Текст книги "Desertion"

Автор книги: River Savage

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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 23 страниц)

She’s a game changer, and holding back from her isn’t an option anymore. She’s worked her way under my skin, and I might not know how to handle it, but I do know I’m not ready to walk away.

Nowhere near ready.

Twenty BELL

“Girl, that man has it bad for you.” Lissy whistles as we all watch Jesse stalk back to the bar.

“Please, we’re just having fun.” I shake my head and watch as Jesse turns back one last time. He smirks like he knows we’re talking about him, then gives me a wink and turns back.

“Yeah, a man acts like that with all the bitches he’s having fun with.” Manda snorts then high fives Lissy. I know what they are saying; sometimes even I wonder what the hell he is thinking. One minute he runs hot, the next cold. But I’m not going to ask what’s going on. The last thing I want is to push him away, so I’ll just take what I can get.

It’s not that I can’t see his struggle. I can see when he fights it. Even last weekend when he took me to meet Conner, he was conflicted. The man is fighting his own demons.

“For now, it’s just some fun. Don’t start labeling us, guys. You should be happy I’m out having fun,” I fire back. It was their idea to come here tonight. I hadn’t planned on going out, but I didn’t put up much of a fight either. Mom and Dad are out of town and Ava is staying with one of her girlfriends. When Lissy showed up at my door I didn’t have a chance.

“If you say so.” Lissy sucks on the end of the straw. “So if you’re not serious about Jesse, you won’t mind if we invite some men over, have some more fun.” She nods at three guys who are all looking our way.

“You and I both know that wouldn’t be wise,” I say, looking back over at Jesse.

“Why? You’re just having fun,” she pushes.

“Don’t mess around, Lissy. You want to piss him off? Go ahead. But I’m not having any part of it.” I sit back and wait for her to play with fire.

“You’re no fun, Bell. You know that would be hot, seeing Jesse get jealous. I would pay to see it.”

“Me too,” Manda winks, only encouraging Lissy more.

“No,” I say, not one bit intent on encouraging them; instead, I stand, take my drink and head over to the bar.

“Come on, admit it. You would want to know what would happen,” Lissy yells, but I keep walking. Yeah, maybe seeing Jesse lose his shit would be interesting to see. But Jesse isn’t the type of man to play games. I’m not giving him any reason to push me away; instead, I make my way up to the bar and plant myself on a stool.

“Hi, I’m Sarah. You must be Bell.” A small blonde wearing a Liquid apron wrapped around her waist holds her hand out to me.

“Yeah, that’s me. Nice to meet you.” I offer my hand back and watch her assess me.

“Play nice, Sarah.” Jesse walks by and gives me one of his grins.

“Don’t worry, Jesse. I won’t tell her all of your dirty secrets,” Sarah jokes back, throwing me a wink for good measure.

“Just the juicy ones?” I ask, a little eager. Inside information on Jesse? Yeah, I’m down for that.

“I like her already,” Sarah declares, and I can’t help smiling.

Yes, I think Sarah and I need to have this talk. The more I know about Jesse, the easier it will be to figure him out.

“You ready to go?” Jesse steps around the bar and up into my space commanding my attention. After I started talking with Sarah, the night seemed to flash by. Lissy, Kate and Manda, ended up joining me at the bar and we spent the rest of the evening laughing with Sarah, as she kept us entertained with all her bar stories. A few involved Jesse, but nothing too embarrassing.

“Jesse,” I start to argue that I can’t go home with him, but deep down, there’s no point. He’s not going to let up, and honestly, I don’t want him to.

“Don't even think about arguing with me right now, Bell.” His tone takes a serious turn, his face tight, seconds away from losing it. He’s been throwing glances my way for the last two hours. Every time I laughed at something Sarah said, his eyes would narrow. I was beginning to think me being here tonight was pissing him off.

“You should go, Bell. We can catch up later,” Lissy pushes, with a glint in her eye. I shake my head at her and level my stare. Of course, she would encourage this.

“It’s settled, let’s go.” Jesse takes my hand and pulls me off my stool, away from my friends.

“Wait, just a sec.” I try to pull back, but he’s on a mission and it feels like he’s ready to throw me over his shoulder and drag me out of here and back to his bed.

“Call me!” Lissy yells out before we turn the corner. I wave one last time, not bothering to fight it anymore. Jesse wants me—let everyone at his workplace know it; I’m going with it. He keeps his pace strong, direct and when we get to his bike, I’m beginning to think I’ve misread him.

“Why are you so upset?” I ask when he silently hands me his helmet. He stops and looks up before answering.

“I’m not,” he answers, leaning in to help me with the strap.

“Then why are you being snappy?”

“You make it hard to work and concentrate when you’re smiling and laughing all night. You don’t even know how hard that shift was.”

