Текст книги "From Ashes"

Автор книги: Molly McAdams

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Текущая страница: 22 (всего у книги 23 страниц)

I gasped softly as I watched the nightmare play out over his face again.

“When we were in the ambulance, they kept saying ‘anaphylactic shock,’ and a part of me knew that couldn’t be it since you hadn’t seen a scorpion before then, but with how you’d been over those last twenty or thirty minutes, baby, I thought I was going to lose you if they didn’t do something soon.”

Fat tears were falling from Gage’s eyes, and I let my fingers brush them away from one cheek before curling them around his neck.

“You weren’t going into anaphylactic shock, you just had a really bad allergic reaction. Your doctor said with already being weak and having a shot immune system from having the flu, it just made your allergic reaction that much worse for you and your body shut down to protect itself from the reaction.”

“I don’t remember anything after you put me back in bed after getting stung.”

Gage nodded and planted his forehead into the crook of my neck, inhaling deeply. “You haven’t woken up long enough to say anything; I figured you wouldn’t.”

“How long ago did this happen?”

He looked over at the clock for a few seconds before turning his face back toward my neck. “Almost seventeen hours ago.”

Oh my God. I tried to swallow but my throat was really dry, and just as I was about to say I needed a drink, I felt Gage’s body shudder. “Hey, it’s okay, I’m okay.”

“You weren’t, Cassidy. You weren’t. I’ve—I’ve never been more scared in my life.” He admitted softly, “Your chest wasn’t moving; you don’t know what that was like. And half the time I thought I was making myself believe I was feeling a heartbeat.” As he spoke, one of his hands came back up to my throat, then trailed down to my chest and ended at my wrist. All of it was soft as a feather, and very practiced, and now made sense. “I’ve thought you left me before . . . but not like this, never like this. I thought you were—” He choked out a shaky breath and didn’t speak again.

“I’m never leaving you again, I told you.” I tried to laugh, but it sounded wrong. I couldn’t imagine what he’d gone through, but I knew it would kill me to see him the same way. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“Sorry? Cass, I almost lost you! Why the hell are you sorry? You had nothing to do with it, and I—I just laughed about the damn thing. I had no idea; none of us have ever had reactions to a sting. God, Cass, I didn’t know. All of this is my fault.”

“Gage—” I tried to pull his head back so I could look at him, but he just kept talking softly, almost as if to himself.

“I never take care of you. With the pneumonia, I should have called an ambulance as soon as I opened my door and found you like that. Last night I should have been there when you woke up the first time so you wouldn’t have gotten stung, and I shouldn’t have fallen back asleep after you did. I should have been watching you.”

“Stop, please—”

“I’ve hated Tyler for almost letting you die, but, Cassidy, I could’ve killed you by being careless.”

“Gage, stop!” I finally moved his head back and stared into his dark green eyes, tears still falling steadily from them. “None of what has ever happened is on you; all you’ve ever done is take care of me. Even when you hardly knew me, Gage, that’s all you’ve done. When I would sleep on the couch, you’d move me to your bed, and you didn’t even know me then. You woke up early to drive me to work every morning so I wouldn’t have to walk. I would have gotten pneumonia either way, and that’s not on you or Tyler, it’s on me. I’m the one who walked to your place, but you? You threw me in a shower and made sure I warmed up, bought a new thermometer just for me, and took me to the hospital the next day.”

He started shaking his head, so I kept talking before he could.

“And tonight—last night, is not your fault. How you’re even able to twist it around so that it is is just beyond me. But obviously it was some freak accident, and from what you’re saying, I’m alive because of you.”

“Cassidy, you don’t know what you mean to me. I can’t—I can’t lose you.” He tried to clench his jaw shut, but his lips and jaw were still quivering. “I can’t.”

“I know,” I whispered softly, and kissed his trembling lips. “Losing you would kill me too.”

Gage exhaled deeply and laid his head on my chest, his fingertips on my throat, not saying anything else. I scooted over and after a minute he awkwardly climbed onto the hospital bed with me; his fingertips went right back to my throat, but this time his head rested on the mattress next to mine and we just stared at each other. His hand wasn’t uncomfortable—in fact I barely felt it—but for some reason having it there was a new lifeline for Gage, and he was clinging to it. Hard.

