Текст книги "Someone Else's Life"

Автор книги: Katie Dale

Соавторы: Katie Dale,Katie Dale
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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

Tomato? Mushroom? Minestrone?”

“Anything as long as it’s hot.” smile.

“Great. The same for Andy?”

Shit. Andy.

285

Holly

ride on autopilot, just concentrating on breathing,

on pedaling, the wind streaming through my hair, Rosie’s

words washing in and out of my mind like the tide.

Chorea

Mood swings

Disabled

Nursing home

Hereditary

Fatal

cycle harder, trying to outpace them, to blot them

out as race through the dark dappled shadows of the

forest. But they’re still there. They always will be.

break out of the trees and there they are, the

endless undulating desert of dunes, beautiful and

terrifying, windswept and barren, and as empty and bleak

as my future.

Maybe this is my punishment for not being

ambitious, for not being academic, for wasting my life on

sports and sculptures and having no real aspirations or

goals. You leave your future empty, and something’s

bound to come along to fill it up

But did have dreams. blink against the wind, the

tears.

had

hopes.

Maybe

not

academically,

286

vocationally

but

I’m

engaged—that

must

mean

something?

sail down one dune and struggle up another, lost

in the sea of sand. But what now? What’ll happen to me? To

Josh? To our life together?

To our baby

skid to

stop, throw down my bike and collapse

onto the cool silky sand, hugging my knees as watch the

dying sun drown in the endless ocean.

It’ll be okay,

tell myself, forcing myself to take

deep breaths. It’ll be all right. Josh loves me– he

promised– till death do us part …

However long that’ll be.

blink quickly, reaching into my pocket for my cell

phone; turn it on.

Seven missed calls All Josh. press Redial, then hold

my breath.

It rings for few seconds, then goes to voice mail.

“Josh, please call.”

hesitate, unsure what to say

next, the words need to say playing dangerously on my

lips. close my eyes, take deep breath, but can’t—can’t

tell him. Not over the phone.

“I love you,” sigh, the words snatched away on the

wind as hang up quickly, swallowing hard, trying to stifle

the questions, the fear rising in my chest.

287

Do you love me?

Did you mean it when you said you’d always love me,

no matter what?

Even if might have Huntington’s disease?

close my eyes.

And I’m pregnant

288

Rosie

check Andy’s text again as

hurry up the hill

toward the glowing neon-pink café, its rainbow flag

fluttering proudly beside the Stars and Stripes.

Provincetown keeps surprising me with its mix of old-

world charm—clapboard houses, traditional churches and

tributes to the Pilgrims—nestled harmoniously next to

brightly graffitied shops, weird sculptures, vibrant art

galleries and liberal gay scene.

double-check my phone, making sure there’re no

new messages. He’s sent four since saw him—the first

from another café, then an art gallery, then the library and

the last from right here.

push open the glass door,

sending

little bell jangling merrily as scour the white

wicker tables, beanbags and hammocks lit by festival of

colorful paper lanterns.

“I canceled the taxi.”

turn to see Andy sitting alone at table beneath

fluffy pink lamp, his rucksack slumped beside him.

“There you are!”

smile, walking over. “I wasn’t

sure I’d got the right place—this doesn’t really seem like

your scene.”

He shrugs. “It’s dry, it’s open. Nearly everywhere

else shut at five.”

289

“I’m sorry,” say, sliding into chair. “I lost track of

time. Holly wanted to talk—about everything. It helped,

think.”

“That’s good.” He smiles tiredly.

“Yeah, yeah it is.” nod. “Anything can do to make

this better, right?”

“Right.” He nods, stroking my hand. “So take it you

don’t want to leave, then?”

“No.” shake my head. “No, they need me here.”

He nods. “They’re your family.”

“They are.”

beam, warmth flooding through me.

“And

think

might actually be able to do some good

now—help Holly through this—salvage something from

this whole mess.”

“That’s great, Rose.” Andy squeezes my hand.

“Really great.”

“It is.”

smile, weary with relief. “Anyway, we’d

better get back, coz Jack’s making us soup—I hope you’re

hungry!”

stand up but Andy doesn’t move.

“Andy?”

“Yeah.” He hesitates. “Yeah

think might still go

back to the and B.”

“Why?” stare at him. “I told you, we can stay.”

