Текст книги "Only You"

Автор книги: Stephanie Rose

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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

Ellie’s eyes were hollow. The second she opened the door, I knew.

“I’m so sorry—” I put my arms around her as she cried softly into my chest.

“It was . . . peaceful.” She shrugged. “We lay in bed watching some stupid show I can’t remember and he just . . .”

Tess arrived right after I did and came behind me in the doorway. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” She put her hand on my shoulder as she draped her arm around Ellie. “John and Marie are on their way here, but they called me since I lived closer. Where’s Paige?”

Ellie held up her cell phone still clutched in her hand.

“She isn’t answering. She was just here a few hours ago and said she was going straight home. I keep calling . . .” Ellie’s voice cracked as her jaw trembled.

“She may be sleeping. She’s tired lately. Let me try.” I dug my phone out of my back pocket and dialed Paige’s number. Three times my call went straight to voicemail.

The moment I’d dreaded for months was now upon me. I’d have to tell Paige that the cousin she loved like a brother was gone.

“Go, sweetheart.” Tess cupped my cheek. “Jack would want you to take care of her, and I think you need each other right now. I’ll stay here with Ellie. Tell her I’ll come over later.” Tess shook her head and let out a long sigh as she turned away. “My poor baby. She’s been so sick lately. I worry how she’s going to take this.” She looked back me and raised her eyebrows. “Be careful driving like this.” Tess gave me a kiss on the cheek as she kept a comforting arm around Ellie. It’d been a long time since I’d been mothered by anyone but Marie. In spite of everything, I grinned at how nice it was as I made my way out.

As I drove to Paige’s apartment, I went from having a small knot in my stomach to being a nervous wreck. How the hell was I going to tell her? I was terrified this would make her sicker, too.

Paige’s car was parked in front of her apartment and her lights were on. Why didn’t she pick up the phone?

I turned the key to her front door, and uttered a macabre chuckle that I never got to tell Jack she gave me a key. The door opened and I crept in.

I found Paige sitting on her couch in the living room. She didn’t look up as I approached, even though I was sure she heard the key in the lock. Photo albums lay across her lap as she studied each page.

I leaned against the wall as I gazed at my girl; she didn’t answer the phone because she knew why we were calling. Relief flooded my system that I didn’t have to break the news to her, but it killed me to know that she found out when she was alone.

“Hi, Daisy.” Paige lips turned up into a smile before she lifted her head. She watched me with red and swollen eyes as she shivered under a bathrobe.

“Hi, babe.” Her voice cracked as she looked at me. “Want some?” She held up a glass of white liquid that looked like milk.

“What’s that?” I came over to the couch and knelt before her, smoothing her hair off her boiling forehead. She had another fucking fever.

“Bailey’s. The only thing I could drink straight and not throw up.” She lifted her hand to her temple and shut her eyes. “I think I have a fever.” I rubbed her back and nodded.

“Yeah, I think so, too. Give me the glass and we’ll go lay down, okay?”

“In a minute, I wanted to show you . . .” Paige pointed at the album in front of her. “You’re in so many of these pictures. Back then we actually got them developed instead of just hoarded them in our phones. This was our sixteenth birthday. We had a joint party, remember? DJ and everything. Jack didn’t want a girly sweet sixteen but we had a blast. Guess I’ll be celebrating our birthday alone from now on . . . and look at this one.”

My chest constricted as I realized their birthday was next week. This was the first March eleventh they wouldn’t spend together.

Paige pulled back the clear wrapping and peeled a photo off the page. “That’s you and me. We danced that night.”

I took the photo from her hands and chuckled to myself. I had always been so damn tall, I towered over her. Even at sixteen, Paige was breathtaking. Her long blonde hair cascaded down the back of her off the shoulder black dress as her emerald eyes beamed at the camera. My hand looked huge resting on her tiny waist. I remembered every second of that one slow dance with her all those years ago.

“I think we should frame that. We looked good together, right?” She had a fever, and almost half the bottle of Bailey’s was gone, but she was talking a mile a minute.

“Yes, we should.” I cupped the side of her face and stroked her cheek with my thumb. She leaned into my touch as her jaw trembled. “You were always so beautiful. None of us could take our eyes off you that night. I didn’t even give a shit that we danced to *NSYNC.” Paige closed her eyes and laughed.

“The things you remember. You amaze me.” She sniffled as she took my face in her hands and kissed my forehead.

“No, you amaze me.” I leaned my forehead against hers. Her body was quivering, but I wasn’t sure if it was from the fever or her trying to hold everything inside. I stood from the floor and gently pulled her up and off the couch. “Does your head hurt?” Her pale cheeks were pinkening, almost as if she had sunburn. She gave her head a small shake and looked away. “Your mom is going to come over later. She’s worried about you.” Paige nodded and bit her lip.

