Текст книги "Complicate Me"

Автор книги: M. Robinson

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Текущая страница: 19 (всего у книги 22 страниц)

“Holy shit!” I cussed with my mouth wide open.

They immediately stepped away from each other, both of their hands in the air.

“Oh my God! Lucas is going to kill you. He’s going to murder you and hide the body. I’m going to know about it, I’m going to be an accomplice!” I shouted.

“Shhh...” Jacob hushed, pulling me inside and shutting the door behind him. “It’s not what you think.”

“Not what I think? Did I not just walk in on you kissing Lucas’s baby sister? His sixteen-year-old sister! Oh my God, Jacob, you’re twenty-three! You could go to jail. Please tell me that’s all you guys are doing!”

“Shhh… calm down, someone will hear you,” he silenced again.

“That’s what you’re concerned about?!”

“Alex, I love him,” Lily chimed in, grabbing my arm to look at her. “I’ve always loved him.”

“Lillian, stop saying that. You don’t know what you’re saying. You don’t even know what that means,” he ordered in a demanding tone like this wasn’t the first time he had heard it.

“You love me, too! You just can’t say it out loud,” she replied, ready for battle.

This was all too much for me. I had to sit down before my legs gave out from under me.

“Stop! I mean it,” he urged in a desperate voice.

“Stop what? The truth? You wouldn’t keep kissing me if you didn’t love me. Who cares about our ages, it’s just a fucking number.”

“Watch your mouth,” he demanded with a finger out in front of him.

“Screw you! You’re not my dad. I’m not a child.”

“Then stop fucking acting like one.”

“Oh my God.” The realization hit me. “She’s the girl, isn’t she? The one from last spring break? Jesus, how long has this been going on?” I asked, my wide eyes going back and forth between them.

“Nothing. Is. Going. On,” Jacob gritted out.

“Stop. Saying. That.” Lily clenched her fists at her sides, looking from him to me. “Why are you looking at us like that? You more than anyone should understand this.”

I immediately stood. “Me?” I argued. “What do I have to do with any of this?”

“You!” She pointed at me. “You love my brother, my brother loves you. You have loved each other since you were kids! The only reason you’re not together is because everyone else won’t mind their own goddamn business and just let it be. You would think you’re related or something. It’s so fucking stupid!”

“Lillian, watch your mouth,” Jacob scolded.

“Oh my God, fuck you! Are you going to stand there and pretend you’re not one of the main reasons they aren’t together? You have been butting into their business since the beginning. You all have. I’m over it. It’s stupid. They love each other, exactly the way we do! Except you can’t get over the fact that I’m Lucas’s sister. Who cares? I don’t and neither should you.”

I shook my head, stepping back.

“You more than anyone can understand what it’s like, Alex. Please don’t stand there and be all judgmental, age is just a number. I’ve grown up with these boys as much as you have. It’s not like he's old enough to be my father or anything, now that would be gross.”

“Lily, it’s against the law,” I reminded.

“Fuck the law,” she let out.

Jacob was over to her in two strides. “I will not tell you again. Watch your fucking mouth.”

She put her hands up in the air. “You know what, you two can stay in here and wallow in all this negative energy. I’m not going to stand by and allow it to effect me. I know you’ll come find me, Jacob, because you LOVE me! So let’s see who’s right and who’s wrong. I guarantee you that I won't be waiting long, stew on that for a little bit.” She turned and left.

I sat down again, resting my elbows on my legs and laying my head in my hands. Neither one of us said anything for the longest time. My head hammered with the silence. I thought back on all the times I saw her take his ball cap off his head and one day he just started putting it on her himself. It was such a meaningless gesture but it seemed to be significant to them.

“I don’t know how it happened, Alex. I swear to God I don’t. One second she’s five years old running around in pigtails and then the next she’s sixteen. I tried. I tried like hell to ignore it. To ignore her, but you know Lily, she does what she wants, exactly like her brother. After your accident, she started opening up to me, and I let her because she was a kid and she needed a friend. I liked being around her, she reminded me so much of you. I don’t fucking know,” he sighed.

“Have you?”

“Fuck. No. All we do is kiss and that sounds a lot worse than it is. We’ve kissed a few times and it didn’t start till her sixteenth birthday. I swear to God that girl is like a tornado and I can’t help but be sucked in.”

I raised my eyes, blown away from his analogy, it being so close to mine for Lucas.

