Текст книги "Thizz, A Love Story"

Автор книги: Nicole Loufas

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Текущая страница: 4 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

My heart folds in on itself when I see her in his arms. Nick looks like he is about to make his move, so I yell his name. His eyes shoot in my direction and I wave. I put on my best fake smile and walk up to them like I didn’t just cock-block my best friend. I tell Nick its ten thirty, but I don’t say anything about the party at K’s house. Neither does he. I don’t think I can stand to watch them thizz together, not after what I read online about how it effects inhibitions, sex drive. Will was right. There is an entire culture built around this drug. Music, hairstyles, clothes. I can’t wait to release thizz culture on Eureka. Just not on Dani.

“I have to be home at eleven,” Dani says.

Nick looks at her curiously. “Ok,” he says. “I’ll drop her off then come back for you.” I know from the look on his face he doesn’t want me to say anything about the party. I nod my head once to let him know I get it. Nick and I have known each other forever. We can read each other like nobody else can. We always know what the other is thinking.

He takes Dani’s hand and starts back towards the bonfire. I follow two steps behind. I wonder if she’d be here with me if I wasn’t such a punk, if I would have just asked her out in class or at least talked to her in the parking lot. I knew better than to have her meet me with Nick around. He’s like a black hole, sucking up the attention of everyone around him. He can’t help it. Hell, I don’t even think he likes it, but he can’t escape it. None of us can. Dani being here is my fault. I put her in his path and she couldn’t fight the pull. I know she liked me, at least a little. I saw the way her cheeks turned red when I sat down next to her in class and the huge smile she gave me when I passed her in the hall. We had a good vibe, I know it. I felt it. I fucked it up.

When we get back to Nick’s car, I remember what Haley said about Dani. I wonder if Nick knows she doesn’t party and that’s why he isn’t bringing her to K’s house. Dani is standing on the passenger side of the car while Nick and I say goodbye. “Later,” Nick says, and we clap our hands together. He whispers that he wants me to wait for him to get back before giving out any freebies. As if I would do it without him.

Dani is watching us. More like she’s watching Nick. She doesn’t even see me. I’m just background noise. As Nick’s partner, it’s my duty to let him know about Dani before things get serious. “I heard Dani doesn’t party,” I whisper.

Nick looks at me like I’m speaking another language. “Who told you that?” I know Nick, and his defenses just went up.

“Haley.” The mention of Haley’s name makes Nick grimace. He runs his hand through his hair and looks back at Dani. “Alright, I’ll drop her off and meet you at K’s.”

I feel a huge weight lift from my chest knowing she won’t be at the party. I won’t have to watch her smile at him the way she used to smile at me. Nick unlocks the door and opens it for Dani. Before she ducks down to get inside, she looks up at me and smiles. “See you on Monday, Matt.”

My entire body erupts in pleasure with that one small look. I don’t want her to go, I want to stare at that smile a little longer. “Wait,” I yell as her head disappears below the car. “Don’t I get a hug goodbye?” I have no idea where that came from. It must be the six-pack of beer I slammed. Liquid courage.

Dani looks up with a strange expression. She looks shocked or disgusted by the words coming out of my mouth, which makes what I’m about to do even more pathetic—but I really don’t care. I walk to her side of the car and wrap my arms around her frigid body. She smells like coffee and car exhaust. Weird—but fucking awesome. She doesn’t say a word. I’m practically assaulting her. I’m such a loser.

“Ok, ok, hands off my girl,” Nick says as I let her go.

His girl. She’s Nick’s girl.

The house is dark when Nick pulls into the driveway. Lucy isn’t home yet, which means she won’t know I went out tonight. I’m not sure what is happening with Nick, but I’m definitely not ready to talk about it with Lucy. She has this way of blowing things out of proportion. I also don’t need another lecture on birth control. I try to say goodnight in the car, but Nick insists on walking me to the door.

“Do you work tomorrow?” he asks as we reach the porch.

I tell him I have the morning shift.

“Can I come see you? Maybe we can do something after you get off.” He takes my hands and smiles, as if he has to convince me to say yes. He doesn’t realize how badly I want to see him again. How I hate letting him go right now.

