Текст книги "One and Done"

Автор книги: S. Briones Lim

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 14 (всего у книги 16 страниц)

Head in the game. Head in the game.

I repeated my mantra as I eyed the beautiful woman up and down. God, could she get any more perfect? Her dark hair was fanned against my bed, perfectly framing her face, which glowed with excited anticipation. Her breasts remained perky though she was sprawled against my mattress. My gaze traveled down to her tiny waist, which tapered before widening into the most bodacious curve of her hips. Did I want to even get started on her impossibly long legs?

Wait a minute. My eyes traveled back up to her delicious looking sex, which was perfectly waxed.

Did she do that for Ethan?

No, I wouldn’t let my mind wander in that direction. She was mine…at least for tonight.

Silencing those pesky thoughts, I dove straight between her legs, grabbing the back of her knees to anchor myself.

I have to taste her.

Flicking my tongue, I swirled it around the delicate skin of her lips, completely lost to her feminine smell and taste. I opened my eyes and watched as her hips thrust against my mouth, wet and ready for me.

Damn, I can’t wait any more.

I pushed myself away, smirking at her disappointed whimper, and reached toward my drawer for a condom. As I busied myself unwrapping the purple foil, Rocky’s fingers gently wrapped around my cock, pumping up and down. I nearly blew my load right there! Gently nudging her hand away, I pulled the condom on, and like a broken record, asked the same question over again, desperate for one last answer of validation. “Are you sure you want this?”

Her answering smile was blinding.

“As your first?” I gulped.

“So you admit a tip doesn’t count,” she joked.

Ah, so she wanted to joke around, huh? I could take care of that. Placing my hands on either side of her, I gently nudged against her entrance, only pushing the very tip of myself inside. Even then I could feel how tight she was and I wanted nothing more than to thrust all the way in, but my stubborn self had a bit more self-control than that. “Does this count?”

“No.”

I pushed a little more, my insides crying to go all the way. “How about this?”

“N-no, it doesn’t,” she stammered.

If I didn’t go all the way inside, I was going to lose my mind, but yet…“What about—”

“Fuck, Jesse, just do it!” she cried out.

Good to know she felt the exact same way I did. With one deep breath I plunged my body forward and instantly felt my eyes roll back and mouth widen in pleasure. She was tight, no doubt about that, and had just enough wetness to make the friction insane.

I pumped slowly, gently; wanting her to enjoy her first time, though feeling her around me was so foreign that I almost felt like I was the virgin in this situation.

“Are you okay?” I barely whispered, feeling my biceps tremble as my body cried out for release.

“Yes, yes, yes.”

Good enough answer for me.

As if her words freed any last inhibition within me, I pumped faster. Gripping the side of her waist, I guided her body against mine—pulling and pushing. I made sure to keep my eyes fixed on hers, but couldn’t resist the urge to glance down to watch our privates against one another. Pulling out for a moment, I moaned as I watched my dick, which was slick with her wetness, enter between her delicate lips.

Rocky cried out as her walls trembled, convulsing against my dick. I gritted my teeth, watching as her breasts bounced along with her shaking body.

“I think I’m gonna come,” I whispered, or at least I thought I did. Aside from Rocky’s incredibly sexy orgasm and my incredible release, I had no idea what was going on.

Taking a deep breath, I collapsed onto the bed, rolling beside her. My chest rose and fell quickly, struggling for air. I had no idea how I was going to come down from such a high.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that,” I commented with a breathy chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah. Me too.” She nodded her head eagerly, the ‘after sex’ glow evident on her face.

“I mean, that was a first for me too,” I admitted almost shyly, reaching out to take a few strands of her hair between my fingers.

“What do you mean?”

Letting out a puff of air from my nostrils, I whispered, “I’ve never made love before.”

After experiencing such incredibleness I had no idea how I’d ever turn back.

Chapter 29

I made love to the girl—err, woman now—that I’d loved ever since I could remember. Not only that, I was also her first. Her first!

Nope, not gonna count that whole tip shit drama into the equation. I was one hundred percent the man who helped her cross that milestone. I possessed her. I made her mine.

Not Ethan.

So why weren’t things all rosy afterwards?

