Текст книги "Beautiful Misery"
Автор книги: Chandin Whitten
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Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 18 страниц)
Escaping out the back door, I jogged down the patio steps and followed the dirt path through our twenty acres. It was mid– March and in Ohio it’s still pretty cold. I could see my breath as I walked, but I didn’t care. It helped numb the pain. Finding a large rock beside the semi frozen creek I took a seat.
Cobie, if you were here I’m sure you would yelling at all those people in our house making a mess and not using coasters. It’s only been two days but I miss you so much already. How am I supposed to live the rest of my life with this empty feeling? You filled a place in my life I never thought could be repaired. You made me whole. I wish you were here. You would love this weather, crazy girl. You loved the cold, cloudy days and sitting by the creek. Just send me a sign, anything letting me know you’re still with us.
It began to snow. Cobie loved the snow and making snow angels.
She was my snow angel.
13
Gage
5 MONTHS LATER
“Mom, you sure you will be ok with Londyn?” I kissed my daughter’s chubby cheek one more time.
Laughing, my mom pried Londyn from my arms and said, “I think I can handle it. I mean, I did raise you and your brother. Besides, she told me she wanted some Gran time.”
“This is the first time I have left her for more than a few hours si-since Cobie.” I closed my eyes and rubbed my face before continuing, “Maybe I shouldn’t go tonight. The bar has done just fine without me. Londyn needs me.”
“Sweetheart, it has been five months since Cobie pasted. You need to get out and live. Londyn will be just fine. You can call or text me any time to check-in on her. We have a big night planned. After dinner we are going for a walk on the beach, bath time, then snuggling up and enjoying a bed time bottle.”
Frowning, I relented. “Ok, I’ll go. But only for a little while. Larkin and Jenna have been begging me to go out with them so I guess I shouldn’t let them down.”
“Go and have fun. Stay out as late as you want. The guest house is unlocked. Enjoy being baby free. Londyn will be here in the morning when you wake up. You deserve to have a life, honey.”
“I guess buying a house here will come in handy, huh?” I asked, smiling at my mom.
Tamra Tucker and I have not always seen eye-to-eye on my life’s choices but she has always supported me. Now that I’m a parent I see where she was coming from all those years. A parent wants what is best for their child.
“This isn’t me telling you ‘I told you so’…but I told you so.”
My mom and I both laughed before I kissed Londyn one more time. Running my hand through her wavy brown hair I whispered, “Love you princess. Daddy will see you in the morning. Be good for Gran.”
I took a few steps toward the door but stopped and looked over my shoulder. “Thanks, mom. I love you.”
My mom gave me a half smile and said, “You’re welcome, sweetie. I love you, too.”
This place was packed. I pulled around to the side of the building where the employees park and shut my car off. I already missed Londyn.
Unplugging my phone from the car charger I dialed my mom.
“Hey, sweetheart. Everything is great here. Your daughter just ate a jar of peas and a jar of apples. We are getting wiped off then heading to the beach for a little while. We love you. Goodbye.”
My mom didn’t pause for a second, nor did she wait for me to say anything before she ended the call.
Laying my head back I stared out at the ocean. Cobie never got to see Londyn play in the sand or the way she giggles when the waves splash her. Londyn loves the ocean. Closing my eyes, I rested my arm across my forehead.
“Are you dead?” Jenna asked, tapping on my window.
I wish.
I felt around for the door handle and opened the door. “What?”
“Larkin told me he saw you pull in but never get out of your car. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”
Popping my eyes open, I said, “Everything is peachy. My wife is dead, my daughter wants her Gran over me, and I’m living with my parents. Yeah, I would say everything is wonderful, wouldn’t you?”
Jenna raised onto her tippy toes and stuck her finger in my face. “You listen here, Gage. I know you’re hurting, but that does not give you the right to treat me like shit.” Jenna lowered herself and put her hands on her hips. “I wanted tonight to be a good night. If there is any chance in hell that’s going to happen, this ‘poor me’ attitude is going to have to go. I am in no mood for it. I swear as God as my witness if you test me tonight Gage Tucker, I will knock the shit outta you.”
I looked at Jenna for a moment before turning my attention back to the ocean. “You think Cobie would have liked living here?”
Jenna’s body relaxed a little as she smiled. “Yeah, I do. She loved the ocean.”
“I’m coming back. I signed a deal with the Saints.”
Jenna threw her arms around my neck. “No way? I’m so proud of you!”
“Yes. My agent called me earlier today letting me know.”
“You two ready to go inside?” Larkin asked, his voice sounding a little pissy.
Jenna laid her head against my chest and smacked my stomach. “Did you hear the news?”
