Текст книги "Ever Enough"

Автор книги: Stacy Borel

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 15 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

Pacing and walking. It was all I could do at this point to not jump out of my skin. There was so much blood… blood that was still all over me. I hadn’t even washed my hands since setting foot in the emergency room. Emilyn had been back with the doctors for two hours so why in the hell hadn’t anyone been out to talk to me? Harper was sitting next to Kyler, gripping his hand like a lifeline while he rubbed her back and whispered in her ear. Richard and Tessa were in the next set of chairs, staring blankly ahead. Tears streamed down Tessa’s face. We were all here for Em. Looking at the four of them, I couldn’t help but think that at least they had each other. Richard and Tessa had each other to lean on and Ky would always be there for Harper. While I knew they would all be there for me, it was Em that I wanted. What would I do without her? I’d be a fucking shell of a man if something happened to her. Jesus Christ there was just so much blood.

Scrubbing my hands down my face I looked up at the sound of the double doors opening. Dr. Monroe came out and walked towards us. He had a white mask hanging from around his neck as if he’d been in surgery. His face was blank and I couldn’t read a single emotion. Harper and Ky came and stood to my left, Richard and Tessa came and stood at my right. Dr. Monroe stopped in front of us and let out a long breath.

“How is she?” Richard asked, his voice cracking.

“She lost a lot of blood, so we had to give her a transfusion.”

“Is she going to be okay?” Harper asked anxiously.

“She’s suffered a trauma, but she should recover from this just fine.”

I continued to watch him, reading his face with every word he said. He proceeded to tell us what he’d had to do to stop her bleeding, but I could tell he still hadn’t given us the news that we were all too scared to ask. I didn’t want her parents to have to ask the question, so I did it for them.

“Dr. Monroe, what about the baby?”

He cleared his throat. “Emilyn had what is called a placental abruption. That means that the placenta was separated from her uterine wall, causing her to lose the amount of blood that she did.” He looked down and then back up to meet my eyes. “When something like that happens, there is nothing that we can do. Without the placenta being attached, the baby has no way to survive without the blood source.”

“What are you saying?” I knew, but I wanted him to say it.

“She lost the baby Finley.”

Tessa gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. Richard leaned in and held his wife as she wept in his arms. Grief was written all over his face. Harper stood straight, tears glistening in her eyes but her stance said she was angry. Kyler was motionless, unsure what to do. I didn’t know how to feel.

“Does she know?” I asked.

“No. She was given a general anesthetic so we could operate and remove any remaining tissue from the pregnancy and search her uterus for additional tears.”

“Oh god. I think I’m going to be sick.” Harper suddenly said.

Kyler led her to a waste basket in the corner of the waiting room.

“The good news is we were able to clear everything out. She will make a full recovery, and she shouldn’t have any problem getting pregnant again.” Dr Monroe sounded hopeful but I was barely registering his words.

Emilyn had lost the baby. We’d just been shopping to fill the nursery with baby furniture. All she wanted was to be a mother, and now she’d lost the one thing that gave her joy and helped her through this mess that Weston had created. And she didn’t even fucking know.

“I know this might no help but sometimes knowing can help the grieving process. The baby… would you like to know the sex?”

“Yes.” Tessa sniffled and answered anxiously. “I want to know.”

Em didn’t want to know. She said that it was one of the many great surprises in life. Would it matter now? Maybe Dr. Monroe was right. He could tell us, and if she wanted to know, I’d tell her.

“It was a boy.”

Tessa broke down again, and this time Richard let out a strangled sob. A boy? Em felt so certain it was a girl. She would talk about the baby and refer to it as a girl all the time. This was a shock. Now that I knew, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to anymore. I ran my hands through my hair, yanking on the ends. I felt numb. Any pain was good at this point. I needed to feel something.

“Can we see her?” I asked.

“Of course. She’s resting right now but she should wake up soon. I can only allow two of you at a time since she’s in the ICU. I’ll be around the hospital for the rest of the evening if you have any questions, or if Emilyn needs anything.” Dr. Monroe nodded his head and started to walk away.

“Dr. Monroe?” I stopped him, and he turned to face me. I guided him out of hearing range of everyone else.

“Is there any explanation for why this happened?” I paused. “Like too much stress?”

“Honestly Finley, it could have been a number of things. But the likelihood that it was stress that caused this is slim. It was just something that wasn’t meant to be. That’ll be hard for her accept I know. Just make sure she gets plenty of rest, okay?” He put his hand on my shoulder, before turning to walk back through the double doors.

