Текст книги "One and Done"

Автор книги: S. Briones Lim

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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 16 страниц)

Her scent, a sweet mix of strawberry shampoo, light body spray, and sweat, was almost intoxicating. It was dizzying, almost rendering me speechless.

Gulping, I tilted my head closer to her. “First of all, I told you I was going to make up for ditching you during homecoming. I guess a gaudy nightclub is the closest thing to it.”

Rocky’s arms tensed under my grip. I looked down and noticed a troubled expression on her face. Feeling fantasy crumble away, I jarred myself from my trancelike state and pulled away. “Rocky, what’s wrong?”

Her cheeks paled. “I…”

The music cut and speakers squealed with the DJ’s annoying voice. “Time for the countdown everyone! Ten, nine, eight…”

Shaking my head, I ignored the outbursts surrounding me. There was only one thing that deserved my attention, and she was gnawing nervously on her bottom lip. “Rocky, what’s wrong?”

“ONE!”

Shyly, Rocky lifted her face and whispered, “Happy New Year.”

Did they light fireworks indoors? No, it couldn’t be.

It wasn’t.

My insides burst open once Rocky’s soft lips pressed against mine. After a night of fantasizing, yearning, and lusting for her, I easily surrendered to her touch. Unfortunately, reality’s ugly face was once again waiting to pounce.

I’ll be leaving Bethel Falls again.

What the fuck was I doing? Did I really think one night would change anything? I’d be leaving Rocky behind again and then what? It wouldn’t be long until we’d find ourselves miles apart leading two separate lives again. As much as I wanted Rocky—as much as I wanted everything she wanted—I couldn’t desert her again. Stephanie was right, I’d only hurt her again. Well, history was not about to repeat itself. This time I knew that I loved her enough to finally let her go for good.

This has gone too far, Jesse. You should never have come back.

I loosened her hands from my neck and stepped away from her, feeling a sudden shock of sadness without her lips on mine. It really had gone too far. I was just like my mother—selfish beyond belief.

“Um, Rocky? I, uh…” What could I say to her? There was no way she’d understand and definitely no way she’d want to hear my reasoning. Feeling lost, I found myself heading toward the exit, leaving her on the dance floor. It wasn’t until I felt the cool winter air on my face that I realized the magnitude of what I just did.

I’d already gone and left her behind.

Chapter 20

“What the heck did I just do?” I punched my steering wheel, blasting the horn. The high pitched scream cut through the silent night, startling a couple playing tonsil hockey next to my car. They jumped about five feet and began yelling obscenities at me. Not in the mood, I shouted back, “Get a room!”

Muttering my own curse words under my breath, I began my trek home. Though my house wasn’t too far from the strip, it felt as if the journey home lasted a whole day. My thoughts jumped around erratically as I replayed the night’s events in my mind.

I got what I wanted, right? Rocky liked me back. Her feelings never went away after all. Plus, Ethan was definitely not on her mind. So what? What good would it be? We’d only end up messing each other’s lives once again.

“Ugh! I wish I had someone to talk to!” I gritted my teeth, entering my house. My mother’s coughs greeted me, but judging by the lack of crass remarks I figured she was asleep. Trudging to my room, I pulled out my phone and skimmed through the contacts, feeling more and more deflated when I realized I had no real friends I could call to vent or even wish a Happy New Year.

It wasn’t as if I hadn’t met any new people in Charleston. However, having grown used to people pushing me away, I always kept my new friends at arm’s length. Besides, every new friendship I made seemed a bit thin and artificial. None of them held the weight I ever felt with my high school buds. Therein lay my problem.

Sighing, I sucked it up and called the one person I knew would listen to my stupid problems. Swiping the screen, I pressed my thumb against his name, which was incidentally the only contact in my ‘Favorites.’ He answered in one ring.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Happy New Year!” He struggled to shout above the laughter, squeals of delight, and chatter behind him.

