Текст книги "In Your Heart "

Автор книги: Micalea Smeltzer

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Текущая страница: 3 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

I smoothed the wrinkles out of the shirt and stood up straight. “Yeah,” I held my head high, “I am.”

My pride had taken a major bruising, but I really was okay with all of this. It had been eye opening.

“Well, that’s good,” she said, although her tone suggested she was doubtful of my sincerity.

“This is a new beginning,” I stated.

She leaned her hip against the table. “We’ll have to get dinner soon if I can manage to get a sitter for Mia. I think we both need some girl time.”

“That would be nice,” I agreed, moving through the store.

There wasn’t anything else for me to fix. Arden was always on top of things.

“I guess I’ll head out.”

“I have everything covered,” she assured me.

“Thanks.” I flashed her a grateful smile.

She reached her arms out and hugged me briefly. “The best is yet to come,” she whispered in my ear.

I closed my eyes, hanging onto those words and praying that she was right.

IT FELT WEIRD being in Ezra’s house by myself. I knew he would want me to make myself at home, but it wasn’t my home.

I’d been here for hours and he still hadn’t come back. It was late afternoon now and I’d spent the whole day making phone calls to cancel everything associated with the wedding, as well as to let my family know. My dad and brother had both offered to castrate Braden for me. I turned down their offers, as tempting as they might be. When I told my mom, she said, “Oh thank God.” I would’ve been more hurt by her words if I hadn’t come to see what an asshole he was. Emma hadn’t said much when I told her. I got the impression that she was afraid, “I told you so,” might pass through her lips while she was trying to be supportive.

I heard the roar of a car and rolled off the couch, hurrying to the front window.

Ezra’s large SUV zoomed down the drive with Maddox’s sleek sports car behind him. I saw Emma sitting in the passenger’s seat and a smile spread across my face. She hadn’t said anything about coming over when I talked to her earlier and I hadn’t wanted to ask and sound whiny, but I really needed her right now.

I waited for them to park before opening the door and rushing outside.

Emma had barely gotten out of the car before I crashed into her arms, squeezing her tight. I’d seen her only a week ago when we got together to catch up after her being gone on tour with the guys, but it felt like so much longer.

She hugged me back just as fiercely.

“Why are you guys here?” I asked, flicking my head in the direction of Maddox and giving him a small wave.

He smiled and waved back. His brown hair fell messily over his forehead and stubble dotted his jaw. He crossed his arms and laid them on the roof of his car. “This one,” he pointed at Ezra who was walking towards us, “said something about a party.”

“A party?” My brows rose in interest.

“Yeah,” Ezra nodded. “I’m calling it the Thank-God-That-Asshole-Is-Out-Of-Your-Life party.”

Laughter burst free of my lungs and I couldn’t seem to stop. “That’s quite a long name for a party.”

He shrugged. “It seemed appropriate.”

“I hope you got alcohol.”

At my words he walked over and opened the trunk of his SUV, revealing two twelve packs of beer stacked beside my belongings.

I put a hand to my forehead and pretended to swoon. “You’re a life saver.”

“I also got cake.” He smiled proudly. “And fireworks, because what party is complete without blowing some shit up.”

“Yeeeaaah!” Maddox clapped his hands together. “Beer and fire, I like this party.” He held out his fist for Ezra and Ezra bumped his against it.

Boys.

Emma shook her head, a small smile turning up her lips. She eyed the boxes in Ezra’s car. “Do you want me to help you unpack?”

I had told Emma on the phone that I would be staying with Ezra for the foreseeable future.

“That would be great.” It would make the time go faster and we could talk.

We each grabbed a box and Ezra told me that he and Maddox would bring in the rest. I flashed both guys a grateful smile.

Emma followed me up the porch steps and into the cottage. Since Maddox and Ezra were best friends she’d been here plenty of times before.

I trudged up the steps and pushed open the door to the guestroom with a shove of my shoulder.

I set the box in my hands down on the bed and Emma did the same.

The guys were right behind us with more boxes.

Ezra lingered in the doorway, looking back at Maddox and then Emma before his eyes landed on me. “I…uh…” He scratched the back of his head, a nervous habit. “I cleared out a drawer in the bathroom for you to put your things.”

“That’s nice of you, but you didn’t need to do that. The last thing I want to do is disrupt things for you.” I felt like I kept telling him that over and over again, but I sincerely meant it. It was never my intention to swoop in and unsettle things.