“You can stay,” he tells me. “You can stay, Rose, and

you should. This is what you came for—this is your family,

your place.” He sighs. “But I’m just getting in the way.”

290

“You’re not,”

insist, sitting back down and

grabbing his hand. “Andy,

couldn’t have done this

without you.”

“But now you have,” he says softly. “You’re here.

You’ve told them. You’re helping Holly.” He smiles. “But

this is difficult situation, Rose—it’s really fragile, and my

being here

it’s not helping.”

“It’s helping me!” protest. “I need you, Andy. love

you. You’re the only one who knows me, really knows me.

Don’t leave me on my own.”

“I’ve been on my own all day.”

“I know,” say. “I know, and I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay—I understand.” He sighs. “And it would

be different if thought you actually needed me, Rose, or

even if could help somehow. But I’m not family, can’t

help, and you have to admit it’s easier to talk to Holly

when I’m not there.”

open my mouth to protest, then look away

miserably.

“She doesn’t need an audience, Rosie—it’s hard

enough already. It’s easier if make myself scarce while

you all work through this

and that would be fine if we

were still in New York—in any city, really—but this

town

most of it’s closed for the winter, I’ve been

everywhere else and the only places open late are bars

can’t even go in because I’m not twenty-one!”

“I’m sorry.” squeeze his hand desperately.

“Don’t be!” Andy sighs. “You need to do this, you

need to give all your time and energy to Holly—without

291

worrying about me. This is difficult enough for everyone

without me complicating things.” He strokes my hair away

from my face. “How about just give you guys some space,

some time alone together as family to work things out?

I’ll go on down to Washington, stay with my family—”

“No!” protest vehemently.

“Rosie, it’s just

few hours away, there’s

direct

train to Boston—I can be back in no time if you need me.”

He smooths my frown lines. “You’re not really interested

in all those stuffy monuments anyway, are you? And you’ll

escape my Aunt Patty’s inquisition—she can be pretty

brutal when it comes to her boys—ask Lola.” He grins, his

eyes softening as he gazes into mine, and my heart falters.

“Then I’ll come back, or you can come and join me, and

we’ll go on traveling together when …” He trails off.

“… whenever.”

stare at him miserably. When will that be? In

week?

month? He’s right, it’s not fair to keep him here

twiddling his thumbs indefinitely, and he wouldn’t be far

away, but

My heart twists. But I’d miss him so much.

“No,” decide. “No, just give me few more days—

I’ll make this work,

promise. Tomorrow—tomorrow

we’ll spend the whole day together—just us,”

say

desperately. “I’ll make up for leaving you alone today.”

He sighs.

“We’ll—we’ll go whale watching, okay?” clutch his

hands. “Second-time lucky? You can’t leave without seeing

any whales!”

“Rosie …”

292

“I want to be with you.”

He sighs heavily. “And what about Jack? And Holly?”

hesitate.

“You see?” he says sadly. “It’s impossible.”

“It’s not.”

shake my head stubbornly. “It’s not

impossible—I love you …” thread my arms around him,

knotting him to me as he runs his thumb gently over my

bottom lip, his gaze troubled.

“So, what do you say?” search his eyes hopefully.

“Tomorrow? Just the two of us?”

“Scout’s honor?” He raises an eyebrow. “Just you

and me?”

“Dib dib dob,”

say solemnly. “Just you and

me

and whole load of whales.”

“Well,” he sighs, pulling me closer and kissing me. “I

suppose one more night can’t hurt.”

293

Holly

stare at my cell phone as the first morning rays

peep through my window.

It’s 9:31 a.m.

feel like I’ve been lying here for days, watching the

minutes drag slowly, silently by. Just lying. Just breathing.

Too weary to move, too tired for tears.

pick up my phone and check it’s not on mute.

It’s not.

Full signal. Full battery. No missed calls. No texts—

except from Melissa, who’s left

dozen impatient

messages demanding to know why wasn’t at school, why

I’m not answering my phone, begging me to call her to fill

her in on all the exciting news about my awesome new

family and my amazing new mom

Yeah,

think. My amazing new dead mom, who’s

probably given me fatal disease

Awesome

try Josh again, but when he still doesn’t answer,

don’t leave message. I’ve already left five voice mails—

and ten texts.

Where are you, Josh?

294

Maybe he’s lost his phone? Maybe it’s been stolen?

