Текст книги "Avoiding Commitment"

Автор книги: K. A. Linde

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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 29 страниц)

Lexi was lying back enjoying one of those afternoon cat naps when she was jostled awake. She grumbled as her ear buds fell out of place and drifting ocean noises took over for the tunes that had been playing from her iPod.

“Wake up, sleepy head,” Clark murmured as he sat down on the towel next to her.

She swiped at her eyes and pushed herself up against her elbows. “How long have I been out?” she asked sheepishly.

“A couple hours.”

“Where did everyone go?” she asked noticing that at least a few rather pertinent individuals were missing from the group.

“Probably doing to each other what I want to do to you right now,” he muttered huskily, his voice dipping low.

Lexi gulped. She tried to clear her mind of all thoughts of Jack. She did not want to think about him right now when her boyfriend was suggesting rather appealing options. However, she couldn’t help herself. All she could think about was whether or not Jack was with Kate, and what they could be doing up at the beach house almost completely alone.

“You want to go join them up there? I’m sure we can find an empty room in that mansion of a place,” he said winking slyly at her.

She giggled half-heartedly, her smile not fully reaching her eyes. “Maybe.”

Clark moved closer and rested his head in her lap. She wound her fingers through his thick, curly, black hair. He had let it grow longer for the beach, and she enjoyed the feel of it, knowing it would all be gone before graduation. “I bet I can convince Hunter to take the couch tonight if you want to sleep with me,” he offered. “You’re not getting enough sleep.”

In that moment, she was glad he couldn’t see her face. Guilt creased her features. The last thing she wanted to do was give up one of her last precious nights with Jack. She didn’t care how tired she was. They would never have an opportunity like this again, and she was planning on savoring every platonic second of it. “No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about me. I think I’m just adjusting to the bed finally,” she volunteered the information off hand.

“I was thinking I could give you some more incentive,” he said sitting up and pulling her face into his hands. His mouth covered hers quickly and deliberately. Only earlier that week she had reveled in every kiss. Now that she had tasted Jack again, if only briefly, the movement felt robotic and dispassionate. She felt no express desire for him in that moment and that knowledge worried her.

She smiled against his lips and pulled back. “I think I’m going to pass. You heard Seth. Thin walls and all. I’d rather not have everyone hearing us, and then talking about it.”

His eyes shifted focus. “Since when are you concerned with other people hearing and being self-conscious?”

“I’m not self-conscious,” she muttered tripping over her own lies. “I just...don’t want everyone to hear.”

“You don’t want Jack to hear?” he asked pointedly.

“I don’t see how that has anything to do with it,” she stated her voicing coming out faulty.

“Look, Lexi, I know you said you took my words to heart, and that ya’ll are going to be better. But I just have a really bad feeling about all of this,” he told her honestly.

She immediately went on the defensive. “What are you saying, Clark? Do you think that I’d do something?”

“No, I didn’t say that.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“Baby, I trust you.” He took her hands in his and looked into her big brown eyes. “I just don’t trust him. I don’t think, if he were given the chance, that he’d be able to stay away from you.”

“And what, I’m just going to sit by and let this happen?” she asked letting her guilt-ridden anger get the best of her. She had done just that so many times before.

“I’m not saying that either. Stop putting words in my mouth. I’m not trying to start a fight with you,” Clark said calmly. “I just have a bad feeling. I was hoping you would reassure me that my feelings are just misguided judgments of a jealous demented boyfriend,” he said looking up at her pleadingly.

“I agree with you, at least, about Jack. I’m not sure if he’s ever been faithful with anyone he’s been with. But that’s the reason that you shouldn’t be concerned,” she said feeling the lie start to form on her tongue. “Why would I let him get to me knowing that?” She really wanted the answer to that question.

He just shook his head. “I dunno, Lexi, but I hope you’re right.”

“You know me better than that,” she said snuggling closer to him.

“You’re right. I do. I love you, Lexi.”

She gulped. “I love you too.”

All throughout dinner Lexi remained withdrawn from the group. Her conversation with Clark echoed in her ears. She couldn’t help wondering if she should tell Clark that Jack had kissed her. But if she did that, then she would have to tell him about going out on the beach with Jack. She would have to explain why she had continued to meet him on the beach after that first night, and she wasn’t sure if she would be able to do that.

Sure, they had said they were going to just be friends, but she wasn’t an idiot. They wouldn’t be sneaking off together every night if they were just friends. After everything that had happened between them, Lexi was pretty certain that they could never just be friends.

“You sure you don’t want to join me? I’m sure you would sleep better in my arms,” Clark persuaded hugging her tightly around the middle outside of her bedroom.

