like I have no idea what he means.

“You were the one who assumed I didn’t have plans tonight, so now you have to suffer along with me.” When the elevators open into Connor’s foyer, I stand on my tiptoes and give Kohen a quick kiss. “Besides, nobody wanted to punch you.”

Hand-in-hand, we stroll through Connor’s penthouse while I hope that Jax shows up tonight. That would be the last thing I need, but I’m mature enough to admit that I want him to see me with someone else.

Before I give Kohen a small tour of the main level, I kick off my shoes because I hate the clicking they make on the marble floor. Besides, Connor’s cleaning lady cleans too well; his floor is slippery. I may or may not have broken my finger slipping on it one time. I point out one of the bathrooms on the way to the kitchen. I fetch beers from the state-of-the-art-fridge before leading him to the living room where the noise is coming from.

From the corner of my eye, I notice Kohen studying the pictures in the hallway. I slow my pace but don’t stop. He admires a black and white painting before striding to my side. He takes in the lavish decor as I lead him around Connor’s bachelor pad.

The guys sit on the black leather couch, playing some sort of shooting video game. Guys. You would think at twenty-eight, Connor would grow up, but you’d be wrong. His place hints at the playboy that I’ve always known him to be. Connor settling down is as likely as me growing another limb.

Dinner runs smoothly. It was a little touch-and-go in the beginning with Logan and Connor interrogating Kohen. Once Twenty Questions were over and they were satisfied I could be interested in a decent guy, dinner becomes relatively normal.

Kohen jokes along with the guys. He even thinks Connor is funny, which surprises me a little. Connor’s sense of humor is a lot like mine. You either love it, or you think he’s an ass. Stealing my last fry, Connor looks innocently at me. Too innocently. Oh no, this isn’t good.

“So Addie must really like you,” Connor says at the same time Logan says, “She’s trying to impress him, Connor.”

“Why do you say that?” Kohen asks.

Logan and Connor wear the purest expressions. I don’t buy it. I scowl at both of them, silently daring them to say something. I have my foot ready. I haven’t kicked either of them all night. That’s a success in my book. The night’s still early, that voice in my head taunts. They nod at each other and have a silent conversation. I hate when they do that. Connor’s grin nearly breaks his face in two. This is bad, very bad.

“Well, she was able to eat her entire burger while being a lady.”

Logan nods in agreement. “Yeah, she didn’t even stuff her face like usual, Connor.”

“She must really like you,” Connor says again.

I’m debating what excuse will get us to leave so they can’t embarrass me any further when Kohen starts laughing with them. I was so consumed by not blushing that I missed Kohen making a mess of himself. I give him a grateful smile when I see the remains of his burger all over his face.

“Touché, you two are perfect for each other.” Logan winks at me.

Connor picks some action movie that I’ve never heard of. Not surprisingly, it has the same plot of most movies about secret agents. Kohen and I sit together on one couch while the guys take the much bigger one. Kohen circles his arm around me and I lean into him.

I keep pretending that I don’t notice every time Connor glances over, but I do. Each time I feel guilty and I feel as if I’m doing something wrong. I can’t shake this feeling that I need to put some distance between Kohen and me. Logan comments to Kohen about the last scene. I can’t even pretend to know what they’re talking about so I tune them out. I stopped paying attention to the movie five minutes into it. Connor’s scrutinizes me again. I force myself to ignore him and focus on the movie, but it’s no use.

I stare down Connor, wondering why he’s watching my every move. He gives me a sympathetic look and it becomes crystal clear why he’s watching every interaction of my date. The lightbulb goes off.

Jax.

I hold in my humorless laugh. Everything leads back to the one guy who doesn’t love me. I nestle closer into Kohen because I’m not going to second guess everything I do with someone who actually likes me. As I concentrate on the movie, Kohen runs his fingertips along my shoulder and down my arm. If I didn’t feel guilty using Kohen as a distraction, I would enjoy his simple defiance of my brother and Connor. He doesn’t seem to mind touching me in front of them. I hate that I want to push him away from me because I feel as if I’m cheating on Jax.

