Текст книги "Complicate Me"

Автор книги: M. Robinson

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“You ready?” I asked.

“Yeah. I just need to go to my locker. I forgot my Algebra book. She gave us a ton of homework to do over Christmas break,” Alex replied.

“I’ll walk you.”

“You don’t have to. I’ll meet you guys by the bike rack.”

I nodded, walking away. “Okay, hurry.”

Four months went by and it was officially Christmas break. We had two weeks of no school and no drama. Having Alex in the same school as us proved to be eventful, not only was she developing in all sorts of places, she was also coming into her own. She started wearing makeup, and I despised it. The first time she walked out of her house wearing lipstick, I was literally off my bike and over to her in three strides, wiping the peachy color right from her lips.

The boys hollered, “Hell yeah,” as they witnessed me doing it, and she didn’t speak to me for the rest of the day. Saying some shit about me embarrassing her and not letting her grow up. I didn’t pay her any mind because, for one, she could never stay mad at me, and for two, I wouldn’t allow her to stay mad at me. We pretty much beat the boys off with a stick. They knew Alex was off limits before she even walked through the doors on the first day of school, but that didn’t stop some of the fuckers from trying to get her attention.

“Hey, baby,” Stacey greeted, coming up beside me and nuzzling her arm around mine.

“Hey.”

“I thought this day would never end. Finally! Christmas break.”

Stacey and I weren’t serious, and we weren’t exclusive either. I guess you could say we were dating. She tried to make me jealous with different guys an infinite amount of times, and I always blew her off each and every stint. She could do whatever she wanted, and I told her that often. All it did was confirm what the boys and I already knew about her, and as shitty as it sounded, it worked for me.

“What do you want to do over break?”

I shrugged. “I haven’t really given it much thought.”

“Oh, well then maybe I should think about it for us.”

“Or let’s just play it by ear.”

“Okay…” she muttered, holding me closer.

“Where’s Half-Pint?” Jacob asked as we walked up to the bike rack.

“She had to get her Algebra book from her locker. She said she would meet us out here.”

“She’s going to be a while,” Stacey smugly informed, baiting me.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I questioned, eyeing her.

“Oh, well, I saw Gavin cornering her—”

“Cornering her?” Dylan interrupted, stepping off his bike.

“Jesus calm down, guys, they’re just talking. Leave her alone.”

Austin raised an eyebrow, rounding the bikes. “I’ll go get her.”

“No one needs to come get me,” Alex chimed in, strolling up to us. “He was just asking me for the assignments that needed to be completed durin’ break. No need to come and scare him. Trust me, boys know I’m not to be messed with, y’all have laid down the law.” She rolled her eyes.

“What’s your problem?” I asked.

“What’s yours?” she argued, sitting on her bike.

I couldn’t tell if she was pissed because of the way we protected her or because Stacey was still wrapped around my arm. I assumed it was a little bit of both. Stacey had a way of making herself seem more important to me than she truly was, and it always happened to be when Alex was around.

“I’ll see you later, baby.” She tried to kiss me on the mouth, but I turned my face at the last second, and she kissed my cheek instead.

“Half-Pint,” I coaxed, getting on my bike, trying to get her to look at me.

“What? I’m here. Let’s go.”

She was the first to take off and I pedaled up beside her while the boys rode way in front, even after all these years she still couldn’t pedal as fast as us.

“Are you going to talk to me?”

She glanced at me, annoyed. “Why wouldn’t I talk to you?”

“I know you better than that. Give me some credit.”

“Fine,” she scoffed. “I think it’s ridiculous that you boys guard me like rabid dogs, I mean you pretty much pee on me to keep boys away and it’s not fair.”

I laughed. I couldn’t help it, she couldn’t say things like that and not expect me to laugh.

She glared at me.

“What? Oh come on I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh.

“Yes, you did.”

“Maybe. A little bit. Like half a cup.”

She grinned, staring back in front of her to avoid smiling at me. I told you she couldn’t stay mad at us, especially me.

“It’s still not fair,” she repeated, the attitude in her tone calming.

“I never said life was fair.”

“What if I did that to you? Huh? What if I made sure girls wouldn’t talk to you? What if I told Stacey to go fly a kite or something?”

“Fly a kite? That’s the best you got?” I teased, knowing that she didn’t cuss. I don’t think I had ever heard a cuss word come out of her mouth before.