Maybe it’s charging—plugged into his dorm-room wall

while he’s been out

all night long

Come on, Holls

tell myself. Josh loves you– you’re

engaged! What more reassurance do you need?

stare at my ring, its plastic gem glowing

reassuringly.

But that was before

glance at the computer screen, then close my eyes,

which are red and sore from reading and surfing and

searching and crying all night as

watch my future

showcased on YouTube.

9:32 a.m.

sigh and reach for my glass of water. Empty.

Figures.

weigh my options dully. Die of thirst or get up and

face the world. Pretty even.

take deep breath, then heave myself out of bed,

the blood rushing to my head as my feet hit the floor, the

room spinning mercilessly. Another deep breath and

open the door.

Nothing happens.

No tornado transports me to Oz, no snowy forest

appears beyond the doorway, no scenes of destruction

and desolation. Just the landing and the stairs and the

sound of Megan clattering in the kitchen.

The world hasn’t changed at all, hasn’t stopped

turning, hasn’t stood still.

295

So why do feel like I’m falling so fast right through

its center?

make it safely down the stairs and wander slowly

into the living room to find Ben watching cartoons.

“Hey, Benji,” say, kissing his head as sink down

beside him.

“Hey,” he replies, flopping onto my lap and grinning

up at me.

My heart lifts. “Who’s winning, Tom or Jerry?” ask,

brushing his bangs from his sparkling eyes.

“Jerry,” Ben giggles, pointing. “Duh!”

Duh smile, my fingers curling absently in his soft

hair. Ben’s watching cartoons, Jerry’s eluding Tom.

Nothing has changed.

close my eyes and let the loud

cartoon music fade away.

Nothing has changed

loud knocking sound wakes me before realize

I’m asleep.

glance at Ben, still glued to the TV screen. Maybe

imagined it.

Another knock and hear Megan rush to open the

front door.

“Oh, hello.”

woman’s crisp English accent floats

through the doorway, “I wonder if you could help me, I’m

looking for Jack? Jack Woods?”

frown at the strange voice—she sounds oddly

familiar, yet somehow can’t place her. Who do know

from England? Besides Hurricane Rosie.

296

peer over the back of the sofa through the half-

open living room door, but can only see Megan.

“Oh! Right. Please come in,” she says, brushing her

frazzled hair out of her eyes, leaving streak of soap suds

across her forehead. She wipes her hands on dishcloth.

“Can get you cup of tea? Coffee?”

“Lovely.”

Megan steps aside, blocking my view as the woman

enters, her heels clicking down the corridor to the kitchen.

Burning with curiosity, slide Ben gently onto the

sofa and stand up.

Then see it.

There, on the street outside my house, is limo.

bona fide stretch limo.

stare at it gleaming by the

sidewalk, then pinch myself. This has to be dream.

Dazed, creep down the corridor and peek into the

kitchen.

wasn’t dreaming.

The

woman

is

gorgeous.

Like,

movie-star

gorgeous—about thirty, but just so glamorous, her

bobbed black hair gleaming in the morning sunshine, her

makeup flawless, her tailored cream dress clinging

immaculately to her curves. She’s stunning. And strangely

familiar

“Black coffee, no sugar.” She beams at Megan.

“Thank you so much.”

“Same, thanks,” another woman says.

blink—I hadn’t even noticed her. She’s

little

older, with pointy features,

tight blond bun and an

297

oversized Gucci bag. She reminds me of Meryl Streep in

The Devil Wears Prada—only with Gucci.

“Jack should be here any minute.” Megan smiles

nervously, the best cups and saucers clattering in her

hands. “I’m Megan, by the way.”

The movie star steps toward her smoothly, hand

outstretched.

“Lovely to meet you, Megan. I’m Kitty.”

“Nice to meet you,” Megan says, wiping her hand

quickly on her skirt and shaking Kitty’s hand. “Sorry, you

look so familiar, have we met bef—” Suddenly her eyes

pop. “Oh, my God!” she gasps. “You’re Kitty Clare!”

Kitty Clare! Oh, my God! My heart beats quickly. I’m

such an idiot—of course that’s who she is—she’s on our TV every single week– For Richer, For Poorer Dad’s favorite sitcom! Oh, my God, Melissa will totally flip when

tell her! Kitty Clare is in my house! In my kitchen! And

I’m in my hippo pj’s!

“I love your work!” Megan gushes excitedly, her

curls frizzier than ever. “That episode where you and

Mitch got stuck in the elevator—hilarious!”

