Текст книги "One and Done"

Автор книги: S. Briones Lim

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Текущая страница: 3 (всего у книги 16 страниц)

Chapter 3

“Mom, I’m home!” I shouted, not knowing why I insisted on announcing my arrival every day after school. Maybe it was to give my mom the chance to hide whatever brand of whiskey she was chugging down her throat, or maybe it was even for the slight possibility of hearing her ask me how my day went. Yeah, I knew the latter would never happen.

“Mom?”

I groaned when the aroma of tequila hit my nose. She only hit the Jose Cuervo bottle on particularly bad days.

“About time you showed up!” she snarled.

Yup, definitely a bad day.

I followed the raspy voice to our den and groaned when I spotted my mother lighting up another cigarette. A filthy kitchen bowl sat on the table beside her, filled to the brim with ash and cigarette butts.

I shifted uneasily and tried my hardest to ignore everything around me. I ignored the stack of newspapers that littered the ground. I ignored the empty bottle at her feet. I even ignored the two empty cigarette boxes thrown onto our stained couch. At least I tried to, anyway.

“You know, it’s really dangerous smoking near paper. You trying to burn this place down?” I growled, snatching up the mess to throw away.

“You better watch your mouth, boy. You’ve been a pain in my ass since the day I peed on that pregnancy stick, and I don’t need your smartass telling me what to do.” She took another drag of her cigarette and eyed me disgustedly. “I’m your mother, remember?”

“Then why don’t you act like it for once?” I snapped back as I walked toward the kitchen. A sudden crash caused me to whirl around. Tiny bell-like whistles echoed as glass and ceramic pieces littered the hardwood floor. “What the fuck?”

Mom jumped from her seat, and in superhero fashion, rushed toward me with her fist in the air.

Bam.

Another sucker punch to the face.

Though this particular punch didn’t hold the same physical power as Dwight’s had, this one hurt more. A lot more.

I winced as the familiar swirl of sadness and anger pooled inside my stomach. Mom stumbled a bit, but was obviously fuming. Her chest rose and fell as if struggling to capture what little breath she had left. God knew the only thing in her lungs was black ash.

“You better watch that mouth, you stupid fuck!” she exclaimed, gasping for air. “You’d be in the gutter dead if I wasn’t here watching your dumb ass.” She lurched toward the side, nearly knocking into our china cabinet. A vindictive part of me yearned to see her smack her face into the glass, but of course I wouldn’t let that happen. My arm shot out, catching her before she face planted. Unfortunately, instead of thanking me, she looked up and scowled. “Get your filthy hands off of me, boy! I don’t need your help.”

“What the fuck is your problem? I do nothing but take care of you and…love you. Why are you always attacking me?”

“We never wanted kids, then suddenly you showed up.” The tone of her voice was low and eerie. It reminded me of a killer taunting his victim before he lashed out. Prying her arm from my hold, she managed to hobble toward her beer-stained recliner and plop down.

“It’s called protection, Mom…or in your case, maybe you should have just abstained,” I growled.

She huffed. “You’ve always been a fucking thorn in my side. You ever wonder why your father left us? Because of you!”

I bit my tongue, fighting the urge to remind her that it wasn’t me who was drugged out every single hour of the day, nor was it me who drained our savings on whiskey and pills. Dad left because Mom chose the bottle over him, but she’d never understand that.

Taking a few deep breaths to calm myself, I narrowed my eyes and ground out, “Why didn’t you just end the pregnancy then? If I came as such a shock, you should have just walked over to that free clinic and been done with me.”

She looked me dead in the eyes. “I wish I had.”

Cue another punch in the gut. I stood there, dumbfounded, not knowing how to respond.

After a beat, Mom broke the silence and shoved something into my chest. “Here. From your father.” She said the word ‘father’ as if she was speaking of mice or some other vermin.

“Is this what I think it is?” I looked down and grabbed onto the blue envelope.

“Hell if I know. Probably another one of his ‘meaningful cards.’ Is it your birthday or something?”

Of course my own mother wouldn’t know my birthday.

“No.” I pursed my lips.

