Текст книги "One and Done"

Автор книги: S. Briones Lim

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Текущая страница: 5 (всего у книги 16 страниц)

Chapter 8

I’m not a creeper, I promise. However, I admit that everything I did on homecoming night was nothing short of stalker.

First, there was the fact that I sat at the precise street corner, at the precise angle, and at the precise time Rocky was leaving for the dance. I really didn’t know why I did it, but chalked it up to being a masochist with an undying need to torture myself with something that I couldn’t have.

I remained hidden behind a bush, muttering curse words under my breath. “Dwight better not fucking show up if he knows what’s good for him.”

Okay, if I were being honest, maybe I was there to find out if Rocky had lied to me after all. Not that I could fault her; I mean, I had made my feelings about Dwight well known. Still, I couldn’t quiet down my incessant need to protect her from a condom-bearing, horny meathead.

To my relief, it wasn’t Dwight who rolled up to her driveway. I sighed with relief once I heard Steph’s annoying chatter echo through the street.

“Come on! We’re late!” she hissed. “I told you not to spend too long fixing your hair. Look at it! It looks exactly the same.”

Daniel’s shoulders slumped forward. “You know she’s gonna do nothing but cock block us, right? I was hoping we’d have some time together tonight.”

“Like you’d be getting some regardless,” Stephanie replied with a laugh.

I smirked, watching the two bicker as they knocked on the front door. If those two didn’t disturb the neighborhood, I didn’t know what would. I was about ready to plug my ears when suddenly all arguments ceased. In fact, all three of us immediately stilled.

When Rocky walked out of the house…it was as if the world stopped turning. All birds were hushed, crickets quieted, and breezes ceased. Rocky was…I don’t know? Gorgeous? Radiant?

“Beautiful,” I whispered.

Her long hair was piled up into dark curls on the top of her head, making her look like a goddess from Olympus. From her cherry red dress that draped in the front to her golden shoes and accessories, she was like a muse—my muse. All she was missing was a lyre and a cup of ambrosia.

Longing tugged at my bones as I watched the Rossis swarm around the girls (and Daniel), snapping pictures and putting them in ridiculous poses.

“I should be there with her,” I muttered, watching Rocky laugh along with her family. “I should be the one in those pictures.”

Those five stages of grief had nothing on me. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression—the only stage I skipped was acceptance.

I should have been going to that stupid dance.

I should be with Rocky.

My mother shouldn’t be a raging alcoholic.

My father shouldn’t be marrying some woman who isn’t my mom.

Ignoring my better judgement, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the flask I had swiped from my mother’s dresser that morning. I took a swig of liquid courage and headed toward the school. I knew it was stupid, but I was Jesse Tyler after all.

***

Okay, I take that back. I was stupid. A downright unintelligible amoeba. Why did I have to follow Rocky to that dumb school? Why?

Sure, things started off well at first. We joked, we laughed, and I could almost see the look of contentment in Rocky’s eyes, and God, did her eyes look especially beautiful under the field lights. I was lost in her chocolate browns and entranced by the gold ring surrounding them. Feeling an indescribable need to remember her eyes forever, I did what any other kid my age would do; I grabbed her camera, marking the event with a selfie.

Despite the smile on my face, I’d felt a horrible tugging in my gut. We’d be separated soon enough. It would only be a matter of months until she moved away to college. She deserved it, of course. She needed to have all her dreams come true, but I didn’t want to let her go. That’s why I promised her that if we ever left town, we’d leave together…

Yeah…It sounds like romantic shit, but yet another one of my brash decisions fucked everything up.

“You had to leave her alone on the field, didn’t you? Then you had to take the blame for everything.”

Like an idiot, I made the valiant decision to steal my portrait back from the art teacher that swiped it from her. Again, it was a romantic idea, but with a horrible, horrible, result. Not only was she found loitering on the football field, but she was found with my flask! I couldn’t let her to take the fall for me. Never once and never will.

“And now you’re expelled and moving to Charleston. Perfect,” I grunted to myself. I exhaled deeply, running through the empty streets. My shoes thumped against the slick asphalt, but falling wasn’t a worry of mine. I needed to get to Rocky’s house quick. I hoped to God her parents hadn’t barricaded her inside, especially since they’d looked ready to kill me in Mr. Elliott’s office. I couldn’t really blame them.

It was my liquor.

It was my fault Rocky was outside waiting for me.

Everything was my fault—I shouldn’t have even been there in the first place!

“Forget about it, Jess. Just focus on getting to her. You need to tell her you’re leaving. It needs to come from you.”