“Was he . . .” Paige took a deep breath and wobbled in my arms. “Was he in pain? Was it quick?”

“In his sleep, Daisy. He was watching TV and drifted away.” She sunk her face into my chest, slowly panting as she clenched the material of my T-shirt with her fists.

“I . . . I should have stayed. I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that today was the day, but I ignored it.”

I pulled away to draw her gaze up to me. “Ellie was laying with him. He wasn’t alone.” She nodded and shivered even more. I was afraid to mix Tylenol with the liquor in her system, but the way her fever was spiking made me nervous. I took my jacket off and led her back to the couch.

“Come sit with me.”

Paige cuddled into my side, her arm wrapped around my stomach. “You really remember that dance?”

I chuckled and kissed her forehead. “Absolutely. Best five minutes of the entire night. You wouldn’t still have that dress by any chance, would you?” Paige peered up at me and smiled.

“Nope, but I bet I could find another dress just like that one if you liked it so much.” She let out a long sigh as she rubbed my chest. “I’m so tired, babe.” Her voice was barely a whisper. I held her closer and kissed the top of her head.

“I know, Daisy. Go to sleep. I’ll wake you when your mom gets here.” Paige huffed at me.

“Like I’d be able to sleep through that. We talked about you today. Jack and I. He said he was happy we found each other. That he was relieved. He said you talk about me a lot.” Paige rested her chin on my chest as she gazed up at me. My heart squeezed in my chest as I ran my fingers through her damp hair; I hoped the sweat on her brow meant the fever was breaking. I loved her so fucking much and it gutted me to watch her suffer at all. I nodded slowly.

“I do. When you have the best girl in the world, it’s hard to keep it to yourself. Especially when you waited for her for over a decade. I’m desperately in love with you, in case you haven’t noticed.” I gave her a soft kiss on the lips. She shut her eyes and trembled in my arms.

“I love you, Evan. I love you so much.” Sobs ran through her as she collapsed to my chest, wailing and gasping for breath. I rocked her as I cried with her.

“I love you too, Daisy. Always have. Always will.”

“Could you sing for me?”

I chuckled into her hair. “Of course. What do you want me to sing?”

“Same song.” I sang the first verse of All My Loving, and before I knew it she was asleep.

I let myself really cry, finally, even though I was careful not to make too much noise and wake her.

I cried for more than my dead best friend. Everything about me revolved around Paige; my past, my future, my heart and soul.

Something was wrong, though. I knew it. I was as sure of that as I was certain the end of her would mean the end of me.

Two days after Jack’s funeral, I was back at the office. Taylor’s Flooring was now all mine. Mine to manage—and mine to fuck up. This was Ellie and Jack Junior’s income, and there was no way I’d let Jack’s legacy go to shit. But there was one problem: I wasn’t a businessman. Not an experienced one, anyway. I texted Jessica the night before I returned to see if she could come in early to help me go through the books. I wanted to see if we were turning a good enough profit, and if there were any money leaks or extra expenses we didn’t need.

I was no psychiatrist, but I was aware this was my way of avoiding the reality of what life had become. My best friend was dead and my girlfriend was sick. Putting my energy into the business was the only thing that made me feel useful, that maybe I was accomplishing something, anything.

“Find anything?” I strolled over to Jessica as she poured over the books. There was nowhere else for her to sit other than Jack’s desk. I got used to it being empty over the past couple of months when Jack couldn’t really be in the office, but it still didn’t feel right to see someone else in his chair.

“Nope. Not so far. Jack kept great records, and things look good from what I’ve seen so far. As long as business keeps coming in, you should be in good shape. I’ll keep looking and let you know if I find anything you should be concerned about.” Jessica gave me a small smile, and I nodded back. I was leaving myself wide open for her to take money and run, but Ellie knew her pretty well and trusted her. And although she seemed like a cold fish when I first met her, she was understanding about me hovering over her all day and asking question after stupid question. Maybe she felt sorry for me, but whatever it was, I thought I’d ride it out.

I was on edge about the business, and about Paige. She felt fine some days, but there were others when I could tell even getting out of bed was torture for her. All the doctor told her after a zillion blood tests was that she wanted her to make an appointment with a specialist. Paige’s appointment was at the end of the week. I wanted to go with her, but Tess said she would, and I was sure she wouldn’t leave that office until someone gave her an answer she was satisfied with. I was thankful she seemed to like me, because I sure as hell didn’t want to be on her bad side.

I sat back at my desk and shot a text to Paige.

Me: Hi, Daisy! How’s my girl today?

Paige: Tired but not awful. I finished my freelance project so I’ve been laying on my couch like a bum. Doesn’t totally suck. How’s your day, babe?

Me: Be a lot better when I see you. Jessica probably thinks I’m a nut case for making her go over all the books.