“What? Why?” I ask as he helps me onto the back of his bike.

“Sweetheart, you’re so fucking innocent it hurts to see it. Jesus, you had every man’s attention each time you threw your head back. It took everything in me not to punch every fucker looking at you.”

“Jesse, you’re weird.” I shake my head, not getting him one bit. This is the hot and cold I was talking about. One minute he’s pushing me out, the next he’s pissed at men watching me laugh.

“Maybe, but you’re fucking beautiful. Now move back and let me take you home. I’ve been craving you since you left my bed Sunday,” he grumbles. Again, I don’t argue. Instead, I move back and let him climb on. When he’s straddling his bike, he reaches back, takes my hands and wraps them around his middle.

“Hold on, sweetheart,” he orders over his shoulder. He doesn’t have to tell me twice. Pressing my front to his back, I do as I’m told and get ready for him to take off. He starts the bike, revs the throttle and before I know it, the wind hits my face and we’re riding. It’s the best feeling in the world, but I don’t tell him that. Instead, I slightly tilt my head back, let the cool air bite at my skin and enjoy it. I can only pray this feeling of finding my place doesn’t end.

Losing this, losing him.

I don’t think I could handle that.

“Jesus, what is he doing here?” Jesse asks when he cuts the engine to his bike. The ride to the clubhouse was quick. Jesse’s hand rested on my thigh the whole ride while my arms were wrapped tightly around his waist.

“Who?” I ask as he turns and helps me off the back. My fingers find the strap of the helmet, but he pushes them away and takes over.

“My brother.”

“Jackson?” I ask, looking around him.

“Yeah, come on, better to get this over with.” He pulls me toward the entrance and wraps his arm around my shoulders.

“Everything okay with you two?” I ask, picking up on his strange attitude.

“Way it’s always been, sweetheart. He busts my balls. I give him shit.” I nod because what else can I say. After last weekend and the cold confrontation between them, I decided whatever is going on between them is better left alone. The last thing I need is to be giving my advice where it’s not welcome.

“You’re lucky he cares about you,” I add as we enter the hall of the clubhouse.

Jesse snorts. “Yeah, he’s a model fucking brother.” He shakes his head but doesn’t continue.

“You wanna head to my room, meet me there?” he asks when we turn the corner to the main room.

“Bell, oh my, look at you girl!” Holly shouts when she sees me walk in with Jesse. I look down at what I’m wearing, remembering I let Lissy dress me tonight.

“I’m going to go say hi.” He nods once then continues over to where Jackson sits at the bar.

“Hey, guys.” I walk up to the sofa where Kelly, Kadence and Holly all sit, drinks in hand.

“You look amazing, Bell.” Kelly pats the sofa next to her, letting me know to take a seat.

“Thanks, I had a girls’ night out with my friends.” I smile and push down the guilt of ditching them for Jesse. Who am I kidding; Lissy would totally ditch me in a second.

They start asking me how my night was when Hunter comes over with water. “Jesse said you might want a drink.” Handing me the bottle, he then turns back.

“Thanks, Hunter,” I call out, and then focus on the girls.

“Water?” Holly snorts, sipping back some of her cocktail.

“I don’t drink much.” I shrug, liking that Jesse thought of me.

“Well, we should do something about that. I say we organize a girls’ weekend.” Holly’s eyes light up at the thought and Kadence and Kelly groan beside me.

“What? You like my girls’ nights out.” She pouts, looking between Kelly and Kadence.

“Yeah, when they don’t involve naked men and fat-o-grams,” Kadence argues.

“Hey that was not me. That was Jesse. The shit.” They all start laughing and I’m left in the dark as to what they are talking about.

“Kadence’s bachelorette party night.” Kelly fills me in when she notices my confused face. “Holly organized a stripper. Jesse thought it would be funny if he swapped it out. Only they sent a fat-o-gram instead.”

“It was bad,” Kadence adds. “And if you think I have forgotten, then you would be wrong.” She turns and points her finger Holly’s way. “Your bachelorette night… Pay back will be a bitch.”

“Please, you can do anything. I’ll love it. Besides, Vegas baby. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.”

“You’re doing Vegas for your bachelorette party?” I ask, putting myself into the conversation.

“Girl, Vegas all the way and you are invited. You have to come.” Holly bounces in her chair with excitement for what I’m sure is going to be one hell of a night.

“Yeah, let me know the dates, I’ll put in for time off,” I take a sip of water, washing down the concerns Mom and Dad will feel about a Vegas trip. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

“Sweetheart, you all right here for a bit? Got some club business to deal with.” Jesse comes up behind me leaning down to my ear.

“Sure, the girls will keep me company.” I rest my head back and let him know I’m fine.

“Good girl.” He leans in further and kisses me softly on my lips then pulls back. “Stay here. Don’t go running off.” He points to me while walking into the kitchen.