“Well, I wouldn’t bet it’s a love letter.” She snickered. “Who would love you?”

“Is anybody home?” Rocky’s voice called out from the foyer. I must have left the door open somehow. Once again, her timing couldn’t have been more perfect.

I turned back to my mother and smirked. “Somebody.”

Letting out a loud snort, Mom scowled. “It’ll only be a matter of time until she realizes what trash you are. Give it some time. You’ll drag her down into your scum soon enough.”

***

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to be here?” Rocky’s eyes darted around nervously. She pushed aside her art bag and drawing board before plopping down on my mattress. “I sort of feel like I’m intruding.”

Intruding on my bed?

I gulped. “You know you’re always welcome here.”

Always.

“But your mom…”

“Is none of our concern.” I waved the blue envelope in the air and sighed. Every few months my dad would send a greeting card stuffed with money. It would always end with the same line: Call me.

I never did.

“Aren’t you going to open it?” Rocky’s tone was hushed.

“Nah, I already know what it is. What’s the point?”

“The point is that I don’t know what it is, and I’m really curious!” She leaned over and tried to snatch it away, but I was too quick for her.

Laughing, I shrugged and flicked at the corner of the envelope. “It’s just a card with money in it. Nothing special.”

“Nothing special?” she gaped, twisting her fingers together. “I wish I had free money. You know how many art supplies I’d buy with that?”

“Here. Take it then,” I replied, tossing the envelope onto her lap.

Looking appalled, she picked it up and chucked it back toward me. “I don’t want your money! Makes me feel like a prostitute or something.”

“You’d have to be paid to sleep with me before that happens.” My laugh died down when I realized how inappropriate the joke was, especially given the look of horror on Rocky’s face. She leaned back into my wall and grabbed my pillow, pulling awkwardly at a loose piece of thread as she tried to avoid my eyes. “Yeah, that was kinda messed up. Sorry?”

She shrugged and didn’t say a word, though judging by the crease in her forehead and narrowing of her eyes she was deep in thought.

Averting my gaze, I glanced back down at the envelope and frowned. Maybe if I wished hard enough, the words, ‘I made a mistake and I’m coming home’ would be written on the card instead of the usual ‘call me.’ Of course that wouldn’t happen. We’d never have another chance to be a family again—not that we ever were a family to begin with.

“Rocky?” I swallowed hard. “How’s it like?”

“How’s what like?” Her eyes finally found mine, peering at me curiously.

“Having a family,” I whispered. “You know…a normal one.”

Her face softened. “I’d hardly say we were normal. A rebellious sister, about thirty cousins, and a dad that dresses like a clown in TV commercials—yup, we’re a regular Leave It to Beaver.”

“No, I mean…” I shook my head. “Never mind. Forget I mentioned it.”

“What? What is it?” She leaned forward and placed her fingertips lightly on my thigh, causing a jolt of electricity to travel up and down my skin. “You know you can ask me anything.”

My gaze traveled from her hot pink colored nails up her arm and back to her face. I gulped. “How’s it like knowing they have your back?”

“You have that…” her voice trailed off.

“You must be thinking about someone else, because that is something I definitely do not have.”

Her top teeth raked across her bottom lip, scraping off the remnants of her shiny lip gloss. “Jesse, you and I are family…” Her eyes widened. “I-I mean not like brother and sister or anything like that…I mean.”

I held back a laugh, though truthfully I was relieved she didn’t think of me that way. I grabbed at my neck and grimaced. “No offense, but you live in your happy little bubble without realizing how the other half lives, you know? You don’t know what it’s like to be me.”

“I’m not a rich snob, Jesse,” she replied with disapproval.

I smirked. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what do you mean?”

“Well, you’re loved and protected.”

And you always will be. That’s why I’ll never be with you. I’d just push you away for good.

“Jesse, stop being so melodramatic. You’re loved too…” She looked toward my door and grimaced, undoubtedly thinking about my mother. “Look, I care about you. Steph cares about you. You’re not as alone as you think.”

My shoulders slumped forward. Taking a deep breath, I gestured toward the gigantic slab of wood perched against my bed frame. “Why’d you bring your drawing board? Didn’t get your fill of drawing this handsome face in class?”