Paige: I need to meet this Jessica. As long as she knows you’re taken, I’m okay with her thinking you’re nuts ;)

Me: Like anyone would outshine you in my eyes . . . although this jealous streak is sexy. If you want to claim me later, I’m all for it. The teeth marks on my arm are fading . . .

Paige: You’re an animal. Is it weird being there? I don’t think I can go there yet.

It was weird, but comforting in a way. Jack was everywhere I looked, from the Yankees pennant across the wall to the endless boxes of pretzel chips he liked to keep at work.

Me: A little but a good weird. Kinda like he’s still here. I’ll be there later tonight. I love you.

Paige: I love you too, babe.

I smiled as I set my phone back on the desk. I loved it when she called me ‘babe’.

“You probably think I’m nuts for making you do this.”

Jessica shook her head as she scoured through the rest of our accounts payable lists.

“Ellie told me what you did. How you moved back when Jack called you for help. You must have come in pretty blind, but I think you’re doing great. I’m here to help you however I can. Nice to know my masters in accounting wasn’t for nothing.” She chuckled and shook her head.

“Masters in accounting? Don’t take offense and believe me I’m very fucking grateful you took this job—but why would you want to work in a small shop like this? You should be in corporate finance, no?”

In the few weeks Jessica had worked for us, she’d done an amazing job. Everything was organized to the letter, from our books to the supply closet. She wasn’t unfriendly, but mostly kept to herself. Work was a silent place now and it drove me up the wall. I volunteered to help the guys on a couple of jobs this week just to get away from the maddening silence.

“Let’s just say I broke a cardinal rule in business and leave it at that.”

I folded my arms and leaned back against my desk. “I won’t pry. As long as it wasn’t the ‘don’t steal from your boss rule’.” I raised my eyebrows. I didn’t want to be a jerk and stick my nose where it didn’t belong, but if I was trusting her with our money, she couldn’t leave a statement like that just hanging there.

She let out a humorless laugh.

“No, not that one.” She lowered her gaze and let out a long sigh before lifting her eyes back to mine. “The don’t date your boss rule. Especially when said boss is married.”

“Ouch.” I grimaced at Jessica and looked away. I never would have guessed that in a million years. It seemed out of character for someone so rigid and by the book and shocked me that she said anything at all about it.

“Yep.” She gave me a slow nod and shrugged. “Since then, I like small businesses like this one. I come in, keep everything in order, and get left alone for the most part. The hours are a hell of a lot better too.”

“Not lately though.” I glanced at my watch. How did it get to be eight o’clock already? “Sorry about that.”

“No worries, Evan. I get it. I’m glad I could help you.” Jessica tidied up the desk before she got up. I doubted you could find serial killers more meticulous than she was.

“Go on, get out of here.” I nudged her shoulder. “I’ll lock up after you leave.”

“Okay. Good night. Don’t stay too late.” Jessica smirked at me as she sauntered out the door.

I nodded, my focus still locked on Jack’s desk. I spoke to him in my head sometimes, like I still did with my mom. Neither answered, but I hoped they heard me. I asked them both for the same thing: please help me not screw this all up.

I arrived at Paige’s after nine. Her lights were already off and she was in bed. She was so wiped out all the time, and the last few weeks had taken a lot out of both of us. Paige was curled up on her side, the flickering of the TV the only light in the room. Even in the near darkness, my eyes drifted to her tight little pajama shorts and lacy tank top.

I stripped down to my boxers before climbing into bed with her. I wrapped my arms around her waist and buried my face in her neck. She stirred in her sleep and cuddled into me. I placed a soft kiss behind her ear and smiled at the sweet purr she gave me in response. I pulled her closer and planted kisses down her neck and along the shell of her ear.

“Hmm . . .” She rubbed herself against me as I splayed my fingers over her thigh and pressed my body against her; my throbbing hard-on now poked her in the back. I ran my hand up and down her thigh and dipped my fingers into the waistband of those tiny shorts. I fought the urge to rip them off and bury my head between her legs.

We hadn’t managed to be close like this in a while. There had been a lot of crying and sleeping in each other’s arms, but that’d been as far as it went. Right now, I couldn’t keep my hands to myself. I loved tasting her and running my lips over all the sweet spots I’d gotten to know so well. I wanted to make her come with my mouth and my fingers, and then bury myself inside her as deep as I could go. Still, I backed away, in case she was too tired and only wanted to cuddle next to me. I got my answer when her hand reached back, grabbed my ass, and pushed me into her. I chuckled at how brazen she was, even while half asleep.

“You better get out of here. My boyfriend will be home any minute.”

Home. Her voice was a sleepy whisper and I was sure she didn’t realize what she said, but hearing her say I was ‘home’ with her filled me with a peace and solace that I’d never known before. She was my home. I loved Paige in an all-consuming, frightening as fuck way I never thought possible.

