Текст книги "In Your Heart "

Автор книги: Micalea Smeltzer

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Текущая страница: 4 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

“GET UP.” Ezra demanded, turning on the ceiling light in the guestroom.

I sat up in bed, the blankets pooling at my waist. “What the hell?” I blinked sleep from my eyes and looked at him dazedly.

“Get up,” he repeated.

“What are you wearing?” My eyes widened at the sight of him. He had on a pair of khaki shorts, a white sleeveless shirt, and…was that a fisherman’s hat on his head? One of those with the little dangly things? Oh my God, it was!

“We’re going fishing,” he stated, which explained the hat, “so get your ass out of bed, get changed, and meet me downstairs. You have ten minutes.”

He slipped out of my room and closed the door.

I would’ve thought the whole thing was a strange dream if it wasn’t for the fact that the light still blinded me.

I glanced at the clock on the bed and gasped. “It’s six o’ clock!” I screamed. “I’m going back to bed.” I lay back down and tossed the blankets over my head.

The door creaked open and his shoes slapped against the hardwood.

The covers were yanked unceremoniously from my body.

I gasped, trying to grab the sheets from his hands.

“No,” he demanded. “We’re going fishing.”

“It’s six o’ clock,” I repeated, a whining tone to my voice, “on a Sunday. The day of rest.” I made a grab for the covers once more, but he yanked them completely off the bed and threw them on the floor. “Ezra!” I yelled.

He ignored my outburst and headed out the door once more. “You’re down to eight minutes now. Tick, tock.”

I hated him.

No, I didn’t.

But seriously?! Six o’ clock on a Sunday?

He better have at least made breakfast or I might turn into a raging beast.

I forced my tired body out of bed and changed into a pair of jean shorts, a tank top, and sneakers. I grabbed my sunglasses from my purse and stuck them on top of my head.

When I reached the stairs Ezra was starting up them. “Coming to get me?” I asked, a brow rising in interest.

He grinned and nodded. “Yep. I thought you were flaking.”

“Did you think I might try to make a break for it and climb out the window?”

He shook his head as I joined him downstairs. “I wouldn’t put anything past you,” he confessed. “I made biscuits and gravy if you want any.”

“Is there anything you can’t cook?” I asked him, heading over to the coffee maker.

Oh sweet sustenance.

He chuckled, rubbing his stubbled jaw. “Not really.”

“You’re going to make some girl very happy one day,” I told him, standing on my tiptoes to grab a coffee cup from the top cabinet.

He grunted in response to my comment and came up behind me to grab one of the mugs for me so I didn’t topple them over.

“Thanks.” I took the cup from his hands and filled it with the steaming black liquid before I added a heart attack inducing amount of sugar. “What ever happened to you and that actress?”

A few months before I stopped speaking to Ezra he’d gone on a few dates with an up and coming actress. She’d been gorgeous and exactly the kind of girl you’d expect a rock star to date.

I’d asked him before why things ended and he never wanted to tell me.

Today, he shrugged and leaned his backside against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed over his chest. “She was too vain. I want someone with a little more substance. Someone who’s…” He paused, staring off as he searched for the right word. “Real,” he finally settled on. “I want someone I can picture myself growing old with and who doesn’t throw a temper tantrum at the sight of a wrinkle.”

I nearly choked on my coffee. “She did that?”

He nodded reaching up to further secure the hat on his head.

“Is that why you haven’t dated since then?” I asked.

He shrugged. “No, I just haven’t found anyone worth my time.”

I fixed myself a plate of biscuits and gravy, taking a seat on one of the barstools.

Ezra pulled out the one beside me and sat down as well.

“So,” I started, shoveling a fork full of food into my mouth, “why do you want to go fishing?”

“The better question is why wouldn’t I want to go fishing.” He smiled boyishly, fiddling with the edge of the hat. He propped his elbows on the countertop and tilted his head in my direction. “I thought it would be fun. We haven’t hung out in a long time.”

I raised a brow, fighting a smile. “Admit it, you only want to see me scream and run away from a worm.”

He tossed his head back and his laughter echoed around the kitchen. “You caught me.” He reached into his back pocket. “Here,” he extended a baseball cap in my direction, “you’ll need this.”

I took it and removed my sunglasses from the top of my head so that I could put it on. Pouting my lips I turned to him. “How do I look?”

