Текст книги "One and Done"

Автор книги: S. Briones Lim

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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 16 страниц)

I really was such an idiot.

Chapter 23

Well my sense of idiocy tripled if not quadrupled within the next few days while her parents were away on a business trip. In my quest to prove my warped theory about her inner diva—as well as have some fun with her—I not only freaked her out with sex toys but practically drowned her in foam genitalia, butt plugs, and cock rings.

Rocky was furious, and I mean the ‘I-will-kill-you-while-you-sleep’ type of furious. Though my initial joke of shoving some bachelorette party favors in her face was pretty harmless and even resulted in a sale, I guess I did draw the line by booby trapping her workspace with more serious toys. The, ahem, type for professionals, if you know what I’m saying.

I knew she was ready to pounce on me from the moment I heard her scream my name over the intercom system. Truth be told, I was a bit scared and took my time walking toward the middle of the store. By the time I made it to the main register, Rocky was beet red and shaking with fury.

I gulped before asking, “Hey, boss. You wanted to see me?”

“What the hell is your problem?” she demanded.

I wish I could say what happened next was a mature, decent conversation where I was able to explain my actions and she was able to rebut, sharing her innermost feelings.

It wasn’t.

After pointing fingers back and forth, we were no better than the pile of butt plugs surrounding Rocky’s feet, which I had to admit, was a pretty funny sight. Unfortunately, that was the only thing humorous about the situation.

After being called a dick by Rocky (seriously that hurt like a bitch) and me retaliating by accusing her of only being concerned about money, I was certain that whatever weak foundation of a friendship we had left had all but crumbled. To make matters worse, Ethan chose that moment to show up, practically ready to lick Rocky’s face off!

Since there was no way I’d stay to watch whatever fucking lovefest was going on between them, I quickly busied myself by plucking all the sex toys off the floor, trying my best to ignore whatever the hell they were talking about. However, I couldn’t help but glance over at Ethan, who kept throwing discreet looks at the toys littering the floor.

Bet he’s wondering which to use on Rocky.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I shifted slightly so that my back blocked his view. I quickly threw the last dolphin head into the box and abruptly stood just as Ethan was on his way out.

“Bye,” Rocky called after him as I purposely nudged her with my shoulder.

She turned around and sneered in my direction. “Hey, what’s the big idea?”

Without answering, I gripped the heavy box and pushed my way toward the Dungeon. I needed to get away from it all. Most of all, I needed to get away from her.

“Well, you were successful in your quest, Jesse.” I dropped the box at my feet and kicked it away. “Somebody was finally let go…too bad it was you.”

***

Pissing off Rocky was just the tip of the iceberg to my otherwise horrible day. Later that evening, I pulled up to my house and noticed a strange car parked in my driveway.

“What the fuck?” I muttered angrily, placing my car into park. I jumped out of my high SUV and slammed the door with enough force to shake the damn thing. I was about twenty feet away from the door when a chorus of laughs emanated loudly from the inside. Something in me snapped. It was as if repressed memories were awakened and flooded my brain, causing a rush of heat to fly through my veins.

“Little get togethers.”

That was what my mother used to call them. Fucking get togethers. It was such an innocent name for what was nothing more than a bunch of immature adults drinking and smoking their way into a stupor. There would be many nights when I’d come home to find my mom shirtless and passed out on the floor next to her ‘friends,’ and let me tell you, there’s nothing more traumatic than having to peel your unconscious mother off the floor to get her dressed. If I shut my eyes and imagine hard enough, I could still smell the burnt popcorn that surrounded her and the gross stench of alcohol and old vomit on her shirt.

Eyes glazed over, I shook the thought from my mind and with the fury of a hundred starving lions, I burst through the door.

“Jesse!” My mother choked back a cough. Her eyes danced excitedly. “Glad you’re home.”

Was she drunk?

A movement in my periphery caught my eye. Dumbfounded, I watched as a bright-eyed young woman stood up and extended her hand. “Hello, I’m Michelle.”

I frowned at the freckled face. “Hello?”

