Текст книги "Someone Else's Life"

Автор книги: Katie Dale

Соавторы: Katie Dale,Katie Dale
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Chapter Nine

pull the blanket up to my chin and shift position

on the sofa for the umpteenth time as

premature

firework explodes somewhere above us, the lights from

passing cars chasing across the room like searchlights,

dancing over the books and glinting blindingly on the

picture frames. pull the blanket over my head and close

my eyes.

can’t sleep. Kitty’s face keeps dancing in front of

me, taunting, tormenting. She feels so close now, so real

All the time at home she’d seemed so far away, so

distant—a dream. And now here am in her country—and

I’ve lost her! She could be anywhere, and I’m here, on

some sofa in the middle of New York—doing what? sigh

heavily. don’t even know anymore.

“Can’t sleep?” Andy rolls to face me from his

sleeping bag on the floor.

shake my head. couldn’t be more awake.

“Me neither. It must be jet lag, or anti–jet lag or

something!” He smiles. “Come on, let’s go out.”

“Now?”

“Why not?” He grins, wriggling out of his sleeping

bag. “It’s the city that never sleeps, remember?”

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The park is even more beautiful by night, glowing

with thousands of tiny lamps, but it does nothing to lift my

mood.

What am doing here?

million miles from home,

from everything familiar, lying to Andy, using Mum’s

money. My heart twists. For what? I’ll never find Kitty, not

now. This country’s so vast, so busy, so full—she could pass me on the street and I’d never even notice. Andy was

right. It was stupid. It was stupid idea to try to find her.

should never have come, never have left Nana, never lied

to Andy

And now I’ve got eight long empty months of

traveling ahead of me when all want to do is go home

and curl up in my own bed.

“It’s

beautiful,

isn’t

it?”

Andy

beams,

misinterpreting my sigh as he gazes over at gleaming ice

rink surrounded by glowing stars, the skyscrapers soaring

high above.

watch, hypnotized, as the skaters whiz by, some

laughing and giggling as they slip and slide perilously,

others gliding lazily by without care in the world. envy

them.

“Come on then, let’s get your skates on,” Andy says,

grabbing my hand and heading over to the queue for skate

hire.

“What?” stare at him. “I can’t! haven’t skated in

ages, not since—”

“You don’t forget.” His eyes linger on mine, and my

stomach flutters despite myself, remembering the last

121

time we went ice-skating

our first date.

eye the

shimmering surface uncertainly, my cheeks burning in the

frosty air, as memories flood my head. Then he smiles that

oh-so-familiar smile, his blue eyes sparkling as those

dimples overcome all my doubts.

“Come on, Bambi.” He grins, his arm strong and

warm around me as we step toward the slippery ice. “I

won’t let you fall.”

On the rink it’s impossible to think about anything

but staying upright—I cling to Andy as we slip and giggle

round the ice till my bum’s bruised from falling, and our

sides kill from laughing so much.

Suddenly Andy checks his watch and grabs my

hand.

“Quick! We’ve got to hurry!”

“Hurry where?”

laugh. “It’s the city that never

sleeps, remember!”

“You’ll see—come on!”

We’ve barely returned our skates before Andy’s

dragging me through the streets, racing down block after

block, until suddenly we round corner, and gasp.

have never seen so many people. The ocean of

bodies floods the streets, sprawling as far as can see,

crammed between the buildings, swaying together

harmoniously as music blasts from loudspeakers, their

blue Happy New Year top hats bobbing merrily as they

dance, hug, cheer and squeal with excitement beneath the

towering buildings ablaze with blinking billboards—

twinkling and chasing and dazzling all different colors,

122

shapes and pictures, beside the enormous glowing

Broadway placards. The atmosphere is electric.

“Just in time.” Andy grins, checking his watch and

weaving us deeper into the throng.

Suddenly the music stops and the whole crowd

begins to chant: “Fifty-nine! Fifty-eight! Fifty-seven! Fifty-

six!”