“Beautiful.” He answered without a second of thought. He promptly cleared his throat and looked away. He jumped up from his seat like he’d been burned. “I’ll be outside.”

He hurried away and I watched him leave, wondering what I’d done.

I didn’t dwell on it for long.

I finished my breakfast and cup of coffee, washing both the plate and mug before joining him outside.

I saw him standing on the small dock that led into the lake. His hands were on his hips and he had his head turned towards the sky. When he heard me approach he turned and smiled. The sun glowed behind him, making him look otherworldly.

I stopped in front of him, fixing my sunglasses onto my face.

“I wasn’t joking about the worms. I will scream like a five year old girl if you make me touch one.”

His lips twitched as he fought not to laugh. “Fine,” he agreed, “I’ll do your dirty work.”

I grinned. “Does this mean if I decide to kill Braden you’ll help me hide his body?”

This time he couldn’t contain his laughter. “That’s what best friends are for, right?” He reached for a fishing pole. Glancing at me over his shoulder, he whispered, “I’ll even be your alibi.”

“How kind of you.”

Sobering, I sat down on the edge of the dock, kicking my legs back and forth over the open air. The dark lake water glimmered with the reflection of the sun and nearby trees. Above us birds chirped happily.

I closed my eyes, letting the sun warm my face. A small smile lifted my lips.

It might’ve been too early to be up on a weekend, but this was actually nice.

Ezra handed me a fishing pole and sat down beside me with his own.

He instructed me on what to do and soon the hook, or whatever it was called, was bobbing on the surface of the water.

We sat in silence for a while, enjoying the peaceful setting.

I was the first to break the quiet minutes later.

“I’m sorry I missed your birthday.” My throat closed up. I’d spent his last few birthdays with him, well not just me, but all of us—Emma, Maddox, Mathias, and Hayes. “I wanted to call you,” I confessed, looking straight ahead at the water.

He swallowed audibly. “Why didn’t you?”

“I was afraid if I did I wouldn’t be able to stop at a phone call. I’ve missed you.”

I’d missed him more than I’d been willing to admit to even myself. The last few years we’d been so impossibly close—and anybody that said that guys and girls couldn’t be friends were liars, because in a way I was closer to Ezra than I was Emma. Girls were always quick to judge, even I was guilty of that, but guys were different.

“I can’t believe I’m twenty-four,” he whispered.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

He shrugged. “I feel like I haven’t accomplished much.”

I snorted. “You have a Grammy, Ezra,” I said, referring to their recent win, “I’d say that’s pretty accomplished.”

He turned to me, his dark eyes shielded by the flap of the hat he wore. “I don’t mean with my career, I just mean with my life in general. I’ve traveled to all these places and had so many amazing opportunities, but I feel like I haven’t ever really lived.”

I mulled over his words, seeing how that would be true. The last few years of his life had become so consumed with music, performing, and traveling, that he hadn’t really had a chance to be his own person. He wasn’t just Ezra Collins. He was Ezra the bassist for Willow Creek.

I rested my head on his shoulder. “We need to change that.”

He chuckled. “How?”

“I don’t know,” I answered truthfully. “I guess by finding what makes you happy.”

“Music does make me happy,” he replied. “It’s more that…it feels like something is missing from my life.”

I lifted my head. “We’ll have to keep searching until we find what that is.”

He smiled over at me. “Even if it takes a long time?”

“You know me,” I bumped his shoulder with mine, “stubborn to a fault. I won’t give up until we find it.”

He shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. “That’s one of the things I like most about you.”

I frowned, ducking my head. “Even when it made me stay with a guy that wasn’t worth my time?”

His thumb and forefinger grasped my chin, lifting my head so I was forced to look at him. “I don’t believe it was stubbornness that made you stay with him.”

“What was it then?” I asked, truly curious.

He stared down at me for a moment, his lips twisting. “You’re one of the kindest people I know. You love with all your heart and you’re extremely passionate. You choose to see the good in people even when you shouldn’t. I think that’s why you stayed with him.” He nodded at his own words, squinting against the sun.

I swallowed thickly, my chest feeling tight. “You’re too nice to me.”

He shook his head. “I’m being honest.”

Suddenly I felt a tug on the line and let out a small cry. “I think I caught something!”

“Reel it in,” Ezra commanded, gesturing with his hand.

“Oh, right.”

