Текст книги "From Ashes"

Автор книги: Molly McAdams

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Текущая страница: 14 (всего у книги 23 страниц)

“You had sex with Adam?!” I whispered, horrified. How were she and Dana friends? How were Adam and Ethan friends? “Do Ethan and Dana know what happened? And where’s this Anthony guy?”

Jackie laughed harder and wiped tears from her eyes. “Yes, everyone knows what happened. Adam had actually already told Ethan about me and everything that had happened; Ethan still wanted to meet me. Dana didn’t like me at first last year when she and Adam started dating, but after she hung out with me and Ethan she got over it really quick. And Anthony decided he wanted to go into the army, so he left after his second fall semester.”

“Oh my word.”

“I know.” She took a deep breath in and out to calm her laughing. “All that is to say, people do stupid shit when they’re upset. Don’t be too hard on Gage. He’s not cheating on you, and remember, I get to hear what goes on behind enemy lines since I’m dating one of his best friends. He fell for you the moment he saw you. I didn’t have to hear that from you to know it; he told Ethan too. We were all just waiting for you guys to come together.”

“Ugh, I feel so stupid for overreacting!” I jumped off the bed, pulling her with me. “Thank you, Jackie, what would I do without you?” I hugged her quickly.

“Well, let’s just hope Gage is still here so we don’t have to go track him down.”

Just then there was a loud crash and a few guys started yelling, one of them distinctly my Gage. “Oh shit.”

G AGE

ETHAN HAD TO pull me out of the room so I wouldn’t continue to make an ass out of myself and dig myself into an even deeper hole with Cassidy. Was it too much to ask for us to have a normal night out without something happening?

I shoved him. “Get the fuck off me.”

“You need to calm down, man.”

“I am calm! I just can’t fucking lose Cassidy because of Cara!” God, in December I thought I’d die if Cassidy ever found out because I knew she would look at me differently, and I didn’t think I’d be able to handle that, but I didn’t know just how painful that death would be. I didn’t think I could handle seeing her look at me like that one more time. Like . . . exactly what she said: she was looking at me like I disgusted her, and I couldn’t blame her; I disgusted myself. But how could she for one damn second think that I would use her as a fucking game, or that I would ever treat anyone else the way I treated her? I hadn’t made it a secret since we’d been together how special she was to me and how different she was for me. But apparently she’d never believed any of that anyway.

“Fuck,” I growled, and stormed past Ethan toward the living room, stopping short when I saw Tyler and Cara with smug looks on their faces. “Are you happy now?” I asked both of them.

“Told ya, cousin, Cassi will always be mine. Now I just gotta wait. She’s done with you, and soon she’ll realize I’m all she has left. She’ll come running back to me.”

Cara’s eyes grew wide and she turned to Tyler. “What?!”

“Don’t act shocked and hurt,” Tyler said with a roll of his eyes, “you knew exactly why I brought you with me tonight. You already played your part.”

My eyebrows raised high and I almost expected Cara to slap him, but she just turned with a huff and stormed out of the apartment.

“I’m sure you can still catch her, if you think you need to go back to your days.” Tyler raised an eyebrow in my direction.

“Cassidy’s mine. You really think she’s going to come back to you after you cheated on her and treated her the way you did?”

Before Ty could respond, Grant decided to step up and put his two cents in. “Honestly, I’m surprised either of you think you’re getting another shot with her. Cassi gets done with one of y’all and moves on to the next; now that she’s got both of y’all outta the way, she’ll be looking somewhere else,” he taunted.

“You best shut up, Grant. Now,” I growled.

His smile just got wider and the challenge in his eyes was more than a little apparent. “And damn if I haven’t wanted to fuck that piece of ass since the first night Ty showed up with her. I promise not to be too rough with her. Now, if you’ll excuse me . . .” He smiled wryly at me and started walking toward Ethan and Jackie’s room, where Jackie and Cassidy still were.