Chapter Twenty

C ASSIDY

IT’D BEEN ALMOST a month since the scorpion sting, and thank God things were back to normal—well, mostly. I’d had to spend the rest of that weekend in the hospital, and when I’d gone back to the ranch, Gage had two different exterminators that specialize in scorpions come out to give bids. He didn’t care about the money; he cared about which one he thought “wasn’t full of shit.” Apparently scorpions were hard to get rid of, but he and the exterminator were confident they’d done all they could. After I was informed how wrong I’d been about scorpions in Texas, I realized they were going overboard, but I let him do what he needed, same as with his pulse checks.

I don’t know if Gage knew he was still doing it, if it was just second nature now, or if he thought I didn’t realize what he was doing, but every time he came up to me, his fingers ended up on my throat or wrists somehow. He’d actually gotten really good at it, to the point where if I didn’t know what he was doing, I would think he was holding me sweetly. When he would pull me toward him, it was almost always done by my wrist; sometimes when he kissed me he would pin my arms behind my back and hold my hands there, but his index finger would always be on a pulse point. Others, he would go to cup my cheeks, but would cup behind my neck instead, which I loved, and I loved the way he trailed his thumb down my throat even more, but like I said, I knew what he was doing.

And although it’d been a month, and I thought he should be able to see me without having to reassure himself that I was breathing, I wasn’t about to say a word to him. After all, I wasn’t the one who’d seen his chest not moving. I wasn’t the one who’d had to search for his pulse.

We were starting to get ready for Thanksgiving, which was a little over a week away, and I was kind of excited and nervous about it. I’d made parts of Thanksgiving for the guys the last two years, but I would be cooking with Tessa and Amanda this year, and from what I’d been told, this meal was their specialty. I’d asked why we were doing a Thanksgiving lunch instead of a Thanksgiving dinner, and Gage had just shrugged while saying, “It’s Texas,” like that should be the only explanation I needed. I’d just raised an eyebrow at him and waited until he sighed and gave his version of an explanation.

“Everyone spends the day with their family, but it’s the UT–A & M game, darlin’, that takes up the night for us.”

My response when I saw his mom and dad look at me like I should understand this by now? “Ah.”

If cooking a Thanksgiving meal with Tessa wasn’t enough to be nervous about, it didn’t help that I’d been having some issues the last week that had my nerves skyrocketing. I called my doctor, and he’d said especially after the shock of the sting and the allergic reaction, I shouldn’t worry about it. But I was worried about it; in fact it was all I was thinking about. So I told Gage I had to run in to town to grab some things for his mom and would be back before dinner—all true, just not the whole truth. He was already dealing with enough as it was; I didn’t need to worry him with how I’d been feeling off . . . and other random things.

With another look at the doctor’s office door, then the clock on the dashboard, I grabbed my purse and hopped out of my SUV. It was time to find out exactly what this scorpion sting had done to me.

AN HOUR LATER I was back in my car and just staring at nothing. I tried figuring out how to tell Gage, but I could barely convince myself that it was happening, so how could I tell him? I didn’t even know how I felt about it—no . . . that’s not true. I did. I knew exactly how I felt. I was terrified, and all I could see was my mom and Jeff. Memories so burned into me, I swear I could still feel Jeff slamming the large vase over my back until it shattered. Could feel my mom taking one of the larger chunks and digging it into the small of my back and making a large, bloody X. Could hear her moans as Jeff screwed her brains out after they let me up to go to my room.

I shivered and actually shook myself as I reached for my purse and the letter from Mom. After reading it three times, taking another few minutes to just clear my mind and find the beauty from their ashes all over again, I took a deep breath and pulled out my cell.

“How’s my favorite SMB?”

“Fine.” I laughed and ran a hand through my long, wavy hair. I wasn’t fine yet, but I would be. “How long did it take for my jersey to come in last time, Jake?”

“Ha! You liked it, huh? Want another one?”

“Love my SMB jersey, and I do, but I need it before Thanksgiving morning. Do you think that will be possible?”

“Oh, hell yeah, Cass. It’ll be there in a week, tops. Another one that says ‘SMB’?”

“Uh, no.” My hands were shaking and I had to put the one that wasn’t holding the phone tightly around the steering wheel.

“You gonna tell me what you want or should I surprise you?”

I laughed nervously and took a deep breath before speaking. “No, I know what I want, but, Jake, you can’t . . . let me repeat. Can’t. Tell. Anyone.” When he agreed, I told him exactly what I wanted and he stayed quiet for a whole minute when I was done.

“You’re serious, Cass?” he asked, for once completely serious.

