Текст книги "One and Done"

Автор книги: S. Briones Lim

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 4 (всего у книги 16 страниц)

Chapter 5

Rocky was right. Everything did work out. In the month that led up to homecoming, Stephanie and Daniel started dating and Rocky and I continued our afterschool art sessions. There was nothing I looked forward to more than sitting in that beat-up desk chair and allowing Rocky’s eyes to travel over me. That one moment a day trumped every shitty thing in my life. I could look past my mother’s insults, her lack of love, and reminders that I sucked as a person. I could ignore the fact that my dad hadn’t called or checked up on me in weeks. I could also ignore the fact that my self-imposed rule to “stay away” was an outright failure because hell, I deserved some semblance of happiness too, right? The intimacy of sitting in a dim, silent room pushed any reservations I had aside. Why couldn’t Rocky and I get together? Would we really be doomed if I decided to ask her out?

“Why’d you ask me to homecoming?” Rocky didn’t look up and kept her gaze locked onto her work.

I didn’t really mean to.

I blinked in surprise as if caught with my hand down in the cookie jar. “Huh? What do you mean?”

“Why’d you ask me out?” she repeated.

“Oh, that clarifies it.” I snickered.

“Jesse.”

How could I tell her that it was a misunderstanding, though one I was really thankful for?

“I…uh…”

“Jesse!” Mom screamed.

Oh thank God! For once in my life I was actually relieved to see my mother. The door burst open, revealing the fuming woman. Her chest rose and fell, and despite the anger flaring in her eyes she looked as if she were on the verge of tears. With trembling fingers, she held out the house phone toward me. “Your father wants to speak with you.”

I froze.

“Um, I think I should go.” Without waiting for a reply, Rocky practically sprinted out of my room. I couldn’t really blame her. Mom looked as if she was ready to throw objects.

Anxiety’s cold fingers wrapped themselves around my heart. A cool rush of icy fear ran up and down my veins. Mom stayed put, watching my every move, and I knew whatever Dad had to say must have been pretty important. Not to mention bad.

“Can I get some privacy?” I practically yelped out.

To my surprise—and utter relief—Mom retreated without another word, leaving me staring at the crusty old cordless phone in my hand. There were old pieces of food caked onto the receiver, and though that alone should have disgusted me, I suddenly felt numb. Hesitantly, I lifted the phone to my ear. “Hello?”

“Jesse.” I don’t know what I expected his voice to sound like. Maybe different? Older? The fact that it sounded exactly the same as my memories did more to jar me than anything.

“What do you want?” I asked bluntly.

“Son—”

“Please don’t call me that.”

There was a slight pause, followed by an uncomfortable cough. “Jesse, I…am getting remarried. I wanted you to hear it from me, and I also wanted to ask you to be my best man.”

I felt as if I was gutted, though I didn’t know why I reacted that way. I wasn’t stupid. I hadn’t held onto the fallacy that my parents would somehow get back together. I was all for believing the unbelievable, but that hope was just too much to even entertain. Still, hearing that your dad was starting a life away from you was nothing less than a blow to the ego and to the heart.

“Jesse?” This time his voice sounded hesitant, which definitely wasn’t a familiar sound to my ear.

“I…I have to go.”

“Jesse, please don’t be like this.”

“Like what? Someone who abandons someone else in need? Funny, I think we know somebody else like that.”

“Jesse.”

“Bye.”

My phone rang again that night. Not once, but four times. It wasn’t my father who called; it was Rocky checking up on me. Though I knew hearing from her would make me feel better, I also knew my resolve would crack and decided not to answer her calls. I wasn’t strong enough to keep fighting my feelings off, but now more than ever, I knew I had to. My father made that decision for me when he reminded me of my broken family. I’d never get Rocky into all that.

Chapter 6

The sun shone a deep orange the next morning, covered by low lying thin grey clouds. I stepped out onto my porch, surprised to find Rocky curled up against the porch post, her sleepy face greeting me hesitantly. The sun had just risen an hour before and I had no idea how long she’d been waiting, but judging by the rosiness of her cheeks, she must have been sitting in the cold for a while.

