Текст книги "Thizz, A Love Story"

Автор книги: Nicole Loufas

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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

I take a small bite of scrambled eggs, washing it down with a gulp of water. Who knew teeth could get this sore? I try to hide the pain as I force myself to chew a piece of toast. I don’t know if it was the gum chewing or the teeth grinding. Maybe both. I can barely open my mouth, let alone chew.

Lucy hasn’t said a word since I sat down. I know she’s dying to ask me about the party. I don’t even think it’s a matter of her scolding me for coming home late. She probably just wants to know if I had fun. Lucy is only eleven years older than me. She used to call herself the cool aunt. I’m not sure that title applies now that she’s my legal guardian. Was my legal guardian. Now that I’m eighteen, I’m the boss of me. I don’t need her permission to go out or date Nick, but knowing she cares keeps me from feeling utterly alone in the world.

I take another bite of the cold eggs and accidently bite my cheek. I make a small noise, which draws another look from Lucy. She drops her fork onto her plate and glares at me from the other end of the table. It catches my attention. I’m wrong. She’s not curious, she’s pissed. Her face is a mash of disappointment and anger. It’s so not her. She’s always smiling and putting a positive spin on everything. My father used to call her disgustingly optimistic.

“Look, I don’t want to pry. But you sort of suck.” I inadvertently smile at her lack of parental vocabulary. “I’m serious.” Her back straightens like she’s role playing the angry parent. “You can’t just stay out all night and not tell me anything.”

“I didn’t plan on staying out that late, but my friend was drinking and didn’t want to drive.” That’s the best I could come up with at three in the morning. “I’ll call Patty and tell her I’m sorry for missing work.” I was supposed to open the café this morning. When I didn’t show up, Patty had to rush over and open two hours late.

“Don’t bother, I told her you’d be there in an hour.” Lucy lifts her coffee mug to her mouth, tapping the side with her fingernail.

I let out a long sigh. I guess going to work at nine is better than six a.m. I was in no condition to get up when my alarm went off at five-thirty this morning.

“So, the boy that dropped you off.” Lucy smiles from behind her mug.

Here we go.

I put on a little show, like I’m embarrassed. I’m not, but I think it will make Lucy feel more parental. “That was Nick Marino, but I’m sure Patty already told you that.” I sip my water and add an eye roll for dramatic effect. The old Lucy would ask me if Nick was a good kisser or something just as embarrassing. That is something a cool aunt would do, not my guardian. I don’t want her to think Nick is irresponsible, so I tell her he had a beer at the party and didn’t feel comfortable driving me home. “He felt really bad and thought I should call you to pick me up.” It’s sort of true. Nick waited until he felt the effects of the thizz starting to wear off before he got behind the wheel. Even I had started to come down. As soon as the euphoria subsided, I kind of freaked out about the time and what Lucy was thinking, so Nick drove me home.

Lucy’s brow furrows. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“Well, I don’t have a cell phone.” I state the obvious. “And, I didn’t want to leave. I was having fun.” Lucy’s face brightens. I’ll let her think her pep talk about socializing worked. “Am I in trouble?”

Lucy glowers at me for a second and sets her mug down. “I guess not. Please call me next time and let me know you’re ok.” She takes a bite of her eggs and smiles. She looks happy now. She looks like my mom. They’re only half-sisters, but they share the same dark hair and light blue eyes. That’s all they share. Lucy is the polar opposite of my mom. Lucy is the kind of person that dances at street fairs and wears elf ears on Christmas. My mother was refined, and took herself way too serious. Sometimes I hated that about her. When I was little, I used to wish Lucy was my mom. I hate that about myself.

The walk to work feels quicker, the customers seem friendlier, and even Mary is less annoying. She flips her hair in my face as she places three empty mugs on the counter. Ok, maybe I’m wrong about Mary. She isn’t working, she’s just here to torture me after spending the morning at her mother’s salon. Mary is in full-blown makeup, fake eyelashes and all. Her dark brown hair cascades down the back of her pink sweater in perfect chocolate waves.

“Dani, sweetie, can you make Mrs. Montgomery one of your hazelnut lattes?” Patty is sitting at the gossip table in the corner. Every now and then I hear the name Marino. I don’t know if they’re talking about Nick’s grandmother, Mariann, or their business in general. Just hearing his name, in any context, sends my heart into overdrive. I want to jump on the counter and yell: I kissed Nick Marino!