For one, I made the big mistake of leaving the room after we consummated our…well, whatever the hell we had going. It wasn’t as if I regretted doing it—hell to the no! However, I did need some room to think.

“Okay…”

I blew air through my lips, making a raspberry type noise. Wincing, I glanced over to the closed door of my bedroom hoping I didn’t wake her. Holding my breath, I listened intently and was relieved to hear nothing but silence.

“So we’re together…I think. What’s next? Do I move back? No, I can’t possibly…” I closed my eyes and cringed, imagining a future in Bethel Falls. The town was nothing but a curse to my kind and I couldn’t possibly imagine starting any sort of future with Rocky there. “Does she move here?”

I immediately began glancing around my dim living room. It was a bachelor pad to the fullest, but I couldn’t help but feel a slight jump of my heart, imagining feminine décor littering some space.

“What the fuck are you doing, Jesse?” I threw back my head and let out a silent laugh. As usual I found myself making Rocky’s decisions for her.

But as my dad always said, old habits die hard.

Chapter 30

There was no way Rocky could move to Charleston.

The realization hit me hard as I drove her back to Bethel Falls—her home. There was no way I could ask her to do something so rash. Where did I get off thinking that she’d pick up and leave after I deserted her all along? To make matters worse, Ethan was waiting for her when we came back. Feeling like an idiot for thinking that one night together would change a lifetime of wrongs, I quickly left as soon as we pulled up to Rossi’s, leaving Rocky in the parking lot gaping after me.

“Guess I made a habit of leaving too.” I laughed out loud, though I knew it was no laughing matter. Sneaking a peek at my mirror I crumbled when I spotted Rocky’s face. She was definitely wearing the mask of grief.

I was an asshole.

“You’re better than this, Jesse. What are you doing? You have to talk to her one last time.” I took a deep breath and tore my gaze away. “Guess you’re going back to work tomorrow.”

***

Well, maybe going back to Rossi’s Novelties was not one of my finest ideas. If Rocky’s anger wasn’t hard to bear, then certainly her parents’ surprise return was even worse!

“We leave for less than a week and you turn this family store into a sex shop?” I cringed at the sound of Mr. Rossi’s voice, which sounded no louder than a sonic boom. The tips of his ears reddened, and I was almost afraid that the plump man was going to explode at any second.

Rocky’s eyes darted back and forth. She was obviously freaking out beyond belief, and though I wanted nothing more than to come back to her defense, I knew how this story would play out—the same exact way it ended years ago.

Her voice was hoarse. “Dad, I…”

Then just like that, Mr. Rossi’s attention turned on me. I took an involuntary step back, taken by surprise by the fury in his eyes. Though I towered over him, I didn’t doubt that he’d do everything in his power to reach up for my neck and choke me to death. “You! I knew I shouldn’t have hired you. That good boy act you’ve been pulling—you’re just like your no-good mom!”

“Dad!” Rocky yelped. “Jesse had nothing to do with it! Mom, please. You have to believe me.”

“Did you even work while we were gone?” Mrs. Rossi was always the level-headed one, but at that moment I feared she was even worse than her husband. Her face was like stone, smooth and hardened, her eyes narrowed slits, calculating and brutal.

“Yes! Check the books.”

My face immediately paled. Rocky mentioned she sold some of the penis shaped straws I put out on the shelf as a joke. I hoped to God her parents wouldn’t find any of those records in their books.

“I’ll do just that,” Mr. Rossi replied.

Great. I swallowed nervously, watching the plump man flip through the gigantic black binder mercilessly.

His caterpillar-like eyebrows rose when he spotted something in black and white. “Miscellaneous? What is this? We don’t sell anything marked ‘miscellaneous.’”

“I…uh…don’t remember,” Rocky stammered.

I shut my eyes. Rocky was always the worst liar imaginable.

Her dad scratched his head in ferocity, and for a moment I worried he’d cut right through his skin. “Did you sell a…a…what are they called?”

“A dildo, honey,” Mrs. Rossi answered with a surprisingly calm tone before scampering away.

Rocky winced and shook her head. “Um, no…they were straws.”

“Why were they marked miscellaneous?”

“I…uh…the barcode was scratched and I was too busy to grab another one to scan.”

Wow, maybe she wasn’t such a bad liar after all.

