Текст книги "Only You"

Автор книги: Stephanie Rose

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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

I loved the Yankees but baseball became tedious after an inning or two. There was something about a hockey game, though. Not sure if it was the fast-paced movement or the rawness of it. The best parts were when a fight broke out and it looked as if the glass surrounding the rink might shatter. Actually being at a game rather than watching on TV made it even more awesome—exciting and not scary since I couldn’t afford the seats by the possibly shattering glass.

One of my clients was a Rangers season ticket holder and asked if I wanted to take the tickets for tonight’s game off his hands. I thought a night at Madison Square Garden would possibly bring Evan out of the funk he’d been in lately. I’d been fighting a nasty cold for the past week; I hoped a fun night out would boost both our spirits.

Telling his father about moving him into a home didn’t go over well. Even though the doctors agreed he needed the extra care and supervision, his father wouldn’t say one word to Evan on any of his usual visits. He still hadn’t taken me over to meet him, which was probably for the best as I wouldn’t want to call him an ungrateful, selfish bastard at our first meeting. How could he treat his son like this?

“This was almost me.” Evan tilted his cup of beer at the ice. My brow furrowed.

“What was you?”

“You didn’t know I played hockey in college? If I had any, you know, talent, I’d be scraping the ice along with Lundqvist down there.” He winked as he took a swig of beer. There was a hint of a smile on his face for the first time this week.

“It’s embarrassing to know you for as long as I have and not know this kind of stuff. You played hockey? Holy shit, that’s hot.” I pretended to shudder as I ran my hand down his chest, making him throw his head back and laugh.

“Daisy, did you not listen to me? I sucked. I didn’t get past freshman year.”

I shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I bet you had a ton of puck bunnies lined up anyway.” I wiggled my eyebrows and he pursed his lips.

“Puck bunnies? What exactly are ‘puck bunnies’?” He smirked as he leaned closer. I huffed and rolled my eyes.

“Hockey groupies. Girls who get hot and bothered watching you play with your hockey stick, and then try to play with your other stick after the game.” Evan choked on his beer as he chuckled at me. It was so good to see him laugh and relax a little. Evan put his arm around me and kissed my forehead.

“Sorry, Daisy. No puck bunnies. If there were, they were after the guys who actually got to play, not the last resort line.” He kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear. “What am I going to do with you?” I rubbed his leg and turned to kiss his lips.

“Question is what am I going to do with you? The power of suggestion has me all squirmy.” His chest shook from laughing at me.

“You okay?” I rubbed his neck and he leaned into my touch. Evan nodded.

“Yes. I’m sorry I’ve been a weirdo all week. I just wish Dad felt better about moving.” The smile ran away from his face as he lowered his gaze to his lap. “I try to take care of him, but all I do is make him miserable. Maybe if I hadn’t gone away to school, wasted my time with stupid things like hockey, he wouldn’t be in this mess.” I lifted his face so he could look at me.

“Your father would have drank regardless, and I have never known anyone who takes care of their parents the way you take care of him. You’re a wonderful son, and no offense, more than he deserves after what he’s put you through all these years.”

Evan looked down and nodded. “It’s been rough. He wasn’t always like this. He lost Mom, without warning, and just couldn’t handle it. I do all of this for the father I remember, maybe he’s still in there somewhere.” The vulnerability in Evan’s expression made my heart break in half.

“I feel awful for him, but he had a son to take care of. My father died when I was a baby, but my mother had to find it in herself to pull it together for my sake. Granted she’s made being overbearing an art form, but she did what she had to do. You were all alone. That upsets me so much.” Evan took my hand and laced our fingers together.

“I wasn’t all alone. I had Jack, and your family.” He shrugged. “Some people can handle tragedy, some can’t. My mom would be pissed at him, but would never want me to just leave him. I’ve been wondering what she’d think about all of this.” His voice trailed off. I yanked our joined hands to pull him closer.

“She’d think you were an amazing son and be very proud of you. And I’m going with you to move him in. I can handle myself.”

