Текст книги "Loving the White Liar"

Автор книги: Kate Stewart

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Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

 

 

I opened Jayden’s front door, absently pushing an anxious Trip out of the way before giving pause to take in the person standing in front of me. She was a tall, gorgeous blonde with perfect legs, accentuated by the tight, short skirt she sported. Her beautiful, brown eyes met mine and I felt her measuring me up as well. I was instantly nauseated.

“Hello,” I said as she stood silent.

“Umm, is Jay here?”

“He’s in the shower. Can I help you?”

“No, I...um. Hi, Trip,” she addressed the dog, who was bursting at the seams to greet her. I let him through as she kneeled down as gracefully as possible in her skirt so she could pet him. Jay came up behind me wrapped in a towel, and I turned to him as the girl’s eyes shot up to Jay.

“Amber? What are you doing here?”

I looked from Jay back to the girl as a jealous pang shot through me after deducing it was his ex. Most definitely.

Of course she was a super model with the same size boobs. Bitch.

“Excuse me,” I said, doing the adult thing and giving them their privacy while my insides twisted into knots.

“What are you doing here?” Jay repeated harshly.

“I came to see you, to talk. Is she your girlfriend?”

I walked slower, at a snail’s pace. Well, actually a little slower than that. More like if a snail were to have a heart attack and die. Okay, I stopped altogether.

“Yes,” he answered without hesitation.

“Can, I just talk to you for a minute?”

She was still going to make a play. Jayden had told me it had been three years since they broke up. Surely she wasn’t trying to get him back after that length of time?

“Wait out here,” he said impatiently. I hauled ass into his room, pretending to sort through my clothes.

“I saw you creeping,” he said, pulling me from the floor into his arms. “I have no idea what’s she’s doing here, but I’ll get rid of her.”

“She’s your ex? From three years ago?” I questioned as he dropped his towel.

“We tried again right after New Year’s, but she had to take off for a new job out of state. We haven’t seen each other or talked since.” He pulled on a tight fitting t-shirt and athletic shorts then walked over to me.

“You left that part out,” I said as the stabbing in my chest continued.

“It lasted less than a month. I didn’t think it was worth sharing.” He looked at me and then grabbed my hand, pulling me from the room, kissing me in plain sight before grabbing Trip and his leash and walking out the door. I saw her look back at me briefly before Jayden shut the door with an ‘I love you’ she could clearly hear.

I should have been comforted with that. I should have been okay with the fact that our relationship was amazing and I had no reason to worry. And you would assume that all childish notions of spying on them after that would go right out of my head and out the window.

Yeah fucking right.

I hauled ass to the window as I spied them walking with Trip. She seemed to be pleading her case as Jayden stood there listening. He raised his hand in a cutting motion as he spoke. He didn’t seem angry, just irritated. When he glanced up at the window, I turned and quickly flattened my back against the wall to avoid being seen. I peeked out again, and when I could no longer see them, I panicked. I quickly made a reasonable plan and raced through his apartment to get to my swimsuit. All I could think about was her long legs and perfect hair.

Minutes later, I was cowering in the bushes spying on my boyfriend and his hot ex-girlfriend in my swimsuit, nowhere near the pool. Our complex was huge. If I got busted now it would be humiliating. To make matters worse, the bushes I was buried in were made up of those sharp, prickly leaves that looked like holly. I was a scratched up mess, my forearms bleeding as I crouched down. I could barely see them and couldn’t hear anything but Trip barking his head off. Giving up minutes later, I stood up, only to come face to face with my smiling boyfriend.

“Busted,” he said, chuckling as he took in my swimsuit and pausing at my mangled arms. “Lucy, what haf you ju gotun jorself into?” he said, doing his best Ricky impression.

Too embarrassed to speak, and in pain from the leaf prick scratches still stinging my arms, I started walking toward his apartment. He was fast on my heels with Trip still barking his head off for no apparent reason.

“Do you even realize that your covert operations where I am concerned always go wrong and you end up hurt or bleeding somehow? Case and point, you stealing my dog...Baby, wait up.”

I changed directions quickly, deciding a good long swim was just what I needed, though I was dying for answers.

“Okay, baby, have a good swim.” he sighed, sounding amused as he followed me to the gate. I slammed it closed before he could get in. He called out to Trip and they headed back in the direction of the apartment. I spent the next hour burning through my jealous frustration as my scratched arms screamed from the chlorine contact.

I should have just handled it like an adult. Then I wouldn’t feel the need to hide from Jayden and the humiliation still burning through my veins. Still, it took the better part of exhausting myself to the point of needing a nap to stick my tail between my legs and head back. I walked in as Jayden started lighting candles in the living room. He often burned several at a time and we always seemed to be surrounded by soft light and music no matter what we did. I wanted to go to him, but instead bypassed him as he smiled at me.