This is crazy. I can’t be attached already. “Yes, of course.” I’ll be counting the minutes.

Nick smiles like I just told him he won the lottery. I think that’s what makes being with him feel so nice. The way he looks at me like a coveted piece of art. He sees something that nobody else can, not even me. “Good night,” he says, then leans in and kisses my cheek. I exhale slowly, and the next thing I know, his lips brush my mouth. We kiss softly two or three times then break away. My heart sputters in my chest when I open my eyes and see him staring back at me. This wasn’t my first kiss, but it is the one I will commit to memory and pull up whenever I need to smile.

“Good night,” I whisper into the air between us.

“Good night,” Nick says again and takes a step down off the porch. My arm extends towards him until my fingers slide from his like some cheesy music video moment. I get why those moments exist. I’m having one right now.

Nick walks down the steps and stands by his door, waiting for me to go inside. I finally unlock the door and wave one more time before closing it. I run straight to my room and watch Nick drive away. After his car disappears around the corner, I fall onto the bed with a loud sigh. I just went on a date with Nick Marino. He said I was beautiful. He kissed me goodnight. I don’t know how I will sleep tonight or work tomorrow. I already miss his touch, his smell. I’m already completely addicted.

Forget flying under the radar. Fuck the radar. I’m going to fall in love with Nick Marino.

I’m in the bathroom washing my face when the doorbell rings. It’s late, and Lucy wouldn’t ring the bell. Whoever it is must have seen Nick drop me off. They know I’m home alone. I creep into the hall and look down the staircase to see if I recognize the silhouette on the porch. The doorbell echoes through the empty house again. For the first time since the night of the accident, I’m scared. Lucy calls it an accident, now I’m doing it. I guess accident rolls off the tongue a lot easier than the truth. I look at the phone in the hall. I could call Johnson. He’s home in Arcata. That’s at least twenty minutes away. I could be dead by then. Now I sound as paranoid as Lucy. I’m safe here. Lucy, Johnson, even the police seemed convinced that Eureka was the safest place for me to be. I take a step to go downstairs when there is a loud knock on the door. I scramble back to the hall and pick up the phone, ready to call nine-one-one. What will I say? A stranger is knocking on the door? That’s hardly an emergency.

There’s another loud knock, then a voice yells my name. “Hey Dani, it’s me.” It’s Nick! My heart does a happy dance while my stomach exits my throat.

I bolt down the stairs and open the door. “I’m sorry, I was in the bathroom.” Great, I just told Nick Marino I was using the bathroom.

“That’s alright.” He smiles his Nick smile. “I just wanted to see if you felt like going to a party.”

“Right now?”

“Yeah,” he says apologetically. “I was going to ask you before, but you said you had to go home.” He runs his hand through his thick dark hair. “I just really want to hang out with you a little longer.”

I don’t want this night to end either, but I hate parties. Especially parties that may include Heather King.

Nick runs his hand through his hair again. “So, do you think you can go?” His right eyebrow arches, and the hairs on my arm stand at attention.

No, no way. Lucy will freak out if she comes home and you’re gone. You can’t leave this house.

I hear cheering in the front room. Nick must be here—time to work. I splash water on my face and open the bathroom door. Two girls squeeze past me and slam the door. I don’t know how long I’ve been hiding in there, but the line is all the way down the hall. After K’s NASCAR-level driving from the beach to his house two blocks away, I was spinning. I felt better after dunking my head in a sink of cold water.

I find Nick in the kitchen with K. He pulls the bag of pills out of his pocket and opens it. “Tell Troy I said welcome home.” Nick places half a dozen pills in K’s hand. Troy is K’s older cousin. He just finished his first year of college and is home for the summer. He’s six foot two and close to three hundred pounds. He plays defensive end for Washington State. I don’t think he’s ever said more than five words to me that weren’t:

Get the fuck out of my way.

Hey, fag, did your boyfriend pick that outfit for you?

Or my favorite: What are you buying me for lunch today?

Troy was the meanest bully Eureka High has ever seen. Everyone sleeps easier now that he’s gone. From what I’ve read about thizz, I’m anxious to see how it will affect Troy’s naturally volatile demeanor.

“Have you tried it?” K asks while pumping a beer from the keg in the middle of his kitchen floor.