That’s right. Tyler’s Tavern was hosting an NYE party. How did I even forget?

I swallowed and took a breath. “Happy New Year.”

There was a slight pause followed by the sound of a closing door. Dad must have locked himself in the janitor’s closet or bathroom, considering we had no other private rooms in the establishment.

“What’s wrong?” Dad asked in a worried tone. “Is your mom…Are you locked up…Is everyone okay?”

I smirked, feeling unjustifiably irritated. “She’s fine and no, I’m not in jail. Seriously, Dad?”

He sighed and replied in a sheepish tone. “Old habits die hard. It is one of the most alcohol-fueled nights of the year.”

My eyes darkened. “Well, that habit of mine died almost four years ago.”

“Since I doubt you’re calling your old man just to wish me Happy New Year, would you care to tell me what happened?”

I scratched my head, trying to gather my thoughts. Despite our improved relationship, discussing sex, girls, and love still seemed unbearably awkward. “I…uh…um…do you remember Rocky?”

“Rocky…” His voice trailed off. “Oh, you mean Raquel Rossi?”

I nodded, which was stupid seeing as we were speaking on the phone. “Uh…I…she…”

“What did you do to her?” He sounded exhausted.

“Really?” I snorted. “What makes you think I did anything to her? Do you really think that low of me?”

“You can’t really blame me for figuring that history had once again repeated itself.”

“Well, it hasn’t,” I snapped in annoyance.

“Okay…so what happened?”

“She kissed me.”

Silence.

After a few seconds, I called out, “Dad? You still there?”

He cleared his throat. “Sorry, I was just trying to think of an appropriate, fatherly reply.”

“Well, hate to break it to you, but my life was full of inappropriateness, so by all means say whatever you want.”

“Okay, to put it bluntly—why is it a bad thing? Thought young men your age would love to have a pretty girl to celebrate the holiday with.”

“You don’t get it, do you?”

“Guess not…”

“Dad, we both know I’ll be going back there. My whole life is now in Charleston. Why lead her on if I’m just going to leave her again?”

“And leaving is bad because?” he wondered.

“Gee, of course you’d ask a question like that. Leaving was always easy for you,” I blurted out before I could stop myself. I cringed, waiting for his reaction, which surprisingly wasn’t that bad.

“Listen, son. What I meant to say is that if things—relationships—are meant to work out they will. Obviously, I tried hard to make my marriage with your mother work, and do you know why?”

I crossed my arms and groaned in exasperation. “No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”

“Because it wasn’t meant to be. I know I’ve given you some pretty shitty advice in the past―”

“Yeah you have.”

“—but what if you’re back in Bethel Falls for a reason? What if you’ve grown up enough to finally make it work? You remember what I said back then, right?”

I nodded. “Of course. You said Rocky was a bad influence.”

“No, I didn’t mean—ugh, forget it.”

Though I had a barrage of rebuttals, I decided to keep my mouth shut.

“Take me, for example. With Teresa it’s different. It’s easy. That’s how it is supposed to be. Seeing as how you’ve only been there for two weeks and already you and Rocky are making waves, maybe…”

“Maybe what?” I muttered.

“Maybe she’s your easy. Long distance relationships can work, son. Moving back to Charleston really isn’t the worst problem you can have.”

“I beg to differ,” I replied glumly. “Long distance relationships only work for people who don’t screw things up on a regular basis. What’s the guarantee that I won’t fuck things up now?”

“I thought therapy helped,” Dad replied quietly.

I blinked in surprise. “It did…in a way.” Sighing, I threw my body against my bed and rubbed my eyes. “It helped me realize my shortcomings and the fact that I am my own shortcoming.”

Dad snorted. “Hate to say it, but you’re giving yourself too much credit.”

“Gee thanks,” I replied dully.

“You do realize people have free will, right?”

“Uh, yeah?” What was he getting at?

