Текст книги "From Ashes"
Автор книги: Molly McAdams
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Текущая страница: 15 (всего у книги 23 страниц)
Chapter Fourteen
G AGE
I DIDN’T HAVE to open my eyes to know Cassidy wasn’t in the bed with me when I woke up. Not only was my arm not touching anything but cool sheets, but everything Cassidy was just missing. Rolling out of bed, I hit the restroom, then stalked quickly out to the living room. Did she not feel comfortable sleeping next to me after what happened last night? I’d been kicking myself all the way home and after we’d finally gotten here. I couldn’t believe she’d agreed to come back with me, but even with that, she still looked at me with so much fear I felt sick, even now.
I paused only momentarily when I found the living room and kitchen empty, and went straight to the spare bedroom. After a quick look to see the bed made and no Cassidy, I shut the door and went back to my room for my phone. It was only then I saw the note underneath it.
Gage—
Please understand, I have to do this. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I’ll call you when I can. I’m sorry for leaving while you were sleeping, but I knew you’d try to stop me. Forgive me.
I love you. Always.
Cassidy
She left. Cass left me.
I grabbed the lamp that was sitting on the nightstand and launched it across the room, listening to it shatter when it hit the wall. Stop her?! Of course I’d have stopped her! I couldn’t live without her, I wouldn’t have let her go. Glancing at my phone, I realized she must have turned my alarm off too, because it was already a little past five in the morning. I was supposed to have taken her to work already. Screw this, I wouldn’t have let her go if I was awake, and I’m not letting her go this way either. I know I scared her last night, but it was an accident and even with her past I know we can get through this.
Pulling on the first clothes I found, I started to head out when I had another thought. I walked into our bathroom and had to pull in a few deep breaths through my nose when I noticed her stuff missing. Turning, I walked to the spare room and had to grip the frame of the closet door when I realized she’d cleared out most of her clothes.
“Damn it!” I roared as I raced out of the house and to my truck.
I was at Starbucks in no time and rushed in without even turning my truck off.
“Jesse!”
He turned, his face clearly confused. “Gage, man, what’s going on?”
“Is Cassidy here?” I asked breathlessly even as I rounded the corner to go into the back.
“No, that’s why I’m asking you what’s going on. She called about forty-five minutes ago, said she was leaving for California with some guy named Tyler. Do you know who he is and why the hell she’d just up and go to California?”
That stopped me dead. Cass hadn’t just left me. She’d left me for Tyler and she’d gone back to California. To what? His parents’? Why wouldn’t she have just stayed with him? None of that mattered right now; I felt like I was going to be sick again at the thought of losing Cassidy for good this time, and once again to my cousin. “You’re sure?”
“What?”
“Jesse, are you sure that’s what she said?”
“Yeah, now what the hell’s going on?”
I couldn’t answer at first, I just sat there staring at nothing. “It’s just what she told you; Cassidy—Cassi’s gone.” God, she was really gone. I wanted to fly to California and beg her to come back here with me, but she’d made her choice, and honestly, I’d had Cassidy leave me too many times for me to believe she’d come back to me again. A part of me hoped she wouldn’t, because I knew in the end she’d just end up leaving again. Just like Tyler said she would, and I’d be in the same fuckin’ heartbroken spot I was always in.
“Well, why did she go?” Jesse no longer looked confused; he was glaring accusingly.
“I don’t know,” I called over my shoulder as I turned to leave, “she told you more than me.”
Before I got all the way out the door my phone started ringing, and I almost threw it across the parking lot when I saw Tyler’s name.
“What?! Christ, Ty, I swear if you called me to throw all this in my face, we are done. Forever, you got that?”
“I’m not, and I don’t have a lot of time, man, Cassi’s gonna come back from the bathroom and getting food and she’s gonna be pissed if she knows I called you.” He let out a hard, fast breath and started mumbling to himself, “I can’t believe I’m about to do this for you. I can’t fuckin’ believe it . . .” Then with a deep breath in he said quickly and quietly, “Look, Gage, by the way you answered the phone, you’ve already figured out she’s gone. So I don’t have to tell you that part, but I don’t want you to think she just left you. My dad called me early this morning to tell me Cassi’s house burned to the ground, and as far as everyone can tell, her mom and Jeff were in the house still.”
