Текст книги "Complicate Me"

Автор книги: M. Robinson

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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 22 страниц)

I watched him walk in from the corner of my eye. It had been a few days since I first saw him. He sat out on the deck, and I made my way out there, tray in hand. I placed it on the table, and he smiled the same dimply grin that made my belly flutter and my palms sweaty.

“The boys didn’t scare you off, huh?” I joked with a hint of amusement in my voice and a hand firmly positioned at my hip.

“I like to live life on the edge.” He leaned back in his chair as he looked up at me with a slight glimmer in his gaze. “You’re too pretty to stay away from.”

The crimson red crept along my cheeks, immediately making me feel hot all over. I ignored his comment and moved the glass of water, with the chips and salsa from the tray to the table, not meeting his fixated glare that was intently placed on my flushed face.

“I really need to stop blushing around you,” I admitted, handing him the napkins.

“Please don’t,” was all he said.

I smiled, peeking up at him through my lashes.

“So, Alexandra—”

“You can call me Alex.”

“Can I now?” he teased. “What if I don’t want to?”

I raised an eyebrow, trying to hide the smile from my face.

“Alex is a boy name and you darlin’, are no boy.”

I giggled and it seemed foreign coming from my body. I sounded like a girl, and I tried to pretend that I didn’t love that.

“Besides, Alexandra is a beautiful name and it suits you just fine.”

I nodded while I pursed my lips, making him cock his head to the side. “Are you enticing me, beautiful girl?”

“Wow,” I breathed out. “You are quite the flirt, huh? This work for you back home?”

He smiled, big and wide and folded his arms over his chest. “I don’t know, is it working for me now?”

I smiled back, shrugging. “Where you from anyway?”

“You change the subject when you’re shy and you ignore compliments, good to know. I’m from California.”

I smirked. “Ah, hence the surfing.”

“Hence she says,” he teased again.

“Are you done?”

He shook his head with a proud look on his face. “I haven’t even started, darlin’.”

“Where in California?”

I could see that he wanted to call me out on the fact that he was right about everything he claimed. “Santa Barbara.” But he didn’t. “Ever been?”

“No. I’ve never been anywhere before.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“Well coming from someone who has been everywhere, there’s something to be said about a small town girl.”

I jerked back with lowered eyebrows.

“In the best possible way that is,” he added after taking in my grimace. “This is the first time I’ve been to Oak Island, though.”

“You should check out the pier or umm, the lighthouse.”

“You should show me,” he quickly followed.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I mean you’re my only friend and all.”

“I find that hard to believe,” I stated with a grin.

He put up three fingers. “Scouts Honor.”

I laughed. “What would you like to order?”

He grabbed the menu, looking at it for a few seconds and moving his head side-to-side to the music playing from the speakers. “I’ll take the gator bites and a cheeseburger with curly fries.”

“Coming right up.”

“And, I’ll take you as a tour guide for a day.”

I peered up at him while writing his order on my pad of paper. “I work every day this week.”

“Next week?”

“I don’t know yet,” I lied.

“Yes, you do. Oh, come on, don’t make me beg.”

I narrowed my eyes at him in laughter.

“It’s not a date if that’s what you’re thinking. Not that I would mind that, but I just think we should get to know each other before you fall in love with me.”

My eyes widened and my mouth dropped.

“You’ll see,” he simply stated.

I shook my head because quite frankly I had no clue how to respond to that, and I wasn’t going to pretend that I did. I spun and left him sitting completely pleased with the effect that he had on me. There was no hiding it.

Cole Hayes was something else.

I just hadn’t figured out what that was yet.

We sat inside at our usual table, sitting directly across from where I could see Alex. I watched her talking to Cole, anxiously wanting to know what went through her mind. What she thought about. What she felt. What she wanted. I imagined it had something to do with the pretty boy who sat in front of her. I ignored the plaguing assumptions and directed my attention back to her.

The way she blushed.

The way she smiled.

The way she pursed her lips when she was nervous.