“You’re not disrupting anything.” He assured me.

Emma watched our exchange with a careful eye.

“Well, thanks for the drawer then. If you’re sure?” I questioned further.

“I am.” He nodded.

He ducked out of the room then with Maddox behind him.

Emma’s lips twisted as she fought a smile.

“What?” I asked, knowing exactly where this was heading but refusing to be the one to initiate the conversation.

“What’s going on with you guys?” She asked, trying to hide her growing smile.

I fiddled with my keys, looking for the chain with the small pocketknife. My dad insisted I always have one with me, and he’d also stuck a can of pepper spray in my car. He took the over protective parent role very seriously.

Once I found the knife, I used it to slice open the tape on one of the boxes.

Shrugging, I began to lay the stuff on the bed. “We’re friends. We have been for years. Nothing has changed.”

She eyed me for a moment and then let out a sigh. She opened another box and started unpacking that stuff.

“You haven’t talked to him since New Year’s,” she whispered, “that hurt him.” She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye, waiting for my reaction.

I set a stack of jeans on the bed before turning to the dresser and opening a drawer.

“I did what I had to do.” I swallowed past the lump in my throat, waiting for her to ridicule me for my stupid decisions.

“I know,” she replied, shocking me. “There’s something I’ve been wondering, though,” she started.

I raised a brow for her to continue when she trailed off.

“Why did you call him when you got arrested and not me? I can see why you wouldn’t want your parent’s to know, but you and I have been best friends for longer than you and Ezra.”

I hadn’t told my parent’s about getting arrested, but I had let Emma in on that detail.

I began to place the jeans in the drawer, weighing my answer. “I guess I was afraid you’d judge me.” I shifted my eyes nervously in her direction.

She reeled back, shocked by my admission. “How could you think that?”

I put the last pair of jeans away and closed the drawer.

I waved a hand at her and said, “Look at you, Emma! You have the perfect relationship with the perfect guy. You’re happy. You didn’t get with some fuck up like I did.” I opened another box, my back now turned to her.

“You think my relationship is perfect?” She snorted. “I assure you, it’s not. We have our ups and downs like everybody else.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, grabbing the stack of clothes from the box. These were on hangers so I walked over to the closet to hang them up. “But you guys are…ugh…. You’re perfect for each other. Braden and I were not. You warned me that he was the wrong guy, so I guess I was afraid you’d say ‘I told you so.’”

“You know I would never do that,” she defended, “and Ezra could just as easily have said that to you. My God, he’s the one that punched Braden, not me.”

I finished hanging up the clothes and faced her with a frown on my face. “I didn’t want to be a bother to you, okay? You’re always wrapped up in Maddox and now you’re planning your own wedding,” I pointed to her hand where a unique purplish pink diamond glittered, “so I didn’t want to be an inconvenience. I knew I could count on Ezra.”

“But you can count on me too.” Her voice was no more than a whisper and hurt swam in her blue eyes. Her mouth fell open and she let out a small gasp. “Are you lying to me? Is something going on between you guys and that’s why you and Braden broke up?”

I snorted. We were back to square one. “No,” I emphasized the word. “We’re only friends and Braden is a lying, filthy, cheating scumbag.” My fists tightened at my sides.

“Did you start the name calling without us?” Maddox joked as he and Ezra arrived with more boxes. “I’m hurt.” He set the boxes on the floor and then swooped down to give Emma a kiss on her cheek.

Ezra smiled as he watched the gesture. We were both so used to Maddox and Emma’s constant displays of affection that we were no longer grossed out.

“Do you have enough room for everything?” Ezra looked concerned as his eyes flitted about the area. He seemed to be taking stock of the furniture to see if there was enough space for all of my belongings.

“It’s fine,” I assured him, my hand briefly landing on his arm. I let go hastily when Emma’s eyes fell to where I touched him. She was reading into nothing. “You don’t need to worry about me,” I told him, pretending Emma wasn’t listening to and analyzing every word that left my lips, “you letting me stay here is enough.”

It was kind that Ezra was going out of his way to try to make me feel comfortable but it was completely unnecessary. I couldn’t help but feel safe in his presence. Was it my ideal scenario to be crashing here for a while? Definitely not. But I was okay.

He nodded and flashed a small smile. “I’ll try to stop worrying then.”