“We couldn’t miss the ball drop!” Andy laughs,

pointing, as there, high above the brightest building,

glowing globe twinkles like

star, sparkling

million

different colors and patterns as it slowly sinks toward an

enormous ticking countdown.

“Ten! Nine! Eight!” My skin tingles and my heart

beats fast as clutch Andy’s hand.

“Seven! Six!” He squeezes my hand and grins at me.

“Five! Four! Three! Two! One!”

The sky explodes in fireworks—bursting showers

of blinding blue, red, green, gold—colorful confetti

streaming down all around as the crowd goes crazy, the

cheers deafening as everyone leaps up and down, hugging

each other, and kissing to the strains of “Auld Lang Syne.”

“Happy New Year!” complete stranger grabs me in

bear hug and laugh as

pink-haired woman lands

smacker on Andy’s cheek. He grins at me as the confetti

rains between us.

Suddenly “New York, New York” bursts on, and

shriek as Andy grabs me and starts dancing, singing at the

top of his lungs. giggle as he twirls me round, giddy with

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the buzzing atmosphere, the infectious excitement, the

hope.

“Happy New Year.” Andy grins, his breath warm on

my face as he pulls me close, my skin tingling at his touch.

brand– new year …

Suddenly all the strain and stress of the past year—

with Mum, with Sarah and Kitty—seem far, far away. The

other side of the world. Another life.

can find Kitty

anytime, after all. There’s no hurry.

But here

am now in incredible, vibrant, spine-

tingling New York City on the brink of dazzling new year and thrilling adventure. With Andy. Andy, who’s gazing

at me the same way he used to so long ago.

“Happy New Year.”

beam into those familiar

sparkling blue eyes.

And though we’re surrounded by

million rowdy

strangers, in the busiest city in the country, on the loudest,

craziest night of the year, suddenly we’re the only two

people in the world.

The feeling lasts all week, as together we hurtle

round the city, exploring everything it has to offer—we

shop at Bloomingdale’s and walk across the Brooklyn

Bridge; have breakfast outside Tiffany’s and dinner on

Fifth Avenue; see Wicked on Broadway and the Knicks at Madison Square Garden; visit art museums and history

museums and science museums, sending postcards from

everywhere we go—until finally, on our last night in New

York, there’s only one place we haven’t been.

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My stomach flips as we travel up and up and up—

until eventually the doors open and race outside into the

fresh night air, Andy split second behind me. Then—just

as I’m about to reach the edge—he grabs my waist and

spins me round.

“I win!” he cries, one arm tight around me as he

seizes the rail triumphantly.

“Cheat!” protest, breathless and giggling. Then my

jaw drops. There it is, the whole of New York glittering

below us, beautiful and boundless. breathe it in, feeling

dizzy and light-headed and on top of the world. It’s the

perfect end to the perfect week, like all those movies that

have ended here– Sleepless in Seattle and Nana’s favorite Cary Grant film, An Affair to Remember

“I feel like Meg Ryan,” whisper, staring down at it

all, sparkling in the dark.

“Not Naomi Watts?” Andy asks, his eyes twinkling.

“In King Kong?” He lifts me up as

shriek, my giggles

piercing the night air.

“You great gorilla,” tease, but he stops my mouth

with the gentlest, softest kiss.

Somewhere clock chimes.

“Happy birthday,” Andy whispers, his eyes dancing

as he pulls out black velvet box.

stare at him, surprised. “It’s not till tomorrow,

wally.”

“Ah.” He grins. “But at home it is tomorrow.”

count the bells. Seven p.m.

smile. Midnight at

home. He’s right.

125

Carefully

open the box, to reveal an exquisite

garnet birthstone necklace I’d admired in little boutique

in the Village. gasp. “Andy!”

“Happy birthday, Rosie.” He beams, pulling me

closer and looping it deftly round my neck, his eyes

shining. “I love you.” He strokes my face, looking deep into

my eyes. “I never stopped loving you.”

stare at him, my heart full, my insides glowing.

can’t believe my life has changed so quickly—so

dramatically. Just

couple of weeks ago everything

seemed so bleak, so empty

yet here am now, my future

glittering with excitement, with promise, with Andy—my

Andy—the only guy I’ve ever loved—on top of the world.