“Rain check. I’m really beat,” she said nuzzling into his arm. She was really tired. That was the true part of the statement. The only problem was she wouldn’t be sleeping again for several hours.

“Alright. If you change your mind, you know where I am,” he said clearly disappointed.

He kissed her once more and then trotted up the stairs. Lexi breathed a sigh of relief that he hadn’t pushed her further on the subject. She quickly ambled into her room. This was the worst part about the night. Waiting. For Sandy to either sneak out of the room to visit Seth or pass out. Waiting. For the sounds of Clark and the guys quieting down and subsiding to slumber. Waiting. For the coast to clear.

After what felt like an eternity, Lexi extracted herself from Sandy’s grip and slinked out of the room. She rubbed her tired eyes as she moved into the den. Her smile lit up when she found Jack waiting for her. He could have been asleep. She was the one who waited for the coast to clear before coming to find him. There was no need for him to wait up for her. Those few hours rest were like gold right now, and he had chose to stay up and wait for her instead.

“Miss me?” she asked sitting down next to him on the lumpy blue sofa.

He yawned in the midst of answering her, “Ohhhhhh…yeaaaaah.”

“We should probably get out of here,” she said feeling his arm come around her middle and hold her in place. He tilted them backwards so that they were spooning comfortably on the couch. She sighed and nestled closer to him. Thoughts of leaving left her as she felt slumber draw close. The soothing feel of Jack’s breath hot on her neck caused her eyes to flutter shut, and she could feel herself begin to drift off. Then she felt his lips pressed to that same spot on her neck, and all of a sudden she was wide awake.

It was only one kiss, but it left her heart speeding ahead of her. She rolled to face him, and met his smoldering gaze. Everything about their embrace in that moment showed that they weren’t friends. That they could never be friends. That they were stupid for even trying. All she wanted to do was kiss him. Every nerve in her body was pushing her closer towards him. She had never stopped wanting him, as much as she tried to deny the obvious facts. When they were together, she lost all cognitive thought.

Jack moved closer, as if there was any room between them, and she could almost feel his sweet lips on her…almost taste him. A rumbling from upstairs stilled their movement. They waited a second for the noise to die away, but after a few seconds, it returned and stronger.

Lexi swore under her breath. The universe was really trying to keep them apart. Jack smiled at her reaction, but his face was strained.

“What’s going on up there?” she whispered to him in the darkness.

“No idea, but you should probably go back to your room,” he whispered back. His meaning was clear. They could not be in a more compromising situation. If she didn’t get back now, everything would blow up in their face.

“No.”

“Lex, you have to get back.”

“No.”

“You can come back once everyone goes back to sleep.”

“No.”

“No, you won’t come back?”

“No, I’m not leaving.”

“You’re so stubborn. We’re going to get caught. Go back to your room.”

“No, let’s go to the beach instead.”

“Do you not hear that upstairs?” he asked pausing to allow her to listen to the continued noise.

“Jack, I hear it, but they’re just going to go back to sleep, and then we’ve missed all our time together.”

He stared intensely at her before finally speaking, “Fine. Let’s get out of here before they come downstairs.” He scooted them off the couch, and after snatching up her hand, dove out of the house and down the stairs.

“How do you know they are coming downstairs?” she asked enjoying the feel of his hand entwined with her own.

“Were you not listening at dinner?” Jack asked lightly swinging their hands as they neared the water line. “I forgot about the conversation when we were…together.”

“Oh...no, not really. I was pretty spaced out I guess.”

“Yeah, I think I noticed that.”

“So, what’s going on?”

“Seth dared Hunter to go skinny dipping tomorrow in the middle of the day. Hunter agreed, but only if everyone else did it too. The girls were pretty grossed out by that concept. So Seth said they would do it later tonight when no one else was on the beach.”

Lexi giggled. “Yeah, I guess I was really out of it. Somehow I managed to miss that entire conversation.”

Without uttering another word, the couple began to take a slow paced stroll along the beach. If they stayed in front of the house, then they would be caught together by the potential skinny dippers.

The feel of Jack’s hand in her own almost burned her. All she could think about was how close to kissing they had been earlier on the couch. She would have succumbed to him. The familiar feeling of losing control had taken her over. Instead of steering away from the feeling, she had gotten lost in it once again. And now she was out on the beach with him when any of their friends could find them missing at any moment.

Surprise washed over her when they stopped in front of the pier. The pier was over a mile away from their beach house. Yet, time with Jack had just flown by. She hadn’t even realized that they had been walking so long.

He nudged her forward to keep her moving, and they slunk along the wooden planks. Lexi skirted the edge where an old fishing pole rested. They reached the edge and sat down on a green bench set up for tourists.