“Yeah, I just found out, so could you do that and I’ll send you a check in the mail today?”

“All right, I’ll get it done, and I won’t tell anyone. But no way am I letting you pay me back for this, no way, baby girl.”

I smiled to myself. “Thanks, Jake.”

THE LAST WEEK and a half had been absolute torture. I’d almost told Gage about a thousand times, but thankfully I’d stopped myself every time. I’d needed this time before I told him, needed the time to get used to the idea and actually be happy about it. And I was; God, I was thrilled now. I’d hardly slept at all last night, knowing that this morning he’d finally know.

After getting his morning hug, he left to do what he always does in the mornings, and I hopped into the shower. I blew my hair dry and straightened it but held off on my makeup because I was sure this morning was bound to be an emotional one. I threw on my jeans, a pair of gray Uggs, and my new burnt-orange jersey that had arrived just two mornings ago. I stared at myself for a long time in the mirror, looked at the back of the jersey, and smiled before I headed out to the kitchen.

I started on an omelet to split for when Gage came back. Usually I’d make us one each, but we were going to be eating all day; I figured splitting this wouldn’t kill him. Just as I was sliding the omelet onto a plate, I heard the front door open and my face broke out into a wide smile.

“That’s my girl.”

I turned to look at him and saw him smiling at the jersey, then a confused look passed over his face.

“Wait, is this new?”

Holding my arms out to the sides, I couldn’t help the smile that so easily came back. “Yeah, Jake just ordered it for me last week.”

Gage’s head fell back, and he groaned. “Darlin’, I’m all for your Cowboys jersey, and now your Longhorns one . . . but another SMB jersey? It’s not that funny.”

“Well, it was that funny, but I only have one of those.” I turned so my back was facing him and took my time getting the silverware from the drawer.

“Cassidy, I love that you want to be my wife and makin’ this our home is what you wanna do. But I would never stop you if you wanted to do something, like with your photography. So even though I love that this is what you’ve chosen, I think that SMB shit is degrading.”

Okay, well apparently he wasn’t going to bite on the name I’d had put on it; I grabbed the plate and two forks and walked over to the kitchen table, rolling my eyes at him when he was watching. “Babe. It’s Jake. From anyone else it would probably be degrading, but no one takes him seriously anyway.”

He grumbled and sat down next to me, digging into the omelet and groaning his appreciation as soon as the first bite hit his tongue.

We ate mostly in silence, eating off the same plate and occasionally feeding each other bites. It was gushy, yes, but we were still newlyweds; we were allowed to be that way. When the omelet was gone, he sat back in his chair and pulled me onto his lap. His hand went to brush away some hair that had fallen forward, and his fingertips did their trusty pause over the pulse point on my throat.

“What do you need me to help you with today?” he asked softly as his eyes watched my chest rise and fall.

“Nothing, already finished all the prep work that I can do before we head over.”

Watching my chest must have stirred up another emotion in him, because his lips were now kissing my neck and his hands were undoing the knot I’d made at the bottom of the jersey so I wouldn’t have to tuck it in and I wouldn’t drown in it. As soon as the knot was loosened his hands were under my shirt and on my bare skin. I quickly got off his lap, collected the plate, and headed into the kitchen.

He frowned but followed me to the sink and took it from me to wash it. It’s not that I didn’t want him touching me, I was just too wound up with my news to think about that just yet. I leaned my hip against the counter to watch him silently. When he was done he turned and smiled. “Amanda’s gonna be pissed when she sees that jersey.”

“Safe to say she’ll be wearing an Aggie one?”

Gage nodded. “So what did Jake do for you this time anyway?”

Oh my God, finally! I bit down on my bottom lip and tried not to smile as I let him turn me around and move my hair aside to see the name Mama Carson.

His hand froze before he could sweep my hair all the way to the side, and I’d bet he just saw the Mama part. I kept silent as I waited for it to sink in. It’d been a difficult pill for me to swallow, but then again I’d grown up never wanting kids. Since starting a relationship with Gage, I’d slowly grown comfortable with the idea and actually wanted a family with him in the future. I thought we were young, way too young, but I knew someday it was what I wanted.