Kitty smiles graciously.

“And then when the firefighter finally arrived and

you said—”

“Megan?” Dad calls, bursting in through the back

door. “Megan, have you seen my—” He stops midstride.

“Katharine!”

frown, confused, as he stares at Kitty Clare.

Katharine?

298

“Actually

it’s Kitty now.” She smiles,

hint of

nervousness in her eyes as she stands up to face Dad,

turning her back to me. “Hello, Jack. It’s been long time.”

watch as they stare at each other, my head

whirling. What’s going on? How does Dad know Kitty Clare?

And why’d he call her

My heart stops.

“Katharine?”

Dad spins around, horrified. “Sweetheart!”

back away from the doorway as Kitty begins to

turn, just as Rosie strolls down the stairs.

“Morning!” She smiles at me, walking obliviously

into the kitchen.

“Rosie—” Dad starts urgently.

“Rosie!” Kitty cries, swooping toward her. “Oh,

Rosie, darling, thank God!”

freeze, paralyzed, as she engulfs Rosie in

tight

embrace.

It’s her. Katharine– Kitty. Kitty Clare. The mother

who never wanted me

stare at her as she drowns Rosie with affection,

sick feeling growing in my stomach.

The mother who never wanted me

299

Rosie

stare at her, this woman who’s squeezing me as if

her life depends on it. It’s Kitty—it’s really Kitty, and

yet

need to pinch myself.

“Oh, Rosie,” she whispers, stroking my hair. “I’m not

too late, thank goodness!”

Behind her, footsteps pound quickly up the stairs.

Oh, God, Holly Helplessly,

watch her go, Kitty’s

arms tight around me.

“Sweetheart, wait!” Jack moves to chase after her,

then glances back at me. “I—I’ll be right back.” He sprints

upstairs as Megan stares at Kitty, her face strange shade

of gray.

“I, um …” She falters. “I have to—Ben needs—”

Head bowed, she hurries from the room.

Kitty watches them go, then turns to me, my heart

beating wildly as try to take it all in.

“Rosie, sweetie.”

“I—I don’t understand …”

stare at her, still not

quite able to believe she’s here. “What are you doing

here?”

“Rosie—I

just wanted to see you– had to see

you, …” She glances quickly at her companion. “Why

don’t we sit down?”

300

She pulls out chair, but don’t sit.

“Rosie, please

let me explain, apologize

You’re

my daughter my—” She clutches my hand, tears springing in her eyes. “My little girl …”

My chest tightens as my own eyes prickle painfully.

“But

but when came to see you, you said—”

“Oh, please, don’t!” she protests, her expression

pained. “Please don’t remind me of what said then—how

behaved.” She sinks miserably into

chair. “I behaved

abominably, Rosie. And I’m so, so sorry.” She sighs,

shaking her head. “I just—I have to be so careful. People

come up to me all the time with outlandish stories,

preposterous claims, blackmail …”

“I wasn’t trying to blackmail you!”

“I know!” she gushes, squeezing my hands. “Oh,

Rosie,

know,

just—I never expected

never

dreamed

after so many years …” She blinks quickly. “I

hadn’t seen my daughter in eighteen years never thought I’d see you again …” She trails off, her eyes lingering on

mine, filling with tears.

sit down, numbly. “Aren’t you meant to be in Las

Vegas?”

“Yes.” She nods. “Yes, am. I’m meant to be shooting

movie there. was there, but after you left—”

“After you kicked me out,” correct her.

Her perfect features crumple in pain as she nods,

tears streaking her face.

“Rosie, can’t eat, haven’t slept

just keep going

over and over it in my head. My daughter found me—after 301

eighteen years you found me!—and instead of welcoming

you with open arms, …” She shakes her head wretchedly.

“I will never forgive myself, Rosie. And won’t blame you if you tell me to leave—if you never want to see me again …”

She looks at me desperately. “But had to come, had to

find you

had to try—I wouldn’t have been able to live

with myself if didn’t at least try—you’re my daughter …”

My heart twists, her words echoing my own in New

York.

“That’s why I’m here. That’s why came all this way,

why I’m in trouble with my director on the first day of

shooting my first big movie—because there’s nowhere on

this earth need to be more than right here, right now—

with you. My beautiful daughter.” She gazes into my eyes

and my throat swells.