Obviously sensing my confusion, she explained, “I’m from the Home Care Agency that you sent an inquiry to. Um, your mother actually set up this meeting to interview me as a potential nurse.”

“Potential nurse,” I repeated with a sigh of relief. I’d take a nurse over a new drinking buddy any day. “Hope my mom was cordial.”

Mom flashed me what looked like a kind smile, but I could see right through it. Had Michelle not been standing there, she would have snapped, berated me, and just been downright nasty. Mom snuck me a smirk before turning back to the woman. “Michelle has been telling me all about her skills and expertise. We were actually waiting on you to come home so you could meet her.”

“And your mom is an excellent host. I could actually see us getting along really well.” Michelle grinned, brushing back a few locks of her fiery red hair.

Red.

Warning flags again?

Examining our new nurse, I couldn’t help but wonder whether she was either totally oblivious, or just one really good actress.

My mom’s an excellent liar too. She’ll manipulate you in no time…unless that’s what you’re planning to do to her, which in any case, welcome aboard!

I finally forced a smile. “Well, looks like you two have already made up your mind on this arrangement. There’s really no need for me to put my two cents in.”

Michelle’s smile quickly faded. “Um, I hope I didn’t offend you. I didn’t mean that I had this job for sure. It’s just—”

I cut her off. “Don’t worry about it.”

Seriously, you need thick skin to work for her.

Michelle nodded in relief, turning back toward the couch. Taking advantage of her turned back, Mom threw me a scowl, but kept her voice kind. “I told Michelle it was important she meet you before we moved forward.”

“Why?” I asked blankly. “I gave you the list; you picked one, end of story.”

Mom inhaled, causing her tank to tick a bit louder than usual. “Because we said we’d decide together, of course. I couldn’t say yes without your blessing.”

“Because I’m paying?” I shot back.

That was all it took for my mom’s mask to fall off. Unable to keep her kind facade, she snapped, “Because I need your signature on the contract.”

The fact that we hadn’t scared Michelle off was a good sign. Snorting, I shook my head and turned back toward the poor soul who had no idea what she was in for. “When can you start?”

“Seriously?” Her eyes widened. “But you didn’t even interview me.”

I shrugged. “Anyone who gets along with my mom this well is a winner to me. So? When can you start? Would you be able to start tomorrow? I really need to get back to my business in Charleston and if I need to train you, I need to start now.”

Her jaw dropped. “Well, needless to say this is beyond protocol but I see no problem with it.”

“Good.” I was already turning toward the door.

“Um, when are you planning to leave?” she asked in confusion.

“I just have to tie up some loose ends first…”

***

It was as if I was dragged across town by some magical force. Whipping in and out of traffic, slowing at stop signs and lights—I was a zombie if not a robot under mind control. I don’t even know how I made it to Rocky’s house, but before I knew it I was parked across the street, gaping at the foreign red two-seater sitting pretty behind Rocky’s old car. There was no way her parents came home from their work convention early (nor drove that ostentatious piece of shit) and I doubted it belonged to her sister, Emily, either.

“Shit, that must mean…” My voice trailed off just as Ethan walked past an open window looking as cheesy as ever. Heat rushed through my extremities, culminating at my hands, which gripped my steering wheel tightly. I pried each finger off quickly; worried I’d do something as crazy as rip the wheel off my dashboard.

What are you doing? Just leave! What loose ends do you need to tie up? Rocky obviously hates you!

But I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t even move. I was frozen, staring into a house where the one woman I continued to push away had finally fallen into the arms of another man.

“What did you expect to happen? That she’d wait for you again?” I spat out with distaste.

The front door opened with a bang, startling me. I sucked in my breath and scooted down into my seat, worried that Rocky would catch a glimpse of me. However, it wasn’t Rocky at the door. Ethan jumped from the cement step, tossing his keys in his hand. Like tiny bells, his keys jingled in the night, a song of happiness—a song that wasn’t mine. As if feeling my presence, his gaze immediately jumped to my car and though I was hidden behind the darkness of night and behind tinted glass somehow I knew that he saw me. A smug smile rested on his face, and for the first time I noticed his messy hair and haphazardly thrown on sweater, which was wrinkled as if somebody had been gripping onto its sides. My stomach lurched with the realization of what he and Rocky must have been doing inside.

