Текст книги "Ever Enough"

Автор книги: Stacy Borel

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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

Harper walked back over to me and sat beside me on the couch, taking my other hand in hers. She spoke calmly… too calmly, “West, it’s Harper. Nothing is changing. You and Emilyn are still moving forward with the divorce. You will help her and this baby financially because it is your responsibility. She’s not asking you for anything else. Now, I suggest you make this as easy on her as you possibly can because she is pregnant and stress isn’t good for her, or the baby. If you upset her any more than you already have, so help me, your face will become intimate with my lucky softball bat, and you will learn exactly how I made the varsity team as a freshman.”

I seriously had the world’s best friend. Wiping away my tears I smiled at Harper and she held up her fist and we bumped knuckles. West started to tell Harper that it was against the law to threaten someone, but I knew he was scared of her. Shit I was scared of her, and she wasn’t even threatening me.

“How are we going to work around this Emilyn?” West asked.

“Honestly… I don’t know. It’s still so new. I’ve barely wrapped my head around it.”

“When are you due?”

“At the end of April.”

He was quiet for another minute. “Alright, I’ll see what I can do to keep you on my insurance for the time being. I think it would be wise for both of us to speak to our lawyers so we can lay out exactly what we want with this new development.”

“Sounds fair, I guess.” I couldn’t expect anything more from him. I wasn’t happy that he’d accused me of sleeping around right after leaving him, but I knew the truth. At least now he knew he could take some time to get used to the idea.

“Look, I have a meeting I need to go to. I’ll talk to you later.”

I quietly answered okay, and we hung up. I looked over to Harper. “Well that went well.” I said, shrugging my shoulders and gave her a small smile.

“I can’t believe that bastard thought it was someone else’s. He may not have any tact sleeping around, but that’s not something you’ve ever done!”

“It doesn’t matter Harper, let it go. He needs some time to get used to the idea that he’s going to be a father.”

“Em, do you really think he’s going to want anything to do with the baby? You heard how he reacted.”

I was exhausted and I just wanted to take a nap. “I really don’t know. I’m just relieved I told him and I can start to enjoy this pregnancy. I’m still scared he may want to take my baby away just to hurt me or use her as some sort of financial pawn.”

Harper jumped, “No fucking way Em! That’s never going to happen. If he even tries, he will lose that battle. Don’t even think about that.”

“You don’t understand. I have to. West hasn’t been the same person he used to be for a very long time. He’ll do anything he can to get ahead. Hell he even used me to do it. I can’t not think about the possibility...” My eyes were tearing up again. I shook my head, and wiped my finger under my eyes. I stood up. “I don’t think I can talk about this anymore right now. I’m really tired. I think I’m going to go lay down for a bit. Can you wake me when it gets close to dinner time?”

Harper wrapped her arms around me, bringing her hand up to smooth down my hair. “Sure hon.”

I could see the worry etched on her face. She knew the reality of West being a vindictive person to get what he wanted in life, but she was going to be my rock and I was glad for that. I could—and would—survive this because of the people I had in my corner to support me. I needed to clear my head and calm my nerves. Harper was right. Stress wasn’t good for the baby and I had been under a lot of it lately. No matter how the baby issue with West played out, the divorce would still happen. I didn’t want him anymore—not that he’d ever even wanted me—and that would be a done deal soon enough. My ‘problem’ with Finn was festering in the back of my mind, but for now it would need to stay there.

But damn it was hard to forget about that kiss. That toe curling, melt the socks off you, passionate kiss that I swear I still felt on my lips. He may have said that he missed me—and his mouth may have seconded that notion—but I couldn’t ignore how broken I’d been when he left. The shattered pieces of my heart had never mended because I wasn’t enough for him. Those were the thoughts bouncing around in my head as I lay down for my nap; the very same thoughts that would now take a back seat while I focused on my new priorities. I no longer had the luxury of self-indulgence because I had a brand new human being that was relying on me to give it everything. I may have failed in my relationships, but I was determined to be the best Mother to my child that I could; the Mother that she deserved.