“Shit,” I hissed under my breath. But if that happened, why didn’t she wake me? Yeah, there were still a couple weeks of school left before graduation, but I would’ve dropped everything to have been there for her.
“Yeah, look, Cassi isn’t torn up about it, but she needs to be in California right now. I didn’t know until I was on my way that she wasn’t going to wake you, and I’ve tried to talk to her about it but every time I do she starts to slip away. You know what I’m talking about when I say that, right?”
I did. Her mask. My least favorite thing in the world. “Yeah, I know.”
“Bro, as much as I hate it . . . swear to God I hate you two together more than almost anything, but I hate seeing Cassi like this more. It was worse when we got back from the ranch last year, like a hundred times worse, but right now she’s so focused on numbing herself because of what happened last night that she’s able to hide a lot of what she’s feeling right now.” He paused for an intense few heartbeats before continuing more slowly. “Even with that, she’s miserable. She’s wearing one of your shirts, Gage, and every five minutes like clockwork she smells the collar; I don’t think she even realizes she’s doing it. I’m sure her leaving without saying a word killed you, that’s why I called—”
“She left a note,” I interrupted, and pulled the small piece of paper out of my back pocket to read it to Tyler.
“God, Cassi, that made it so much worse than it had to be,” Tyler mumbled, more to himself than anything. “Listen, I was already thinking this, and after hearing what she wrote, that’s classic Cassi. I know what she’s doing, Gage. She’s scared; this is what she does when she runs away. She’s not running from your relationship, and I don’t know if she would have even left period if I hadn’t called about her mom’s house. So just focus on that; she’s not running from you, she’s running from her past and fears, ’kay?”
“I don’t know, that’s not what it feels like.” I climbed into my truck and rested my head against the hand that was gripping the steering wheel. “You called it, Ty, you said I would do something like this to her.”
“Gage, I was just trying to scare you off. I know you wouldn’t touch her. I was pissed that you had her and . . . I don’t know, I wanted you to think you would lose her.”
“And now I have.”
“You haven’t. Look, last night, I was all for making you feel like shit even though I know you had no idea that was Cassi standing behind you. I know you wouldn’t hurt her; you’re probably the only guy I would ever trust with her,” he admitted reluctantly. “So believe me when I say I’m not trying to make you feel bad about this next part. You know what happened to her; you don’t know the extent, but you know. Imagine having her past, then seeing your past come out of the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.”
My breath came out in a huff and I clenched the steering wheel harder.
“Cassi knows you’d never intentionally hurt her; I can see her struggling with what she knows and what she saw for that split second. I think she’s running away just while she tries to work through that, Gage. I saw the way you were beating yourself up before she asked me to leave the room, which means she saw it too. I know Cassi better than anyone. I have no doubt that what’s going through her mind is that her struggle to get through this is hurting you more. She probably thinks running away is what you want her to do.”
“How the hell could she think that I’d want her to leave?” My voice was shaking and low, but if I tried to push harder, I’d break. My girl was gone, and while I wanted to believe Tyler, I didn’t know if I could after all the times he’d screwed Cassi and me over.
“This is Cassi we’re talking about,” Tyler reasoned. “She’ll probably be back soon; I should go before she catches me on the phone.”
“I can’t lose her, Tyler.”
He groaned out a breath. “Yeah, I know. Just give her a little time; when she slips away, she’s usually gone for a few days at least, a week at most. You’ve never seen her like that because when I brought her to Texas, a couple times when she began to slip away, I was able to remind her we were away from her mom and Jeff. The only time she’s actually gone away since we’ve been here was when you moved out, so you weren’t there for that either. That was the worst I’ve ever seen it, and this one has to do with you too, so it might take a while. Don’t give up on her, and I’ll keep you updated, all right?”
“Why are you doing this? You’ve been trying to come between us this whole time, so why back off now?”
He was silent for a second. “I can’t lose her either. And last night, it finally hit me that I was about to. If nothing else, she’ll always be my best friend and I will always take care of her. Giving her ice packs at night or helping her not make the biggest mistake of her life by running from you—either way, I’ll take care of her.”
“Thanks, Tyler, I appreciate it.”
“Gotta go, bro.”
“Keep her safe for me, yeah?”
Tyler grunted in agreement. “Always. She loves you, Gage. She’ll come back to you.”
