Текст книги "In Your Heart "

Автор книги: Micalea Smeltzer

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Текущая страница: 18 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

I WAS NUMB.

That was the only excuse I could come up with as to why I wasn’t currently bawling my eyes out. Especially considering all the tears I shed over Braden and I hadn’t loved him the way I loved Ezra.

God, my life was a fucking mess.

I stuffed all of my clothes and toiletries into my suitcase. It didn’t take long until there wasn’t a single trace of me left in his house. Selfishly, I hoped a small part of him would miss me. It was stupid, but I wanted him to hurt in someway. Although, his hurt would never compare to the pain I felt when walking out of the hospital and leaving behind my mangled heart crushed in his hands.

I hurried down the steps, my heavy suitcase clomping behind me.

I paused in the kitchen and removed his key from my key ring. I tossed it haphazardly on the counter and it clanked against the goldfish bowl. Toby swam into his lime green castle to hide away from the sound.

“Sorry Toby,” I muttered.

A part of me wanted to take the fish with me, but I didn’t know the rules when it came to fish-parent custody and I didn’t want him to use that as an excuse to come after me.

Although, I guessed if he was going to come after me he would’ve followed me here, which he hadn’t.

“Fuck you, Ezra Collins,” I muttered angrily to myself as I threw open the door, “fuck you and everything you make me feel.”

Outside I shoved my suitcase into my car.

When I drove away I didn’t look back.

I pulled into the driveway of my parent’s home and knocked on the door. I had a key, but I didn’t want to intrude.

My mom opened the door after only a few seconds.

“Sadie, is everything okay?” She was surprised to see me.

“No.” I began to wilt as she pushed open the screen door and pulled me inside. “Everything is a big puddle of suck. Why are boys so stupid?”

“Aw, Sadie.” She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me fiercely. “Boys never grow up. That’s their problem.”

“Is it okay if I stay here for a few days?”

She held me back by my shoulders and nodded. “You can stay here as long as you need to, sweetie. You know that.” She took my hand and led me into the kitchen. “Your dad’s out back starting the grill, but I made brownies this afternoon. Do you want some?”

I perked up slightly. “Do you have whipped cream?”

“Of course,” she said, heading to the refrigerator.

She fixed me a piece of brownie on a plate with whipped cream and chocolate syrup. It was delicious, but it did nothing to fill the gaping hole in my heart.

The back door slid open and my dad stepped inside. “Hey, Princess.” He greeted me with a kiss on the top of my head.

My dad was a tall, large, bear of a man. Some people found him scary and intimidating, but he was really a big softy. Especially when it came to my little sister and me.

He pulled out a chair and sat down beside me. “Have you been crying?” His eyes zeroed in on my face. I was sure my mascara was smudged and my eyes were probably red. When I didn’t answer he huffed, “Okay, who do I need to punch in the face? If it’s that prick you were going to marry I might just run him over with my car.”

I laughed. Leave it to my dad to make me laugh even when I felt like curling in a ball to die.

“No, it’s not him.”

“Richard,” my mom said lightly, “why don’t you take the burgers out and put them on the grill.”

“But—” He protested.

“Now, please.”

“Fine.” He grumbled. He stood and pointed a finger at me. “She might be dismissing me, but I will find out who hurt my baby girl.”

He grabbed the plate from her and headed out the back door once more, grumbling the whole way.

“Why don’t we go to the living room?” She suggested. “We’ll be more comfortable in there.”

“Sure…and do you think I could have another brownie?”

She laughed and took the plate from me. “You might as well eat them now. Once your dad starts in on them they’ll be gone in minutes.”

She fixed me another brownie and I followed her into the living room. The couch was a large black leather sectional that they’d had since my siblings and I were kids. There was still a long streak on the back of it from a silver sharpie.

I sat down and the cushions molded around me.

“Now, tell me what happened.” My mom sat down beside me and patted my knee gently.

While devouring my brownie I told her everything. I told her how Ezra had always been there for me, and how great he’d been when I needed a place to say. I even told her about our deal. I explained how I’d always felt around him and how in the past two months I’d discovered that I was in love with him, but that he didn’t feel the same way about me.

“Honey,” she looked at me sadly, “how would you know he doesn’t love you. Did you ever really give him a chance?”

I wiped a streak of whipped cream off of my lip. “He had plenty of chances.”

