Текст книги "From Ashes"

Автор книги: Molly McAdams

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I couldn’t bring myself to respond to him; I didn’t want him seeing this. Didn’t want him to know I was so messed up that from Max grabbing my arm, I’d begun having a full-on meltdown in front of everyone. Tyler gently squeezed the back of my neck as his whispering continued, over and over. I wrapped my arms around his waist and moved my head so it was resting against his chest. His lips pressed down on my head and his whispers slowed, changing slightly.

“That’s it, sweetheart, you’re okay. I’m here, I’m always here for you. I love you, Cass, you’re all right, I got you.”

“Ty—man, what happened?”

I felt Tyler’s head shake as he continued whispering.

“Holy crap, Gage!” Amanda said loudly. “You knocked Max out cold. I think you busted his nose . . . again.”

“Amanda,” Tyler growled at the same time Gage hissed, “Shut up, Manda!”

My body started shaking harder, and I pulled myself closer to Tyler and farther from Gage. I didn’t want to hear that, I didn’t want to think about what had happened between him and Max. I focused on nothing but Tyler so those images wouldn’t put themselves in my mind.

“I need to get her back to the house,” Tyler said, still speaking softly. “Are we good to go?”

When the others agreed, he moved me so he could get onto the passenger seat as well and pulled me onto his lap. My head instantly dropped to the crook of his neck and I let his large arms, warm scent, and soft words continue to soothe me all the way back to the ranch.

Once we were back, Tyler gave me one of his shirts and gently pushed me into the bathroom. I took a quick shower; dressed in his shirt, which came down to my thighs; and made my way back to Amanda’s room. Gage had been standing there with Tyler, but after one look at me, his expression turned worried and he didn’t say a word as I walked past him and went to the sofa bed in the far corner of the bedroom. The guys left when Amanda came to get in her own bed, and once she was asleep Tyler was slipping under the comforter with me. My rock . . . my best friend. I didn’t know what I would ever do without him. His arms went around me and I curled myself tighter into him, taking a deep breath in. Finally feeling safe in his arms, I closed my eyes as my shaking slowed to a stop and I drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Six

G AGE

I KEPT TOSSING and turning in bed. Cassidy was going back to Austin tomorrow, and I wouldn’t see her for three weeks. This last week had been more torturous than living with them, and I was seriously considering not letting her go back with Ty. Despite the things that had happened in the last year, and what happened at the beginning of the week at the bonfire, I knew for sure she was in love with me too. Mama didn’t have to tell me that she didn’t look at Ty the way she looked at me; I’d known that from day one. But my entire family was now convinced she wanted me too, and I think that made watching her with Tyler harder than ever. Before, I kept telling myself I was only seeing what I wanted to; now I knew that wasn’t it, and I needed to try to get in her head one more time. Besides, Mama and my sisters, especially Amanda, had taken a huge likin’ to Cassidy, and I knew I wasn’t the only one who wanted her in our family now.

Jumping out of bed, I threw on a pair of jeans and the first shirt my hands touched before quietly making my way to Amanda’s room. After making sure my sister was completely out—since apparently she had been awake every morning when I woke Cassidy up for my hug and decided to fill Mama and my sisters in on that bit of information—I walked over to Cassidy’s bed and didn’t waste time. I brushed her hair away from her face and pressed my mouth to her neck and cheek before saying low in her ear, “Wake up, darlin’.”

Her eyes shot open and she looked at me, confused, for a moment. “Gage? Is it already time for you to go to work?”

“Not even close.”

“Oh.” She yawned and tried to lean over to look at Amanda. “Then what are you doing?”

“You wanna go for a ride with me?”

She paused. “Right now?”

“If you want to go back to sleep we don’t have to . . .” God, this was a bad idea.

“Who’s going?”

“Just us.”

Her eyes widened and a soft smile touched her lips. “ ’Kay, let’s go.” She crawled out of bed and looked at me, then down at herself. “Uh . . . what should I wear?”