I decided to let everyone else see her before I did. I needed a few moments to collect myself. I didn’t know if she would be awake when I went in the room and part of me was hoping that she would wake before it was my turn, just so someone else could break the news to her. That was such a pussy thing to think. I should be the one to tell her. She was mine and I loved her. Why had I let her leave the sandwich shop? Why had I even let Val talk to Em? Who the fuck just shows up after I made it abundantly clear I didn’t want to be with them? She was certifiably crazy. Val had followed me out of the shop when I’d chased after my Tiny Girl. She caught up to me when I was on the ground holding a bleeding out Em. She panicked and said she should have never come. I’m not sure if it was the look on my face or the fact that I was screaming at her to leave me the fuck alone, but she turned away with tears in her eyes and left. I’d never spoken to a woman that way, but give me a break, I’d been holding the love of my life in my arms thinking she was dying.

I felt blame engulf me. Everything that had happened was a result of my actions. I was so fucking stupid. I should never have hidden anything from her. I thought I could deal with it on my own, and I didn’t want to give her a reason to doubt me. I had no idea what I would do, or how I would even begin to fix this, but I knew I needed her. I needed Emilyn like I needed air to breathe. I could never walk away from her again, and I was certainly never going to let her walk away from me again.

Emilyn’s parents had been in to see her and they’d both returned with red, swollen eyes. They said she was sleeping soundly. They were going to head home since there wasn’t much they could do. They knew she wouldn’t be alone since I’d made it clear that I wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon. Harper and Ky went in next and came out about thirty minutes later. Harper hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek.

“She’s still asleep. Other than being a little pale, she looks normal.” I hadn’t asked but I think she was just trying to reassure me before I went in the room.

“Come on babe. I’ll take you home.” Ky said to Harper. She let go of me and turned and tucked herself into Kyler’s side. They both walked out the door leaving me to go in alone.

I stood outside her door. My hands shook as I pushed it open and made my way inside. Em was lying on the bed with an IV running out of her arm. I’d expected to see tubes coming out of her, but there weren’t any. She lay there peacefully; her eyes closed. I walked over to her bed and sat down in the chair by her head. Leaning in, I kissed her cool skin. There in the quiet room, with only the subtle sound of a beep recording her pulse, I finally cried. I picked up her hand, holding it to my mouth and I openly wept. I knew she was going to be devastated when she woke. I was so scared to tell her that her son was gone.

I whispered softly over and over again, “I love you Em. You’re my Tiny Girl. Everything will be okay. As long as we are together, everything will be fine.”

My head was in a fog and my whole body felt achy. I wanted to move and yawn and stretch, but for some reason I couldn’t. Was I still sleeping? I lay there trying to get the rest of my body awake and moving. I heard a small sniffling sound right next to me. Then my hand moved. Who was that? I desperately tried to open my eyes but my lids felt so heavy.

“I love you Tiny Girl.”

It was Finn’s voice, so soft. What on earth was going on? I begged my eyes to open. Finn sounded so sad and I just wanted to comfort him. My fingers finally began to comply. I wiggled them, and he must have felt it.

“Em? Em honey, can you hear me?”

I made a slight groaning sound in the back of my throat. Forcing my lids open just a bit and blinking hard, they gradually allowed me to start opening them. Through half-closed eyes I was able to glance around the room. I saw stark white walls in front of me, and a TV hanging near the ceiling. Moving my head in the direction of the hand Finn was holding, I saw him. He looked at me expectantly. His eyes were red and puffy, as if he’d been crying.

“Oh thank god! You’re awake. Jesus Em, I’m so glad you are okay.”

He was speaking so fast. Or was I just that tired?

“Where am I?” My voice was hoarse.

“Are you thirsty? I can get you some water.” He stood up and moved to a rolling tray that had a pitcher and a glass next to it.

I nodded my head. My throat was very dry.

He came back to the bed and gave me the glass. I brought it to my lips and drank. The water was cold and stung the back of my throat, but after the initial shock subsided it felt good. I drank the whole glass down. He took it from me when I was done and sat down next to me. He took my hand again. I felt something on my finger. Looking at it, it was one of those pulse things they put on you in the hospital. What in the hell?

“Finn, where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital Em. Do you remember anything?”