Two more appointments followed the first. One for some blood work, and another just to check my progress and make sure the baby was growing properly. I’d had no further contact with West since that one phone call. I’d come to the decision that whatever was going to happen would be out of my control, and if West wanted to be implacable then I would just deal with it. All I could do was live in the ‘now’.

Speaking of which, I was now at a point where my pre-pregnancy clothes no longer fit. I had grown a small little baby bump that was visible to the rest of the world. People at work noticed and were all supportive, and they loved to rub my tummy. At first I’d thought it was weird that people were touching me, but I’d gradually grown accustomed to it. Generally speaking, people loved baby bellies. Their hands would automatically reach out of their own accord and give my belly a little rub—some speaking to the baby as if it could hear them—and then go about their day. This became part of my new routine. I worked four days a week, and the other three days I stayed at home and cleaned, shopped, or stopped by my Dad’s office to help out with any extra little errands that needed doing. He was worried about me overdoing it and exhausting myself, but frankly I loved being busy. It made me feel like I had a purpose. I didn’t want to sit around and ‘rest’. Resting allowed for too much thinking time, and thinking was something I didn’t feel like doing.

It was a Wednesday afternoon when everything changed. It had started out as a normal day. I’d gone to work, done my usual six hours, and come home to do some laundry and start dinner. Harper called me as soon as I walked in the door and set my keys down.

“Hey, what’s up?” I said picking up a pair of shoes that had been left in the middle of the floor. I forgot all about them when she spoke.

“Don’t panic okay? I just got a phone call from Kyler, and apparently he’s in town for the next couple of days. I wasn’t expecting him until next week. I’m going to show him some places today and go to dinner tonight.” She was right, I was panicking.

“You’re not coming by here are you?” My breathing coming out in short bursts.

“No, don’t worry about that. I figured we could stop by that new Mexican place in town and then I’d drop him back at his parent’s house. Besides, can’t let the bastard think he is going to get laid.” She laughed, probably to try and calm my nerves.

I sat down on the couch, and hugged my growing mid-section. “He can’t find out Harper. I don’t want him running back to Finn, and telling him about this.”

“Sweetie, it’s okay. I’ll keep him away from the house.”

“Promise?”

“Of course I promise! Now don’t get yourself worked up. I’ll be home this evening. Why don’t you order a pizza or something and kick back until I get in.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” I started to relax. “Text me if you’re going to be in late.”

“I won’t be, but okay.”

We said our goodbyes and I sat on the couch with my face in my hands, the pair of shoes from earlier on the floor beside me. I knew that this wasn’t something I could keep from Kyler and Finn forever, and at this point I wasn’t hoping for much beyond getting through the pregnancy and coming out on the other end with a happy and healthy baby. Once again I was faced with a situation that was out of my control. Harper knew what she had to do in order to keep Kyler from seeing me and I trusted that she would keep her word. I could only control my own actions so for tonight I would sit, relax, and watch one of my favorite movies. Harper was right about something else too… pizza did sound good.

For the next few hours I went about my plans as usual. I did some laundry and vacuumed the floors. I found it odd that the simplest and most mundane of household tasks gave me such pleasure. When I lived with West, we had a housekeeper. He didn’t like me doing the job that could pay someone else to do. No wonder I was always bored. When the house was cleaned, I changed in to an overly large pair of gray sweats and a white camisole and ordered an extra large supreme pizza. I found ‘The Notebook’, popped it in and let it run through the opening credits while I went to the bathroom and put my hair up in a messy ponytail. As I was walking back into the living room the door bell rang. I grabbed my wallet and pulled out a twenty dollar bill. I was starving and ready to gorge myself on wonderfully greasy, boxed food. But when I opened the door I wasn’t greeted by a teenage delivery boy. Instead Kyler was standing in front of me dressed in a pair of rugged jeans, a blue Henley and holding a bouquet of daisies—Harper’s favorite flowers. He was smiling and was about to say hi when his eyes wandered down to my visibly pregnant belly. He was as still and as I was and both of us were unable to speak.

He finally moved, and started to walk into the house towards me. I backed up, giving my head a slight shake back and forth. I was confused as to why he was even there, because he was supposed to be with Harper. How could she ask him to come over to the house knowing that I was here? When I’d backed all the way up into the living room, Kyler spoke.