I knew she loved me, but nothing could convince me right then that she would come back to me. My head slowly shook back and forth as I dropped my phone onto the seat next to me.
C ASSIDY
“THIS IS JUST so—I don’t even know,” Tyler said with an exasperated sigh.
“It’s weird, right?” Weird didn’t even begin to describe it. It’s like I was looking at some stranger’s smoldering lot and melted Lexus, which now resembled a marshmallow that had caught on fire, not my mom’s. Other than that sick sense of relief, I felt nothing. No pain, no heartache, no longing.
According to the investigators, the fire started in the bar area, which wasn’t a surprise. As I said, that house had just as much liquor as an actual bar, and if Mom and Jeff were in there like the investigators believed, that settled that. Jeff smoked a lot, but being the rich prick he was, he liked smoking expensive loose tobacco out of a pipe like he was freaking Hugh Hefner, so he was always lighting up matches to take a couple puffs. Spill some Everclear, Jeff’s spirit of choice, and try to light his pipe next to that . . . and poof. There goes the bar and house.
We watched as a couple men and one woman walked cautiously around the ashes, searching through piles of brick and avoiding support beams that were still standing. Tyler wrapped his arms around my waist and drew me close into his chest as one of the men called out to the others. They all slowly made their way to him and peered closely for a few moments, called an officer over to them, and showed him whatever it was they’d found. I held my breath and Tyler’s arms tightened as the officer spoke to a detective and that detective walked over to where we were standing with Ty’s parents and half the neighborhood.
“Miss Jameson?”
“Yes?”
“I’m Detective Sanders, could we talk somewhere a little more private? Or if you would prefer we can speak in my car or at the station.”
“Why don’t we take this into the house, Cassidy?” Tyler’s dad, Jim, suggested.
Detective Sanders looked at a notepad quickly and clicked on a pen. “And you are?”
“This is James Bradley. The Bradleys are practically family and their house is just right there,” I answered, and pointed in the direction of their house.
“I’ll follow you.” Detective Sanders swept an arm out at the same time he motioned to another man wearing a suit who I had noticed watching me and Ty for some time now. I did a double take when I finally looked at his face. I would have sworn I knew him, I just couldn’t think of how. The man followed us and was introduced as Sanders’s partner, Detective Green, once we were in the house. “Miss Jameson, would you prefer to do this alone?”
“No, as I said, they’re practically family. And please, call me Cassidy.”
Sanders nodded and accepted a chair from Ty’s mom. “Cassidy, I know you already went over this when you arrived on scene, but to confirm what was reported to me, where were you this morning around midnight?”
“I was at my house in Austin, Texas.”
“And what brought you to Mission Viejo?”
“Tyler”—I waved over to Ty, who was sitting practically underneath me—“texted me close to three this morning, err . . . central time, asked if I’d heard from Mom or Jeff. I told him I hadn’t and after I called him he told me his dad had just called him saying there was a fire. He explained everything and said that he was coming to pick me up, we got on the first flight here, and here we are.”
Sanders nodded and scratched his cheek before flipping his notepad shut. “Cassidy, unfortunately it looks like we have some bad news.” He paused for a moment and looked up from his hands into my eyes. “The investigators seem to have found two bodies under some of the debris. They are beyond recognition at this point, so we’ll have to run some tests to confirm that they are your mother and stepfather. Unless you knew anyone else who was staying there, it looks like once the records come back, we’ll find them to be matches.”
I nodded and leaned into Tyler’s side when he wrapped his arm around me.
“Bradley family, would you please give us a few minutes?” he suddenly asked when Detective Green leaned forward to mumble something.
“You want me to go?” Tyler asked in my ear.
“Might as well, Ty, I’m fine.”
He nodded reluctantly and kissed my forehead.
“Miss Jameson—” Detective Green began.
“Cassidy,” I said, cutting him off, and studied him. Why did this guy look so familiar to me? There was something about him, but surely I’d never forget a face like that, especially those eyes. He and his partner were complete opposites. While Sanders was probably in his late forties, with dark red hair and graying sideburns, a stomach protruding over his belt, and height that any professional basketball player would kill for, Green was achingly handsome, probably in his late twenties, a little over half a foot taller than myself, with a lean muscular build and short brown hair that he obviously styled only by running his hand through it, just like Gage. Air filled my lungs in a rush as I thought about Gage.