“Not yet.” Nick smiles at me and hands me a pill. I didn’t realize I’d actually take one. I was so juiced about the music I forgot the real reason we were here. The pill is smaller than your average headache medicine and has a chalky feel to it. Each one is stamped with a dolphin. “That’s sort of lame. Why not a shark or something? It might as well be a fuckin’ goldfish.” We laugh at Nick’s lame association, but neither one of us take the pill.

“What are you bitches doing in here?” I freeze when I hear Troy’s voice. He reaches around me for the freshly pumped beer in K’s hand.

K hands him the beer. “Have you heard of thizz?”

“You punks never thizzed?” Troy scoffs. He stops laughing when K holds out his hand to show him the pills.

“Welcome home,” Nick says to let him know he is to thank for the freebies. Troy never disrespects Nick, but he doesn’t really like him either.

Troy nods to Nick as he swipes the pills from K. “Li’l bitches,” he mumbles as he leaves the kitchen.

“Fuck him.” K whispers so Troy doesn’t hear. “Let’s do it.” K grabs a cup to pump another beer. Nick and I smile like we’re ready, but I hesitate. I see Nick pause, too. K is about to pop the pill in his mouth when the doorbell rings. “I better get that.” K palms his pill and hurries to the door before his cousins scare off the guests.

“We should wait for K,” I suggest.

“Ok, but if anyone asks, it’s the best shit you ever had.” He winks as the kitchen fills with people. He leaves to go mingle and I stay behind to freak out.

I palm the pill and wonder if I can get away with not taking it. Once the party gets started, Nick will be busy making sales and fighting off chicks. I doubt he’ll even care whether I take it or not. Tonight, I’ll be an observer. I’ll take notes on how people react to the pills, how long the high lasts, and I’ll report it all back to Nick. I really don’t know how else I can contribute to Nick’s business. I’m not a drug dealer. Hell, I’m not even a user. None of us have ever done anything other than weed. In Humboldt County, the consensus is that marijuana should be legal, so it never felt wrong. Cocaine and meth are pretty much limited to the tweakers and freaks that live on the edge of town. Popping a pill is a whole new level for all of us.

I’m smashed between a couple of giggling girls and a massive guy in a dark hallway; we’re all waiting for the bathroom. Lucy is going to kill me. I keep thinking about the note I taped to the inside of the front door. Lucy always puts the chain on when she gets home, so she won’t miss it. I said I was invited to a party but I didn’t tell her who I was with or where I was going. She shouldn’t object to this. She wanted normal. I’m giving her normal. I mean, this is normal right? I look at the girls in front of me; they look normal. The guy looks, uh, huge. He catches me eyeing him and smiles. I look past him, down the hall like I’m looking for someone. I don’t know anyone here except Nick. I don’t even have to use the bathroom. I just felt overwhelmed walking into a house full of strangers wondering who the hell I am and how I ended up on the arm of Nick Marino. I’m still trying to figure that out myself.

The bathroom door swings open and Matt walks out.

Matt.

Something inside me lights up at the sight of him. Maybe it’s just the idea that I know someone besides Nick. He stumbles down the hall and disappears into the living room before I even have a chance to call his name. He didn’t look like he was up for small talk. He wasn’t all that pleasant when I saw him earlier. He looks even worse now.

After I use the bathroom I walk back to the living room to find Nick. I really don’t want to jump back into his spotlight, but he’s the reason I’m here. The only reason.

“Hey, there you are.” Nick pulls me into his arms and kisses my forehead. “This is Dani.” Nick is beaming at me as if I’m the source of his light. I really do have him fooled.

“I’m K, welcome to my home.” K shakes my hand. “Can I get you a drink?”

“Nah, she doesn’t drink.” Nick winks at me.

“I don’t?” Do I look like the kind of girl that doesn’t drink? How pathetic.

Nick looks flustered. “I guess…I just…you didn’t want a beer at the bonfire, so I just thought you didn’t drink.”

Yeah, I declined a beer at the bonfire earlier, only because I wasn’t sure one of the girls hadn’t spiked it with poison. “I don’t drink beer,” I smile.