As if explaining the most obvious thing in the world, he said slowly, “Maybe you didn’t drag her down after all and maybe she didn’t drag you down as I previously thought. Maybe she liked doing all those things, same as you did.”

“I guess…” I was still left utterly confused.

He pressed on. “And maybe she’s woman enough now to finally show you what she’s been trying to all along. She’s a stronger person, and she’s in control of her destiny the same way you’ve always been in control of yours.”

“I never thought she was weak. I just thought…”

“You thought too little of her, as did I,” he admitted. “Give her more credit than you have been. She sounds like she knows what she’s doing.”

Chapter 21

Rossi’s Novelties was closed on New Year’s Day, and I couldn’t have been happier. It gave me a chance to reevaluate everything and to prep myself for my first encounter with Rocky. It also gave me ample opportunity to sit down with my mother. I really wasn’t looking forward to spending so much time with her, but like she said, picking this nurse was a two-person job. God be with whomever we chose.

I placed my newly brewed mug of coffee down on the kitchen table, causing the old thing to wobble. It was the same table from my childhood, and guessing from the scratches, scraped paint, and other stains littering the monstrosity, she’d really given it a run for its money.

“Used and abused. I know the feeling.”

Mom staggered toward the chair opposite of me and plopped down, eyeing me expectantly. Her tank ticked ominously, like a metronome guiding the rhythm of her wandering gaze.

I shifted uncomfortably, feeling the burn from her glare. “What are you looking at?”

“I was just thinking that you look more and more like your father each day.” She paused and began to cough, pulling at the translucent skin hanging from her throat. “How is he, by the way? I never thought to ask.”

“He’s fine.”

Mom remained quiet, as if waiting for me to say more. When she realized that was about as deep as my answer would get, she muttered in a hoarse tone, “Well, let’s get this over with so you can abandon me just like he did.”

If auras were visible, mine would have been ripped and stained with bright red. Palms clammy, I opened and closed my fist. “Are you being serious right now?”

“You and your dad are cut from the same cloth. Both selfish pigs.” She crossed her arms across her chest, wincing as her elbow knocked into her tank. She was never one to show physical pain, and that one action alone disarmed me. However, I was not going to go down without a fight. Not anymore.

“Selfish? You want to talk about being selfish? Who was it who cared more about getting high than watching her own son? Better yet, who cared more about feeling buzzed than salvaging her own marriage?” I was struggling not to yell, but miserably failing. Years’ worth of pent up aggression had finally burst from its prison.

Her thin, almost translucent lips remained pressed together, exaggerating the cracked lines surrounding her mouth. Her dark eyes seemed almost black, void of any expression.

Realizing that arguing with my mother was like picking a fight with a two-year-old, I slammed down hard on the table and shoved a packet of papers toward her. “Here. I took the liberty of skimming the list without you. I circled the ones that I like. Choose one—just one—from that list. That’s kind of picking together, right?”

Scowling, she threw the papers to her side, watching as the pile floated toward the ground like graceful feathers wafting in the air. It almost looked beautiful, but unfortunately nothing in the Tyler household ever stayed beautiful for long. Take my mother, for instance. Had it not been for her recreational drug use and alcohol abuse, I could almost imagine her as a vibrant brunette, full of life and promise. I gazed upon her wrinkled, leathery skin sadly. She wasted her life away, plain and simple.

I’d never let myself do that again.

“Pick who you want, I don’t give a fuck anymore.” I jumped to my feet, nearly knocking the rickety table over. “I’ll be out of your life for good. Count on it.”

Chapter 22

The winter weather was annoying the crap out of me. Every moment in Bethel Hills was like tempting hypothermia or at the very least inviting pneumonia to set in. The atmosphere was dreary—grey with no hint of winter sun. Even the darkened trees seemed to cry out, begging for warmth.

I pulled into the Texas-sized parking lot of Rossi’s, careful not to drift along the icy asphalt, another effect of Jack Frost’s wrath. Setting my car in park, I let out a soft groan when I spotted Rocky’s sedan sitting primly toward the front. “Of course. Why wouldn’t she be here already?”