Just when I thought Mr. Rossi was about to buy it, the sound of his wife’s screams filled the store. Simultaneously, the three of us jerked up and quickly ran toward the source of the commotion. I skidded to a stop in front of a pair of painted purple footprints.

Crap! How could forget I painted the floor to the store? No wonder Rocky hated me.

“What is this?” Mrs. Rossi exclaimed, on the verge of hyperventilation. She licked one of her fingers and frantically tried wiping my “artwork” off to no avail. Face scrunched in anger, she gazed at her daughter with a look of pure ferocity.

That was it. I could no longer hold out any longer and let Rocky fight my battles for me. Repeating history or not, I had to take the blame again.

“Enough! Enough of this,” I growled.

“Jesse! Be quiet,” Rocky hissed in warning.

Ignoring her, I pressed on. “It was my idea. All of it. Our stores in Charleston do well by selling those toys. They also put glittered prints around their stores as a gimmick. Rocky didn’t want to do it at first. But as usual I was able to convince her.”

And with a snap of a finger I was once again kicked out of the Rossis’ homestead, banished from seeing their daughter. I couldn’t blame them for hating me. It was true; I did need to leave Raquel alone for good. Dad was right, we were a bad combination. As much as I tried to fight it, we definitely brought out the worst in each other.

“Shut up, Jesse,” I muttered, starting my car up. “You’re the only thing bad in this combination. Better walk away again before you screw things up even more for her. That’s what you are, aren’t you? Just a screw up…” I rubbed my eyes and took a few breaths to steady my heart, which was still beating erratically. Once I finally calmed myself to think rationally, I shook my head in disgust. “I can’t cut her out of my life again. I’m not strong enough anymore…so what do I do now?”

The answer to my question was simple. It wasn’t up to me. It never was up to me. It was time that Rocky took the lead, just as she wanted. It was time for her to step it up.

Chapter 31

Radio silence.

You’d think after five years of enduring it, a day would be nothing.

Well, it wasn’t.

The next day was horrible. Actually, what’s worse than horrible? Torture? The plague? Whatever was worse I was there.

Waiting sucked.

Not hearing anything sucked.

Everything sucked.

I dragged my feet around the house waiting for a non-existent call or text amidst my mother’s prying eyes and the arrogant smirk on Michelle’s chapped lips.

“Broken heart, eh?” The fiery redhead slyly mused as I shuffled past her in the kitchen.

I pressed my lips together and tried my best to ignore her, focusing my attention on grabbing a box of orange juice from the fridge and drinking juice straight from it. It had been years since I did something so juvenile, but I just wanted to give Michelle anything to comment on that wasn’t about my fucking love life. Placing the carton of juice down, I turned and eyed her methodically. There must have been something on my face that said, “Don’t mess with me,” because soon enough she backed away, hands held palm side up.

Guess I still have some of that high school bad boy left inside of me.

That was basically how it went for the rest of the day. Michelle stayed away from me and my phone remained silent. I attempted to keep myself busy and even went so far as to log into my restaurant’s main email, but nothing helped push the lead weight off my chest. I was just about ready to pack up and say goodbye to Bethel Falls for good when something particular happened. My cell phone buzzed.

“This better not be a dumb trick,” I muttered, desperately.

I wheeled myself away from my laptop and basically launched myself onto my mattress. The years’ old springs groaned under my weight and sudden movement…or rather, from the thrashing of my heart against my rib cage. Wincing, I lifted up my phone and gulped before skimming the text message.

“Here goes nothing,” I mumbled.

Five years is a very long time and since this may be the last time I speak to you for another five years I just wanted to say…Thank you for the years of friendship. I wouldn’t be who I am today without you and I appreciate that. I know it sounds weird, but you actually taught me to aspire for what true love could really be. As inexplicable as it is, I can’t help but think that my inability to form relationships was due to the fact that I compared them all to you. Thank you for setting that bar for me and thank you for loving me, even if it was in your own special way. Goodbye again, old friend.

I blinked a few times, allowing her words to sink into my brain. I let out a sudden whoosh of air that I didn’t know I was holding. That is definitely not what I thought she’d say.

But what did I really think she would? That she’d follow me to Charleston? That we’d be a couple after all the bullshit I knew I had put her through?