“Hospital?” I tried to wrack my brain. “How did I get in the hospital?”

“Something’s happened Tiny Girl.” He shifted in his seat. “Damn it, I don’t even know how to tell you this.”

My heart kicked into high gear. “What the hell is going on Finley?” When I started to move a sharp pain hit me in my lower stomach and I winced.

“Please don’t move to much Em, you’ll hurt yourself.”

That’s when all of the memories began flooding through me. Furniture shopping, feeling content and happy, the sandwich shop, Val showing up… oh no! I flung the covers off the lower half of my body.

Flat. My stomach was flat.

My eyes were huge and I looked at Finn. “Why is my stomach flat? Where’s my baby?”

He didn’t say anything. He just sat there unable to tell me what I knew in my heart had happened.

Tears flowed down my face. “What happened to my baby Finley?”

He cleared his throat.

I felt my anger rising because he hadn’t responded, so I took a deep breath and calmed myself. Looking him straight in his deep blue eyes I used a tone that he couldn’t ignore.

“What the hell are you not telling me? I want to know where my baby is, and I swear to god, if you don’t tell me right now I’m going to call someone in here that can.”

“Stay calm honey, concentrate on your breathing… in and out… you’re okay… it’s all going to be okay.” He scooted his chair closer. “When you left the sandwich shop you went down the road. By the time I caught up with you, you were already bleeding and had fallen to the ground. I caught you just before your head hit the sidewalk.” He took a deep shaky breath. “And… oh god Em, I tried to get you here as fast as I possibly could. I really did. I didn’t know what was happening. You were passed out and there was so much blood everywhere! I thought I was going to lose you.”

“Something has happened to my baby, hasn’t it?”

He nodded. A strangled noise came from my mouth.

“Dr. Monroe was here with you. He came and told us that you lost it. I’m so sorry Em. The baby’s gone. He said that he was able to fix everything and you’ll still be able to have children. I know that doesn’t make this better, but he wanted you to know.”

There was no conceivable way to wrap my mind around it. This couldn’t be happening. I wasn’t pregnant?

“How?”

“It was something called a placental abruption. The placenta tore away from where it was attached. They tried to save the baby, but you were still too early and the baby was underdeveloped.”

It was as if a light went off in me.

“Did they tell you what it was? The sex?”

He nodded again. “Dr. Monroe said it was a boy.”

“No… no… no!” I started to say louder and louder.

How had this happened? I was fine, healthy even. A little boy? I’d never considered it could have been a boy. I was so certain it was a girl. My intuition was wrong. Just like my intuition about Finn telling me the truth had been wrong. What had I been thinking, letting him back in my life again?

He reached to touch my face, but I turned away.

“Don’t.” I said coldly.

He was confused. “Em, what’s the matter?”

When Finn left me that night, I had been broken. The feeling of losing my first love was devastating. Walking in on my husband fucking the interior decorator was bad. It hurt, but in a way that sealed the idea that I was clearly unable to hold on to something. Finding out that Finn lied to me and hidden things from me after we said we’d be honest with each other was crushing. But this… losing the last thing that I’d felt was mine? A high school break-up, divorce, starting over… none of it was as devastating as this. This shattered my heart in a way that I knew I was never going to be the same again.

This baby was something good that had come from something bad. It represented a new start for me. And now it was gone. My son was gone, and so was whatever had been left of my heart. I didn’t know what broken was until I felt this kind of pain.

“Get out.” I suddenly stopped crying and wiped away the stray tears left on my face.

Finn looked like I’d slapped him across the face.

“Emilyn please!”

I turned my face toward the door no longer able to look at him.

“I don’t want you here, get out please.”

“Not gonna happen Tiny Girl, we’re talking about this.”

“You either get out, or I’ll have you removed.”

Out of my peripheral vision I could see him stare at me, shocked. He didn’t know what to do.

“Em…” He tried pleading again.

“Now Finley! Get out!” I nearly screamed at him, grabbing the plastic cup I’d just drank from and throwing it at him.

He dodged it, then slowly stood up from his chair and moved towards the door. With his hand on the handle he turned to face me again. Trying to keep the emotion off of his face his eyes met mine. In a bold and certain voice he spoke to me before he left.