I looked at her little body in those short sleep shorts and that form-fitting sleeveless shirt; my body started burning and my pants got tighter just looking at her. “That.”

Cassidy pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and even in the dark I could see her cheeks went red. “Guess I’m ready then.”

Grabbing her hand, I led her through the dark house, snatching a blanket out of the closet on the way out, and had Bear saddled up and both of us on him in no time. I could have gotten Star ready for her, but I wanted this excuse to have my arms around her, her back against my chest.

I led Bear to a creek that ran through my favorite part of the ranch and tied his reins around a tree branch on top of the hill before spreading out the blanket and lying down with Cass. We talked for two hours about the ranch, the stars, the quiet other than the light wind and cicadas, and the fireflies, which were her favorites. Cassidy began yawning a lot and I started to wonder if I should take her back, but I wasn’t ready to end this.

“I’m going to miss it here.” She sighed softly. “It’s so beautiful, all of it.”

“You can come back as often as you’d like.”

She smiled as she rolled on her side to look at me. “I’d wear out my welcome if I came here as much as I wanted to.”

“Not possible, my family loves you.” I love you.

“I’m going to miss them too; they’re so amazing. I’ve never really been close with any other girls, even Jackie. I mean, she’s a good friend and all, but it’s just not how I feel with your mom and sisters. I wish I could’ve had family like that growing up.”

God, there were so many things I wanted to say, but every single one of them was too much. I’d just scare her away. She yawned again and I sat up. “You’re tired, I should get you back.”

She grabbed my arm and pulled me back down, scooting up to lay her head on my chest. “Not yet. Going back means I have to leave you, and I don’t want to.”

My heart skipped a beat, then took off. “Cassidy.” I placed my fingers under her chin and tilted her head back; her honey eyes were bright in the moonlight. I slid out from under her head and hovered over her, my lips within an inch of hers. “Please don’t leave.”

Brushing my mouth across hers, her breath caught and eyes darkened before she wrapped her hands around my neck and crushed her mouth to mine. Our lips moved against each other, and a soft whimper escaped her throat when I caught her bottom lip between my teeth. Exactly the way I’d wanted to from the first night of meeting her. I pressed my body against hers and couldn’t stop my groan when her tongue met mine and she ran her hands through my hair. Lowering my body to hers, I wanted to die when she hitched her knees onto my hips; placing both forearms on either side of her head to hold my weight, I ground my hips into hers and was rewarded with a sweet-as-sin moan. God, I wanted her, to feel her and hear her sigh my name, but I knew I needed to restrain myself from anything like that for now, which meant I needed to stop kissing her. I just didn’t want to. I wanted to rip her shorts and shirt off and spend the rest of the night worshipping her body, I wanted to make her moan like that again and again . . . damn it, I really needed to stop. I forced our kisses to slow until our lips were barely brushing each other and tried not to think about slamming into her.

When I finally calmed down, I opened my eyes and saw her looking at me under heavy eyelids. “You’re so beautiful, Cassidy,” I whispered against her cheek before kissing it.

Her cheeks were still stained pink from our kiss and her lips tilted up in a soft smile I was beginning to realize she only ever gave me. My smile.

We stared at each other while her eyes slowly closed a little more and I knew I had two options: take her back to the main house and say good night, or keep her with me. “Come here.” I pulled her into my arms and rolled onto my back so she was lying across my chest. Kissing the top of her head, I relaxed under her. “Get some sleep, darlin’.”

She nodded against my chest and pressed her lips there twice before curling against me. “Good night, Gage.”

Good night indeed.

C ASSIDY

I WOKE UP with my back curled into Gage’s chest, my head resting on one of his arms, his other wrapped securely around my waist. Last night wasn’t a dream. Oh my God, Gage kissed me, and I slept in his arms. I took a deep breath in and out and couldn’t help the huge smile that broke across my face. Tyler had been wrong about everything; Gage did want me. His arm tightened around my waist before he intertwined my fingers with his and brought my hand back to his lips.