She snickered and shook her head. “I actually have a project to do for AP Art, and seeing that you kept getting distracted by Miss McMillan’s knockers—”

“Hey!” I gasped.

“—I figured if I got you alone, I could finally position you the way I wanted.”

Oh, she walked right into that one.

I wagged my eyebrows suggestively. “And what position would that be? Top or bottom?”

Her mouth dropped right open. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I’m only teasing.” Too bad my dick didn’t feel the same way. As discreetly as I could, I grabbed at a nearby pillow and positioned it onto my lap.

Rocky’s face was burning bright. “Um, what I do mean is that I want to get an exact expression on your face. Earlier you kinda sat around like this…” She dropped her arms by her sides, slumped her shoulders forward, widened her eyes, and slacked her jaw. “Uh, duhhhhh.”

Laughing, I jokingly punched her in the shoulder. “I did not!”

She giggled back—a sound I loved to hear—and grinned. “Seriously, I want you to look…”

“Like what?”

“Like how you always do when you’re with me.”

Completely in love with you?

“And how’s that?” I gulped.

She sighed and scratched her head. “I don’t really know how to describe it…I guess…not like before?”

“Care to embellish?” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Basically, I want you to look like you’re not lusting over somebody’s boobs.”

“And whose boobs are we talking about?” I choked out. “Miss McMillan’s or Sarah’s?”

Her mouth dropped open. “See! I knew it!

“Oh, come on, Rocky. I was only looking at you in class.”

She blinked quickly. “You were?”

“Well, yeah.” I looked down at my sneakers and shrugged. “You’re the only one I feel comfortable with.”

“Or the only one you can’t imagine sleeping with,” she muttered. Though she tried to play it off as a joke, I knew there was an insult hidden somewhere in there.

I cleared my throat and changed the subject. “Okay, fine. You want to draw me? Let’s do this.” I stood up and grabbed my desk chair, spinning it around until I was facing her. “Draw me like one of your—”

“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence.” She rolled her eyes and grabbed her drawing board, hiking it onto the top of her thighs. She crossed her legs, causing the hole in her jeans to become stretched out, exposing her olive legs. “Just be your usual self.”

“Devastatingly handsome?” I joked, unable to look away from her bare skin.

“Excruciatingly stupid.”

I smirked. “You better make me beautiful.”

“You already are, Princess.” She giggled.

The low hum of the radio was the only sound in the room. Mom must have dozed off into another one of her drunken comas, leaving the house deathly quiet. I yawned and struggled to remain upright, watching Rocky’s face contort into pure concentration. It was amazing that she couldn’t see the power she had over me. Then again, it was something I tried my best to hide. My gaze flickered down to her cheek where a loose tendril of hair rested, and I desperately wanted to push it away so I could see her fully. Of course I didn’t.

It killed me that Rocky and I could never be together, but that’s what true love was about, right? Sacrifice. There was no way I could invite this loving, family-oriented angel into my dysfunctional and broken world. I needed to save her from a lifetime doomed with my torture…yet, was I that strong? When I found out Dwight had asked her out, it was like another sucker punch to the face. Imagining her with another man’s arm wrapped around her waist, slow dancing to a John Legend tune and kissing under the corny disco ball of the dance, did things to my insides that I’m not too proud of.

Why?

Why could a douche like Dwight expect that he’d get somebody as perfect as Rocky?

Why?

Why couldn’t I allow myself one moment of selfishness?

Before I could figure out the secret to life, the door to my bedroom burst open and a red-eyed, almost unrecognizable woman stumbled in. “Where’s your cash?”

Rocky stiffened at the sight of my mom and lifted her drawing board higher, as if trying to shield herself. I rolled my chair in front of her protectively despite knowing my mom would never lay a hand on her. I would never let her get that far.

“I don’t have any cash, Mom. Now please leave my room,” I said in a calm voice.

“Bullshit. I saw some cash lying inside your underwear drawer the other day!”

The fact that she was nosing around in my boxer drawer overshadowed the embarrassment I felt with Rocky watching this whole exchange. I lifted my chin and tried to keep a stone cold face. “Then you’d know that it was only three bucks and I spent that on lunch at school.”

