Текст книги "Beautiful Misery"

Автор книги: Chandin Whitten

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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

I watched as the two boys walked off, hand in hand. From behind they could pass as father and son. That stung a little. That also had my heart fluttering. I wasn’t sure which was worse.

Pat opened the car door. We were at The Roosevelt Hotel in New Orleans. This wasn’t no Holiday Inn. Gage spent a lot for us to stay here. “Mr. Tucker apologizes for not waiting outside but it’s a little difficult for him to be in public. I was told to tell you to go to the second floor and he will be waiting.” Pat handed our bags to the concierge. “Have a wonderful night, Ms. Holland. I will see you tomorrow afternoon.”

Picking up a sleeping Gabe I said, “Thank you, Pat. I hope you have a great night.”

The doorman opened the door and I was in awe. I felt like royalty. There were golden columns lining the walkway with giant crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. This was the rich and famous lifestyle I would never have.

I wanted to walk around and take it all in, but carrying a sleeping fifty pound boy didn’t make that very plausible. Instead, I made my way to the elevator and hit the second floor. Stepping off the elevator I looked around for Gage. The hall was empty.

Just as I found a chair to sit down Gage rounded the corner. “There you are. Oh, is little man asleep?”

“Yes. He fell asleep right after we left the game.”

Gage reached for him. “Here, let me take him.” I wasn’t going to complain. The kid was heavy and I was tired.

Walking down the hall in semi comfortable silence I was about to tell him thank you for the tickets when a gorgeous red head came bounding up to us. “Oh my God, you’re Gage Tucker!”

Gage looked down at the girl. “That’s me.”

“There’s a party in my room tonight. Want to add to the fun?” The red head asked. Her sugar sweet voice making me sick.

I tried to hide my mix of gagging and laughing, but I failed. Gage winked at me before saying to the girl, “I’m trying to get my boy in bed. So, if you would excuse us.” Side stepping the girl we walked two doors down and Gage slid in his keycard, unlocking the door.

I opened the door for him. I thought the lobby was swanky. Shit, that had nothing on the room itself. There was a large couch and loveseat positioned in the middle of the room facing a large flat screen television mounted on the wall. Against the wall was a desk, looking out the window. Opposite the desk was a six person dining table, mini fridge, and coffee bar. There were two doors beside the coffee bar, both open letting me see it was a bedroom and what could be maybe a conference room or office. There was a short hall that ended in the master suite.

“You didn’t have to get a two bedroom. Gabe and I could have shared a bed.”

Gage stopped, watching me. “This is my suite. You and Gabe will be in there” -he pointed to the room on the left– “and I will be in there.” He pointed down the hall.

“Oh.” We would be sharing a hotel room? Not what I expected.

“Don’t worry. I will be a total gentleman. You and Gabe even have your own bathroom. You won’t see me unless you want to. I’m going to lay him in bed.”

Gage walked into my room and gently laid Gabe on the bed. I kissed his head and whispered I loved him. I turned and came face first with Gage’s chest. His very hard, tattooed chest.

“Oh, sorry,” I mumbled.

Gage gripped both my arms and looked into my eyes. “Can we talk? Please?”

I could feel the electricity his touch was sending through my body. Waves of want crashing on me. “Sure.”

19

Gage

Running my hands down her arms I grabbed her hands and pulled her out of her room. I had to get her out of there. Too many dirty thoughts were running through my head. Leading her to the couch I sat down, pulling her with me. She made sure to leave adequate distance between us.

Now that I had her alone I was tongue-tied. I wasn’t sure what to say. I adjusted uncomfortably on the couch. I gave up and stood, padding to the mini fridge. “Want a beer?” I asked over my shoulder.

“Sure.”

Grabbing two beers, I popped the tabs and made my way back to the couch and sat a few feet away from her. She kept her head facing forward as I handed her the beer. We both took a long pull. She turned her emerald green eyes to me. “What do you want, Gage?”

What I really wanted was her. I wanted her naked and in my bed. I wanted that jersey she was wearing to hold true meaning. There was something about her that had my heart racing, but at the same time my head was telling me to slow the fuck down. I wasn’t ready. I was looking for someone to fill a huge hole in my life. Cobie couldn’t be replaced. Annie was the first beautiful woman I had seen. Being the proud owner of a dick, it reacted the way any other dick would. I was human and I loved sex. I missed it.

“I want to know why you hate me.” There, we would use that as a starting point.

Annie shifted her eyes around the room, repositioning herself as she did. She scooted further away and tucked her legs underneath her. Physically, she looked comfortable. Mentally, she couldn’t have looked more uncomfortable. My hand was twitching to touch her. I entwined my hands and held on tight to my beer bottle, stopping myself from looking like a fucking idiot.

She finally sighed and said, “Gage, I don’t hate you. I don’t really know you well enough to hate you.”

