Текст книги "Desertion"

Автор книги: River Savage

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Текущая страница: 15 (всего у книги 23 страниц)

Twenty-Seven JESSE

“Then, he just drops his jeans, stands there butt naked, and starts swinging it around.” Holly’s hand comes down on the table in front of her, holding herself while she erupts in laughter. At my expense.

“That’s not how I remember it,” I counter, looking to Bell and wanting her to know my side. Not that I think it’s going to help. Kadence, Holly and Kelly have been reliving tale after tale of the shit I’ve gotten myself into. None of them flattering.

It’s later that night and we’ve just finished dinner. Kadence and Nix just escaped upstairs, no doubt to fuck. They’ve been all over each other all night, something the club is excited to see. After the last few months of drama between them, Kadence dealing with her own shit, seeing them back to the way things were last year brings us all peace.

“You were drunk, and naked. How do you remember it?” Kelly raises her brows in challenge.

“You swindled us.” I look to Sy, waiting for some back up. He doesn’t give it, too busy laughing with the women. Fucker. “You made out like you couldn’t even hold the cue.” I chuckle, remembering how well they got us.

“Serves you right for thinking you could beat girls.” Bell weighs in, shaking with laughter.

“I’m never going to live this down, am I?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

“Hell no,” both Kelly and Holly answer through their laughter.

“We need to play this game again,” Bell announces, and both the girls nod in agreement.

“Yes, we should. Next club BBQ.” Holly nods, even more excited to bring Bell in to the mix.

I push down the knot forming in my stomach at watching Bell sit and interact with my family. My club.

“Kelly, you ready?” Brooks calls out from the kitchen breaking up their laughter.

“I’ve been summoned. I’ll speak to you later.” Kelly stands, says her goodbyes then walks back inside.

“We should head out too. Mom and Dad probably need a break from babysitting.” Holly stands and gathers some beer bottles.

“Pretty sure your mom would adopt X if she could.” Sy stands and follows his wife around the table, picking up empty bottles with her.

“Yeah, you’re right. Okay, let’s stop for a quickie then. Night, guys.” Holly throws the bottles in the trash and takes Sy’s hand, pulling him inside.

“Night, guys.” Bell laughs, then gazes back to me. “You ready to go?”

“Yeah. You want me to take you home, or you wanna come back to the clubhouse?” I decide to give her an out. The dimple in her right cheek deepens at my question before she answers.

“Clubhouse. It’s late and I don’t have to be at work until tomorrow night.”

“Your parents okay with that?” I ask, further impressed by her attempt to step out of her parents’ hold. When I got the text earlier, I thought she was fucking with me. The last few weeks I’ve been pushing her to quit sneaking around, our opinions differing. Me not understanding her idea of protecting her parents, and she not understanding my concern with how unhealthy it seems.

It did worry me that she was allowing herself to open up more to me, when I wasn’t giving her anything in return, but I couldn’t think about that now. Now, I was just enjoying what we had. I would worry about the other stuff later.

“I already texted Mom. She was a little worried, but I told her you would take care of me.” She shrugs like it’s no big deal, but I know for her and her parents this is kind of huge.

“Good answer.” I stand and hold my hand out to her. She doesn’t hesitate, placing her hand in mine. I pull her up and crash my mouth to hers. She opens instantly and I don’t waste time. My tongue skirts along her lips, eager to taste her. Her hands move to my cut, grabbing me roughly and pulling me in so our bodies press against each other.

“Hmmm.” She releases a little moan when my hands move to her ass, my dick jumping at her whimper.

Needing more, but not wanting to take her here, I break the kiss.

“What if I chose home?” She pulls back and teases.

“Then I’d have to tie you to my bed.” Her lips part at my threat, before slowly creeping their way into a slow smile. “You like the sound of that.” I accuse, feeling my own grin grow wide, and my dick throbs even harder. Oh, the things I could do.