“Hey, I tried calling last night.” Rocky stood up slowly, eyeing me with pity. “Um…are you okay?”

Pity. Ugh.

I shrugged nonchalantly. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know.”

“What are you doing here, anyway?”

“Checking on you.” Her mouth puckered into a pout. “You didn’t answer any of my calls. You never ignore my calls…I thought something bad happened to you.”

“I was busy.” Gripping my binder, I pressed it against my chest as if it were a shield and pushed past her. Suddenly I realized there was no way I’d be able to survive school that day, not with the thought of my dad marrying a stranger looming in my mind. I did an abrupt about face and walked toward the opposite side of the street.

“Where are you going?” Rocky demanded. Swift footsteps echoed behind me, and before long her tiny figure appeared in my periphery. Her breaths quickened, fogging the air around her.

Rolling my eyes, I pointed behind me. “Leave.”

She groaned. “Seriously, Jesse? You can’t expect to skip and not get in trouble again.”

“I’m not expecting anything.” I stopped expecting things a very long time ago.

Her eyebrow arched. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That’s what I do best, right? Not thinking? Not giving a shit? Why should I care about what happens to me? Doesn’t seem like anybody else does.”

Her jaw tightened. “What about homecoming?”

I nearly stopped in my tracks. She was right. If I got caught, any plans of spending the night with her would be completely nixed. Oh, who was I kidding? It was never going to happen for us anyway. Why keep up with the charade? Forcing my face to remain neutral, I snapped, “I was stupid to think I could be like everybody else for one night. I never wanted to go to the dance, anyway.”

Rocky looked as if she had been punched in the gut. “Are you seriously going to be like this?”

“Like myself? Yeah.” I was too far gone to come back.

“Fine, I guess I’ll just have to make sure we won’t get caught.”

“We?” I gaped. “What makes you think you’re going with me?”

“Don’t I always?” she snapped.

I pressed my lips together for a moment and shook my head. “If you really want to help me out, then I need you to leave me alone.”

Please.

“Well, that’s not going to happen.”

Of course not.

Her arms tightened around her breasts, and despite my current state of mind I couldn’t help but admire the way they plumped against her knitted collar. Hormones and loneliness were a lethal combination.

Knowing I had lost the good fight, I sighed. “You’re right. So where do you suggest we go?”

“Wherever you want to.”

***

“Well, you’ve certainly outdone yourself.” Rocky sighed and leaned into the cement wall, which continued to vibrate from the passing cars above us. The walls of the bypass were dinged with graffiti and what looked like dried vomit, but leave it up to my tomboy best friend not to care. I cringed watching her brown ponytail press up against the brown stains. “So we’re here…now what?”

Without answering, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a half-empty pack of cigarettes. Almost robotically, I snatched one up between two fingers and grabbed the lighter from my shirt pocket.

Rocky’s nose crinkled up. “Really? That’s what you decide to do? Even gym is more appealing than sitting here watching you smoke.”

“What’s so bad about it?” I inhaled a puff of smoke, savoring the way its sharpness coated my throat.

“Uh, let’s see.” She held up her fingers and began counting off. “Lung cancer, emphysema, stained teeth, bad breath—”

“Hope you’re listing those in descending order of importance.” I chuckled.

“I’m being serious! Besides, I thought you hate it when your mom does it.”

There I was, being a hypocrite once again. I pushed away the feeling of unease and held out the box. “You want one?”

She rolled her eyes. “I’d rather be dead, and judging by your total lack of disregard, you do too.”

“Being dead seems a lot better than this lifetime,” I muttered.

“Don’t say that!” Her eyes widened in what I could only describe as fear.

“Relax.” I took another drag and allowed the corner of my lips to curl up reassuringly. “I’m not going to…well, you know.”

She nodded silently and looked down at her feet with a grimace. Her white sneakers had gotten even dirtier from our hike to the bypass, but I thought it added character to the preppy shoes. “Jesse…what are you going to do about your life? You can’t just keep doing shit like this, you know.”

“Like what?”

“Run away, do stupid crap when you’re depressed. You need to stop blaming everyone but yourself and take responsibility for your life.”