As the end credits roll, I mentally curse myself for falling in love with the damaged boy who trusted me to take care of him when he used to sneak into my bedroom growing up. Ignoring the questioning look Logan sends my way, I rise and collect my purse. I plaster on a fake smile when I face the guys. For the first time tonight, I’m glad Jax isn’t here. He would be able to see right through me, and that’s not something I want or need right now.

“Ready to head out?” I ask Kohen.

I can tell my mood change catches him off guard, but he recovers quickly. “Absolutely.” He assures my brother, “I’ll make sure she gets home safely.”

Logan shakes his offered hand. “Alone,” he says in a brotherly tone that isn’t necessary.

I could die of mortification.

Connor rescues Kohen from any more brotherly advice by smoothly slapping Logan on the back of the head. “What Logan means is, thank you for making sure Addie gets home safely.”

Kohen forces out a laugh. “Yeah . . . no problem.”

They escort us to the elevators and before Logan decides to join us, I rush to hug him and then Connor.

“Give it time,” Connor whispers into my ear.

The cab ride to our building is long and awkward. Every time things start to get normal between us again, an image of Jax pops into my head, shattering our conversation. I tell myself it’s because I haven’t seen him in forever and I miss my friend. As the car pulls up to the curb, I almost sigh in relief.

Once we’re in the elevator, I look up to apologize for my bipolar behavior, but the words stick in my throat. Kohen watches me with his dark, stormy eyes. Since words are nonexistent at this point, I try for another tactic. I lean up on my tiptoes and kiss him. His kiss is nothing like Jax’s. Where Jax is passionate, Kohen is tender. I break away from the kiss as soon as I realize that I’m comparing the two.

Breathless Kohen, seems influenced by our kiss. His eyes are full of desire. I want to throw up. This is wrong and unfair to him. Luckily the elevator gods decide to have pity on me. They finally stop at my floor.

“Next time it will be a real date.” I step out.

“I’ll hold you to that. Good night, Adalynn.”

I make it back to my apartment and sink to the floor. Why am I still obsessed with Jax after all this time? Why can’t I just move on? Why can’t I even remember the sensation from Kohen’s lips on mine? Forcing myself off the floor, I concentrate on getting ready for bed.

Three weeks have flown by since that unforgettable dinner at Connor’s. Liv is a thorn in my butt that I can’t shake . . . not like I really want to, anyway. I’ve been seeing the change in myself and I won’t jeopardize my progress. Kohen has become a permanent fixture in my life. We usually have dinner together unless he’s working. Connor and Logan, Yankees season pass holders, invited him to a game. Liv seems pleased that I’m dating, she just cautions me to take it slow.

Luckily Kohen treats me with extreme patience. Which is great because every time things get interesting between us, I think of Jax. I have to concentrate on removing Jax from my mind, total mood killer. Kohen thinks I’m just not ready to take the next logical step in our . . . whatever we are . . . but the truth is I don’t want to do anything with him that I will regret. I have a sinking feeling that if I’m with him, I’ll be thinking of Jax. So until I no longer have to force my thoughts off Jax, I can’t take that much needed next step. It’s unfair to Kohen.

Jax avoids me at all costs. I’m not even worth the effort for him to nod in greeting. I hate that he’s ignoring me. Sure, when I’m at the office he mumbles two words to me in passing if someone is around. I learned pretty fast to give up on conversation. If he doesn’t want to talk to me, fine, I’m not going to beg him. I’m not a dog. Jax makes excuse after excuse so he isn’t forced to be around me. It’s a good thing Connor is aware of what’s going on because he helps me distract Logan.

As much as it hurts to not have Jax in my life anymore, I know that him pushing me away is the best thing that he could have ever done for me. He’s not my savior, and I need to stop thinking that one day we might end up together.

“Order ready for Addie,” a server calls out, jerking me out of my thoughts.

I jump up from the bench and snag two salads for the lunch I’m surprising Kohen with, since he’s working all night. He didn’t take anything with him and he usually forgets to eat unless someone forces him to sit down. Lately I’ve become that person. I jog out the door and hail down a cab.

When I reach the hospital, a passing nurse gives me directions on where to find him. I head into another corridor and come across Kohen facing a young guy in scrubs.

“I know I’m sorry, it won’t happen again,” the man says, with exasperation.

“Sorry. That’s all you have to say? I could have you fired for this!” Kohen shouts.