“Bo, you know what I mean. You wouldn’t have it. You would put a stop to it immediately. You all would. It’s not fair that the rules are different for me.”

“You’re a girl,” I simply stated.

If she weren’t riding her bike, she probably would have tackled me to the ground because I called her one. Even though she dressed like one, it still didn’t give us the right to say it to her. The heated scowl she shot in my direction was enough for me to know that she was past her breaking point of not being taken seriously.

But again I didn’t give a shit.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Half-Pint.”

“Say that you’ll let me grow up.”

“We do.”

She frowned.

“Sort of,” I mumbled, my eyes shifting every which way.

She sighed. “I’m never going to experience anything because of you boys.”

“Excuse me? What are you bickerin’ about over there?” I trailed closer to her, if I wanted to I could reach out and pull her hair from her face. She always wore it down now, she never put it up and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love it.

“Never mind.” She pedaled faster, trying to get away from me.

At least that much I knew.

We caught up with the boys and I couldn’t stop thinking about what Alex implied. She was making new friends outside of us, girls, never boys, and I wondered if that had something to do with it. I realized girls talked about that kind of stuff. Maybe they had said something to Alex about experiencing things. I mean sixth grade was when most of our friends started kissing, I was the only pussy that waited until seventh.

Though I had already kissed her.

But not that kind of kiss... Was that what she wanted?

There was no way in hell that she was going to kiss another boy, especially that sort of kiss.

What do I do?

“Lucas!” Alex yelled.

“Hmm,” I peered up at her from the table at her parents’ restaurant. We were eating lunch. We usually ended up here after school to eat before heading home to do our homework. We ate at school, but that didn’t stop us from being constantly hungry. It was Christmas break and we didn’t have anything but time.

“Where did you go?” she asked.

“What?”

“Just now. You seemed lost in thought or something.”

Everyone looked at me so I smiled. “I’m good.”

We finished lunch and the boys wanted to surf, we left our boards in the office at the restaurant. It made it easier for us to hit the waves whenever we wanted, versus having to go all the way home to get them. Alex said it was too cold outside to sit on the sand and watch us like she usually did and decided to go home to start on her homework instead. Saying she didn’t want to worry about it for the rest of the break.

“I’ll ride back with you,” I said, nodding to her. “I’ll be back once I get her home.”

The guys nodded, understanding, and headed toward the water.

“You don’t have to do that,” she informed, taking my stare from them to her.

“I want to.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m not a baby. I can make it home by myself. I can take care of myself.”

“What’s with the attitude?”

“You just don’t get it.” She shook her head, walking away from me.

It was the second time that day that she tried to get away from me and it only pissed me off. Her moods were changing faster than her damn dresses.

I couldn’t keep up anymore.

I ran, kicking up sand with my sandals to catch up to her, tugging her by the arm to stop and face me. “What’s your problem?”

“You! You’re my problem,” she shouted near my face.

“What the fuck did I do? I’m just taking you home.”

And then she pushed me, like full on shoved me and I barely wavered, which only infuriated, and then she pushed me again. My eyes widened, surprised and partly amused with her feisty spirit that always did things to me.

I grinned and tackled her to the sand, laying right on top of her and holding her in place. “Do you need a cuddle? Is that what this is about? Do you need a hug? I give really good cuddles and hugs,” I teased in a high-pitched voice, holding her tighter.

“Oh my God, Bo! This is cheating,” she laughed, unable to resist my charm.

“See all you needed was some attention,” I proudly stated.

“Get off!” She thrashed.

“No.”

“Lucas Brody Ryder…” she warned.

“Just because you call me by my full name doesn’t mean I’m going to listen to you. That only works for my mom.”

“Then get off of me.”

“Not until you stop whatever hormonal shit you’re going through right now.”

She gasped.

“Wrong thing to say?” I taunted. “How about this?” I reached down her side and tickled where I knew she hated, right under her ribs, making her whip around and laugh all at the same time. “Are you done? Is it over?” I tickled the other side.

“Stop!” She laughed out, trying to catch her breath.

“Say the magic words.”

“Yes! Yes, I’m done,” she exasperated.

I instantly stopped, leaning back to sit on my knees, and she took the momentum of my movement to push me, making me fall in the sand.

“Jerk!” She stood up, glaring down at me with a satisfied look on her face that she made me fall over.

