Текст книги "Avoiding Commitment"
Автор книги: K. A. Linde
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Текущая страница: 29 (всего у книги 29 страниц)
“Oh, right,” Lexi said closing her mouth and exiting Jack’s office. She took her time walking down the hallway and into the elevators. The steel metal enclosure took her to the bottom floor, and she strode across the marble tiled floor. Her phone dinged just before she reached the sliding doors. She sighed heavily and pulled back from the outside world. She fished her phone out of her purse and clicked on the new text message.
“Delivered your luggage to airport already. Meet me there, chica. Heart you,” read Chyna’s message.
Lexi smiled to herself, grateful for Chyna’s loyalty. It was so nice not to have to worry about at least one part of her life. Chyna had been a true friend throughout it all. She swore as soon as they made it back to New York she was going to treat her best friend to a wonderful dinner and lots of wine.
“You’re still here,” Lexi heard someone approach her.
She slowly turned to face the man who had dashed all her hopes and dreams of a real relationship into a million pieces. He had walked out on her again leaving her alone with that stupid diamond ring, except this time it was attached to someone else’s finger. This was the last person she had wanted to see…the last thing she had wanted to encounter before she left for New York. He had finally made up his mind about her. He had made his decision to be with Bekah, not her. There was no reason for her to ever speak to him, because God knows they could never be friends.
“Yes, I’m still here,” Lexi told him not able to keep herself from glaring.
“Can we talk?” he asked looking at least mildly apologetic.
“No,” she said turning from him and walking through the double doors. “Taxi please,” she told the attendant on duty.
“Come on, Lex,” Jack pleaded.
“Just don’t,” she said holding up her hand.
“Your cab, miss,” the attendant said as the yellow car pulled up in front of the colossal set of stairs.
“Thank you,” she said sliding into the seat as he opened the door for her.
“Lexi, you have to listen to me,” Jack said following her into the taxi.
“I’d rather not,” she said emotionless. She would be happier if she never saw Jack again, if she never had to hear his smooth voice or listen to his charming words. She would certainly be happier to go about the rest of her life knowing she had received the necessary closure she had so desperately been seeking while in Atlanta. “Get out of the cab,” Lexi demanded pointing her finger towards the door.
“Hartsfield-Jackson,” Jack said to the cab driver throwing a few twenties across the seat to keep him from opening his mouth.
Lexi glowered at him as the cabbie followed his instructions. “What the fuck is your problem? What are you even doing here? You have a fiancé inside. There is no need for this conversation. I got the gist of it with the diamond,” she growled.
Jack looked apologetically at the cab driver who was glancing backwards through the rearview mirror anxiously. “It’s not what you think, Lex.”
“First, don’t ever call me that again. I hate it,” she said crossing her arms over her chest. In fact, she had only ever liked it when Jack said it. The way it came out of his mouth made it sound so sexy. But that was the last thing she wanted now. “And second, waste your time with someone who wants to listen to you like your fiancé, or your secretary, or hell, even your apartment attendant. They all seem very interested in you.”
Jack colored slightly at the accusation, but, Lexi noted, he didn’t deny anything. “I know you probably never want to speak with me, but I can’t end it like this.”
“Oh, you can’t? Well, I don’t give a fuck. If you didn’t want it to end like this, then you wouldn’t have fucked me in the hallway at Turner Field less than twelve hours before proposing to someone else,” she said not caring that the cab driver or anyone else was listening.
“I know,” he said nodding his head.
“I don’t think you do or you would have taken the slap in the face to mean stay the fuck away from me like it was meant.”
“I told you I can’t leave it like this. I was blinded by my jealousy over you and Ramsey. I couldn’t even believe you when you said nothing was going on. We said we’d never lie, but neither of us trusts the other.”
Lexi kept that fact that he had been lying to her all along to herself. He would disagree with the statement and there was no need for him to try and convince her otherwise. He was right. She would never believe him. He wouldn’t have chosen Bekah over her in the end, if he had really wanted to be with her. He would have cut his loose ends. He would have tried to make it work. He would have loved her the way she deserved to be loved. No, he had lied all along and she could never trust his word again. It had been broken once before, when they had first begun, and she had been stupid to believe in him to this day.