I skidded to a stop once I reached the Rossis’ driveway. It was as if a giant force field pushed back against me, freezing each limb until I clammed up, unable to move. Mr. Rossi stood in front, trembling with rage.

“Mr. Rossi—”

“What are you doing here?” He cut me off, breathing heavily. His big belly rose and fell, betraying his staggered breaths.

“I want—need—to see Rocky.”

One step after the other, he bounded toward me, shaking his fist in the air. Surprisingly, his voice was eerily calm. “Leave. Now.”

“I need to talk to her,” I pleaded. I glanced up at her window, desperate to see her face one last time.

“Leave!” he shouted.

“But—”

Without another word, he turned toward his front door and quietly stalked away.

Surprised he didn’t pick me up and throw me toward the street. I scratched my head, staring at his retreating figure, thankful for my dumb luck. Yet I knew better than to stand out there for long. Mr. Rossi was up to something. I just didn’t know what.

Quickly, I ran toward the front lawn, listening to the grass crunch as I positioned myself under Rocky’s bedroom window.

“Rocky! Rocky! Open up!”

There was a slight rustling amid the baby blue curtains before a makeup-streaked face peered between the cloth. “Jesse! What are you doing here? If my parents see you here, they’ll kill you!”

How was I supposed to tell the one person I cared about that I may never see her again? Feeling my soul crumble, I cried out, “They’re making me leave, Rocky.”

“What?” Her face was one of fear-stricken panic. “Who?”

“My parents. My dad.” I gulped, fighting back a feeling of hysteria that pushed against my core. “That’s why he’s coming up. He actually should be here in a few hours.”

“Wait, you’re moving?” Her voice was barely a squeak.

“My mom kicked me out. I have to move to Charleston.” Saying each word out loud was like a knife being twisted inside my chest. The pain was almost unbearable.

“No!” she screeched almost angrily. “You can’t leave.”

The tears I tried so hard to fight began to fall. Luckily, it was probably too dark for her to see them roll down my cheeks, but truthfully I wouldn’t care if she did. Maybe then she’d finally see how much she really meant to me. “I’m sorry, Rocky.” I bit back another sob. “I’m also sorry for leaving you tonight. I was getting this for you. For us.”

I unfolded the portrait—the stupid picture that I risked everything for. The stupid sketch that caused me to lose it all.

“Wait, you stole it from the Art Department?” she gasped.

If this was really the last time I’d be seeing her, I really needed her to know the truth behind my feelings. Whether the universe was against us or not, I needed to take my stand. Taking one last breath, I lifted my chin and did my best to catch her beautiful eyes. “I…I needed to prove to you that I lo—”

“Rocky! Who are you talking to? Is that…Jesse Tyler! You better get out of here if you know what’s good for you.”

Ah, so there was Mr. Rossi.

A look of annoyance flashed over Rocky’s face. “Jesse, wait there! I’m going—”

There was some yelling and a bit of a scuffle that followed. Though I wanted desperately to barge into the house to make sure Rocky was okay I thought better of it, finally making my first good decision in a long time. Rocky would only be ‘okay’ if I wasn’t there. Her father was angry because of me—she was in trouble because of me.

I needed to leave, but that didn’t mean it would be forever.

“I’ll be back, Rocky.” Recalling the stupid pact I made with her that night, I added, “Remember my promise! We’ll leave together!”

Chapter 9

The edge of the paper fluttered in the wind, threatening to fly away. I tightened my grip and bit back a sob. Crying didn’t come easy for me. Even when I was constantly berated by my mother for being scum, I never shed a tear. Yet, seeing Rocky’s face crumble with defeat broke whatever emotional wall I had built around my heart.

I ran. I kept running, hoping that everything was just a nightmare. I sprinted through town ignoring the stares and the whispers of my narrow-minded neighbors and ran past the small sign separating the ‘good’ part of town from the ‘bad.’ As I neared my house I found myself wondering why I was in such a hurry. It wasn’t home—definitely not anymore. Regardless, I had nowhere else to go.

With my heart beating loudly, crying out in pain, I rounded the corner toward my house and skidded to a stop. My boxers, jeans, shirts—every single item of clothing I owned—was scattered on my front lawn.

“Mom! What are you doing?” I stomped over to the ripped window screen and peered past the loose flap to find my mother on a rampage. Her head was barely visible, hidden in my closet. “Mom! Stop it!”

She turned around furiously, eyes flashing wildly. Her hair was a ball of frizz caked with dry food and dandruff. “I am so glad to finally get rid of you, you no good bastard! Go! Go to fucking Charleston and go ruin your daddy’s perfect new marriage while you’re at it.”