“Don’t be so damn smug. At least I didn’t Hulk out like you did.” It was a mean jab, but I couldn’t help my bitterness as I went in to shower. Knowing I was being an asshole, after my hot shower, I searched through the medicine cabinets for the peroxide but couldn’t find it. I sat on his bed, thoroughly disappointed. Willing to swallow my medicine, I walked out to find Jayden sitting on the couch in a room full of clean smelling candles. There was a freshly poured glass of wine on the table sitting next to his coffee, the missing peroxide and cotton balls next to it. The lump in my throat brought me close to teary eyed as Jayden held out his hand to me. I took it and settled in next to him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that about the Hulk.” He quickly started rolling up my t-shirt sleeves then opened the bottle of peroxide.

“I thought it was funny. You are so fucking cute when you’re jealous.”

I glared at him and he went silent as he wet a ball with the liquid. I noted how dark his lashes were as he looked down, doctoring my skin. Of course she wanted him back. What woman in their right mind wouldn’t? He was amazing and beautiful and...everything. I watched him as he gently dabbed my scratched skin. “How long are you going to make me wait?” I asked, my voice filled with impatience.

“Take a sip of this,” he said, handing me the wine.

“I don’t need it,” I snapped, still trying to handle the panic I felt at the thought of him with someone else.

“Come on, baby. Don’t let it ruin our day.”

I nodded then took a long sip. He had introduced me to this particular red and although I wasn’t normally a fan, I loved his taste in wine.

“She wanted you back?” He nodded and my blood boiled. I downed more wine. “What did you say?”

He rolled down my t-shirt sleeve and looked right at me. “I told her it was too late.”

“You think she got the message?” I asked, my voice shaking with emotion.

“She won’t be back,” he said, leaning in to place a kiss on my cheek. “Does it hurt?”

“Yes,” I said, not in any way referring to my arms he was studying.

He caught my meaning and looked up at me. “I love you, and you know that.”

“She’s so beautiful,” I said, voicing my fear.

“You are far more beautiful to me.”

“You are so full of shit,” I said, slumping in my seat. “She doesn’t have lopsided boobs and a pudgy gut.”

“I’ll entertain jealousy, but I can’t stand insecurity. You know how much I love your body. And if that pudge were to disappear, I would hate it.”

“Did you love her?” He sat back in his seat, sipping his coffee. I rolled my eyes. “Fine, we won’t get into it. I hate feeling this way. I hate knowing you loved someone else, slept with someone else. I guess I’m not as much as a grown up as I’d like to believe. I felt sick knowing I could lose you.”

He set his coffee down and pulled me to his chest, tilting my head so I was looking at him. “I told her I had met the woman I was going to marry.”

“Jayden—”

“I love you like that. Not her or any other woman. That’s yours.”

I nodded as my eyes filled with tears. He kissed me deeply, and after a few minutes I pulled back, ready to strip him bare.

“I’d love to accept the invitation in your eyes right now, but experience tells me that fucking you as hard as I want to right now right after my ex showed up might lead to more questions later, so we are going to watch Lost. Because, let’s face it, baby, you bitches be crazy.”

I laughed loudly as he cut me off, kissing me even deeper before I settled into his chest. A few hours later, I awoke to Jayden carrying me to bed. Once there, he took off my clothes and pulled me to him, whispering that he loved me before I drifted back to sleep.

 

 

After brunch that Sunday, Jayden and Bradley talked sports at the now empty kitchen table. Sabrina and Molly couldn’t make it this morning, much to my relief of easing Jayden into our crazy tribe. Alexis had left shortly after we ate, claiming she had to prep for a case, leaving Bradley, Mom, and I on our own. Alexis had mentioned that she and Owen had a date later that week and thanked Jayden in a not so subtle way for his ‘plotting and scheming.’

“He’s really something,” my mother remarked of Jayden, who looked up at me just then from the table and gave me a small smile before turning back to Brad. “So he owns his own company, huh? A good looking, homemaking, big shot.”

“No, who told you that?” I asked, thinking she had mistaken Alexis.

“He did, at the table. He said he co-owned it with his uncle.”

“Oh, yeah, he’s working on that.” A sick feeling came over me as I paused to study Jayden. “He said he owned it?”

“Yes,” she said, looking at me with concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I said quickly. “He is amazing.”

“Are you excited about your trip?”

“Trip?”

“He said the two of you were planning a trip to the coast?” She looked at me with puzzlement as I took the dish out of her hand to dry it.

“Yeah, we could use a break.” Completely confused now as I stacked the plates, I shot another look at Jayden, who saw I was not pleased. He paused mid-sentence, carefully watching me and then turned to Brad.