“I didn’t say that.” She steps back, lowering her brows.

“You didn’t have to, baby. I can tell you now, if I put my hands down your pants, you’d be wet with the thought.” The flush that creeps across her cheeks is enough to tell me I’m right. I don’t give her a chance to deny it; instead, I bend at the waist, place my shoulder to her stomach and lift her off her feet.

“Come on, or Nix might kick my ass for taking you on his back deck.” I start to move back inside, eager to get her out of here and back into my bed.

“Put me down. You can’t tie me up.” She hits me on my back.

“Shh, baby. I promise you’ll enjoy it.” She doesn’t reply, and my dick hardens.

Fuck me, the ride home just got uncomfortable, in the best kind of way.

“Fucking stay with me. I’m not going to let you die, Conner.”

I wake up to the heat of someone’s palm against my shoulder. Twisting around, my hand moves faster than my brain, and I snatch it off me.

“Jesse, it’s me, Bell,” she rushes out before I can take it any further.

“Fuck.” I release my grip on her arm and sit up, forcing myself back to the here and now.

“Did I hurt you?” I reach for her arm searching for any sign of a mark left by me.

“It’s fine. You barely touched me.” She holds her arm out letting me inspect it. I check it over one more time before releasing her and relaxing.

“You wanna talk about it?” I study her face, eyes calm, soft mouth. She’s not freaking out.

“Just some shit that visits my dreams sometimes, nothing that needs to touch you,” I reply, shocked I’m not retreating.

“I don’t mind, Jesse,” she pushes, and I almost cave. Almost.

“The last thing I want to do is talk about this shit, Bell.” She doesn’t argue or press, and I’m grateful for it. I don’t think I’d be able to keep my cool if she did.

“Come back to sleep.” She lies back down and I follow her. She doesn’t ask me any more questions, or make me feel like I need to tell her everything.

“That ever happens again, don’t wake me,” I warn. A menacing thought strikes through me picturing what could have happened if I didn’t wake in time. She’s lucky I didn’t hurt her, like the last time a woman touched me while I had a nightmare.

“You don’t always have to be so brave, Jesse.” Her hand moves to my dog tags. I don’t stop her. I’m starting to like the feeling of her hands touching them.

“Never tried to be, Bell. But talking doesn’t help me. Never has.” I think back to the time when I did try and it forced me out of control. Talking about those triggers only amplified my insecurities. When death sits afar, mocking you in the dangerous confines of your surroundings, it fucks with your head; nothing was going to change it.

Besides, my issues weren’t what I had done. They were what I had survived. My conscience wasn’t clear and my honor wasn’t clean.

“Promise me you won’t touch me.” I keep my tone even, controlled.

“I promise.” I take her hand in mine and bring it to my lips. Maybe one day I will let someone in. Let her in.

Today isn’t that day.

But today, I didn’t push her away.

That has to count for something.

Twenty-Eight BELL

“Bell, we have a glass wound. Need your help. Bay three.” Rebecca, a fellow nurse rushes past me as I finish up with cleaning a nasty graze a five-year-old earned when she fell off her bike.

“Coming,” I call out, ripping my disposable gloves off and dropping them in the nearest trash can. “Okay Mrs. Penn, the doctor will be in soon to assess that cut under Lara’s chin.” I turn my head and smile down at my little patient.

“Will I get a lollipop?” Her lip wobbles, but she doesn’t let the tears come.

Learning from past experiences, I turn back to her mom to make sure she’s allowed candy. She nods, giving me the okay. “Of course, you keep being fearless and I’ll tell Dr. Benson just how brave you are.” Her small grin grows wide and she turns to her mom in excitement.

“Sit tight.” I nod, then quickly duck out and make my way down to bay three.

Tonight’s shift in the ER has been crazy. One after another, we’ve been hit with cuts, breaks, falls, even fights. I was meant to finish my shift two hours ago, but with the way the night is going, I know there is no hope until we can clear some beds.