“You son of a bitch!” Tyler yelled, and stalked toward Grant, but I had already plowed into him and was knocking him into the table, breaking it with the weight of both of us.

Immediately all the guys started yelling at each other and the girls scattered away from us. Adam and Ethan pulled me off Grant, yelling at me to calm down, and Tyler took my spot, slamming his fist into Grant’s face—or arm if Grant was able to block it. Jake had just started pulling Tyler away when Sean came to Grant’s defense and punched Ty in the stomach. Jake let Tyler go and went after Sean as Ty doubled over and tried to catch his breath.

“Man, is she that good of a lay?” Grant asked even as he spit blood onto the floor.

“You have a death wish, dumbass? Shut up!” Adam yelled, but I was already out of his and Ethan’s grasp and charging back toward Grant.

As soon as I landed a solid punch to Grant’s jaw someone put me in a choke hold and I tried to bring my arms back to get him off, but Grant grabbed them and sent his foot into my stomach. The next thing I knew my neck was free and I didn’t have time to catch my breath before both Grant’s feet went into my stomach again. I rolled back and scrambled to my feet, vaguely registering Adam wrestling with Reid and Ethan trying to hold Tyler back.

Grant was getting back to his feet but I swiped his legs out from under him, grabbed his shirt, and lifted him slightly off the ground to deliver another blow to the right side of his face. My arm cocked back again and someone grabbed it; I turned, but Tyler was already punching some guy I didn’t know and my arm was free again. After another hit, Grant’s eyes started fluttering and I had to struggle to keep his weight up as I was still having trouble catching my breath and was constantly getting hit from all the other fights going on around me.

C ASSIDY

JACKIE AND I stood there in shock watching as the party turned into an all-out brawl. Girls were huddled in a group near the patio door, and while a few guys were standing with them, the rest seemed to all be in the fight or trying to pull guys off each other.

I looked up and saw Tyler slam someone back onto the hardwood floor and lean back to start hitting him, only to be flipped onto his back and get hit himself. Ethan grabbed the guy and pulled him back enough for Tyler to stand back up, but he stumbled into someone else before going back to the guy Ethan was still holding. I realized Gage was the one Ty had just run into and saw him holding Grant up and punching him in the face.

Why is this happening? My body was shaking watching the guys punching, kicking, and choking each other. Different days and nights with my mom and stepdad kept flashing through my mind and all I wanted to do was scream at them to stop, but I couldn’t find my voice. My legs were weak as my worst nightmare played out before my eyes and again I tried to yell at them, but my voice still wasn’t working. I let go of Jackie’s arm and rushed up to Gage before he could hit Grant again. I couldn’t deal with seeing the man I love hitting someone else for no apparent reason.

G AGE

“YOU SAY ANYTHING like that about her again, I will end you.” I brought my arm up one last time, but Grant’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and I felt someone try to grab at my arm. Without straightening my arm or my body I flung my elbow back into the person. Before I could realize that I’d hit a face instead of a torso, I’d turned around and had my arm cocked back, ready to throw another punch, and what I saw stopped my world.

The fighting around me, the yelling, the girls on the other side of the room shrieking, my heartbeat.

Everything. Stopped.

My eyes focused on my beautiful girl on the ground, Ethan’s hands under her arms. One eye was wide with what should have been shock but instead was outright fear, and the other was covered by her hand. Her mouth was slightly open, and as she took a staggering breath in and began to cover it with her other hand, my world unfroze and I dropped to my knees in front of her and tried to reach for her, but she flinched back into Ethan.

Cassidy flinched away from me.

It felt like I’d been shot in the chest with a shotgun.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Jackie screamed at me.

“Oh God, Cassidy!” I took a short, painful breath in. “Baby, are you all right? I’m—” Another painful breath. “I’m so sorry.”

I got to my feet and followed as Ethan lifted her up and walked quickly back to the bedroom with Jackie; Ty wasn’t far behind.