“We have to go soon, Mom. Forgive me if I come earlier next weekend?”

“Of course, you kids have lives to live,” she said absently. “I need to start getting out more myself.” I looked at my mother, who even in her early fifties looked youthful and was still beautiful.

“Dating again?”

Her eyes widened as she corrected me. “No, not yet. No.”

“Well, when you are ready we are all behind you,” I said, even I didn’t believe my pep talk. I was too preoccupied with the lies Jayden had told my mother.

After another hour or so of casual conversation, we said our goodbyes. As Brad leaned in to hug me, he whispered, “You can keep this one.”

“Thanks.” I smiled back halfheartedly as Jayden and I made our way to the car. I grabbed the keys from him, proclaiming I was driving, and he looked at me oddly. A few minutes into our drive, he was still talking about how much he liked Brad when I cut him off.

“What’s with telling my mother you owned the wood shop?” I looked over at him, catching him by surprise.

He stared at me for a short while before he spoke. “I mean, as soon as I talk to Stephen about it, it’s a done deal.”

“So you lied,” I said, looking over at him.

“It’s going to be the truth, anyway. I wanted to make a good impression.”

I sped up as I merged onto the highway. “And our trip?”

“What?” He seemed genuinely confused.

“You told her we were planning a trip.”

“Yeah, so,” he said, gazing out the window, indignant.

“Why would you lie, Jayden? She doesn’t give a damn what you do as long as you keep her daughter happy. And lying about trips you are planning to take me on is just poor form. I wanted her to get to know you. You don’t have to use lines on my mother.”

He continued to stare out the window, remaining silent the rest of the way home. I didn’t understand his motives at all, and even if he was trying to impress her, he was going about it all wrong. The sinking feeling didn’t leave me as he exited my car without a word and headed toward his apartment. I gawked after him and decided to let him have some space as I headed home. We both needed to cool off, and I needed some time with Gerri, whose car I spotted before I pulled in.

“Sup, woman!” I said, making my way to her in the kitchen. She was swaying her hips back and forth to Amy Winehouse while cutting up tomatoes.

“Hey, lady!” she said, dropping her knife to give me a hug. “God, you look good. Constant sex agrees with you.”

“Thanks. You do, too.” I tugged at her hair. “Growing it out?”

“Yeah, I can’t wait to get past that awkwardly, ugly stage,” she said, sliding her hands through it. “Thought you were with Jay today?”

“We had a disagreement,” I said, popping a piece of tomato in my mouth. “It’s no big deal. I just caught him in a white lie and called him on it. I think it pissed him off.”

“Oh, well, he’ll get over it.” She gave me a broad smile. “I’m making this kick ass taco salad Joe taught me how to make. Want some?”

“Sure,” I said, still feeling ill at ease. Jay and I never really fought and I wasn’t sure that’s what we were doing now. I didn’t like not knowing, so I quickly texted him.

Me: I love you.

Maybe I’d been too hard on him. Maybe he had nervously lied to impress her. Even so, I didn’t like having to cover for him. After a long dinner with Gerri, who had nothing special to report, I lay in my own bed, watching My Three Sons and Mel’s Diner. I looked down at my phone every few minutes, disappointed I still had no reply. The next morning I went for my swim then stopped by Jayden’s before work. He opened the door for me then walked away, leaving it open.

“Hey,” I said, closing the door. He had his comforter wrapped around him and walked back into the bedroom, lying down on his stomach.

“I’m sorry I was such a bitch last night,” I said, taking a seat next to him. “I know you were trying to put your best foot forward, but Jay, they’ll love you the way you are.”

“I get it, and I heard you the first time,” he said, his voice monotone.

Glancing at the clock on his nightstand, I asked, “You aren’t working today?”

“I’m sick,” he said in the same tone. Reaching over, I placed my palm to his forehead and he jerked away from my touch. The pain of his rejection shot through my chest, but I pressed on.

“You don’t feel warm. I’ll get you some Tylenol.” I got up from his bedside and got some capsules out of his cabinet and then grabbed his favorite coffee mug from the sink. I looked in out of habit and smelled the vodka right away. I looked over my shoulder to see Jay press his hand to his head. He wasn’t sick, he was hungover and it occurred to me in our time together that I had never seen him drunk. I rinsed out his cup and filled it with water, noticing his boxers were soaked and on the floor. What in the hell had happened last night?

I brought him the Tylenol and he lifted up just enough to take them before lying back down. “Did you call in?”

“What are you, my mother?”

Clearly this wasn’t going to go well. I shrugged off that sting then stood up to leave. “I’m going to get ready for work. I’ll see you later?”

He didn’t say a word as I stood there, dying for any sign of my man. “I love you.”