“Well…” She paused. “He’s a guy, Sadie. You know how boys are with their feelings.”

“I told him I loved him and he just stood there.” I looked down at the now empty plate.

“Maybe he was shocked,” she defended.

“Hey,” I pointed my fork at her, “whose side are you on here?”

She smiled. “Yours. Always. You know that. But I’ve also seen Ezra enough to know that he’s the quiet, guarded type. You’re…” She paused, searching for the right words. “You’re like a tornado. You blaze through town with this wild energy, not caring what kind of disruption you cause.” I pouted and she laughed. “That’s not a bad thing, Sadie. I’m just saying he’s different. He’s the quiet moody poet in the corner while you’re the one spinning through the room making a spectacle of yourself. All I’m trying to tell you is not everyone deals with things the same way.”

I leaned my head back on the couch. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Doesn’t it?”

I shook my head. “I just want to move past this.”

She grew quiet and stared at me for a moment. “I think you should talk to him.”

I grunted in response. “I don’t think so. I did plenty of talking today.”

“It sounds to me like you didn’t really give him a chance to respond.”

“No, I didn’t,” I agreed. “But I couldn’t stand there in the middle of a hospital and let his friends hear him shoot me down. I know he would’ve told me that he only ever wanted to be friends and that he was sorry he couldn’t return my feelings.”

“But how do you know he would’ve said that?” She argued.

“I just know.” I grumbled. “Look,” I stood up, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Okay.” She sat calmly with her hands in her laps. “The conversation is forgotten then.”

“Good,” I nodded. Wringing my hands together, I smiled sheepishly. “Are you sure it’s okay if I stay here? I found a place of my own, but I need to get furniture and everything.”

“You know you don’t need to ask.”

“Thanks, mom.” I lowered and kissed her cheek.

“Are you still hungry after all of those brownies?” She asked, standing up and heading towards the back door. “I’m sure your dad’s finished with the burgers by now.”

“Nah,” I shook my head. “Maybe later. I think I’m going to get my stuff and lay down for a bit.”

“Okay.” She hugged me, the kind of hug that made me feel like I was going to suffocate, but secretly loved. “Everything’s going to be okay.” She took my face in her hands. “You’ll see.”

“I hope so,” I replied. My mom had never been wrong before, but there was a first time for everything.

I was sitting at the table eating breakfast when the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it!” My dad called from his den.

My body had completely frozen over.

Could it be?

“Emma!” I heard my dad boom and my shoulders sagged. It wasn’t him. Of course it wasn’t, but I’d dared to hope.

Footsteps sounded towards the kitchen and then Emma and my dad appeared in the doorway.

“You look a lot better.” And she did. Her skin was back to its normal color and there was some pink in her cheeks. She didn’t look as tired either.

“I feel better.” She pulled out a chair and sat down.

My dad quietly left the room.

“So…” She tapped her fingers restlessly against the tabletop. “I was right about you and Ezra?”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure he told you everything.”

“He didn’t say too much,” she shrugged, “but it was impossible not to hear you yelling in the hallway.”

“Oh, right.” I winced.

She gave me a sympathetic look.

“I really made a fool of myself, didn’t I?”

She shook her head. “I don’t think so. I think it’s about time you stood up for your feelings instead of burying them.”

I stared up at the ceiling, my bowl of cereal forgotten. “I tried so hard not to fall in love with him,” I whispered.

“We can’t control who we love. We just do.”

“It just sucks when the person you love doesn’t love you back.”

Her lips pressed into a thin line, but she said nothing.

“Anyway,” I stood up, emptying my uneaten cereal into the sink, “I’m going shopping today for my place. Do you want to come with me? I could always use your opinion.”

When I turned back around Emma was smiling. “I’d love to help. And maybe while we’re shopping you could tell me all about what’s been going on this summer that you tried so hard to hide.” She stood and bumped her shoulder against mine.

“We were pretty obvious, huh?”

“You think?” She laughed. “I’ve always been rooting for you guys though. I just…I guess I always thought you’d be the stubborn one about a relationship, not him. It’s always been clear to me how he feels about you.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, padding down the hall to the tiny guestroom. It had a futon instead of a bed, and my back was aching today from how uncomfortable it had been.

“He loves you. I think he’s scared, though.”