“I just turned twenty-three and she’s going to be seventeen soon. I know that doesn’t make it any better, I know it doesn’t make it right. Fuck, Half-Pint, she’s not wrong. I think I’m in love with her, how fucked up is that?”

I watched him pace around the room until he finally stopped and sat down in the desk chair, facing me, hunched forward with his arms on his legs.

“I have no idea what to say,” I softly said.

“I’m sorry, Alex. All these years, all I’ve ever done is… I mean… with Lucas and you… I just. Fuck… this is my fucking karma.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

“I know, you don’t have to say it. I know.”

“Does anyone know?”

“Of course not.”

“What are you doing in her room? You know that could have been Lucas walking in here. Do you have any idea how bad he’s going to beat you for this? Oh my God, Jacob, he’s going to murder you.”

He lowered his eyes and peered at the ground, rubbing his hair back and forth like he wanted to tear it out. “I know. You have no idea how many nights I’ve lost sleep because of this. I need to get away from her. It’s one of the reasons I’m applying to law school so far away. I need to put distance between us.”

“Does she know?”

He shook his head.

“Oh man…”

“I’ve made my bed and now I have to lie in it. This is the only thing I can do to make things right.”

“She’s going to hate you.”

“It is what it is, I can’t keep leading her on like this. I am sending mixed signals all the time, but I can’t help it. I can’t explain it either.”

“You don’t have to. I understand.”

“Half-Pint, it was never about you. It was Lucas. None of us thought he was right for you. You deserve, you deserve someone like Cole.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s in the past.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry if I ever influenced anything that caused you pain. I love you.”

I nodded. “I know. Everything happens for a reason,” I found myself saying again.

“You’re not going to tell—”

“I promise… but if this shit hits the fan, because it’s eventually going to, I’m going to claim I didn’t know anything. I'll pretend to be just as surprised as everyone else.”

He laughed and stood. “I’m going to—”

“Go.”

When he left, I realized Lily was right. It didn’t take long for him to go after her.

Proving that he really did love her.

After all.

“Dad, I come to work with you, tay?”

“Hmm, I think you’re still too small, bud.”

“I not small.”

“No, you’re not small. You’re a big boy now. Momma is on her way here. Oh! I think that’s her at the door.”

“Momma!” he shouted, running on his chubby little legs to the door.

“Mase!” I warned, coming up behind him.

“I know, I know. Who dis?” he asked through the door.

“It’s me, baby,” Stacey announced on the other side.

“It’s Momma,” he nodded like he told me so.

I helped him open the door and he jumped into her arms.

“Oh, little man, you are getting heavy, I’m not going to be able to carry you soon.”

“Momma,” he giggled into her neck, making us both laugh.

“Okay, okay, I’ll carry you as long as you want.”

“Come on in.”

“Your condo is always so clean, Lucas.”

“It helps when you have a cleaning lady.”

“Only you could say that and make it sound sexy.” She placed Mason on the ground and he took off running toward his room. I knew he wanted to show her the picture that he drew earlier.

“Want a drink?” I offered.

“Sure. I’ll take a water if you’re offering.”

“Water?” I arched an eyebrow. “What happened to the beer drinking girl I used to know?”

“She had a baby and grew up.”

I handed her bottled water, grabbing one for myself. We walked out onto the patio as the sunset loomed on the horizon, which always made for a scenic panoramic view over the water.

“This view is so breathtaking. It’s been a nice, calm summer. I still have a hard time believing Mason’s already three. He’s grown up so fast.”

I nodded, understanding. Not much had changed in the last two years. My company flourished which seemed to happen overnight. I rented a warehouse in South Port where I designed a few kitchen and bathroom mock-ups for potential clients, and my office manager did an amazing job running things so I could still get my hands dirty. I had several project managers that handled multiple developments, but I couldn’t sit behind a desk for more than a few hours without going stir crazy. I belonged in the field and I think my employees appreciated the modesty of it.

The only thing that really changed over the last two years was my mom’s health. It disintegrated with each passing day. She hated hospitals and refused to be admitted into a hospice. My dad hired a few nurses that helped when we had to work and couldn’t tend to her. It started to get harder though, as much as we tried to ignore it. We knew the end might be near soon.

Alex never moved back home after she graduated from college. Last I heard from Jacob was that she and Cole moved in together. They were renting a house on the beach in California, near Berkley, the law school he attended. I saw her a few times here and there, but we only exchanged a few words, nothing more than standard conversations.

She looked happy.