Something inside me finally snapped. Without thinking twice, I lunged toward the window, pulling against the nylon grid. “Stop blaming me for your bullshit! You wonder why your life is so fucked up? It’s not me who’s fucked up in the head, it’s you! You want somebody to love you? Then stop loving that fucking bottle! You want to have a marriage that works? Stop using your husband’s money to feed your addiction! Get some help, you worthless excuse for a mother!”

Mom’s pale lips trembled slightly, and even behind her bloodshot eyes I saw pain. Now, I may not have been perfect, and though I was hurt, I still found it in myself to feel a bit horrible. That guilt was short-lived.

“You son of a bitch!” she screamed back, chucking a pair of sneakers toward my face.

I dodged the rubber soles just in time and smacked my tongue in anger. I refrained from reminding her that technically, she would be the bitch in that situation, and kept my face cold. “Have fun taking care of yourself, you leech.”

“Don’t you even dare set foot into this house again! Stay away from me.” An audible sob escaped her throat as she turned back to wrecking more of my stuff.

Feeling emotionally exhausted, I finally lost all my will to fight back. Swallowing twice, I took a few steps away from the window and asked, “When’s Dad coming?”

Instead of answering, she pushed herself from my closet and walked toward my bedroom door. Turning at the threshold, she lifted her chin. “Goodbye, Jesse.”

I laughed, not knowing what else to do. “Goodbye indeed.”

***

A cold breeze traveled up the thin cotton of my shirt. Trying hard to fall asleep, I shivered and curled up tighter, burying myself in the scratchy dead grass of our lawn. I stared at the piles of clothing littering the yard, and though I was tempted to throw some on, my pride stopped me. I didn’t want any of that stuff. If Mom was keen on throwing me out, I didn’t want anything she touched.

I must have finally dozed off, because I didn’t hear him walk up beside me. In fact, I didn’t even wake up until I felt the toe of his shoe nudge me slightly against the shin. “Jesse? What the hell are you doing out here?”

It was as if Hades himself had manifested in front of me. I froze, debating on whether to pretend to continue sleeping or whether to jump to my feet and run away.

“Jesse?” he repeated curiously.

Deciding that it was probably better to bite the bullet, I pried my eyes open and pushed myself into a seated position. “You got here fast.”

“I rushed over once your mother called me. Needless to say, I am very disappointed in you.”

My blurry vision cleared to find a man who looked a bit older than the last time I’d seen him. Lines now bordered his lips and around the corners of his eyes…Wait a minute. Those new lines and wrinkles weren’t from old age—they were from happiness. Laugh lines, smile lines…Dad was happy. I didn’t know whether to feel angry, betrayed, or even jealous.

“Surprised you cared,” I muttered, tempted to lay back down to warm myself. “Guess there’s a first time for everything.”

Dad took a deep breath and bent forward, grabbing onto my arm. “Let’s warm you up. You’re freezing cold.”

He didn’t have to ask me twice. Instead of fighting back, I allowed myself to be led toward his car—a brand new SUV, which looked out of place along our beat-up street.

“Far cry from the old beater, eh?” I snorted.

“Jesse, don’t start,” Dad warned. “I’ve come into a lot of money considering my paycheck isn’t being used to fund a drug addiction.”

“You could have stopped that, you know,” I reminded him. I jumped into the front seat, and though I tried my hardest not to look too grateful, I couldn’t help myself. I let out a sigh of relief as the blast of the heater warmed my face. The feeling once again returned to my skin as my body thawed itself slowly—painfully.

“Same goes with you,” Dad snapped.

“I’m the child, remember? You should have acted like an adult for once instead of running away.”

Dad’s eyes shut tightly and his chest heaved up and down. His nostrils flared slightly, creating a wheezing noise as the air passed in and out.

I let out my own puff of air. “Feeling guilty, eh?”

Eyelids snapping open, he turned to me and scowled. “If you recall, I’ve been sending you some money. I’m guessing you never used any of it?”

I shook my head and smirked. “What would I do with blood money?”

Definitely not responding to my sarcasm well, Dad snapped, “Is it inside?”

I nodded. “All there. Under my mattress.”

His shoulders sagged forward with a groan. “Stay in the car. I’m going inside and getting it before your mom finds it. Don’t want the corner mini-mart to be bought out of liquor, do we?”

“Whatever.”