“He doesn’t love me,” I protested, shaking my head as I searched through my suitcase for something to wear.

Emma sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. When I looked over my shoulder at her she seemed torn about something.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Nothing,” she responded quickly, too quickly.

I arched a brow.

“It’s nothing,” she repeated.

“Whatever.” I wasn’t in the mood to argue with her. We’d done far too much of that the last few months. It was time to put everything in the past.

I dressed in a pair of shorts and a loose top. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and grabbed my purse.

“I’m ready.”

We drove around to the various furniture stores in town and I was able to find everything I needed.

From there we headed to Target so I could get things for the kitchen and bathroom. I had nothing of my own to take to my place, so it was fun to be able to pick out new things. It gave me something to smile about when it felt like my life had gone to shit around me.

All while we shopped I explained to Emma about my arrangement with Ezra, and why I hadn’t wanted to tell her. She seemed to see where I was coming from and gave me much needed support.

“I feel like such an idiot,” I confessed to her, when we sat down at a little café to get a bite to eat.

She stayed mysteriously quiet, perusing the menu like it was the most fascinating thing she’d ever seen.

“Come on, Emma. You have to have some sort of opinion on my idiocy.”

She shook her head and finally lowered the menu. “I think you’re both idiots.”

“What?” I laughed.

“He’s a dumb boy that was too stupid to realize his feelings until it was too late, and you’re stupid to have walked away without giving him a chance to explain where he was coming from.” She sat back and crossed her arms over her chest, leveling me with a glare.

“What do you mean about that first part?” I asked hesitantly.

She waved away my words. “I said I wouldn’t say anything. And Ezra’s my friend too, so my lips are sealed.” She mimed zipping her lips. “You need to talk to him though.”

I shook my head and picked up my glass of water the waiter had left. “I’m not ready. I need some space to clear my head.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Y’all better not mess up my wedding. You do remember that he’s supposed to escort you down the aisle?”

“Unfortunately, I hadn’t forgotten that tidbit of information.”

“No fighting at my wedding. I mean it,” she warned. “I’ll kick you both. Don’t doubt me.”

I managed to laugh. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”

Ezra might get the silent treatment, but I’d never do anything to jeopardize Emma’s special day.

“Promise me you’ll talk to him.”

“I promise,” I whispered, but we both knew those words were a lie.

WE NEED TO TALK.

The four words glared up at me from the screen of my phone.

Please Sadie.

Don’t ignore me.

I stuffed my phone in my back pocket. I didn’t have time for this. I didn’t need him to tell me to my face how he was sorry for everything, and that he’d never meant for any of this to happen, that everything was supposed to be simple until I had to go and ruin it.

I set the shopping bags down on the kitchen counter in my new place. All the furniture had been delivered and Emma had come by to help me unpack. Not that there was really anything to unpack. I think she just didn’t want me to be alone.

I rifled through the bags until I found the one with the plates. Once I located it I sat it on the dining room table and took a seat to start peeling off the price stickers.

“This place is nice,” Emma commented, looking out one of the tall windows.

“Thanks. I really like it.”

She took a seat and grabbed half of the plates.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and her brows rose in interest. “Is that him?”

“Possibly.”

She slapped her palms against the table. “I’m getting married in a week. Fix this,” she hissed.

I rolled my eyes. “I promise that my love life will not interfere with your wedding.”

She groaned. “Forget messing up my wedding, think of this as a gift instead. You two working out your problems would be the best wedding gift you could give me.”

I eyed her. “Better than your dress?”

“Yep, that would be even better than my dress.”

“I don’t even know what to say to him.” I dropped my head in my hands, the plates lying forgotten on the table.

“Then don’t say anything to him. Let him do all the talking.”

I nearly rolled my eyes out of my head. “Ezra? Talking?”

“It’s true that he’s a man of few words, but when he does have something to say it’s usually important and you should listen.”

“When did you become my therapist?” I jested.

She tucked a piece of unruly blonde hair behind her ear. “When you started being so blind.”

I grumbled under my breath. I wasn’t blind. I saw what was right in front of me and it was blatantly obvious that he didn’t love me. Or, he did, but not in the way I wanted him to.

I finished peeling off the stickers and set the plates in the sink to wash them later.

“Can you do these?” I asked Emma, handing her the bag with the cups.

“Sure.”