My period had been late, and that’s when I’d called the Carsons’ family doctor. He was the one who told me that with stressful events, especially the allergic reaction and what had happened following, it was common to be late or miss a period or two fully. But then I’d started feeling extra tired, I’d had to stop cleaning before I even started because the smell of the cleaning supplies made me want to pass out, and one morning I started crying looking at Sky . . . it was after that round of ridiculousness that I’d called an ob-gyn and made the appointment. When they’d confirmed the pregnancy at the doctor’s, all my lifelong fears of turning into my mother had come rushing back to me, and it’d taken a lot of work to remind myself I was nothing like the woman she was when liquor ran her life.

So now I still thought we were too young, but I was happy too. Beyond happy. I hadn’t been able to stop smiling since I’d gotten home that day, and now I couldn’t wait to see what Gage and his family had to say.

Gage finally draped all of my hair over my right shoulder, and his hand passed over the lettering softly before his left hand shot out and gripped the kitchen counter at the same time as he lowered himself to the floor. Or more like fell, right on his butt.

“Gage?” I spun around and squatted down to look at him. I was afraid he was about to faint, but the color in his face was tan as ever, his green eyes were bright and huge, and his mouth was slightly open. “Babe?” I whispered when he still hadn’t said anything or moved.

He didn’t say anything, but he started to get back up, so I stood and wobbled slightly when he grasped my hips. Looking down, I saw he was on his knees and just staring up at me. I smiled and felt the tears prick at my eyes just before a few fell. I ran my hand through his naturally just-got-out-of-bed hair and about melted into a puddle on the floor when his head went forward, he lifted my jersey, and he pressed his lips gently to my lower stomach. After placing two more soft kisses there, his hands left my hips and trailed gently over my abdomen before he stood up and kissed me fiercely as he lifted me into his arms, wrapped my legs around his waist, and walked us into the bedroom.

When we were both spent, I looked into his green eyes and almost didn’t want to speak. We’d just had the most emotional experience of my life, all without words, and it felt weird to use them now. But I had to hear him say it. “Does this mean you’re happy?”

His dimples took up a good portion of his cheeks. “Yeah, darlin’, I’m happy.”

“You scared me when you wouldn’t say anything for so long, and then I thought you were going to pass out on me.”

“Yeah.” He huffed a laugh. “I, uh, would’ve hit the ground a lot harder if I hadn’t grabbed the counter first. But, Cassidy, I’m so happy; I can’t tell you how happy this makes me.”

I curled into his body and placed my lips against his bare chest. “I’m glad.”

“When we last talked about it though, you hadn’t wanted a family any time soon; I didn’t even know you stopped taking your birth control.”

“Probably because I only stopped taking it about a week and a half ago when I found out I was pregnant.” I smiled against his skin when the stillness of his body gave away his even more confused state. “I guess all the medications they had me on after the sting counteracted the effects of the pill and I got pregnant anyway.”

Gage’s hand slid up and down my back, his light touch leaving goose bumps all over. “I should have thought of that.”

“We both should have, but it’s too late now and I’m not mad that we didn’t.”

He pulled my body up until he could look into my eyes. “You’re really okay with this?”

“I am.” I shrugged and smiled brightly at him. “I wasn’t at first; it really scared me. I started slipping back into my fears, but I reread the letter from my mom, and I thought about all of our conversations since I’ve been back, and the fears just started melting away. It still took a couple days, but I’m really happy now. Seriously, I can’t wait to have your baby.”

His smile was wide and absolutely breathtaking; those dimples that I knew would get the best of me someday were all I could currently look at. “God, I can’t believe we’re gonna have a baby,” he breathed, and leaned back. “And I can’t believe you told Jake of all people.”

I burst out laughing and buried my head into his neck. “He’s the only one who knows and he was sworn to secrecy. I knew it would hurt you if I wasn’t excited about the pregnancy when I told you, and I had a feeling it was going to take a few days or so for me to get there. I sat there thinking of how I wanted to tell you, and I figured I couldn’t just randomly blurt it out after knowing for some time, so I thought of the jersey.”

“It was a good idea, darlin’, I like it. And it’ll be fun with the family too.”

“Do you think they’ll be happy?” I asked, a little anxious. If I thought we were too young, I could only imagine what John and Tessa would think. It would be the same as if Amanda was pregnant.

“Oh hell yeah. Cass, they don’t say much around you because they know how you are about having kids, but when you’re not around, dear Lord, it’s all they ever talk about. Even little Emily wants to know when you’re going to have a baby so she can have someone to play with.”

“Oh, I didn’t know they were trying not to talk about it in front of me. Now I feel bad.”

