Текст книги "Loving the White Liar"

Автор книги: Kate Stewart

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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

“With ADHD, it’s hard to maintain a normal relationship. There are things that he does that make it hard.”

“Yes, I know what it is. He has a hard time keeping focus.”

“It’s much more than that,” I said, afraid my own words may be the reason I scared my mother.

“Like what?”

“Temper, sudden uncontrollable outbursts, anxiety...There is a lot he has to deal with going on inside him.”

She gave me a wary eye. “Abuse?”

“Never,” I said quickly. “His comments can be hurtful, but it’s not abuse. But bringing a child into the mix will have to wait until we are really solid.”

“Baby, are you sure about this? I mean, I love Jayden. He seems like a great guy, but is it worth the rest of your life?”

“Absolutely. He’s it, Mom. Just don’t harp on us for grandkids. We need time to adjust.”

“Okay, baby, if you’re sure. But if I hear any different, I’ll be sticking my nose in.”

“His outbursts are few and far between. As for the rest, I’m so used to it, it doesn’t bother me. I love being with him. He’s so damn smart, Mom. And, God, the way he treats me. I can’t get enough. I won’t ever get enough.” She beamed at me and I hugged her tight. “I see everything when I look at him. He’s definitely my planet.”

“That look on your face is the same one your father had the day you were born,” she said tearfully. “I knew he was taken with Alexis. She was the first. But one look at you and he just seemed to sink.” I looked up at my mother, who had tears in her eyes. “I think you were his favorite from the minute you came into this world. That man loved you something fierce. As a parent, you aren’t supposed to be partial, but he always seemed to smile a little bit bigger with you around.” Tears came heavy as I embraced my mother who hugged me back. “So if that man treats you well enough and you love him that much, you have our blessing.”

I nodded as my mother cried in my arms. “I miss him so much.” I held her tightly as I whispered, “I’m so proud of you, Mom.”

That was the first time she had spoken to me about my father since he died and it was only for her to tell me how much he loved me. And that was the way of my parents. They were all about those they loved. And that’s who I was raised to be for Jayden. And I would love him as I was taught.

Opening my eyes from a much-needed sleep, I looked into those of my love. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” I croaked as Jayden brought his hand up to move my hair out of my face. “What time is it?”

“It’s time for us to get married,” he said quickly, leaning in for a kiss.

“Can I brush my teeth first?”

His caressing hand trailed down my negligee to my side to pull me closer to him. “I guess so. It kind of cuts the spontaneity out of the whole deal, but dragon breath may ruin the nuptials.”

“Wouldn’t want that,” I said, kissing his temple.

“I want so much to bury myself inside you right now,” he rasped, pulling my camisole up to stroke my stomach. “God, I’m so hard just thinking about you having my last name.” He moved down my body, soaking it up with his lips before pulling away and clapping his hands together, breaking me out of my stupor.

“Away, wench. Dress in thy wedding robes and meet me at the altar.”

I clamored to sit up on the bed as he pulled his bag over his shoulder and walked toward the bedroom door. “Two hours,” he said wistfully as I sat at the edge of the bed, the rest of the sleepiness draining away from me.

“I love you.” I smiled as he walked over to me.

“I left you something on the table. You kind of have to bring it with you.” One more kiss from him and he disappeared out the door.

I sat at the edge of the bed as realization hit me. I was about to become a wife—Jayden’s wife. I clapped excitedly as I made my way to my closet. Jayden and I had an appointment with the justice of the peace, and though our marriage was anything but traditional, I did get a dress fit for a bride. It wasn’t full on bride gear, but it was a beautiful, white silk gown with beaded trimming on the bodice that flowed to just below my knees. I wore the silver pumps my sister bought me months ago, knowing then those were the shoes I would be wearing on my wedding day.

An hour later, Gerri greeted me at my door, bursting with excitement. She and Drew would be the only witnesses to our small ceremony. My sisters still weren’t speaking to me because of it.

“Oh shit, you look so beautiful,” Gerri said, taking in my dress and pinned hair.

I gave her a quick spin. “A fast food bride, but a bride nonetheless.”

Gerri’s face fell. “You want this, right, Hilary? A small wedding?”

“I want to be Jayden’s wife. I couldn’t care less how it happens. We could have done it at a heavy metal concert while they sacrificed virgin chickens. I want the marriage, not the wedding.”

Gerri perked up. “As long as you are happy with it.” She eyed me over her shoulder. I looked over to see a small bouquet of white roses and lavender and envelope that said Bride. I looked up to Gerri with a smile.