She seemed happy.

Jacob attended Stanford law school out in California, too, so he saw Alex every so often or so he said. He didn’t come home much. School and his internship took up most of his time. He was in a relationship with a girl named Beth that I hadn’t met yet. Though he thought about bringing her home for the holidays in the next few months. Dylan was in training for Special Ops and we got together every few weeks to shoot the shit. He dated some girls on and off but nothing serious, I think work took up most of his time and I believed that’s the way he wanted it. Now Austin, no one had seen or talked to him in years, other than his parents and those phone calls were few and far between.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about over there?” Stacey asked, nudging me with her shoulder.

“Not much.”

“When was the last time you surfed, Lucas?”

“Hmm…” I glanced at her.

“Surfing? When was the last time you hit the waves?”

“Oh.” It took me a minute to think about it. “God, years probably.”

“You worry me, between work, Mason, and your mom, that’s all you do. It’s not healthy. When’s the last time you did something for yourself?”

“I spent most of my life thinking about me and it got me nowhere. It’s probably a good thing that I take a step back from that.”

“Maybe a step back. Not miles upon miles.”

“I could say the same thing about you.”

“Yeah… about that… I uh… I’m sort of seeing someone.”

“Really?” I replied, taken aback.

“It’s new. He came into the office for some therapy. He’s the new soccer coach over at the high school, he moved here from Florida.”

After Stacey had Mason, she went back to school and became an occupational therapist assistant. She said she wanted to do something with her life, for Mason. He needed it and so did she. My dad helped her find a position with one of his physician friends.

I barely recognized her most days she changed so much.

“He’s nice, but I don’t want to read too much into it. Just in case.”

“I understand.”

“You know, I used to think we would end up together.”

I eyed her with caution. “Stacey…”

“I know. I’m not saying that I still expect that or anything, but a huge part of me wanted it to happen. I hope you don’t hate me for what I’m about to tell you. That night at the bar, I wanted to be with you. I knew you were drunk, I knew you were hurting.” She bowed her head. “I wasn’t that drunk. I wish I could tell you that I regret it, that I’m sorry for trapping you but I’m not. Not even a little and that may make me a horrible person, but Mason saved me. I wouldn’t give him up for anything in the world.”

I looked back over at the water, contemplating what to say to her. I wasn’t surprised by what she admitted. She didn’t have to tell me that, I already knew. I had known since the moment she showed me the positive pregnancy stick. I never thought she would actually admit it, though. I guess it showed how much she had really grown up. She was right about Mason he did save her and in a way he saved me, too. He stopped my hurricane, or maybe he was the quiet before the storm. Whatever it might be, he paused the chaos around me, and for that I would always be grateful to her.

“You know we’ve known each other since seventh grade? Ten years. I can honestly say that I’ve seen you at your worst and I’ve seen you at your best. You’re an amazing mother. Mason is lucky to have you. We share a lot of memories, some of them better than others, but you’re not the same person you were four years ago. I do care about you, Stacey, and that’s not just because you’re the mother of my child.”

She raised her eyes, placing her arms on the railing to look out at the same view I was.

“For what it's worth, I was really fucked up back then. I used my body to get attention and Jesus did I get attention. Growing up I thought I was in love with you and now realize it was more that I wanted what you had with Alex. What she had with all of you. I’m sorry if I fucked that up for you.”

“It takes two to tango. And fuck, did we tango.”

She laughed. “We were really good at it.”

I laughed with her. “That we were.”

“Do you miss her?”

I didn’t falter. “Every day.”

“I bet she misses you, too. She doesn’t look at him the way she looked at you. The way she still looks at you. You know she sends Mason stuff all the time.

“What?”

“Yeah. She umm, stops by every time she’s in town. She came with Cole once and I could tell he didn’t like that she was there to see your son. She didn’t let it bother her, though.”

“When was this?”

“Last time she was in town.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“She asked me not to.”

My eyebrows rose, completely caught off guard.

“Your mom sends her pictures frequently, Lucas, and she’s been doing that since he was born.”

My mouth dropped open. “My mom… she’s never…” My mind couldn’t keep up with the emotions that soared through me.

“Mason really loves her, but I got to get him home, it’s time for his bath. I don’t want to get him off his routine.”

“Okay.” I followed her inside and to her car, buckling in Mason and kissing his head goodbye.

That night when I laid in bed I thought about everything Stacey had shared. I wanted to be happy, but something in my heart wouldn’t let me and I would find out soon enough what that was.