Silence. I felt the burn in my throat and started to walk out of his apartment when I noticed Trip pacing impatiently. I grabbed his leash and took him for a quick walk, in which he quickly relieved himself. It was completely unlike Jayden to neglect Trip. I let Trip back inside the apartment then made my way home.

I made it through half a day before breaking down and calling him. “Hey,” he greeted in that same, lifeless tone.

“Are you feeling better?”

“No, I’m under the blanket. I’ll call you in a few days when I’m feeling better. It’s probably a bug.”

“You’re hungover, Jayden. I’m not stupid,” I barked.

“So I’ll be hungover for a few days. I’ll call you then,” he shouted back.

“Really, Jayden, this is how you want to play it?” My voice shook with emotion as it always did when it came to him.

“I’ll call you.” He hung up as I snapped back in my chair in surprise.

Pain seared through my chest as I looked around me, wondering if anyone else felt what I was feeling. Marcy, being the angel she was, could sense something wrong and kept me busy the rest of the day, giving me mindless chores and keeping the small talk to a minimum. I crawled into bed that night after doing more pool laps than I had ever done. Okay, so the asshole he’d warned me about had arrived. And I had to say I wasn’t happy to meet him, but I loved him and so I refused to let the asshole win. He didn’t have split personality disorder; he was ADHD. So, I texted the asshole who was still Jayden.

Me: I love you.

I thought of the last three months of my life and how it had changed because of him. I thought of his friendship and how I now depended on it. I thought of the way he looked at me, the way he touched me. I let one pitiful tear fall and quickly wiped it away. Though the evidence of the last day told me otherwise, I knew that man loved me. He’d made it his mission to prove it to me, and though we seemed fragile now, I knew we were as close as two people could be.

It didn’t excuse his behavior, but I’d made him a promise and I intended to keep it. When he came back to me, I’d welcome him with open arms.

Opening my laptop, I typed in ADHD. My screen filled with information as my phone rang. I tossed my laptop aside, hunting my phone out of my purse.

“Hello?”

“Hilary?”

“Yes, this is she.”

“Hello, sweetheart. This is Mallory, Jayden’s mother.”

“Oh, hello! Wow, I’ve been wondering when I would get the chance to talk to you.”

“I had to strong arm my son for your phone number, but I managed,” she said, then laughed softly. “I spoke to him last week and told him I would be inviting you over for a barbeque this Saturday.” Uncertain of where we stood, I agreed to the invitation, not wanting to tell her I wasn’t sure if her son would be talking to me then.

“I’d love to come. What can I bring? And I have to mention one of the reasons I love Jayden is your chicken casserole.”

There was a small amount of silence on the line before she responded. “You love him?”

Embarrassed by my statement, but standing behind it, I answered, “Very much so. He’s a wonderful man.”

“That’s so great to hear, Hilary. He is so fond of you, as well. After I forced him into telling me about you, he wouldn’t shut up. Honestly, I’ve never heard him so smitten. I’m excited to meet you.”

“We’ll be there,” I said nervously.

“You can bring a dessert if you’d like, but we really don’t need anything. His Uncle Stephen will be there as well. He’s looking forward to meeting you, too. If Jayden is with you, can I speak with him briefly?”

FUCK. SHIT. PISS. HELL. DAMN.

“Actually, I’m at home. He isn’t feeling well. Under the blanket, he said.”

“He said under the blanket?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Her voice was alarmed when she said, “Have you seen him today?”

“This morning. He was sleeping.” Now who’s lying to the parents?

“Okay, thanks for letting me know,” she said, her voice now uneven.

“Is something wrong?” I asked, becoming more nervous.

“No, sweetheart, it’s fine. I’m...just...He’s my only brat.”

I laughed at that. “Honestly, I think he’s hungover, but please don’t tell him I told you if you get in touch with him.”

“Of course I won’t. I’m going to run, but I look forward to meeting you Saturday.”

“Me, too. Goodbye.”

Great, within a two minute phone call I had confessed my love regarding her son, lied to her, and then ratted him out.

Way to go, Hil!

Something in the way she hesitated didn’t sit well with me. I wanted to go to him, but decided to text instead.

Me: Let me know you’re alive or I’m coming over to have a long and torturous conversation about our relationship. You’ve got two minutes to answer me.

A minute later, I got a reply.

Jayden: I love you too.

Tears burst from my eyes as I sighed in relief.

Me: I miss you.

Jayden: I’ll call you.

Me: Let me be there for you. I can handle it.

He didn’t reply. I resigned myself to give him the space he asked for. I knew it was so he could avoid showing me the ugly side of him.

In bed, I wrapped myself in my blanket, dipping pretzels in peanut butter and watching The Brady Bunch until sleep claimed me.