Walking over, I picked up the bouquet and inhaled deeply. Opening the letter, I cursed my stupidity for not grabbing it sooner as my eyes watered, threatening to ruin my makeup.

I looked at Gerri who had started crying as she watched me cry then pulled his wedding band out of the envelope.

“Oh, God, please get me to him.” I headed toward the door as Gerri took out her compact, bringing it up to my face.

“Oh, shit.” I shrieked and ran to the bathroom as Gerri raced behind me.

After a whirlwind wedding that literally lasted three minutes, we made our way to Hilton Head island off the coast of South Carolina. It was a quieter setting for a honeymoon than the party filled Myrtle Beach, or the tourist filled Charleston. Jayden and I went for laid back. Upon our arrival, Jayden insisted we hit a tattoo parlor. So hours after our wedding, I sat watching an artist trace ink on my new husband’s arm.

“Why your last name?”

He gave me a long look and then looked at the inked letters on his forearm as he traced it with his finger and smiled.

“This name meant nothing to me until this morning. It belonged to the bastard who left my mother without a dime and completely on her own to raise me. Now because it’s yours too, it means everything. It’s changed everything.”

His words hit me like a sledgehammer to the chest. I looked up to see his breathtaking smile. “Oh, God, that’s the best line yet. Promise you’ll always give them to me. Promise me just because you bought the cow you will still work for the milk.”

He chuckled and so did the tattoo artist. “Always, baby.”

“And that you won’t stop lighting candles.”

“That’s more for me than for you, but I promise.”

“And that you won’t stop doing that thing with your tongue.” The artist, who had introduced himself as Phil, stopped and eyed us both with a shit-eating grin. Jayden raised his eyebrow and then chuckled again. “Your verbal vomit is cute, baby, but let’s keep our bedroom tricks to ourselves.”

“Sorry,” I mumbled, embarrassed as I grabbed a magazine. I felt the blush creep up my cheeks and sank into the leather couch. I don’t know what came over me. Certainly Phil had his own tongue trick. But if my mother knew I was speaking freely about fellatio at a tattoo parlor, she would have a stroke.

“Hey,” Jayden said just as I began to relax and read. I looked up and saw his eyes heated as they roamed over my chest to my face. “I’ll do that thing with my tongue the minute I get you back to our room.” The artist grinned as he kept his eyes on Jayden’s arm, but mumbled, “Right on.”

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Jayden asked Phil, his eyes telling me he was thinking of the way he tortures me with his tongue. Phil paused and looked up. “Sure is.”

“She’s all mine,” Jayden said as my heart pounded in my chest. “My wife.”

Okay, now I was thinking of giving fellatio in a tattoo parlor with an audience. My sex became instantly wet as I watched Jayden’s eyes hood. “Phil, can you give us a second?” Jayden requested, keeping his hot gaze on me.

Phil’s smile returned as he pushed his stool away and stood. “I’ll go have a smoke.” Jayden looked up at him and whispered something I couldn’t quite hear. Phil nodded and took off.

Jayden stayed where he was. “Come here, baby.”

“I am not having sex with you in a tattoo parlor.” Though as I said it, the idea appealed to me greatly.

“Come here, Mrs. Monroe.”

Oh, well, when he put it that way.

I walked over to where he sat, his arm still in place as if Phil were working on him. Still embarrassed from my sexual outburst, I found it hard to meet his eyes.

“Look at me.” His voice was hoarse with need and I let my eyes drift from his toned calves up to his t-shirt covered chest and then lingered on his pronounced Adam’s apple. I was insatiable for him. Even after all our time together, I couldn’t help the deep seeded need to have him again and again. As my eyes drifted to his, I realized I wasn’t alone.

“What are you thinking about, Mrs. Monroe?” His voice had only a hint of humor as he questioned me. His jaw was firm as his licked his lips.

“Nothing, I...nothing.”

“Why so shy now? It’s clear to me what you are thinking, so say it.” His husky voice whispered over me as I shifted on my legs. “Say it.”

“I want you,” I said softly.

“How?” he asked, keeping my eyes locked onto his when I’d started to let them wander. “How do you want me?”

My panties soaked, I rubbed my thighs together, staring into his dark blue eyes.

“All over me, inside me, I need it.”

I moved closer to him so his eyes were level with my chest and he was forced to look up at me.

“You are going to have to be more specific, Mrs. Monroe.” He lifted his hand as if he was going to touch me then put it back down. I frowned at the loss.

“Tell me exactly what you want.” He waited patiently as I stood there, completely aroused and unable to express myself. This was so unlike me.

“Are you wet?”

I nodded.