“Bullshit,” she repeated, glaring at me.

I expected her to leave, but when she didn’t, I knew I had no choice. I fished inside my pocket looking for my last five dollar bill.

Rocky gasped. “No, don’t.”

Now that got my mother’s attention. “Who do you think you are, hussy? Do you really think you have a right to tell my son what to do? I am his muth-dddeerrrr.”

I felt as if smoke was about to escape my ears. I jumped to my feet and stomped my way over to the door. “She has more right than you do. Here.” I shoved the bill into Mom’s hands. “Now go.”

As if a light switch was flipped off, Mom’s face went from murderous to ecstatic. She quickly exited the room, but even her absence didn’t alleviate my mood. I slammed the door loudly and threw myself back onto my chair in time to spot Rocky discreetly shoving her stuff back into her bag.

“Where are you going?” I demanded.

She smiled sheepishly. “Um, I think I should go. Let’s finish this up another time.”

“Why?”

She shrugged. “I don’t have to tell you why.”

My jaw clenched as I worked my teeth around inside my mouth. Everything in my life was so fucked up. Just when I thought I had a moment of pure normalcy, my mother had to ruin things again. Without thinking, I reached over to grab a half-empty bottle of whiskey from my desk.

Rocky stopped what she was doing and threw me a disappointed look.

“What?” I muttered, unscrewing the black cap. The familiar scent both calmed me and made me want to hurl.

“I think you need to take care of yourself for once…none of this reckless stuff anymore.” She pointed to an empty beer can in my waste basket and sighed. “Don’t turn into her.”

Of course I’d never turn into her. The thought was not only ridiculous, but damn near impossible! Regardless, I found myself screwing the lid back on to appease my best friend. “For the record, I do take care of myself. I eat. I brush my teeth.”

She bowed her head and sighed. “We both know that’s not what I mean. Be happy, Jesse. I know you’re not. That’s why you’re always running around getting into trouble all the time.”

“Happy? How do you expect me to do that? Have you seen my life?” I gestured around and smirked. “Not that easy, Rocky.”

She took a deep breath. “You can at least try to act normal. I mean, what do kids our age usually do?”

“I don’t know…get all hyped up about homecoming, I guess.” I glanced up and noticed a hopeful look in Rocky’s eyes. I frowned. “But we’re not like everybody else. We don’t do stuff like that.”

“And why not?”

“Because…”

“That’s not an answer. We’re seniors, Jesse. Now’s the time to take part in all that dumb high school stuff and stop trying so hard to be different.” Her shoulders bounced. “Besides, what girl wouldn’t want to go to a dance?”

Dumbfounded, I stared at Rocky curiously. “You don’t really want to go to homecoming, do you?”

Her eyes widened. “Yes! I’d love to go!”

My mouth dropped open. “Wait, what?”

“I totally wanted to ask you, but I thought you’d think it was stupid.” She paused and cleared her throat. “I mean, to go as friends of course.”

“Friends,” I repeated.

“Yeah…” Rocky’s face fell for a moment before brightening. “We’ll have a lot of fun. We’ll be normal kids.”

I let a puff of air out of my nostrils. “How would I know what normal is?”

Chapter 4

“So you want to go to the dance?” Mr. Elliott folded his hands together, creating a steeple with his index fingers. Resting his nose on the makeshift tower, he exhaled lengthily. “I thought Jesse Tyler didn’t do dances.”

Crap. He really was going to drag this out.

“He doesn’t, but his best friend does.”

“Raquel Rossi?” The vice principal’s eyebrows rose in surprise. His interest seemingly piqued, he leaned over like a star-crazed paparazzi photographer. I wondered if my affection for her was more obvious than I assumed.

I nodded. “Yes, Rocky.”

He pursed his lips. “I spoke to Miss McMillan today. She speaks quite highly of you.”

“As she should,” I replied smugly.

Mr. Elliott pursed his lips. “I’m glad to see you’re listening to my advice.”