Literally.

“I love you too,” whisper. “I’ve always loved you.”

He kisses me again, his lips soft, his body warm

against mine, my head spinning somewhere high in the

stars above as finally we pick up where we left off on that

night so long ago, in the city that never sleeps

The Empire State Building winks back at me in the

sunlight as

gaze out of our fiftieth-story hotel room

window, the city buzzing and bustling far below, as

perfect as I’ve always dreamed.

There’s so much magic here, so much history—the

Empire State Building, the Brooklyn Bridge, the aching

hole where the Twin Towers once stood. It’s incredible—

126

this city with all its scars and heartache doesn’t dwell,

doesn’t wallow, doesn’t sleep, even. It’s too busy thriving,

rushing and bustling into the soaring hopes and

excitement of the future, and feel swept up in its spell—

like little girl again.

But I’m not.

tilt my hand and the light twinkles on the ring as it

winks back at me.

“Marry me,” he’d said, dropping to one knee right in

the middle of Central Park, his eyes sparkling in the

sunshine. “I love you. Marry me?”

can barely believe it, even now. grin down at the

ring, glittering like promise on my finger.

promise of

love, of future so bright that all the worries of my past

fade away

close my eyes.

wish you could see this, baby, wish you were here

now– wish …

take deep breath and close my eyes tight, making

secret, silent wish as blow out the candles.

look down at the cake, the scent of wax drifting on

the clearing smoke, hoping against hope that my wish will

come true.

Happy birthday, Holly

127

Chapter Ten

open my eyes, and for

moment have no idea

where

am, or why

feel so incredibly, inexplicably

happy. try to remember what was dreaming about as

my eyes sweep around the unfamiliar bedroom, over the

wide-screen TV and plush red carpet, to huge window.

Outside, the skyscrapers glitter in the morning sun, and

the Empire State Building winks back at me.

Suddenly, remember.

My face explodes in smile, and quickly roll over.

“Good morning.” Andy grins, his eyes sparkling in

the sunlight, his blond hair crumpled sexily against his

pillow. “How are you this morning?”

beam at him. “I’m wonderful.”

“I agree,” he whispers, his eyes dancing as he

brushes my hair from my face. “Completely and utterly.”

My heart flutters as his hand glides slowly down to

my waist, and with one smooth movement he pulls me

closer, my entire body tingling as his smooth skin meets

mine.

“Happy birthday.” He kisses me gently, his mouth

hot against mine, leaving me breathless. “So the hotel was

good idea?”

128

“The best.” nuzzle closer. “Though can’t say got

very good night’s sleep.”

“No, me either,” Andy agrees, his fingers trailing up

my back and tangling in my hair. “Strange, that.”

“Mmm. Maybe it was the pillows?”

He kisses my neck. “Or the mattress?”

“Or the linen?” smooth my hands over his back.

“Hmm. Perhaps we should complain?”

“Oh, I’m not complaining.” smile, hooking my leg

over his.

“No?”

“Besides, maybe we haven’t given them

proper

chance …”

“Excellent point.” He grins. “You think we need to

do more research?”

shrug. “It would only be fair …”

squeal as he rolls me underneath him, onto the

smoothest bed linen, the softest mattress and the fluffiest

pillows I’ve ever felt.

Nope, it wasn’t dream

“Washington, here we come!” Andy grins, squeezing

my hand as we head into the station, Casey

few steps

ahead of us. “No more yellow cabs, no more Central Park,

no more Empire State Building …”

“Aw …” pout.

“But,” he says quickly, squeezing me tight, “in

Washington they have the Lincoln Memorial, the Pentagon

and the White House!”

“Wow!” grin.

129

“And they have the Smithsonian—the largest

museum complex in the world!”

“Much better!” smile up at him. Actually, couldn’t

give

monkey’s where we go as long as we’re together.