“I won’t.” I laugh, watching him leave. Turning back to face the girls, I ask, “What?” when they all watch us wearing the biggest grins.

“Girl, he has it bad.” Holly shakes her head in disbelief.

“Tell me about it. I’ve never seen him like this, ever.” Kelly nudges me gently. “You hooked the un-hookable.”

“Please, Jesse and I are just hanging out. Nothing serious,” I tell them, letting it be known where we stand.

“Nothing serious? Please, I’ve done the ‘hanging out’ thing before. He hid his sausage in your muffin yet?” Holly asks with a straight face.

“His sausage where?”

“In your muffin, chick. Your hoo ha. You know, you getting it on?” The girls laugh, and at the attention, I feel a blush start to cover my face.

“You’re embarrassing her, Holly.” Kadence tries to stick up for me, but it’s too late. The blush has taken over.

“She’s only embarrassed ‘cause she’s doing him. Just tell me this, is it good?” Holly leans forward whispering.

I’m expecting some kind of outrage from Kadence and Kelly, but instead, they all lean forward waiting for an answer.

“Well, ummm…” I try to scramble for something to say but stop. What the hell, I think deciding to let it spill. “It’s amazing. This thing he does with his tongue.” I start to get lost in remembering the last time we were together.

“Oh, my God, girl. Welcome to the club. I just awarded you full-fledged membership.” Holly holds her glass up in the air.

“What club?” I ask, watching them all raise their glass.

“The club where we women can all appreciate a good tongue.” She laughs and the girls clink their glasses together.

“This isn’t really a club, is it?” I ask, watching them all break out giggling.

“No, I just made it up, but I am glad Jesse knows how to use that tongue of his. Always knew he had it in him. Have you seen his body? Be a shame for all that to go to waste.”

“Mmhmm,” Kelly agrees, nodding beside me.

“You ladies are crazy, you know that?” I settle back into the sofa.

“Girl, you haven’t even seen the tip of it. Wait till we get you to Vegas.” I nod listening as they continue telling me what they have planned for Vegas. I’m not certain yet, but I’d say these ladies are as wild as Lissy.

If not worse.

I must attract these kinds of people.

Twenty-One JESSE

“What do you have for us?” I ask Jackson as soon as we are alone.

“So impatient, brother.” He shakes his head, and then drops a folder down on the kitchen table. It’s not that I don’t want to know what he has to say, but I’d much rather be with Bell in my bed. “Ran the name Markus Bates you gave me through the system. This asshole has a rap sheet as long as my dick.”

“So not very long?” I quip and watch him try to not react to me pissing him off. The fucker is always so serious.

“What we looking at?” Nix picks up the file and starts reading.

“Worse case scenario. He’s got connections to a drug cartel in Mexico, and sex trafficking rings throughout America. You name it, he’s got his hand in it.” Fuck, it’s way over our heads now.

“He, along with that fucker, Gary Innis, we’ve had our eye on for a while, have a strong connection to the Warriors.”

“How do you know?” An undertone of disbelief slips past Nix’s lips, his eyes narrowing at the news of the Warriors involvement.

“Doesn’t matter how, just that he does.”

“Fuck me. This club is sendin’ me grey before my own fuckin’ daughter does.” He shakes his head. “Why’d you come to me with this, Jackson?” Nix asks the question I’ve been wondering since we rolled up and saw him here. We all know what side of the law Jackson stays on. Why come to us now?

“‘Cause I know my thick-headed brother here is thinking with the wrong head now.”

“Fuck you,” I answer but he doesn’t engage.

“You wanted the info, I’m giving it to you in hope you understand how deep this shit runs and you don’t fuck this up for us.”

“Fuck what up exactly?” Nix asks on a sigh. I understand his frustration. I don’t blame him. Every week it feels like we’re being dragged into more shit. Shit we’ve worked hard at getting away from.

“You know I can’t talk about the case, Nix.”

“Bullshit. If you want our club to work with the force on this one, we want full disclosure,” Nix calmly replies.

“You know this is even above my pay grade. The Feds already have their hands on it.”

“Yeah, on this fucker in Mexico. We still have our ways of getting T to talk. We’ll run our own investigation if we have to.” Nix doesn’t falter, letting Jackson know we’re not stepping aside.

“I’m not talking about this asshole Bates.” Jackson points to the folder. “I’m talking about the Warriors. We got them in our sights and we’re close.”

“That’s not enough to make me stop, Jackson.” I pick up the folder and start reading.

“Fuck me. You all are gonna get me fired.” He sighs and pulls up a chair. We don’t reply, just wait patiently for him to give us what we need. “We have an inside man on the job.”

“You got Feds undercover in the Warriors compound?” Sy asks. It’s the first time he’s spoken.