I began to do as he said, fighting against the pressure on the fishing line. He gave me a few pieces of advice, but mostly left me alone.

With a groan I pulled and the fish came out of the water, dangling from the end of the line.

I glared at the tiny thing. It couldn’t have been bigger than five inches.

I turned to Ezra, my mouth turned down in a grimace. “Well, that was anticlimactic.”

He looked from the fish to me and we both burst into laughter.

All the seriousness from our previous conversation drifted away.

“Hold it steady,” he commanded. He’d already reeled his empty line in and set his fishing pole on the dock.

I tightened my hold on the pole and he got the wiggling fish free. He clasped it between his hands. “Do you want to put it back in?”

“I’m not touching that thing!” I cried, scuttling backwards like he might toss it in my lap any second.

He shook his head, laughing under his breath at my antics. He bent forward, lowering his hands into the water. He let go and the little fish swam away.

He grabbed the pole from my hands and fixed more bait onto the end before handing it back to me.

I settled myself beside him once more and we both cast our lines.

“This is pretty nice,” I admitted.

He chuckled. “Does this mean you won’t kill me for waking you up early?”

I smiled, adjusting the brim of the baseball cap I wore. “The day is young.”

“How’s your hand?” He asked me suddenly, steering the conversation in a different direction.

“A little sore,” I admitted, “but it’s worth it.”

He smiled and little wrinkles creased the corners of his eyes. “I’ll never get the image of you punching him out of my head. It was awesome.”

“Even better than when you punched him?” I questioned with a laugh.

He nodded his head eagerly. “Way better. The look on his face was priceless. He didn’t see that coming.”

“Why did he cheat on me?” I asked, looking up at Ezra. “You’re a guy, so tell me, what’s so repulsive about me that he had to seek it elsewhere?”

Ezra reared back, surprised by my random question. “There’s nothing repulsive about you.” He mimicked my tone. “Some guys can’t be satisfied with anybody because they’re not happy with who they are.”

“I feel like I must have done something wrong.”

He looked at me like I was crazy. “Sadie, the only thing you did wrong was loving someone that wasn’t good enough for you.”

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I feel like I should feel more hurt, devastated even, but really I’m just confused.” Panic snaked its way through my veins and I looked at him with widened eyes. “I didn’t love him the way I should have. What if I don’t know how to love someone in that way?”

“You do,” he assured me, looking out at the shimmering water, “but you haven’t found him yet.”

I looked up at the sky and the birds flying above us. “I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. I spent two years with a guy that stripped me of my identity. I feel like all I have of myself is my store and the rest I’m left questioning. I tried so hard to please him, to make him happy, and in the end I made myself miserable. I was so desperate for it to work out that I overlooked how toxic our relationship was. How stupid is that?”

“You’re human,” he replied. “We have this inane desire to belong to something that is greater than we are on our own. That desire is so strong that we can fool ourselves into believing things that aren’t true.”

“So, I’m not crazy?” I cracked a smile.

“Definitely not crazy.”

His smile was comforting and I reminded myself for the hundredth time that everything would be okay.

I rested my head on his shoulder and then his head rested on top of mine.

A smile touched my lips.

I’d missed this—having someone that understood me completely, even when I didn’t know myself.

I LOCKED THE door leading into my shop, switched the sign to CLOSED, and shut the blinds.

I was exhausted, and certain that this had been the longest week of my life. It had seemed unending as I dealt with phone calls from family and endless Facebook notifications from people wanting to know why Braden and I broke up so soon before our wedding. The gestures would have been nice, if I hadn’t believed that most of them were only asking because they were nosy and didn’t really care that I’d been hurt. I told them all that we decided mutually that we weren’t meant to be. It seemed unfair to let the scumbag off the hook so easily, but I didn’t need everybody knowing all of my business and talking behind my back.

I straightened the clothes and shoes, making sure everything was in order for the next business day.

I closed out the register and turned off the lights.

I headed into my office and sat down in the chair behind my desk, letting out a hefty sigh. I glanced at all of the papers on my desk, the numbers and information blurring together. I’d planned to stay a little while longer, but I was beginning to think that wasn’t the smartest idea. I’d probably end up messing something up and having to start my paperwork over again tomorrow.

I decided to leave it until tomorrow and stood, grabbing my purse.

I reached for my car keys and flicked off the light on my desk.