How her head would tilt back when she laughed, always laughing with her entire body that had Cole quickly mirroring her contagious laughter. How her hand would instinctively find her cocked hip, waiting to emphasize her sassy comments and witty stance. All the feisty mannerisms that made her who she was, all the little things that I loved so much about her, Cole witnessed with a fascinating regard of complete and utter devotion. He couldn’t look away even if he wanted to.

And he didn’t want to.

He was completely mesmerized with our Half-Pint, wanting to know more. Wanting to know everything. Both of them entirely wrapped up in each other, oblivious to anyone or anything around them.

As much as I hated seeing her flirt with someone who wasn't me and trust me, I fucking despised it. I couldn't take my goddamn eyes away from her. My gaze solely focused on her and her alone. I barely paid any attention to him or at least I tried not to. The crazy thing about it was that I watched her hundreds of times, shit it may have been thousands by that point. I often wondered if she knew half of what I truly took in, my eyes could sense her presence anywhere. I gravitated toward her. She was like a magnet to me. It had always been that way, especially when we were kids. At times, I felt like it was mutual, that we were connected in a way that neither one of us understood. But as I sat there taking her in, watching her every move, I would be lying if I said it didn’t make me question the bond we had.

Was it just in my mind or was it actually real?

I couldn't be around them for very long, the jealousy that washed over me was hell. The constant subtle body language between them taunted me from across the room. I wanted to walk over and tell Cole to back the fuck off. My possessiveness could be felt around the room. It was that thick and consuming, blinding and overwhelming. I drowned in it. I couldn't put it into words or coherent thoughts. I felt it in my very being. It flowed through me like the waves of the ocean, dragging me under until I couldn’t breathe.

I knew what she meant to me.

But for the first time I sat there and watched her through different eyes. It was like admiring a whole new person, someone I saw for the first time. I couldn't fathom how that was even possible, we grew up beside one another our whole lives. How was I just now noticing the shift between our Half-Pint and Alexandra?

How did it take me this long?

No longer the little girl with pigtails running after us, insistent that she would do everything we did. Dressing like us, and acting like us, it didn’t matter what it was, she’d always been one of the boys.

One of us.

Right before our very own eyes, the feisty, shy, adorable girl, the same one who would tackle you to the ground if you ever called her one, acted like a real girl. Somewhere along the line she shed her Half-Pint skin and slowly transformed into her own being. She became Alexandra. She didn't need the boys or me. She could stand on her own and be her own person. It took me seeing her with Cole to realize and acknowledge it.

She grew up.

As much as I wanted to go over there and stop whatever spark ignited between them, I didn’t want to interrupt seeing her blossom. Seeing her appear so different but still the same, if that made any sense at all. It only added to the pile of things I loved about her.

I caught Cole’s demeanor every once in a while, taking everything in and cherishing every second of it. She had the same effect on him that she had on us.

Especially me.

Jacob's glare was seen out of the corner of my eye, it was the exact same stare I gave her, them. As soon as she walked back into the room our eyes locked across the distance. The connection we always shared found its way into both of our bodies, almost like it was ingrained in us. Her apprehensive, almost questioning gaze immediately spread across her face, making me lower my eyes to my menu. I could play off staring at her, but there was no way in hell I could hide my natural response to her at that moment. So, naturally I pretended it never happened and Jacob hadn't noticed when I knew damn well he did.

“Hey,” she announced with a steady voice when she reached our table. “Good waves today, huh? It’s windy out. I put your orders in, they should be out soon.”

I nodded while I played on my phone. “What did douchebag want?”

“Be nice,” she warned in a lighthearted tone.

I looked up at her and smiled. “I’m always nice.”

She smiled back, her face sedated. “I’m going to check on your orders.”

We ate our food and played some pool to let it digest before heading back out. The swells were getting bigger and higher.

“I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll catch up with you guys,” I said after we paid our bills. Jacob lingered for a few seconds but didn’t call me out on it, nodding his head and following the rest of them out.

I saw her walking across the room into the hallway. My feet moved forward as if being pulled by a rope, and I found myself following her. She made her way to the restroom, and I was grateful it was secluded in the back of the building, because I waited for her.