“Are you kidding me? You’re always going on about me hurting her and you hit her?!”

I felt like I was going to throw up. “I had no idea it was her, I didn’t even know she was in the room. God. Cassidy, are you okay? Please say something.” Ethan had already sat her on the bed so I got closer and gently touched her arm but she jerked away.

“Don’t touch her, you asshole!” Tyler pushed me back and went toe-to-toe with me.

“Stop fighting,” Cassidy said in a soft, robotic voice. I turned and my heart broke when I saw the right side of her face was in that familiar, lifeless mask. “Tyler.”

“Yeah, sweetheart?” He squatted next to her and grabbed her hand, the smile on his face showing how happy he was that she was going back to him, like always.

“I need you to leave, I need some time—”

“Cassi, I’ve always—”

“Not anymore, not after what you did to me.” Her voice lost some of its mechanical sound and got soft as a whisper when her eyes focused on his. “You closed the window, Ty.”

I could see that was the one thing that could hurt Tyler the most. Having Cassidy say those last words, confusing as they were, killed him. He stood there wide eyed for a moment before nodding and walking out of the room. As much as I hated him, I still felt somewhat bad for him. I couldn’t imagine how much that hurt, but from the way Cass glanced up at me I thought I was about to find out.

“Ethan, Jackie, can you guys give us a minute, please?”

Fuck.

As soon as the door shut behind them, I looked up to see her looking at me. Her hand had left her face and I saw it was a deep red. I had no doubt she was going to have a massive black eye in the morning. I swallowed back bile and took two steps toward her.

“Do not touch me, Gage Carson.”

Oh God. What the hell have I done?

“Cassidy.” My voice came out rough and quiet. “I swear I didn’t know you were even in the room, darlin’. I would never hurt you.”

“A part of me knows that, Gage.”

A part of her. A part of her. What the hell?!

“But I can’t—I don’t—you . . . you . . .” Her mask slipped and her head fell into her hands; a sob instantly tore through her body.

Fuck this. I took the last two steps toward her and sank to the bed, pulling her into my arms and onto my lap. Her body jerked like I’d shocked her, but I kept my hold tight and didn’t let go. No way was I letting go.

“Cassidy, I love you so much.” My voice came out tight and I kissed the top of her head. “God, baby, I’m so sorry.”

C ASSIDY

THIS WAS THE first time in many years that I’d cried after getting hit. But then again, this one was completely different from all the rest. This one was intended for someone else and was an act of self-defense; I knew that. Really, I did. But this one? This one was by far the worst hit I’d ever taken.

Walking out of the bedroom into the short hall had been like falling into a hellish nightmare. I hated any type of physical fighting. Hated it with every ounce of my being. And walking out to at least ten guys beating the crap out of each other had brought back flashbacks I’d worked so hard at erasing from my mind. Seeing Gage in the middle of it had taken it from hellish nightmare straight to hell. That was my personal hell, seeing Gage beating the crap out of Grant. I still didn’t know what started the fighting, or who started it, but that didn’t matter. For me, there is only one reason to fight someone, and it’s if they’re trying to take your life or the life of someone you love. But seeing as all those guys were close, I seriously doubted that was the case.

I shouldn’t have rushed in there, I should have yelled at Gage to stop. I’d been trying to yell, but I couldn’t make anything come out, and as for rushing in there . . . it was stupid, but I just wanted the fighting stopped. Instead, I’d taken an elbow to my eye. Considering what I’ve endured, it wasn’t that bad at all. I’d been so shocked by the way my head had snapped back so quickly, it took me a second to realize why I was falling backward, until I landed smack on my butt at the same time Ethan’s hands shot out to catch me. The pain in my eye and head finally registered as Gage turned around with a murderous glare in his eyes, his right arm cocked back, ready to strike again. And that was all I could see and feel anymore, even now.