“Cassidy, I find it quite interesting that you don’t seem upset in the least that your home just burned to the ground or that it’s most likely your parents’ bodies that were just found underneath the debris,” Green said with a weird, calm intensity that for a split second made my mind go blank and my heart flutter. What. On. Earth?
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel, Detective Green.”
“Well, I would understand if you were in shock, but you don’t seem to be that either. Like I said, it’s quite interesting.”
“Are you implying something, Detective Green?”
He leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees. “When was the last time you spoke to your mother or stepfather?”
Was he serious? Was I really being interrogated right now? Wait! Weren’t we supposed to be in a police station for something like that? Deciding that not cooperating would only make this worse, I thought about it for a few seconds. “I haven’t talked to Jeff since the morning I left for Texas; same with my mom. But she did text me on my birthday about a month later. So if you count the text, then I would say it’s been over a year and a half since I’ve had any type of communication with her, though I didn’t respond.”
“Bad relationship with your parents, Cassidy?” Green asked, looking at me with his steely gaze; Sanders had his notepad out again.
“Something like that.”
“Bad enough that you would want them killed?”
I looked directly into Detective Green’s pale blue eyes. God, those eyes seemed so familiar to me; my stomach fluttered again and I shook my head slowly. “I’m not a violent person, Detective Green, so much so that I can’t stand to even watch movies where there’s violence. So, no. I would never wish for anyone’s death.”
“Even not being close with your parents, Cassidy, it’s odd that you have no emotion regarding this entire situation.”
Taking a large breath, I was finally able to tear my gaze from his and worked at clearing my thoughts. “That house held memories that haunt my every thought; those people are what made those memories into nightmares. So no, Detective Green, I have no feelings regarding any of them being gone. I’m sorry if you think that means I somehow had something to do with this, but I don’t have one fond memory from California since the morning of my sixth birthday.”
Sanders stopped writing and shared an odd look with Green before Detective Green asked, “And your biological father? Would he have any reason to start this?”
My spine had straightened at the mention of my dad. “Detectives, do you believe this was arson?”
They shared another look and with a sigh Sanders admitted, “Investigators don’t believe it was, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be looking for someone who had a reason to want them dead.”
“Well, seeing as my dad died on the afternoon of my sixth birthday from a heart attack, I would say it wasn’t him either.”
When understanding hit both of them, Sanders attempted to hide a sheepish look as he scribbled more notes, and Green’s eyes softened; there went the stupid flutter in my stomach again.
“Honestly, no, I’m not upset that they’re both gone. But if you knew about my life, you wouldn’t blame me. And no, I had nothing to do with what happened this morning, and I doubt anyone did. Those people were drunks, and they were awful, but they didn’t have enemies, because for the last dozen years they’ve kept to themselves and their liquor. Which is why I’m not surprised the entire house went down so quickly. With the kind of stuff they kept around, it wouldn’t be much different from having bottles of gasoline just waiting to explode.” I stood and straightened myself to my full five feet, two inches . . . yeah, I’m sure I was real intimidating. “So if there’s anything else you need, detectives, I’ll leave my number with you so you can get ahold of me. Because of legal matters and funerals, I’ll be in California for a while. If you need me here longer, all you have to do is say the word.”
Not understanding, or not caring that I was politely asking them to leave, they didn’t move a muscle. “We can finish this here or at the precinct, Miss Jameson; sit down,” Sanders said quietly as he looked over some notes and crossed something out.
“What did you mean when you said, ‘if you knew about my life’?” Green asked.
My mouth shut as I looked back at Green’s light eyes; they still held that same intensity, but his face had completely transformed. He knew. I was so stupid; why had I kept talking?
“Cassi, go sit with my parents at the breakfast bar.”
I turned to see Tyler standing there staring at the detectives.
“I wasn’t—”
“Unless you’re about to arrest her, she’s done talking to you,” he said, cutting Green off, and my jaw dropped.
“Tyler!” I hissed.
“Cass, go. In. The. Kitchen.”
The detectives stood and Sanders shook my hand. Green grabbed my hand but didn’t shake it; he just held on and stepped close, saying, “That’s my card. You need anything, ever, you call me.” He looked at my eye for a long moment, then turned his attention to Tyler and glared at him. I could actually feel the anger coming off him in waves and it took me a moment to realize I had a freaking black eye.