“What the hell is going on Emilyn?” He rarely ever used my full name when talking to me so I knew he was shocked, and likely didn’t know how to process what he saw.

“I-I thought…” I cleared my throat. “I thought you and Harper were going out to eat?” I knew changing the subject wouldn’t do a damn bit of good but I tried anyway. Kyler’s face had a hard edge to it as he looked from my face to my stomach.

“Huh uh Em, no diverting me like you’ve been avoiding Finn for the past two months.” He was still holding the bouquet as he used it to point at my mid-section. “Is this why you’ve been avoiding him?”

Tears pricked my eyes. “I haven’t been avoiding him. I’ve just been trying to deal with things on my own.”

He set the flowers down on the sofa table behind the couch. After pacing back and forth for a short while, Kyler stilled in front of me and pointed to the couch. “Sit.” A one word command that I obeyed, simply because I didn’t know what else to do with myself. He continued to pace, running his hands through his already unruly hair. He stopped in front of me with an angry look on his face. “I’m assuming that the baby is West’s?”

Jesus! What was it with people assuming it could be anybody else’s? It’s not like he knew that West and I were getting a divorce, so what kind of question was that?

Unless…

I was going to fucking kill her!

Now it was my turn to be pissed off. “Harper told you, didn’t she?”

“Told me what?”

“Oh cut the crap Ky! She told you about me and West didn’t she?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Bullshit!” I got up and started pacing in the same tracks that he just walked. “You better tell me right now Kyler Lewis, or so help me I will hurt you!”

That must have amused him because he was clearly trying not to laugh. He had a stupid look on his face that I just wanted to slap right off of him. “What? You don’t think I can?”

“Oh come on Shorty. You’re barely bigger than a five year old, and you’re pregnant. You think you can hurt me?” His shoulders shook with the laughter he was still trying to contain.

“You know what, if I wasn’t so pissed off at Harper, I’d tell her to hurt you, since you think I can’t.”

With that, his face went from trying not to crack a smile, to frowning. “That’s not funny Em. Don’t even joke about that shit.”

“Yeah well lucky for you, I don’t even know if I can talk to her right now.” It should have been funny to see Ky shaking in his boots from the idea of Harper getting her hands on him, but I was too upset to care. She was my best friend and she betrayed me. I had to find out what the hell was going on. I needed to know why she told Kyler about my divorce, and why he was here at the house after we agreed she wouldn’t let him come over. Picking up my cell, I dialed her number.

“What are you doing? Are you calling Harper?” He was scared.

I put my finger to my lips to shush him. She answered, “Hey Em! Enjoying your night alone?”

“I can’t believe you told Kyler about me and West! Seriously Harper?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh my god! Would everybody quit lying to me?” My frustration levels hit a new high.

“Okay, I may have told Kyler about the divorce, but I can explain. I promise I’ll tell you all about it when I get home. He is supposed to come and pick me up in a few minutes and I have a contract I have to fax before I leave. But I promise he has no idea about the pregnancy.” I could hear in her voice that she wanted to talk to me about it.

“Don’t worry about it. He already knows.”

“What do you mean he already knows? Wait…how did you know he knew about the divorce?” Her curiosity emanated through the phone.

I glared over at a very silent Kyler sitting on the couch, cupping his balls as if Harper could come through the phone and kick him. “Kyler is here right now Harper. He is sitting on the couch about to divulge everything he knows.” He had his cell phone in his other hand, and I quietly worried if he was texting Finn about what was going on. He glanced up at me with a stern expression.

Talking more to herself than to me, Harper ranted, “Stupid bastard… never listens to instructions. I’m on my way home. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes, and I promise I will explain everything! Just don’t be mad at me!” I sensed that she wanted to stay on the phone to plead with me, but I needed to hang up the phone and deal with Kyler before she got back.

“We’ll be here.”

I hung up and took a seat on the couch. I set my phone down on the coffee table and leaned back, unconsciously putting my hand on my stomach. Ky sat and watched me. Sitting back up I met his eyes and decided it was best I told him everything.