“You don’t trust me, right?” he asked mournfully.
“Stupid question,” she quipped.
“Right. Well, I guess you have no reason to.”
“Yep,” she said popping the final sound and staring out across the city.
“I really couldn’t help it though.”
“Oh, this should be good,” she said sarcastically. “You’re going to tell me how you couldn’t help but propose. Wonderful!”
“No, I was going to propose. Can you just look at me, please, Lex?” he pleaded.
She turned and glared at him. “Do not call me that. Why did you string me along if you knew you planned on proposing?” she asked.
“Well, I knew before you got here that’s what I was planning to do, but then you showed up and I couldn’t think about doing that.”
“Then why the hell did you drag me down here? I was supposed to be here to convince Bekah you were ready to commit to her. You told me you wanted her off your back and that you had no intention of doing it. If you really were ready to commit, then why didn’t you just fucking tell her that and leave me out of it?”
“Because she found the ring,” he cried throwing his hands up in the air in defeat.
“I might hit you again if we continue talking about this,” she threatened.
“She found your ring,” he said more calmly.
“Yes, I fucking realize that moron. The ring that is now currently on her finger. The ring that was meant for my finger,” she said waving her left hand around in the air. “Is nothing sacred, Jack? Go ahead. Please try to explain to me how her finding my ring has anything to do with me being down here.”
“Because she flipped out and was shrieking, jumping up and down, going insane when she found it,” he told her deflecting the glares she was shooting his way, “and then I crushed her when I told her it wasn’t for her.”
“Guess you changed your mind,” she muttered angrily.
“No, I didn’t.”
“Jack, get out of the fucking cab,” she told him. “Sir, can you pull over right here?”
“Ma’am, we’re on the highway.”
“He can walk,” she told him.
“That’s illegal. I cannot let you out of the car until we are off the interstate,” he said zooming down highway 85 towards the airport.
“I’m not going anywhere anyway,” Jack told her.
“Then I’ll get out and hail another cab,” she told him turning back towards the window.
“Lexi, it’s a duplicate,” he told her reaching out and turning her head towards him. She yanked her face out of his reach.
“A...wait…what?” she asked staring in the blue pools of his eyes.
“A duplicate. I had another one made, because I couldn’t give her your ring,” he said reaching into his pocket and pulling out a rather familiar black box. He flipped the top up and Lexi stared down at the wedding ring he had almost given her once. It was as exquisite as she remembered with every detail cut to perfection.
“How do I know this isn’t the duplicate?” she asked staring down at the ring and knowing that no one could really duplicate this. The ring itself had an old timey appearance and was completely unlike anything else she had ever seen.
“Why would I go to the trouble of getting you a duplicate?”
“To cover your ass?” she guessed.
“No, to show you that, no matter what happens, you truly will always have a place in my heart,” he whispered tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. The cab pulled into the line of traffic in front of the airport.
Lexi pulled her gaze up from the dazzling ring and met Jack’s look. “I appreciate the fact that you have one redeeming quality, Jack, but that is all it is. Just a hint of redemption with six years of disappointment.
“No matter what you do, it will never make up for what happened between us. I will never trust you. I will never again be comfortable around you. I will never look at you or think of you without considering the destruction you have train wrecked through my life.
“I wish you the very best in your future, because without you in my life I think I might finally have a future. And as angry as I am with what you have put me through, I am so very glad that we are now at this moment. This moment means I can move on to bigger and better things without you constantly weighing on my shoulders.
“I will never again turn a corner in New York terrified that I will run into you and even more terrified that I won’t. I can go into any coffee shop I want. I can hope for love again. A love that will be more than anything you ever attempted to give to me. Because the love I am looking for will be reciprocated one hundred and ten percent. There will never be another someone to distract our affections, because you will not be in the picture.