I blinked in surprise. My jaw became lax, my cigarette nearly dropping from my mouth.

“I’m sorry for the tough love…” Her voice trailed off, and she shook her head quickly. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt anymore. You can’t keep running from your troubles at home.”

My arms flailed around as I gestured at the broken bottles and abandoned soda cans at the bottom of the bridge. “This is my new home now.”

Rocky sighed and stretched out her legs, bumping into mine. It sent a familiar jolt of electricity through me. Surprisingly, I was not in the mood and shifted away. The sky was now completely overcast, conquered by what looked to be rain clouds, and what little grass peeked out from the sidewalk cracks was browning with the promise of fall. It was a dreary day to add to my already shitty mood.

I coughed a bit and took a deep breath. “You’re lucky, you know.”

“Why is that?”

I tilted my head slightly toward her and watched as she shivered. Without thinking twice, I peeled off my jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders, careful not to brush up against her again. I looked at her sadly, feeling a weird sting of nostalgia.

In another life we were probably together. I can’t wait for this one to be over too. I could finally feel your touch again.

Swallowing back a pang of unjustified grief, I whispered, “You’re going to go places.”

Without me.

“The only place I’m going is Rossi’s Novelties,” she replied with a soft laugh.

I shook my head. “You and I both know that’s not true. You’re going to leave and become some famous artist while I’m just going to stay here, of course. My grades, background…no college is going to take me.”

“What about community college?”

I almost laughed, but the lock of her jaw and tightness of her lips told me better. “What about it? You really think I have the money for that?”

Rocky’s eyes drooped. “It just sucks to think I’ll be so far away from you. You know I’m applying to Greystone and all.”

“Greystone University. Future home of Raquel Rossi.” Even saying the name of the school sucked ass. The college was about five hours away, and though I knew it was her dream to attend it, now that it seemed so close to happening I selfishly prayed she wouldn’t get in. I was a terrible person.

“Don’t call me Raquel,” she snapped

I bit my bottom lip and sucked in a breath. “Sorry…You’ll get in.”

“You think so?”

Unfortunately.

I nodded. “I know so.”

The cars continued to pass above us, rumbling and shaking the concrete. When I was younger, I used to sit and watch the cars fly by, picturing the different families that filled them. They were probably the traditional kind—two parents, happy kids, and maybe a dog. Then I’d start imagining the places they’d be going to. Maybe they were just going to the mall, or maybe they were taking a cross country trip to visit even more family.

Family.

Such an odd concept, and one I could only hope to understand.

“Why did your dad call?” Rocky asked timidly.

I snuck a glance at her, not entirely sure whether or not I wanted to get into it. However, I knew I couldn’t lie to her. Surprisingly, the words tumbled out of my mouth quite easily. “My dad’s getting remarried. I didn’t even know he was dating somebody.”

She attempted to keep a straight face but miserably failed. Her bottom lip jutted forward and her eyebrows rose. “Oh, Jesse…I’m so sorry.”

“Why?” I snorted. “It’s not like he was ever coming back, right?”

“I know, but…”

“But what?”

She shrugged. “You may deny it, but I know there’s always been a small part of you that wished he would.”

“Nope,” I replied, exaggerating the ‘p’ sound.

“Yeah, I believe you.” She waved me off.

I groaned and banged the back of my head softly against the shit-stained wall. “He also asked me to be his best man. I mean, what the fuck?”

“Well, you have to admit that was a bit nice.”

“I don’t have to admit anything, and it wasn’t nice. He just wants me to commit to going, which I am not going to do.” My blood began to boil, and though I knew I was taking my anger out on her, I couldn’t help myself. It was as if every negative emotion I had tried so hard to push away had suddenly returned with a vengeance. My dad had an uncanny ability to fuck up my life whether he was near me or not.

“Why wouldn’t you?”

I stared at her as if she had just told me that Elvis had returned to sing at the Old Opry. “The question is, ‘why would I want to’?”

Rocky opened her mouth to answer, but her voice came out deeper than expected. It took me a moment to realize the voice didn’t belong to her.