He shot me a look and begrudgingly stomped his way inside the house. Realizing I didn’t want to watch a train wreck happen, I looked away and grabbed my phone out of my pocket. I was no better than my father. I ran away from Rocky when shit hit the fan. No. I would not let it end like that. I needed her to know that I would keep my promise.

I’ll come back for you.

 

I quickly hit send and held my breath, waiting for Rocky’s reply. Unfortunately, I was met with nothing but silence.

“They probably took away her phone…or maybe they’re arguing…or…” It didn’t matter how many excuses I could make up in my head. Deep down I knew it really was the beginning of the end.

“Get out of my house, you asshole!” Mom’s shrill voice cut through the silent night, momentarily distracting me. Like a banshee’s war cry, her voice bounced through the street, ricocheting between the houses. Hell, I was surprised the cops hadn’t been called yet.

Dad stomped angrily toward the car, dead grass crunching under his heavy soled boots with each step. Jumping into his seat he shoved a wad of bills into my chest. “I’d appreciate it if you understood the value of money.”

“I do,” I replied blankly. “Just not yours.”

He threw me an annoyed look and gestured toward the yard. “Grab your stuff and let’s go.”

I shook my head and frowned. “Leave it. I don’t want any of it.”

Dad opened his mouth as if to reply, and thinking better of it, buckled his seatbelt. “Fine. Suit yourself.”

As the car began to accelerate, I realized I still hadn’t received a text back. Feeling frantic, I asked, “Can we stop by Rocky’s house?”

“Rocky? As in Raquel Rossi?” He scratched his head and frowned.

“Yeah.”

He sighed and shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“And why is that?” I demanded.

Instead of answering, he turned up the dial on his car radio and turned the opposite direction. Though I wanted to kick, scream, and protest, I knew there was nothing I could do but bid Bethel Falls—and Rocky—goodbye.

Chapter 10

If I thought the ride to Charleston was uncomfortable, I hadn’t seen anything yet. The next few months were nothing short of utter torture. Funny thing was my dad wasn’t even too horrible to me. In fact, it was sort of nice seeing this new and improved model of what my dad used to be. Gone was his aloofness and perpetual depression. What was left was a smiling, happy, and over attentive father. Of course his doting could get a bit annoying.

“You know you’ve been here for three months and you’ve hardly touched anything I’ve cooked for you.” Dad shoved a plate full of…well, I don’t know what it was full of. It looked as if it was pulled off the pages of some gourmet magazine. He even had cilantro and a carved piece of carrot toward the side.

I slumped over the kitchen table and shrugged my shoulders. “I’m not hungry.”

BZZZ.

My phone vibrated and immediately my heart began thrashing. It was close to three in the afternoon, meaning that Rocky had just gotten out of school, and as our daily ritual went, she texted me immediately. Though she never did text me back that fateful night—nor did she tell me why she didn’t—our conversation resumed the next day. It hadn’t stopped since.

Rocky: Hey, how are you?

 

Those four little words caused a miraculous pick me up, and before I knew it a smile had worked onto my face.

Me: Better now that I’m hearing from you…

Too flirty? I shook my head and retyped:

Me: Doing okay. Wish I was there.

 

“You really still want to go back to Bethel Falls?” Dad’s breath seared my neck, his loud voice deafening. “What does that town have left for you?”

I jerked up and jammed my phone into my jeans pocket, which felt a bit baggier than usual. I leaned away from him and scowled. “Really? Reading over my shoulder, Dad? A bit immature there, wouldn’t you agree?”

Dad didn’t falter. Straightening himself, he eyed me with concern. “You know you’re not going back, right? At least not until you smarten up.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” My fists clenched automatically. Fuck, why did he always find a way to get under my skin?

My dad gazed over my hands and frowned. “Son, things would be a lot better if you learn to accept the situation. I already gave you my blessing to get your GED in hopes that you’d use the extra time to make something of yourself, not just sit and sulk around like this all day.” He pulled at my jeans, eliciting a sneer from me. “And you really should eat. You’re wasting away.”

“I’m not sulking,” I muttered, brushing my hand through my hair, which had grown a lot longer than I usually wore it. I’ll admit that I really wasn’t taking care of myself. What was the point when your life was a shithole already?

“Son—”

“Don’t call me that,” I snapped.

He sighed. “You may deny it, but I know your reluctance to adjust is because of Rocky, isn’t it?”

I glued my lips together and didn’t respond.

As if taking my silence as an invitation, he pulled out the expensive looking dining chair from beside me. It scraped against the ground like nails on a chalkboard. “You’ve seen how your mother and I ended.”

“Um, and?”