“Sure.” I pull a large glass mug from a hook under the counter. I pump two squirts of hazelnut syrup into the glass and place it on the espresso machine. I’m preparing the milk when the bells above the door jingle. I pull the milk from the steamer, pour it into the glass, and realize the room has gone silent. I look around the espresso machine and find Nick standing at the counter.

He smiles so big his eyes turn into tiny slits. “Hi.” His voice is hoarse, like mine, from talking all night.

I jump back and freak out at the status of my hair. I showered this morning, but I’m a sweaty mess now. I wipe my face with a semi-clean towel and sprinkle a little cinnamon on top of Mrs. Montgomery’s drink. I place the glass mug on the counter. “Hazelnut latte.”

Nick smirks at my lack of enthusiasm. It has nothing to do with my feelings for him. I have to suppress the urge to jump over the counter and into his arms. I don’t want Patty to have a heart attack. I peek back around the espresso machine and offer a smile. “Small latte?”

“Extra foam,” he adds and places four dollars on the counter. Two more dollars than the price of the coffee. Is he actually tipping me?

I make Nick’s latte in a ceramic mug, and I make the milk extra hot so he will have to wait for it to cool down to drink. Sneaky barista trick. “What are you doing here?” I ask as I slide his drink across the bar with two packets of sugar.

Nick rips open the sugar and pours it into his mug. “I’m starting my plan.” His plan? I look at him, confused, and he arches his eyebrow at me. Holy hell, he was serious about making me fall in love with him. He is crazy and unbelievably adorable. Nick leans against the counter with his mug in his hand and looks around. Mary practically chokes on her bran muffin when he smiles at her. “Morning ladies.”

“Good morning, Nick. You’re out and about early,” Patty says in a disapproving tone.

I look at the clock; it’s ten thirty, not that early. Lucy must have called Patty and told her I didn’t get home until three in the morning because Nick was boozing it up at a party.

“I was just craving some coffee.” He winks at me. His comment causes a buzz at Patty’s table.

“How is your grandmother? I haven’t seen her in a while. Tell her to stop by and say hi.”

Nick’s face tightens at the mention of his grandmother. “I will, Mrs. Murphy.”

I’ve never heard anyone call Patty by her formal name. Even Patty is taken aback. She glares at him over the top of her glasses like he just made a smart remark.

“Patty, I’m going to take a fifteen-minute break.” I untie my apron and toss it on the counter. Patty checks the clock as if she’s actually going to time me.

Nick walks to the door and holds it open for me. He’s so sweet. Can’t Patty see that?

I choose a table farthest away from the main window and all of the curious eyes. Nick doesn’t seem to mind or even notice that we are the object of everyone’s attention. You can’t look like he does and expect people not to stare. If I’m going to be with him, it’s something I’ll have to accept. I just wish I had on some lip gloss or something, and it would be nice if I didn’t smell like bleach and coffee. I’m going to have to make an effort to look better.

“You look beautiful,” Nick says, as if he’s reading my mind. I roll my eyes. It’s a knee-jerk reaction. “I’m serious.” He runs the back of his hand down my sweaty cheek. “How do you feel?”

I felt better after I ate breakfast, but I’ve had two cups of coffee since I started my shift and I think the caffeine reignited my buzz. I’m definitely not normal. I tell Nick I feel fine.

“That was some good shit, right?” Nick takes a sip of his coffee and leans back in his chair. He looks proud, like he made the pills himself.

“It was my first time, so I don’t really have a frame of reference.” I tilt my head towards Nick and smile. See, this is not normal Dani. I’m not flirty, and this is definitely flirty.

“You’re right. We should try it again just to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. How about tonight?”

I can’t tell if he’s joking, but the thought of taking it again excites me. Lucy is working a double, she’ll be gone all night. As far she knows, I’ll be home, sleeping. Because that’s what good Dani does. She stays home, alone, and sleeps. “We could do it again, but the results won’t be accurate. We need another source. Do you know any other honest drug dealers?” I’m totally joking, but Nick looks flustered. I don’t know why I even speak. Nothing I say comes out right.

Nick clears his throat and takes another drink. His cheeks look flushed. I can’t tell if he’s blushing or if it’s just from the steam rising out of his mug. “What do you have against drug dealers?”