Just the two of us, back how we used to be. Better. beam,

thinking about the hotel. Me and Andy against the world,

finally traveling the world—just as we always planned.

grin. can’t think of better way to spend my birthday.

Nana couldn’t believe I’d texted her from the top of

the Empire State Building—“You should have gone on

Valentine’s Day!” she chided when

called her this

morning. “You might have met Cary Grant!”

squeeze Andy’s hand. Who needs Cary Grant?

Andy winks. “So long, New York. No more silly

statues and pitiful little buildings …”

“No more tiny breakfasts and early nights …,” join

in, grinning.

Andy laughs. “No more posters for tacky Broadway

plays, no more smelly cabs—hey!” Andy yelps as Casey

throws him over his shoulder and runs off round the

station, Andy’s legs flailing in the air.

laugh at the two of them goofing around, and my

eyes flick over the poster– Midsummer Night’s Dream—

an awful version, by the looks of it. The guy playing

Oberon looks like drug addict, and the woman—

freeze. It can’t be.

Kitty’s green eyes meet mine as

stare at her,

unable to believe it

It’s her. Here. In New York

My

130

heart pounds as scan the poster—the play’s been on all

week and finishes tonight. She’s been here all week …

And now we’re leaving …

‘Starring For Richer, For Poorer’s Kitty Clare,’

Casey reads, shuddering. “Thank God Lola didn’t hear

about this—she’s her favorite!” He grins, grabbing me in

hug. “Good to meet ya, Rosie.”

“Oh—yes—yes, you too.”

We wave goodbye and

follow Andy numbly

toward the ticket barriers.

How is this possible? How could this happen? feel dizzy, sick.

“Andy …”

“Hmm?” he mumbles, checking the screens.

“Platform three.”

“Andy.” stop dead. “I—can’t do this. can’t leave

New York.”

He grins. “It’s been fantastic, hasn’t it?” He kisses

my nose. “But wait till you see everywhere else!”

“No.”

pull on his hand, stopping him. “No, you

don’t understand.…”

He frowns. “What?”

“Andy.” look at him sadly. “I can’t come with you.

Not now.”

“What?” He looks at me, his blue eyes filled with

confusion. “But—why?”

sigh. How can tell him?

“Rosie, what is it?”

“I …” take deep breath, trying to find the words.

131

“Is it us?” he asks seriously, looking deep into my

eyes. “It’s last night, isn’t it? We shouldn’t’ve—I

shouldn’t’ve—it was too much, too soon. I’m so sorry, I—”

“No, no—it’s not that at all!”

kiss him quickly.

“You’re amazing—last night was amazing.” squeeze his

hands. “So was this morning.”

“Then what is it?” Andy’s eyes flick to the clock.

“Can’t we talk about this on the train? We haven’t got long,

Rose.”

“I know, but—”

“The seven– oh– five Vermonter to Washington, D.C., isboarding at platform three”

man announces over the

intercom.

look at Andy. “You’d better go.”

sigh, turning

away.

“Rosie!” He grabs my handbag strap and it snaps,

the contents spilling everywhere.

“Oh God, I’m sorry.” He starts gathering up my

things.

“You’d better go,” say again, scooping my bag up

off the floor. “You’ll miss your train.”

“I’m not going without you.”

“I can’t, Andy—”

“Rose, no—you’re not doing this to me again.” He

holds my gaze determinedly. “What is it? What’s wrong?

Tell me.”

“It’s …” My eyes fall on the photo of Kitty, which has

fallen out of my bag. sigh, then hand it to him.

132

“I don’t understand,” he says. “Who’s Kitty Clare?

An actress?”

nod, swallowing painfully. “She’s Katharine

Sinclare.”

“Katharine who?” Andy stares at me, then at the

photo. “I don’t under—” His expression changes.

“It’s her, Andy, she’s here—”

“Don’t.” Andy interrupts, shakes his head. He stares

at the photo, his features tense. “This

this is why you

came?” He looks at me hard. “Of course it is!” He turns

away angrily. “God, how stupid am I?!”

grab his hand. “You’re not stupid!”