“Well, your plan worked, genius. Rocky’s finally gone.” I waited until Ethan peeled off before I restarted my car. I threw one last glance at her house, feeling an odd sense of déjà vu. Stifling a chuckle, I shook my head and drove off. “Goodbye again, Rocky.”

Chapter 24

Knock. Knock.

“Jesse! Get your ass over to the front door and answer it.” My mother coughed twice as she struggled to get the words out of her mouth. Those coughs were the only thing stopping me from snapping back at her. I was really not in the mood for her shit that day.

Rolling my eyes, I opened the door to a shivering Michelle. Her red hair was tucked into an oversized knit cap and her teeth were chattering so hard I could have sworn I heard their impact above the whistling breeze.

“Hey, come on in.” I lifted my eyebrows in surprise, completely forgetting that I had insisted she begin work immediately.

“T-thanks,” she stammered as she rubbed her gloved hands over her arms. “I-i-t’s freezing out there!”

“I bet,” I replied glumly, staring longingly outside. I knew I had hit rock bottom when I favored sitting in an igloo outside over being cooped up with my mother…or going to Rossi’s Novelties.

“Sorry, I’m late,” she said as she peeled off her gigantic jacket. Not only was the navy blue monstrosity thick, but it went down to her ankles! How the hell was she still cold?

“Yeah, about that…” The corners of my mouth dipped low. “Honestly, I was in the middle of an emotional upheaval last night and well…I kind of forgot that I told you to come.”

Her eyes widened. “Does that mean I don’t have the job?”

“No!” I answered quickly. Calming my voice, I smiled apologetically. “I mean, of course not. There’s no way we could let go of a good nurse like you. I just wasn’t prepared to train you today.”

“Phew! That’s a relief. Talk about someone having an emotional upheaval.” She reached out and squeezed my arm, causing me to jump back quickly. With a sly smile on her face, she coyly asked, “Girlfriend gets jealous?”

“Huh?” I blinked in confusion.

She nodded her head toward my arm as if wary of touching me again. “You flinched when I touched you. Don’t worry, dude, I’m taken.”

For the first time I noticed the gigantic rock on her left finger. She was taken all right. Taken by someone who was loaded. The rock was so big that it almost looked fake, but judging by the smirk on her face it was five carats worth of real. It’s probably the kind of rock a guy like Ethan would give Rocky.

Shaking it off, I muttered, “Well, congratulations, and no, I’m not seeing anyone. Hence, no jealousy.”

Michelle lifted an eyebrow but didn’t respond. Instead she placed her jacket on the nearby couch, taking a moment too long bent over. It vaguely reminded me of Sarah back in art class and I immediately felt uneasy. I’m all about seduction or what not, but I drew the line at cheating.

“Um, coat closet is around the corner.” I shook my head and frowned.

She snorted knowingly and shook her head. “It’s obvious that this girlfriend or lack thereof really has you twisted inside. Just relax.”

I kept my lips pressed together firmly, definitely not appreciating her unsolicited comments. Brushing her off, I began to point to different rooms around the house. “Bedroom, bath, kitchen—”

“Why don’t you just fix things with this girlfriend of yours?” she interrupted. “It’s almost painful watching you.”

“Are you still talking?” I blurted without thinking. Mom must have heard because she burst out laughing in a nearby room.

Michelle shrugged, throwing me an innocent look. “All I’m saying is that there really is no use sitting around miserable when you can totally do something about it.”

“Point taken.” I rubbed at my eyebrows and sighed. “Well, we might as well begin training, yeah?”

She shrugged again, her smirk never leaving her face. “Whatever you say, boss.”

“I hired you to take care of my mother,” I grunted. “As far as you’re concerned, she’s the boss around here.”

“That’s too bad…” She took a deep breath and sighed. “I always wanted an alpha male for a boss.”

I stopped in my tracks. “What are you even talking about?”

“Gosh, can you lighten up? I was just referencing some books I read. Do you even understand pop culture or are you so far down your hole of despair to not get any of it?”

