Текст книги "In Your Heart "

Автор книги: Micalea Smeltzer

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Текущая страница: 13 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

Cold water prickled the skin of my stomach and I jolted into a seated position.

“What the hell?!” I exclaimed and looked up to find Hayes standing over me with a squirt gun. Where he found that I had no idea.

He smiled boyishly. “I didn’t think you’d want to miss this.”

“Miss what?”

He pointed to the sky.

“What the hell?” I repeated, blinking my eyes. “Is that—?”

“Yep,” he answered, grinning at the sight before us with his hands on his narrow hips.

“They’re insane!” I stood up, leaning my head back so I could see better.

Maddox and Emma were parasailing. To say they were adrenaline junkies was an understatement. They were always looking for another crazy adventure.

Ezra stood a few feet away with his phone held aloft, videoing our crazy best friends.

“One day they’re going to get themselves killed,” I groaned.

Zip lining, skydiving, and now parasailing. What was next? Cliff-jumping?

“Probably,” Hayes answered.

“Did I say that out loud?”

He chuckled and nodded.

“Oops.” I glanced away and noticed that Arden and Mia were gone. “Where did Arden go?”

“Mia was sleepy so she headed back to the car. We’re leaving after these two finish.” He pointed up at the sky.

“I’m posting this on YouTube,” Ezra chuckled, “the whole world needs to see these fools.”

“Wouldn’t your manager have a heart attack if he knew Maddox was up here?”

“Hells yeah,” Hayes laughed. “He’ll probably shit his pants. Julian is such a fucking fun-sucker.” He paused, his lips pursed in thought. “Maybe if he got laid he’d be happier.” He snapped his fingers together with a sudden though. “Ez, we should hire a hooker for him.”

I reached out and smacked the back of his head.

“Ow,” he rubbed the spot and mockingly glared at me, “that hurt.”

“Aw, poor baby.” I pouted. “I think you’ll live.”

Hayes smiled and his eyes dipped to my breasts.

I rolled my eyes and pointed to my face. “Eyes up here Hayes.”

“Sorry,” he cleared his throat, “I just can’t help myself. They’re just right in my face.”

“Dude,” Ezra glared, anger flashing in his eyes as he completely forgot about the video he was currently taking, “do you want me to punch you in the face?”

“Oh, so are you two—?” He trailed off, waving a finger between Ezra and me.

“No,” Ezra said adamantly, tucking his phone into the pocket of his board shorts, “but have some respect.”

Hayes made a sound in the back of his throat that made it obvious he didn’t believe Ezra. “Whatever. I’m going back to the cars. You guys can wait for them.”

Ezra let out a heavy sigh and crossed his hands behind his head. He wouldn’t look at me and that began to worry me. I stayed where I was, refusing to be the first one to break the silence.

“What have we done?” He asked, staring out at the sparkling ocean.

“What do you mean?”

He lowered his hands and plopped in the sand, draping his arms over his knees. “I knew this was a bad fucking idea, but I wanted you too much to say no,” he continued, “but this fucking sucks, Sadie. Anytime another guy even glances in your direction I want to punch him in the face.” He slowly raised his head and his dark gaze connected with mine. “I’m not allowed to have those feelings. You’re not mine.”

You’re not mine. Those words stung like a slap to my face.

“This is just sex. It’s not real.”

It’s not real. Another slap.

It was tearing me apart that he didn’t return my feelings, but I was still all too willing to take what he would give me for however long. The pain was worth knowing what it felt like to be held in his arms.

“Right?”

His voice startled me from my thoughts. I sat down beside him, crossing my legs in the sand. I picked up a handful of sand and watched it sift through my open fingers.

“Right,” I echoed, immediately hating that word. How could a word that by its very definition meant correct feel so undeniably wrong?

He reached over and took my hand in his, holding it until he was forced to let go.

I wished so desperately that we could have more than stolen moments, but wishing gets you nowhere, because wishes don’t exist.