“Are you aching?”

I nodded again.

“Tell me right now what you are thinking.”

“You, behind me, hard,” I breathed out.

“Can you feel me, inside you, filling you?”

My breath was coming fast now, and my nipples could cut glass. I just kept staring at my beautiful husband, aroused beyond all control. I waited in vain for him to touch me.

“Jayden—”

“Lean over,” he instructed, licking his lips. “Give me your ear.” I did what I was told, my body at his command. When I felt his breath on my ear, I shivered. “I’m going to nail you so hard and so thoroughly when we get back, you won’t ever hesitate to tell me what you want again. Now go sit down and I want your eyes on me, picturing me fucking you until we leave.”

Phil made his entrance again and I felt the air around us disperse slightly as if we were in a cloud. I kept my eyes on him as he looked at me intently. He only wavered his attention a few times as Phil spoke to him. We eye fucked each other for a solid hour until Phil pushed his stool away from the table. I jumped off the couch as Phil gave Jayden after care instructions. Jayden held the door for me as we left, and I brushed his crotch purposefully with a small smile.

In the car we didn’t say a word, the tension between us became unbearable. I saw him shift in his seat, adjusting himself as I crossed and uncrossed my legs. We raced to the elevator as if our life depended on it. At the hotel door, I fought with the keycard as Jayden circled an arm around my waist and ground his hardness into me. When the door unlocked, we both let out audible breaths, and as soon as it closed my skirt was lifted. I braced myself on the wall as Jayden held me there, his hand planted in the middle of my back. I reached down to touch the throbbing between my legs and then paused. Jayden, seeing my progress, encouraged me. “Touch it, baby.” My hand drifted down, moving underneath my panties as Jayden pulled my underwear down just under my thighs before spreading me.

I got no warning as he slammed into me, my head pressing against the wall and a scream coming from my lips. Rearing back, he sank in again completely as my fingers finally found purchase on my bundled nerves.

“Fuck, so good. God, I love you,” Jayden bit out, thrusting again so hard that my head thumped against the wall.

Seconds later, I shattered, unable to hold myself up as Jayden led me to the bed, bending me over so I was forced to grip the sheets. I held on as he did exactly what he promised, giving me everything I asked for and so much more. Right before he came, he leaned down and snaked his arms around my chest, holding me tight to him as he spilled himself inside me.

Our honeymoon was everything it should be. We spent half our time naked and in the hotel room and the other half feasting on ocean delights, playing at the beach, and walking around as tourists.

Jayden was more attentive than he ever had been without his typical routine and distractions of home to keep him busy. I was his primary focus and it couldn’t have been more perfect.

Our last night, we ordered room service, eating crab legs while tangled up in the sheets we’d ruined. He cracked a claw with his hands and I marveled at his strength and the skill of his fingers. He dipped the sweet meat in butter and brought it to my mouth before taking a mouth full of my nipple.

“This is heaven,” I remarked as he got carried away, pushing our feast to the side to attend to his growing erection and my needy nipple.

“I agree.” He stopped his assault long enough to look down at me, entwining our fingers and hovering above me.

“What?” I grinned up at him.

“I’m just thinking of what a fuck up I would’ve been if I would’ve let you get away. And now you are my wife. How amazing is that?”

“Another line to add to my long list,” I cooed up at him as he turned my hand over to study my ring. Looking down at our hands, he pulled himself to the side of me, being careful of his bandaged arm. He kissed my ring reverently as I stroked his toned chest with my fingertips. “Won’t be getting away now.”

 

 

“Leisure Travel, this is Hilary Monroe,” I answered, now using my new last name every chance I got.

“Well, if it isn’t my daughter-in-law. I don’t know whether to threaten you or offer you a kidney if you need one.” I chuckled into the phone as Jayden’s mother, still sore from not seeing her only son get married, scolded me.

“I’ll take the kidney if needed. Lord knows with having your son for a husband when I might need it.”

Her answering laugh warmed me. “Good thinking. Listen, honey, I can’t talk long, but Stephen asked me to call Jayden to let him know he couldn’t be at his session this weekend.”

“Session?” I moved my ring around with my thumb, a new habit I’d formed when I’d gotten it.

“Yes, this weekend. Stephen usually goes to the family sessions in my place when I have to work, but I thought you might want to step in seeing as how you are his new life partner.”

I sat up in my chair, immediately on edge. “Family sessions? I thought they were going fishing.”

“Oh...oh shit. I didn’t mean to...I was wondering why Stephen was still front and center. Honey, it’s really not my place to tell you this.”