“And understand if you can’t forgive me, if you tell

me to go—I do …” Her lips tremble. “But more than

anything in the world

would really, really love the

chance—a second chance—to spend some time with you.

To get to know you …” She takes deep breath, bites her

lip. “If you’ll let me?”

stare at her, her green eyes mirroring mine,

memories of New York fading to nothing as recognize

the undisguised hope glistening there.

“I’d like that,” say quietly.

“Oh!” she gasps, tears spilling over as she grabs me

in tight hug. “Oh, Rosie! Thank you!”

hug her back, this stranger with my hair, my eyes.

302

My mother …

think, my heart swelling as her

perfume washes over me, exotic and intoxicating. She

came back

Again

“You won’t regret it—I promise!” she gushes. “I’m

going to take you for the most fabulous lunch, know the

best little seafood restaurant—you do like seafood?” She looks up quickly.

“Yes.” smile.

“Wonderful! Something in common already!” Kitty

beams. “Oh, you’ll love it—it’s right on the edge of Boston

Harbor, the view’s incredible.”

“Boston?” look at her, surprised.

“Yes! It’s just gorgeous, and the crab cakes are to die

for—I hope you didn’t have too much breakfast!”

look at her. “You mean now? Today?

“Yes!” She grins. “The table’s booked for one

o’clock!”

“Oh …”

think of Andy suddenly, of our day

together. “Today’s bit

bit difficult …”

“Oh.” Her face falls. “Oh, right.” She bites her lip. “My

fault—I should’ve called, shouldn’t’ve just …” She runs

hand through her perfect hair, then smiles sadly. “Never

mind, next time—there’ll be next time, right?” She looks

up anxiously.

“Of course!” smile. “How about tomorrow? Next

week?”

“Oh, darling,

can’t.” She looks crestfallen. “The

movie’s only given me two days off—I have to fly back

tomorrow.”

303

“Oh.” My heart sinks. “Oh, see. So when—”

“I’ve got

week off in March, before filming

resumes,” she suggests brightly. “Maybe you could come

down then?”

stare at her. March? That’s two months away.

“Oh, darling, it’s my fault. just thought, just hoped

that you’d be free for couple of hours. Total presumption

on my part.” She sighs.

“No,” hear myself saying. “No, it’s okay. can come

with you.”

“Really?” Her face brightens like the sun coming

out. “Oh, sweetie, you’re sure?” She grabs me in

hug.

“We’re gonna have such good time—get some lunch, go

shopping—just

spend some time together.” She smiles,

strokes my cheek. “I want to get to know you, Rosie.”

look at her, her eyes so full of hope, of expectation.

smile. “Me too.”

304

Holly

slam the bathroom door and lunge for the toilet,

heaving my guts out through painful, shuddering sobs.

She’s here After all these years—all my life—she’s

here Now? And she’s

freaking superstar? She’s Kitty

Clare?!

collapse on the floor, trembling and cold, my

throat sore and sour.

After all these years without so much as birthday

card—a letter!—now Rosie’s her daughter, she suddenly

wants to be

mother? And where’s my mother? She’s

dead! Rosie already had her and now she’s got Kitty too—

and my dad!—And who’ve got? Who’s left?

As if on cue, my cell phone bleeps in my pocket and

grab for it desperately, so thankful, so relieved, that

finally just when need him most, Josh—

OMG! Is that

STRETCH LIMO@ur house? WTF?!

AWESOME!! SO JEALOUS!! Mxx

scream, hurling the phone, smashing it against the

wall, and bury my head in my hands as the tears gush

uncontrollably, burning my eyes, my throat, my cheeks.

She’s got everything. Rosie’s taken everything. There’s

nothing left

305

“Holly?” Dad knocks gently on the door and try to

swallow my sobs. “Sweetheart, are you okay? Can come

in?”

No! scream inside. No! You’re

liar! You told me

my mother didn’t want me– you told me she was dead!

“I’m in the shower!” call, my voice horribly wobbly

as reach for the faucet and turn it on max, the water

thundering in the stall.

“Holly!” He knocks again. “Holly, please!”

close my eyes.

Leave me alone! This is all your fault! If you’d only

told me about her maybe would’ve gone looking for her,

maybe

would’ve found her– and then she’d be here

looking for me, not Rosie!

“Holly, talk to me!” Dad begs. “I’m gonna stand right

out here until—Shit!”