“Hey, you kids! What are you doing up there?” Heavy footsteps bounded toward us. Having had multiple brushes with the law, I knew exactly who those footsteps belonged to.

“Crap!” I jumped to my feet, underestimating the height of the concrete ceiling and bashing my head into it. “Ow!”

“Are you okay?” Rocky gasped, carefully making her way down the ramp.

“Don’t worry about me! Just run!”

Now, if I were alone I would have been up and gone already. There would have been no way the pig would have caught me. Unfortunately, Rocky wasn’t as stealthy as I could be. I watched in a panic as her foot caught into a tiny hole right where the sidewalk met the grass. She toppled to the ground, skinning her knees and hands in the process.

“Shit! Rocky, get up and run!” I yelped.

There was no running, however. The cop, who looked not much more than five years older than the both of us, appeared at her side, grabbing onto her arm. His cap was turned to the side, exposing his disheveled hair and sweat-stained face. Yup, if I were alone I so would have been able to outrun him. Jesse Tyler and the law did not have a good rap sheet.

He carefully pulled Rocky up and helped her to her feet. Glancing toward the ramp, he shot me a look of warning. “You better freeze, kiddo. You’re in big trouble.”

“Jesse, you can still run away,” Rocky hissed.

There was no way I was leaving her, and perhaps the cop could sense it too. He quietly eyed Rocky’s blood-stained jeans and shook his head solemnly.

“Are we going to jail?” Rocky whimpered.

Oh! How my heart broke at the look of fear on her face. Immediately I regretted every decision I made that morning—going to the bypass, letting Rocky tag along, skipping school…waking up.

The cop’s stone cold face crumbled instantly. His eyebrows furrowed at the sight of Rocky’s look of horror. In a calm tone, he clucked, “Come on, let’s get you two back to school. We’ll call your parents there and get you cleaned up.”

My eyebrows furrowed together. “We’re really getting off that easily?”

“Jesse!” Rocky snapped warningly.

My frown deepened. There had to be a catch. “With all due respect, I’m not used to being treated like this by…”

“By a cop?” He finished for me.

I nodded. “Why are you being so nice?”

His laugh was strained. “Believe me, kid, in my experience, dealing with parents is way worse than jail.”

***

“Rocky, how could you do this?” Mr. Rossi’s voice boomed loudly, rattling the glass windows that separated Mr. Elliott’s office from the main lobby. Rocky and her parents had been inside for almost twenty minutes, and let’s just say it was far from a peaceful meeting.

I clenched my fists together and shut my eyes, trying desperately to keep myself from barging through the closed door. Rocky shouldn’t be in this mess. She didn’t deserve any of it. My mother was right. I did nothing but drag her with me in my downward spiral.

When the door finally opened, I immediately jumped to my feet. Though all three adults stared at me with daggers of disdain, I didn’t notice any of them. My attention was solely on Rocky and her puffy, tear-stained face.

I did that to her.

“You!” Mr. Rossi stomped over to me, beer belly jiggling. Despite being almost a foot shorter, somehow he towered over me. “You better be ashamed of yourself! My daughter has never gotten into this much trouble until you showed up in her life.”

I didn’t reply. What could I say? It was the truth.

“Dad, stop it!” Rocky gasped between sobs.

“Be quiet, Raquel,” her father snapped. “You’re lucky Mr. Elliott is kind enough to allow you to make up the time in detention.”

Though he glared at her with as much ferocity as I’d imagine a rampant bull would give a red blanket, I couldn’t help but feel a bit envious. At least Rocky had parents who cared. What did I have?

As if just remembering my presence, Mr. Elliott stepped around father and daughter and pointed a finger at me. “Mr. Tyler. We’ve tried your mother a few times and unfortunately could not reach her.”

“You mean she didn’t care?” My tone oozed with sarcastic charm.

“Stop making it worse,” Rocky muttered under her breath.

Mr. Elliott frowned. “No matter. Her attendance is not necessary for your punishment. We spoke about this before, remember?”

Crap. I knew what was coming. I nodded silently as Rocky looked on in confusion.

“This is another strike to a long list of strikes.”

“Permanent records are fake,” I mumbled.