As our friends joined us once more we headed out to lunch and then back to the beach house. Both of us forced our conversation out of our minds.

We had to.

At least I did, because letting myself believe for one single second that I’d heard a note of longing in his voice when he asked me if he was right, would lead me to feel nothing but anguish later on because it would give me hope, and hope was suffocating.

We laid around on the beach for a while before the guys got the brilliant idea to play beach volleyball. They were forcing all of us to play too, except for Remy. Mathias glared at his brother and friends, daring them to go against his wishes and let her play.

Remy was fine with sitting out though, which I knew made Mathias feel relieved.

There was already a net set up on the beach, between our house and the next one, which was currently vacant, but we didn’t have a ball. All three guys—minus Mathias who chose to stay behind with Remy—headed to the store.

While they were gone the rest of us ventured into the house to cool off. My skin felt heated to the touch, but I wasn’t burned, unlike poor Arden who was starting to look a little red. She hadn’t been exaggerating about the whole lobster thing.

I poured myself a glass of ice water and took a seat at one of the kitchen stools.

Emma ventured in and fixed a glass of water too. Her blonde hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun and she wore a sheer ivory cover-up over her bikini. It had fringe on the hem, which made it very Emma-like.

She sat down beside me and I smiled. “So…do you want to see what I’ve sketched for your dress?” The wedding was fast approaching so I had to start the actual process of making her dress soon, so I hoped she loved what I’d come up with.

“Ooh! Yes!” Her blue eyes glimmered with excitement. “I wanna see!”

“Wait here.” I instructed her before running upstairs to grab my sketchpad.

I returned with it clutched in my hands and I bounced with excitement. I was nervous too, though. There was the very real possibility that she might hate what I’d come up with.

“Lemme see!” She held out her hands in a grabbing motion.

I suddenly felt very unsure of my design. I reluctantly handed it over. I wanted to close my eyes so that I didn’t have to see her reaction if she hated it, but I manned up and held my chin high. It was her dress and if she didn’t like it, that was her right, but my designs were my babies.

Her mouth fell open and a small gasp emitted from her lips. “Sadie,” her voice was full of awe, “this is amazing.”

“Really?” A huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.

“I know I didn’t give you much to go on, but this? This is perfect. It’s more than I could’ve dreamed of.” She reached out and tentatively ran her fingers over the sketch.

I’d opted to go simple for the dress, but kept within Emma’s personal bohemian style. I wanted her to be comfortable in it and feel like herself. The shoulders were bare, but a lace draping went around the top of the dress adding more support and ending above her elbows. The dress was fitted against the stomach and then billowed out slightly around the hips, before ending in a short train with more lace detailing.

“I’ll get your measurements when we get home and then we can look at fabric together so that you get something you like.”

“Thank you.” She set the sketchpad aside and reached out to hug me.

I hugged her back fiercely. She might be driving me nuts with her meddling, but she was still my best friend. We’d grown up together, shared each other’s good moments and the bad ones too, and I knew I was lucky to have her on my side.

The front door opened and Emma thrust the sketchpad into my hands. “Hide this before Maddox sees,” she hissed.

I hurried for the stairs and had only climbed three when I felt eyes glued to my ass.

“Where do you think you’re going?” His voice poured over me like sticky honey, rooting me to the spot.

I casually looked over my shoulder, taking in his tousled black curls and searing brown-eyed gaze. He could be so intense sometimes.

“To my room,” I answered, finally finding my voice.

He opened his mouth to say something, but Maddox strolled by then and asked him a question.

The spell was broken.

I ran up the rest of the stairs, and the next set as well.

I was out of breath from the climb, but my racing heart? That was all Ezra.

I quickly put my sketchpad away before joining everybody outside for volleyball.

“I think we should do guys versus girls.” Hayes declared. The other guys nodded in agreement.

“That’s not fair,” I argued, “There are four of you and three of us since Remy’s sitting out.”