“Stupid as always.” I sighed and glanced over at my luggage. At this point, leaving town was the only way to salvage what was left of my sanity. It may have been a selfish thing to do, but that was my strong suit, right?

Thinking better of it, I decided the least I could do was write a response back.

“What can I say that is deep, but not…” My voice trailed off. But not what? What could I say?

Rolling my eyes, I typed:

There are too many things to say for a text message. Meet me at the beginning of the end. Let’s talk.

Chapter 32

Okay, so I admit I may have been a little bit overdramatic, but honestly I needed to speak to Rocky—in person—and there was no other way I could bring myself to actually ask her without making myself feel too vulnerable. I admit, I may have been a bit brash, but it got my point across and for that I was happy. Of course the one thing I didn’t think about was how cold it would be meeting her outside on the football field, but hey, you win some you lose some.

It was nearing ten o’clock before I heard the crunching of footsteps making their way toward me. I stupidly overestimated her willingness to see me—or in the very least the time it would take her to read my text—and had been freezing my ass off on the ice cold metal bleachers for almost an hour. By the time I heard her light steps echo in the night, I was basically a blue popsicle.

Then suddenly, there she was…

The moonlight shined on her face, illuminating her soft elfin-like features, which was quite fitting since she’s always been magical to me. Her movements were graceful as if she were dancing to a silent melody playing specifically for her.

I gulped and heard myself call out, “Hi, Rocky.”

She didn’t respond and merely continued walking in my direction. She hugged her body tightly and once again I regretted asking to meet out in the freezing field. Her red pea coat only reached up to her mid-thigh and I felt a sudden urge to wrap my body around hers to keep her warm. Imagining our night in Charleston, my body temperature spiked a few more degrees. Shaking away the thoughts—though I really didn’t want to—I straightened my shoulders and commented, “Lady in red again, I see.”

She glanced down at herself and shrugged. “Not planned. It’s like the only winter coat I own. I really should buy more, considering how shitty the snow has been recently.”

“You hate the snow, I see,” I replied, not knowing what else to say.

“That cartoon Ice Queen can suck it.”

I couldn’t help but smile and watched as she made her way carefully up the bleachers. I was perched at the top, which probably wasn’t the safest idea. I anxiously watched her climb, letting out a sigh of relief when she neared me. “Please sit down.”

To my disappointment she sat a few inches away, as if feeling a need to put space in between us. “You wanted to see me?”

The icy tone in her voice threw me off. It was as if she were speaking to a stranger…but that was what I was, right? I frowned and pressed my hands together, desperate to feel some semblance of warmth even if it wasn’t from her. “What happened, Rocky?”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “Um, you walked out on me again and—”

I could have laughed, but chose not to. I could have screamed, but I didn’t. Instead, I whispered, “That’s not what I meant. I mean how did I fall in love with you? I was never supposed to fall in love with anybody.”

She stammered, “I…I don’t know how to answer that.”

Before I lost my nerve, I continued to speak. “I was never a fan of love. All my life my parents were on some…dysfunctional bullshit. I thought finding someone special was just a stupid myth invented by the greeting card companies of the world.”

“Wow, never pegged you for a conspiracy theorist,” she replied sarcastically.

And just like that, something switched off in my head. I guess that’s what happens though, right? When you’re diving into your subconscious you start being unconscious. If somebody asked me what I said and what she said, I’d never be able to let them know. It wasn’t until I heard the word, Charleston that I snapped myself back into reality. You see, love with Rocky was always a dream—even when I actually had it, it still felt as if I was living in a fantasy world. It was probably why I never allowed myself to claim it—I knew I’d just wake up. However, Charleston was an entirely different reality and one we needed to face if we both wanted to move on once and for all. Unfortunately, Rocky confessed she didn’t plan on following me…at least not yet.

“Admit it. You were never going to come back, were you?” Rocky demanded in an accusatory tone. Her fingers clenched and unclenched helplessly. “If your mom didn’t get sick…You had your new life in Charleston. You weren’t ever going to stay here.”

“No,” I confessed.

She bowed her head and frowned. “Life happens.”

“Life happens.”

She paused for a beat and looked up at me quizzically. “You were always planning on finding a nurse for your mom, weren’t you? That’s why you came back to begin with.”