Larkin raised an eyebrow. “What news?”
“Gage is now a Saint.”
“No shit. Congrats dude.”
“Yeah, thanks. Why don’t you two go ahead and go inside. Just give me a minute then I will be in.”
Jenna exchanged a look with Larkin before they both agreed.
I hopped onto the trunk of my car when a small silver car caught my eye. Watching it pull into the empty lot next to my bar I saw the back door fly open and a small boy, probably around five years old, fly out.
“Dammit, Gabriel! What have I told you about getting out before I tell you its safe?”
The little boy with shaggy brown hair ducked his head. “Sorry, mommy. I’m just so excited. I get to play the guitar tonight, Uncle Jase promised.”
Taking my attention off the little boy I looked to his mom and I really wish I hadn’t. My khaki shorts got a little tighter just from looking at the woman. She was too far away to see too much detail but I could see she had dark brown hair and when knelt down to talk to her son her shirt rode up in the back and I could see some sort of tattoo.
“Gabe, I hate yelling at you, but mommy doesn’t want you getting smashed like a bug by some car.”
When the mom stood, I recognized her shirt. She works for me. Fucking great. And my shorts just keep getting tighter. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her, though.
I heard the giant, dark blue truck before I saw it flying into the lot. The mom I had been watching grabbed onto her son and flung him behind her.
“What the fuck are you doing?” She yelled at the driver.
The guy left the truck running my hopped out of the truck. “Parking, what the hell does it look like?”
It looked like a divorced couple trading off their child. The little boy slipped out of his mom’s grip and ran to the guy standing in front of her. The guy instantly had his arms out, catching the little boy.
Another guy, covered in tattoos appeared from the passenger side and high fived the little boy. “Uncle Jase!” The little boy, yelled.
The tattooed guy held his arms out. “Hey buddy. I’ve missed you. Are you ready to learn some good ole rock and roll tonight?”
The little boy bobbed his head up and down. “Will it be Lynyrd Skynyrd?”
Huh. The kid knew good music.
“You know it.” The tattooed guy responded.
I looked back at the mom. She looked bored. “Ok, well as fun as this little hoorah has been I have to get to work. Some of us have a child to raise.”
Maybe that was her little dig at the guy I assume was dad.
The little boy wrangled his way free from tattoo guy and ran to his mom. “Love you, mommy. Don’t work too hard.”
Her face lit up. “Love you too, Gabe. Be good and mommy will see you tomorrow afternoon.”
The assumed dad leaned in to kiss her cheek but she side stepped him and went straight to tattoo guy.
“Thanks, Jase. He loves spending time with you.”
Tattoo guy pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek. “You know I love spending time with little man. Now go shake your ass and make you some rent money.” He lightly smacked her ass before he climbed into the truck and buckled the little boy into his booster seat.
The first guy attempted to get the mom’s attention again. I saw her body go rigid and she spoke low enough that I couldn’t hear but he dropped it and got into his truck. She kicked at the loose stones in the parking lot as the truck drove away.
Something was definitely going on.
The mom dropped her head onto the roof of her car as a slew of curse words fell from her mouth.
Now I was intrigued. She yanked open the driver’s door and grabbed her purse before slamming the door shut and locking it. Stomping across the lot I could see more and more of her the closer she got. Her dark brown hair made her intense blue eyes that much more noticeable. She had an amazing mouth with plump kissable lips.
What the fuck was I thinking this way about someone who I didn’t know, and someone who works for me?
Once she was getting close I slid off the trunk of my car. Something was pulling me to her. I took one step before I retreated in the opposite direction.
I was disgusting.
I walked around the edge of my bar and looked up at the full deck. All the people carrying on lives like there isn’t a care in the world. Those who will probably go home with a random girl or guy tonight and regret it tomorrow. Not thinking tonight what could possibly result in that heat of the moment choice.
Slowly I walked up the steps to the throng of people drinking on the deck. Hoping no one would notice me and I could slip inside without a problem
No such luck. I had been spotted. And queue the giggly girls offering me drinks and their bodies.
No thanks. I warned off person after person and made my way inside to the bar. I just wanted a beer and to hide in my office until I could go home to my daughter.
14
Annie
Yawning, I walked up the steps and into the bar. Stopping just before going in I looked at the setting sun. This wasn’t supposed to be my life. I wasn’t supposed to be a single mom working at a bar. I had a plan. A plan that included being married to Derek and raising our son together. Nowhere in the plan did it say he was supposed to die and leave me to raise our son alone.
Pushing my hair back, I took a deep breath of the warm, salty air and opened the door. Being a bartender at Wet Spot wasn’t ideal but the money was good and I had a son to raise.