“I’ll sit out.” Mathias volunteered. His eyes already strayed to Remy where she sat a few yards away on a beach towel with her hands resting on her round stomach.

The other guys nodded at his declaration. They probably didn’t want the liability of having him on their team anyway, since he’d be distracted checking on Remy every five seconds. Hopefully he’d relax once she had the baby, but somehow I doubted it.

“So, now are we good with guys versus girls?” Hayes asked me, grinning widely.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged, “depends on if you’re ready to lose or not.”

“Ooh,” Hayes mock-winced, “the trash talking has begun already. Me likey.”

“Shut up.” Emma glowered, and stole the ball from his hands.

“Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Hayes whispered conspiratorially. “Maddox, you better do a better job of making sure your woman wakes up happy. You know, maybe a little oral in the morning.”

Emma gasped and threw the ball at his head. It bounced off and Ezra caught it.

Hayes rubbed the side of his head, and mumbled something, before joining the other two guys on one side of the net.

“We better beat them.” I told Emma and Arden.

“Oh, it’s on,” Emma agreed, still glaring at Hayes.

“I’m not very good at sports,” Arden admitted, glancing over in worry at Mia.

Mia was sitting with Remy and Mathias. Remy had the little girl sitting in front of her and was braiding her hair.

I quickly went over the rules of beach volleyball with her, but she still didn’t look very enthusiastic about playing.

Hopefully Emma and I would be able to pull off a win just the two of us.

We lined up with me on the front left, Arden to the right, and Emma behind in the middle.

Ezra tossed me the ball. “Y’all can serve first.”

“Aw, look at you guys trying to be all gentlemanly.” I laughed and threw the ball to Emma. “You’re still gonna lose,” I warned.

“We’ll see.” He grinned.

Emma served and the ball went over the net. Maddox hit it back over in Arden’s direction. She screamed and started to run away, but I managed to bump it back over the net.

“Get your head in the game!” I yelled at her. Yeah, I was competitive. So what?

“Did you just quote High School Musical to me?” She laughed.

The ball came sailing back over the net and Emma ran forward to hit it back over.

“Oh my God,” I groaned, “just play.”

Arden joined in after that, but it was up to Emma and me to make sure we didn’t lose. Poor Arden would never make it in sports. It was a good thing she worked in retail.

We ended up tied and my body pulsed with adrenaline. We were so close. We had this. I knew we did.

Hayes served it and it headed in Emma’s direction, but was low to the ground. She dove into the sand and bumped it up. Arden hit it and it went a little higher, but not enough to go over the net. I ran over and spiked it over the net.

It landed in the sand before Maddox could get to it.

“Did we win?” Arden screamed in excitement. “We won, right?”

“Yeah, we won,” I grinned, sticking my tongue out at the guys. Childish? Yes, but when you were friends you were allowed to do those silly things without it seeming rude.

Emma dusted sand off her body and I did the same.

“I think I have sand between my boobs,” she groaned.

Maddox strolled over and kissed her cheek. “I’d be happy to help you clean them.”

“Of course you would.” She snorted. “I really do need a shower, though.”

“Good, me too. We can shower together. You know, save the planet and conserve water. I’m very environmentally conscience like that.”

“Mhmm,” she hummed in agreement, “and it has nothing at all to do with getting me naked.”

“None at all.”

She shook her head, fighting a smile.

We all headed inside to shower and relax for a while. We were all tired from being outside all day.

I grabbed a quick snack before heading upstairs to my room to shower.

The bathroom attached to my room was just as dazzling as the rest of the house. Metallic glass tiles covered the walls and the floor was some kind of white tile that resembled wood. The shower was glass and there was a large Jacuzzi tub. I’d have to put that to use at least once before we left.

I turned the water on and let it get nice and warm before peeling off my bikini and stepping inside.

I felt my stiff muscles instantly uncoil and relax at the feel of the warm water.

I began to sing—don’t judge me, everybody did it—and didn’t notice when the door to the bathroom opened.