“Oh, and here’s this.” I grabbed a spare key off the counter. “I wanted you to have this just in case.”

She smiled and tucked the key into her pocket.

While she was helping me with the cups I made my bed since it’d been lying bare.

The place was starting to look better. Even still, I missed Ezra’s cozy little cottage on the lake. It felt like home. This still didn’t feel quite right, and I was reminded of a quote I’d once seen that said it’s the people that make the place, not the things.

After another hour of unpacking shopping bags and putting things away, Emma and I walked the two blocks over to my store for her final fitting.

Remy and Arden were already waiting, because they needed to try on their bridesmaid dresses.

I put Emma in her dress and stood back to admire my handiwork. I might have to add custom wedding dresses as something I offered in my store. It had been hard, but worth it.

Emma spun around, admiring her reflection. “This dress is so beautiful, Sadie. I can’t thank you enough.” She hugged me fiercely. Into my ear she whispered, “You’re going to get your happily ever after too. You’ll see.”

I wanted to believe her, I really did, but at some point you have to grow up and stop believing in fairytales.

She patted my cheek in a gesture similar to something my mother would do.

“Chin up, buttercup.”

I giggled and she smiled at having had her intended effect.

I helped her out of her dress and put it away in its garment bag.

“Alright ladies, you next.” I motioned Arden and Remy over.

Originally Hayes wasn’t going to escort anyone down the aisle since Emma didn’t have another bridesmaid in mind, but after our vacation she’d asked Arden to be in the wedding. Arden had been surprised at first, but quickly agreed. Arden fit into our group seamlessly.

“Don’t forget you have to try on your dress too!” Emma warned.

“I burned my dress.” I said it as straight-faced as I could.

Her mouth fell open. “Sadie! You better not have!”

I began to laugh and she eased. “You know I would never do that.”

“You scared me there for a second. I think my heart stopped.” She put a hand to her chest.

“You’re feeling okay, right?” I asked, suddenly worried as I pulled the dresses out of the closet in my office.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve been a lot better since I was in the hospital.”

“I’m so excited that our kids will be the same age,” Remy beamed, taking the dress from my hands.

“Me too,” Emma agreed. “I hope they’ll be really close.”

“Best friends,” Remy agreed.

It was a happy moment, but my heart sagged. I’d once dreamed of having that same conversation with Emma. Only we’d been older and both married. Now she was moving on and starting a whole new chapter of her life without me.

I handed Arden her dress and grabbed mine. We didn’t bother with modesty as we all stripped down and slipped into our dresses.

Emma clapped her hands giddily. “You all look beautiful!”

“I feel fat,” Remy grumbled, putting a hand over her swollen stomach.

“How far along are you now?” I asked her.

She fanned herself with a spare piece of paper. “Almost eight months.”

“You’re getting close then,” I commented.

“Not close enough,” she sighed. “I’m ready to get this baby out. He’s killing my back.”

“If you’re trying to scare me,” Emma gulped, “it’s working.”

Remy laughed. “It’s not that bad…sometimes.”

Emma took a deep breath. “No more baby talk. I have enough anxiety at the moment.”

I looked over Remy and Arden’s dresses and everything seemed fine. I hadn’t made these, but I had done the tailoring.

I stood so the three of us were lined up in front of Emma. “Do they get the bride’s approval?”

She clapped her hands giddily. “They’re perfect!” Standing, she threw her arms around us in a group hug. “Guys! I’m getting married in three days! This is it!”

“I still think you should have a bachelorette party,” Remy said, grinning widely. “We could go to the bar where I used to work. I’m sure I could bribe Tanner into doing a striptease.” She cackled.

Emma wrinkled her nose. “I never wanted a party, and definitely not any stripping.”

“You suck.” Remy stuck out her tongue and then reached for the zipper on the back of the dress. When her arms didn’t reach Arden slid it down for her.

“Maddox and I wanted to keep everything low key.” Emma reminded us. “You know us. We don’t like to cause a fuss.”

“That’s okay,” I piped in, trying to be positive, “when I get married I’ll have the strippers.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Then I’m not coming.”

“More strippers for me then.” I laughed heartily. I hadn’t laughed this much, or this genuinely, since everything blew up with Ezra.

“Amen to that.”

I glanced over at Arden in surprise. “What?” She batted her eyes innocently. “Just because I have a kid doesn’t mean I’m dead.”