Above the roaring water hear Megan calling him

from downstairs.

close my eyes.

He knocks again. “Holly? Sweetheart, I’ll be just

downstairs when you come out, when you want to talk,

okay?” He sighs. “I love you.”

hear him lean against the door, resting his weight

on it for moment before he walks away.

Figures.

rest my head back on the wall, relieved that he’s

gone, angry at myself for feeling so hurt, so disappointed

that he left. He left me. Just like everyone else. My “buddy,”

my “pal.” My dad.

306

The steam fills my head, making everything fuggy

and damp as tear off my clothes and crawl into the stall,

gasping as the hot water strikes my body. close my eyes,

hugging my knees to my chest, enjoying the heat, the

noise, the pain that drown out the outside world, washing

it away.

Who needs Kitty with her perfect hair and

expensive clothes? She couldn’t even be bothered to stick

around after was born. Who needs Trudie either? All she

ever gave me was Huntington’s disease. Who needs dead

father or

dad who lies—who’s not even my real dad!

And who needs

fiancé who can’t even be bothered to

answer his freaking phone?

fiancé who’s always got his

head buried in his books, who’s always studying, always

aspiring to something bigger, something better

Than me

realize. We’re living in different

worlds, taking such different paths.

Especially now …

bite my lip, my tears mingling with the water

streaming over my body.

And who needs children anyway

More trouble

than they’re worth

choke on my sobs, drowning as reach blindly for

the shampoo.

grip something sharp and drop it immediately,

sucking at my stinging thumb. My blood tastes warm in

my mouth. Warm and sweet and strangely comforting.

open my eyes and spot my razor lying foot away.

307

Tentatively,

reach for it, the gleaming blades

winking at me in the shimmering light. Gently, run my

thumb across them, watching, mesmerized, as bright fresh

blood seeps from the cuts and is immediately washed

clean by the gushing water, leaving two neat stinging

lines. suck my thumb again, running my tongue along the

wounds, tasting their sweetness and feeling their pain.

Losing my own.

press the razor into my forearm, feeling the

stinging, pulsing throb of my veins, watching my blood

trickle down my arm, bright and gleaming and scarlet as it

swirls away down the drain with my hurt and my pain, my

arm painting itself more red with each cut—scarlet-

red

rose-red

Rosie

This is all her fault. All of it. If she hadn’t come here

everything would’ve been fine. But oh, no—the blood

gushes faster now—oh, no, she had to come and stir

things up, had to take everything

everyone! Both my

fathers, both my mothers, my brother—and even any

future family

might have had! She’s taken everything,

and what’s she left me with? Nothing!

hold my arm out to the water, the stinging pain

relief as it washes the redness away, cleansing and

purging my wounds. touch them gingerly, running my

fingers across them like I’m reading Braille.

Yes, it’s all Rosie’s fault. Little Miss DNA. She’s taken

everything.

Well, maybe it’s time took something back.

308

Rosie

“Don’t forget your scarf.” Kitty grins. “It’s freezing in

Boston!”

head for the stairs and nearly collide with Jack

rushing down.

“Hey,” he says, spotting the open front door.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on Jack,” Kitty says, glancing at

Megan, who disappears into the living room with Ben. “I

just asked Rosie if she’d like to spend the day with me,

that’s all.”

“That’s all?

Jack laughs bitterly. “Kitty, you

abandoned your daughter eighteen years ago, and now

you suddenly turn up here out of the blue, and—what?

You think she’s just going to drop everything and forgive

you?”

Kitty blushes. “It’s not like that.”

“You’re just going to pick up where you left off?”

“No, but—”

“No, damn right you’re not! You really think after

eighteen years—after what happened in New York—

after—”

“She said yes,” Kitty says softly.

He turns to me, stunned. “Rosie?”

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shift uncomfortably.

“Rosie—how can you? After all she’s done, how can

you just …”

“She’s my mother, Jack,”

say helplessly. “That’s

why came here, to find my mother.”

“Yes, and look how she treated you when you did

find her!” Jack protests. “She kicked you out, Rosie, she

abandoned you as baby, she hasn’t wanted to know you

for eighteen years!”

“But now do,” Kitty says desperately. “Now do—

more than anything in the world.”

Jack snorts.