Expecting Ezra not to worry would be like anticipating the sky turning green. It was never going to happen.

Ezra was usually a laid-back guy, but when he cared about someone or something it worried him endlessly.

Ezra turned to leave once more but Maddox appeared in the doorway. I hadn’t even realized he left.

“These are the last two,” he declared, setting the new boxes on the floor beside the others.

“We’ll be out back while you finish unpacking.” Ezra nodded at Emma and then me.

The guys left, their shoes smacking against the wood stairs.

I went to work opening the new boxes and noticed that the one containing my wedding dress and the sheets were suspiciously absent.

Emma eyed me with a speculative look as she set about removing items from boxes. “So…you don’t have any feelings for him?”

I sighed. This wasn’t a new question.

“I love Ezra as a friend. Nothing more.” I muttered the words as I stuffed my bras and panties into the top dresser drawer. I could refold them later.

Emma made a noise that sounded like a grunt of disagreement. “You guys have been skirting around your chemistry for years. It’s only a matter of time…”

“A matter of time until what?” I asked.

“Until you fuck each other’s brains out.”

I laughed, the kind of laugh that came deep from your belly. Before Emma met Maddox she blushed as red as a tomato at any mention of sex. That girl was long gone.

“That’s not going to happen,” I declared once I’d sobered.

She quirked a brow and eyed me with indignation. “We’ll see.”

We finished unpacking all of my stuff and I changed into a pair of jeans and a lightweight sweater. While the summer days were scorching hot, the evenings could be downright chilly where you wanted to snuggle beneath a blanket.

Emma and I found the guys out back seated around the fire pit. A fire roared and the makings for s’mores lay on a side table.

Emma scurried over to the chair beside Maddox, but he snagged her around the waist before she could sit down, and she fell onto his lap with a giggle.

I took the chair beside Ezra, wanting to distance myself from their sickeningly sweet displays of affection. Their relationship was one for the storybooks—one I didn’t think I’d ever find for myself.

Was I jealous?

I didn’t think so. I was happy that Emma had found something so special, but I was also smart enough to know that it was rare and the chances of me finding it were slim to none.

“Did you get everything unpacked?” Ezra asked, stealing me from my thoughts.

“Yes,” I answered, staring at the roaring fire as it soared higher. I leaned back in the Adirondack chair, making myself comfortable.

“Good,” he replied.

I felt like there was a slight awkwardness between us at moments, and I guessed that was perfectly understandable since I’d ignored him for the last six months and then come barreling back into his life with a mountain of baggage.

“Oh, here,” he said suddenly, reaching down. He removed the top on a longneck bottle of beer and held it out to me.

“Thanks,” I smiled, taking it.

Maybe to someone else it would seem surreal to be sitting around drinking beer with the bassist and drummer for one of the most popular bands in the world, but for me it felt right. Initially, when I first met the guys I’d been starstruck. I’d been a fan of their music before I knew Emma was dating Maddox, so it was bound to happen. But you didn’t have to be around them long before you realized they were like everybody else.

“It’s been a long day,” he commented, leaning back in the chair and stretching out his legs.

“It’s been a long two days,” I corrected.

He chuckled and the shadows of the flames danced over his handsome face.

Across from us Maddox nuzzled Emma’s neck and she let out another giggle before kissing him on the lips. He grasped her hair in his fingers and murmured, “I love you.”

I let out a sigh.

Ezra’s head swiveled in my direction. “You’ll have that one day,” he declared.

“I hope so,” I replied, “I really hope so.”

He lifted his bottle of beer to his lips and drained what was left. He stood up, placing the empty bottle on the nearby table.

“I think it’s time for us to get to the real reason for this gathering.”

Emma and Maddox immediately broke apart, giving him their full attention.

My brows rose in interest and I set my beer on the ground beside my chair.

“I’ll be right back.” He looked at me when he said the words, warning me to stay in my seat.

I raised my hands in surrender and sat back.

He disappeared inside and I looked at Maddox across the fire. “What is he up to?” I asked, giving Maddox my best glare—daring him not to tell me the truth.

He chuckled. “You’ll know soon enough.”

He was right.

Ezra breezed out onto the deck with two boxes and down the steps over to where we sat around the fire.

When I saw the boxes I knew immediately what he was up to. He set them both in front of me and smiled down at me.