Heat ran throughout my body as I thought of all the ‘sessions’ they had attended in the year Jayden and I had been together. Instead of reacting badly, I countered with a question.

“Jayden has a shrink?”

“He likes to be called a therapist. Jayden’s opted to use his childhood doctor in lieu of someone more suitable for his age group. He was comfortable with him. Dr. Sawyer agreed, but agreed only to weekend sessions once a month, and family sessions every other month.”

“I’ll make sure he knows,” I said in the most even voice I could muster.

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I could have just called Jayden, but I wanted to say hi. Hell, I’ve screwed up.”

“I see,” I said, completely blown away. Jayden had been so forthcoming these days about everything. I couldn’t imagine why he would keep it from me.

“Mallory, I’m not going to be able to hide that I know. Please allow me this.” Her hesitation put me on high alert. “It’s just...he can’t keep this stuff from me. It’s a different dynamic now that we’re married.”

“I’ll take the fire if it comes my way. Just know that he loves you. He’s been more faithful to these sessions than ever since he met you. Please try not to be too hard on him.”

“I’m hurt, and a little angry,” I admitted freely. “I just don’t understand why he wouldn’t tell me.” I was asking her for answers only my husband could give me and decided to leave it alone. “Don’t worry, Mallory, really. I’ll get over it.”

As soon as he told me the truth, I’d get over it.

I left work that day with a hefty commission check and what was supposed to be good news of a raise. My heart sank as I thought of how elaborate he’d gone to back up his lie. He’d come home more than once with fresh fish in a cooler.

“Mr. Monroe,” I called when I walked through the front door. I could always tell when he was home. Candles were lit sporadically and music was playing. I listened for the song to read his mood and heard Imagine Dragons’ It’s Time.

I wasn’t sure what category to put that one in. “In here, Mrs. Monroe.”

Following his voice to the bathroom, I was determined to get the truth out of him. If he told me freely, I wouldn’t have to throw his mother under the bus.

I took in my husband soaking in a steaming tub and kept my eyes on his face to avoid any weakness. Jayden had been doing more physically all around and was peaking everywhere, and completely covered in muscle. From top to bottom, the man was irresistible.

“Hi,” I said, taking a seat on the toilet cover, peeking around and seeing Jayden’s face only partially showing behind the curtain.

“What, no kiss? Bah, and only after a few months of marriage. What a pity. I had high hopes for you.”

“So, your Mom called,” I started in, completely ignoring his banter. “Said Stephen won’t be able to make the trip.”

“Oh,” Jayden said, picking up a washcloth and rubbing his face. I leaned over. “Now we have each other all weekend. I know you look forward to the fishing trips. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” he replied, picking up a bar of soap.

“We can go together. I mean, you can teach me. I’d love to go,” I offered, my voice still even. “Where is this place?”

“Near Columbia.” Truth. That was the truth he was telling me and I could tell by his quick answer and his tone. “I was going to cancel, anyway. I’m not up for it.” Lie.

“Oh really?” My temperature began to rise as I studied him keeping busy with bathing himself.

“You know I’ll do anything with you, Jayden. Anything.” He looked up at me, a deep sea of blue surrounded by thick wet eyelashes.

“Well, you can start by assuming the position when I get out of the tub. What do you have on there, Mrs. Monroe? It doesn’t seem to have easy access.”

I stood up, looking down at him as he noticed my frown. Pushing my shoulders back, I decided to give him one more chance.

“I’d really like to go. I mean, fishing is not exactly my thing, but I want to know this side of you, too. Just this once?”

“Nah, we can go another time,” he said, putting the washcloth over his face. That was it for him. The subject was closed. Escaping the bathroom with my temper in check, I rounded the corner, walking into the kitchen. And just as suddenly as I had convinced myself that he would tell me in his own time, I thought of how long he had been lying to me. Thinking quickly, I pulled out two empty water pitchers from the cabinets and began filling them with ice. Stomping my way back to the bathroom, ice grenades in hand, I tossed the arsenal of ice cubes into his hot tub. Big blue eyes greeted me in surprise as he screamed out, looking around him as if he had been shot. Wincing and cursing in disbelief, he stood in a bath full of ice.

“What the hell is your problem?”

“I don’t know. It seems I have some anger issues. Maybe I should call Dr. Sawyer!”

Jayden’s face went blank as he stepped out of the freezing tub and wrapped a towel around himself.

“Mom told you?”

“She assumed I knew, and why wouldn’t she? Don’t you think I have a right to know this?”

He walked past me toward the bedroom, and that’s when I saw the huge bruise on his back.