Pain rushing through my head. Gage’s face twisted with rage and his fist aimed at me, ready to deliver another blow.

His arms tightened around me as he kissed the top of my head again. I brought my shaky hands up to his chest and pushed but he didn’t budge. I couldn’t be here in his arms, not when all I could see was that horrible image. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to get that out of my mind. It was evident my words hurt him, but I didn’t want to lie to him. A part of me did know that Gage would never hurt me. Before tonight all of me had known that, and although I knew he didn’t do it on purpose and it was my fault, my past wasn’t letting me comprehend that.

“Darlin’, I’m so, so—” His voice gave out on the last word and his forehead dropped into the crook of my neck.

I put pressure against his chest again and I felt him shake his head.

“Please don’t. Stop trying to push me away, Cassidy.” Gage sounded so pained, my breath caught and my hands stopped pushing, and I started clenching his shirt in my fists. “I love you.” He brought a hand up to my cheek and leaned his head in, pressing his full lips, soft as a feather, to my injured eye.

I tried to back away, but his arm tight around my waist kept me in place.

“I’m not them,” he said after he silently held me for a few more minutes. “I’ll never be them, darlin’. I saw it—” Gage’s voice hitched and he had to clear his throat. “I saw the fear in your eyes, Cass. I can’t imagine what you’re thinking right now, but if it were me, all I would be thinking about is them . . . what they did to you, and what I—what I just did. Damn it, I’m so sorry.” His arm around my waist tightened momentarily and his head went back to my neck.

With his forehead pressed into my throat, I could feel his hot breath against my chest, and then something light and wet was there. My body stilled and I focused completely on Gage. My arms had subconsciously wound themselves around his broad shoulders at some point and I could feel the tension and slight shudders in the muscles of his back. Before I could force myself to relax and run my hand along his back to soothe the rigid way he was holding himself, I felt that light wetness on my chest again, twice. I unlocked my body and wound my hands through his hair to bring his head away from my neck, glancing down at my chest for barely a moment before looking into Gage’s tortured, wet eyes.

Gage was crying.

Oh. My. God.

I’d seen him furious, I’d seen him bursting with joy, I’d seen him crushed, and I’d seen the love flowing freely from him as he looked at me. But I’d never once seen Gage Carson cry.

“Please, let me take you home and take care of you.” His voice was even deeper and huskier than usual.

If not for the emotional situation, I’m positive it would have sent a shot of desire straight through me. As it was, my body was now covered in goose bumps, and all I could do was nod my head.

HOURS LATER, I lay awake staring at the ceiling fan going slowly around and around in the living room. Gage and I hadn’t spoken a word to each other since he asked to take me home. When we’d gotten back to the town house, he’d gone straight to the bathroom to grab some Advil, then joined me in the kitchen. After I took a few and pressed the ice pack Gage made me to my face, he’d taken my hand and led me to the bedroom. And for the first time since we became us, I’d gotten ready for bed alone. He’d grabbed the mesh shorts he liked to sleep in during the hot months and walked into the bathroom to take a shower, shutting the door behind him and only opening it when he was coming back out to get in bed.

Before I could let myself get even more upset over this, I’d forced myself into the bathroom, gotten ready for bed, and walked into the bedroom, fully prepared to leave it and go to the other one. But Gage was sitting up in bed staring at me with that odd expression again, and when he noticed my body angled toward the door, he crawled off the bed, grabbed my hand, and pulled me back onto it with him, curling my small frame into his large one. With a few soft kisses to my neck and shoulder, he slowly slipped into sleep, and after a couple hours of not even being able to think of going to sleep, I quietly snuck out of bed and into the living room. I hadn’t moved since.

My phone vibrated and I frowned as I glanced down at it. It was almost three in the morning; who on earth was texting me this early? When I saw Tyler’s name, I almost didn’t read it, but with nothing else to do, and seeing as it was only a text, I opened it anyway.