I hate that he isn’t getting my sarcasm. My father dedicated most of his career to helping drug dealers get a fair trial. He was always quick to defend his clients to anyone who challenged him. He said it wasn’t always about flashy cars and power. Most of them were just trying to feed their families. He also said it was a business built on desperation, fear, and violence. Drug dealers are one-dimensional, it’s all about the money. It has to be. It’s the only way they can live with the consequences of their product. Turning their neighbors and family members into addicts was a necessary evil. My father never claimed his clients were innocent. His job was to make sure they were treated fairly. That was their right, regardless of the crime. That’s the only way he could live with himself. My mother hated it. Not just because he worked the cases from a home office and had some pretty shady clients visit every now and then. She hated that he offered his services for free. My father said it offset all the shitty things he had to do for his day job. He worked as in-house counsel for a consulting firm. He hated the corporate culture, the elitist attitudes. His pro-bono work was always straight forward. No bullshit. They knew what they were getting with him. He didn’t have to play any games. He said most of his pro-bono clients were good people in bad situations. I loved that about my father. He always saw the good in people. No matter how horrible their crimes were.

“Maybe they aren’t all that bad.” Nick smiles a crooked smile. “You never know, you might even fall in love with one.”

I make a noise that’s a cross between a laugh and a snort. “You know a drug dealer that’s looking for a girlfriend?” I laugh at my ridiculous question, but Nick doesn’t join me. He looks at me like I’m the pretentious bitch Heather King said I was. “I’m joking, Nick. I get it. Drug dealers need love too.” I break into a grin. “I’m sure the guy you bought the pills from is really nice, but I’m not interested in dating him.”

“Who are you interested in dating?” A playful grin spreads across Nick’s face, causing my heart to beat like I just took a pill. I’m hoping it’s some kind of Morse code cluing me in on who it is I actually want. What I feel for Matt is nothing compared to what Nick is doing to me right now. Feeling his eyes on me is almost as good as his hands. They move over my face like the soft trace of a finger. They scan my body like he’s memorizing every curve. Nick’s eyes are like a laser, piercing through me and engraving his initials on my heart. Branding me as his.

Nick takes my hand and something amazing happens to my body. It’s like a chemical reaction, like pouring peroxide on an open wound. He feels so good it hurts.

Fear, embarrassment, self-doubt—it all diminishes when we touch. I know exactly what I want, who I want. “You,” I say. “You are the only person I want holding my hand.” Nick squeezes my fingers. “You are the only person I want to kiss.” He smiles his sexy smile and reaches for me with his perfect lips and presses them to mine.

I want to fall in love with Nick Marino and I want it to happen right now. I just need that little blue pill to help guide me in the right direction.

We break away and Nick straightens up in his seat. He takes a drink from his now lukewarm latte and says, “Tell me something about yourself, something nobody knows.”

My heart stops then starts to beat rapidly. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t you have one thing you’ve never told anyone, but you want to?” Nick leans his face close to mine, like I’m going to divulge my darkest secrets to him.

“I don’t have any secrets,” I lie. I know I will have to tell Nick about my parents eventually. This isn’t the time or the place. I haven’t told anyone. He will be my first. Just not now.

“Come on, don’t be shy.” He rubs his hand on my thigh. I don’t care how charming he is, there is no way he’s getting a single word out of me. I check my watch. Nick places his hand over the face to prevent me from seeing the time. “I’ll go first.” He smiles like I’ve agreed to something. I don’t want to divulge my secret, but I’m not going to stop him from telling me his. He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles. He runs his hand through his hair then launches into a story about a basketball game in Arcata.

“So, we win the game and Coach takes us out for dinner at this fancy restaurant. The bartender ended up being an old family friend. He spiked our Cokes with rum all night. Coach had no idea we were all wasted. The last thing I remember was getting on the team bus to head home.” He pauses and sips his latte. I can tell by the smirk on his face, he’s getting to the good part. “Keep in mind, I drank a lot.” He looks so damn cute it’s hard to focus on his story. “I woke up the next day and my bed was soaking wet.” He begins to laugh so hard he can’t finish his story.

“Why was your bed wet?” I ask, then I see the red in his cheeks. “You peed the bed?”

He nods and pretends to be humiliated, but I can tell by the coy look in his eye that he is impervious to humiliation. Nick Marino is too confident to be embarrassed. Hell, I don’t even care that he wet his bed. I think it’s cute.

“Your turn.” He reaches for my hand and leans his head towards me. His fingers are unnaturally warm from the hot coffee.

The bells above the café door jingle and Mary pokes her head out. “Your break is over,” she says in her toddler voice, then closes the door. I’ve never been so happy to see Mary.

“Ok,” I tell her and turn back to Nick. “I have to go.” I look down at his hand wrapped around mine. We fit so perfectly together.

He kisses my hand, then leans his head towards mine so our foreheads are touching. I know my parents loved me and I know Lucy loves me, but I’ve never felt this kind of affection before. The way Nick smiles when I smile, the way he holds my hand and kisses my cheek, is something new and amazing. It’s something I never knew existed and will never be able to live without.