“I don’t know if I can do this anymore,” Jack’s husky voice muttered sounding defeated. It was such a strange sound coming out of him that Lexi had to stare into his face to even believe that he could feel that way.

Lexi knew what he meant. Her heart was racing knowing that they were so close together, but they couldn’t be together. Only a mile up the coast, their significant others were blissfully unaware of what was happening out on the pier. She felt terrible about the deception. Not only was the sleep deprivation killing her, but the lying too. She couldn’t keep up this act for much longer. Not when Jack wanted her. The way he had kissed the nape of her neck had proved what she already assumed. He had been trying to hold back how he felt from her all week, but moments like that kept creeping in to their time together. But they weren’t supposed to be together. Hadn’t she only thought earlier that the universe was just trying to keep them apart?

“I know what you mean,” she whispered sadly, her chin dropping to meet her chest.

“I’m not sure I want to break up with Kate though,” he said miserably.

That snapped her right out of her own pity party. Break up with Kate! Holy shit! Where had that come from? Maybe they were talking about two different things. “Uh, Jack?”

He tilted his head to look at her under his thick dark lashes. “Yes, my dear?”

“You’ve been thinking of breaking up with Kate?” She couldn’t keep the disbelief out of her voice.

He nodded choking on his own words. “Ever since I saw you like a vision on the beach the first day you got here.”

“Wh…Why would you do that?” She knew the answer. But she wanted to hear him say it.

“I thought that was quite obvious…for you.”

She sighed loving the way that sounded coming out of his mouth. She had wanted to hear that for so long. But would he break up with Kate? Could she think about breaking up with Clark? Her heart ached at the mere thought of letting him go. She didn’t want things to change with Clark. She loved Clark.

She just didn’t know exactly how she felt about Jack, and that scared her. Could she love Clark so much, and still want to spend so much time…have so many inappropriate thoughts about Jack at the same time? God, she wasn’t sure, and her head was pounding with the waves of confusion overtaking her.

“For me?” she finally got out.

“How could you not know?”

“I knew, but I thought it was like last time. I didn’t think you would want to end things with her. I didn’t think you want to…be with me,” she whispered into the cool ocean breeze.

Her hair whipped around her head and a long strand landed across her face. Jack reached up and tucked the lock behind her ear for her. He pulled her face closer to his and his voice spoke gruffly into her ear, “You have always been what I want. I just made mistakes along the way. I told you that I would make it up to you, that I would show you what I could be for you, if you would only let me.”

Lexi’s mind was racing along ahead of his words. He wanted her. Just like she had always dreamed. How could she turn away from him so long as he wanted her? Consequences be damned, Lexi pushed her face forward and moved her lips against his. Taken by surprise, he remained stiff. She was relentless though, and began to tease his bottom lip with her tongue. He moaned and she used the opportunity to insert her tongue in his mouth. She straddled his body and pressed herself firmly against him. His hands came up and wove their way into her thick brown hair. Yanking ever so lightly, he pulled her head back giving him access to her bare neck. She purred as he roughly kissed her neck hard enough to send waves of pleasure through her body, but not hard enough to leave a mark.

She grabbed the base of his shirt and began to pull it off over his head. He seemed to like the idea and did the same to her. He ogled her breasts for a moment before taking them both in his hands and massaging them. She arched her back, and he moved to flick his tongue against her rigid nipples. She was practically feverish for him. Despite the fact that she could feel every inch of him, she felt that there was too much clothing in between them. She wanted to feel his skin against her. She wanted to feel his rock hard abs against her stomach, and his hands rake her naked form. God, she wanted to feel every inch of him deep inside of her.

The way he was touching her made it pretty obvious that he was having similar thoughts. He couldn’t get enough of her. The succulent taste of her, her supple breasts in his hands, the way she was reacting to his every touch was sending him over the edge. He wasn’t one to resist temptation, and she felt so good. Not to mention she was practically throwing herself at him.

Lexi fumbled for his khaki shorts tugging at the difficult button. Her fingers missed the mark twice, and she was getting frustrated. She kissed him hard on the lips, and then stood up commanding him to do the same. He undid the button for her, and watched as she slid to her knees taking his pants with her. His eyes widened when she didn’t stand back up, and instead took all of him in her right hand, and began a gentle stroke. He couldn’t stop looking at her. The fluid motion of her hand as it hit the base and then pulled back up to the head. Then as his eyes began to close from an overdrive of emotions, he felt her hot wet mouth close around him. Brushing her tongue around the tip a few times experimentally, she took the rest of him in her mouth and sucked making sure his entire dick was wet. His breathing turned ragged and heavy as she continued her work on him. He groaned as she hit every nerve perfectly.