Thinking about the shiner, how I must have looked like death after not sleeping at all last night and the emotional drain from the week with Isabella, I stifled a string of expletives that would have made a sailor proud and curled my hand into his, around the card in his palm. I wanted to explain that it wasn’t what it looked like, but then I realized that was probably what everyone said. I know it’s what I said to every person who wasn’t Tyler growing up.
That weird sense that I somehow knew this man came back when Green looked at me again. I nodded slightly and a soft grin crossed his face before he released my hand. I hurried past Tyler, who was now openly glaring at Green, and walked into the hall a few feet before tiptoeing back toward the den in time to hear Sanders ask Tyler if there was something he thought the detectives needed to know.
“I get it, you think she should be devastated that her childhood home and her parents are gone. It’s suspicious that she’s not, but she’s Cassi, so she’s not going to tell you what happened, and I know her not saying anything will only make her look even more suspicious and possibly get her in trouble later. Also, understand that I’m the only person Cassi has ever willingly told. I’ve told one other person and that person wasn’t either of my parents. So this isn’t something that she’s okay with being spread around; my parents don’t even know and as you can see she grew up a house away and we’re best friends.”
“Are you going to get to it, or are you going to make it sound even worse for her?” I recognized Sanders’s voice and was wondering why they went back to having him talk.
“Cassidy was beat by her mom and Jeff every day from when she was seven until I took her with me to Texas a month before she turned eighteen. And before you go judging me, because, swear to you, the guy I told hasn’t let it go for the two years since I told him, I wanted to tell someone, I wanted to get her away from them. But she said she’d run away before they put her in foster care, and I couldn’t take care of her if that happened.”
I pressed my fist to my mouth to quiet my heavy breathing. Damn it, Tyler! This isn’t something you just share. It happened to me, and I’d only told him; he’d told three people now!
“So like she said, and yes, I was listening to your conversation, she’s not sad to see them go, but swear to God that girl couldn’t kill a spider. She wasn’t lying about not being violent; she hates violence. I already know you saw her face, and before you go looking at me again like you think I did it, I’ll tell you what happened. We were at a party and a fight broke out between a bunch of guys; Cassi wasn’t even in the room when it started but must have heard it and was so upset by seeing it she tried to stop it and ended up getting hit instead.”
My breath came out ragged as he finished; why hadn’t he mentioned that it had been because of Gage? Tyler wanted us apart so much, you’d think he’d have just been dying to make it seem worse than it was and say I was in an abusive relationship.
“And as for her mom and Jeff? She hasn’t talked to them, and doesn’t talk about them. That girl in there has had a shit life, and that shit life was just thrown back at her after two years of trying to forget about it. I get you’re detectives and this is what you do, but taking care of her is what I do. So if you want to interrogate someone, interrogate me. Not her. Please, not her.” He had started off with an authoritative voice I’d expected the detectives to put an end to immediately, but when he finished, Tyler’s voice was so tortured, it nearly broke my heart.
“Are you done, son?” Sanders asked after another moment.
“Yeah.”
“Then sit down and tell me, do you or your parents know of anyone who would want to harm Mr. Jeff Kross and his wife?”
“No, like Cassi, I haven’t seen or spoken to them . . .”
His voice trailed away to nothing as I went to the living room to lie down on the couch. I should have joined his parents, but at this point, I was so drained I didn’t think I could even attempt to hold another conversation. I knew they were itching to find out what happened to my eye, but it would have to wait.
IN THE LAST week, I’d had two more visits from Detectives Sanders and Green within two days of the first: the first to confirm the fire was indeed an accident caused by a candle near the bar—that visit included an apology for the pseudo-interrogation—the second to let me know they wouldn’t be bothering me anymore. After examining dental records, the bodies found in the house were of one Jeff Kross and one Karen Jameson Kross. Both times I tried not to study Green, but each time I saw him I’d swear I knew him. We’d had a graveside funeral on Friday and Tyler had gone back to Texas on Sunday, three days ago, since he had finals that week. I still hadn’t spoken to Gage, but I couldn’t force myself to do it yet.