“I better go.” I try to scoot my chair out, but Nick grabs the seat and pulls me to him instead. The metal legs screech against the cement until our knees are touching, then Nick spreads his legs and pulls me even closer. The faint smell of jasmine and exhaust mixed with the coffee on his breathe makes my heart flutter. I inhale him and close my eyes. The next thing I know, Nick’s lips are on mine. He kisses me softly as his hand caresses the side of my face. My lips part and we kiss deeper. His tongue gently invades my mouth, and I let out a slight moan. I’m holding my breath, afraid to come up for air. I don’t want to pull away, but I’ll pass out if I don’t. I end our kiss, and Nick seems to snap out of a daze. His breathing is rapid, like he just resurfaced from under water.

“I have to go,” I whisper into the space between us.

He kisses me one more time and releases my chair. “I’ll wait here until you get off.”

I look into the café and see Patty standing behind the counter with her arms crossed over her chest. I don’t know if I can take two hours of her scowling at me. “I don’t get off until one. You don’t have to wait. I can walk home,” I tell him, but I don’t mean it. I want a ride home. I want to spend every waking minute with him.

Nick stands and walks me to the door. He moves a loose strand of hair behind my ear and kisses my cheek. “I’ll be back at one. My girl doesn’t walk anywhere.”

I open the door to walk inside and he calls my name. “Dani, wait.” He smiles. His Nick smile. “Is my plan working?”

“Yes.” I blush. Your plan is working and mine is out the freaking window.

Ice Cube’s “Today is a Good Day” pulls me from sleep. I peek from under my pillow and see Nick dancing in front of my desk. “Who the fuck let you in?” I pull the pillow over my pounding head and moan.

After Nick took Dani home, he came back to the party and picked up me and Arnie. We drove to a frat party in Arcata and sold half of the pills Will gave us. One hundred pills in one day. I even sold a couple of my bootleg CDs. We popped a pill when we got to the frat house, then popped another one a few hours later. It was off the hook. I think my favorite thing about thizz is how friendly everyone is. Most parties end in fights because some drunk asshole can’t handle his liquor. That doesn’t happen when people are thizzin. It’s all sunshine and fucking rainbows.

“Come on, Matty!” Nick yanks the comforter off my bed. “Ash let me in before she left with your parents. She said they were headed out for your mom’s birthday. Shouldn’t you be going with them? What kind of son are you?”

I know Nick is fucking with me, but it hits a nerve. It isn’t like I would’ve gone, but damn, they could at least ask me. Things have been screwed up between me and my parents for a long time. I don’t know if we can ever make it right. I was just a kid when Ashley was diagnosed. I didn’t know how to handle it. I started acting out, breaking shit, and fighting. I refused to visit her in the hospital. Death was foreign to me. I was only eleven. Ashely’s forgiven me, but I don’t think they ever will.

Nick turns the music off to answer his phone. I hear the one-sided conversation and I can tell he’s talking to Will. Nick hangs up and sits at my desk. “Arnie’s coming over; we have some details to discuss about business. Get the fuck up!”

Arnie and Nick are playing Xbox in my living room when I get out of the shower. Nick turns off the game and fills us in on what’s next. “Will is coming up sometime this week to drop off a boat. That’s a thousand pills. We should be able to unload it in a month.”

“A month, more like two weeks.” Arnie reaches over and high fives me. “I’m ready to pop another one right now.” Arnie’s right, there is nothing like that rush. I wouldn’t mind popping another pill if it will cure this headache.

Nick sits on the edge of the sofa across from me and Arnie. He runs his hand through his hair. “Look, Will’s fronting us on this, so we’re only getting eight bucks a pill. We gotta be smart.”

Arnie makes a disapproving snort. “That ain’t shit, bro. We’re putting in all the work.”

“Yeah, well, once we have enough capital to buy the pills, we’ll get a better cut.” Nick sips a bottle of Gatorade and paces the room.

My mind is processing numbers like an adding machine. We stand to make eight grand off the boat, while Will makes twelve. “When we get the money to buy the pills upfront, what’s our cut then?” I have to focus on the money; it keeps me from feeling like a criminal.

Nick stops pacing and sits on the end of the sofa. “It depends. Everything is negotiable, but Will said once we get rolling, we can pick up a boat for three to four grand.”

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Arnie leans over and high fives Nick. “And how are we cutting our shares?”