A loud crash came from the ice and drew our attention. Helmets and punches flew and I bounced in my chair like a kid. I glanced over at Evan; he shook his head at me.

“What? I told you I love the fights. Now who’s staring?” I narrowed my eyes at Evan. He laughed as he put his arm around me to pull me closer.

“You know I may have my old college jersey somewhere at home. I can pretend to be a decent hockey player and you can be the sexy, blonde puck bunny who can’t get enough of my stick.” Evan trailed slow kisses down my neck. I giggled and tried not to get turned on in the middle of a crowd.

“That wouldn’t be role playing for me, now would it? If you want to up the ante, you could maybe pick up a Lundqvist jersey on the way out. I could call you ‘King Henrik’ if you want.” He bit my neck and made me yelp.

“You’re lucky I love you.”

Yes, I was. And it was time that someone showed Evan they loved him back.

I gazed out the window at the Long Island Sound. My dad had a sweet view of the water, and a pretty nice private room. You wouldn’t know it the way he grumbled around with his walker as we settled him in. I could tell Paige being here with us made him hold back what he normally would be saying to me right now.

“Mr. Jacobs, I hung up the rest of your clothes in the closet. The shoes are on the bottom. Let me know if you want me to fix anything.” Dad settled into the chair next to his bed as he nodded at Paige.

“Thank you.” He was being polite, almost pleasant. I would take her with me for every visit if it made him so damn amiable, but it wouldn’t last. No one else should have to put up with him as much as I did. Paige sauntered over to me and rubbed my back.

“I’m so sorry I have to leave. I couldn’t move this client meeting and they insisted on meeting in person rather than just over the phone. If I can make it back from White Plains in time, I’ll come back . . .” I shook my head and kissed her temple.

“You did enough. And you need some rest. You can’t keep your eyes open past nine o’clock lately and you were sick again all last week. If you get back early from White Plains, you go straight home and I’ll meet you there later.” Paige was taking on too much work between her main job at the agency and freelance projects on the side. She needed to slow down before she collapsed, but I failed to convince her to not come with me today. I had to admit it was a battle I was glad to lose—having her with me made a huge difference.

“Bye, Mr. Jacobs. It was nice meeting you. I’ll come back with Evan and see you again soon.” Paige made her way over to where Dad was sitting and squeezed the top of his hand. Dad nodded in response. She gave me a quick kiss and then rushed out the door.

“Reminds me of your mother.” Dad stared blankly out the window after Paige left. The stroke affected his entire right side, but he still spoke clearly. Unfortunately, his way of speaking was usually yelling. This is the first time in a while I could remember him talking to me without malice in his voice.

“Who does? Paige?”

Dad chuckled. The hint of a smile on his face as he gazed in my direction was also pretty foreign to me.

“Pretty and sweet, but I caught a dirty look from her when I snapped at you. Reminded me of when you were a kid and your mother would tell me to get off your back. You love her?”

I nodded. “I do.” I grabbed Dad’s suitcase from the floor and lifted it to put it at the bottom of the closet. He grabbed my arm.

“God knows you deserve a little love. Just don’t blow it.” Dad turned his attention back to the window. For once, I didn’t feel like a fuck up son who couldn’t do anything right. For the first time in years, I got a glimpse of the father I hoped still existed somewhere, even if only for a moment. That’s when the guilt came crashing down on me. Maybe I could have done better, had more patience. Sure, he was a nasty bastard at times, but he was the only father I had, and the only parent I had left. And I just moved him into a nursing home.

“I think they come around with a snack truck in the late afternoons.” I reached in my back pocket to take out my wallet to give him a few bucks to get something.

I was surprised to find a piece of white folded paper next to the five-dollar-bill. I was religious about not stuffing my wallet with receipts and other junk, so I had no idea where this came from. From the back it looked like a handwritten note. I unfolded it and recognized Paige’s handwriting.