I’d only taken one step when I heard someone knock on the front door of the store.

Oh, shit.

I froze where I stood, holding my breath.

The knock sounded again.

I had no idea who could possibly be at the door and I certainly wasn’t going to check.

My phone buzzed in my purse and I thanked God that I always kept it on vibrate. If the person outside was a murderer I didn’t want to alert them to my location.

I checked the screen and read a text from Ezra.

EZRA: I’m outside.

I breathed a sigh of relief and put a hand over my racing heart, silently scolding myself for my silly thoughts.

I hurried to the front door and opened it.

He stood there in a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. His dark curly hair tumbled over his forehead, shielding his eyes.

“You scared me,” I scolded him.

“Sorry.” He appeared sheepish. “Are you done?” He asked, flicking his finger towards the darkened store. “I thought we could get dinner and celebrate.”

“What are we celebrating?” I asked.

“The fact that it’s been a week.” He shrugged, toeing the ground with his booted foot.

“A week since I’ve been dumped?” I raised a brow.

“Well, it sounds insensitive when you say it like that,” he grumped, brushing his long fingers through his shaggy hair. “You’ve been strong through all of this and I think you deserve to celebrate that.” He leaned against the side of the building and lowered his head as he looked at me. “Don’t you?”

I tapped my lip. “Are you buying?”

He snorted. “Of course.”

“Then yes, I do deserve to celebrate, and I plan on getting shit-faced.” I pumped my fist in the air.

He shook his head and tried to hide a smile. “Are you ready to go?” He asked.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “I just need to lock the back door first. Are we going in your car?”

“I thought we could walk.” He pointed across the street to where one of my favorite local restaurants sat.

“Wait here.” I held up a finger, telling him I’d only be a second.

I quickly locked the back door and the door to my office before rejoining him outside. I stopped, locking that one as well.

Ezra shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans as we crossed the street onto the back patio of the local pub. You seated yourself, and we managed to snag a seat on the upper deck.

Within a minute a waitress hurried over with menus and silverware.

“What can I get you guys to drink?”

“Alcohol,” I answered. “You can surprise me.”

She looked at me like I was crazy. “I’ll have the bartender make you our special…it’s kind of strong.”

“Perfect,” I grinned.

“For you?” She turned her attention to Ezra and her mouth fell open. “Oh my God!” She jumped up and down—I kid you not. “You’re Ezra, from Willow Creek! Oh my God, I can’t believe this! I mean, I knew you guys lived here, but I never thought I’d meet one of you. Wow! This is amazing! Can I get a picture and an autograph?”

Ezra flashed me an apologetic smile before smiling full watt at the waitress. “Absolutely. Anything for a fan.”

I sighed and looked around at the attention her scream had drawn our way. In no time we would be swarmed.

She pulled her cellphone out of her apron and he posed for a picture. She then gave him a pen and he signed a piece of paper on her notepad.

“Thank you so much!” She gushed. “I’ll be right back with your drinks.”

“You didn’t get mine!” Ezra called after her.

She quickly did an about-face, her face flushed with embarrassment. “I’m so sorry about that. What can I get you?”

“Water,” he replied, “and an order of nachos. They’re her favorite.” He pointed at me.

She glanced at me and I could tell she’d already forgotten my existence.

“I’m sorry,” Ezra mouthed as a group of girls rushed our table.

I shrugged. I was used to this happening when we went out in public. Usually it happened in L.A. and not here, but it was the same thing. Besides, a bunch of squealing teenage girls were nothing I couldn’t handle.

Ezra posed for picture after picture and signed autographs. Our waitress had to fight her way through the mob to give us our drinks and nachos. Then I had to yell over the screaming girls to give her my order, and Ezra’s too, since he was currently occupied and couldn’t order for himself.

Before the waitress left I grabbed her arm. “Would you mind getting management to break this up?” I asked.

The girls had already gotten what they came for, so I wasn’t being rude, but they had overstayed their welcome.

“I’ll send the manager over,” she assured me.

I took a sip of whatever concoction she’d brought me. Whoa. She hadn’t been lying. It was strong.

I sipped some more and the burn gradually disappeared.

The guy that was obviously the manager showed up and escorted the girls away.

“Your ticket is on me. I’m so sorry for this inconvenience,” he apologized.