“You certainly don’t like me.” I looked straight ahead at the wall. I propped my feet on the coffee table and waited….

And waited…

And waited…

Finally the green eyed goddess spoke, “I like you. Too much for my comfort and that scares me. I didn’t think I would literally run into some guy at work one night and never stop thinking about him. I wasn’t prepared for that. I’m not ready for that.”

Trying to hide my excitement, I took another swig of my beer and I asked, “You couldn’t stop thinking about me, huh?” That earned me a brief smile before tears were filling her eyes. Fuck. I hated when females cried. I didn’t mean to make her cry. What did I say that made her turn to tears? “Shit, Annie. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry. I was just trying to make a joke out of something serious. I meant to make you laugh and clearly those are not tears of laughter.”

She wiped away the few tears that escaped. Rotating so she was facing me, she worried her top lip. “Your friend Jenna talked to me earlier,” She whispered. I nodded and she continued, “She told me I should tell you what I told her. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, though.”

“Conclusions? About what?” I knew exactly what she was talking about. I wanted to hear her say it.

Suddenly the beer bottle on her lap became very interesting as she answered me, “Us.”

“It’s no secret how much I like you, Annie.”

“I know. But, I don’t know what you want from me.” She looked at me through her lashes.

Pulling my bottom lip into my mouth, I watched her eyes go wide and her breathing accelerate. I was making her nervous. She made me nervous. I wanted to tell her the truth. “I don’t know what I want, to be honest. I know I like you and just thinking about you has a smile forming on my face. But, it has only been five months since my wife died.”

“How long were you married?” Annie’s voice was so soft.

“Two days shy of one month. Our relationship isn’t the usual love story. It was our own crazy, written in the moment novel that ended too soon.” I could see all the questions Annie had written all over her face. I could tell she wanted to ask, but didn’t want to upset me. “My wife, Cobie, is...err was, my best friends little sister. She was the line I shouldn’t have crossed. At the time we were both hurting. I guess you could say we used each other. She was supposed to be a one night stand. She ended up pregnant with our daughter, Londyn. When her brother found out he wanted to kill me. Which is ironic. Her older brother is Larkin. He is married to Jenna. He essentially did the same thing to me a few years ago with Jenna. I won’t go into details, because that’s not my story and Larkin makes Jenna happy.”

I chanced a look at Annie. She had moved around again. This time she had her knees at her chest with her arms wrapped around them, her beer dangling in one hand, and her chin resting on her knees. “I’m so sorry, Gage.” Her eyes full of sincerity.

I lifted one shoulder and brought the bottle to my mouth again, empting the contents. “Anyway, Cobie and I decided we wanted our daughter to have a stable, loving home. I bought a house in her hometown and we made a home. I fell in love with her. Could I say, if it wasn’t for Londyn, would we still have fell in love? I don’t know, and never will. When she was five months pregnant we found out she had cancer. Her options were terminate the pregnancy, which meant inducing early labor and going through all the motions of having a baby, but not taking our baby home. Or, having our family and Cobie losing her life. Cobie made the decision before her doctor was finished telling us our options.”

I heard Annie’s audible intake of breath. “Oh my God, Gage. That is horrible.”

“I was so fuckin’ pissed in the beginning. Then Cobie made me realize there was nothing I could do. I had to accept it. It still hurts and I still struggle. I still have my moments of anger, but I know Cobie is with us.”

Annie took a drink of her beer. “I wish I could be a little more like you.” She gave a sad smile over her bottle.

“Really? Why’s that?” I figured I was the last person she wanted to be like.

“I’ve never talked about this before.” Her eyes started tearing up again.

“You don’t have to. I told you what I did so you would know where I was coming from. I like you, but I’m not looking for anything serious. I just want to have fun again.”

“I was almost six months pregnant when Gabe’s dad was killed.” Annie stared off into empty space.

“Wait, what?”

Shaking her head, Annie looked at me. “Huh?”

“I don’t want to dig, but I thought that Tristan guy was Gabe’s dad.”

The disgust that took over Annie’s face let me know how wrong I was before she opened her mouth. “Fuck no! I hate him. He is the reason Gabe doesn’t have a father.” Shutting her eyes she took a deep breath. “Jase and Tristan have a band with a couple other guys. Gabe’s dad, Derek, was in the band. They had a show one night at some bar about an hour away.” I saw a tear fall from her eye. Reaching up I used my thumb and brushed it away. Flinching, Annie opened her eyes. “After the show the guys thought it would be smart to get high before driving home. Derek knew he was going to be a father. Hell, we said once I turned eighteen we would get married. That never happened. Tristan wrecked his Mustang, killing Derek instantly. Leaving me alone, seventeen and pregnant, to raise our son.”