“Jesus Christ, Jesse, what the hell did you bring to us?” Nix runs his hand over his face. I don’t reply ‘cause I know he doesn’t mean to be an uptight ass. He wouldn’t walk away from this, not when there are innocent women being taken. But this shit is big. If Feds are in the Warriors, anything we pull could come back on us.

“You didn’t hear it from me.” Jackson nods.

“And you expect us to take your word?” Nix rocks back in his chair, fishing for more information.

“Your fucking knight in shining armor here”—he points to Beau—“picked up a woman belonging to a Warrior.” I look to Beau and watch him stand a little straighter.

“Don’t worry, our man hasn’t let on. He’s the one who let her get away,” Jackson challenges. I watch Beau relax slightly while Nix grows tense. Fuck that could have been some serious shit we don’t need.

“So what do you want us to do with this news?” I ask, not understanding any of this. So the Warriors are in on this. We go to them. Simple.

“Nothing. Let our men deal with it.”

“You know we can’t do that, Jackson,” I shake my head, not accepting his plan for us to stand down.

“Why the fuck not?”

“‘Cause as far as Bell is concerned, your department hasn’t exactly been successful.” I throw in the snide remark about my brother’s failure.

“Doesn’t give you the right to interfere in an ongoing investigation, Jesse.”

“It’s only ongoing ‘cause we gave you the lead, asshole.” I watch him recoil, knowing I’m right.

“Jesus, Jesse, what the fuck is your problem?”

“You’re my fucking problem. We got feelers out there and we’re gonna follow them through. With or without your help.”

“Jesse, if you fuck this up...”

“Oh, don’t mistake me for you, big brother. I’ve told Bell I’m going to do something, so I will do it.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?” He stands, pushing the chair back with force.

“Means what you think it means, brother.” I follow him up, but keep my cool.

“Will you both sit the fuck down!” Nix bangs the table but I don’t obey.

“Jesse?” Bell’s voice comes around the corner.

“Bell, go back and sit with the girls.” I don’t move my eyes off Jackson, still trying to gauge where he’s taking this right now.

“What’s going on?” She ignores me, picking up on the tension.

“Bell, out now.” The room stays silent. Jackson and I are locked in a showdown on what’s best for Bell.

“You found her.” Her voice is small, unsure. It’s not a question, but a statement.

“Bell, no.” I begin to try to explain but what is there to say? “Just come with me.” I tear my stare from Jackson and move around the table toward her.

“No, Jesse, tell me. Don’t lie to me. Tell me the truth.” Her hands shake at her sides and the small dip in the dimple on her cheek deepens, but not in a good way, rather in a way that makes my stomach tighten.

“Bell.”

“You’re scaring me, Jesse.”

“And I don’t want you to be scared, Bell.” I pull her close to my chest and try to offer her comfort. “So far it’s not much to tell. We have a lead, but where it’s pointing doesn’t look good.”

“Just fucking tell me. Tell me, damn it!” Her fist hits my chest and a lump forms in my throat.

“Bell, we don’t know for sure,” Nix speak ups, refocusing her attention.

“But you think it’s her?” She gains some composure and steps back from me to face him.

“Not gonna to lie to ya, it doesn’t look good.” Her hand reaches back for mine and I take it, giving her the connection she needs.

“Kadence, why don’t you take Bell to the front,” Nix calls and I look behind me to see both her and Holly had followed Bell in.

“No, I want to stay.” Bell shakes her head, not allowing Nix to order her out.

Pulling her back to me, I turn her to face me. “Bell sweetheart, I promise you, I will tell you everything. Just go take a seat.” Her lips start to part, ready to argue, but I give her a tight squeeze then nod to Kadence to take her back out to the sofa.

“I can handle it, Jesse,” she whispers before Kadence takes her hand and lightly starts to pull her away.

“I don’t doubt you can. But I don’t want you to have to. Let me sort this shit out. Give me five.” My eyes hold hers, begging her for the minute before she relents and nods.

“Okay.” She steps back with Kadence and follows the girls out of the kitchen. I wait a few beats before turning back to my brother.

“You fucking love her.” Jackson’s accusation is the first words spoken after the girls leave. The wind gets knocked out of me for a second and I give myself a moment before answering.

“I do fucking not,” I deny as my heart rate picks up. Okay, what the fuck is that about?

“You fucking do.” He shakes his head, pissed off.

“Shut the fuck up.” I brush off his words and try to smash down the feeling his remark stirs in me. Love? Fuck no. I don’t love Bell. Yes, I care for her and think she is someone special, but love? No fucking way.

“See why this just became a problem?” Jackson turns and asks Nix.

I don’t even respond this time. My head is all messed up with the thought of loving Bell.

Fuck me, what the fuck is happening here?