I stuffed this note into your pristine wallet hoping you’d find it while you were still with your Dad. I know you’re thinking what an awful son you are. You were a boy without a mother who took care of his father without a second thought. You dropped everything to help a sick friend get back on his feet. You are the most wonderful man I’ve ever known. I’m the luckiest woman in the world for being able to call you mine. I love you.

Just thought you may need to be reminded of that today. Paige

I never felt sorry for myself for not having it easy. I learned to live on my own and take care of myself without needing anyone—until Paige. I didn’t remember when she went from the girl of my dreams to the love of my life, but now she was as essential as the air in my lungs and the blood in my veins. She was it for me, forever. I had never been surer of anything in my entire life.

“I won’t blow it, Dad. That I can promise you. I’ll be back tomorrow to settle you in a little more. Get some rest.”

Dad nodded without looking back. Not exactly warm, but it was nice not to see a sneer across his mouth for a change. I tried to shake off the self-loathing and think of today as a good day, maybe even a step in the right direction.

I pulled out my phone when I got into the hallway.

Me: I love you, Daisy. So much.

Paige: Found my note Mr. OCD? You OK babe?

Me: Yeah I’m great. I’ll see you tonight. And I mean it. No gym and straight home.

Paige: You’re sexy when you’re bossy. Yes, sir ;)

Me: I’ll see you in a couple of hours. And do me a favor.

Paige: Sure, what?

Me: Make sure you’re naked by the time I get there.

It was official. And scary as hell. My best friend was a father.

Jack Anthony Taylor, Jr. was finally here, and a buster at nine pounds and seven ounces. I couldn’t figure out how a little bit of a thing like Ellie carried all that baby. I closed the office early and headed over to the hospital to see the little guy we’d all been waiting for. As Paige and I traipsed down the hallway to Ellie’s room, I gazed up and said silent thanks to God, my mother, and whomever else was listening that Jack got to hold his son. Today was something that none of us would take for granted.

Ellie was cuddled next to Jack in bed, looking blissfully happy but exhausted. When Jack’s sleepy gaze met mine, he grinned. Paige squealed as she rushed over to the baby’s cradle.

“Oh my God. He’s so beautiful. Congratulations, guys! Jack, he looks so much like Grandpa! It’s a little spooky . . .”

Jack nodded. “I told Ellie the same thing. I think it’s the nose. I should tell Dad to bring horse racing betting stubs to put in his hands so we have the full effect.”

Paige laughed. “So true. Can I hold him?”

“Of course you can. You’re his godmother,” Ellie told Paige in a strained whisper. Paige’s head jerked in her direction.

“Really?” Her voice cracked as her jaw trembled.

Jack gave her a sideways glance. “Stop blubbering. Who else would we have? I figured we’d have Evan be godfather. Who needs Captain Caveman raising a ruckus in St. Ann’s if you have to stand next to another man?” Jack smirked at me.

“Yeah? Whatever the reason, I’m honored, bro. Thank you.” Jack nodded and looked away. I knew him well enough to realize when his mind was elsewhere. I’m sure it was bittersweet to gaze at your newborn son, and not be sure if you’d be around to see him grow up.

“Actually, Paige, before you pick him up, could you help me to the bathroom? C-sections really suck.” Ellie gingerly scooted to the edge of the bed and attempted to get up. Jack lifted her by the arm.

Paige grabbed her hand. “Sure, I’ll just pretend it’s the day after your bachelorette party again.” Ellie winced as she chuckled. Paige kissed her forehead and led her to the far side of the room.

I strolled over to the bed as Jack stood up.

“Congratulations, Pop!” I shook his hand and he pulled me into a hug.

“Thanks, man.” He crept over to his son’s cradle and lifted him up. “I always wanted a son. I would have been happy with a healthy baby of course, but I had big plans for a boy. Growing up, I got stuck with a whiny girl who shoved her My Little Pony and Cabbage Patch Kid dolls in my face. Paige even put GI Joe into Barbie’s convertible. Nothing was sacred.” I laughed as Jack settled into the rocking chair in the corner. His eyes never left his son. “My Dad and I had the best time together when I was in little league. He stayed on the field with the other fathers and got excited over every little stupid thing I did. When I first hit the ball off the tee, then when I got my first real hit off a pitch. Poor bastard practically jumped up and down when I crossed home plate.” I chuckled and nodded.