I rushed behind him to inspect it. “Oh my God, what happened?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, pulling on some shorts and a t-shirt.

Anger surfacing again, I moved in front of him. “You may not like it that I know, but now I do. Let’s talk about this. And I am going to worry about why it looks like you got kicked by a horse in the fucking back!”

Jayden’s face twisted slightly before I saw resolve pass over his features. “Typical, even as perfect as these last few months have been, and the fact that I’ve given you nothing to bitch about, you still manage to find something.”

“Not fair, and I’m not the one who was lied to. Talk to me. Why wouldn’t you just tell me?”

Jayden took in my posture, my hands firmly on my hips, and what I was sure was clear agitation on my face.

“This,” he said quickly, gesturing to my face. “This shit right there, I can’t stand it. The way you are talking down to me, looking at me. I don’t need you to look after me.” He walked out of the room and I followed him, not at all willing to drop it.

“Well, tough shit. You gave me the job,” I said, thumbing my wedding ring in a circle around my finger. “And I refuse to sit on the sidelines while important decisions are made concerning you. That’s not how this works. I’m not an afterthought, I am your wife!”

Jayden sat down and picked up his Xbox remote. It took everything I had in me not to take it from his hands.

“Jayden,” I addressed him as he ignored me so casually it stung the deepest part of my chest. “Jayden!” I stood looking down at him in complete disbelief as he shut down on me. “Way to act like a fucking grown up!” I marched over, gathered my purse and keys then walked out the door.

Hours later, I walked to our front door feeling excited, shopping bags in hand. It was just a fight, an important fight and I would have to stand firm, but I knew it wasn’t damaging. I knew he would eventually tell me about Dr. Sawyer. At least, I hoped he would. What I did know was he did not like discussing his issues or his therapy. He’d made that clear from the start. But I wasn’t about to ruin our entire weekend. I hoped we could talk it out and enjoy the rest of our night.

When I took in the scene in front of me after walking through my front door, I dropped my bags. Men were gathered on my couch, drinking heavily and laughing as Jayden scanned my face. His company took a shot of tequila and Jayden, shot in hand and eyes on me, followed behind them. I felt the danger of the situation in that moment. And in that moment somehow I knew Jayden shouldn’t be drinking. I decided the battle could wait because I sure as hell wasn’t ready for war.

“Hey, Mrs. Monroe,” Jordan, Jayden’s best friend who had recently come home from overseas, greeted me. “Sergeant,” I said back in polite reply.

There were a few other guys in the room I didn’t recognize and Jordon quickly introduced me. “This is Tye and Gary. These are my tour buddies, and this is Mrs. Hilary Monroe.”

“Nice to meet you guys,” I said, my eyes never leaving my husband’s. “I’m just going to put this stuff down. Pour me a shot, would you?” I made my way to the bedroom with my bags and dropped them on the bed then lay back. I had two choices: be the nagging, bitchy wife and hold a grudge, or try to be good company and play along with Jayden’s attempt to avoid our argument. I opted for option two and quickly started changing my clothes when Jayden walked in.

“Jordan called and asked to hang and I didn’t want to be rude,” he said simply with his hands in his pockets.

“It’s cool. It’s not like we have company all the time. I mean do you want me to make myself scarce? I could call Gerri and find some trouble to get into.” I pulled a t-shirt off a hanger and slipped it on.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” Jayden said from behind me as he stood at the closet door. “Baby, do you know how pretty you are?”

I paused before zipping up my jeans. “So are you,” I said honestly. “But I’m still upset. Just promise me we will talk later.”

“I promise.” He pulled me to him and I sighed. He smelled incredible and I wanted nothing more than to feel him surrounding me. He leaned in to kiss me, and though I swore I’d made peace with our situation, he felt me stiffen when he leaned in. “What the fuck, Hil?”

“Don’t get upset, Jayden. I’m trying to let it go.” He pulled away, shaking his head. “Yeah, well, you are doing a shitty job.”

“Thanks,” I huffed, pushing past him. “And you are suddenly the authority on handling situations maturely, right?” I didn’t bother to wait for an answer as I exited the bedroom, rounding the corner and heading straight for my tequila shot.

“Let’s make some noise, fellas,” I said, pulling up my shot for a toast as Jordan handed Jayden another. “I got a raise today.” I saw the surprise and a flash of anger in Jayden’s features because I hadn’t shared with him as he absorbed my words. I couldn’t help the small amount of satisfaction that I got from seeing his irritation. I knew I was playing with fire, but at the same time, I deserved a little happiness. I’d earned it. As the guys cheered with my admission, the first shot went down smooth.