“Morning.” His rich voice was even deeper from sleep.

“Good morning.” I rolled over and blushed as I placed my lips to his neck. I wasn’t sure how things were supposed to be this morning, but I couldn’t stop myself. I held my breath for a few seconds until his wide smile and dimples came into view right before his lips pressed softly to mine. My whole body started tingling the instant his mouth was on me. Dear Lord, if I had known kissing Gage would feel like this, I would have tried to make it happen long ago.

He pulled away, but placed two more quick kisses on my lips before sitting up and pulling me with him. “Come on, I need to get back to the house.” He must have seen the hurt in my eyes, because his went wide and he cupped my face. “I wouldn’t go back unless I had to. My dad’s probably already pissed that I wasn’t there this morning. I’m not going to work today though; we’ll get ready and I’ll take you to another spot on the ranch that I want you to see. Just us. But I need to tell him I won’t be around today.” His eyes were bright and though he tried to contain his smile, his dimples gave him away.

I got up and helped him fold up the blanket. “I thought I’d seen the whole ranch.”

“Not even close, you’ve only seen about half. Where I want to take you, though, it isn’t too far from the house, but it’s really secluded.”

My stomach heated and I was suddenly extremely anxious to get to wherever he was talking about. Leaning into his side when he wrapped an arm around me, I smiled and let him lead me back to his horse. The ride back to the house was quiet, like last night, but it was nowhere near the same. He played with my hands, teased my neck with his lips, and made sure Bear took his sweet time going back. I was nervous when we came across Gage’s dad, but he took one look at us, smiled wide, and told us to enjoy our day together.

“I need to take care of Bear. I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

“Okay, I’m going to take a shower, but I’ll try to hurry.” I turned but he grabbed my hand and swung me back into his chest, kissing me deeply.

“See you soon.”

My head felt light and my stomach fluttered as I quickly made my way up to Amanda’s room to grab a change of clothes and rush through my shower. I couldn’t wait to get back to him. For almost a year now he had consumed my every thought, and I believed I’d never be able to have him. It felt like it was too good to be true now that I did, or at least, I thought I did. I didn’t know if this would change when I went back to Austin today, or when he came back in August. I shook my head to clear those thoughts. Gage wouldn’t just drop me like that; even when I thought I was only his friend, he cared too much to treat me that way.

A startled yelp escaped from my chest when I bounced back into Amanda’s room; she was gone and Ty was sitting on my bed. “Tyler! You scared the crap out of me!” I got a closer look and rushed over to him. “What’s wrong, Ty?”

“Where were you this morning?”

I bit my lip and looked away. “I was with Gage.”

“Cassi,” he groaned, and flopped back onto the sofa bed, “why are you doing this? He’s only going to hurt you.”

“No, he won’t.”

“Do you not remember anything he’s said about you since we moved in?”

How could I forget? He didn’t want me living there, I needed to stop asking him to take me to work, I was like a sister to him, I was ruining his relationships with other girls by being in the apartment. “Maybe he changed his mind,” I said softly.

Tyler shook his head and hugged me to his side. “If he hurts you, I’ll kill him.”

“He won’t.”

“Whatever you say, Cassi. I know I’ve stopped you from being in relationships before, but I won’t anymore. If he’s who you want, then you should be with him. But you’re still my girl; you always will be.”

“I love you, Ty. If it eases your mind, no one will ever replace you.”

He smirked at me. “Duh.”

I laughed and smacked his chest. “I feel bad for my future husband. He’s going to have to share me with you.”

“How about we just marry each other, save everyone the heartache?” he teased, and squeezed me closer.

“You’re so dumb. All right, I gotta go do my hair really quick. He’s taking me around the ranch today. I’ll be back before we leave. Did your parents still want to leave tonight?” I dragged the last few words out.

“Probably earlier in the afternoon . . . am I missing something?”

I scrunched my face as I peeked at him from under my eyelashes. “I don’t want to leave; I want to stay here with Gage until he moves back. But I don’t know if he’d be okay with that. I don’t know if he’d want me here for the next few weeks.”