We all laughed at that and I couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face if I wanted to. Everybody needed girl time now and then.

CHAOS.

That was the only way to describe the mess surrounding me.

For a “small” wedding there sure were a lot of people running around.

I sat in a chair, trying not to wiggle so much as the makeup artist expertly applied my makeup. Across the room someone was doing Emma’s hair. Beyond this room people ran through the Wade’s house trying to get everything set up in time. The wedding was being held in the backyard, but they were decorating the interior for the event as well.

“I’m so nervous,” Emma confessed, her fingers dancing along the arm of the chair. “What if they tell me to say ‘I do’ and I say ‘I don’t’ by accident?”

I wanted to laugh, but the makeup artist was applying false lashes and I really didn’t want to incur her wrath.

“That’s not going to happen, Emmie.” Her mom breezed into the room already dressed with her hair and makeup done.

“Looking good.” I told her mom.

“Thanks, Sadie.” She smiled in my direction.

“I’m sweating so bad right now,” Emma continued, “I’m going to look like a hot mess, literally, when I walk down the aisle. Oh my God, what was I thinking telling that boy I’d marry him?” She rattled. “We would’ve been fine without all of this.” She waved her hands wildly and the hair stylist scolded her.

Emma’s mom pulled out a chair across from her. “Honey,” she took Emma’s hand, “he loves you and you love him. Stop worrying so much about everything else and focus on that fact, okay?”

Emma nodded. “I think I can do that.”

“Alright,” she stood, “I’m going to go find Karen and see what I can help with.” She turned towards me. “Keep her calm.”

“I can do that,” I assured her.

The woman doing my makeup finished and went on to Remy.

I’d already done my own hair and the other girl’s in a simple fishtail braid.

I slipped into my dress and went to sit beside Emma. Her hair was being styled back in a simple bun with a few strands framing her face.

“Have you talked to Ezra yet?”

I glared at her. “Today is your wedding, Ezra and I should be the last thing on your mind.”

“I’m worried about you guys,” she confessed with a frown.

“Don’t be. Seriously, don’t waste your time worrying about us.”

“I’ll try,” she mumbled, but I doubted she’d be able to let it go.

“Think about that cute little baby you’re going to have soon.” I pointed to her still flat stomach. “And just so you know, I’m going to spoil that kid silly.”

She laughed and began to relax. “Yeah, this will be one spoiled baby.” She stroked her fingers over her stomach. “You know, this wasn’t expected, and I would’ve liked to have waited a few more years, but…I’m really excited.”

“You should be,” I assured her. “You and Maddox will be the best parent’s ever. And hey,” I grinned, “think of all the cute baby clothes Maddox can knit.”

She snorted. “He was already going crazy making things for baby Liam,” she pointed towards Remy, “he’s going to be even worse now.”

“I guess this means you guys will be moving out of the guesthouse?” I raised a brow.

She wrinkled her nose and groaned. “Don’t remind me. Normally Maddox and I are on the same page, but not when it comes to what kind of house we want. It seems like neither of us will get our way now. With the baby coming, we don’t have time to build a house or remodel.”

“I’m sure you guys will figure it out.”

“Thirty minutes ladies,” Karen, Maddox’s foster mom, poked her head through the doorway.

“I’m going to be sick.” Emma paled.

“You can do this,” I assured her.

She took a deep breath. “I feel like my heart is going to beat right out of my chest.”

“That’s normal.” I assured her.

The woman finished her hair, accenting it with a few small white flowers pinned into her hair.

Before Emma could freak out too much I managed to get her in her dress and then gave her a pep talk before it was show time.

We lined up at the French doors in the kitchen that led out into the backyard. All of the windows were lined with lavender tulle and string lights, thick enough that we couldn’t see out and no one could see in.

I was acutely aware of Ezra standing in the corner. Even though I told myself not to look every few seconds my eyes flicked in his direction anyway. He was always looking at me too.

He looked amazing in the black tuxedo with his hair tamed away from his forehead. He’d shaved, so he wasn’t as scruffy as normal, but there was still a little bit of stubble dotting his cheeks and chin.

Somebody yelled for us to get lined up and he started towards me.