I had too much going through my mind still: my life with Mom and Jeff, the fierce look in Gage’s eye when he turned around to swing again, and most of all the way he looked like he was dying inside every time he looked at me after he’d hit me. Then I’d left him with a note that could have meant any number of things, and I’m sure that had only made it worse. I knew I couldn’t have our first conversation over the phone; it needed to be in person. I just wasn’t ready for that yet. If I was honest with myself, I was terrified that what had happened last Friday night would change how we were permanently. I didn’t want him to treat me any differently, and I was afraid he’d treat me like I was breakable now.
“Miss Jameson? You can go back now.”
Glancing up at the receptionist of my mom’s attorney, I gave her a small smile and walked down the hall to the open door.
A lanky older gentleman stood up and grasped my hand from across his large desk. “Miss Jameson, thank you so much for coming in. I’m sorry that we’re meeting under these circumstances though.”
I simply nodded and offered him the same smile I’d just given his pixie of a receptionist.
“Well, this will be fairly quick, since you’re the only living person mentioned in your mother’s will.”
That surprised me, but I didn’t let it show. I figured she’d leave me out of it and give everything to Jeff, or hell, even her liquor. She was a bitch like that; it wouldn’t have shocked me.
“Though he is not here, we will begin with the only other person mentioned: ‘To Mr. Jeff Kross, I leave my car, home, and everything inside them. To Miss Cassidy Jameson, I leave the money in the following accounts.’ ” Mr. Buckner produced a few pieces of paper stating the bank accounts, not that they meant anything; they were just routing and account numbers. “And she also left this letter for you. Your mother came in about six months ago, Miss Jameson, to change her will and leave that letter. I was surprised, seeing as she hadn’t changed her will even after your father passed, but I don’t think she was expecting you to have to be sitting on the other side of my desk so soon. Your mother and father were good people, Miss Jameson; I’m very sorry for the losses you’ve had over the years.”
I took the lumpy envelope from him. “Me too,” I whispered, unable to force anything louder. I was still in shock that Mom had waited that long to change her will, and then died so suddenly after.
“If you’ll give me just a few minutes, we’ll get everything squared away here so you won’t have to go in to the bank to change everything over, and then we’ll be done. I’ve already called and they’re expecting my call again.”
“Thank you, Mr. Buckner.”
After another twenty minutes and both of us speaking with a manager at the bank, he handed me a few pieces of paper that were faxed over from the bank, giving me the number of the new savings account I’d had everything put into and pages about how best to handle money. I folded them all up and put them in my purse along with the letter, shook Mr. Buckner’s hand, and went to Tyler’s mom’s car, which she was letting me borrow. I drove until I found my favorite coffee shop and pulled into the parking lot. Without shutting off the car, I reached into my purse, opened the folded-up papers, and finally looked at the amount that had been deposited into the savings account. My mouth dropped open and a loud gasp filled the car. What. The. Hell?
I’d been fully expecting my mom to not have me in the will at all. When Mr. Buckner said I was getting her money, I thought it was a joke and she wouldn’t actually have any. No way did I expect her to have this much, or to leave it to me! Mouth still wide open, I grabbed the letter and broke the seal, and my breath caught at what I saw. My father’s ring, the one I’d clung to when he died and my mom had taken from me. I pulled it out of the envelope like it might break and just stared at it as memories of my dad came rushing back and tears instantly blurred my vision. I took deep breaths, slid the ring onto my thumb, and grabbed the letter. Unfolding it carefully, I took one last deep breath and looked down.
My dear Cassidy Ann—
Where do I even begin? There aren’t words to begin to describe how sorry I am for ruining your life. Nor are there words to tell you how much I hate myself for what I’ve done to you, as well as let Jeff do to you. You are so precious, and I don’t know how I ever let myself get so lost that I could forget that. Your father was my world. When he died, I didn’t know how to go on, so I didn’t. I was so weak, and neglected you . . . you were only a child! What’s worse is I can’t even remember you during that time, which means I can’t remember what you had to do to keep yourself alive during those times. I was being selfish and focusing on my hurt, trying to find any way to make it go away. My friends helped keep me intoxicated since they didn’t know I was already in that state at home, so I paid attention to them . . . but you? Where was I when you needed me? I don’t even know where you were. What kind of mother doesn’t know where her little girl is when she needs her the most? All I do remember is looking at you at the funeral and thinking about all the time your father spent with you; he was such an amazing dad, and I just knew I would never be able to look at you again without seeing him. And he was gone. So I did the only logical thing that came to mind at the time: I stopped seeing you.