“Bell, I need you,” Rebecca calls again and I race the rest of the way. Pulling the curtain back, I take in the scene.

“What the fuck are you standing there for? Get this fucking thing out of me so I can get gone.” A big, burly man sitting on the bed curses. A large piece of glass is embedded into the top of his shoulder, protruding through his leather jacket.

“If you don’t calm down, sir, we’ll have to call security,” Rebecca warns, holding a pair of scissors.

“You’re not coming near my fucking cut with those scissors.” He continues to curse, looking from Rebecca to me.

“Can you deal with him? I need to clean the wound but he’s refusing to budge.” Rebecca hands me the scissors.

“Looks like you have no choice, sir.” I step forward to inspect the glass.

“You’re not fucking cutting it off. I’ll pull this fucker out myself before you cut it up,” he announces.

“It’s just a jacket,” I comment, running my eyes over the leather, and that’s when I catch the patch on the side.

Warriors of Mayhem.

Great, just who I want to work on. This man could have taken my sister. I force the thought out of my head. I promised Jesse I wouldn’t get involved with these men. I’m not breaking it.

“It’s more than just a jacket, sweetheart.” I flinch at the endearment, but nod because I get it. The way the Rebels wear theirs, I know what he means.

“Fine,” I agree, moving to the small basin in the corner to wash my hands and get gloved up.

“Rebecca, help me get set up,” I ask, drying my hands.

She gets to work, setting up everything we need. Turning back around, I catch the man watching me.

“You’re going to do it?” He opens his mouth and pushes his tongue slightly forward in disgust. Yeah, I feel the same way, asshole.

“We’re going to get the wound cleaned up before the doctor comes in. Do you have an issue with that,”—I look down at his chart to get his name—“Danger?” I tilt my head and pause. “Mr. Danger Hale?”

“That’s my name, baby. You wanna take a ride with Danger?” Clamping my lips together, I hold up my hand and ask for a minute.

“Sorry, you expect me to believe your name is Danger?” I find myself impressed he would try it.

“Check my ID. Not messing with you. My mom was loopy.” He shrugs then winces when he moves his shoulder with the piece of glass lodged in it.

“Yeah, sounds like it.” I agree, stepping in closer to begin.

“So how about that ride with Danger?” he smoothly replies, but I don’t respond. Calling Rebecca around, she stands beside me ready to assist as I slowly start to remove the glass.

Danger is quiet while I work, only taking a breath when I finally drop the glass in the metal bowl.

Working quickly, Rebecca helps him out of his cut then starts applying gauze to the gash.

After a few minutes of applying pressure to his wound, I take a look.

“Looks about twenty to twenty-five or so sutures.” I look up and catch his eyes raking over me. “We’ll clean the area, get you ready for a shot, and the doctor will have you stitched up in no time.”

“Shot?” Danger licks his lips.

“Don’t tell me, a biker named Danger doesn’t like needles?” Rebecca scoffs, and I watch him try to play it cool.

“Not really a fan of them.” He clears his throat, arranges his features, and then looks up at me. “Will you hold my hand?” He smirks and I hold back my eye roll. God, what is it with cocky men?

“No, but you can have a lollipop.” I let my smile drip in sweet fakeness, then turn and leave before he starts laying it on thick. I already have a man who does the cheesy lines, and he does them better.

“Shit,” I curse, dropping my dead cell phone back into my bag and continue to search for my keys.

“Bell, phone call,” Rebecca calls out before I can find them. Making my way back around the nurse’s station, I pick up the receiver.

“Hello?”

“Oh, thank God.” My mom sighs. “You’re okay.”

“What’s wrong, Mom?” My body locks when I hear the panic in her voice.

“You were meant to be home four hours ago, Bell. I couldn’t get you on your cell, so I thought you must still be at work, but then Jesse showed up and he was worried…” she trails off in a panic.