And here I thought what I went through was bad. At least I had the gift of time. Time to spend with Cobie and make memories I would never forget. To cherish her and our family. At the time I thought I was going through hell. In reality, I was married to someone I loved, we had a beautiful healthy baby, my career was great, and I was surrounded by the ones I loved. Annie lost everything without warning.

“What about your parents? Didn’t they help you?”

Annie shook her head once. “No idea who my father is. Last I heard Vicky, or my mom, if that’s what you want to call her was in jail for drugs. I haven’t talked to her since I was fifteen.” Laying her head back on the arm rest, she used her empty hand to rub her eyes. “I have a sister, Heather, two years younger than I am. When we were little we bounced from foster home to foster home. We were separated and since she was only six at the time a family eventually adopted her. I ended up with a foster family that lived next to my best friend. They never adopted me, but I stayed there until I found out I was pregnant.”

I was at a loss for words. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was or how I could only imagine how she felt. I knew they were just words. They did nothing to ease the pain. The ache was still there. People could talk until they were blue in the face and had a raw throat, nothing helped. This was something you had to deal with on your own.

Leaning up I saw her eyes were shut. Her lips were slightly spread open. I wanted to kiss her. Before thinking myself out of it, I leaned over her and pressed my lips against hers. Her eyes flashed opened. Just as I thought she was going to push me away she dropped her beer on the floor and let her legs straighten. Running my tongue across her bottom lip, I gently sucked it into my mouth and nipped it before taking over her mouth. She tasted like a mix of beer and mint.

Letting my body weight press her into the couch I shoved my hands into her hair. The little moans that were escaping her were pushing me closer and closer to doing something I was sure neither of us were ready for. I wanted her. Bad. The fact was, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to want her. Mentally I was telling myself to stop. My cock on the other hand was up and ready to show off.

Breaking the kiss, I lifted my head. “Annie, if you don’t want this to go any further then we need to stop. I’m starting to lose my control.”

Slowly opening her eyes, Annie was breathing heavy. “What if I said I wanted you to lose your control?” She ran her teeth over her top lip. Fuck. That was hot as hell.

“Are you sure? I mean, are you ready?” Am I ready?

She wrapped her arms around my neck. “Yes. Please. I want this.”

I didn’t want to disappoint her. “Not out here. I don’t want to wake Gabe up.”

Annie smirked. “A little sure of yourself are you?”

Raising an eyebrow, I quipped, “Yep.” I stood and lifted her into my arms.

Making the short walk to my room I laid her on my giant bed. She looked nervous. Maybe she wasn’t as ready as she thought. Or, maybe it was me that was nervous. “Annie, we don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”… or anything that I’m not sure I’m ready for.

“I’m not going to say no, Gage. I have wanted you since the night in your bar. I was afraid. I don’t want to get attached and get hurt again.”

Lying beside her, I reached for her hand. “I’m not making promises, Annie. I’m not ready for promises and futures. I like you, right now. That’s all I can offer.”

Turning her head to face me, she said, “I learned six years ago that you have to live in the moment. I have been too scared until you. Something about you makes me want to live.”

Digging into my pocket, I adjusted myself and pulled my iPod out. I hit shuffle and tossed it on the nightstand. Scooting back to Annie I slid my hand under the hem of her shorts. I felt her stop breathing. “You gotta breathe, baby. You won’t be much fun if you pass out from lack of oxygen.”

Annie had a nervous smile and tried to laugh. “Sorry. It’s just been awhile.”

“I know what you mean.”

Scrunching her face, she said, “No, I don’t think you do.”

Popping the button on her shorts and pulling the zipper down, I slipped my hand under her light pink lace thong. I felt her smooth, silky skin. “What do you mean?”

Annie’s cheeks heated. “Have you had sex within the last six years?”

I gave her a look that said “duh” and nodded my head. “Oh. Oh! You haven’t fucked anyone since Derek?” I asked incredulously.

She shut her eyes and bit down on her bottom lip. “No.”

Keeping my hand in her panties but not moving, I demanded, “Look at me.”

Peeking at me she mumbled, “Let me guess, I can go now?”

Smiling at how adorable she looked, I shook my head. “No. I want you right here. But, why me?”

Annie fully opened her eyes. “I told you. You make me want to live. I don’t know why, but I feel safe with you. I feel alive. When you’re around I don’t hurt so much. Like you said, though, I’m not ready for anything special. I just want to find myself again and live. Have fun.”

“I am happy to help.” I flashed her a grin and brought my mouth to hers. I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing but for right now I’m turning my brain off. I liked the way Annie made me feel.

Slipping my hand the rest of the way into her panties I felt just how alive I made her. Which also made my shorts that much tighter. “Yeah, I would say you’re alive. Damn, baby.”