“Yes

am!” He pulls his hand away roughly. “I

thought you—I thought we …” His jaw tightens. “Never

mind what thought. was wrong. Obviously.” He turns

away.

“Andy, wait!”

“I’ve got train to catch.”

“Andy!”

“Goodbye, Rosie.

hope you find what you’re

looking for.”

“Andy, please—”

He marches through the ticket barrier.

“Andy!”

watch him slowly disappear into the crowd, my

insides ripping in two—desperate to run after him, to be

with him, to explain

but somehow frozen to the spot.

have to do this

tell myself, blinking fiercely as

finally force myself to turn away, my chest tight. It’s what 133

came here for– the reason

came with him in the first

place

So why does it hurt so much?

It takes me ages to find the theater. It’s not on the

main Broadway strip at all, but tucked down little side

street, opposite McDonald’s. cross my fingers and rush

up to the box office, breathing sigh of relief as finally

slide into my seat beside

group of teenagers. They

chatter and giggle, passing around photos of Kitty, while

young couple in front share

program, their heads bent

close together as they whisper and kiss.

My stomach tightens painfully and

look away,

blinking quickly as the lights dim and the curtain begins to

rise.

The first few scenes are

blur.

sit impatiently

through courtly disputes and lovers’ squabbles, waiting

for her to appear. And then, suddenly, there she is—a

whirl of wispy chiffon, surrounded by glittering fairies—

and everything else fades away.

It’s her. It’s really her. There, live onstage in front of

me, just meters away. Kitty Clare—Katharine Sinclare—

my mother—gliding around the stage, her dark hair

gleaming in the spotlight, her melodious voice ringing

round the auditorium. watch, mesmerized, drinking in

every precious moment, hooked on her every move, every

word, every emotion—her tears, smiles, frowns—etching

her into my mind.

Finally, the curtain drops, and still can’t breathe.

push my way out of the theater, down the stairs, through

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the foyer and out into the rain, my rucksack bulky on my

shoulders as

weave clumsily through the dark busy

street, heading for the stage door. There’s

crowd

gathered already, and stand on tiptoe, craning my neck,

trying to get better view.

Suddenly,

thousand flashes go off as the stage

door opens—and there she is!

burly bodyguard holds an umbrella over her sleek

black bob as, beaming, she waves at the crowd.

The girls go crazy, squealing and jumping and

pushing, thrusting photos toward her, begging for

autographs.

“Hello, everybody!” Kitty calls in

crisp English

accent. “Thank you all so much for coming! I’ll miss you,

New York!” She blows kiss.

“We’ll miss you, Kitty!”

girl screams behind me.

“Kitty, we love you!”

Kitty smiles and waves at her, catching my eye for

just an instant. My heart stops. “Kitt—”

“Kitty!” the crowd screams as she starts down the

steps, everyone pushing and shoving, trying to get closer

to her.

“Kitty!” cry, watching her weave past, lost in the

crowd. “Kitty!”

She smiles and walks straight past me to waiting

limousine. “Thank you, thank you all!” she calls with

little wave. “And goodnight!”

“Kitty!” The crowd swarms toward the limousine.

“Kitty!” shout. “No! Kitty, wait!”

135

The car door slams shut.

push through the throng and grab the bodyguard’s

sleeve. “Please!” beg. “I need to talk to her! I’m—”

“Her biggest fan, yeah, know,” he says, shrugging

me off and climbing into the front seat.

“No! I’m

Hey!” Someone pulls me backward as the

crowd surges forward.

“I’m—I’m her daughter …,”

mutter miserably as

the car glides away, disappearing into the stream of traffic

flowing into the night. watch it helplessly, the rain falling

in big wet heavy drops, until finally I’m the only one left.

slump onto the curb.

can’t believe actually found her—she was close

enough to touch—but now she’s gone. stabbing pain hits

my chest, and hug my knees hard.

lost her.

taxi pulls up and beeps at me, but

shake my

head.

Where would go? can’t go back to Casey’s, can’t

go to Washington with Andy.