“You said you wanted to burn it,” he kicked the box where my wedding dress overflowed from the open flaps, “and I thought you might want to burn this too.” I looked at the other box and my suspicions were confirmed when I saw the sheets from the bed I had shared with Braden.

“You’re the best,” I told Ezra, meaning those words more than he could possibly understand.

He grinned a mega-watt smile at my words. “Ready?”

“Do you even need to ask?”

He chuckled and stepped back, giving me access to the fire.

Emma and Maddox both watched with a smile.

I grabbed the sheets first.

With a cry I launched them into the fire.

The flames licked the fabric, slowly burning away the floral material to a black crisp.

Emma let out a whoop and waved her hands in the air. Maddox said something to her that sounded a lot like, “You’re so adorable.”

“How do you feel?” Ezra asked, standing beside me. His arm brushed mine and my body hummed with familiarity.

“Unstoppable.” I answered with the first word that came to mind.

He smiled down at me, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans.

The four of us watched the fire eat away the sheets until they were barely recognizable.

I headed for the dress, struggling to get the massive thing into my arms.

Ezra grasped my elbow and I stopped what I was doing.

“Are you sure?” He asked, his eyes flicking from me to the dress.

I took a deep breath. “Yeah, I am. If I get married I won’t be doing it in this dress.”

“When,” he said.

“Excuse me?” I questioned, confused by his seemingly random response.

He smiled crookedly. “When you get married.”

“Right,” I sighed. That possibility seemed so far in the future now that I couldn’t even picture it happening.

Without a second of thought I launched the dress into the fire. Smoke licked the sky as the dress went from white to black.

How symbolic.

Ezra’s arm fell around my shoulders and I leaned against his body for support. His lips pressed against my forehead in a quick kiss and then the warmth of his lips was gone, replaced by his fingers as he wiped tears away from my cheeks.

“I’m okay.” I assured him before he could ask. “I really am.”

These tears weren’t of sadness. They were cathartic, clearing away all the negativity that had been clinging to my shoulders the last few years.

I felt it all drift away like a seed carried away by the wind.

I knew in that moment that I would be okay. Everything happened for a reason, and I needed this speed bump to teach me a lesson.

“Can we have s’mores now?” Emma asked, interrupting my thoughts.

Ezra’s arm dropped away from my shoulders and he grabbed the bags of stuff, passing them half.

I sat down once more and he set the items between us. I grabbed a marshmallow, sticking it on the skewer. I held it over the fire until it was a soft golden color. When I pulled it away from the fire Ezra already had a graham cracker with a block of Hershey’s chocolate on it waiting for me. He was always looking out for me, no matter the situation.

I bit into my s’more and the gooey marshmallow clung to my lips.

Ezra noticed and began to laugh.

“Don’t laugh at me.” I leveled him with a glare.

He shook his head. “You’re cute.”

I rolled my eyes, wiping the sticky residue off my lips. He was still laughing at me, so with narrowed eyes I reached out and wiped the goo on his arm.

He glanced down at his arm and his mouth parted slightly with disbelief.

“I can’t believe you just did that,” he muttered.

I grinned, bouncing in my seat like an excited child.

“You’re going to pay for that,” he warned.

I prepared to spring from my chair and run away, but he was faster.

His finger had dipped into the melted chocolate of his own s’more and he reached out, swiping his finger down my nose.

A gasp emitted from my lips. “Ezra!” I shrieked.

“Payback’s a bitch.” He grinned.

I shook my head. “You’re just mean.”

He chuckled, the sound warm and husky. “We both know that isn’t true.”

“Right now it is.” I stuck my tongue out at him.

He smiled at me, flicking a piece of hair away from his eyes.

Before I could retaliate Maddox called, “What about the fireworks?”

“Oh, right.” Ezra shoved the last of his s’more into his mouth and hurried over to where he’d left the boxes of fireworks. Maddox joined him and while they got everything set up I made myself another s’more.

Emma stood from her chair and made her way over to Ezra’s now vacant one. Her wild blonde hair blew around her shoulders from the evening breeze. She plopped into the chair, crossing her legs.

“Do you feel better now?” She asked.

I nodded, my eyes flitting to the fire where the remains of my wedding dress and those blasted sheets were barely distinguishable. “Much.”

“I’m sorry you have to go through this, but I’m also happy that he’s out of your life.”

My lips lifted with a smile. “You’re not the only one.”

She opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by a loud boom. We both turned to look at the same time as a small firework fizzled.