One hesitant step after another, I approached the store’s main doors. Through the foggy glass I could make out one dim light shining from inside.

“Well, here goes nothing.”

Lifting a gloved hand, I knocked softly, jarring the condensation loose. I stepped back, half-heartedly watching a makeshift race between two separate water droplets. By the time they reached the bottom of the doorframe, I was basically a popsicle.

“C-come on, R-r-rocky, I know you’re in t-t-t-here.” My teeth chattered against one another painfully.

I knocked again, this time louder and more insistent, but once again I was met with no answer. Knock after knock, nothing. Then finally, after the umpteenth time, I spotted Rocky dragging herself toward the front of the store. Judging by the horrified look on her face, she was feeling about as awkward as I was. She opened the door, but failed to lift her gaze to meet mine.

The day’s gonna suck with both of us feeling uncomfortable. Might as well try to alleviate the situation.

“Damn, girl!” I joked, jumping inside. “It’s freezing outside! What are you trying to do? Freeze my balls off or something?”

She gaped at me as if I had just spoken a foreign language, briefly eyeing me in suspicion.

I decided to continue playing dumb. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

She bit the corner of her mouth, causing her bottom lip to plump toward the side. My gaze dropped down, eyeing the tender pink skin. Proudly, I reminded myself I had kissed those lips just two nights before.

“I sort of thought things would be awkward between us,” she admitted, still shielding her eyes from mine.

“Why? Because you finally kissed me after almost ten years?” I blurted out, still entranced by her bubble gum lips.

“Excuse me?” She was put off, that’s for sure, and quickly made a beeline for the cash wrap.

Acting purely on impulse, I chased after her and replied, “C’mon, I always knew you sort of liked me. Surprised you waited so long.”

She paled. “I…I…uh…wait…what?”

“I’m not as dense as you always thought I was. I’m actually smarter than I look,” I said matter-of-factly.

“I never thought you were dense,” she snapped.

“Sure.”

The bad thing about winter is that though it is icy as hell outside, indoors was a different story. The combination of warm air along with the feeling of mild embarrassment and awkwardness made my skin feel as if it were on fire. To make matters worse, Rocky’s gaze practically burned a hole through my skin! I stripped off my jacket, fully aware that I was dripping in sweat.

Way to admit guilt there, asshole.

Rocky finally tore her gaze off of me and sneered, “Why are you acting so nonchalant about this?”

I blinked in surprise. “I’m not acting like anything. I’m being normal. Why are you acting so weird?”

“I’m mortified,” she admitted.

That makes two of us.

“Why?” I asked, not knowing how else to respond.

“I kissed you!” Her voice suddenly lowered, muffling the distinct pain dripping from her tone. “Then you walked away.”

Feeling guilty, I gulped, feeling as if my throat was lined with shards of glass. How was I going to walk out of this one?

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that.” Really sorry. “I guess I was just caught a bit off guard. It was wrong of me to walk away from you.” Did I mention I was sorry?

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” she whispered almost so quietly that I couldn’t hear.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” she said quickly. Her face contorted, making her appear as if she was deep in thought. She lifted her pale painted nails to her mouth and began nibbling at the edges. “You have to admit if things weren’t already weird between us before, I certainly expect them to be weirder this time around.”

“Things weren’t weird between us.” It was a blatant lie. We both knew it.

“Really? Not weird? You wouldn’t talk to me for the first two days you were here,” she argued.

Gripping my jacket tightly, I wrung the thick material between my hands in frustration. How could I go about apologizing to her? I was playing games and I knew it, but I just felt so lost—I didn’t know how to proceed with her! Every time I felt as if I could move forward, something reminded me that I needed to hold back. I was definitely running circles around Rocky, but there was no way I could explain to her—let alone myself—why my feelings were so confused.