When the shower door jerked open I let out a scream. Ezra stepped inside, his hand falling on my mouth to stifle the sound. “Shh,” he warned, his dark brows drawn together, “you don’t want anyone to hear you.”

The noise coming out of my throat cut off and he dropped his hand.

“What are you doing in here?” I hissed, glaring at him. I refused to let my eyes stray over his body and his hard cock jutting proudly from his body. Nope, I wasn’t looking. Not. At. All.

He grinned. “You’ve been prancing around in that tiny excuse for a bikini teasing me all fucking day. Do you have any idea how difficult this has been to hide?” He pointed to his cock.

I swallowed thickly, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth.

“It’s been the best and worst kind of torture imaginable.” His voice dropped to a husky whisper. He stalked forward, like a panther cornering its prey. My back hit the tiled shower wall and water poured down around me. He placed his hands on either side of my head and leaned in close. “And now,” he continued, “if I don’t get to touch you, I think I might die.”

“Dramatic much?” I quipped, trying to hide how much my body was reacting to him.

“Just the truth, baby.”

Baby. I’d never liked pet names. I found them degrading and annoying, but hearing that word roll of Ezra’s tongue gave it a whole new meaning.

He continued to hover there, the water pouring down around us, like he was waiting for something.

Finally, he spoke again. “I won’t touch you until you give me permission.”

I stood on my tiptoes, holding onto the wall for added support. My lips grazed his ear and I whispered, “Touch me. All of me.”

Those words seemed to spark a fire inside him, one that burned for me and me alone.

He grasped my hips and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he pressed me into the wall.

He kissed me deeply, like he was trying to memorize the contours of my lips with his.

My fingers delved into his wet hair, tugging him impossibly closer. Our chests were pressed together fully and all he had to do was pull back and move his hips slightly and he’d be inside me.

Our pants filled the steaming air and I moaned into his mouth.

His hands palmed my ass and he lifted me up slightly, breaking our endless kiss.

“Hold onto my shoulders,” he commanded.

I did as he asked and the moment I did he thrust inside me. We both let out embarrassingly loud moans. He’d fucked me senseless the night before, and yet somehow it felt like it’d been forever since we were joined like this.

He rested his forehead against mine, not moving his hips as we both struggled to compose ourselves.

When he looked into my eyes I hoped he couldn’t see the fear there—the fear that I would never find this with anyone else.

His head moved from my forehead to the crook of my neck and his lips pressed gently against the spot where my pulse raced. Ever so slowly he pulled back slightly and then pushed inside me. He did it again and I thought I might cry. I wanted hard and fast, I didn’t want this. This was too much like making love and things like this weren’t allowed in our arrangement. Okay, so maybe it hadn’t been defined that way, but in my mind it wasn’t allowed. This felt too real.

“Harder,” I begged, clinging to his wet shoulders.

“No,” he growled lowly. He nipped my chin and then took my bottom lip between his teeth before letting it go.

“Please,” I panted, trying a different tactic.

“No.”

I really hated that word.

I tried to take matters into my own hands and began to circle my hips faster.

He grabbed my hips and held hard enough that I couldn’t move them. “I said no.”

“Ezra,” I begged.

“Stop thinking,” he whispered, his lips a breath away from mine, “just feel.”

God, I wanted to. I wanted to let myself go and revel in the way it felt to be held and loved so gently by him, but I was scared. So, undeniably, terrified that I’d end up ripping my heart out of my chest and handing it to him in the process.

“Feel, Sadie,” he said again, kissing me sweetly. “Feel how good we are together.”

Didn’t he know that was the problem? We felt too good together. Not just when we had sex, but at all times. He was my perfect other half.

A tear fell down my cheek, getting lost in the shower water.

I didn’t know how I would ever find the strength to let this go.

I didn’t want to.

But I had to.

I closed my eyes as his lips ghosted down my neck.