“So, as sad as this day is for me, as I am losing a part of myself with the loss of you, it is really just the beginning for me. It is like cutting off the spoiled part to get to the juicy center. So, I would appreciate it this time, if you did not try and contact me. Because, as I’m sure you know, I deserve much better. I want everything this time around, and I deserve it,” she said holding her head high as the cab came to a stop in front of the airport terminal. “Take him back to Bridges Enterprise,” Lexi commanded stepping out of the cab.
“Lex,” Jack called hopping out of the cab.
“Don’t call me that,” she cried turning around and facing him. As always Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport was crowded with thousands of people destined to travel all around the world. Families were huddled together hugging, kissing, and saying their farewells to their relatives. Lovers were embracing as they came and went through the sliding glass doors. Business men and women carrying similar black luggage took hurried steps around the slower passengers. A few heads had turned at Lexi’s exclamation, but she was beyond caring.
“Fine. Lexi,” he said taking a more hesitant step closer.
“What do you want? Because all I want is you finally out of my life,” she spat at him.
“I know, and I’ll get out of your life. I’ll let you live yours. Can I make one last request?” he pleaded.
“Take, take, take. That’s all you do. What more could you want?” she beseeched him.
“Just a final farewell,” he said taking another step towards her.
“No,” she said her voice hitching as his hands reached out and lovingly cupped the sides of her face. “Jack, no. You are engaged,” she whispered.
“Just a good-bye. That’s all,” he implored.
His head dipped down slowly. Lexi felt as if she were watching him in slow motion as he descended towards her. She could almost feel the taste of his lips as energy radiated out of every pore. Her skin was on fire and she could feel her body impulsively reacting to his touch. Her eyes stared deeply into the cerulean orbs entrancing her.
Her heart remembered every moment she had given into him like this. She remembered her head feeling dizzy and light headed. Her heart racing along at a sprinter’s speed. Her eyes glazing over with desire and fluttering closed in anticipation. Her lips quivering as she wet them waiting for them to be covered with his own. Her cheeks flushing with warmth and desire. A wonderful ringing sound filling her ears.
She could remember every sensation she had ever felt with Jack in that instant as he demanded one last thing from her.
One last kiss good-bye.
As he was about to touch her lips to his own, she took a step backwards and smiled serenely. “Good-bye, Jack,” she said turning on her heel, walking through the sliding glass doors, and leaving him behind.
She felt as if she were walking on clouds as she ventured out towards the hanger where the private jet was located. All she had was her purse. No Jack. No weight on her shoulders. She felt as if she was breathing in new air. Her mind was buzzing with possibilities. Her feet carried her out to the hanger and across the cement tarmac to the waiting plane. As she approached, she noticed someone waiting at the bottom of the stairs.
The closer she got the more she realized that the person wasn’t dressed in a uniform of any sort. She knew the person standing there waiting for her. Her heart sped up in anticipation of what was to come. The lightweight feeling she had experienced left her with the prospect that she had one more conversation ahead of her before she left for home, one more conversation that she didn’t want to have.
“I’m glad I didn’t miss you,” Ramsey said walking confidently to her side and enveloping her in a hug. She sighed into his chest and wrapped her arms loosely around his waist. “Chyna told me this is where you’d be.”
Bekah and Jack’s words rang clear in her mind. At least one thing was certain, she had known Ramsey previously. The more she thought on that the more she realized that he had to be Armani Guy. She knew it was ridiculous to even consider since it was such a strange coincidence. But it would be even stranger if he happened to know things about her like he had since she got here. The thought that he was Bekah’s pawn in a game she was playing to hold onto Jack was harder to believe, but it certainly would explain a large majority of his actions.
Ramsey pulled back leaving only a rather small space between them, as usual ignoring any means of personal space. “You look different,” he mused out loud.
“Do I?” she questioned.
“I don’t know what it is,” he admitted.
“Bad?”
“You could never look bad.”
“Cut the act,” she said turning her head to the side, away from his endearing green eyes.
“I’m not acting. After the way you left my apartment last night, you look like a new woman. It’s very becoming,” he said eyeing her up and down.
“Well, thank you, but there is no need for your charade any longer,” she said taking a step back.