Right, wrong, devil, angel. She was the yin to my yang and always had been. Unfortunately, this devil still felt as if he didn’t deserve the angel.

My shoulders slumped forward in defeat. “Okay, fine. I guess that’s a fair assumption.”

“I guess I’m not as dense as you thought,” she muttered. “So care to tell me why the icy patch between us? Honestly, I was wondering why we didn’t cover the topic when we had burgers, but I guess I was just happy we were hanging out and didn’t want to press it.”

There were so many reasons, but somehow I knew they’d all hurt her. Choosing a truth that was less painful, I answered, “I guess I was a little scared to see you again.”

“Why?” she asked in disbelief.

“Not comfortable telling you that.”

“Oh my gosh! Are we back to that again?” She jammed her fingers into her keyboard and then shook her head in amused exasperation. “Wait, what the hell am I doing? I already clocked in. Shit.”

Once again falling back on humor, I let out a strained laugh. “Guess I still can get your panties in a twist.”

Her answering glare was frightening.

Okay, maybe that was a bad idea. Clearing my throat, I calmed my tone. “Honestly, I’m proud that you kissed me. I always wondered if you had the guts.”

She paused. “Wait, what are you talking about?”

“I could always tell you liked me a bit…” As soon as the words left my mouth, a lightbulb flicked off in my head. I knew exactly how to let her go. I didn’t want to, but I knew it was necessary to save both our sanities. My voice came out, sounding like a distant echo. “I just thought those feelings were misplaced.”

“Misplaced?”

That was when the word vomit started. Wait, it wasn’t even word vomit. It was flat out bullshit. Pungent, fly-infested bullshit.

“You were bored!” Just like that, the same mask I wore throughout high school was once again placed firmly across my face. Back when I was younger, I easily pushed people out of my life as a sense of self-preservation. Just because I was older didn’t mean I still couldn’t do so. Placing a cold look on my face, I remarked, “I was the high school bad boy. What naïve school girl wouldn’t fall for that?”

She slammed her hand against the counter, causing me to jump. “I’ll have you know that I was never naïve.”

“Never, huh?” I smirked.

“Give me one example.”

“You were bored, Rocky. You were too nice and too good to be doing half the stuff you did with me. Skip class, sneak out and party—it wasn’t in your nature.”

“If that’s the case, what do you think is in my nature? You’re basically calling me a wet blanket,” she scoffed.

“I didn’t say it was a bad thing.” I nodded my head sincerely. It was one of her most redeeming qualities. In a world full of drama, nothing felt better than something calm and predictable.

Still scowling, she shot back, “Now that you’re on the subject of being bad, why don’t we talk about what a horrible friend you’ve been? First cutting me out from your life with no reason and now insulting me.”

Ouch, okay, maybe we’ve gone too far.

Letting her go didn’t necessarily mean making her hate me. Deciding to reel it back a little, I pushed forward, leaning into her personal space. “Horrible, huh? What else do you think is bad, Rocky?”

She gulped. “I don’t know. War, famine?”

“That’s not what I meant.” My voice came out surprisingly deeper.

“If you’re talking about the kiss, I obviously think it’s bad now! I never should have done it.” Her eyes dropped down, avoiding mine.

My face and my heart couldn’t help but soften. “Like I said, I’m glad you did.”

“Oh? Why?”

“I’m not comfortable divulging that info.” Noticing the look of annoyance on her face, I quickly added, “And I’m not talking about the kiss.”

“Then what are you talking about?”

Her face grew pinker as the seconds ticked by. Fighting the urge to warm my cold hands with her cheeks, I took a slight step back. “I admit that it’s been off between us. Maybe that kiss was a way to put us back on the right track. You know, get back where we used to be.”

“I thought you said this wasn’t about the kiss.”

“Well, maybe a bit of it is,” I admitted.

“Fine, whatever.” She flicked her wrist around and sighed. “So where did we used to be, Jesse? And how can such a mortifying mistake make everything better?”