Annie pulled my head back to her. She took control of the kiss, moving her mouth with reason, purpose. I felt her hand sliding down my side and into the waistband of my shorts and boxers. My body jerked when her warm hand grabbed my dick. Her touch singeing me.

She broke the kiss, her eyes where huge. “What’s wrong?”

Pulling both her lips between her teeth, she glanced between us. “Um. I d-don’t think…I don’t think this will work.”

Trying not to let my frustration show, I pushed myself up onto my arms. “Just a few minutes ago you were all for it.”

She shook her head and palmed my erection. “This. I don’t think it will work. Like, fit. Inside me. You know what I mean?”

Not that I look at other guys junk or compare sizes, but I was happy with what I had. There had never been any complaints. Just hearing Annie’s true concern had my cock twitching. Fighting my laughter, I said, “It will fit. Trust me.”

Letting out a sigh, she slowly nodded in agreement. Standing, I pulled her shorts and thong off. I let them fall to the floor before taking my shorts and boxers off, dropping them next to her discarded clothes. Pulling my shirt over my head I stopped when I saw her mouth wide open, one eyebrow arched. “What?” I asked, dropping my shirt.

She snapped her mouth shut and swallowed. “I’ve just um…I’ve never seen so many muscles on one person. Not that I really check out a lot of guys but to go from nothing to”– she motioned up and down my body– “that. Shit!”

Grinning, I crawled over her until we were face to face. “And I plan to use every one of these muscles.” Not waiting for her reply I kissed her hard. Using my tongue to explore her mouth. Using my legs I pushed hers open. With one hand I rubbed over her swollen bud. She raised herself up and released my mouth just long enough to pull her shirt, which just so happened to be my jersey, over her head. Crashing my lips back to hers I quickly unsnapped her bra and with my free hand and tossed it the floor.

Running kisses down her neck, I stopped to inhale her soft vanilla scent. Continuing down her neck I made my way to her taut, pink nipple. I sucked it into my mouth and lightly nibbled on it. She let out a soft moan and shoved her hands into my hair. Using her fingers she massaged my scalp as I used my fingers to massage her warm, wet pussy.

I pulled my hand away from her. I grabbed my throbbing cock and placed it at her opening. Slowly, I started pushing into her slick heat. She squeezed her eyes shut and bit down on her bottom lip, hard.

“Too much?”

She shook her head. Pulling in a deep breath, she said, “No. Oh God. Don’t stop.”

“Hurt.” I meant it as a question but it was more of a statement.

“No. More uncomfortable. I’ll be okay.”

I slid to the hilt. Not moving I kissed the tip of her nose. “I’m going to move.” I started pulling out when she was grabbing the sheets around us, her body arching off the bed.

“Oh my God! Holy fuck!” She yanked the pillow from beside her head and covered her face. Drowning out her cries.

That didn’t take long. I guess that old saying is true. No pain, no gain. I pulled the pillow from her face. Her cheeks were flushed. Her pupils dilated. Her breathing heavy. “Why did you cover your face?”

“Gabe. I didn’t want to wake him. I don’t know how well he would take to walking in here seeing his mommy impaled by your unhumanly large penis.”

Laughing, I said, “He’s at the opposite side of the suite. No way will he hear you. I want to see your face when you get off.”

“Next time?” She coughed out.

“Yep. This isn’t a one night thing, Annie. Obviously we don’t want anything serious, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be special friends.”

“You want me to be your fuck buddy?”

Lifting my eyebrows I searched her face. “For lack of better words, yeah, you could call it that.”

She shifted under me, my cock sliding back into her. Her breath caught. “Deal.”

Gorilla by Bruno Mars filled the room. How apt. Not letting my dick fully slide into her, I pulled out and quickly slammed into her. I repeated the process a few more times before Annie’s eyes grew dark, her breathing labored. And that’s how I found out she was mutli orgasmic. Seeing her face twist with pleasure and hearing her saying my name had me losing it. My body went jagged, jerking at its own accord.

I rolled to my side and let out a wary breath. Pulling the blanket over our naked bodies, I stared at the ceiling. “I have a question.”

Annie lifted herself, resting her head on her hand. “What?”

“What does your tattoo mean?” I ran my hand along her lower hip and back where the ink was.

“She flies with her own wings. I got it when I was sixteen. One of Derek’s friends that was in the band with him is a tattoo artist. Not that I was a stoner like the other guys, but one night we were all smoking and Kamp decided he was going to give me a tattoo. I found the quote and Kamp permanently put it on my skin. Little did I know just how much meaning those three words were going to hold.”

What does a person say to that response? She had been through so much. Something inside me wanted to protect her and keep her safe. I wanted to find her mom and shake the shit outta her. Who could ever leave their children, choosing drugs over them? I didn’t want Annie to experience any more hurt. Too bad I knew that’s exactly what I would do. I would hurt her. I should walk away. But, I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.