He felt himself reaching climax, but he didn’t want to get there just yet. He wanted her to feel everything he was feeling in that moment. He wanted them to feel that amazing moment of bliss together. With all the energy he could muster, he pulled back from her astounding movements. Her brown eyes looked even bigger than normal as they looked up at him in confusion. Forcing her to stop was even more difficult for him since she looked like all she wanted to do was finish him off. He hadn’t thought he could be any more turned on, but after that look, his erection was almost painful.

Grabbing her by her shoulders, he pulled her up and kissed her lips passionately. All confusion was wiped from her face as his kiss clouded her thoughts. Never breaking from their kiss, he scooped her up into his arms and rested her back against the bench. He left a trail down her front as he reached her tiny black shorts, yanked them to her ankles, and then tossed them to the cement ground. He worked his way back up pulling her legs up around his waist as he lay over her.

Lexi stared mesmerized into his gorgeous cerulean eyes. She had dreamed of this moment for so long. Now that it was finally here, she was even more turned on than she had ever imagined. His skin covered her body, and she could feel him pressed into her inner thigh. She whimpered with desire for him. “Oh, Jack,” she muttered kissing his bottom lip. He moaned deep in his throat and adjusted his position over her.

“You want me, Lex?” he asked speaking for the first time since his declaration.

“Oh, yes…yes, Jack, I want you,” she said swishing her hips so that she brushed her wetness against him.

He nuzzled down into her neck, and then pushed into her. She instantly cried out in pleasure at the feel of him. He buried himself deep into her and enjoyed the feel of her clenching and unclenching her inner muscles around him. She waited patiently as he held that position. She couldn’t believe that after all that time, it was finally happening. He was with her. He was inside of her.

She moaned loudly as he shoved harder into her. Then he began to set a slow languid pace. He was already close to the brink after the way she worked her mouth around him, and he was afraid with his overpowering desire for her that he would get there before her. She felt her body begin to flush as he continually pushed himself into her. They fit together perfectly. The feelings he sent throughout her body were unlike anything she had ever experienced.

As the waves of bliss continued coursing through her, she let her hips move with his adjusting her angle so that he hit all new places. Through pants, she managed to get out, “Jack…oh, Jack…”

“Mmm…yes?” he asked kissing her forehead.

“Harder,” she pleaded.

He groaned as she begged him. God, she was so fucking hot. She felt him give into her desires, and push into her harder and rougher. With the last few strokes they smacked their hips together, and then came at the same moment. Jack pushed deep into her and hugged her tight to his chest as she cried out into the night air and arched her back. The orgasm that rocketed through their bodies left them breathless and exhausted. A sheen of sweat stuck to their skin

After a minute, Jack lifted himself onto his wobbly elbows, and began to stroke her hair back from her forehead. “That was amazing,” she muttered weakly, her eyes still closed.

“I should probably move, but you feel so damn good,” he murmured kissing her on her swollen lips.

“Ugh,” she grumbled as he rolled off of her and began fumbling around for their clothes. She could not believe that had just happened.

They quickly put their clothes back on, and began to walk hand-in-hand towards the beach house. There was no need for words after what had happened. Anything they needed to say to each other could be left for another day…another time. Everything was too blissful and almost surreal to break the mood with thoughts of tomorrow.

As they drew nearer, sounds and jeers emanated down the beach. They both knew what that meant: the guys had actually gone through with their skinny dipping plans. Trekking up through the sand away from the waterline, they attempted a stealthy entrance as they closed in on the beach house. It was clear that there were a few bobbing heads in the water, but the last thing they wanted after what had just happened was to get caught red handed. Jack held his hand out to stop her steps as they heard something crash against one of the surrounding bushes. A light barely illuminated the entwined couple revealing Seth with one of the other bimbos he had brought along. Lexi breathed out in relief knowing that this meant Sandy was still likely fast asleep upstairs. Edging around the oblivious couple, Jack and Lexi sprinted up the stairs taking them two at a time and into the vacated den.

After standing silently in the den and verifying that there weren’t any lingering individuals awake, Jack kissed Lexi briefly on the mouth and then pushed her towards the bedroom. She surreptitiously entered the room to find Sandy snoring into the pink comforter. After she changed clothes, she crawled into bed and let her mind wander to the amazing night she had just had, and how close they had been to letting the cat out of the bag.

Before slumber took her, she couldn’t help wondering what was going to happen in the morning. She had no idea what their relationships would be like after what they had done tonight.

She knew one thing though: nothing would ever be the same.