“You’re going to pay for that later,” I grinned.

She rolled her eyes again and reached her hand down to help me up. It took me a few seconds to actually trust her to not shove me down to the sand again, also contemplating on whether to drag her down onto the sand with me. But she was already smiling and I didn’t want to break the current shift in mood.

We rode our bikes in comfortable silence and when I didn’t turn down her street, I saw her smiling from the corner of my eye.

I told you.

She was all about the little things.

I just couldn’t stay mad at him.

He made it absolutely impossible for me not to laugh and he knew it, too. Which only made it worse. It was like adding fuel to the fire, making it bigger and wider with each flare of gasoline. When I saw that he didn’t turn down my street and kept riding in the direction of our abandoned house, I smiled.

There was no helping that either.

The times that he chose to be with me over the boys warmed my heart, especially when he preferred me to surfing.

We parked our bikes behind the house and ran up the stairs. Over the last few months, we had turned it into our own little paradise, bringing blankets and pillows to throw on the floor, candles for when it got dark. Sometimes Lucas would even bring in wood from outside to turn on the fireplace. We had magazines, board games, snacks, and water. Everything we needed was there.

I loved it.

He handed me a bottled water to drink and then I passed it back to him so he could, too. I laid down on the blankets and pillows and beheld the vaulted ceilings with a content sigh.

“Whatcha’ thinkin’ about over there?” he questioned, sitting down facing me.

“How much I love this place.”

“Good.”

“I want to get married here.”

“What?” he chuckled.

“You heard me. I want to have my engagement party here and I want to get married here. And then I want to buy this house and raise a family here,” I firmly stated.

“Aren’t you a little young to think about stuff like that?”

“No. I think about stuff like that all the time.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmm hmm…”

“Who you marrying?”

I immediately held his amused gaze. “What?” It was my turn to say.

“You heard me,” he replied, throwing my own words back at me. “Who you marrying?”

“Oh,” I breathed out. “I don’t know.”

He raised his eyebrow but didn’t call me out on my lie. “Don’t you think that maybe you should experience things first?”

“How do you know I haven’t?” I provoked, wanting to wipe the smug look off his face.

“Because I know.”

“Whatever.” I looked away.

“You want to know how I know?”

I kept my stare on the tray ceilings, swallowing the saliva that had pooled in my mouth, and hoping that it would calm the fluttering feeling I had suddenly formed in my belly. I shrugged because I couldn't speak. My voice would giveaway how I felt.

“I know because I would remember it, just like I remember our first experience. The same one that’s hanging around your neck.”

My heart pounded with each word that fell from his mouth.

“Do you want me to?”

“Do I want you to what?” I replied, already knowing what he meant but needing to hear him say it.

“Do you want me to kiss you?” He paused to let his words sink in. “Really kiss you?”

My mouth parted and my chest rose and descended with each breath I took. I found myself nodding before I gave it any more thought, ignoring the voice in the back of my mind that screamed at me that this was a bad idea. He bent forward and rested on his hands and knees, his face, his lips, coming toward me and making me tightly shut my eyes.

Waiting.

A million thoughts went through my head, but the second I felt his lips on mine they were all gone in an instant.

Nothing else mattered at that moment.

I had no idea what to do, and my heart drummed so fast that I swear he could hear it. I never thought I would be more grateful for the fact that I laid down. Knowing that if I were standing my knees would have given out from the pounding in my chest. It was the most overwhelming feeling I had ever felt. As if reading my mind, he slowly opened his lips, and I followed his lead, parting mine in the same rhythm he was. Our mouths moved in sync with each other, like we had been doing this all of our lives.

At least it felt that way for me.

His tongue touched my lips and it was the craziest sensation. I pulled back my tongue and he took it as an open invitation to gently push his into my mouth. He tasted of Cherry Coke and Fruit Stripe bubblegum, as he sought mine out with his, turning the kiss into something more. I’m not quite sure what that was, other than an explosive moment and memory in my life. It was wet and making sounds that were unfamiliar, but it felt amazing and stirred emotions that I didn’t think were possible. That I didn’t even think existed. If I thought I was confused before, well, then this, this added a whole new element and spin to it.

In those minutes, I didn’t care because…

It felt right.

We felt right.

I didn't know it then, but that's when I fell in love with him.