Nick raises an eyebrow at me. “Alright, get my girl a drink.” He puts his arm around me and pulls me close. He seems happy to learn I’m not a non-drinking geek. I just hope he doesn’t expect me to do shots or something. I’ve had alcohol—a glass of champagne on New Year’s Eve, a sip of my mother’s wine at a fancy restaurant. I’ve just never drank socially. I’ve never done anything socially, like go to a house party or a bonfire.

K disappears to get me a drink that isn’t beer, and a group of guys bombard Nick. I know one of them. Nick shakes his hand then turns to introduce me. The way he does it feels like something formal. Like he’s announcing I’m taken. It’s sort of possessive, but it makes me feel special. “Dani, this is my boy, Arnie.”

Arnie licks his lips and looks me up and down, like he’s trying to place me. He is disgusting.

“We have English together,” I remind him so he can stop staring. I don’t offer my hand for him to shake like I did with K.

Arnie snaps his fingers and says, “That’s right. You’re the new chick.” He continues nodding his head as if he’s answering a question in his mind.

It’s annoying. He is annoying.

“Can you really consider me new? I started school in February.” I don’t know why I’m challenging him. He isn’t worth it.

“You’ll always be the new girl.” Arnie takes a gulp from his red cup and walks away.

His words sting a little, but he’s right. I will never fit in here. I don’t want to. I have a plan. I’m sticking to my plan.

This party is not in my plan.

Nick motions for me to follow him and we head out of the living room, down the hall, into a bedroom.

Whoa.

Nick closes the door behind us. My pulse races.

Nothing about this feels right.

There’s a knock on the door. Nick opens it. K hands him a cup and smiles, then closes the door.

Holy shit, what is going on?

“Sorry, Arnie can be a douche sometimes.” Nick hands me the cup and leans against a white wicker dresser with his thumbs in his front pockets.

I take the cup and sniff it. It smells like vodka and orange juice. Who knows what else is in there.

Nick wouldn’t drug me, would he?

“Why don’t you sit down?” Nick motions behind me to the bed.

He’s crazy if he thinks I’m that easy. “I think I better go.” I put the cup on the nightstand and reach for the door.

“Wait.” He steps in front of me and I jump back. I don’t know any self-defense, it’s the one class my mother never signed me up for. But I know where to kick a guy to put him down. “No, oh no!” He opens the door. “It’s not like that. I just thought we could…it’s quiet in here. I wanted to talk. That’s it. Just talk.” He tries to take my hand, but I jerk it away. The back of my legs are up against the bed. If he wanted, he could knock me down and jump on me in a matter of seconds. If he wanted to. The thought sends a shiver up my back. I’m not exactly sure if it’s the bad kind.

“I’m sorry. We can keep the door open.” Nick pushes the door until the knob hits the wall. “I won’t touch you.” He backs away from the door and walks around the bed to the other side of the room. “See, you can leave anytime you want.”

My cheeks flush. Of course Nick isn’t a rapist. I bet girls line up to sleep with him. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have brought you in here. It’s just loud out there, and I really want to spend time with you. Without Arnie or anyone else bothering us.”

I’m probably the only girl at this party afraid to be alone with Nick Marino. I should be grateful I’m even here. He could be in this room with a girl that wants to be ravaged by the hottest boy in school. Instead he’s stuck with me, and from the look on his face, he’s regretting it. I need to keep the façade going. I don’t want him to see the huge mistake standing across the room.

I relax my shoulders and lean against the wicker dresser like I’m cool, like I belong here. Nick is leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the room. We’re separated by the bed. Gulp.

“Whose room is this?” The bed is small, full-size at most. It’s draped with floral bedding and matching throw pillows. Beside the bed is a small white nightstand with a seashell-covered lamp. It’s the only source of light in the room.

“K’s family rents it…” Nick stops mid-sentence and takes a sip of his beer. “These units come furnished.”

“Your family owns this house?” I pick up my drink and sit on the edge of the bed. I smell it one more time and wet my lips with the contents.

“They own the block.” They he says, not we. He really does disassociate himself from it all. “Look, I hate talking about my family.” Nick sits on the other side of the bed. It’s nice to know he’s just as uncomfortable talking about family as I am. It’s another thing we have in common.