“Alright, listen. Clearly Harper told you I’m in the middle of a divorce. I went home after the reunion and I found West in bed with our interior decorator. I came back home and was served with divorce papers not long after I left Chicago. I went to get tested since I had no clue where that bitch–or West for that matter—had been.” Kyler was listening intently and I felt the sadness creeping back in. “Low and behold…” I looked down at my baby bump.

Kyler leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. “This is a whole lotta fucked up Em.” He turned his head away facing the rest of the living room. “How did West take the news? Is he taking care of you?”

A tear rolled down my cheek and I wiped it away. “He didn’t take it so well. He told me before I left that he didn’t love me and he’d never wanted to have kids with me. Naturally, he believes I did this on purpose to get more from him.” More tears fell. “But I don’t want anything from him. I’m just scared he’s going to try to take my baby away from me.”

His head shot my way, “Not going to happen. I’m not going to let that douchebag take anything, and neither will Finn.”

“No! Oh god… please don’t tell him about this Ky? Please, I’m begging you!”

He exhaled loudly. “Finn already knows about the divorce Em.” Of course he would. If Harper told Kyler, then obviously he would’ve told Finn. God, what a mess! “And I can’t keep this from him. He’s my best friend and he’d want to know. I get that you want to do this on your own, but I think he deserves to know.”

I was exasperated. “What do you mean he deserves to know? He doesn’t deserve to know anything!”

“He still cares about you. You know that right?”

“Listen, I know Finn probably feels guilty for leaving me the way he did and—in some sort of messed up way—he did try to make it up to me at the reunion. He should never have kissed me, but it’s done and I can’t change that. But this is my life and my problem Ky. Finn stopped deserving to know things a long time ago.”

He shook his head at me. “You don’t get it do you Em? Yes, I’m sure he still feels guilty about how things ended between you two, but guilt wasn’t what fueled him to do what he did at the reunion. He misses you. I’ve been living with that bastard for over ten years now and I can tell you he’s been miserable to be around. I think he knows it’s you that’s missing from his life.”

My slightly weepy eyes were quickly becoming full on water works. “Can I tell you something?”

“Always.” He reached over and grabbed my hand.

“I never loved Weston like I did Finn. I think that was a once in a lifetime feeling, you know?” I was looking down at our joined hands.

“I know hon.”

The front door opened and shut and I heard Harper setting her keys on the entry table. “Emilyn?”

“In here!” I yelled back.

She came walking in and a distraught look on her face. Her eyes told me how sorry she was. I stood up from the couch and walked over to her for a hug. “I’m so sorry Em. I didn’t mean to tell your secret. I just wanted to help you.” She was saying into my ear.

I desperately wanted to be mad at her, but the hugging, the look she’d given me when she walked in the door, and the conversation I’d just had with Ky, meant I couldn’t. Harper was my support. She was my best friend and had been my rock through this mess. And mostly, I knew why she’d told Kyler.

I pulled back slightly, “I know. And it’s okay, I forgive you. I guess I couldn’t have kept it all secret forever.” I sniffled, and released her with a small smile.

She smiled back at me then seemed to remember there was someone else in the room. Turning and facing Ky, she pointed her finger at him and her face was livid. “You!”

Kyler’s eyes got wide. “Me?”

“You little bastard, I told you to meet me at the office. What the fuck are you doing here?” She slowly advanced toward him.

“Now, take it easy Harper, I was just bringing you flowers. I must have forgotten you wanted to meet somewhere else.” He gulped loudly and got up from the couch, only to move gingerly around to the other side of it.

“You forgot?” She laughed like a crazy woman. “You forgot!?” Now up against the front of the couch directly in front of Kyler, all it would take was one quick leap and she’d be on the other side.

I thought about stepping in, but I was ashamed to admit that I found the whole thing entertaining. It reminded me of high school. I snapped out of my daydream when I heard Kyler scream like a girl. “Owwww! Damn it Harper!” She had a hold of his nipples, and it was apparent that she’d given them a really good twist.

“Why do you never listen to me? I was very specific Mr. Lewis. Are you fond of your nipples?” She gave a little more twist.