He pecked my lips one last time and gradually pulled away from me, leaving me breathless and winded, with incoherent thoughts running rapidly in my mind. When I opened my eyes he smiled, big and wide above me, and the intensity of his gaze was once again familiar. It was the same stare that was for me, and only me, the same one from the beach. His eyes never appeared that way with Stacey, and I knew because I’d watched. It was the only thing that comforted me when I wanted to fall apart.

“There,” he stated. “Now you can say you’ve experienced things.”

This wouldn’t be the first time he laid claim on me, and it was far from the last.

We graduated eighth grade. Only Austin was left to watch over Alex for one more year, and then she would be alone again. Two more years until we were all under the same roof and school. Our friendship stayed the same, but the feelings we had for each other grew in ways that were far more complex. After that kiss there was no going back, and that was probably why I did it in the first place. I claimed her.

Summer came and went and so did another school year, and then another summer. Before we knew it I was sixteen, and Alex was about to turn fourteen. It was her last year in middle school and we were in tenth grade, Austin in ninth. I went to get my driver’s license on my birthday with Alex impatiently waiting in the sitting room with my mom, and the boys waiting at the beach to celebrate. When I told them I passed my test she jumped in my arms, shrieking and acting like a girl. My mom smiled, and we all walked outside. Parked right out front was a silver Chevy Silverado with my dad in the drivers’ seat.

I instantly looked at Alex who smiled and enthusiastically nodded her head, turning to my mom who was holding up keys.

“No?” I softly asked.

“Happy birthday, baby,” Mom replied, placing the keys in my hand.

I was shocked as shit that they bought me a truck. It was very unexpected, even though I had been hinting that I wanted one. Our boards would fit perfectly on the bed and it had enough room to fit the boys and Alex. Now that I had a truck we could try different beaches to surf. Dylan got a black Jeep for his birthday, and Jacob got a classic black Ford Mustang that we spent hours fixing in his garage.

“I can’t believe you got this truck! This thing is a beast, Bo!” Alex excitedly shouted while I drove.

She looked so tiny sitting in the seat beside me. She wore a black dress that seemed more like a baggy shirt on her. She wore dresses all the time now, but they never clung to her body, still a tomboy at heart. I would say her style was sort of like a hippy, and the makeup on her face was always minimal. She didn’t need it. She was naturally beautiful with her dark brown, waist length, wavy hair. It was as soft as it appeared to be. We still spent every second we could alone in our abandoned house, but we hadn’t kissed again.

“Where are we going?”

“I’m kidnapping you for the day.”

She giggled. I loved hearing her laugh.

“It’s not kidnapping if you tell me first, besides it’s your birthday shouldn’t I be the one kidnapping you?”

“I want to spend my birthday with you, that’s what I want to do.”

She blushed, it was subtle but I saw it.

We pulled up to our abandoned house and I grabbed her hand before she went up the patio stairs.

“Stay here.” I went upstairs and grabbed the blanket and picnic basket that I stole from my mom earlier that day. I left it inside for us. “We’re always in there,” I stated, answering the question that appeared on her face as she followed me down to the beach.

The house came with a private beach and no one could see us without trespassing. I laid out the blanket on the sand and she sat down, helping me take out the sandwiches, chips, and waters from the basket.

“I can’t believe you did this.”

I shrugged. I didn’t want to make a big deal about it. I wanted to do something nice for her, so I did.

“You even used the crunchy peanut butter. Your mom doesn’t even buy this kind.”

I grinned.

We ate our food in silence but every so often I heard Alex take a deep breath. I knew she was content. In the grand scheme of things this was a very simple surprise but to her this was huge. This was worth everything and I wanted to make her happy, that was my present. We spent the entire day talking about meaningless things and when the sun began to set I laid down extending out my arm for her to lay on. She snuggled up beside me.

We watched the sunset in comfortable stillness with the waves of the ocean receding on the shoreline. I couldn’t help but think about the next time…

I would have her like this.

***

Dylan was exclusively dating this girl named Aubrey. She had blonde hair and bright green eyes, and her body was exactly like the ones he admired in those magazines all those years. Jacob dated Ava, who had red hair and blue eyes, and she was much more petite than Aubrey, who was Jacob’s style – she wasn’t as tiny as Alex though, she was still our Half-Pint. Austin was a player and that surprised all of us. He had a different girl around him every time I saw him. They flocked to him like bees to honey.