Andy

close my eyes and the tears spill over, stinging my

throat. Just hours ago was on top of the world, so happy.

But

threw it all away—on

fantasy,

dream.

stare

miserably at the photograph of Kitty, spattered and

smudged by the falling rain. found her—her fame made

her easy to find—but it’s made her impossible to reach

too. I’ll never get near her. Not now. She’s gone.

136

The taxi beeps again and shake my head harder,

rubbing my eyes. It beeps again and stand up, annoyed.

The taxi door opens and guy steps out.

glance at him briefly, then look back in disbelief as

he walks toward me, hands deep in his pockets.

“Hey,” Andy says. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“She’s staying at the Ritz!” Lola turns in her seat. “I

read it in TV Extra! This is so exciting!” she gushes. “Rosie, why didn’t you tell us your mom was Kitty Clare?”

look at Andy, my head still reeling. He looks away.

Lola glances at Andy, then me, then turns and closes

the partition.

We drive in silence for while, the city lights sliding

over the space between us.

“Andy, I—”

“Was any of it real?” He interrupts quietly, staring

at his lap. “Was last night—has anything this week

actually been real? Or was it all just

part of some plan,

keeping me sweet, biding your time till you found her?”

“No!” tell him urgently. “No, Andy, it was all real—

all of it—it’s been the best week of my life!”

He doesn’t look up.

hesitate. “I mean, yes, coming to America seemed

like the perfect way to find Kitty, but everything that’s

happened since …” look at him earnestly, desperate to

hold him, kiss him– show him. “Andy, it’s been more than ever hoped for!”

He finally looks up, his eyes uncertain.

137

“She wasn’t even meant to be in New York—I

thought she was in L.A., that I’d have ages to find the right

time to tell you, to explain. But then

saw the poster

and …” trail off. “She’s my mum Andy, and she was so

close. If hadn’t tried if …” sigh. “I’m so sorry.”

He nods silently.

“I thought you’d got on the train,” say gently.

“I did,” he admits. “I was sitting there in the carriage

by myself, consumed with déjà vu—I couldn’t believe

you’d bailed on me again hidden things from me, lied to me.”

close my eyes.

He sighs. “And then remembered why you did it

last time. That you had pretty good reason.”

look at him. “Andy.”

“And while I’m not crazy about being used, or lied

to, am crazy about you, Rosie Kenning.” He squeezes my

hand and my eyes fill. “And want to be there for you—

you can trust me, you know.”

nod. “I know.”

He sighs. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know.” shrug miserably. “You were just so

down on the whole idea. thought you’d be mad at me,

spoil it all, and just wanted to find her, to see her.” sigh and stare at my lap, my throat swelling. “But it didn’t

work, did it? It’s over.”

Andy looks at me for

moment, then shakes his

head. “Nope, not good enough, I’m afraid.”

look at him. “What?”

138

“Rosie, if you’ve come all this way to find her—if it

really means that much to you—you’re not going to

bloody well give up now.”

“But—it’s impossible, I’ll never get anywhere near

her. You weren’t there—she’s got all this security—”

“Well.” Andy winks. “That’s where the master plan

comes in.”

“Sweetheart.” He checks his watch for the millionth

time. “Are you nearly ready? We’re gonna miss it

completely if we don’t leave soon!”

“My darling fiancé.”

smile, the word tingling

deliciously on my tongue. “We’ve got heaps of time. You go

get us cab, just want to change.”

pull my dress over my head and his arms are

instantly around my waist.

“Don’t ever change.” He beams, his eyes deep in

mine. “You’re so beautiful, have ever told you that?”

laugh. “Once or twice.”

“You look”—he kisses my neck, my shoulder—“like

movie star.”

thrill tingles down my spine.

“Babe …,” mumble. “Cab?”

“But you said we’ve got heaps of time!” he

complains, kissing my arm, my ring finger.

“We have.” smile. “We’ve got the rest of our lives.”

139

“The rest of our lives.” He beams at me. “Just you

and me.”

140