“Hey, bitch. Where the hell you been? Palmer has been looking for you.” My best friend squealed as soon as I was through the door. I loved Leigha but damn the girl needed to tone it down.
Smacking her away I said, “Palmer can fuck himself. I have told him I’m not interested. Not my fault the dumbass can’t take the hint. Tonight is not a night to mess with me. I’m on my period and I just had a run in with Tristan when your brother picked up Gabe.”
Leigha’s smile slipped a little. “Take some Midol and tell Tristan to go to hell. As for Parker, You can’t blame him for finding you so damn sexy. Momma’s got it goin’ on.”
Glaring at her I turned on my heel to face her. “Shouldn’t you be going and asking if somebody needs a refill? Hell, see if Palmer wants to fill you up just so he leaves me alone.”
She frowned before pouting, “He doesn’t like me. I tried.”
I still couldn’t figure out why Palmer wasn’t interested in her. She was smart, witty, funny, and gorgeous as hell. She was that all American natural beauty. She had long, wavy chestnut brown hair. Her tan skin made her greyish blue eyes stand out.
Leigha flipped her long hair over her shoulder and scrunched her face. “I’ll tell Palmer to get lost. Besides I heard Mr. Owner man is coming in tonight. You need to be on your game, not worried about some beach bum.” She may be a pain in my ass and a little too happy sometimes but God, I love her. I know I could always count on her and she always has my back. Through everything she has been the only person in my life that hasn’t left.
“Isn’t the owner some big time soccer player or something?” I asked.
Leigha laughed and shook her head before bouncing off to the table. I shrugged, and made my way to the employee room. It was only eight at night but this place was already filled. Being mid-August I wasn’t surprised, but I also knew that meant another late night.
Looking down I noticed something on the floor. Bending over I saw it was a beer bottle. I grabbed it and before looking up started to take a step and ran into something solid, falling flat on my ass.
Not thinking I yelled out, “What the hell?” Thinking some drunk vacationer knocked me over, I was irate.
Before lifting my head, there was a large hand being shoved in front of my face. Staring at the fingertips I scanned my eyes over the hand and onto the muscular, tattooed arm and straight into the bluest eyes I’d ever seen. Swallowing hard, I stared into those clear blue eyes. I felt as if they could see into my soul.
“You okay?” A deep voice with a slight southern accent asked.
Without speaking I nodded my head. Taking his hand I allowed him to help me up. “Um. Thanks.” I dropped the guys hand and darted around him without looking back.
My hand was still tingling from the feeling of his touch. I hadn’t felt that way since before Derek died. Wiggling my fingers and making a fist I tried to force the feeling out. Flinging the employee door open I threw my purse into a locker and rested my head against the cool metal. After taking a few deep breaths I gathered myself enough to go back out, hopefully not running into mystery man again.
Once I was behind the bar I had order after order being yelled at me. Making a few drinks helped to clear my head. Then, I turned to see Palmer sitting on the barstool right in front of me. His silver eyes sparkling from the overhead lighting, he ran a hand through his buzzed red hair. That damn knowing smile on his face. The guy was a relentless creep.
Rolling my eyes, I curled my lip in disgust. “What the hell do you want, Palmer?”
Palmer slid a twenty dollar bill across the bar and waggled his eyebrows. “You know, Annie, I think I could make you very happy.”
Keeping my head up, I dropped my eyes to look at the money on the bar before bringing them back up to look at Palmer. “How? Are you leaving?”
Palmer didn’t take the hint. Instead he tried again. “Can I buy you a drink?”
Looking behind me, to my left and to my right I raised an eyebrow. “No, but I’ll take the money. Thanks.” Snatching the twenty dollars off the bar I shoved it into my shorts pocket. Smirking I walked to the opposite end of the bar to wait on another group of people.
I was busy making a huge order of mixed drinks when I heard that cat– scratch voice again. “Annie, why don’t you go ahead and ask me out. I know you want to, I can see it in your eyes. You can stop your little game now.”
With my back to him I squeezed my eyes shut. Turning until I was facing Palmer I slowly opened my eyes and slammed my palms onto the bar. “You know what, Palmer, you’re right. I would love to ask you out. Why don’t you go out and play in the damn traffic or go out and play in shark infested water?”
Palmer narrowed his eyes. “You can keep up with this little act but eventually you’re going to break down and give into me. You can’t hide behind that wall forever, baby.”
Scooting both my hands across the bar I leaned close to Palmer and said, “I will never give into a guy like you. So why don’t you take the hint and back the fuck off?”