Gage leaned away, placed two fingers under my chin, and lifted my head up. “Don’t. I didn’t say that so you would feel bad. They just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, sweetheart. But I promise they’ll be excited, especially when they see how happy you are.” He kissed my lips softly and without moving away asked, “When are you due?”

“July eleventh; I’m seven weeks today.”

He repeated the date and smiled. “Holy shit. We’re having a baby in July. This is unreal.”

“I know, we have the first ultrasound a week from today.” Just then my alarm went off and Gage reached over to my phone to shut it off.

“What’s that for?”

“Gotta go help your mom cook.”

Gage rolled us over so my back was to the bed and he was hovering over me; he planted a knee between my legs and I willingly opened them again. “She can wait.”

WE PULLED UP to the main house and I finished putting my hair in a high, messy bun, Gage’s request so nothing would cover the name on the jersey. I looked at all the cars and the butterflies in my stomach tripled; Amanda had been home for two days, but Ty’s Jeep and Jesse’s Camaro were there as well.

Gage stopped me before we hit the door and kissed me thoroughly. “I love you, Cassidy.”

Forcing my hands to unclench from his burnt-orange shirt, I sighed and whispered my love back to him.

As soon as we were in the house, I was pulled into a massive bear hug from Tyler and I thought Gage would have a stroke. I wanted to tell him I was only seven weeks, he wasn’t going to hurt anything, but that would ruin our plan to wait for someone to notice the name on the jersey, so I kept my mouth shut. Jesse and Isabella hugged us, and I cringed when I noticed how much thinner Isabella was, but she looked happier than ever.

“Oh, nuh-uh! Get out!” Amanda demanded, and I looked at her with wide eyes. “Both of you, and, Ty, you can go with them! No burnt orange allowed in this house.”

I laughed and looked up at Tessa’s back. “But your mom is wearing a Longhorns jersey.”

I’d thought Gage was joking when he said everyone in the family wore jerseys or college shirts during Thanksgiving, but he wasn’t. The only people in the entire house not wearing maroon or burnt orange were Emily, Isabella, and Jesse. Amanda and Nikki were wearing maroon “Twelfth Man” shirts; John was wearing a “Saw ’Em Off” gray-and-maroon shirt; Tyler was wearing a burnt-orange-and-white “Hook ’Em” shirt, same as Gage’s; and Tessa was wearing a Longhorns jersey.

Texans . . . they’re their own kind of people.

“Now, now, I’m showin’ my love for my divided house,” Tessa said, and turned around to show the front was an A & M jersey.

My jaw dropped and I pointed. “Not fair! Why is it okay for her to sew two jerseys together, two rival jerseys, might I add, but it’s not okay for me to wear Lakers and Spurs jerseys at the same time?”

Gage was the only one who understood what I was talking about, so he just laughed and kissed the top of my head. “Darlin’, that’s ’cause you were trying to bring Texas and California together. Doesn’t work that way.”

Tessa looked pointedly at the two of us and smirked. “I’d say it does.”

Gage winked and kissed me again quickly as I started walking into the kitchen, and he went over to sit with his dad, Ty, and Isabella.

It took much longer than I thought it would, but an hour later Nikki finally said, “Mama, did you let Cassidy borrow your jersey or something?”

My smile grew and my hands stilled momentarily, then I made quick work of washing and drying them as Tessa responded distractedly from the other side of the counter. “No, baby, why?”

“ ’Cause hers says ‘Mama Carson.’ ”

“No, I—” Tessa cut herself off and I heard Amanda’s gasp from right behind me, followed quickly by Tessa’s. I could hear Tyler and Jesse start razzing Gage, and I turned to face the family with the world’s biggest smile.

Tessa and Amanda both had wide eyes, hands over their mouths, and were frozen; Nikki looked like she’d just gotten it; and Emily was sitting on the counter just looking at everyone. Before I could say anything, Gage stumbled into the kitchen with Jesse and Tyler clapping him on the back and still razzing him, and John was walking Isabella in. Gage walked right up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, letting his hands rest on my stomach.

Tessa’s eyes followed his hands and tears sprang from her eyes as she let out an excited cry, but she clamped her mouth shut. “I’m not going to assume, I’m not going to assume,” she whispered, and leaned into John, who was now at her side with his arm around her shoulder.

“I really hope you’re ready to be a grandma,” I said through my smile.

The same cry came from her and she left John to pull Gage and me into a big hug. When she let us go she cupped my cheeks and kissed my forehead, before moving to do the same to Gage, and I was pulled into another hug from Amanda.