“Oh, God,” I moaned, gripping the sheets with my hands.

“Mmm…” Cole hummed as his mouth continued its assault on my core. When I felt his finger enter my opening, my back arched off the bed and my eyes rolled to the back of my head. He moved his fingers deep inside me, hitting the sweet spot that drove me over the edge.

I breathed out my climax while he kissed his way up my body. “I fucking love the way you taste,” he groaned before claiming my mouth.

“Darlin’, I want to feel you.”

I reached for the condom that lay beside me. “Cole,” I panted. “Please.”

“Alexandra, we don’t need it. I’ll be careful. Just this once.”

I unwrapped the condom and placed it on him, rolling it up his shaft.

“Uh,” he growled into my mouth. “That’s fucking cheating.” He never let up, caging me in with his body as he effortlessly slid inside, causing me to moan upon impact.

“Fuck… you feel so good. How do you feel this fucking good, I was just inside you last night? You were made for me, Darlin’.”

He grabbed my hair by the nook of my neck and brought his lips back up to meet mine. He pecked me at first, teasing me with the tip of his tongue along the outline of my lips. My tongue sought his and our kiss quickly turned passionate. Moving on its own accord, taking what the other needed. He never broke our connection as his fingers brushed against my cheek and then down to my breasts. He caressed them lightly, grazing his fingers around my nipples and then along the sides. At the same time, he kept his other hand firmly in place behind my neck. He then rested his elbows around the sides of my face with his whole body displayed on top of me, and immediately lapped at my neck and breasts. I started to rock my hips and he took my silent plea, gyrating his hips and making my legs spread wider to accommodate him.

“That feel good?” he groaned, making his way back up to my mouth.

“You know it does…”

My arms reached around him hugging him against my body, wanting to feel his entire weight on me. He leaned his forehead on mine and our mouths parted, still touching and panting profusely, trying to feel each and every sensation of our skin on skin contact. He put all his weight on one knee and used the other for more momentum to push in and out of me.

“Tell me that feels good,” he urged, as close to his climax as I was.

“Yes… God, yes…” I shook with my release, taking him right over the edge with me. He kissed all over my face like he did every time when we were finished. Pecking my lips one last time before reluctantly getting off me. I immediately grabbed the sheets when he was up and moving around.

“Why do you always do that?” he asked, pulling up his gym shorts.

“Do what?”

“That. Cover yourself. I hate to break it to you, but I’ve seen you naked lots of times.”

I blushed.

“Never mind, cover yourself all you want, as long as I get to see your face turn that beautiful shade of red.”

“Cole,” I squealed into the sheets, leaning over to lie on my side with my head on my arm.

He lay beside me with his arm holding his head up. “So I’ve been thinking.”

“That’s dangerous.”

He grinned. “I’ve been working at my parents law firm a few months now and you know how much I despise it. Probably as much as you do yours.”

“I don’t hate my job.” I started working at a marketing company, but it wasn’t exactly the right fit for me. I wasn’t very good at talking in front of people and it showed with my presentations. “I just don’t particularly like it.”

“You know my parents are driving me insane.”

“Mmm hmm…” His parents still hated me, I think more so now than ever before.

“So I’ve been coming up with a plan.”

“Like a five-year plan?”

“Sort of. Except more like a two year-ish plan.”

“Okay?”

“I thought maybe I could open my own firm with three guys that graduated the top of my class with me. They’re smart, really smart, been working at top law firms since we graduated a few months ago. I think it would be a great opportunity, for me, for us.”

“Yeah, that sounds great, but what do I have to do with that?”

“Well, you have a finance and business degree, I thought maybe you could come run things in the office. Like an office manager, slash finance coordinator, slash my sex slave.”

I laughed. “I don’t know, Cole. I don’t think that’s such a good idea. I mean us working together?”

“I have another idea. I actually love this one more.”

“Okay?”

“I know we’re still young, I’m only twenty-four and you’re twenty-three, but what if you become Mrs. Hayes and I knock you up with some kids? I was thinking maybe four or five? I was the only child and so were you, I definitely want us to have a huge family.”

My eyes widened and I sat up. “What?” I asked, stunned.

He reached into his pocket and brought out a bright turquoise box that read Tiffany’s in black bold lettering.

“Oh my God.”