Nick looks at us and smirks like he’s offended. “What, you think I’d burn my boys?” Arnie sort of shrugs, but I know Nick wouldn’t fuck us. “We split this equally, three ways. We’re in this shit together.” Nick holds out his fist and bumps it with mine, then Arnie’s. “We gotta be smart though. You’re responsible for your stash. Will warned me about getting high when we should be selling. We aren’t a bunch of tweakers. We can party, but when we’re working, we gotta be cool. We can’t be abusing this shit, you feel me?” Nick takes another swig of his Gatorade, and I wonder if he even slept. He still looks wired.

“Does this mean we can’t kick down a few freebies every now and then? I mean shit, you know the chicks are all over this!” Arnie grabs his crotch and pumps the air. “I had my pick of the honeys last night.” Arnie reaches up for a high five.

Nick slaps his hand. “Let’s play it case by case, alright?”

Arnie nods, but we all know he’ll do anything to get laid. The Nick I know would take full advantage of this new power. Well, the old Nick. After the way I saw him looking at Dani, I can tell he cares about her. I can almost guarantee she’s in love with him. It doesn’t take long for girls to fall for Nick. He’s got the whole rebel-without-a-cause thing going on. He’s got the car, the name, not to mention money. He plays ball, he has good teeth, and now he has thizz. Hell, if I was a chick I’d love him too.

I tried to keep my distance from Dani at K’s party. When she was in my line of sight, I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I had to fight every urge in my body not to go to her, or even to talk to her. I didn’t want to risk crossing a line or saying something out of pocket. Something like, I saw you first. Why couldn’t you look at me the way you look at him? Why didn’t you choose me?

“What about Dani?” Where the hell did that come from? “I mean, does she know you sell thizz?”

“Who’s Dani?” Arnie asks.

“You know, the chick from the party. She’s Nick’s girlfriend.” Saying it out loud feels like a knife in my chest.

“Damn, Matty. You dropping the g-word already.” Arnie looks at Nick incredulously. “They just hooked up once. You know our boy just one-night’s them.” Arnie lifts his hand to high five Nick, but Nick leaves him hanging.

It pisses me off that Nick isn’t speaking up about her. Last night she was the best thing that ever happened to him, and now he won’t even say her name. I pick up a Nerf football and squeeze the shit out of it. “It ain’t like that this time. Nick’s whooped.” I toss the football to Arnie, and we look at Nick to see his reaction. He’s too lost in thought to say anything.

“We can’t tell her,” Nick finally says. “I don’t want her to know we sell thizz or weed or fuckin’ anything.” He looks worried, like her knowing will be an issue.

“Why not?” Arnie tosses the football back to me.

“She said some shit about drug dealers that wasn’t cool. I don’t want her to think I’m a fucking sleazeball.” Nick runs his hand through his hair.

“Fuck her, if she does.” Arnie waves his hand in the air, dismissing Nick’s self-deprecating comment.

I fire the Nerf ball at Arnie’s head.

“What the fuck, Matt!” Arnie rubs his temple and looks around for the ball.

Nick snatches it from the floor before Arnie can grab it then leans over and high fives me. He points the end of the ball at Arnie. “Don’t you ever talk about Dani like that.” He fires the ball at him. It bounces off the side of his head and back into Nick’s hand. I’ve never seen Nick stand up for a girl. He must really like her. Fuck.

Arnie rubs his head and sits on the couch with his arms over his chest. He’s such a cry baby.

Nick starts pacing again. “Matt, you’re friends with her, right?”

“I guess.” I don’t know what we are.

“Alright, then you keep her busy. You know, divert her attention when we’re out and someone wants to by some shit. Can you do that?” Nick looks desperate.

It seems impossible to hide the fact that we sell thizz from Dani, but if anyone can do it, it’s Nick. I’ll do everything I can to make sure she doesn’t find out about it either. If Nick is worried about what she’ll think of him, then I know it will be far worse for me. He’s Nick Marino. I’m nobody.

“I can do that.” I hold out my hand and he pulls me in for a bro hug.

“You’re my boy, Matt.”

Nick and I have been best friends since first grade. I don’t think we’ve ever had a single fight. Not over a game, a toy, or a girl. When Ashley was diagnosed, my parents lived at the hospital. They sort of forgot about me. So, Nick invited me to stay with him. His grandmother made up a room for me, but I stayed in Nick’s room. He had bunk beds and gave me the top, even though it was his favorite. He didn’t make fun of me when I woke up crying for my mom and he never, ever, left my side. He’s the kind of guy that will give you the shirt off his back or bring you in on a business that will make you a lot of money. I’d do anything for him. Even give up the girl of my dreams.