Текст книги "I am free "

Автор книги: Regina Bartley

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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 13 страниц)

31

Grace

So many thoughts were running through my head that I couldn’t keep them straight, but the one thing that I was most certain about was Jackson. He loved me. He told me so, and I told him that I loved him too.

I sat there on the couch next to Jackson as he held my hand. I let him tell his parents what was going on. Before we even walked inside the house, I’d asked him to do the talking. I told him that he could tell them everything, but I just wasn’t in the mood to talk. I was already exhausted. My mind was rattled, and I couldn’t bare the thought of saying those words to anyone else again.

Claire came over to the couch to hug me, and for the first time all night I felt at ease. Don’t get me wrong, Jackson was comforting, but there was something different about the love of a mother.

Jackson’s father Nick shook his head several times, and I didn’t know what he would say. He was angry, in the same way that Jackson was.

“You’re welcome to stay with us for as long as you’d like Grace.” Claire said as she continued hugging me. I wasn’t usually the hugging type, but they were growing on me. And sometimes you just need a hug.

“Thank you.” I replied.

Nick walked out of the room, and Jackson followed. I glanced wearily at Claire.

“Don’t you worry dear? He’s not angry or upset with you. Nick had a bit of an ugly childhood, and I think maybe you remind him of himself.” She smiled sincerely.

“I’m sorry.” I had the whole apology thing down to an art. I was masterful at it by that point.

“No, no, no. It’s fine. I promise. He just needs a minute that’s all.”

We sat there quietly for a few minutes, and I thought about how much this situation weighed heavily on my heart. I did miss my Mom sometimes, and all though I’d been living happily since I’d left, the scars were always there. Not just the scars that were on my body, but the big ugly ones on my heart.

I couldn’t continue to drag everyone into the situation, and I couldn’t keep being afraid. I needed closure. Running away made me a happier person, but it didn’t make me free.

I wouldn’t be free until I said my peace.

I needed to tell them that I was gone for good, and that I was never coming back. I needed to get the rest of my things from that house. I needed to light a match under that final bridge and watch it burn to the ground, so that I’d never have to cross over it again.

“I need to go home.” I said loudly as if it were the greatest revelation I’d ever made.

Jackson walked back into the room. “You can stay here for the night, and I’ll take you home tomorrow after we get some sleep.”

“No.” I shook my head. “I need to go back home to Oklahoma.”

“What? You can’t do that. That’s nuts Grace. You can stay here with us as long as you want. Dad even said that you could move in if you wanted to.”

What a sweet, sweet family this was.

“I don’t want to go home to stay. I just want to go home and get everything off my chest. I want closure. I want my stuff. And I want to tell them that I’ll be out of their lives for good.” I admitted. “If I don’t quit running then they’ll never stop chasing.”

“We’ll take you.” Claire rubbed my back. “We will all go with you, and we’ll get your things, and we’ll keep you safe. If that’s what you need to do, then we’re here for you.”

Jackson frowned, but nodded his head. “If that’s what you need to do,” he said.

“You all would go with me?”

“Of course we will.” Nick said as he appeared from behind Jackson. I didn’t even realize that he’d been standing there this whole time.

The large tears streamed down my face.

“We’re family.” Jackson said as he sat down next to me on the sofa. He took my hand in his and kissed the back of it softly.

Claire’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. She was having an unbelievably proud Mommy moment. I saw it on T.V. once. I guess our cat was completely out of the bag, and we couldn’t hide the relationship from them. I didn’t mind though. If I could belong to any family in the whole world, this one would be it, by a landslide.

“Thank you so much.” I wrapped Claire up in another hug.

They were rubbing off on me indeed.

“I’m going to go call my Aunt. I know it’s late, but she will want to know what’s going on.” I said as I walked out of the room.

I am Free

It was Sunday already, and we were leaving on our epic road trip to freedom. They were Kennedy’s words not mine. Aunt Darcy apologized for not coming along, but I knew it would be hard for her. She didn’t want to come back to this place either, and I couldn’t blame her. She told me she was proud of me though, and we’d talk all about it as soon as I got back.

Yippee.

I rode all the way there in the backseat between Kennedy and Jackson. Both of them exhausted me by trying to keep my mind off of the task at hand. We played games, we sang, we talked, and I was about two minutes from lifting up the back hatch and jumping out. God love them for trying, but my nerves were shot.

When I saw the driveway to my home straight ahead I nearly threw up.

“No more talking please.” I said to them as the house came closer and closer into view. I knew what lay in store for me, and the thought made scratching my eyeballs out sound like the best plan of the day.