“Sounds like your dad.”

Jack let out a long sigh, still fixated on Jack Junior.

“As his godfather, you need to make every single game. Hopefully, you don’t suck as bad at baseball as you did at hockey and could show him how to hold his bat.” My stomach sank as I realized what he was trying to tell me. I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall. “Very funny. I played little league, too. I’m sure I have a little to offer. Besides, you’ll be the one on the field—”

Jack lifted his gaze to me. A tear escaped the corner of his eye. “Drug stopped working. My borrowed time is going to be coming to a close sooner than we thought.”

I swallowed and fought to steady myself. I knew this day was coming. I even tried to prep myself for it. No matter what you do, you’re never ready to lose the best friend you ever had, especially when he had so much to live for.

We stared at each other for a long minute. Jack shook his head and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

“Does Ellie know?”

“No. Not yet. I’ll tell her once we get Jack Junior home. I wanted to at least give her this. Let her be purely happy just for a little while. We’ve talked about this over and over again, and we knew the drug was a long shot. My girl is a tough little thing. Why I love her so fucking much . . .” Jack’s voice broke as he shut his eyes.

“Sorry, little guy. Daddy said a bad word. Don’t tell on me, okay?” Jack Junior wrapped his little hand around his father’s index finger and squeezed. Jack’s face broke into a sad smile. “Thanks, buddy. I appreciate it.”

I stepped over to Jack and put my hand on his shoulder. “Every game. I promise. Whenever he needs me, I’ll always be there. I know it’s not much . . .”

Jack looked up and shook his head. “It’s everything. Thank you.”

The bathroom door squeaked open. Ellie trudged out with Paige by her side. My chest constricted at the smiles on their faces as they giggled getting her back into bed.

“Okay, now it’s my turn.” Paige jogged over to Jack and scooped the baby out of his arms. She caught my gaze and I nodded back. How was I going to tell her? I hoped Jack would do it, but I had the awful feeling she would be getting the news from me. I had to break her heart, and it killed me.

I wrapped my arms around Paige’s waist as she cradled the baby in her arms. I bent over to rest my head on her shoulder. We laughed as his eyes opened wide, almost as if he recognized us. My godson would never remember what an awesome father he had, and it pissed me off.

So many people would be devastated: Ellie, John, Marie, Paige—the list seemed almost endless. The good really did die young, and it made absolutely no fucking sense. For the second time in my life, I wished I could spit in God’s face.

“I’m sorry I’m such a drag lately. You must be bored out of your mind.” I snuggled into Evan’s side as we lounged on my couch. I fought the urge to fall asleep. For the past few weeks, I’d had about enough energy to make a nightlight flicker.

“Daisy, stop it. I’m not bored.” Evan pulled me closer and rubbed my back. I lay my head on his hard but very cozy chest. “I’m never bored with you—but I am a little worried. You’ve been sick on and off for a while now.” Evan furrowed his brow as he gazed down on me.

After weeks of fighting the same awful cold, I came down with the worst case of bronchitis. I felt better for a couple of weeks, but then relapsed into walking pneumonia right before Halloween. Three weeks later, my cough didn’t want to leave, and it was easy to get out of breath. I felt as though I’d aged ten years in a matter of weeks.

“The doctor said it hit me hard and may take a long time to go away. I don’t know how you can’t be bored since I am going out of my mind. I hate not having energy.” I was so tired I hardly went to the gym anymore, and my throat was on fire constantly. I supposed my constant hacking irritated the hell out of it.

“Maybe you need more antibiotics. Why don’t you get a second opinion? See what another doctor says.”

I shook my head. “I’m fine. I just need more rest and for my hot boyfriend to keep buying me Wendy’s Frostys.” I lifted my head to give him a peck on the lips.