He whimpered, “Oh Jesus, yes I like them very much.” He was almost on his knees in front of her.

“Harper, let him go. He was just trying to be nice.” I laughed as I said the words. Poor Ky, the nipple pinching looked so painful it made my own hurt.

“Yeah, I was just trying to be nice.” He stammered out. “See, your flowers are over there.” He pointed to the table beside her.

“Fine.” She released him and reached for the bouquet. “These are really pretty. Thank you.”

He knelt on the floor, rubbing his chest trying to relieve the tenderness, but I was sure they wouldn’t feel better for a while. He glared up at her. “Are you bipolar?”

She looked at him confused. “No, why?”

I laughed and Kyler just shook his head, standing back up.

That’s when I realized my pizza still wasn’t there. “When the hell is that delivery boy going to get here? I’m hungry!”

Harper had gone in to the kitchen to get a vase for her flowers and walked back in to the living room holding the pizza box. “Hmmm…wonder if the kid heard the screaming, little girly man over here did,” she was pointed her thumb over to Ky. “This was sitting on the front porch. Awesome, we didn’t even have to pay for it.” She shrugged her shoulders. Kyler mumbled something under his breath about her being psychotic. “Why don’t we just eat here? I can pull up the listings from my computer, and we’ll make a list of the ones you want to see tomorrow.”

“Pizza does sound good.” He came and sat on the couch.

I went into the kitchen to grab some napkins and plates and before sitting down to eat. I handed Harper the phone and picked up the box.

“What’s the phone for?” Her face confused.

“So you can order you two some pizza. This bitch is mine and I’m not sharing.” And with that, I took a big bite out of a slice.

I was fast asleep with music suddenly started playing next to my head. Why the hell was Barbie Girl playing on my phone? I looked at my clock and picked up my phone. It was one in the morning. My screen said it was Kyler calling. Rolling over on my back and answered. “Did you change my ringtone before you left?”

He started laughing hysterically on the other end. “Oh man, I forgot about that. Some funny shit right there!”

“Yeah real funny.” I grunted into the phone. “Why are you calling me? Did you forget what time it was?” If he was drunk dialing me, I was throwing him out.

“I’m calling because I just got home from Harper and Em’s house.”

Now wide awake, he had my full attention. I turned on the bedside light and sat up against the headboard. “How is she? Does she look okay?” Not that I wanted my best friend checking her out but I needed to know how she was.

“Well that’s what I’m calling about, man. I think you need to fly out here as soon as you can.”

Now he had me concerned. “Quit being a fucking girl and beating around the bush. What’s going on?”

“Listen, I really don’t think it’s something that I should tell you over the phone, plus she begged me to not say anything. Just do yourself a favor and get on the next flight out here. She needs you right now whether she wants to admit it or not.”

“Does this have anything to do with why she’s been avoiding me?” I got out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans that were lying on the floor. I grabbed a suitcase out of the closet and threw random shit in it. I felt nervous. Was she sick? Had she spiraled back to the same place she’d been in after I’d left her?

“Yeah, it is. Look man, I’m not going to tell you anything else. I’m sorry for being so tight lipped, but I don’t want to betray her, and I really enjoy my nipples. Just come and see her for yourself.” He was really trying to be a good friend but was clearly torn in his loyalty. I wasn’t even going to ask about his nipples.

“I’m packing right now.” I went into the bathroom to grab my toiletry bag. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Do you need me to pick you up at the airport?”

“Nah. I’ll get a rental.”

We hung up and I finished packing my bag. I didn’t know what the hell was going on but I guessed I was about to find out. Emilyn had been putting me off for a couple of months now and I would finally get a chance to talk to her. Well, that’s if she let me talk to her. Would I even give her the opportunity to walk away? It’s not like she was with her husband anymore. I could understand her needing time to get passed something like a divorce, but Kyler said she needed me, even if she didn’t know it yet. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

So many different scenarios ran through my head as I made my way to the airport; ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous. What Emilyn obviously hadn’t realized was, no matter what was going on, I was here for her. Nothing could make me walk away again. I was hers. And it was time that I started to show her that.