We went through another round of hugs from everyone, and at the end of the line was Ty. He pulled me into his arms and didn’t let go for a long moment. He knew what this meant for me, and as Tyler always had, he knew how to respond to the situation. I was thrilled, and he could see that in my smile and laughs as I told everyone the due date and how far along I was. But he knew deep down what this meant for me and that he needed to be my rock. I wrapped my arms tighter around his waist and face-planted into his chest when the tears started falling down my cheeks. This had nothing to do with Gage’s not being able to understand what I needed, because he did; it just had everything to do with why I’d asked Tyler to walk me down the aisle and give me away. He was the closest thing to my family I would ever have.

Still holding me tightly, he whispered close to my ear, “You’re going to be an amazing mom, Cassidy. I’m so happy for you, sweetheart.”

I nodded against his chest and brought one of my hands back to my face to wipe my tears, then down to find and link my fingers with Gage’s.

G AGE

I STRETCHED MY body out along Cassidy’s and kissed her lips softly. “Wake up, darlin’.” Her being tired had nothing to do with the massive lunch all the girls had made; her eyelids had already started shutting before we’d even sat down to eat. So I’d brought her up to my old room as soon as we were done eating, since Mama refused to let us help clean up, and Cassidy had fallen asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

She groaned and automatically rolled into me; one hand went to my stomach and her head found its way to that perfect spot in between my neck and shoulder.

Kissing her cheek, I brushed my lips across her jaw and repeated in her ear, “Time to wake up, darlin’.”

Her eyes popped open and that slow smile she only ever showed me crossed her face. “What time is it?”

“The game is starting in about thirty minutes. Everyone’s grabbing leftovers and pie for dinner.”

“Dinner?” She asked warily, “How long was my nap?”

“You call that a nap?” I teased. “Cass, you slept for over five hours. I tried to wake you up earlier after I woke up from my nap, but you were out. So I went back home, grabbed Sky and the pies you made, and I’ve been hanging with Ty since.”

“Five? Holy crap!”

“Yeah.” I laughed and let my hands trail over her neck, reveling in the deep breaths I was able to take now that I could feel her heartbeat under my fingers. “You feelin’ all right?”

“I feel fine. I’ve been sleeping a lot the last couple weeks, I guess from being pregnant, but five hours. Talk about food coma.” She pushed on Sky until she jumped off the bed, then scrambled off as well.

I followed her out, grabbed three beers, and headed back to the kitchen table, where Jesse and Tyler were, and handed them each one. Amanda sat in Jesse’s lap, and I tried not to let that bother me, but c’mon, she was my sister, there was no way in hell that wasn’t going to bother me. So I made sure my eyes never left Cassidy while she grabbed a plate of food and sliced up two of the pies—not like that was hard. She was so damn beautiful, and watching her had been all I was able to do for a year and a half, so it had become one of my favorite things to do. Especially when she was in the kitchen; she moved around the kitchen like it was a part of her, and she always had some song going on in her head, and every now and then she’d start dancing to it. I loved those times, because when she’d notice me watching her, the blush I loved so much would creep over her face and she’d shoot me one of those blinding smiles. And now? I don’t know how I hadn’t noticed something was going on this last week and a half; Cass had a new smile I’d never seen before, like she had a secret, and it hadn’t once left her face today. I only wished I’d been paying enough attention to notice it before, but I had to admit, I did like the jersey idea.

Just as I looked down at her new jersey, her body started moving to whatever song was in her head and I had to hold back a laugh. God, my wife was cute. Tyler stood up and walked into the kitchen and over to Cassidy; when he reached her, he leaned his hip against the counter and draped an arm over her shoulder. He said something too low for me to hear and she looked up at him to respond. She set down the plate of food, her body automatically sagged against him, and he curled his arm tighter around her. Tyler continued to whisper to her, and I waited for it, the jealousy, but it never came. I hadn’t felt it since Tyler came back from their trip to California in May.

I’d seen Cassidy and Tyler when they were friends, and then I’d seen them together. By the time Cassidy and I were together, she and Tyler were only ever near each other in hostile environments, so when Tyler was finally done trying to keep us apart, I’d stopped worrying so much. When I saw them together for the first time after she got back from California, I wondered how it’d taken me that long to see exactly how Cass responded to him. Like right now, with her leaning into him and his arms around her, sure, they were close, but there was nothing intimate about the way they were holding each other. Ty was her best friend, nothing more.