He clasped my hands in his and held them above my head. I gasped when he hit something deeper inside of me. “Ezra.” I panted his name over an over again. “Ezra. Ezra. Ezra.”

I was desperate to touch him, but he held my hands prisoner.

He angled his mouth over mine, and his tongue brushed into my mouth.

I was consumed.

Devoured.

Obliterated.

I did not exist.

Somehow I managed to let go of my thoughts and soon I was hurdling over the edge as an orgasm hit me.

I clung to him desperately, my legs shaking, and he let go of my hands to grasp my thighs.

He pushed into me a little harder, but still at an unhurried pace.

In a matter of minutes I was close to another orgasm.

I cried out, and he tried to silence me with a kiss.

“Fuck,” he growled against my throat, nibbling the tender skin there. “Oh, fuck you feel so good. I’m gonna come.”

When his orgasm hit he growled low in his throat and burrowed his head against my neck. His wet hair tickled me, but I was too tired to try to move away.

Still inside me, he murmured, “That was fucking amazing.”

I nodded.

He gently lowered me to the ground and he slipped free of my body.

Before I knew what he was doing he had my shampoo bottle in his hand, and poured some into his open palm.

“Turn around,” he commanded.

I did as he asked.

He lathered the shampoo into his hands and worked it into my hair. He rinsed it out and did the same with the conditioner.

When my hair was clean he reached for the body wash. He worked it into his hands and rubbed my shoulders and my arms, before cupping my breasts.

I leaned against him, absorbing his touch.

His hands roamed over my stomach and my body clenched with desire once more, hoping his hand would venture lower, but he didn’t. Instead he rinsed me off and used my shampoo to wash his own hair. I really hoped no one noticed that we both smelled like strawberries.

He turned the shower off and we stepped out. I wrapped the waiting towel around my body and grabbed another one from underneath the sink for him.

When I stood back up he was right there. I let out a startled squeak and jerked backwards, knocking into the large decorative vase that had some kind of wooden sticks in it. It fell to the floor and shattered with a loud clamor.

I looked at Ezra with panic in my eyes. “Oh, shit.”

He grabbed the towel from me and used it to rub his hair before tying it around his narrow waist. “No one probably heard.” He swept his thumb over my bottom lip, like it pained him to not touch me.

I glanced down at the shattered vase. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“I’m always right.” He chuckled.

He took my face between his large hands and kissed me long and deep, before stepping back. “I never want this to end.”

He said the words so quietly that I didn’t believe I heard him right, and was convinced they were merely a figment of my imagination.

He headed out of the bathroom without a backwards glance and I stood there, hating myself for letting my feelings get the best of me.

“What are you doing in Sadie’s room in only a towel?”

Ice drenched my veins. Oh, we were so fucked and not in the good way. I knew someone had to have heard the vase break and of course it would be Emma. I had the worst luck on the planet.

“There was a spider in the shower. She screamed and I came running over to see what was wrong.”

“And you got wet in this shower?”

I peeked around the edge of the bathroom doorway, but I couldn’t see Emma. All I could see was Ezra standing there, wet, in nothing but a towel. Normally this would be a wonderful sight to see, but not right now.

“Well, the shower was running so yes I got wet. But I came from my bathroom, where I’d been taking a shower, which is why I’m in a towel.”

Man, Ezra could lie pretty well under pressure. It was kind of scary.

“Mhmm, I’m sure that’s what happened,” she said doubtfully. “Is everything okay though? We heard something crash, so that’s why I came up here.”

“Uh, a vase might’ve been broken in the process of trying to kill the spider. It was huge. Mammoth sized. And fast. I’m lucky I escaped with my life intact.”

“Yeah, well, I’m happy to see you’re alive. Try not to hurt yourselves too much killing spiders.” She said the words like they were code for something. Maybe they were.

I heard her steps retreat away and a second later Ezra closed the door and turned to look at me. Panic shimmered in his dark eyes.

“We are so screwed.”