I dragged my lips down her shoulder as my fingers inched the hem of her tank top higher. “He’s a very stupid man for keeping someone as gorgeous as you waiting for so long.”

Moving aside the silky material of her tank top, I rubbed my thumb back and forth over her rigid nipple. A groggy moan escaped her as she bucked her hips harder into me.

“I missed you so much, Daisy.” My lips and tongue dove into the crook of her neck. Paige reached back and pressed the back of my head closer before turning to face me. She squirmed and whimpered as she moved my hand from her breast to between her legs. I hissed when I found her soaked through her shorts.

“Evan . . . it’s been so long. I love it when you touch me . . . oh, God!” I slipped my hand inside her panties and traced big and then smaller circles around her clit. Her chest heaved as she clutched my wrist in a death grip so I wouldn’t move my hand. I chuckled as I picked up the pace.

“Don’t worry, Daisy—I’m not moving until you come all over my fingers. Then I’ll take off this little top and those shorts and fuck you. Slow and deep and hard until you come on my c—”

“Fuck, Evan!” Paige tightened around my fingers as she arched her hips off the bed. I took her mouth in a ravenous kiss to muffle her screams. I wouldn’t take my fingers away until I got every last bit out of her. Her toes dug into the mattress as she shoved her legs together.

“Who knew such a sweet boy would have such a filthy mouth?” Paige raked her nails down my back and slid her hands inside my boxers. She gave my ass a squeeze before she pushed the fabric down. I helped her the rest of the way and flung my boxers next to the bed.

“And who knew you’d love it so much.” I licked the seam of her lips as I yanked off her pajama shorts. Once they were off, I lifted her tank top over her head and sucked hard on a nipple. She squirmed under me as she grabbed my head. My sweet girl was a firecracker in bed—and I fucking loved it.

“I need to be inside you tonight.” And need was absolutely right. I buried my head in her neck as I slid inside her. I took her hard and deep, just like I promised. Paige thrust her hips against me to make me move faster. Sweat dripped off my brow as I lifted my head to look at her.

“I love you so much, babe.” Paige’s words made me rock into her even harder. I wanted to claim her with everything I had. I could never get enough, or get deep enough inside.

“I love you so fucking much. Paige, please, I want you to . . . be my . . .” Shit, not again. How many times did I have to bite my lip and look away? I needed to propose soon before I made an ass of myself.

“I’ll do anything, be anything. What do you want, babe?”

“Fuck! Paige, I can’t . . . shit . . .” I felt her pulse around me as I came hard inside her. Balls deep inside my girlfriend was not the way I wanted to ask her to marry me, but my mind reeled when she looked like she would say yes. I smoothed her matted hair off her forehead and kissed her lips.

“I hate when you come home late, but if you do that every night I could try to get used to it.” I kissed her again as she laughed against my lips.

“So . . .” I settled on my back and cuddled Paige into my chest. “I didn’t get bit, I must be missing a step—Ow!”

Paige had sunk her teeth into my bicep.

“Better?” She kissed my chest and gazed up at me.

I ran my fingers through her hair and tried not to think about how much weight I just noticed she lost. “Much. You promised you’d claim me, remember?”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Is there a reason I need to claim you?” She pushed off my chest and glared. The hard look in her eyes made me laugh.

“You are so fucking hot when you’re possessive.” I wrapped my arms around her and rolled over so I was on top of her.

“You should know, there is no one else in this world for me. Ever. Do you have any idea how much I love you? And how much I worry about you? When is your doctor’s appointment? Are you sure your mom can go with you?”

“The appointment is Thursday. She’s a specialist, so I hope this one has a clue what she’s talking about. I think all the Advil for the joint pain is burning a hole in my stomach. It’s been hard to eat lately. Sucks to be in pain and be hungry all the time.” Paige crinkled her nose and looked away. That explained why I could feel the grooves of Paige’s ribs. For months she’d felt worse and worse, and no doctor had a fucking clue as to why.

“Wendy’s may be open still. I can get you a Frosty if you want one.”

Paige wrapped her arms around my neck.

“And you’d get me one, too, if I said yes, you crazy nut.”

I kissed her lips while I stroked her cheeks with my thumbs.

“I’m crazy about you. Do you have to go in to the office tomorrow? I told the guys I’d go with them on that new office building job so I’ll be back early. Maybe I’ll come straight here, we can get to bed extra early . . .” I wiggled my eyebrows and she giggled.

“Bring home a Frosty and you have yourself a deal.” She gave me a peck on the lips and dragged her nails up and down my back. There was that word again. Home.

“Anything for you, Daisy.” I would do anything for her. But the one thing I wanted to do the most was the one thing I couldn’t do—figure out what the hell was wrong, and make her better.