This was it. It was time to sever ties. “It’ll allow us to be Rocky and Jesse again! To be the two musketeers…err…plus Stephanie.”

“I’m not following. How is that stolen kiss supposed to make us friends?”

Biting the bullet, I said the words that I never wanted to speak. I spoke the words that I thought needed to be proclaimed to shield her from hurt—from me. It was all a part of my fucked of plan, but it still hurt like shit to do.

Grin and bear it, Jesse. Grin and bear it.

“It helped you realize that you never liked me to begin with, right?”

She frowned in disbelief.

“You just liked the idea of being with the bad boy. You know, because you were always a bad girl trying to come out. Now that we finally did the ‘forbidden,’ you realize your fantasy was better than reality. Of course you always did care about me as a friend as well, and that’s what I want to get back to.”

As the lies spilled out of my mouth, I found myself beginning to believe them. I coaxed and urged her on my imaginary trip, willing her to join my fallacy.

We both needed to face the truth. She had Ethan. I had my restaurant. She had Stephanie. I had…myself. We weren’t two peas in a pod anymore. We never were. We were two separate entities and the sooner we realized it, the better it would be for both of us. The longer we danced this waltz of delusion the longer it would take us to heal. We could never be “Rocky and Jesse” again. In fact, it was something we never were.

I must have stunned her into silence. She stood quietly and looked as if she wasn’t even blinking. Riding the waves of momentum, I continued, “We’ve finally gotten past your old feelings, and because you realize that you regret it, we can just move forward…err…move back…um, you know what I mean.”

The smile I wore on my face felt like one of those masks from Classic Greek theater. However, I wasn’t sure which of the two I brandished. Was I manic? Or was I basking in my darkness of outright grief?

Rocky finally moved from her catatonic state. She bit her lip and looked down pathetically, kicking at the floor. “Just so you know, I don’t do shit like that. Stealing kisses and stuff, I mean.”

“Ah, this boring prude thing is just an act,” I chided. “You can drop it around me, you know.”

“Who are you calling a prude?”

“Certainly not you. You wouldn’t have tried to suck my face off if you were,” I joked. Noticing her look of annoyance, I quickly wiped away my smile.

“I was just caught in the moment. You know, New Year’s night and everything.” She narrowed her eyes. “By the way, you’re wrong. It’s not putting us back on the right track. If anything, it put us back further than when we started because you are seriously annoying me right now.”

“Caught in the moment?” I looked at her incredulously. “Are you serious? What moment was that? A cheap sweaty night club with watered down drinks and lame music? Oh yeah, that was such an awesome moment, Rocky.” Curiosity suddenly getting the best of me, I asked, “Hey, is that why you only like tips? You have to be in a certain ‘moment’ or whatever?”

As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted them. I definitely crossed a line.

“You’re such an asshole.”

I held my hands up in defense. “I’m not trying to offend you or anything, but now I can see why you’re so weird with Ethan.”

“Really? You feel a need to bring him up again?” she practically groaned.

“Thought all girls liked talking about their boyfriends,” I replied glumly. Suddenly feeling hot again, I was more than relieved to hear the heater shut off.

“Why are you pestering me about this?”

And there it was, the answer to the nagging voice inside of me. If I were being specific I’d even say it was my dad’s voice. Maybe if I heard Rocky admit she actually liked doing all those things in the past, I wouldn’t feel so guilty about how everything turned out. Maybe Dad was right—I never did give her enough credit. I needed to hear that she wanted to do those things with me and didn’t just follow me around blindly.

Taking a moment to regain my composure, I explained, “Because I can see that after I left, you lost all ability to dabble into that wild side I know is in there. I never dragged you around with me; you did that all by yourself. You liked it.”

“What do you mean?” she asked meekly.

“You, Stephanie, and I made quite a trio, right? Stephanie, the wit of the group. You, the creative conscience, and me, the spice in what can only be described as a bland blend.”