Tyler’s face fell, but he kissed my forehead and got off the bed. “Talk to him about it before you leave this morning; that way if you both decide you want to stay, my parents and I can leave earlier and you won’t have to cut your day short.”

“Hey.” I reached for his hand and spoke softly. “Thanks, Ty.”

“I love you. Be careful with this, Cassi.”

I nodded and watched him walk out the door. Was he really that worried about me getting my heart broken? He looked so sad I almost told him I wouldn’t stay on the ranch and would go back to Austin with them today. Almost.

G AGE

MY HEART PICKED up when I heard someone come down the stairs, but it went back to normal when I realized just how loud it was, right before Tyler rounded the corner. A huge shit-eating grin was on his face. “What’s got you in such a good mood? You that happy to be leaving today?” My stomach clenched; I really didn’t want Cassidy going back.

He raised an eyebrow at me and grabbed a mug. “If your girl woke you up by blowing you, you’d be happy too.”

I choked on my coffee and had to wait a minute before I could speak again. “Excuse me?”

“What?”

“What did you just say?”

His brow furrowed and he looked at me, confused, then his face relaxed and he smiled behind his mug. “Oh, about Cassi? I swear, the things that girl can do with her mouth.”

I slammed my mug onto the table and the chair tipped over from how fast I stood up.

“Whoa, Gage, what’s your deal? The cows will still be there if you’re late.”

Breathe. Just breathe. There was no way he was being serious; he was just trying to piss me off like always. He still had that cocky smirk and I wanted to punch him. Breathe, Gage. My hand fisted on top of the table and I turned to leave the house before I could act on it, but just before I hit the living room, I heard Cassidy coming down the stairs. I needed to ask her about their relationship myself; I was so damn tired going back and forth through Tyler. Turning on my heel, I headed back through the dining room, slowing down when I heard Tyler speak.

“Well, good morning, gorgeous!”

Cassidy laughed lightly. “You act like we didn’t just say that a few minutes ago.”

My stomach dropped when I heard that, right before I rounded the corner to see her fall into Tyler’s arms. He squeezed her to him, kissing her cheek softly.

“Did you talk to him?” he asked when he pulled back to look at her face.

“Gage? No, not yet, but I will.”

“Well, you need to do it soon.”

She sighed and stepped away. “I know, I’m just nervous, I don’t know how he’ll react to this.”

“Get out,” I choked.

Cassidy jumped and turned to see me, her eyes wide. Tyler just raised an eyebrow at me.

“Gage?” She looked worried.

I can’t believe I fell for her shit. “I said get the fuck out. Both of you.”

“What?” She clutched her stomach, her eyes filled with tears.

Without another word, I stormed out of the main house and grabbed Bear, heading off toward the place I’d wanted to take Cass too. The house my dad and I had been slowly building since I was sixteen. Whenever I got married, this would be where we lived, and I’d never wanted to show it to anyone before meeting Cassidy.

Walking around it now, I thought about how perfect it would be for her. Over winter break and the first two months this summer we’d expanded the kitchen, and I knew Cassidy would have loved it. Hell, I’d expanded it for her. There was a large bathtub in the master bathroom as well, and I smiled remembering the conversation with her months ago about how she would kill to have a tub that she could relax in. The ones in our apartment weren’t much in the way of relaxing, but this one was. I walked back out to what would be the living room and sank onto the wood floor, my head between my knees. Other than windows and the wraparound porch I still wanted to build, all the house needed was furniture, and it would be finished. But that would be up to Cassidy to pick all that out. No, not Cassidy. My wife. Whoever that might be, because obviously it wouldn’t be her.