Maddox stood with his hands on his hips beside Ezra, both guys looking at the disappearing firework with a what-the-fuck expression.

“Well, that was anticlimactic,” Maddox muttered. “Should we try another?”

Emma and I both laughed as we watched the guys fiddle with another firework. It went off, burning out quickly like the last.

“Where did you get these?” Maddox asked, picking up one of the boxes and inspecting it from all angles.

Ezra shrugged. “It was a booth beside the gas station.”

Maddox huffed and threw the box on the ground. “That explains everything. The next time you decide to buy anything explosive call me, or Hayes. But not Mathias, he’s not to be trusted with fire.”

Emma and I both laughed again. It didn’t seem possible that I should feel this happy only a day after finding my fiancé in bed with another woman, but I did, and it was all thanks to the fact that I had the greatest friends in the whole world.

“So these are a bust?” Ezra pointed to the unopened fireworks.

Maddox nodded. “Sorry, bud.” He clapped Ezra roughly on the shoulder. “Those sparkers are doable, but rather boring.”

Ezra grunted and rolled his eyes, but picked up that box and opened it. He extended it in Maddox’s direction and he removed two of the sticks, one for himself and Emma. He ventured over to us and handed one to her.

Ezra grabbed two as well and gave me one. He held out a lighter and lit the tip of mine, then Emma’s, before lighting his own and Maddox’s.

I stood up from my chair and he eyed me, wondering what I was doing.

I waggled my brows and grinned. “Catch me.”

I took off running, swirling the sparkler through the air.

Ezra’s feet pounded behind me, urging me to run faster.

“Sadie!” He cried suddenly. “The lake!”

Oh, shit. I’d completely forgotten about the lake and it was dark enough that it completely blended in with the grass.

Before I could slow down my feet landed in the water, sinking into the mud.

I went down into the water, getting my whole body wet. The poor sparkler got lost in the water, extinguished by the wetness before it could meet its own fiery demise.

I came up gasping for air as his arm snaked around my waist.

Ezra pulled me against his now wet body and muttered, “You’re honestly the craziest person I’ve ever met.”

I laughed, clinging to his shoulders. “I’m not crazy, I’m alive.”

He shook his head, hauling me out of the water like he was afraid if he didn’t I wouldn’t get out on my own.

“Why’d you come in after me?” I asked, shivering when the cool night air touched my wet body.

He set me on the ground and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear that clung to my forehead.

“Because that’s what friends do,” he replied with a small shrug of his shoulders, “you jump, I jump. Always.”

My lips quirked into a smile. “I didn’t jump, though. I face-planted into the water.”

He laughed, hooking his thumbs into the back of his wet t-shirt and pulling it off. His lean chest was exposed with a smattering of dark hair trailing beneath his belly button. I tried not to notice how my heart pitter-pattered.

“Same difference,” he claimed, shaking his head so that water droplets flew from his hair.

“What are you guys doing?” Maddox called. It sounded like he had his hands cupped around his mouth.

Ezra scrubbed a hand over his heavily stubbled jaw. “I think the party is over.”

I shivered, my teeth chattering together. That water wasn’t exactly the warmest. “I think so too,” I agreed.

He tucked his t-shirt into the back pocket of his jeans and started back to the house.

It was easier to see going this way since the fire was in front of us.

When we approached, Emma rushed forward. “Are you okay? We heard a splash.”

“Just peachy,” I replied, wringing out my wet hair.

I shivered again and she said, “You need to get inside and take a hot shower. You’re going to get sick.”

“Yeah,” Ezra agreed, “go ahead. I’ve got to clean up down here first.”

“Are you sure?” It was his house and I felt bad for going first. He had to be as cold as I was.

He nodded. “Positive.”

I didn’t fight him on it, because I was freezing and a hot shower sounded like the best idea ever right now.

“Thanks for all of this,” I waved my hand around, “and thank you guys for being here.” I looked at Emma and Maddox then.

Maddox dipped his chin in acknowledgement.

Emma smiled sweetly. “There’s no where else we’d rather be.” She paused, biting her lip. “I’d hug you goodbye, but you’re soaking.”

I laughed. “We can save the hug for later.”

She nodded and watched me head up the porch steps. I hadn’t missed the flash of worry and speculation in her eyes. I knew she thought there was something more between Ezra and I, but she couldn’t be more wrong. We were friends and that’s all we ever would be.