There was a birthday party waiting for me the next day at Alex’s parents’ restaurant. I hated being the center of attention, but I was a good ol’ boy and played my part. Stacey was there, and we were still playing the same old game, and just like before, it worked for me.

“Stacey’s eye fucking you from across the room,” Dylan chuckled, hitting the solid six ball in the corner pocket.

“No shit,” I replied, casually looking around for Alex.

“So what are you waitin’ for? She’s like a bitch in heat. I can smell her from here.”

I hit the stripped five ball in the side pocket.

“She’d let you hit it tonight. I’m predicting that she may already be waiting for you, too. You know, birthday present and all.”

Jacob raised a questioning eyebrow.

“God, Dylan, do you have to be so crass?” Ava asked, annoyed. “How does Aubrey put up with you?”

“I have a big dick,” he stated.

I shook my head, shutting my eyes. I swear he did it just to fuck with her.

Ava was very sensitive. I found Alex talking to Aubrey by the bar. She really liked her, more so than Ava. I think it was because Ava was really whiney, but Lily was by Alex’s side. My baby sister was ten and looked up to Alex for some reason, she followed her relentlessly, and I knew a part of Alex really loved that. I saw her trying to teach Alex how to play her guitar a few times, but Alex couldn’t carry a tune. Lily on the other hand, her voice was a gift and the talent she had with her guitar excelled everywhere she played.

“You wouldn’t be talkin’ that way if Half-Pint were here,” Ava declared.

“That’s because she’s a lady.”

“Cut the shit, man, you tryin’ to cock block me?” Jacob joked, making Ava slap him in the chest and left.

“Thanks, man.”

“Stop being such a pussy. Tell Lucas to grow a pair and get balls deep into Stacey already. Damn, man, you’re already doin’ everything else with her, what’s one more thing?” Dylan snidely alleged.

We had messed around a few times, she had blown me and I had fingered her, but I wouldn’t go down on her. It was too personal, even though she begged me for it. Alex didn’t know that, at least I didn’t think she did.

“Why don’t you worry about your own dick?” I eyed him.

“Because I love ya and I want you to get your dick wet.”

“Right…”

“I mean check out Austin,” Dylan nodded behind me.

I turned to find him making out with some chick. “I swear he better be using rubbers, he’s going to get an STD or shit get someone pregnant.”

“Legit,” Jacob stated.

“So how was it gettin’ your cock sucked?” Dylan blurted, making me look over at him.

“What?”

“Your cock, Lucas, you can’t tell me you didn’t love it. Now times that by ten and that’s what it feels like to sink into a warm pussy. Lose your goddamn virginity already, you’re making us look bad.”

“He kinda has a point, Lucas, what are you waitin’ for? You got a girl who doesn’t even care if you want to fuck her seven ways from Sunday with no commitment. Git ‘er done,” Jacob added.

I locked eyes with Stacey from across the room. She sat on a barstool sipping her water with hooded eyes.

I nodded to the boys. “Yeah,” was all I could say.

It wouldn’t be the last time I thought with my head and I’m not talking about the one on my neck.

“How’s school going, Alex?” Aubrey asked as we stood by the bar.

“Good. My classes are killer but so far, so good.”

I really liked Aubrey. She was sweet and down to earth. Dylan started seeing her exclusively a few months ago. She was fifteen and her body was ridiculous, I guess she resembled Stacey in that aspect. They both looked like they should be in nudie magazines. Although you would never be able to repeat that after talking to her, she didn’t act that way one bit.

Stacey, on the other hand, was a different story. She didn’t pretend to be anything she wasn’t already called to her face and behind her back. I never understood Lucas’s attraction to her, other than she gave it to him for free. Why buy the cow and all that. I hadn’t a clue how far they’d gone. I didn’t ask and he didn’t offer. It wasn’t discussed. The boys were good about keeping things behind closed doors, seeing as we didn’t go to the same school and all, but come next year that would change. It made me nervous just thinking about it. Stacey and I weren’t friends, we barely even spoke, but I knew her role in Lucas’s life and she knew mine.

End of story.

Ava was dumb as hell and I couldn’t see the appeal of her either, but Jacob didn’t seem smitten with her so I didn’t feel like I had to worry about her. It was more of a passing kinda thing. Jacob was hard to please, and every girl that came in his direction realized it and then moved on. It became difficult for him to hold down a steady girlfriend, although I knew in my heart that eventually he would meet the right girl. It would be about timing for him, and that proved to be true when we were all older.