I bit my lip and sucked in my feelings of guilt. “I did want to take care of her, I really did…but she and I both knew it wasn’t going to work. I mean, a person can only take being called a mistake or stupid so many times.”

“I–I—” she stammered before I cut her off.

“From day one she and I started picking nurses together. It was about the closest mother and son activity we ever did since she bought me that flask when I was sixteen. I know I should have tried harder to salvage whatever relationship we have, but I can’t.”

Her eyebrows furrowed together and her jaw worked, as if she were fighting back the words the threatened to spill from her mouth. She lost the fight. “You told me you purposely took the job to see me. Did you think anything was going to happen between us? Were you going to try?”

I took a moment before I answered. “I wish I could answer that. In all honesty—and you know this—I was afraid we didn’t know each other anymore. That you were just a figment of my memory, the picture hanging on my wall. But I was wrong. The moment I saw you I knew I had never once stopped loving you and I was going to try my hardest to finally win your heart…of course throwing fleshlights at your face probably wasn’t a good idea,” I added jokingly, hoping to lighten the mood.

“Now that you mentioned it, I was always wondering if you actually bought those for the occasion.”

“No, they’re from my own personal stash,” I replied with a straight face.

“What?”

I burst out laughing. “I’m kidding! Ew, do you really think I’m into all that? You’ve seen my apartment. No floggers and handcuffs there, right?”

I didn’t realize the innuendo in my words until I noticed Rocky’s cheeks reddening and caught myself wondering if any other part of her was flushed.

Whoa there, buddy.

Shaking it off, I gulped. “No, I got it from the Hard Shack. Have you ever been there? Good people. Really nice. Just told them I needed some merchandise for a business pitch.”

“Oh, God.”

“The box is still in the Dungeon if you ever need it.”

“Ugh, I’ve got to take that out of there before my parents find it.” She shook her head as if she were angry, but even she couldn’t hide the amusement on her face. That amusement was fleeting, though. Soon her smile faltered and a look of sadness washed over her. I grabbed hold of her hands just as she mumbled, “The beginning of the end.”

“What?” I grabbed her hands with a death grip, worried that reality was once again flooding around us.

“Is this why you asked me to meet you here? Is this the beginning of the end all over again?”

Was it? What was next for us?

I didn’t have an answer for any of those questions so I replied with what has got to be the stupidest thing of all. “We tried, Rocky.”

Her eyes darkened angrily. “Did we? Because it seems to me all we did was mess with each other’s minds, say we loved each other and…”

“Sleep together?” I asked quietly.

“Yeah. How is that trying?” She sighed.

I glanced down at our interlocked fingers. Even in the cold night, everything seemed so warm and perfect with her. It seemed so simple. So why wasn’t it?

Feeling a surge of anger, I decided to give a big ‘fuck you’ to the universe. With a vice grip still around her, I pressed, “Let me ask you this, what do you want us to be?”

“I…I don’t know how to answer that.”

Nope, she was not getting out of this one. “Let me rephrase the question. Did you just want us to be a one-night fuck or something that means a lot more?” I let out a slight breath when she tore her hands away from mine.

“You know the answer to that,” she snapped accusingly.

“Well, the feeling’s mutual, Rocky.” I smiled at her softly and motioned between us. “I want this to work as much as you do, but how will that happen if we’re both not willing to budge? We’re both freaking stubborn. We always have been.”

A distant look filled her eyes, one of longing and sadness. Briefly shutting her eyes, she shrugged her shoulders slightly. “I don’t know what to do. How does any relationship happen? Honestly, I haven’t even been in one long enough to know how it all works.”

“What do you mean?” I asked glumly, thinking about Ethan.

“I’ve dated, yes. I’ve tried to make things work. Nobody ever lived up to the image I had of you, though. Even Ethan…” She shook her head and let out a soft chuckle. “Even from a young age I knew you were different. You made me feel things.”

“Horny?” I wagged my eyebrows up and down suggestively, laughing when she punched me in the shoulder.

“No! I mean, you made me feel like I was brave enough to do anything. You made me feel alive and passionate. I never had that excited feeling with anyone before. I felt…”

I squeezed her hand. “Like what?”

She swallowed visibly and looked up shyly. “That you complemented me well. Does that make sense?”