Great, another Stephanie with her elf porn.

“Yeah, you better not read on the job,” I muttered.

“Speaking of jobs, your mom mentioned you having one here in town. I take it you’re off today?” There was some sass in her voice, which led me to wonder what she was getting at.

I shook my head. “I don’t have a job…here in Bethel Falls anyway.”

She eyed me knowingly. “That’s where the girl works, right? The one you’re in love with? I’m surprised someone who looks as manly as you do is too chicken to go after her. Seriously, men are so transparent.”

Of course my mother wouldn’t have any qualms gossiping about me.

“You know what? I can’t even dignify that statement with an answer,” I shot back angrily.

“Didn’t expect you to.”

I was walking the line of whether to fire her or not when my phone vibrated in my pocket. Frowning, I snuck a peek at the number that flashed on the screen and felt an unexpected jolt of excitement when I realized it was a number I didn’t recognize.

Maybe it’s Rocky.

I glanced over my shoulder to find Michelle attempting to catch a glimpse of my phone. Catching eyes, she blushed and took a step back.

“I have to take this. I’ll be back.”

“I bet you do.” Michelle’s grin was sickening.

With a shake of my head, I walked toward my kitchen, desperate to escape her prying eyes. “Hello?”

“Jesse!” A mouse-like voice screamed in my ear. “Where are you?”

Guess the excitement wasn’t unwarranted after all. “Is this Rocky?”

“Who else would it be? Where are you? I was worried! You could have at least called in to tell us you were missing work.”

Just like that my heart plummeted. Why did I expect she’d call? To tell me she dumped Ethan? Even if that were true, it wouldn’t change anything anyway.

“How’d you get this number?” I asked, fighting off pangs of disappointment.

“I’m your employer. I have it on file.”

“Your dad is my employer.”

“Jesse, let’s cut the crap. Where are you?” I could almost imagine her tapping the toes of her little feet and crossing her arms in a cartoonish manner. God was she cute.

“Why do you care?” I blurted out, thinking about what I saw the night before.

“Uh, because you were supposed to be here four hours ago!”

“Is that all?” I couldn’t let go of the small hint of hope that she missed me.

Selfish, just like your mother.

She waited for a beat before saying, “Huh?”

“Is that the only reason why you called me? Because I missed work?” My voice came out a bit sterner than I had intended, but I couldn’t help myself.

“Yes, of course.”

Ugh. Arrow to the heart.

“Did you tell your girlfriend you miss her?” Michelle’s annoying voice called out from the den. Without answering, I quickly ran toward my room and shut the door. I already didn’t like the bitch, but for what it was worth I knew she’d get along great with my mom.

“Where are you?” Rocky asked almost accusingly.

Suddenly feeling exhausted, I wanted to end the conversation fast. My world was going around in circles and it wouldn’t stop until I left Bethel Falls for good. “Rocky, I’m going to miss work today.”

“I see that.” She sighed. “Are you coming in tomorrow?”

I shut my eyes. How could I ever go back after everything I put her through? How could I ever look at her knowing that another man was lucky enough to have her in his arms, but I couldn’t?

Nope. I couldn’t do it.

Through gritted teeth I responded, “You know what? I don’t think so.”

“Fuck, Jesse!” she screeched, surprising me. “What the hell is wrong with you? Is this about our fight yesterday?”

“Everything has to be about you, right?” Of course it was. It had always been about her.

“That’s not what I’m saying.” Though she tried her hardest to mask the pain in her voice, there was no mistaking the slight tremor in her tone.

This was my life, wasn’t it? Even when I tried to be a good guy I ended up hurting someone who didn’t deserve it. I must have done something horrible in a past life to deserve such karmic punishment.

Swallowing back a lump of guilt that formed in my throat, I whispered, “You know what? I’ll tell you everything one day, but for now—”

“You’re not comfortable, I get it!”

“Goodbye, Rocky.”

It’s for your own good.

“Jesse!”