“Really? You’re a Spice Girl now?”

I rolled my eyes. “What I’m saying is that the perception of our little group was nothing but bad assumptions.”

“Not following.”

“We all thought we were different, but we really weren’t. Our trio would never have worked if we weren’t all a bit similar to one another. I mean, look at Steph. She definitely learned how to explore her animalistic side. But you…”

“What about me?” I could almost see smoke blowing from her ears.

“Why are you trying to hold it back?” I demanded. “I’ve seen it before. Where did it go?”

Please tell me that I did not just spend my youth dragging your name in the mud and smearing your positive outlook on life. Please tell me that you enjoyed everything and that I wasn’t too influential on you.

She looked at me as if I had lost my mind. “I’m not trying to hold anything back. What ‘it’ are you even talking about?”

“The certain ‘it’ factor that, despite your naiveté, allowed you to call me out on my bullshit. The ‘it’ factor that, despite your good girl qualms, pushed you to party and skip class with me even if I could tell you were scared.”

Her lip quivered. “I only did those things because I cared about you! You were so caught up in a downward spiral that I was afraid you’d go under if nobody was with you to yank you back up. Also, I called you out on your bullshit because, just like right now, you can be a stupid son of a bitch. I followed you around to protect you!”

Okay, I did not see that coming. “Protect me? That skinny little girl with the bright pink retainer wanted to protect me?” I threw my head back and laughed at the visual. Teenaged Rocky couldn’t protect me from a ladybug.

“Not physically,” she snapped in irritation. “More along the line of keeping you in line.”

I bit my lip and narrowed my eyes, trying to get a read on her. “Why are you denying it, Rocky? Your bad side is desperately trying to get out. I mean, why else do you think you kissed me?”

“Like I said, I was caught in the moment.”

“Because I always represented your rebellious nature. Think about it; once your inner self saw me, she couldn’t contain herself!” Wow, I really should have gone to college and earned a degree in bullshit. I probably could have become a politician or something.

“Inner self? When the hell did you get into all this philosophical crap?”

Then again philosophy would have been good too.

“As odd as it sounds, I feel responsible for stunting your growth. Without me, you’d have remained the seventeen-year-old I left behind.” Without the warm air from the heater, the warehouse began to cool considerably. Rocky’s perky little nipples hardened enough to poke against the thick fabric of her sweater. Resolve weakening, my eyes dropped down to admire the sight. “Well, not all parts.”

“Is there a point to this?” she asked, completely oblivious to my gawking.

“My point is I want to prove to you that you never needed me to explore your rebellious side. It was always deep inside. It was in your soul.”

“This is the weirdest after school special ever.” She let out an exasperated breath.

If I wasn’t head deep in my ‘philosophical crap’ I could have laughed. “You wanted to be friends again, right? Like old times?”

“Yeah.”

Friends…such a bad word.

“Okay then. From this moment on, we are once again Rocky and Jesse…and Stephanie. I will show you that once we hang out together, it’ll awaken that little vixen I know you have inside you. Just give me some time to figure out how to get her out of whatever cage you put her in. I’ll show you there’s a rebel there. Shit, she showed herself on N-Y-E.”

“And then you left…again,” she pointed out.

“I promise I’ll never do that again.”

Liar!

Still looking doubtful, she asked, “What does any of this have to do with Ethan?”

“Ethan?” My gaze snapped up from her chest. Really? She had to bring him up now?

“You said that now you can see why I always acted a certain way with Ethan.”

“Oh.” My mouth curled into a perfect circle. “Um, just forget about it.”

“What? Why?”

“I said forget about it.” There was no way I’d admit that I was jealous of the motherfucker. He had nothing standing in his way, but I had the whole world against me. Before she could push further, I quickly headed toward the Dungeon. Once I stepped inside and wrapped the stupid apron around my waist, I realized just how stupid I was acting. There I was, working in a store I hated, doing work I hated, and for what? To push the girl I loved away?