I wanted Aubrey to stay around, though, but I knew how Dylan was. I mean not personally because he guarded his crass and vulgar side when I was around. I wasn’t ten anymore, but I had heard enough things to know that there were two sides to him: one when I was around and one when I wasn’t. Aubrey put up with him and God knows I commended her for it. It took a lot to settle the bull inside of him. She had subtle ways of calming him like rubbing the back of his head. She loved his long hair. However, I thought maybe there were two sides to him with her as well, one that we saw and then one when they were alone.

Now Austin, he was a hot mess. I think it caught us all by surprise. I didn’t know what was up with that boy, and a huge part of me knew he didn’t either. I had heard our mama’s yell at him one too many times to wrap it up and think with the head that was on the upper half of his body, not the lower. I laughed just thinking about it. Austin and I were closest in age and it wouldn’t be until the boys left for college for us to truly form a bond without them around. I understood Austin in ways that the boys didn’t, he was a lot like me in the sense that he wanted to be one of them, possibly losing himself in the process.

I would turn fourteen in a few weeks and I still didn’t have any life experiences outside of the boys. I hadn’t dated anyone, kissed anyone else, or even been on a date. All the boys on the island were too scared to come near me because they knew I came with baggage.

Four of them.

My boys grew up. And by that, I mean they looked like men, tall, muscular and broad. They had the whole bad boy, intimidating thing down. One would think they had rehearsed the part their entire lives, or something. They protected me even more than they had when we were growing up, and it got to the point where I just gave up. It wasn’t worth it to me, having them all in my life was enough.

Especially Lucas.

The mere thought of them leaving in two years, and just having Austin for one more after that, it killed me every time it crossed my mind. I hated knowing that things would once again change.

Lucas and I were the same as we’d always been. We spent every chance we could alone in our abandoned house. It was our special place and no one could take that away from me.

From us.

I had a torn emotion in my heart. It was the same one that’s been there for so many damn years. A piece of me sustained the hope that maybe one day, there might be a chance for us. Exactly how our mama’s had told me a few years back.

I waited. Maybe someday there would be a place for us outside of our abandoned house.

Where he could hold my hand.

Where he could kiss me whenever he wanted.

Where he could be mine and I could be his.

Where he could tell me he loved me the same way that I loved him.

Waiting. That’s all I ever did.

Little did I know that life had a funny way of keeping you on your toes and making you see the reality of the world. I desperately and urgently tried to ignore what had been staring me in the face all along.

As I was about to walk out of the bathroom stall, the restroom door opened.

“I think tonight’s the night.”

I recognized her voice immediately, stopping me dead in my tracks.

Stacey.

“Oh yeah? What makes you think that?” another girl replied.

“Because we’ve done everything else. I know he wants to fuck me. He’s hard every time I’m around,”

I had to sit down on the toilet, my legs unable to hold my shuddering body.

“How is he?”

“Amazing! Of course, I taught him everything he knows. His cock is fucking huge, Mallory! It would definitely hit all the right spots, I can barely take half of it in my mouth.”

My hand rose to my lips, swallowing down the bile that threatened to escape.

“He’s a dirty boy, too, the shit that comes out of his mouth when he’s fingering me and I’m sucking his dick, Jesus! He’s ruined me for other guys.” They laughed, loud and throaty.

“Tonight’s the night. I know it. I’ll call you tomorrow and tell you all about it.”

I heard them walk out the door and it rattled when it closed. My body instinctively spun and heaved up everything I had eaten and drank. It came out in one swift motion of opening my mouth, disposing of the toxic words that I overheard.

Over and over again until there was nothing left inside of me, including my heart. I spit into the toilet and wiped my lips with the back of my hand. Opening the door, I went right for the sink to splash cold water all over my face, hoping that it would hide the truth that I had been denying for the last several years.

I’d been lying to myself and to everyone around me. It was all a dream, a hope. It was a young girl's fantasy.

Lucas wasn’t mine.

And he had never been. I stood there for a long time, dreading the reflection that would be staring back at me. I avoided the mirror and walked out of the bathroom instead, finding them immediately. I watched Stacey lead Lucas out of the restaurant and onto the beach.

I was no longer the girl waiting.

I was now...

Broken