All at once my heart felt as if it awakened once more, its beat strengthened. “It does…”

“You’re leaving soon, aren’t you? That’s why you asked me here. To end things before they begin.”

Images of my packed bags flooded my brain. I would be leaving soon. It was always the plan and as a responsible adult it was also something I had to do. Now as I stared into Rocky’s big brown eyes I realized it wasn’t something I wanted to do anymore. But that’s how it always was, right? Once you’re an “adult” or whatever the fuck that word meant, you’d be forced to do things you didn’t want to do for the greater good.

Fuck being an adult.

I shook my head profusely. “No, it’s not. I asked you here so we could put an end to the bullshit we’ve been feeding each other and actually build on a beginning. I don’t expect you to move right away, nor would I want you to expect me to move back.”

“So what do you want? Is this goodbye or not?” she asked almost desperately.

My throat felt dry and scratchy as I forced the following words out: “It’s a see you later.”

A sheen of water glassed over her beautiful eyes. Her nose began to redden and though I wanted nothing more than to place a soft kiss on top and tell her it would be okay, I was not a fortune teller; I didn’t know if it would or not.

“When are you leaving?” she squeaked.

Initially tonight. “Tomorrow.”

“So soon?” she ground out.

I swallowed. “I have a business.”

Her voice wavered. “I know…it’s just hard to think of you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Not the Jesse from high school.” I could almost hear the pride in her tone.

I gently grabbed onto her body and turned her toward me. “I still think we’re the same people deep down. Better in most ways, but the same in some. That being said, I think you’re right. Despite our history I think we need to get to know each other again. The people we are now.”

“Jesse Tyler is actually agreeing with me?” She giggled softly.

“What I’m saying is that we can continue this, but we’d have to do it the right way. We both can’t expect something gargantuan just yet. It’s not fair to either of us.”

“So what does this mean for us?”

I paused for a beat. “I guess it means we take it slow. Do the long distance thing for a while, and maybe if things turn out well, we’ll figure out what we want to do.”

“Maybe?” she practically sneered.

“When things turn out well.”

She looked down at her feet, leaving me guessing what she was thinking.

Look at me, Rocky. What’s going on in that mind of yours?

After an excruciating few seconds, she finally spoke. “Take it slow, huh? I guess that’s smart. Like I said, sometimes I feel like I know you so well and other times I don’t.”

“I think that would be the most responsible thing to do, right? The most adult?” Again, I say fuck being an adult!

“Yeah, I guess…Wow.”

“What?” I lifted an eyebrow.

A mischievous expression washed over her face. “I kissed, attacked you, and slept with you before an official date. Seems to me that I don’t know the meaning of taking it slow. Guess grown-up Rocky is a vixen, isn’t she?”

“Oh, you have no idea.” I grinned and ran my fingertips along her cheeks—the way only I would touch her. We were going to be fine. I was sure of it…

Now, I could tell you what we did afterwards—go into detail about our promising kiss or the way we joined together. Hell, I already told you about that night in our apartment! However, this one was different. Not that our first time sleeping together wasn’t anything short of special and wonderful, but this…this was unlike anything I’ve experienced before. Whereas the first time was admitting to something we’d both kept secret for years, this time was a promise of love, hope, and a future. I wouldn’t feel right going into detail about that, but I will tell you something I told Rocky…

There we lay, cramped up in the backseat of my SUV, fearing the time as the seconds ticked by. Rocky sunk her fingertips into my back and sighed. “I feel bad though. I love you…why can’t I just pick up and go?”

I gazed into her eyes and bit back the lump forming in the back of my throat. “It’s because you’re afraid I’ll cut you off again. It’s because you’re comfortable here. There are many reasons why, and you know what? It’s okay to feel them. It doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

“But now we have to be apart again,” she reminded me.

“I have enough faith in us to make it through this minor hiccup,” I replied nonchalantly.

“How can you be so sure?”

As I gazed down at the woman I love, I couldn’t be any more sure. “Because after the expulsions, overbearing parents, five years of silence, and two hundred miles between us, we’re finally doing this right here, right now.”

“Fucking?”

“Making love. And Rocky, that love is going to be what’s going to get us through it. It’ll close the distance, and more importantly, it’ll help me keep my promise.”