“I’ll buy you whatever you want, but I want you to get better. You could go see my doctor. Please, Daisy.” Evan kissed my forehead and leaned his chin on my temple. “For me.”

“I’ll see, babe.” I ran my finger along the stubble on his jaw. “Stop being such a worry wart.” I kissed his neck as I rubbed his chest. “Feel like getting a movie tonight?”

“Torturing me with another musical?” Evan picked up my hand from his chest and laced our fingers together.

“You didn’t like Grease?” My head snapped up as my mouth dropped in horror. “I don’t think I could be with anyone who doesn’t like that movie.”

“I don’t hate Grease, calm down. It just gets dumb after a while. All of a sudden everyone breaks into song, it gets annoying. Although it was adorable how excited you got when Rizzo sang with the blonde wig.” I nudged his shoulder and he chuckled.

“How about Across the Universe? I get singing, you get Beatles songs, it’s a win-win.” I sat up and wrapped my arms around Evan’s neck. He shook his head at me.

“If you want Beatles songs, I can sing to you.” He gave me a sideways glance while I squinted my eyes at him. “What? I can sing. Beatles songs were my lullabies as a kid. Remember when I was in the choir when Jack and I were in St. Raymond’s? I’ve still got a good set of pipes, if I do say so myself.”

“You were in the choir? Oh my god.” I shot up from laying down and put my hands over my mouth. “I’ve been screwing a choir boy all these months? Talk about a complete waste of good role playing material.”

Evan sat up and put his elbows on his knees. “Did you know anything about me other than my name when we were kids?”

“I guess not. Sorry.” I shrugged and pouted. A smirk tickled the side of his mouth as he moved closer and sucked, then nibbled on my bottom lip.

“You’re lucky you’re so cute.” He kissed the tip of my nose and I giggled as I pushed him away.

“Okay, then sing for me.” Evan raised his eyebrows in reply.

“You’re serious?”

“Yes. Dazzle me.” I crossed my legs under me and sat up straight. “C’mon, Ringo. Let me have it.”

“All right, if that’s what you want.” Evan scooted over to me and wrapped his arm around my waist. He moved my hair to the side and planted a slow wet kiss right behind my ear before he sang the beginning verse of All My Loving.

The boy could sing. I was stunned by the velvet timbre in Evan’s voice. It wrapped around me and traveled right through me. It was smooth and hot at the same time, sexy and gravely but somehow so sweet. I leaned into his chest and shut my eyes.

When he finished, my face was still buried in his chest with my hands clutching his broad shoulders. I let out the breath I barely realized I was holding. I felt his voice all the way to my toes.

“Well?” Evan pulled back and lifted my chin to meet his gaze.

“I think you melted my panties off.” He burst out laughing, but I wasn’t kidding. Even though I wasn’t quite one-hundred percent, there was a hot ache between my legs that made me want to straddle this man who was too sensual for his own damn good.

The ringing phone snapped me out of my trance. I leaned over Evan to grab the receiver off my end table and he gave me a loud smack on my ass. I yelped as I answered the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Paige. Just checking to see how you feel.”

“Hey, Ellie. Still knocked on my ass but not quite as bad. I feel awful that I haven’t been able to come see you guys but I don’t want little Jack to catch anything.”

Something had been off in her voice the past few weeks. When I spoke to her the day she came home from the hospital, she sounded exhausted, but still the same chipper Ellie with happiness oozing off every word she said, especially when she talked about the baby. Now our daily talks were short and overshadowed with an uncomfortable silence. When I’d press her about what was wrong, she just said she was tired.

“It’s okay. Your aunt and mom have been here the past couple of days to give me a hand. You just get better for the christening.”

“Wild horses couldn’t stop me from that church, you know that. Why are they both there? Did my cousin chicken out on changing diapers?” I laughed, but she didn’t laugh with me. There was a long moment of awkward silence.