“This right here,” he pointed between himself and me, “This isn’t done. I’m leaving because you want me too. But I’ll be back tomorrow Emilyn. I’m sorry that this is happening and I’m here for you. I’m only a phone call away and I’ll be here in the blink of an eye. You’re not going to get rid of me. Remember that you’re mine, and we will get through this. I love you with every fiber in my soul, and if I have to love you enough for the both of us, for however long it takes, I will.”

He walked out the door and shut it behind him. I lay there, unmoving, in a state of total and utter shock. My life was over. I wanted my son back. I wanted to know why this was happening to me. I had no idea what I was going to do now, but at that very moment, a nurse walked in to check on me. She gave me a shot of something that made me sleepy, so I guess the ‘what I was going to do now’ question was answered, because minutes later I fell into a deep empty slumber.

I hadn’t lived my life with regrets. I picked myself up, moved forward and took each twist and turn as a learning experience. That hasn’t been the case with Em. With her I’d had moments of wanting to relive my time, just to feel her again. But reliving your past just to experience it again and regretting your past because of a shitty mistake you’d made were two very different things. If I could take back the last forty-eight hours of my life, I would. I didn’t know how I was going to fix this mess. I kept replaying what had happened at the hospital, and the look on her face as I told her the baby was gone wouldn’t leave my mind. It would forever be burned into my brain. The many emotions that flickered through those blue eyes said a hundred things before she was gone. And I don’t mean like picking up and just leaving me. I mean the life that was in those eyes—that spark—it was gone. I saw confusion, denial, sadness, anger, and then… nothing—all within a matter of seconds. It was like she wasn’t in there anymore. I would gladly hand over my own life if it meant she’d give me any one of those emotions. Shit, give me pissed off at the world, want to go blow something up, castrate me anger. Anything!

I didn’t go far that night. I walked out of her hospital room and set up camp in the waiting room down the hall. I’d told her I would be there for her, and I would be. Whatever it took. Sitting in the most obnoxiously lumpy chairs, I cursed the administrative staff that thought these were acceptable accommodations. Granted, they probably didn’t expect someone to try to sleep in them for two days straight. Either way, I was still sending some hate mail to somebody.

I was sat, leaning forwards with my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands when Kyler and Harper came in together. Harper stopped when I looked up at her and she cursed under her breath. Ky leaned down and whispered in her ear. She nodded and then turned to head down the hall to Em’s room. Ky came over to sit next to me.

“Has she let you in to see her?”

“No.” My voice sounded odd to my own ears.

“Has the doctor told you when she can come home?”

“He told her parents that she could go home this evening. Her Dad relayed the message to me when he was here earlier. Apparently Em told Dr. Monroe that I wasn’t to be given any more information.”

He sucked in a breath. “Ouch man. I’m sorry.”

I just nodded in response and dipped my head back down.

“Did she tell Richard if she was coming back home to your place?”

I shook my head. “No.”

We sat in silence for five minutes before Ky slapped my back and stood up. “When was the last time you had something to eat, or got any sleep?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Two days ago I guess, but I’ve dozed off now and then.”

“Well there’s not a whole lot going on right now, so why don’t you take a walk with me down to the cafeteria and we’ll get a coffee and a bite to eat.”

I was going to say I was fine, but Ky gave me a look that said he would toss my raggedy ass over his shoulder and march me down there if he had to. I didn’t have it in me to argue with him. Getting up from my chair, I stretched. My muscles ached worse than if I’d just done a hardcore workout.

“Good boy.” He patted me on the head like a puppy.

I shook him off. “Ass.” He chuckled.

Walking past the nurses’ station I overheard a man asking for Emilyn and I stopped dead in my tracks. Turning around, I took him in. He was a tall, brown haired man, dressed in a suit and expensive shoes. The nurse asked who he was and he told them that his name was Weston and he was her husband. The nurse said that Ms. Tucker hadn’t listed a husband on her medical chart, but she’d gladly call down to her room to see if she was available for any visitors. When she hung up the phone she told him the room number and pointed in the direction of Em’s room. He walked past Kyler and me, tipping his head in a nod as he walked by.

I saw red.

What the fuck was that little pencil-dick doing here? He wasn’t her husband anymore. Better yet, if the nurse called down to Em, why had she said that it was okay for him to see her, when she wouldn’t even let me in the room? I followed him down the hall. Ky wasn’t too far behind me. Weston reached Em’s room, stopped and knocked. I heard her voice through the door telling him to come in. Swallowing hard and wondering what was going to happen I crept closer to the door that he’d left slightly ajar, but stayed off to the side and out of view.