“Wait, Jesse was there?” My head falls to my hand as I start to play out that conversation. Mom and Jesse meeting for the first time. God help me.

“Yes, he just left.”

“My phone died. Emergency was crazy tonight. I had to stay back. I was just leaving.” I explain my lateness through clenched teeth. I thought we were moving past this, and now Jesse starts?

“Okay, good. I was fine until Jesse turned up. Then I was… I’m sorry,” she whispers, making me feel bad.

“It’s okay, Mom. Listen, I’ll be home in fifteen.”

“Drive safe,” she warns before I drop the phone back in its cradle.

“You okay?” Rebecca asks when I go back to looking for my keys.

“Yeah, my mom just wondering where I was. All good.” My hand finally finds the cool metal of my keys. “Okay, I’m off.” I look up and wave to Rebecca on my way out.

“You on tomorrow?” she calls out before I can escape.

“Nope, I have two days off.” I sigh, looking forward to a shower and some decent sleep.

“Oh, okay, thanks for staying tonight.”

“No problem.” I give her one more wave over my shoulder and exit the front glass doors. The air is cold, and because I wasn’t expecting to stay so late, I didn’t bring a coat. Great. Shifting my bag, I wrap my arms around my front and use my hands to rub my upper arms.

“Nurse Bell?” My name is called. Turning to the voice, I’m surprised when I find Danger standing there. Legs crossed at the ankle, leather jacket back in place. The small hole where the glass cut is barely visible against the dark night. He drops his cigarette to the ground and stubs it out with his boot before walking the rest of the way to me. My legs lock for reasons I don’t know, but the closer he moves to me, the more indecisive I become standing here.

“You finished for the night?” He comes to stand directly in front of me, uncomfortably close. His breath is thick on my face and without thinking, I step back.

“Yep, all done.” I force a smile past my uneasiness as I try to control my racing heart.

His eyes narrow at my retreat, his lips tighten before morphing back into a grin I’m sure he thinks women fall for.

“Good, so you’re free to go get a drink.” The dimple in his chin grows as his eyes do a sweep over my body.

“Ahh, sorry, Danger. I’ve worked a double and I’m beat,” I politely decline and begin to turn away when his hand reaches out and grabs me, stopping me from my departure.

“Oh, come on, baby. You don’t have to play hard to get with me.” He tugs me back and steps in closer, our bodies colliding with force.

“Ump.” A pained breath leaves my lips as his hand fists my hair and tugs, forcing me to look up.

“I saw the way you were looking at me.”

My body is screaming at me to fight, to pull away, but I’m suspended between confusion and terror.

“I wasn’t—”

“You’ve got five seconds to remove your fucking hands off my woman, or I’ll break every one of your fucking fingers.” Jesse’s voice cuts through the fog that was slowly but surely suffocating me.

“The fuck?” Danger turns, but doesn’t release me. “She belongs to you?” He spits the last question at Jesse, anger dripping with every word.

“Did I fucking stutter when I told you to get your fucking grubby paws off her?” Jesse replies and I want to cry out and beg him to take him down now, but I don’t. I keep my eyes on Jesse waiting for his next move.

“So this is the bitch you’re ready to go to war over?” Danger releases his hold on me and steps back just as Jesse moves in, hand lurching forward straight to Danger’s neck.

“You call her a bitch again, see what happens.” Danger’s gaze moves from me to Jesse then back to me, weighing up his options. “Don’t fucking look at her. You look at me, cocksucker. You’re on our turf. You fucking show me respect.” The veins in Jesse’s hand grow as his grip tightens around Danger’s neck.

“Jesse.” I try to calm him, but I know it’s not going to work. Not even a little.

“You’re five seconds from me fucking you right up.” Danger’s eyes leave mine and move back to Jesse.

“You start anything you know there will be a war.” He tries to reason with Jesse, but from where I’m standing Jesse doesn’t seem to care.