I swallowed past the lump in my throat, hating how my heart sped up the closer he got to me. We were to walk out last since I was Emma’s Maid of Honor and he was Maddox’s Best Man. You would’ve thought Mathias might have been pissed that his twin didn’t choose him as his Best Man, but he didn’t care. He was still too busy flying high about his epic love with Remy to care about anything else.

Ezra crooked his elbow and I slid my hand inside the space.

Someone handed me my bouquet and went over a few more instructions, but I couldn’t hear a word they said, because Ezra chose that moment to lower his head and brush his lips against my ear. “We need to talk. You can’t avoid me forever.”

“I’m not avoiding you.” I was surprised by how evenly I was able to say the words.

He made a noise in the back of his throat. “Bullshit. You need to give me a chance to explain. After the ceremony, please talk to me.”

“No,” I said firmly, “there’s nothing to say. Besides, I won’t ruin Maddox and Emma’s wedding by arguing with you.”

“Dammit, Sadie,” he growled, anger lacing his words. I’d never heard him sound so pissed and hurt in all the time I’d known him. Ezra was always even-tempered. “You will talk to me.”

I shook my head as the French doors opened.

Hayes and Arden walked out first, and then Mathias and Remy, leaving Ezra and I to take our places.

He straightened then and we both plastered on fake smiles.

I counted the steps in my head, trying not to think about how tense Ezra’s arm felt against my hand or the words he’d spoken.

As soon as I could let go of him, I did, and took my place beside the altar.

The backyard had been transformed into a magical wonderland. Small fairy lights glimmered everywhere and fake walls decorated in green foliage and flowers hid the guesthouse and surrounding homes. The pool was decorated with glowing orbs that floated on the water. I knew when the sun went down it would be even more beautiful.

I giggled when I saw what came out behind us.

Sonic, Maddox’s hedgehog, scampered down the aisle in a bow tie with the rings tied around his body.

“Come here.” Maddox crouched down when Sonic veered off the path. At the sound of his voice Sonic righted himself and scurried into Maddox’s empty hands.

Maddox untied the rings and handed them to Ezra to hold.

He sat the hedgehog on his shoulder and then turned towards the doors.

I felt, rather than heard, Maddox’s intake of breath when he saw Emma. It was like with that one single inhale he stole all of the air around us.

I glanced over at him and saw tears shimmering in his eyes, but he was trying to play it cool. Ezra clapped him on his shoulder and said something under his breath.

It must’ve done the trick, because Maddox let go, letting the tears flow freely.

Since Emma’s dad wasn’t in the picture her mom was the one that walked her down the aisle.

She placed Emma’s hand in Maddox’s and kissed each of their cheeks. “I love you,” she whispered to the two of them before taking her seat.

Emma handed me her bouquet and flashed a smile as she turned to face Maddox.

The preacher began to speak and I tried to focus on what he was saying, but it was impossible when I could feel the weight of Ezra’s eyes on me.

I heard the preacher say it was time to kiss the bride, and Maddox grabbed Emma’s face between his hands and gave her a very dramatic kiss before the two of them headed back down the aisle.

“Take these.” I shoved the two bouquets I held at Remy and took off away from the ceremony.

I hurried behind the fake walls and ran over to the guesthouse where I grabbed the spare key from underneath the mat and let myself inside.

I knew I couldn’t run away from my problems forever, but tonight I had to. I was afraid if I spoke to Ezra I’d either scream at him or throw myself at him. Neither of which was an appropriate option at the moment.

I sat down on the couch and put my head in my hands, trying to compose myself.

I hadn’t seen him since that day I walked away in the hospital and I stupidly thought that the time apart would have desensitized me to his affect. Wrong. So, very wrong. If anything it had made things worse.

The door to the guesthouse opened and I immediately jumped into a standing position, turning around sharply. I was braced for a fight, but it wasn’t Ezra.

Instead Arden stared back at me with wide eyes. “Are you okay?” She asked, stepping forward hesitantly like I was a wounded animal that might snap and bite her hand off. “You ran away so fast…I was worried.”

“I’m fine.”

She raised her brows, urging me to be honest.

“Okay, I’m not fine,” my shoulders sagged, “but I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Fair enough.” She gave me a sympathetic smile. “I know you really want to hide in here, but they need you for pictures.”

I closed my eyes and my teeth snapped together.

“Come on,” Arden urged, stepping around the couch to take my hand, “it won’t be that bad.”

“You have no idea.”