“Hello Emilyn.” His voice was cool—probably his lawyer voice that he used with his clients.

“What are you doing here West?” She didn’t even sound like herself.

“That’s a good fucking question. What are you doing here asshat?” Harper’s voice was venomous.

“Asshat?” Ky whispered behind me. “What the fuck? That’s my name.”

“Shut up Ky.” I said quietly.

“I got a phone call while I was in the office yesterday. A woman named Aubrey contacted my secretary to let me know you were in the hospital and had lost the baby.”

“That mother fucking hairy cunt ass Cheeto! I’m going to kill her!” Harper spat, her voice carrying down the hall. A few nurses wandering the halls stopped to look down at us.

Kyler chuckled by my side. Of course the love-struck idiot would think that was cute. I tensed at the news. How in the world had Aubrey of all people heard? I’d forgotten how fast news spreads in a small town. Someone had probably seen us waiting for the ambulance and Em bleeding. I’d known Aubrey didn’t care for Em, but the fact that she felt the need to lash out and call West in Chicago? That was crossing a line. If Harper didn’t get a hold of her before me, there would be hell to pay for this one.

“Harper, enough.” Em was too calm, and it made me uneasy.

“It would appear that the information relayed was correct.” The asshole was so formal.

“Yes. I lost our son.”

There was a short period of silence.

“You know that it was a boy?”

“That’s what I was told.” She was so cold in the way she spoke about it. Detached and distant.

“Hmmm, I see. Were you planning on telling me about this?”

“It just fucking happened. And pardon me that you aren’t the first phone call on her list of people that needed to know. I’m pretty sure you lost that right when you stuck your dick in that whore of an interior decorator!” Harper yelled.

“I don’t believe I was talking to you, Harpy. If you would take your crude mouth and leave, I’d like to have a talk with Emilyn.”

“I’m going to give you two seconds to run before I…”

Harper couldn’t finish that sentence because Kyler plowed past me and went into the room. I followed behind him and saw that he already across the room moving Harper out of the way and getting up in West’s face. I’ll give the guy credit, because he didn’t flinch or back down. Shocking since I always thought West would be some pansy lawyer that sat in his high-rise behind his desk, never getting his hands dirty. Well that, and Kyler was a big mother fucker. Not as big as me, but certainly intimidating.

“You might want to watch the way you’re talking to my girl here.”

Harper gasped. “Your girl?” She asked in shock at hearing this news.

Ky made a quick glance over his shoulder. “Quiet woman, we’ll talk later.”

West cleared his throat. “If you two are done with your little domestic dispute, I’m trying to have a civilized conversation here.”

“I’m about to shove my civilized foot up your ass!” Ky’s tone was clipped.

“Enough.” Em said from the bed. “Back off Kyler. Down Harper.” Then her attention turned to me. “What are you doing in here Finn? You’re not welcome.”

Okay that one stung and I winced. I watched as the realization of who I was spread across West’s face.

“Finn? As in ‘high school Finn’? The one that left you high and dry after graduation?”

“Yes, the one and only.” She clipped.

West chuckled. It grated my nerves like they were being pulled across a micro-grater.

“Why is he here?”

She looked at me. “I don’t know.”

“I’m with her, dick.” I gritted through my teeth.

“No you’re not.” She said with cold empty eyes.

“You just couldn’t stand being alone, could you Emilyn?” West asked.

“About as much as you felt the need to have two women at your beck and call, Weston.” She enunciated his name.

I couldn’t help the smirk on my face.

“Fair enough.” His tone was dismissive, like what she said didn’t matter to him. “Let’s talk business. I came here because I want you to sign these papers stating that I am no longer required to pay you any form of child support. In addition, any support that I have paid you thus far shall be returned to me in full.”

My jaw hit the floor. He actually came all the way out here to tell her that he wanted his money back? She’d just lost their baby and he was acting like none of that mattered. I felt Ky move up behind me. My blood was boiling and my fists balled at my sides.

“Fine.” And just like that, she gave in to him.

“What? Em, no. He doesn’t get to come in here demanding that you sign papers. He’s treating you like a court case. You just lost your baby!” I felt myself getting more and more frustrated at her lack of emotion.

“Isn’t that what this is? I lost the baby, and he’s doing what he feels is necessary.” She said.

“Jesus Emilyn, snap out of it! You’re acting like you don’t even care.”