Ezra shrugged, sitting down once more. “It’s not a big deal. I’m used to it.” He smoothed his fingers through his ruffled hair—one of the girls had mused it. I hated that so many people treated the guys like they weren’t even human.

“Still,” the manager said, “I’d like to take care of it.”

“Of course.” Ezra smiled and nodded. He hated getting special treatment so I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up leaving a wad of cash on the table before we left.

The manager smiled in goodbye and I was finally alone with Ezra.

“Is anybody else joining us?” I asked. It wasn’t unusual for the other guys to join us, and Emma of course, and I guess Mathias’ wife now—but I’d only ever met her once and the meeting had been brief since that happened to be the time Ezra punched Braden. Braden had spent half the night bitching about that and had continued to grumble for a good month afterwards. He was such a diva.

Ezra shook his head. “Just us. Something wrong with that?” He asked, bringing the glass of water to his lips.

“Of course not.”

Ezra and I went out just the two of us plenty of times in the past, not so much when I started dating Braden. He was too jealous.

“I ordered that burger you like,” I told him, finishing my drink.

“Thanks,” he smiled. “Was it good?” He nodded at my now empty glass.

“Fan-freaking-tastic, but it will take more than that to get me drunk.”

“Why do you want to get drunk?” He asked. “You’ll only regret it in the morning when you feel sick.”

“Because, for the last few years I’ve been nothing but responsible. Tonight,” I lifted my empty glass, signaling the waitress, “I want to be a normal twenty-one year old.” I answered with complete honesty. “And I know you won’t try to take advantage of me in my inebriated state,” I added.

He laughed, hiding his smile behind his hand.

“Also,” I continued as the waitress set down a new drink, “we live together. Therefore, you can haul my drunken ass home and not have to make an extra stop. It’s very considerate of me, I know. No need to praise me,” I joked.

“I’m happy to see you’re finally regaining your sense of humor. I was beginning to worry I was stuck with this melancholy version of you for a friend and that was really beginning to suck.” He winked.

I thought winking was the most ridiculous gesture ever, but Ezra made it downright sexy.

Wait…did I just call my best friend sexy?

What did they put into this magic potion to make me think such things? I proceeded to glare at my drink.

Eh, whatever.

I picked it up and drank half, wiping my mouth on the back of my hand.

So lady like.

I grabbed my fork and put some of the nachos on the plate the waitress had brought. Ezra was already devouring his own pile.

“These are so good,” I moaned, stuffing one into my mouth. This wasn’t a date so I could be as messy as I wanted.

He nodded his head in agreement, wiping his hands on his napkin.

“When was the last time you ate?” He asked me, noticing how I was devouring the chips.

My nose scrunched as I thought. “Uh…breakfast. I had a cereal bar for a snack.”

He glared at me. “You’ve only eaten once today?”

“I had a cereal bar!” I defended, gesticulating wildly with my free hand.

He shook his head as his teeth ground together. “Sadie, you can’t skip meals like that.”

I frowned. “I know, but I forget.”

“How do you forget to eat?” His hands landed roughly on the table as he leaned forward.

I shrugged, picking up another nacho chip and eating it. “I get busy and forget how much time has passed.”

He wasn’t pleased by my explanation and his nostrils flared.

“I’ll set a reminder in my phone,” I mumbled to appease him.

He still looked doubtful.

“Look, at least I’m eating now.” I pointed at my plate of nachos. Lifting my drink in the air, I added, “And drinking. Oh, alcohol, how I love thee.” I downed the rest of the drink. When a frown still marred his face, I said, “Eat, drink, and be merry. Your sourpuss vibe is killing my buzz and I need this right now.”

He laughed, the tension easing from his shoulders.

“Okay, I’ll let it go…for now.” He eyed me for a moment, letting me know that this conversation was far from over.

We’d unintentionally been leaning towards each other and jerked apart when the waitress appeared with our meals.

She set the burger in front of Ezra and a small pizza in front of me.

“Would you like another drink?” She asked me.

“Yep,” I nodded eagerly. “Go ahead and bring two.”

“Sadie.” Ezra warned with a low growl.

“Don’t listen to him,” I whispered conspiratorially, “someone pissed in his cheerios this morning.”

She glanced at Ezra, back to me, and then to him once more.

“Just bring her the drinks,” he grumbled. “Don’t make me regret this.” He warned me.

“However would I do that?”