“I’m not going to make excuses, there are none. This won’t happen again I promise.” The guy’s eyes bulge out of his head as if he’s afraid. He doesn’t know Kohen as well as I do because he wouldn’t hurt anyone.

An older doctor steps out of a room and notices the situation unfolding. It takes him about a nanosecond to guess what’s going on.

“It’s an easily corrected mistake that happens with interns, Dr. Daniels. He won’t let this slip by again and just to make sure it sticks, he’s going to be doing grunt work for the next three months.”

The older guys pats Kohen on the shoulder and walks away, leaving Kohen and the intern alone. When the other doctor is out of sight, Kohen grabs the intern by his throat and slams him into the wall. When Kohen has the intern’s attention, he releases his throat but doesn’t back away. Instead Kohen whispers into his ear. The intern can only nod because it’s clear from where I’m standing that he’s too terrified to speak.

I’m speechless. I know that I need to stop this from happening, but I can’t make my legs move. I’m transfixed as Kohen tells him something unimaginable. I watch in horror as the blood slowly drains out of the intern’s face. I can’t even pretend to know what he’s telling him. I release my death-like grip on the bag. The salads crash to the floor. Suddenly my legs move on their own accord.

Out of nowhere, Kohen backs away. I have no idea if I’ve yelled his name or if he heard my too-loud feet. The guy sinks to the floor. Immediately I squat down beside him, ignoring Kohen. I have no idea how much time has passed, but it feels like hours, not minutes. I can’t believe Kohen reacted this way. I desperately want to know what he said that was so terrifying.

“Are you okay?” I ask like an idiot. Obviously he’s not.

“Yes . . . Fine,” the intern wheezes as he glares at Kohen.

Brave man. I help him rise and when he’s finally able to stand on his own, I take a small step back, but keep myself in between him and Kohen. I don’t know this guy, but I need to protect him. There’s no telling what Kohen’s capable of. As I turn to face Kohen, the intern mumbles something under his breath that I don’t hear. Kohen does.

In the next second, Kohen shoves me out of the way and slams the intern into the wall. I land onto the hard ceramic floor. I feel as if all air has left me. I can’t believe I’m dating someone like Wyatt, Jax’s abusive father. I swallow the bile rising.

It isn’t until Kohen comes up behind me that I realize the intern is nowhere to be seen. I jump to my feet and put a good distance between us.

“Don’t touch me,” I warn.

I’m so mad at myself for not seeing the abusive man standing in front of me. My body hums with the anger coursing through my body. I’m furious with Kohen. I stalk away from him, leaving our lunch on the floor, but he stops me by wrapping his hands around my forearm.

“Ads, wait. I’m sorry, let me explain, please.”

I don’t know if it’s the fact that I just watched him slam his intern into the wall, that he touched when I told him not to, or that he called me Ads, but for whatever reason I slap his face as hard as I can. Each one is reason enough in my book. Without another word, I flee.

The entire ride back to my apartment is a blur of every moment I’ve spent with him. I try to pinpoint times when I could have noticed his abusive tendencies, but I come up blank. It’s scary how much you think you know someone, just to be proven wrong. Can you really ever know somebody?

After finishing a ten mile run through Central Park, I still don’t have any answers. I don’t know how I didn’t see that Kohen is exactly like Wyatt. He has been nothing but perfect since I’ve met him. He doesn’t even give off that too-nice vibe. He just seems to have the same amount of worries as everyone else.

With Jax’s father, Wyatt, it was obvious since the first time I met him that he was a troubled man. He showed it in everything that he did. Even when I was little, I knew that there was something wrong. As a kid, Jax would cower away from his father whenever he raised his hand or made any fast movements. I feared him from the moment I met him and even more so the first night I saw what he was capable of; the night that Jax finally let me in, and shared his burden.

Stumbling down the hallway leading to my apartment, I’m so preoccupied that I don’t realize someone is sitting beside my door until I trip over a pair of legs.

“Crap I’m—” The apology dies when Kohen leaps off the floor.

“Please, Adalynn, five minutes, and if you still don’t want to talk to me, I will never bother you again.”

I cross my arms over my chest and nearly yell, “Oh, so you expect to tell me some bullshit excuse that makes it okay to slam someone into a wall? Wow, this must be good. I can’t wait. You now have four minutes. Go.”