“Finn…” Harper scolded.

I turned to look at her and she shook her head, silently telling me to drop it. Christ, I needed to hit something.

“Look, I don’t have all day, so if you could sign where I put the tabs I can leave.” West pulled out a small folder of papers from a briefcase I hadn’t noticed he had been carrying.

Ah, that’s just what I was looking for. I cocked my fist and brought it forward with the full force of my body. My knuckles normally would be aching after hitting something that hard but the anger-fueled adrenaline coursing through me was had made me numb. I was sure I’d feel it later though. West on the other hand, he’d be feeling my fist for at least a week. He fell backwards and slammed into the wall. I darted forward and was about to straddle him and continue my assault when a strong arm locked around my shoulders and pulled me back. Ky was using everything he had to hold me in place. I was vaguely aware of the commotion going on behind me, but I was focused on the now cowering prick in front of me.

“Finn, man stop! Relax dude.” Ky was speaking lowly close to my ear.

“You son of a bitch. I’m going to sue your sorry ass for this!” West struggled to get to his feet. He spat blood on the ground and wiped his face with the back of his hand.

“I suggest you leave before you get it even worse than you’ve already had it dickhead.” I had half a mind to choke him. “Send the fucking papers to her lawyer. Now get… the fuck… OUT.”

“This isn’t the last you’ll hear from me. I hope you have damn good representation.” West glared at me and turned to walk out the door.

Before he was fully out in the hall he called over his shoulder, “Julia will be glad that this whole mess is over and done with. I’ll be sure to tell her you said hi Emilyn.” With that he walked away.

Kyler had to catch Harper around the waist because she was on her way out the door, likely to kill the bastard. I watched Em as those hateful words were said. She flinched, but quickly regained her composure.

“I want you all to leave.” Em spoke quietly.

Harper sighed and walked to the bed. She leaned down to hug her and said something in her ear. Em nodded. Ky took a hold of Harper’s hand and led her out of the room.

“You too Finn.”

“Talk to me Tiny Girl. What is going on in your head right now?”

For a second she looked as though she was about to say something to me but, as quickly as the look appeared, it was gone.

She shook her head, “I’m just tired right now. This was all too much.”

And she did look tired. I wanted nothing more than to take her home and tuck her up in bed—in our bed—and hold her tight to me.

I walked over and sat down next to her. I debated whether or not to take her hand, but thought better of it. I would just be happy with her allowing me to sit next to her, since I hadn’t even been allowed in the room for two days.

“Do you want to talk about what just happened?”

“I don’t think there is anything to talk about.”

“Em, you have to feel something about what West just said to you. You’re acting as if…” She interrupted me.

“I’m acting as if what?”

“As if you don’t care. Like none of this matters. I know you have to be feeling something about this Tiny Girl. Nobody just loses their baby and then doesn’t feel anything. Please, just talk to me.”

Fuck it.

I grabbed her hand and held it tight. I had no idea what to do about this situation, other than to plead with her. Nobody could just shut off their feelings.

“I do care Finn.” She took a deep shaky breath. “It care so much that I feel like I can’t breathe.” I was about to say something, when she continued. “This wasn’t supposed to be my life. You know? No little girl grows up predicting something like this will happen to her. I never wanted to get married to a man that would speak to me the way that Weston just did. I never wanted to get pregnant and then lose my baby. I just keep sitting here playing it out in my head, trying to figure out where it all went wrong. You want to know where I keep coming back to? You Finn. I keep coming back to you. I was happy when I was with you. My life was going exactly where I wanted it to. But then you left me.” She looked down at our joined hands and then released me. “My life has gone to shit since you left. And you know what? It’s still shit with you in it. If you’d stayed with me, I would have never met West. If you would have stayed with me, I would have never gotten pregnant.”

She was ripping me in two, and I sat there taking it all because I knew I deserved it. She was finally letting me have it all.

“I blame you Finn. None of this would be happening to me if it weren’t for you.”

And there it was. She had gutted me. The sad thing was that it was the truth. Everything she’d just said was exactly what I had felt since I set eyes on her at the reunion. Everything that had happened with Val and West was just the icing on the shitty cake called her life.

“I’ll never be able to tell you just how sorry I am because sorry will never be enough. I know it may not seem like it right now, but we will get through this together. I told you before that I’ll hold you together for as long as it takes. Just stay with me. Let me be with you Tiny Girl. I love you.”