I lowered the phone from my ear and stared at it. I watched as the screen shut off to black like the darkness in my soul. Life wasn’t fair, was it? Sometimes looking out for the ones you love most meant dragging your heart through the mud. For whatever karmic punishment I deserved, maybe this was my way of making up for it.

“Michelle doesn’t need training,” I whispered. “I need to stop dragging this out and leave tomorrow.”

Chapter 25

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

“That’ll be sixty-eight dollars and seventy-five cents…hello? Hello? Mister, are you all right?”

Snapping out of my trance, I blinked quickly and saw the cashier waving his hands in front of my face.

“Dude, you okay?” The teenaged boy shifted his weight from one foot to the other and glanced down at his phone. “I can call 911 if you want…unless…are you high or something?”

Not high. More like low. I’m only leaving my sick mom and running away from the girl I love, but yeah, I’m fine.

I nodded dumbly and swiped my card into the reader. The boy looked at me funny before shrugging his shoulders. “Man, if this is what I have to look forward to when I get older then I don’t want it.”

I snorted and grabbed my groceries, placing about four bags on each arm. “Trust me, if I could be young forever, I would. Take it easy, my man.”

It was funny how something as mundane as grocery shopping could hold such a significant weight. As I drove home I found myself glancing back at the pile of plastic bags and feeling a bit guilty that my last act in Bethel Falls was nothing more than stocking the pantry of my old house. I mean, sure Mom had a nurse to take care of her and sure, we’d all just return to the lives we’ve known and loved for the past five years…yet a part of me still felt as if I should be doing something more significant for my last hurrah. Maybe buy out an ad in a newspaper to wish bon voyage to the people I loved…and hurt. Maybe I could have bought cakes for everyone and left them on their porches to be frozen by the freak snow of Bethel Falls. But nope, I was just stocking up the house with canned foods and fruit.

I turned into my cul-de-sac and almost screeched to a stop. Toward the opposite end of the street, right under a dying oak tree, there was a car that looked like the one Rocky drove.

“I must be seeing things,” I murmured with a shake of my head. “It’s just like those movies where the guy sees his girl’s face all over the place.”

Trudging up the steps to my house, I heard a feminine voice coming from inside. Figuring that Michelle had once again shown up early, I braced myself for a barrage of unsolicited advice when suddenly…

My mom’s raspy voice echoed through the empty hallway. “It’s because he was worried about dragging you down with him.”

“What?” I heard Rocky gasp and immediately felt my heart plummet.

“It was also because he was worried he’d be dragged back here—”

“Mom!” I ran into the den as fast as I could, vaguely aware that my bags of groceries were emptying their contents onto the floor.

“Jesse!” Rocky jumped to her feet, looking like a kid who had just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

“What are you doing here?” I demanded, shooting a worried glance at my mother. What could she have said to her?

“I-I…”

“Looking for me?” My eyes closed. What else would she be doing here? Certainly not visiting with my mother. When I opened my eyes I found Rocky on the floor, anxiously grabbing groceries and putting them into piles by my ripped bags. I shook my head in disgust. Rocky should never be cleaning up after anyone. Especially not me. “What did she tell you?”

A flash of orange flew across my eyes. Rocky smiled sheepishly, holding a fruit in front of my face. I shook my head in exasperation and pushed the citrus away.

“Um, just that—”

“You were leaving her again,” Mom answered for her. There was no mistaking the glee in her tone. Even after five years apart she still loved to see me squirm.

“No, she didn’t tell me that.” Rocky’s voice dropped a few octaves. It was obvious she was lying.

“Well, she should have.” My annoyance with my mother won out over my innate need to sugarcoat things for Rocky.

“So it’s true?” she squeaked. She glanced toward my mother, a look of pity washing over her face. “You’re really going to leave her like this? How can you even look at yourself in the mirror?”

“How can she look at herself? I tried, I really did. I wanted to make things better between us and she’s just here calling me a failure and acting like the bad mom she always was.” I didn’t care if my mom was in the same room. She needed to hear this! Seriously, why was I the only one who saw how badly she treated me?

“Stop right there, Jesse. You’re really going to talk about your sick mom like that?”

I swallowed back the lump that was growing in my throat. “You’re right.”