“I’ve wanted to do this for a really long time, Alexandra. I’ve had this ring for over a year, I bought it when we moved in together. I’ve been waiting for the right time.” He opened the box and the biggest diamond I had ever seen before sparkled bright against the light from the sun.

“Cole…”

He got down on one knee and all I kept thinking was that I was naked and he was proposing with a ring that wasn’t me. It had to be at least three karats, and that didn’t count all the diamonds around it and on the band.

I never even wore jewelry.

“Cole…”

“Alexandra Collins, I love you. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Will you marry me, Darlin’?”

I looked from the ring to him, back to the ring again. My mind a big jumbled mess. I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know what to do.

Shouldn’t I just know? Wouldn’t it be instinctual to say yes? Isn’t this what every girl wanted?

My heart was beating rapidly, hammering in my head, and making me feel dizzy. Lightheaded.

“I don’t—”

His eyes widened, worry immediately flashed through his gaze.

“I…” I licked my lips, my mouth suddenly dry. “I…” I stammered once again.

“I. Love. You,” he emphasized with a look of pure love and devotion and I crumbled.

He was a good man…

He had always been there for me…

He loved me…

He would never hurt me…

I would be safe with him…

Always and forever.

So I shut my eyes and said, “Yes.”

Except when I did...

Why did I see Lucas’s face?

“Merry Christmas,” Mason said to everyone who walked through the door.

It was my mom’s idea to host Christmas Eve. She wanted to have everyone there, and by everyone I mean everyone.

Stacey went to her boyfriend’s house to spend the night with his family. Things were getting serious between them and I couldn’t have been happier for her. Lily got accepted to several colleges, getting a free ride to multiple ones for her talent in music. She decided to attend Wilmington to be close to my mom and Mason. She still lived at home, even though my mom begged her to live in the dorms so she could experience some college life. She downright refused, saying she was needed at home.

“You know Alex is coming, right?” Lily reminded me again.

“Yes. You’ve told me that once or twice. I’m also aware that she’s coming with Cole. Did you forget about him?”

“I wish.” She rolled her eyes.

“I thought you liked Cole.”

“I do but in the way I like vegetables, just because they’re good for you doesn’t mean they taste great.”

I shook my head. “Where do you come up with these analogies?”

“I’m smarter than you.”

I chuckled.

“She’s also coming with Aubrey and her boyfriend, Jeremy.”

“And to think I thought tonight would be a shit show. I wonder what would ever make me think that?”

We walked into the foyer at the same exact time that the door opened and Mason jumped into Alex’s arms.

“Hey, Mase!” she greeted. “I missed you.” He wrapped his arms around her neck and she hugged him close to her body, rocking him side-to-side.

It warmed my heart, seeing that our complicated relationship didn’t affect her love for my son. The realization only made me love her more if that was even possible.

“Hey,” she said when she saw me staring at them.

“Merry Christmas.” It was then I noticed that her long hair was gone. It no longer lay down her back. It was the shortest I had ever seen it, a little past her shoulders with layers everywhere that framed her face.

“You cut your hair?”

She shyly smiled, nodding. “Merry Christmas.” Not letting go of Mason.

She moved inside, allowing Cole to step in behind her. He seemed as arrogant as ever and I wanted nothing more than to knock that fucking smile off his face. Some things never change. My desire to hurt him was still alive and thriving. Aubrey walked in next with who I assumed was Jeremy. We all exchanged greetings, except I hadn’t hugged or kissed Alex’s cheek like I had Aubrey’s.

I couldn’t.

I wouldn’t have let her go if I had.

Besides, she held my son firmly in place around her neck where my necklace used to lay. The irony was not lost on me. I didn’t need to embrace her for her to feel me. She already held my entire world in her arms.

The night went on with normal festivities, we ate, we drank, and Cole didn’t leave Alex’s side. When the clock struck midnight everyone celebrated with hugs and well wishes. I decided to be the bigger man and shake Cole’s hand.

“Merry Christmas, Cole, I hope this year brought you lots of joy,” I acknowledged, expecting him to reiterate the same blessing.

He cockily smiled with those stupid fucking dimples displayed proudly on his face. “Oh it’s been an amazing year, and it’s going to be an even better new year, Alexandra has already made that happen.”

Everything stopped.

Everything.

My breathing hitched, I swear to God my heart stopped beating in my chest, only for a second. A surge of panic flooded my body, my mind, and my soul at precisely the moment my heart started beating again.

Loud and hard in my chest.