“What did he want?” I immediately questioned when she came out of the bathroom.

She gasped, putting her hand on her chest. “You scared the crap out of me.”

I had reached for the side of her face before reason and doubt took over, my fingers grazed her cheek, and I tucked a misplaced hair behind her ear. Her lips parted and her chest rose.

“You look really pretty today. I wanted to tell you that. Your hair is getting so long.” It was almost down to her waist, she wore white jean shorts and a crop top that showed a little bit of her belly when she moved fast. The restaurant called for casual beach attire, so her parents never made the staff wear uniforms. They dressed how they wanted.

“Thank you,” she replied almost out of breath. I wanted to know that I had an effect on her as well. I wanted to know a lot of things. I took my hand away and slipped it back in the pocket of my board shorts instead.

She cleared her throat. “What did who want?”

“Oh yes, the douchebag. What the fuck did he want?” It came out harsher than I wanted it to sound.

She cocked her head to the side. “He wanted to order food. I’m his waitress remember?”

“You’re not his anything,” I crudely stated.

Her hand found its way to her hip. “I am the restaurant’s waitress, so therefore I’m his. He wanted to order food. You know the reason people come into the restaurant is to eat. I take their orders, put them in with the cook, and then bring them back out to serve. Pretty standard stuff, Bo, you’ve watched me do it for how many weeks now?” she mocked, catching me off guard.

“Better take the sass down, Half-Pint.”

She raised an eyebrow, stepping toward me. “Or what?”

It all happened so fast. I barely had time to register what occurred. My mouth moved while her eyes connected with mine. I could feel her breathing on my lips and the smell of cherry lip-gloss and Cherry Coke assaulted my senses. I placed my hand on the nook of her neck and pulled her closer to me, the touch of her breasts against my chest was an unwelcoming sensation that I didn't need in my already fucked up mind.

The next thing I knew, her soft pouty lips were pressed up against mine. Her mouth slightly parted and with the tip of my tongue I lightly touched her lips, gliding my tongue along the gloss-scented coating. It was over before it even began when I begrudgingly drew away, not before claiming her mouth one last time and enjoying the sensation that only she stirred within me. Our eyes opened at the exact same time, the hooded gaze I had grown to love carved deep within her pupils, mine mimicked hers, I was sure.

“Stay away from the douchebag,” I ordered, grinning, my hand still clutching the back of her neck. “Unless you want me to remind you again?” I challenged, hoping she would say yes.

She immediately closed her eyes not wanting me to see her truths.

“That’s what I thought,” I chuckled, tugging her toward me and kissing the top of her head. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

I knew one thing was for sure…

Game on motherfucker.

I watched him leave as my fingers brushed along my lips where he had just licked. Lucas was always in control, even when he wasn’t. He must have seen something that had shaken him enough to want to remind me of what we were to each other. I stood there with my erratic breathing and my heart pounding waiting until I couldn’t see him anymore to move.

What the hell was that?

I don’t even think he knows.

I shook my mind off the lingering thoughts and emotions, needing to get back to work but taking a few minutes to compose myself before I made my way back to Cole’s table.

“You ok?” he asked as I bussed the table.

“Yeah,” was all I could say.

“You sure? You look flushed.”

I nodded not meeting his eyes.

“I guess I have that effect on you.”

His words made me look at him, confused. “What?”

“And I make you speechless,” he cockily stated with a grin, exposing the dimples that instantly made my palms sweaty.

I laughed I couldn’t help it. “Sorry to say, it has nothing to do with you.”

He put his hand over his heart in a dramatic manner. “Ouch. A guy can dream, can’t he?”

I smiled, shaking my head and continued to clear his table.

“So about next week. What time can I pick you up?”

“I didn’t say yes,” I reminded, not meeting his prying eyes but feeling them precisely on me.

“You didn’t say no either.”

I sighed, taking in a deep breath. “Let me think about it.”

“You sure are putting a lot of thought into us hanging out. You’re making me think you don’t like me.”