The car grew eerily silent as we pulled into the driveway. When the car stopped, no one said a word, especially when they saw my Dad walk around from the back of the house.

“That’s my Dad.” I said to whoever was listening.

“I’d like to have a word with him.” Nick said as he practically jumped from the driver’s seat.

“Let me out.” I told Kennedy, as I pushed her towards the door. I didn’t know what Nick was going to do, and this was my fight. I wasn’t some little girl anymore and I wanted the power he had over me to be gone.

I could already here the yelling before I reached them. Kennedy was taking her sweet time, and I knew why. She wanted to let her Dad get his say so.

“STOP!” I screamed when I reached them.

I had eighteen years to think of what I’d say to him, and I was drawing the biggest blank. Both men stood there looking at me and waiting for me to say what I’d come to say. Nick nodded his head for me to tell him.

“Dad.” I started to speak.

“You come up here bringing these God forsaken strangers into my house to tell me how to raise my children.” He started yelling in my face.

“SHUT UP!” I screamed. “I’VE HAD ENOUGH!”

It was the first time in my life I’d ever raised my voice at my father.

I took a deep breath and ran my sweaty hands along my skirt.

“I’m not here to fight, and I’m not here for you to yell at me like I’m this little girl that you have control over. I’m not yours to control anymore. I’m eighteen. I’m sorry that I didn’t do everything you wanted me to do, and that I turned out to be what you think is a poor excuse for a daughter. It wasn’t my intentions to be disobedient or saddening. I’ve never done you wrong in my life. I’ve never deliberately disobeyed you, yet you scolded me as if I were the child of a devil. Well I’m sorry, but this is me. This is the girl that I choose to be, and I don’t care if you don’t like it. You’re just going to have to live with it, because I’m not changing. Not for you, or anyone.”

My whole body was shaking at this point, including my voice.

“You came to me several times in my dreams. You were always scary and mean, and I would wake up some nights and pray that you would find the good in your heart, but I’m not sure there is good inside you anywhere.”

He started to speak but I held up my hand. He wasn’t going to ruin this for me too.

“This family,” I pointed to them all standing behind me. “They’ve shown me more love in the little time that I’ve known them, then you’ve showed me my entire life. You’re evil, and one day you’re going to pay for what you’ve done to me.” I swallowed the lump in my throat.

“I came back here today to tell you that I never want to see you again. I will get what’s left of mine from my room, and I will walk out of that front door. If I ever see your face again it would be too soon. Don’t come looking for me. Don’t call me. Don’t ever show your face at Aunt Darcy’s house again. You make me sick.”

His eyes were dark and dangerous, but he knew that I meant every word I said.

“One of these days I’m going to get married, and have kids. And when I do, I’m going to love them with every power inside me. I’m never going to hit them the way that you hit me.”

“I never touched you.” He said.

What?

I was stunned at his words. He was trying to make me out to be a liar, or maybe he truly believed his own lies. Maybe somewhere down inside of him, he’d blocked out those memories because he knew how wrong he really was.

I un-tucked my shirt from my skirt and lifted the back of it up.

I was completely oblivious to everyone behind. I didn’t care anymore if they saw, because I knew they’d still love me.

I turned around and let my back show to my father; all the while my true family were shedding tears. When I looked back at my father, his eyes were focused on the ground. He couldn’t even face what he’d done.

“Look at me. You did this.” I wanted an ounce of sympathy from him, just a tiny little ounce of remorse.

“I’d do it again.” He said.

“Go to hell.” I said through gritted teeth, but the words had barely left my mouth when Nick lunged at my father. He knocked him onto the ground and started to punch his face over and over.

“Don’t ever come near her again!” Nick shouted at my father’s limp body on the ground. “Go get your stuff inside, and we’ll leave.” He told me.

I didn’t hesitate. I ran through the back door, but the sight of my mother standing at the stove stopped me. She looked bad, not sick, just tired.

“Mom.”

“Grace,” she said and came around the stove to see me. That dreadful apron was tied at her waist.

“I’m just getting my things, and I’m leaving.” I told her. “I won’t be back.”

“I know,” she said. It looked like she held the weight of the world on her shoulders.

“You could leave too you know.” I told her, and I meant it. I wanted her to have freedom like me, but I wasn’t sure she’d even want it.

“I’m fine here Grace.” She admitted. “I’m glad to know that you are safe and well. Are you staying with Darcy?” She asked but the entire time she was looking over my shoulder as if my father would walk in at any minute.