“I know what did was wrong,” she sighs. “I was

seventeen—I was scared senseless.” She bites her lip. “I

know that’s no excuse, but I’m trying to make up for it

now. know nothing ever will, but …” She looks at me,

smiles gently. “If Rosie can find it in her heart to give me

second chance …”

“It wasn’t just Rosie you left,” Jack says quietly.

She stares at him. “Jack …”

His jaw tenses as he stares at the coat-rack.

gaze intently at my feet, my cheeks burning in the

long silence.

“I’m sorry,” Kitty says finally. “Jack,

really am

sorry.”

“Yes, well.” Jack clears his throat, runs his hand

through his hair, looking anywhere but at Kitty.

“Whatever our issues may be, you’re right, Rosie should

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come first. As you said, it’s her decision.” He looks at me

again, sad, tender look. “She’s an adult now.”

feel awful as they both look at me, like I’m caught

in the middle of custody battle.

“Rosie?” Kitty says gently.

look from her to Jack and back again, utterly torn.

Jack’s been so good to me—I don’t want to betray him or

hurt his feelings

but Kitty’s come all this way—and it’s

my only chance to see her for months

“Look, it’s okay,” Kitty sighs. “Jack’s right, it wasn’t

fair of me to just turn up like this. We’ll schedule

something else, some other time, let things cool down …”

“No, wait—”

cry as she turns away. “I want to

come with you.”

She’s the whole reason

came all this way, after

all—I can’t bear for her to walk out that door, not knowing

when I’ll ever see her again.

“If that’s okay,” add anxiously, turning to Jack. “I’ll

be back later?”

“Of course.” He smiles, his eyes tired. “Of course, if

that’s what you want.”

“Thank you, Jack,” Kitty says gently. “For

everything.”

He looks at her for

long moment, his expression

unreadable, then swallows hard.

“Just

look after her,” he says, before turning to

walk away down the corridor.

“Goodbye, Jack,” Kitty whispers as he disappears.

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She sighs quietly. Then she blinks quickly, takes

deep breath and turns to me.

“You ready?” She beams. “Lunch reservations

await!”

rush upstairs for my scarf, then remember Andy.

Shit.

try the bathrooms but they’re both locked, the

sound of running water gushing behind the closed doors.

“Andy!”

call. “Andy, I’m really sorry, I’ve got to

go—”

“I can’t hear you!” he shouts back. “I’m in the

shower!”

“Andy, open the door! Andy, it’s important! I’ve got

to—”

“Ten minutes!” he shouts back.

Ten minutes? don’t have ten minutes!

Kitty’s car horn beeps outside. swear under my

breath, then run into my room and grab my notebook

from my bag.

Andy scribble quickly.

Kitty’s arrived– one day only. Have gone to Boston

with her. Back tonight. Please forgive me boat trip

tomorrow?

love you

Rosie xxxx

prop the note against my pillow and rush

downstairs.

The door of the limo is waiting open for me—I can’t

believe the size of it! slide onto the smooth leather seat

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feeling light-headed, like I’m in dream. I’m going out for

the day in stretch limo! To Boston!

I’m going out for the day with my mother!

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Holly

The front door slams downstairs and

hold my

breath, listening carefully.

Silence.

creep out of the bathroom and pad silently to the

top of the stairs.

Still nothing.

Slowly, oh-so-carefully, tiptoe to Rosie’s door and

gently push it open.

It’s empty.

Feeling like

fugitive in my own house,

step

cautiously inside and close the door behind me.

My eyes flick quickly around the room, skimming

over the furniture I’ve seen

million times, to Rosie’s

toiletries on the desk, her bag on the bed,

note on her

pillow

bite my lip, my heart deafening in my ears as

cross to the bed. This is wrong, so wrong, but can’t stop

myself.

scowl at the page, her loopy handwriting, her

signature.

Rosie xxxx

Outside, car door slams, making me jump. cross

to the window to see the stretch limo pull smoothly away

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from the curb and disappear down the street, Kitty and

Rosie tucked smugly inside.

My vision blurs and the paper crumples in my fist,

opening my stinging wounds. stuff it in my pocket and

grab Rosie’s bag, new fire raging through my veins as

tear it open, yanking at its contents and strewing them

over the bed. Clothes tumble out, books and hair

clips

there must be something—she must have

something can use against her

pick up

notebook,

leafing swiftly through its pages for anything, anything at

all—and photograph slips out. Eagerly, grab it—

Kitty smiles back at me like

knife through my