He runs his hands through his hair and down his face, exhaling loudly. He moves toward me, but when he sees me take two steps back, he gives up.

“Adalynn, you know me, I’m not the person you saw today. I lost it with Mike. I’ve been his mentor for so long I didn’t even think to make sure he knew what he was doing and I failed him. I was more mad at myself than him for expecting too much, so early, and I lost it.”

I roll my eyes and make a point to glance down at my phone to check the time. Times like this I wish I was wearing one of my watches.

“Simple mistakes like the one Mike made today can cost people their loved ones. Families can be ruined by one simple mistake.”

Guilt washes over his face. Before his eyes cast down, I see the sign of unshed tears. It’s almost enough for me to wrap my arms around him, but I need more from him. I stand frozen as I silently beg him to let me in, waiting for him to fill in the last puzzle piece.

“I know this doesn’t excuse the way I handled everything earlier, but all I saw when he told me what happened was the doctors explaining to my dad that the brain tumor was inoperable and she didn’t have much time. It was a simple mistake. If they were paying attention to the signs, they could have noticed it sooner and things may have been different. That’s all I saw today, I didn’t even realize what was happening until I heard you whisper my name.”

I hate that I feel badly for him. For the first time, I can see how broken he really is, like me. He’s not the perfect man I thought he was. More than anything, I hate that I can justify his actions. It’s painfully obvious how hard it is for him to share this, yet he is. I have no idea why, I’m nothing special. But for some reason, he thinks I’m worth it. I let him take a timid step towards me. He stops when he is a breath away from me.

“I’m so sorry for what you saw today. As much as I want to say I wish you weren’t there, I won’t lie to you. I’m glad you were,” he whispers.

“Why?” I whisper back.

“If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have stopped. You saved me from making the biggest mistake of my life.” Skimming his fingertips over my cheek, he gazes intently into my eyes. “I would never hurt you, Adalynn.”

I don’t know if it’s that I feel like our shared grief connects us on some level, or his obvious regret for his actions that makes me forgive him. Covering the hand caressing my cheek, I lean into his touch.

“I’m so sorry for running off like that. I should have let you explain. I know more than most people about losing yourself to your past, Kohen.”

Framing my face with his large, strong hands, Kohen asks, “Can you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive.”

Kohen kisses me as if he thinks I’m going to change my mind. Wanting him to believe that I’m here for him and to show him how happy I am that he opened up, I kiss him back with everything that I have. When he trails one of his hands down my neck, along my collarbone I pull back, breathless. His lust-filled eyes, reveal how he sees me. Beautiful. I open my mouth so I can slow things down, but he beats me to it.

“I’m going to go before I press my luck. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Sounds perfect.”

After saying goodbye to Kohen with a few more heavy kisses, I head to my bedroom to get ready for bed. As I undress, it becomes disgustingly clear that I was just making out with Kohen covered in sweat. Yum, I sure know how to be as sexy as possible with men. No wonder he didn’t try going further tonight. I wouldn’t want to do anything with me, either. I step out of my sweaty workout clothes and climb into the boiling hot shower.

I can’t believe how I treated Kohen earlier, I should have given him a chance to explain before fleeing. I know what he did was bad, but I shouldn’t have overreacted and slapped him. Okay, so he deserved the slap, but comparing him to Wyatt was inexcusable. I should have never have let that thought drift into my head. Wyatt is a poor excuse for a human being whereas Kohen is nearly perfect.

Kohen has been nothing but nice to me. Everyone at work adores him, minus Mike. Ugh, my stomach clenches. I almost let Kohen go just because of a misunderstanding. Thank God he didn’t just let me walk away from him. Letting me in and sharing his pain means more to me than he can ever realize. I’m so used to Jax shutting me out.

Kohen opened up to me even without the knowledge that I would listen. I can allow myself to plan things with him instead of always worrying he will leave without warning. He doesn’t strike me as the type to let me go so easily. I smile. No, he sure doesn’t. I pick up my phone.

Me: July 12 is Logan’s surprise party . . . You in?

Within seconds my phone beeps, making me exhale in relief upon opening it.

Kohen: Love to :)

As I’m texting him back the info of when and where, he responds before I can even hit the send button.