“Yes. You can call me there if you ever want to talk to me.” She probably wouldn’t though, but now that she knew where I was, I would know that I did my part.

I waited for a response, but when she didn’t give me one I ran off to my old room. There were only a few things that I wanted, and the blanket that my Grandmother made was the most important. I hurried to gather my things, and as I was walking out my door I met my mother. My hands were filled, but it didn’t stop her from hugging me. She wrapped her frail arms around my neck and squeezed me. I don’t remember the last time my mother hugged me. I dropped everything I was holding to the ground and hugged her back. She didn’t speak and neither did I, but we didn’t have to. That hug was worth a thousand words.

“Goodbye,” I said as I took off for the door. I didn’t wait for her to respond, because she probably wouldn’t. The tears were flowing so hard out of my eyes that I could barely see anything in front of me.

Jackson and Kennedy met me in the yard and took my things as I climbed into the car. Once everyone was inside, I laid my head down on Jackson’s lap and cried.

I cried because I got my closure, I cried because of Momma’s hug, I cried because my dad would never change, I cried because I was finally moving on with my life, but most of all I cried because of all of the love I felt around me.

“I love you.” I said to everyone in the car; because I wanted them all to know how much they meant to me. I’d never hide my true feelings for them, ever.

Every single person in the car told me they loved me too, and they meant it. I was truly blessed beyond measure.

“I’m free.” I laughed, though my eyes were still clouded with tears.

“YEAH!” Kennedy hollered. “Free Bitches.”

I laughed and snorted at her words.

“Say it Grace.” She gave my leg a little shove.

What the heck?

“FREE BITCHES!” I yelled out and the car erupted into laughter.

So long old life, and hello new, fabulous, one hundred percent, better life.

“I love you Grace.” Jackson said into my ear, and kissed my cheek.

“I love you too.”

I watched as Oklahoma slowly faded into the distance. Silently, I said a little goodbye. You can take the girl out of Oklahoma, but you can never take the Oklahoma out of the girl.

THE END

Epilogue

Grace

I spent Christmas morning at home with Aunt Darcy, her boyfriend Paul, and Paul’s daughter Carly. It was a wonderful morning. Nothing like any other Christmas that I’d ever had. It was the first time I’d met Carly, and we hit it off right away. She was a very sweet girl, just like Darcy had said. I could see the two of us becoming great friends. Both of us girls cried when we watched Paul propose to Darcy right there by the Christmas tree. She said yes of course, and I was thrilled for her. She deserved such wonderful happiness. It got me thinking that maybe I’d need to look for another place to live. Who knew how long it would be before she decided to sell her home. It was something for me to think about anyway.

We continued opening presents for what felt like hours before having a great big breakfast that I helped Aunt Darcy fix. Kennedy showed up just in time to steal a muffin, and to pick me up. I was spending Christmas night at her house with her family. I couldn’t wait.

“You should see all the presents under our tree.” Kennedy said as we walked up the steps to her house. “Mom said that we had to wait for you to get here before we could open them.” She rolled her eyes.

“You guys didn’t have to wait on me.”

“Oh yes,” she proclaimed. “You’re a part of this family and we don’t open presents until the whole family is here. So move your feet.”

I laughed as she pushed me through the front door. Jackson picked me up and spun me around before both feet had even made it inside.

“I’ve missed you.” He kissed my cheek.

“You just saw me last night.” I replied, and kissed him lightly on the lips.

 I suddenly realized that they were acting kind of weird. I felt like Jackson and Kennedy had some big secret that they were keeping from me, and that they were making hand signals or something behind my back.

It was weird. There was definitely something off.

Jackson tugged me along to the living room, where the rest of the family was sitting with big cheesy grins on their faces.

Yep, something was up.

I searched the room for some kind of a clue as to what was going on, but found nothing.

Except…

Under the tree were no presents. Kennedy had said just moments ago that there were tons of presents under the tree.

I squinted my eyes in her direction. “You little liar. What’s going on?”

She just smiled but didn’t say a word. Tucker walked into the room and swooped me up for a giant bear hug.

“They have a big surprise for you, but I’m not supposed to tell you.” Tucker whispered in my ear. He really was a little rebel, but I loved that about him.

“Merry Christmas Tucker.” I whispered back.

“Merry Christmas Gracie.” He said loudly.

“I can’t wait any longer.” Nick jumped up from his lazy chair. He handed me a manila folder, kissed my cheek, and said, “Merry Christmas Gracie. We love you.”

Just melt my heart like butter why don’t ya?