“You don’t think there’s one brewing already? You have information I want. I’m already looking for a fucking reason to bring you down.”

“Even if I knew, I wouldn’t fucking tell you, cunt.” Danger spits, trying to shake out of Jesse’s hold.

“You think I’m fucking with you? You and I both know I can hand you your ass right now for touching my woman. But I’m willing to let it slide one time. You give me the name I want and I’ll let you walk away with some dignity.” Jesse doesn’t relent, holding Danger firmly in his grasp.

“You want me to go against my Prez?”

“I want you to fucking man up and help me find an innocent woman.” They hold each other’s stare, neither one giving in.

“Danger, just tell him what you know.” I try to plead, eager for the information, but also because Jesse’s hold is only growing tighter.

“You’re better off fucking shooting me. I’m not fucking spilling anything.” Danger doesn’t budge and I have to give it to him. He’s loyal.

“Jesse, please let’s just go. He’s not going to tell you anything.” I decide to focus on Jesse.

Jesse doesn’t say anything, but the tick in his jaw tells me he’s weighing his options.

“This here, it’s not over, asshole. You’re going to turn around, get on your bike and get the fuck out of my face. Do you get me?” Danger flashes a smile that hides his unease and nods, agreeing to Jesse’s order. Accepting his nod for his understanding, Jesse releases him with a shove. He turns his body away from Danger, dismissing him and giving me his full attention.

“The fuck you talking to that motherfucker for, Bell?” Jesse wraps his hand around my wrist and pulls me closer to him.

“What?” I ask, a terrified tremor in my voice.

“Fuck, baby, come here.” He takes me in his arms and folds me into his embrace. I sag against his hard chest, my heart rate racing to an all time high.

“Fuck, Bell. You had me worried.” He lets out a breath, holding me tighter.

“Why were you here? How did you…?” I try to focus, but my head is scrambled and my limbs become heavy.

“Tried to get you on the phone earlier, but it just went to voicemail. You told me you were finishing at seven. Something didn’t feel right, so I dropped by your house, spoke to your mom. She hadn’t heard from you either. Wanted to make sure you had left work.” He shakes his head, his eyes still burning brightly with anger.

“I’m glad you did,” I admit, brushing away thoughts of what might have happened if he didn’t.

“I’m taking you to the clubhouse. I’ll send Hunter for your car.” He takes my bag from my hands and moves to tuck me under his arm.

“I should just go home.” Not wanting to make a huge fuss, I pull back.

“I’m not letting you drive tonight.”

“Jesse, it’s not—” I start to argue that my mom is expecting me but his finger moves to my mouth, silencing me.

“Didn’t ask for your permission, sweetheart.” He squeezes me against his side and moves us to where his bike is parked.

“Thank you.” I stop and look up at him. “If you weren’t here…” I trail off, not needing to continue. He leans down and presses his lips to mine in a gentle kiss that in one breath soothes my burden, and manages to make me lose my fight.

“I would have killed that fucker, Bell.” He pulls back and places the helmet on my head.

“I think you managed to get your point across without committing a felony.” I straddle the seat, remembering how fired up he was seeing another man touch me.

“Don’t act cute. I’m still pissed.” He climbs on in front of me. Scooting forward, I place my arms around his middle and wait for him to start his bike.

“What? It was kind of hot.” I smile into his back waiting for his reaction.

“Yeah? Well, hold on to that thought, baby. My head might be calm, but my dick is still fucking seething from that cock sucker having his hands on you.”

I roll my eyes, but don’t stop my grin from growing. “Do you ever not think about your cock?”

“When I eat? Don’t like thinking about my cock then,” he jokes, and I let out a sharp laugh.

“I lo—” I start to say, the word becoming strangled when I realize what I started to blurt. Jesse stays quiet, the night air crackling between us.

“You do know I’m trying right, Bell?” He breaks the silence, without turning around.

I want to tell him maybe it’s not enough for me. Maybe I am selfish and I need more, but I don’t, because deep down I know it is.