I narrowed my eyes at him and he smiled, giving him the exact reaction he wanted. “You do like me, don’t you?”

I cocked my head to the side with a penetrating stare.

He put his hands in the air in a surrendering gesture. “I need to hear you say it or else I may never recover. Do you want that on your conscience?”

I rolled my eyes, grabbing the tray and placing it on my hip. “I don’t think you need anyone to over inflate that ego of yours.”

He let out a rough deep laugh. It was one of those laughs that formed in the bottom of his belly, then rumbled its way up and erupted from his mouth. "Damn, Alexandra, you're just making me fall for you more and more. Is that your plan? Seeing as mine is backfiring."

I ignored him again. "Here is your bill." I placed it in front of him and walked back inside. I needed to readjust myself from Lucas and Cole. They overwhelmed me in ways I wasn't used to, ways I didn't understand. For some reason, I knew he wasn't the type of guy to hear no very often. I didn't want to lead him on. By the time I wandered back to his table he was gone, all that sat there was a $20.00 tip firmly placed under the black receipt holder.

His name and phone number written across it.

As soon as my shift was over I walked out to a beautiful burnt sky. It held the promise of a calm night over the horizon. My eyes shifted away from the mystical colors to Lucas, waiting for me across the street in his parked truck. My foot hit the running board and my hand landed in his. We pulled in unison, Lucas, helping me with the leap.

“Hey,” I greeted.

“How was the rest of your shift?” he asked, shifting the gear into drive.

“Went by fast. Why didn’t you come back in?”

Our eyes locked and a satisfied grin quickly appeared on his face. “You know why.”

I kept his intense gaze for a few seconds, trying to read his amused expression that made my heart skip a beat. Not wanting to break the calm that was displayed all around us, I decided to turn my head and look out the window. Sometimes it was better not to disturb the storm that followed him everywhere. We had driven in silence for a few minutes before I noticed he missed the turn to my house and then again to our abandoned house.

I finally asked, “Where are you going?”

“To South Port,” he simply stated.

“To town? For what?”

He ignored my question.

“Are the boys meeting us there?”

“No.”

“Then why are we going?”

He cleared his throat like his mouth had become suddenly dry. “I’m taking you out,” he rasped, holding onto the steering wheel tightly. “Me and you,” he added.

“What about the boys?”

“Fuck them.”

“Oh…” I stayed silent for another few minutes and finally blurted, “Like on a date?”

He smiled as his grip made its way to my upper thigh, squeezing it firmly. I squirmed and giggled.

“Put your seatbelt on,” he ordered, still not answering my question. It didn’t matter I already knew the answer. I’d known before I even asked.

We pulled up to Putt-Putt Golf. Lucas jumped out first and helped me out of his truck when I opened the door. “Thanks,” I half-whispered.

He’d done this several times, except this time he hadn’t let go of my hand. I followed close behind him as he led the way, cherishing how he guided me effortlessly. I enjoyed the feel of his huge hand. It was so bulky in mine. Hoping we could stay in this moment forever and not let it pass us by. Secretly praying we would get a chance to be like this. Always. I tried not to think about all the things that awaited us when we stepped back into Oak Island, our families, and the boys mostly. I lived in that second with him. Where we could just be Lucas and Alex, loving each other’s company and not wanting it to end.

We played two rounds of Putt-Putt and he won both freaking times. I hated playing games with him, he never let me win and it infuriated me to no end. I think he did it on purpose, just to get a rise out of me and see me act adorable.

His words, not mine.

We strolled down the beach, hand-in-hand until we came up to an ice cream shop. He ordered two scoops of vanilla adding peanuts, my favorite, and chocolate with fudge, his favorite.

“I have some change in my truck,” he told the girl behind the counter.

“It’s fine.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out my tips. The twenty-dollar bill fell to the floor, and standing at attention was the name Cole and his phone number, fiercely burning against the ceramic tile.