“Open it,” Kennedy bounced in excitement.

I sat down on the couch and slowly opened the envelope. There was a sheet of paper and a key inside.

I read the paper to myself not once, but twice. It couldn’t be real. How was this possible? My eyes were wide as I scanned the room. Tears welled up in my eyes as I thought about what they had just done for me. I was speechless.

“Read it out loud Grace.” Kennedy said to me.

“Miss Grace Dearman,” I sniffled. “We have reviewed your application, and are pleased to announce your acceptance to Aurora Lane University for the 2016 spring semester. How did you guys know I applied? And how did you make it happen?” I cried.

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head? It’s done and you’ve got a bright future ahead of you. The year of two thousand sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, and nineteen will be paid in full.”

“Four years.” I jumped off the couch and nearly tackled Nick off his chair. “Thank you so much.” I cried into his shoulder.

“You’re welcome.”

I hugged Claire too, and told her how wonderful she was. Their generous gift was beyond words.

“We gotta go shopping now, roomie.” Kennedy pulled me to her side.

“Roomie?” I looked at her confused.

“The key silly. We have our own place. You and me are going to be partying it up.” She knocked my hip against hers.

“No parties for me, but YAY to being roomies.” I clapped.

“And this is why we love her.” Claire said to Nick. They were talking about me. They thought I was a good influence for Kennedy, but truthfully she was a good girl all on her own.

“Come on, college student. I have a present for you.” Jackson took my hand and led me out of the room. Tucker whistled at us as we left making me blush.

“Can you believe it Jackson? I’m going to school.” An enormous smile was plastered on my face.

“Yes I can, and you’re gonna do great.” He said sweetly. “Merry Christmas.”

He handed me small red box.

“We weren’t supposed to buy gifts. I told you that.”

“This is a different kind of gift, and I didn’t buy it.” He brushed a lock of hair from my face. “Open it.”

I lifted the top off the beautiful red velvet box. “It’s beautiful.”

There was a small silver ring covered in a vine design.

“It was my Grandmother’s ring. It’s simple and beautiful, just like you.” He took the ring out of the box. “I was hoping that you would wear it as a promise ring.”

“A promise ring?” I asked.

“It will always remind you of my promises to you. My promise to always protect you, my promise to be your friend when you need one, and my promise to love you forever.”

“I’m a lucky girl.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his lips.

“Yes you are.” He kissed me back. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

Freedom is an amazing feeling, but freedom and love is above and beyond.

Acknowledgements

Can you believe it? This book is finally finished, and I feel like it has taken me forever. I’ve never more prouder of myself, because of the struggles with this book. This is the third time that I have come back to this story, and now it’s finally finished. I can’t believe. I guess 3rd time really is the charm. I hope you all loved it as much as me. Grace is pretty spectacular and I have wanted to tell her story for so long now.

There are tons of people to thank as always. I’m starting with my readers today. I have the greatest readers ever, and I have you to thank for each and every book that I write. I love you guys like crazy. Without you, this wouldn’t be possible.

My supportive family at home who’ve been my rock, I love you guys. You are my life, and I am grateful to have you all. My husband and kids always support me one hundred percent, and that makes me a very lucky gal.

My Royals!!! Gosh, I love you girls. My royal street team is the best. They have supported me from day one, and they mean the world to me. Not only are they badass book pimps, but also they’re also crown-wearing rock stars. Love you all.

Thank you Micalea Smeltzer. I know that I thank you in each and every book, and that you’re probably sick of hearing it, but I truly don’t know what I’d do without you. It’s because of your support and your mad sprinting skills that this book was even finished. I owe you. You’ll always be my most favorite partner in crime, and we’d look damn good in capes. Love you forever.

Beta Readers!!!! You know who you are. You’ve been by my side from the beginning and I can’t thank you enough. All your hard work and time never go unnoticed. You’re the best of the best. Thank you.

Last but not least, I have to thank my niece Kelsey Hellard. I dedicated this book to her, because she’s so special to me. She was my very first niece. I still remember the day she was born. I was only ten years old. I’ve watched you grow up, and you’ve taught me so much. Probably more then I’ve taught you. The way you view life is a truly amazing gift, and I hope that more people will do the same. You see beauty in everything, and you have a kind heart, much like Grace. I love you Kels, and I thank you for being not just my family, but my friend.

About the Author

Regina is a contemporary romance writer from Kentucky. She lives there with her husband, dog, and cat. You can find her behind her computer, a good book, or watching sports. She loves to hear from her readers. Find out what’s coming next by following her Facebook page!