Rocky shut her eyes and shook her head. “Idiot.”

Mr. Elliott let out an exasperated sigh. “It is with utter disappointment that I’ll have to suspend you.”

Wow. Thought expulsion was coming.

“Suspension?” Rocky gasped. “But suspension means—”

“Automatic banishment from every dance for the year, yes.” Mr. Elliott never took his eyes off of me. That’s why he didn’t expel me! He knew how much this dance meant to me and just ripped it out from under me. This was far, far worse than being kicked out of school.

“Rocky and I already made plans to go to homecoming together,” I replied solemnly.

“Over my dead body!” Mr. Rossi interjected. “You are never going near my daughter again.”

I remained frozen, watching as Mr. Rossi herded Rocky out of the office. I internally groaned and shut my eyes. I really fucked this one up.

“Just let her go, son.”

My eyes snapped open. “What?”

Mr. Elliott shook his head slightly. “Let her go.”

Chapter 7

Me: How was school?

 

Rocky: Boring without you.

 

One week. It’s been one week of me stuck in the hell hole I called my house, and one week away from my friends. I cringed hearing my mother hawk up a loogie in the room next door, wishing that I was just in the middle of a bad dream. Desperate to lose myself, I picked up the phone once more.

 

Me: Has anybody been bothering you?

 

Rocky: If you’re talking about Dwight, yes.

Okay, maybe that was a bad way of losing myself. My blood boiled as my fingers took on a mind of its own.

Me: Tell me exactly what he did and don’t lie.

 

A few seconds ticked by with no answer. “Come on, Rocky. Stop thinking of a lie.”

Finally, after a few minutes my phone buzzed, and to my disappointment it was definitely not the answer I wanted to see.

Rocky: He asked me to homecoming.

 

Me: Did you tell him you had a date already?

 

Rocky: You mean the date that ditched me?

 

I couldn’t tell if the pain in my stomach was caused by irritation, guilt, or the leftover pork chop I found in the back of the fridge that night. I stared at my screen, typing, retyping, and erasing over and over again. Racking my brain for a response that wouldn’t piss my best friend off, I was relieved to hear the PING of her response.

Rocky: I said no of course.

I let out a sigh of relief and deleted my string of gibberish. Deciding I didn’t want to talk about the meathead anymore, I abruptly changed the subject to happier thoughts.

 

Me: Seeing as we BOTH don’t have dates, you wanna continue our cheesy movie night tradition? I’ll supply the popcorn ;)

 

Damn, a winky face emoticon? What’s happening to you, Jesse? I frowned as I watched three dots bounce across my screen. She was definitely typing something and hesitating. Hmm…

Me: You have something against acid washed jeans and teased hair?

 

Rocky: Don’t be mad be at me.

Though my heart was pounding at this point, I decided to keep the mood light.

Me: Okay, I admit I hate acid washed jeans myself, but the hair is awesome.

 

Rocky: Jesse, I was still planning on going to the dance.

Feeling my heart threatening to escape my ribcage, I ground my teeth together. If she had said no to Dwight, maybe she had said yes to somebody else. At the risk of sounding like an overbearing boyfriend, I typed out the one question that I really didn’t want to know the answer to.

Me: Are you going alone?

 

Rocky: Nah, I was planning on tagging along with Steph.

I calmed down a bit, but still felt on edge.

 

Me: Surprised she went for that idea.

 

Rocky: I’ll be there for moral support.

 

Me: Moral support for what? Watching them make out in front of you?

 

Rocky: Haha. For your info it’s a girl thing. You wouldn’t understand.

 

Me: You’re right.

 

Rocky: Anyway, I have to go. Unlike some people, I have school tomorrow.

 

Me: Fine. Gnite.

 

Rocky: Nite

I tossed my phone aside and fell back onto my bed. Shutting my eyes tightly, I imagined a far different scenario where Rocky wouldn’t need to be the third wheel. I’d show up at her door, corsage in hand, ready to treat her like the princess that she was. Once we arrived at the dance I’d never let her go, relishing in the feeling of her soft skin under my hands.

Yeah, that would have been perfect. Too bad I was always far from perfect.