Lucas and I both stared at it like it was diseased infected, and the mere thought of what was to come made my stomach hurt. He bent down, grabbing the twenty-dollar bill and placed it into his back pocket. For a quick second, I wondered if he was actually going to give it back to me. When I looked up, I saw the answer to my question on his face. I paid the girl and then he reassuringly grabbed my hand again, this time much tighter than before. He found a secluded spot on the beach where we could take in the waves of the ocean while eating our ice creams, even though my appetite had become almost non-existent.

We sat side-by-side, leaning into each other.

“He asked me to be his tour guide for the day,” I divulged, wanting to break the tension between us.

“Are you going to go?” His tone was neutral.

I was surprised by his response. I expected a lot worse. “I don’t know,” I honestly replied.

“Would it matter if I told you I didn’t want you to go?”

I glanced at the side of his face. “Are you telling me that?”

“What if I was?”

I bowed my head and stared at my cone, it started to melt down the sides and drip onto the sand. “That’s not fair.”

“Do you like him, Alex?”

“I don’t know him, Lucas,” I countered, throwing his name back at him.

“Do you want to get to know him?”

“He’s nice,” I said loud enough for him to hear.

It was like taking a knife to the heart. “He’s a fucking douchebag,” I stated, remembering the way he squared off to me, provoking me.

“You don’t know him, either. You’re not being nice.”

“I don’t give a shit what I’m being. The guy’s a fucking douche. I don’t like him, and trust me the feeling is very much mutual.”

“How do you know that?”

If he hadn’t mentioned our encounter to her then neither was I. “I didn’t think you found pretty boys like him attractive,” I said, changing the subject.

She shrugged.

I hated all this lingering bullshit placed in between us. I didn’t know how to express myself into words without getting pissed off and letting my temper get the best of me.

“Did you take me out because of him, Bo?” she murmured, not taking her stare away from her cone that melted everywhere. I grabbed it and licked all around the edges, making it good as new and handing it right back to her.

She shyly smiled. “Thanks.” Immediately licking where I just did, making my dick twitch. It was so innocent, she didn’t even realize the effect it might have on me. All it did was reinforce the fact that she was still so fucking young. I had to stop watching her and shake away the thoughts, but I didn’t want to answer her question either. It wouldn’t come out the right way. The truth was he did have something to do with it, but not in the way she would interpret it.

She was mine.

I didn’t want to share her.

Not with Cole.

Not with anyone.

How do you explain something you don’t even understand?

“You take Stacey out,” she said, pulling me away from my thoughts and making me look at her again.

“Not like that.”

“Like what then?”

“She doesn’t matter,” I firmly stated.

“You always say that.”

“It’s the truth.”

She sighed and then opened her mouth to say something but quickly shut it.

“Say it,” I ordered in a serious tone.

“It’s nice having a new friend.”

My head jerked back and I narrowed my eyes at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It just means that it’s nice meeting new people. All I’ve ever had is you boys, and sometimes I’ve felt left out, is all.”

“When?”

She bowed her head, looking at her cone once again. “Dylan has Aubrey, Jacob has different girls all the time and don’t even get me started on Austin,” she hesitated for a few seconds, “You have—”

“You,” I clearly asserted. “I have you.”

She finally looked up at me. “Do I?”

I didn’t falter. “Always.”

We stared at each other for a few minutes, neither one of us saying anything, but I knew hundreds of thoughts ran rampant through our minds and there was much more we wanted to express. When you’re that young, you don’t realize how short life truly was. You think you will have all the time in the world to be and do whatever your heart desires, it will eventually get there. It’s bound to happen.

One day.

Two simple words that meant everything.

In the back of my mind I always thought our time would come, it was only a matter of time. When we were older, when we understood what we meant to each other, when our parents would understand, when the boys could understand.

When… when… when…

Our relationship was filled with what ifs, and maybe some days…

It was complicated.

It was messy.

It was us.

I couldn’t take her in small doses and I couldn’t take her in large ones. Nothing was ever enough. As we got older, it just piled on and before we both knew it, we went from hundreds of things to say to nothing. The pile became a mountain of endless questions and not enough answers.