Preparing for battle, Rocky’s face visibly fell in surprise. “I am?”

A wild idea flashed through my head, a habit that always seemed to surface when shit was about to hit the fan. There was a way I could still leave, but without a heavy heart. It was my best idea yet. Before I could talk myself out of it, I reached out and grabbed her by her delicate wrist. “Come on.”

“What?” She blinked quickly.

“Nothing I say can make you understand. I have to show you.” Let me take it back. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea I had, but definitely the craziest. I yanked Rocky, causing her to fly toward me.

Rocky’s eyes flashed hysterically. “Where are we going? I have work! Your mom—”

“Has a nurse coming,” I interjected. “I’ve been doing research ever since I arrived and hired her yesterday.”

“When you didn’t come in. Of course,” Rocky whispered knowingly. She looked up slowly, pulling her lips apart so that her teeth shone like a wild animal. They sparkled brightly under the dim fluorescent light. If I didn’t know better, I’d say she was ready to take a chunk out of my flesh. “Why would I go anywhere with you?”

Instinctively I let go of her wrist and yanked my arm back just in case she did go for a bite. “I know I haven’t been that open with you and the reason is…”

“What, Jesse? More bullshit?”

“Listen, I—”

Crap, how the hell was I going to do this? I knew how I felt. I could feel it in my heart, but all the thoughts I had in my head just felt so jumbled up—there were no words to describe everything.

How I still loved her.

How I knew she still loved me.

Why our lives were too different to converge.

I peeked up cautiously. “You’re an artist and you know that a picture is worth a thousand words, right?”

“You’re going to show me a picture?” she asked doubtfully.

Ah, my Rocky. As sarcastic as ever.

“No, I’m going to show you something even better. Something that’ll make you understand everything I’ve kept from you. Just…please come with me. It’s important.” Deciding that she wouldn’t bite me, I grabbed her wrist again, yearning for the need to feel her skin on mine.

She remained quiet and for a moment I feared that I had actually caused her to lose her mind. Luckily she took a breath and finally spoke. “I have work. You know, the job you left behind?”

“So call someone in. I’m sure you can pull strings,” I yelped out desperately. She had about eight hundred family members. I was sure at least one of them could come in to cover for her. “What about Belle?”

“Seriously? She’d be on the phone with my parents in no time, probably making up a stupid lie. Besides, I already switched shifts with Maurice in order to come over here. He’s about to get off soon, meaning I need to relieve him.”

Okay, there went that plan.

Still holding onto her arm, I led her onto the front porch, desperate to escape my mother’s ears. That was all I needed, an audience to tell our gossip obsessed nurse about my soap opera life.

“Isn’t there anybody you can call?” I was desperate. I needed this sense of closure before I disappeared permanently.

Rocky shook her head, sucking in shallow breaths. She was definitely anxious. “Where are we going? You can’t just expect me to pick up and leave with you.”

“Of course not. I don’t expect anything from you.”

She certainly didn’t owe me anything.

Her face folded into the angriest expression I had ever seen on her. Once her upper lip began to twitch, I knew I had officially crossed the line. “What if I’m not comfortable? Ever think about that, Mr. Secrecy? What if I’m sick of your bullshit?”

“Please,” I heard myself plead. “I’d like to show you something. It would mean a lot.”

It felt like an eternity had passed before Rocky’s face softened. She slumped forward and took a deep breath. “Fine. Let me call Justin. He’s my backup key holder in case I caught the flu or something.”

A wave of relief flashed over me. She really was a great person. Even I couldn’t have expected her to throw me a favor, especially considering how I’d been treating her. That was exactly why I didn’t deserve her.

“Thank you.” I walked backwards toward the far pillar on my porch, giving her room to basically lie to her employee. As a boss myself, I could only imagine how torn up she must have felt about the whole situation, which further convinced me that I owed her big time. When I heard her hang up, I glanced up with a smile. “You could win an Oscar.”

“Shut up.” To my disappointment she jammed her hands into her pockets. There went any chance of holding them. Biting her lip, she looked up hesitantly. “Where are we going?

“Charleston.”