“Having no purpose in life ended what could have been a great relationship.”

I blinked quickly. I’ve never heard him talk about my mother in a way so…so…nice.

He nodded his head in understanding. “You don’t have to say it and you don’t have to agree with me, but I can see how much you like Raquel. You owe it to her and you owe it to yourself to grow up a little bit if you wish to pursue her.”

I snorted and looked away. This was almost as uncomfortable as the time he found a porn magazine under my blankets. “You don’t know anything.”

“I know that you’ve had that phone in your hand for the last three months. I know that every time it buzzes you jump up as if the Queen of England just called.

“Why would I care if the Queen of England called?”

“Exactly my point!”

I stared at him in bewilderment. “What?”

“I’m not blind, Jesse. I know you really love this girl.”

Love. Such a foreign concept to me.

“She’s my best friend, Dad,” I replied, taking my time to enunciate each syllable. “Of course I care about her. You do know what it’s like to have friends, right?”

My dad looked at me knowingly. “Suffice it to say, we both know it’s more than that. You want my advice?”

“If I say no will you leave me alone?” I asked hopefully.

“Who would you want Rocky to end up with? A hot-headed, immature boy? Or a steady and responsible man?”

I didn’t answer.

“And perhaps…Never mind.”

“Just spit it out, Dad,” I groaned.

He bit his lip hesitantly. “Listen, maybe she needs to grow up as well.”

“What do you mean?”

“Take a look at your life.”

“Believe me I have.” I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. “It’s not something I like to do.”

“It seems to me that you both tend to drag each other down.”

“She doesn’t do that to me,” I shot back defensively.

“Are you sure? Who did you follow to the dance, knowing you couldn’t set foot on school property?”

I remained silent.

He nodded smugly. “Who do you skip class with? Party with? Am I going out on a limb if I say she’s also the reason you punched that jock in the face?”

As if a dam broke, all the emotions I tried so hard to suppress spilled out. Fear’s cool claws gripped my spine and traveled down each vein in my body in its iciness. Maybe he was right. Maybe Rocky and I did bring out the worst in each other. Maybe I didn’t deserve her ever. “What if we never grow up? What then?”

“That’s up to you. Sometimes people are just not meant to be, and unfortunately, making difficult decisions is the first part of growing up. If you really love her, son, if you want the best for both of you, then maybe…maybe it’s best if you let her go.”

We sat bathed in silence, most likely contemplating what we had done wrong in our lives. I sat back, listening to a ticking clock that echoed throughout the house. Time was a funny thing. It didn’t guarantee you’d change, but more than likely change would accompany it.

Before I knew what I was doing, I grabbed the fork in front of me and took a bite of Dad’s gourmet masterpiece. Luckily, Dad knew better than to gloat. I gulped down a piece of steak in surprise. “Where’d you learn to cook? If memory serves me correctly, I grew up with greasy bags of burgers and fries every night.”

A sad smile touched his lips. “Well, when half your paycheck goes to booze you sort of run out of money to buy anything good.”

I took another bite and frowned. “Why didn’t you ever stop her? Force her to rehab or something?”

He curled his lips together and let them go with a pop. “That’s the other thing about becoming an adult. Tough love is necessary, but not easily managed. I guess…” He paused and wiped away a stray tear. “I guess I wasn’t man enough for that marriage.”

“Is that why you’re getting remarried? Because running away suddenly made you the man you wanted to be?” I snapped.

Dad’s thick eyebrows lowered. “That’s not fair, Jesse.”

“You sure about that?”

“Jesse,” he snapped warningly.

“You didn’t just leave Mom, remember? You left me.” I dropped my fork and shook my head in disgust. “Maybe that’s another reason why I’m not ‘grown up’ yet, either.”

Dad’s dark eyes widened in surprise. His mouth opened then shut rapidly, finally at a loss for words.

“Stop acting like you know me, because you don’t.”

Instead of getting angry, he nodded in agreement. “You’re right, I don’t. And apparently you don’t know me that well, either. I left for both of you, not for me. I thought once I stepped out that door, your mom would be scared straight. She’d toughen up and get her life on track.”

“Well, she didn’t.”

He bowed his head apologetically. “I know that now, but you can’t fault me for wanting to be happy, Jesse.”

I guess I couldn’t.

He picked up my fork and tapped it against my plate in thought. “Cooking is a great way of getting your life back in check.”

“Is that supposed to mean anything to me?” I shook my head and sighed as he eyed me expectantly. “What? You want me to learn how to cook?”

He nodded. ‘Trust me. It’ll be well worth it.”