As any sixteen-year-old boy would do, I ignored the warning signs and this was the first one that would lead to many. So I did the only thing that came naturally to me, I lunged on top of her and she shrieked, catching myself before all my weight fell on her. I gazed into her serene eyes before kissing her cheeks, her chin, her forehead, and then the tip of her nose.

“You’re heavy,” she laughed, trying to squirm her way out of my hold.

“Nah.”

“I can’t breathe.”

“That’s because you’re laughing. Why ya laughin’ if you can’t breathe?” I teased, moving my hand to her ribs.

“Don’t,” she warned.

“What are you talkin’ about?”

“Bo, I will hurt you.”

“Nah.” I tickled her anyway.

“This is torture!”

“It’s not torture when you like it.”

I held her down and started tickling her everywhere until I found her sweet spot, it was right in her inner top thigh. I dug my fingers in and tickled the hell out of her, she screamed, kicked, and laughed all at the same time. Her laugh was fucking contagious and I finally had to let go, falling over on my back laughing. She immediately gasped out of breath, and I grabbed her hand kissing it and laying it back on my chest.

We laid in comfortable silence for a long time.

“Bo…”

“Hmmm…”

“I’m going to show Cole—”

“Shhh, let’s just lay here okay?”

“Okay,” she half-whispered.

I had to let her grow up, but it didn’t mean I had to fucking like it.

A few days had gone by before I saw Cole again. He was dressed in slacks and a button-down shirt with a tie when I watched him walk into the restaurant with an older man that I assumed was his father. They sat inside instead of his usual table on the deck.

“Hey,” I greeted.

He gave me a simple nod and then looked down at his menu. Which was odd but I didn’t say anything about it.

“Would you like to hear the specials?” I asked them.

“I don’t have time to hear the specials. We will take your soup of the day and some salads, can you put a rush order on that. I don’t have time to waste,” the man demanded.

“Oh. Umm, yeah. Would you like—”

A scowl appeared on his face as he looked up at me. “No, I would not. Run along. Put our orders in.”

My eyes widened and I looked over at Cole who had his head bowed with shame, but he didn’t say anything. Not one word.

I nodded and backed away to go put in their orders. The rest of the lunch went exactly like that. Cole wouldn’t meet my eyes and the man he was with was rude and mean, although he did leave me a thirty-dollar tip on a twenty-dollar meal. Several hours had past when I saw Cole sitting outside on the deck in his usual seat. A huge part of me didn’t want to acknowledge him at all, or even serve him for that matter, but I decided against it.

As soon as he heard the door open he looked up and we locked eyes.

I reached his table. “What can I get you?”

“I owe you an explanation.”

I shook my head. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“My dad, he’s well, he’s… fuck, he’s an asshole.”

I raised my eyebrows, surprised with his stammer.

“My mom is better but not by much. My parents, they’re just pretentious and self-righteous. They treat everyone like that, it’s not personal.”

“Why—”

“Why didn’t I say anything?” he interrupted. “It’s not going to change, it’s better when I ignore it.”

I nodded, not knowing what to say or do.

“I meant it when I told you I don’t have a lot of friends, and all the so-called ones I do have aren’t anything to brag about. My family has a lot of money and I’ve been everywhere, Alexandra. You seem real and honest, and I haven’t really ever met someone like you.”

I weakly smiled.

“I would love for us to be friends. I know I need one and something tells me that you do, too.”

“I’d like that, Cole.”

“Good.”

“So, I’ll take you up on your offer to show you around. I mean if you still want me to?”

“Of course.”

“I have off tomorrow. My dad has a golf cart that we could use, it makes things much easier than walking around.”

“That sounds perfect.”

I wrote down my address on the pad of paper, ripping it out and handing it to him.

“That’s my address. Let’s say around noon?”

“I’ll be there.”

“Now. What can I get you?”

He stood up. “You gave me what I wanted.” He slipped the piece of paper in his pocket. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I watched him leave with anticipation and sadness. I felt bad for him. There was more to Cole than meets the eye and I knew right then and there.

That we had that in common.