“Jack . . . hasn’t been feeling too well. Really tired. They came over to help us out so I don’t get overwhelmed.” Her voice trailed off as my heart dropped into my stomach. No. Not Now. He just had a baby, he couldn’t be getting sick again.

I shot up on the couch and glowered at Evan as I spoke to Ellie.

“How long has Jack not been feeling well?” Evan shut his eyes and looked away. Oh, hell no. I wasn’t going to tolerate being lied to and kept in the dark.

“Just the past week or so. Tomorrow he goes to the doctor for a transfusion, which should make him feel better. Please, Paige, I didn’t call to worry you. The baby just started crying so I better go. Your mom keeps telling me not to spoil him by picking him up so much, but I can’t help it. He’s always with me or his daddy . . .” Her voice cracked as it trailed off. I couldn’t find it in me to badger her for the answers I wanted. I could, however, go straight for my boyfriend’s jugular after I hung up.

“Okay, Ellie. I’ll call you tomorrow. I love you guys.”

Ellie let out a long sigh on the other end of the line. “We love you, too. Just rest and feel better.”

We said our good-byes, and then I turned to confront Evan. My face heated as I glared at him. He held his hands up in defeat.

“Daisy, I didn’t lie to you. None of us wanted to tell you Jack didn’t feel well and worry you while you’re still sick. He’s still at work, just more tired than usual. That’s why he’s going for a transfusion.” He tried to rub my shoulder but I jerked away from his grasp. I was never a fan of being treated like a fucking child or be the last one to know anything. Since Jack got sick, that was pretty much how I was treated by everyone.

“Aren’t transfusions a bad milestone, like he’ll start needing those more and more just to feel close to normal?”

“Daisy, I don’t know. I’m not a doctor and I don’t know much . . .”

“Google end stages of Leukemia. It says transfusions are a sign of the beginning of the end.” I took a deep breath as my hands started to shake. My body was absorbing the information it never wanted to receive and was rejecting it. If only it were so easy to make it go away. “I can’t even help them because I’m . . .” My head fell to my hands as sobs wracked my body.

“Hey . . . shhh . . .” Evan pulled me back in his arms and rocked me back and forth. “Look, you just rest, let Jack do what he needs to do, and we’ll all talk about it when we’re together, okay? Let me take care of you for now.” I lifted my head from Evan’s now tear stained shirt and nodded. We lay back on the couch, and I stayed silent as I rested my head on his chest again.

“C’mon Daisy, Grease, Rent, I’ll watch whatever you want.” Evan picked up the remote to search through the movie selections.

“Across the Universe would be good. Maybe you can sing more for me?” My tears were still falling but I managed to meet his gaze and give him a strained smile. My head was spinning and I just wanted to forget for the next couple of hours.

Evan smoothed my hair off my face and tucked it behind my ear. “I would love to sing for you, pretty girl.” I closed my eyes as he kissed the top of my head.

“I like listening to your heartbeat, it’s relaxing.”

“My heart is talking to you. You know what it’s saying?” I looked up and narrowed my eyes at him.

“No, I can’t figure out what it’s saying, weirdo.” I plopped my heavy head back on his chest, which was now shaking as he laughed.

“It’s saying ‘Dai-sy, Dai-sy’” I laughed and shook my head.

“You’re such a goofball.”

Evan kissed the top of my head and shrugged. “Please go back to the doctor for me.”

I turned to face him and ran my hand down his cheek. “Okay. For you. I’ll go. Now come on, Ringo, amaze me again.” Evan tightened his grip around me and gave me a soft kiss on the lips.

“I love you so much.”

I smiled against his lips. “I love you, too.” I kissed Evan’s cheek and snuggled back into his chest.

I didn’t see much of the movie. I drifted off into a deep but troubled sleep and woke up disappointed that the nightmare I had wasn’t only make believe.

I was smarter than people gave me credit for. I could read between the lines. Regardless of whether people were afraid to tell me, it didn’t make the truth any less real. My cousin, my big brother, my twin . . . was dying.