“What do you want to talk about?” I take a sip of my drink and pretend it isn’t burning my throat.

Nick runs his hand through his hair and smiles the sexiest smile I’ve ever seen. A smile that tells me the idea of being thrown on the bed and ravished by this boy is not what I’m afraid of. I’m not scared he will. I’m worried he won’t.

“Have you ever heard of thizz?”

I lean against the wall in the living room, watching the crowd. The keg is flowing, blunts are being passed. I haven’t seen Nick since the kitchen an hour ago. I wonder if he’s hooking up with someone already. Part of me wants it to be true, and part of me doesn’t. I don’t want him to hurt Dani, but my life would suck a lot less if he did. I can’t get her out of my head. The way she smelled when I hugged her. The pissed-off look on her face when I let her go. I’m a fucking idiot. She doesn’t want me, she never did.

K puts on one of the CDs I made and cranks it up. During my thizz research, I found a bunch of songs about the drug and downloaded them from LimeWire. If the pills are a bust, I can probably make some money selling bootlegged CDs. The hard-hitting bass and raspy lyrics confuse the crowd. Only K’s cousins and a few other people know the words and sing along. By the time the second verse hits, half the party is on their feet. Troy and the other cousins, who haven’t moved from the sofa, are now socializing with the rest of the guests. The pills we passed out must be kicking in. Fifteen minutes ago this was a room full of strangers, now people are treating each other like long-lost friends. Lots of hugs and high fives going around the room. Hell, I’m even smiling, and I haven’t taken anything.

The CD is on its second rotation when Troy turns it off to make a toast. He stands in the middle of the room, holding a bottle of Hennessy towards K. “Cuz, you’re like a little brother. I can’t tell you how much it means to have you throw this party for me.” He pounds his fist against his enormous chest and looks to be fighting back tears. “I love you, bro.” He reaches for K. They hug as the crowd oohs and aahs. Troy’s brothers join them, turning the hug into a mountain of flesh and frizzy hair. Then one of them jumps back and says, “Let’s get hyphy in this bitch!” They break apart and K turns the music back up.

Watching the crowd become overtaken by thizz isn’t like watching someone chug a beer or take a shot. After a shot, your body shivers in disgust. When the thizz hits, everyone in the house looks like they are having the time of their lives.

I spot Nick walking into the kitchen and make my way through hands and bodies to reach him. I have to fight off two chicks that want desperately to make me the meat in their dance sandwich. I slap away their roaming hands and stumble into the kitchen. “Fuck! There are some aggressive chicks out there.”

“I guess that answers my question.” Nick laughs.

I look at Nick like he’s speaking another language. “What question?”

“I was going to ask if you took your pill, but you wouldn’t be bitchin about getting gang-raped by some wasted chicks if you did.” Nick looks past me towards the girls dancing like strippers in the doorway. I realize it’s the notorious Martinez twins—Alisa and Amy. They’re not really twins, just cousins. They look like rejects from a rap video, grinding on each other in a way that I’ve only seen on cable television. Neither of them have ever looked in my direction; now they’re all over me.

“What are you thinking? The one on the right?” The question is a test. I want to see how serious he is about Dani.

“Alisa Martinez, huh? She is hot.” Nick grins and nudges me with his elbow. “She’s all you, Matty.”

“You’re right, the one on the left it more your type.” The girl on the left puts a lollipop in her mouth then takes it out slowly, letting the tip linger between her lips before sucking it back in. Even I’m getting turned on.

“Nah, I’m good.” Nick turns back to the cup on the counter like there aren’t two hot chicks ready to drop to their knees a few feet away. “Actually I wanted to tell you…”

He didn’t bite, but he’s sober. All of that will change once we take a pill.

“Let’s do it.” I take the pill from my pocket and hold it up. Nick stops talking and offers me the cup in his hand. I take a huge gulp and fight the urge to gag. “Oh, shit! Why the fuck are you drinking vodka?” I grab a beer from the ice chest on the ground and pop the top on the edge of the counter. I take a long drink, and fear starts to resonate over what I’ve just done.

“It’s not for me. I was trying to tell you that I brought…”

Nick is saying something, but I can’t focus on him. I just took a pill. A drug. An illegal drug. I’m freaking out.