Alex looked over at him, eyes wide and full of fear. “Cole,” she said in a pleading hoarse tone. She cleared her throat and begged him to stop with that look in her eyes. He didn’t even get it. He couldn’t read her at all, not like I could.

“We agreed, Cole. You promised,” she added with the same desperation in her voice.

Cole’s smile beamed with admiration, right down to Alex.

My Alex.

At first it was like a movie. When you know something bad is about to happen, the anticipation of knowing what is coming was stronger than the ability to stop it.

I couldn’t stop it.

I couldn’t stop this.

His hand tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and his fingers brushed down her cheek. “Darlin’, is it so wrong that I want to share and celebrate our news with our family and friends.”

A quick grimace crossed her face. It was subtle, but I noticed.

I noticed everything.

The entire room became enlightened to some sort of cosmic energy. I knew everyone was there, that it wasn’t just Cole, Alex, and I, even though that’s how it felt. It felt like it was just the two of them and me. I didn’t want it to be them and me. It was supposed to be her and me.

Fuck him.

I tried to swallow away the lump, the one that made me sound like a teenage boy when I asked, “What news?”

My eyes glanced to Cole and I swear he fucking smirked. His eyes darted around the room and he smiled with bright white teeth. Teeth I wanted him to swallow after my fist knocked them down his fucking throat.

Once my eyes landed on hers, it was all over. I didn’t need to turn to the clinking to know what it was. Cole raised his champagne glass in one hand and a fork in the other.

The metal clanked off the glass, mimicking a ringing bell. “Excuse me. Hello! Can I have your attention, please?”

The entire room silenced at an eerie speed as he spoke and all eyes turned to Cole.

Everyone’s but mine.

Mine stayed intensely absorbed in Alex’s. Hers stayed fixated on mine. This trance was different than anything I’d ever felt with her before. We’d been doing this dance with our eyes for as long as I could remember.

This one was definitely different.

This one would hurt badly.

This one would destroy.

Cole thanked the room for being quiet and spewed his speech. “I would like to start off by saying that Alexandra might be upset with me for spilling the news. She didn’t want to take away from the night and the memories of all of us being together, but that’s Alexandra, always thinking of others.” He reached for her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and tugging her to the side of his body.

I’m almost positive she sent me a sad smile, but I may have imagined that. Our eyes stayed locked together, nothing or no one for that matter could ever break that between us.

I had that.

It belonged to me.

I knew the second the words fell from his lips that would be it. Our glass house would shatter around us. The last tether would be cut for good. The hurricane would stop, no longer wreaking havoc on our souls.

“Alexandra and I are getting married.”

And just like that the rope was cut in two.

Her and I.

Him and her.

Cole and Alexandra.

Except it also sliced…

My heart in two.

I spent the rest of the night avoiding her. Avoiding everyone. I was like a ticking bomb, the more I saw all of my family and friends rejoice and congratulate them the more I felt like I was going to blow the fuck up. Alex knew, that’s why she kept her distance from me.

She wouldn’t look at me.

She wouldn’t talk to me.

Nothing.

When they were leaving she didn’t even raise her eyes to say goodbye, but she made a point to hug Mason tight and let her lips linger more than necessary on top of his head when she kissed him. Cole shook my hand with a smug look on his face like the son of a bitch he was. Jeremy rushed out of the house followed by Aubrey, who appeared like she had been crying when she said her goodbyes. I looked at Dylan for answers. His pissed off expression spoke volumes, but he quickly left right after so I didn’t get to ask him what happened.

Lily barely spoke five words all night, which was completely not like her. She loved being the center of attention. I didn’t pay too much attention to Jacob and I felt bad that I hadn’t gotten to know his girlfriend, Beth. She seemed nice from what I could gather, though.

I spent the night in my old room. I wanted to feel close to her, to us. I tossed and turned all night, not sleeping at all. The words, “Alexandra and I are getting married,” played in my mind like a broken fucking record. Every time I shut my eyes, I envisioned her in her wedding dress, walking down the aisle to say, “I do,” to a man that wasn’t me. I tried to block those images out of my mind and think about all the memories we shared together.

It didn’t help.

I became angry, the eye of the storm was gone and I could feel the hurricane inside me begin to blow. Before I knew it, the sun was up and I was out of bed, showering and getting dressed. I went down to the beach to get some coffee and as much as I tried to ignore the winds and chaos around me.

I found myself stepping up the porch stairs to our abandoned house.

Stopping dead in my tracks when I saw…

Alex.