My heart ached and I kept replaying last night and that morning in my head. I’d been so sure last night before waking her up, and then after our time out by the creek, I knew I had been right. Cassidy and I belonged together. I thought about Tyler’s statement and Cassidy’s confirmation when she walked into the kitchen and I felt sick. Raking my hands through my hair, I fell back so I was lying on the floor and looked up at the ceiling through blurred eyes. God, what was happening to me? I couldn’t remember the last time I cried. No . . . I did. It was when my grandma died when I was little. And now this girl, who apparently had no issues leading on one guy and messing around with another, was bringing it all out. I wanted to kick myself for falling for her. For spending an entire year miserable because I couldn’t be with her, and for once again letting myself think I could.

The sun had begun setting when my dad walked into my house. “Figured I’d find you here.”

“Here I am.” I let one arm make a sweeping motion before bringing it back to rest on my chest.

“You want to tell me why I walked into a house full of my confused family and a seriously pissed off Bradley family?”

“Not really.”

“What about why Cassidy seemed so odd? She wouldn’t speak to anyone—hell, she looked about as messed up as you did before she got here.”

“Are they gone?”

“Left a few hours ago.”

“I can’t move back in with them, Dad. I need to get my own place this year.”

He sat down next to me and stared at the stone fireplace. “We’re not leaving until you tell me what’s going on. From what I saw this morning, I wouldn’t have expected what I witnessed this afternoon.” He looked down at me. “Or what I’m seeing right now.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said after a few silent minutes. “I thought she liked me. I was wrong. She’s still completely hung up on Tyler.”

“Sure didn’t look like it this past week.”

I groaned. “I know that, Dad. But trust me. They made it extremely clear this morning who she wanted to be with.”

“How so?”

“I’d rather not repeat what I heard them saying.”

“Maybe you didn’t get the whole story.”

“No, I’m pretty sure I heard the entire damn thing.”

He stood up and stretched his back. “Well, I can’t change your mind; no one can. But I just sat there listening to your sisters and mother trying to figure out what could have happened. And they all came to the conclusion that you hurt her. From the time they spent with her this week, apparently she was all talk about you, and not a damn thing about your cousin.”

“I hurt her?!” I sat up and looked at him incredulously. “All she’s ever done is rip my fucking heart out!”

My dad didn’t seem surprised by my outburst, just stood there waiting to see if I was finished.

“I hate feeling whatever this is, and caring so much about her. There’s no reason some insignificant girl should make me this crazy.”

“Insignificant?” he said after I’d lain back down with a huff. “You really think that?”

“No, Dad . . . I don’t. I’m just mad right now. Even after what happened this morning, I came here and thought about every part of the house I knew she would love. What I still wanted to add for her, and about how she would make this our home.” I sat there clutching my chest, the ache there almost unbearable. “But that won’t happen.”

He opened his mouth but shut it and continued to stare at the fireplace.

“I can’t take this. It’s like I told you a week ago before they showed up. I already hurt thinking about not having her in my life somehow. Even as just a friend. But I don’t know how to do that. I love her too much to just be her friend, and it kills me seeing them together. More so now. I don’t know what to do. I know I need to move out, but I know I won’t be able to stay away either. It’s like I’m asking for her to keep breaking my heart.”

“I don’t know what will happen. But I think you should give it some time. You’re a part of the triangle, which means you didn’t get to see things the way the rest of us did. I admit it’s strange the way she clings to Tyler, and if I’d never seen her look at you, I would think they’re a couple too. But I did see the way she looked at you, we all did, and there’s no doubt—well . . .

“Maybe you should move out. Do that, and you can decide from there how to approach her. Whether that’s as a friend or if you keep fighting for her, you’ll decide then. You have three more weeks until you go back to Austin. Let’s finish out the summer work, then you can find a new place, concentrate on finishing school, and let the rest happen as it’s supposed to.” He made his way to the door. “I’ll explain the situation to the girls, but you should come back to the house soon. I know you’ve been gone all day; you need to eat something, and there’s a storm rollin’ in. Should be here for the next few days.”

“I’m right behind you,” I said from the spot on the floor I hadn’t moved from since that morning.

“It’ll all work out the way it’s supposed to.”

I thought about Tyler holding Cass that morning. “That’s what I’m worried about.”