I might never have all of Jesse, and maybe that wouldn’t be enough for someone else, but for me, it always would be. I would hold onto it with everything I had because it was more than he ever thought he could give.

“I do, Jesse.” A sigh moves past my lips as I rest my cheek to his back. He doesn’t say another word, the rumble of his pipes ending the conversation. And instead of worrying I’m going to run him away, I settle in against him knowing he’s trying.

‘Cause that is all I can ask for.

“Oh, God, fuck yeah.” Jesse groans, rolling his hips deeper. I keep my hands above my head in the same position he ordered me in.

“Who do you belong to?” he asks, setting my heart on fire.

“You,” I answer, giving him what he wants.

“And this tight little pussy?” He continues to deliver his questions with a roll of his hips, each one pushing me back into my own personal Jesse fog.

“You.”

“Damn fucking straight.” His grin turns wicked, possessive.

“Ahhhh!” I close my eyes when his thumb finds my clit, working it harder.

“Look at me, sweetheart. Need to see it.” I open my eyes and watch a wild look wash over his face. My orgasm claws at me, begging me to let go, but I hold on to it, waiting for the moment. “Fuck, sooo good. So fucking good.” He repeats, each confession burns a memory into my soul.

“Jesse.” I’m unable to hold on any longer.

“I have you, baby, always,” he encourages, and it’s all I need to tip me over. My hands move from over my head, breaking his order and up into his hair. Spreading my fingers wide, I pull hard enough to push him over the edge. He loses his composure, a pained shout erupts from him, and then he’s falling apart.

“Fuckkkkk!” He pumps his hips over and over, and I become undone. Body slick with sweat, he lowers himself to me. We stay like this for what feels like hours, days, hell, weeks could have passed for all I knew. When our breathing returns to normal, he rolls off me, takes care of the condom, and then comes back to bed.

I turn over and without a word, he pulls me to his front, then tucks me under his arm in a protective hold.

Yeah, I was okay with him trying.

“What’s going to happen to Danger?” I ask after a moment. When we got back to the clubhouse, Jesse left me and went straight to Nix and Beau. No doubt filling them in on the shit Danger just put himself in.

“You don’t need to worry about the fucker, Bell. In fact don’t even say that bastard’s name in my bed.”

“You’re not going to kill him, are you?” I push, needing to know. I’ve come to learn Jesse and his club are the good guys, but I still wouldn’t put it past them.

He laughs to himself, before pulling me tighter against him.

“The weasel isn’t worth the bullet. He’ll get what’s coming to him. We just have to let it play out.” The statement is cryptic so I don’t bother pushing it anymore.

“Just don’t get arrested. We’ve already established you won’t be able to handle prison.” I joke remembering our first date.

“I know I’m too fucking good-looking.” He laughs as my phone beeps from the bedside table. Reaching over I quickly check it then place it on silent.

“Your mom?”

“Yeah, she’s worried. But I told her I’m fine. I’ll deal with her tomorrow.” I close my eyes not letting my parents and their needs dictate to me anymore.

“They’re going to think I’m a bad influence.” He chuckles, the sound rumbling against my back.

“Please, they’ve met Lissy.”

“Shit, you’re right.” He laughs harder. “You should have seen your mom’s face when she opened the door.”

“Oh, God. Was it bad?” I hide my face, trying not to think about Mom and Jesse meeting.

“Nah, she was fine.” His chuckle doesn’t make me believe him, but I don’t push.

“They’re good people, Jesse. Just dealing the best way they know how.” I defend them knowing I’m probably not making it easier on them.

“I hear you, baby. I know all too well the things we do to survive.” He holds me tighter. “Just promise me, find out who you are, Bell. Not who they want you to be.” I let his words wash over me, and for the first time, I realize I don’t really know what I want anymore. I’ve become lost in their grief and my need to make everything better.

I’m not going to do that anymore.