Palmer’s lip twitched before he grabbed my hands. Yanking my hands away I took a step back as Palmer said, “I would love to fuck you off, baby. Just give me one time…”
Before Palmer could finish he was being yanked off the barstool. Widening my eyes I saw the mystery man from earlier shoving Palmer into the wall, placing his forearm across Palmer’s throat.
“I do believe the lady told you to fuck off. I think it’s time you left.” Mystery man spat out.
Palmer attempted a laugh, trying to seem unaffected. “I’ll leave when I’m good and ready, and I ain’t ready yet.”
I could see the vain in mystery man’s neck ticking with each heartbeat. He looked murderous.
“Well see buddy, here’s the thing. I’m the fuckin’ owner. And, I think I will decide when it’s time for you to go. That time was about five fuckin’ minutes ago. You have two options. Number one, walk the hell outta here on your own with a little dignity and respect or two, I can have my men carry you out like the fuckin’ piece of shit you are. Your choice.” He loosened his hold on Palmer, letting him go.
What the hell? Mystery man was the owner? Damn. He was hot.
Palmer rubbed his hand over his throat before staring mystery owner man down. It really was a funny match up. Palmer was around five feet six inches with bright red hair, freckles, gray/ silver eyes, and absolutely zero muscle. He was the epitome of creepy dork. Then you look at mystery owner and all I can think is badass. He was well over six foot with amazing blue eyes, light brown hair, and tons of tattoos.
“What’s it going to be?”
Palmer squinted his eyes before saying, “Fuck off. You ain’t the owner and you ain’t doin’ shit to me.”
Mystery owner man smirked as the amusement washed over his face. “You’re right, I won’t do shit. I pay people to deal with little fuckin’ scums like you.” He jerked his head in my direction before saying, “You step in my bar again and I will make sure you will never ‘fuck off’ as you put it, again. And harass her or another of my employees and I will personally castrate you myself. Got it, buddy?”
I let my eyes drift from Palmer and mystery owner to see two very large men in tight black shirts and dress pants walking in our direction. As the two men approached Palmer I could see his body getting tense. The two large men picked Palmer up and made their way back through the crowd, and out the front door.
Closing my mouth I blinked a few times. Holy shit!
I shook my head trying to once again clear my thoughts of mystery owner. I turned back around to finish the order I was making before the Palmer drama interrupted me.
“You ok?” That deep, husky voice sent chills down my body.
Looking over my shoulder, I smiled and nodded. Turning back to the drinks, I hoped he would leave. After making a few more drinks I turned back to face the bar and found that sexy man meat sitting on the stool Palmer had been occupying.
Plastering on a smile I asked, “Need a drink?”
Smirking, mystery owner shook his head. “Nah. I don’t think it would look to good if the owner was drinking.”
“You’re really the owner?” I asked, fully curious.
Looking confused mystery owner looked around. “Why would I lie about being the owner? And why the hell would I have two random bodyguards with me? I’m the one and only Gage Tucker.”
“But, I thought the owner was some big shot soccer player or something. Shouldn’t you be like, I don’t know practicing or something?”
Gage pursed his lips before saying, “I sure as hell don’t kick balls for a living. I’m the quarterback for the New Orleans Saints.”
“Well either way you play with balls to get your money. Not much difference.” I smiled before bending over to pick up a bottle of tequila.
I needed a shot.
Slamming the bottle on the bar, I grabbed a shot glass and poured. Throwing the alcohol back, I welcomed the warming in my throat. Setting the glass on the bar I looked at Gage, who was smiling.
“Better now?” Gage grabbed the shot glass and poured another, sliding it across the bar towards me. “One more.”
I slowly blinked and looked down at the full shot glass. Was he testing me? Did he want to see if I would get drunk on the job?
Bringing my eyes back up to meet his I shook my head one time. “I have drinks to make. Maybe some other time.”
Gage picked up the glass and wrapped his lips around the brim, letting the alcohol drain into his mouth. He could even make taking a shot look sexy.
Fuck. I was in trouble. I didn’t know this man from a hole in the wall but hot damn I was attracted to him.
Gage wiped the corner of his mouth before setting the glass down. Looking from the empty glass to Gage’s ocean blue eyes he winked before hopping off the stool. “Have a good night, Annie.” He turned and strutted away.
How did he know my name? My name tag, duh dumbass. I smacked my forehead and sighed. I didn’t do this. Men didn’t make me go stupid. What the hell was going on? I didn’t do that whole alpha male swooping in to save the damsel in distress shit.
Gage Tucker made my brain turn to mush. I was screwed. The two times we had been around each other and I felt shit I hadn’t felt in years. No love at first site but serious sexual tension.
Totally. Fuckin’. Screwed.