“It wasn’t advice, it was a punishment, right?” I crossed my arms over my chest, then, thinking better of it, relaxed them to my sides. I was asking a favor—something I hated to do—and I needed to play nice.

“Nevertheless…she seems quite smitten by you…I mean smitten in the most respectable term, of course.” He cleared his throat uncomfortably.

Just what BFHS needed—a sex scandal. I smirked. “Yeah, the class is definitely fun.”

Let’s throw an innuendo there to make him squirm.

He nodded his head slowly. “Seeing as you are taking your punishment seriously, I’ll lift my ban on the dance if you promise to stick to the club for at least a semester.”

My heart jumped in jubilation. “Thank you.”

“Suffice it to say, you don’t get into any more trouble before then, hmm?”

I nodded, though deep inside I knew it was a promise I couldn’t—wouldn’t—be able to keep.

***

“We’re going to homecoming!” Rocky practically shrieked at Stephanie, who stared at us in bewilderment.

“What? Since when?” She eyed us suspiciously. “This has got to be a joke, right?”

Rocky bounced from one foot to the other, a ball of nervous and excited energy ready to burst. “No, not a joke. We decided just last night. Isn’t this exciting? I get to buy a dress and get my hair done.”

As Rocky continued to ramble on, Stephanie lifted an eyebrow in confusion. “Wait, last night? What were you two doing last night?”

“We—”

“Ran off to the courthouse and eloped,” I interjected with a wink.

Stephanie was not amused. “So you guys ditched me. Again.”

“We didn’t get married, Steph,” Rocky said quietly.

“Duh, I’m not an idiot,” she replied with a laugh. “Anyway, what am I going to do now?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, leaning into my locker. I purposely allowed my shoulder to rub against Rocky’s and reveled in the way the contact made her quiver.

Stephanie groaned in exasperation. “We never go to dances. I was kinda looking forward to stuffing my face with pizza and watching Weekend at Bernie’s like we always do! You know, so we don’t have to worry about stupid high school dances?”

Crap. In all the excitement, I had forgotten about our stupid tradition of pizza and a bad eighties flick on dance night. It was an unspoken pact between the three of us to spend time away from the student body we all hated so much. Then again, it was mostly an excuse for three outcasts—the quiet bad boy, geeky art student, and unpopular brainiac—to avoid the unwanted pressure of attending. Well, every tradition had to be broken sooner or later, right?

“Why don’t you just ask somebody? That way you can go with us,” I suggested.

Stephanie’s big eyes widened further. “Are you serious? Why would I do that?”

Rocky tilted her head thoughtfully. “You do like that Daniel guy from our trig class, right?”

“Rocky!” Stephanie’s eyes darted around the hallway. “You weren’t supposed to say anything about that. You promised!”

I laughed. “Come on, I don’t think we’re important enough for anybody to be eavesdropping on.”

“Speak for yourself.” Stephanie rolled her eyes and sighed. “Why would I ask him? Shouldn’t he ask me?”

“He’s had that option for a while now,” I replied bluntly. “Maybe it’s time you take matters into your own hands.”

“Easy for you to say.” She snorted. “You knew Rocky would go with you—”

“Ahem!” Rocky coughed, shooting Stephanie a look of warning.

Stephanie shrugged. “Just saying.”

Rocky rolled her eyes. “Anyway, Steph, you have over a month until the dance…who knows? Maybe this will turn into something more than just a stupid high school dance.”

I had to hand it to Rocky. She had a way of manipulating us without making us feel manipulated. My mom could take a few lessons from her.

“You really think so? Do you think he’ll really go out with me?” Stephanie yanked at her long strands and shut her eyes. For a moment I felt a bit guilty. I always forgot that my ‘irritating’ friend had a soft spot—an insecurity.

Before Rocky could respond, I reached out and patted Stephanie’s shoulder. “Of course. Just as long as you have a vagina, a teenage boy will always jump at the chance.”

The look of doubt left Steph’s face and was replaced with annoyance. “Okay, but if this ends badly I’ll find you and murder you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Written elf porn. I got it.” I shrugged my shoulders but couldn’t help wondering if she really did have a boiling pot of water waiting for me.