TYLER

Cassi, are you up?! Has your mom called???

Mom? Why would she be calling me? I haven’t talked to her in . . . in . . . hell, I can’t even remember. Was it my birthday right after I moved here?

Um . . . no? Why?

TYLER

Can I call?

I skipped a step and called him instead; he answered on the first ring.

“She and Jeff haven’t called you?” was his greeting.

“No,” I said softly, and walked into the guest room to further prevent waking Gage. “What’s going on, Ty? I know we haven’t talked in months, but you know I don’t talk to them. Like, ever.”

“Cassi, sweetheart, my dad just called . . . their house caught fire. So bad it spread to the houses on each side.”

“Oh God! Ty, did it get to your parents’ house too?” There was only one house between mine and Ty’s; I prayed it didn’t get that far.

“No, no. The firefighters got it contained before it could. It didn’t do too much damage to the houses on either side, but, Cassi, your house is gone.”

A gasp escaped my throat, but for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why . . . other than shock that a fire could spread so quickly that a house that size would just be gone. Then again, there was a hell of a lot of liquor in that house.

“Are you okay, sweetheart? Dad said they tried calling your mom but she . . .”

“Ty,” I said when he didn’t continue, “what aren’t you telling me?”

“Her car was still there.” I could hear him shutting a door and heard the sound of jingling keys. “I just packed a bag, I’m on my way to come get you. Can you pack for me real quick, Cass?”

“Wait, pack? Why?”

“Cassi, trust me, I hated your mom and Jeff just as much as you, but your house was just burned to the ground, and as far as anyone knows, they were both in there. For multiple reasons, the main being you’re their only family, you need to be there.”

“Oh, right.” My voice sounded soft but was strangely calm. “I’ll start packing right away. Just call when you’re outside. I don’t want to wake Gage.”

“You—what?” He sounded completely baffled, but I didn’t have time to get into it right now.

“Just call me, Ty, I gotta pack.”

After ending the call, I flew into action, thanking God we’d kept all my clothes in the spare bedroom. I don’t know why I never moved them into Gage’s room; it was just something that never came up. Once my bag was stuffed, I tiptoed back into Gage’s room and into the bathroom, grabbing all the toiletries I would need for a while. Ty called seconds after I’d zipped my bag shut, and within another two minutes, I was in his Jeep.

“Dad got us a flight that’s leaving in a few hours,” he said quietly as he turned onto another street. “You okay, Cassi?”

“I’m fine, I feel—” I cut myself off, not wanting him to know what I’d been thinking since he told me about the fire, but then his hand curled around mine and I couldn’t hold it back. “I feel guilty. Because I should be upset, right? But I’m not, and I don’t know why, but, Ty, I’m . . . I’m . . . I feel—like it’s justice. I feel like I’m getting some sort of sick revenge, and that house, God, that house is gone, Ty. There are so many bad memories there.”

“I know.” His hand squeezed mine as he drove us toward the airport. “Don’t feel guilty, Cassi, I know she’s your mother, but she’s not your mom. She hasn’t done anything in over a dozen years to deserve your love or your sympathy.”

“I just feel like I should be upset by this somehow, but I can’t find it in me. Not right now anyway.”

Tyler nodded like he understood, and his voice dropped lower. “How’s your eye?”

“It’s fine. Really, it didn’t hurt much at all, it was just the shock of it happening, and seeing Gage like that was ju—” I stopped quickly.

“And why didn’t you want him to wake up? You didn’t want to tell him you’re leaving?” When I didn’t respond he nodded again and stayed quiet for a few easy minutes before adding quietly, “I know I’ve fucked up bad, sweetheart, but I have never closed that window. Since we were seven, that window has been open, and it will always be open. No matter what.”

My heart clenched. “Not now, but sometime during this trip we need to talk about what went wrong with us. But I’ll always love you, Ty.”

“And I’ll always love you.”