In typical Ramsey fashion, he followed her in a synchronized dance. “Why do you keep saying that?” he asked his eyebrows scrunching together.
“I know what’s been going on. They told me everything,” she said running her fingers through her hair and sweeping a strand behind her ear.
“They? Bekah and Jack?” he asked and watched her confirmation. “Those bastards.”
“So, it’s true?” she asked taking a step back in pure shock. She hadn’t really believed it until she looked into his face. For some demented purpose, he had played her. But it didn’t explain what he was doing here. “If it is true, then what are you even doing here?”
“If you don’t want to see me any longer, I would understand, but know that I still want to see you, Lexi. I didn’t know when I saw you again at the Country Club that you were my Alexa, but I figured it out pretty quick,” he told her using her first name rather possessively.
“I wanted to tell you, but there was never a right time, and I thought you might think less of me. I wasn’t really in a good place at that time of my life. I thought you would just see me as that guy who had gotten you drunk and tried to take you back to his place. And I knew you were better than that. I wanted to be that other guy for you,” he said rambling on like the first time when she had spoken to him outside of the bathroom at the Country Club.
“I don’t care about the fact that we knew each other that night. I was just using you to forget,” she steered clear of Jack’s name, “forget everything anyway.” Ramsey’s face changed in that moment. It was as if his worries about slipping up had fallen off of his shoulders. He even appeared taller which was really awkward for Lexi who already had to strain her neck to look up at him since he never left more than six inches between them.
“But they did tell you about that? I mean that would be it, right?”
“Sure, Jack told me that. I had the pieces in my mind already but I hadn’t knit them together. And I guess your explanation makes sense, but I would have rather you told me the truth.”
“You’re big on truth, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” she stated simply thinking about how lying and deceit had ruined her life.
“Now that that is out of the way. When can I see you again?” he asked his full-watt smile reaching all the way up to his eyes.
She shook her head in disbelief. “Never. You’re a player, and you played me.” She tried to move around him to the stairs of the plane, but he reached out and grabbed her arm. He spun her around until she was facing him again.
“I…what?” he asked his lips parted and eyes stormy. “I’ve never played you.”
“You say that as if you are a player.”
He gulped. “Well, I haven’t played you.”
“Everyone was right when they said I didn’t know you and that you weren’t everything you seemed.”
“Is anyone ever what they seem?” he asked. “You have secrets. Everyone has them.”
“But I don’t try and ruin someone’s life for sport,” she spat at him.
“And you think I do?”
“As far as I can tell.”
“Who’s life am I ruining this time?” he asked staring intently into her eyes. “Please tell me what I’ve done, and why you are so offended.”
“You seduced me. You tried to fuck me. You would have fucked me,” she cried disgusted.
“What’s the problem with that? It’s not like you didn’t want me to,” he said stepping even closer to her. “You like me, Lexi. I know it. You know it.” He reached out to her, pushing his fingers up into her tangled mess of curly hair. “Why is that so wrong?”
“Because you fooled me into liking you,” she cried, futilely pushing him away from her.
He shook his head not budging an inch. “I never had to fool you. You just had to open up your eyes.”
She clenched her jaw angry that he wouldn’t let her back away. “You did it for your sister.”
This seemed to take him aback. “Why would I fall for you for my sister?”
“You did her bidding to get rid of me.”
“But I want you around,” he said smoothly, running his hands gently through her hair. “That doesn’t make sense.”
“She put you in my path so she could have Jack all to herself,” she tried to explain.
That did push him back a step. He released her hair and stared into her wild brown eyes. “This is always about Jack, isn’t it?”
“No, nothing is about Jack anymore. And if you come with that territory, then good riddance,” she muttered angrily.
“What if I told you that was all a lie?” he asked curious about her answer.
“Could I believe you?”
“Have I given you reason not to?”
“Besides not telling me that you knew me previously?”
“I did tell you,” he reminded her.
“Yes, but not about meeting in the club.”
“Is that really all that relevant?”
“Absolutely,” she told him staring him down. “Half-truths and hiding are still lying.”
“Then I apologize, but I had nothing to do with Jack. And I hope to God that I never will,” he said inching forward again. His hands came up and secured themselves against her narrow hips. He grabbed her with a tad bit of force and pulled her into him.
“Ramsey,” she whispered his name as he locked lips with her. She held still as long as she could before giving into his kiss. His sweet taste of peppermint overpowered her senses and she closed her eyes to breathe him in. His lips moved softly against her own, coaxing out her emotions not demanding them. She couldn’t help but give into his adoring affections.
“Yes?” he asked finally breaking away from her, but planting one more feather light kiss upon her plump lips.
“I…I can’t do this,” she murmured against his lips, the air around them super heated.
“Why? Is it Jack?”
“No,” she said quickly. Then sighed and broke away from him. “Yes. It is Jack.” He nodded accepting that without questions. “You shouldn’t want me. I’m not in a good enough place to be wanted.”
“But I do want you. At least, something with you, even if we start slow,” he pushed.
“You know how people say you crawl before you walk and walk before you run? Yeah, well, I need to learn to hold my head up before I can even think about crawling,” she muttered brushing her hair off her forehead.
“Yeah. I get it, but Lexi…”
“No,” she said pressing a finger to his lips. “This is the end of the road.”
She turned from him and began to climb the stairs to the jet. Chyna was waiting for her at the top. It was pretty obvious that she had been eavesdropping, but she didn’t look displeased. Lexi wasn’t sure if that was because Lexi was finally standing up on her own or because they were on their way home. It didn’t matter either way.
“Will I hear from you?” Ramsey called as she hit the top step.
She turned around and smiled at him. “When I can hold my head up high.”
“You ready to get out of here, chica?” Chyna asked pulling her friend into a hug. When Lexi pulled back, she already had a flute of Champagne stuffed into her hand.
“Very ready,” Lexi confirmed.
“A toast,” Chyna cheered raising her glass to Lexi, “to being free.”
Lexi shook her head. “No. To closure,” she announced clinking their glasses together and downing her first glass of freedom.
The End.
*****
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
K.A. Linde is an independent author and publisher enjoys writing novels that keep you guessing to the very end. She wrote Avoiding Commitment in 2009. She studied political science and philosophy at the University of Georgia and received her Masters in 2012. She currently resides in North Carolina. She enjoys dancing in her spare time. She has written a sequel to this novel and plans to have it released as an ebook in the near future along with her future endeavors.
Avoiding Series:
Avoiding Commitment
Avoiding Responsibility
The Affiliate
You can contact K.A. Linde at:
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thank you so much everyone who helped me get to where I am right now. I never thought that I would publish this book, and I am grateful every day to the people who encouraged me to keep writing and to take the next step in the process. Here is just a short list of amazing people who have helped me get where I am today:
S. C. Stephens is one of the most incredible and brilliant people I know. I’m very glad to call you a friend, and I look forward to that Seattle trip we have planned. Who knows, maybe we can get a black Chevelle to drive us around? My editing goddesses: Jenny Aspinall, Rebecca Kimmerling, Lori Francis! You three are a freaking ridiculous bunch, and I can’t wait for that drink in Bali. I’ll bring the vodka gummies! I am glad to have become friends with a number of book bloggers including Maryse at Maryse.net, Jenny and Gitte at TotallyBooked, Alyssa and Taryn at My Secret Romance, Autumn at Autumn Reviews, Chrystle at The Indie Bookshelf, and Laura at Novel Magic. Thank you for publicizing my work before I’d even thought about putting it out for publication.
Sarah Hansen at Okay Creations did a fantastic job on the cover design for this book. Thanks for putting up with my ever changing thoughts about the cover. I appreciate Mat Kinsey so much for the portrait on the back cover. You have such a talent! Additionally, Colleen Hoover might be one of the coolest people on the planet. Thank you for giving me the push to do this!
Finally, I wouldn’t be in this position at all if it weren’t for all of my fans at FictionPress. You guys kept me writing throughout it all with your encouragement and reviews. Whether I know you on a first name basis or not…you got me here! Cheers to you!
