Текст книги "Someone Else's Life"

Автор книги: Katie Dale

Соавторы: Katie Dale,Katie Dale
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Текущая страница: 18 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

Nana Fisher

stare at it, rubbing my thumb gently over the black

ink as if could touch her, see her. This woman who would

have been my nana, my family but for the mistake that’s kept us apart.

My whole life’s one huge, horrible mistake.

Or rather, it wasn’t mistake, at all

457

Suddenly my fingers scrabble in the pages, flipping

through quickly to the S section. scan the lines urgently, but it’s all surnames. take deep breath and start at the

beginning, forcing myself to go slowly, be thorough, my

pulse racing as my eyes dart over the pages, searching,

searching

Until find her.

458

Rosie

We’re tucking into our sundaes by the time Jack

arrives at Pisa Pizza.

“Hi, where’ve you been?” Megan stands to kiss him

as Ben covers his bowl protectively.

“You can’t have any, Daddy!” he sings. “You’re the

last!”

“Meany.” Jack smiles halfheartedly.

“We saved you both some pizza, though.” Megan

smiles. “Where’s Holly?”

“She’s not coming.” He slumps into the booth and

runs his hands through his hair. “She’s moving out.”

“What?” Megan drops her spoon.

stare at him.

“Why?” she asks. “I thought everything was okay

now—Kitty dropped the case!”

“I know,” he sighs. “I think she just needs

some

time alone for while.”

“Where’s Holly?” Ben asks in small voice.

Jack and Megan exchange looks.

“She’s gone on little vacation,” Megan says quickly.

“To the beach?” Ben asks hopefully. “Can we go

too?”

459

“Not this time.” Megan smiles. “She’s gone

somewhere very boring and cold.”

“The North Pole?” Ben asks. “With the penguins?”

Megan laughs. “Something like that. Brrr!” She

tickles him and he laughs.

“I like penguins,” Ben says.

“Well, you obviously don’t like ice cream!” Megan

says, picking up her spoon. “So I’ll just have to eat yours

up!”

“No!” Ben squeals, digging in.

“Good boy.” She ruffles his hair, then looks at Jack

anxiously.

stare at my ice cream melting in my dish, my wafer

sliding over onto its side.

push it up again with my

spoon, but no matter how many times

keep trying to

prop it up, it always slides back down, the pool of slush

getting bigger every time.

460

Holly

“Whoa,” Melissa gasps after I’ve told her

everything—almost everything. She may be my best

friend, but as she’s also Josh’s sister, still can’t tell her I’m pregnant. Not before Josh. Not until know if the baby’s at

risk.

If there’s even going to be baby.

“Jeez.” Melissa shakes her head. “Holy crap, Holly.”

nod. That pretty much sums it up.

“I can’t believe it—your dad

Huntington’s

disease

Kitty Clare!

look up quickly. “You can’t tell anyone, Melissa.

Swear it.”

“I swear!” she promises earnestly. “Jeez, Holls, why

didn’t you call me?

must’ve tried your cell

million

times.”

“Sorry, it’s broken.”

“I thought you were avoiding me coz of what

happened with Josh—I was ready to kill him for wrecking

our friendship!”

squeeze her hand. “Never.”

“And then your dad said you were sick when came

around, and you’ve been out of school so long thought

you had mono—or worse!”

461

nod. Worse Much, much worse.

“Don’t worry, you can copy all my notes.” Melissa

smiles. “Not that you’ve really missed much. Except

Natalie Van Pelt came back from vacation with the worst

nose job I’ve ever seen though she claims she just had skiing accident, but—yeah, right!” She looks up suddenly,

contrite. “Not that you really care when your life’s going

down the crapper, huh? Sorry.” She squeezes my knee.

“No, it’s okay.”

smile. It’s actually good to think

about something else for

change. “What other gossip

have missed?”

Melissa grins, her eyes sparkling as she spends the

next hour filling me in on school scandals, from fashion

faux pas and disastrous dates to

hilarious horror story

about girl who cut off the school diva’s ponytail because

she flirted with her boyfriend, which has me in hysterics,

imagining the look of horror on Kimberley’s perfect face

when her golden curls plummeted to the floor—priceless!

“Which just goes to show”—Melissa winks—“don’t

get mad. Get even.”

giggle, wiping tears from my eyes, and suddenly

realize how long it’s been since laughed, since thought

of anything but Huntington’s or Rosie or the baby.

Thank God for Melissa.

Just then there’s knock on her bedroom door, and

her mom steps inside.

“Hi, girls.” She smiles awkwardly. “Listen, know

said you could stay over, Holly—and you know you’re

always welcome …” She squeezes my hand and my heart

462

sinks. “But

just got

call from your dad, honey. He’s

really worried about you. think you should go home.”

“Mom!” Melissa exclaims. “You can’t kick Holly

out—she’s my best friend!”

“And her dad’s worried sick. I’m sorry, Holly, can’t

let you stay here. Your dad wasn’t exactly thrilled the last

time you stayed over without his consent …”

“Mom, she’s eighteen.”

“It doesn’t matter, he’s still her dad.”

No, he’s not, think. He never was

“You just need to talk to him, sweetie, work this

out.” Melissa’s mom smiles gently. “You need to go home.”

“Sorry,” Melissa sighs as her mom shuts the door.

“This sucks.”

Once again, her analysis is flawless.

Crap sigh.

If can’t stay here, there’s only one place can go

463

Rosie

“There’s no place like home,” Dorothy chants on the

screen, clicking her ruby heels, eyes closed tight as Ben

copies her. “No place like home, no place like home …”

close my eyes. There’s no place like home

In the week since Holly left, the house hasn’t felt

much like home. It’s been like living in shell, everybody

wandering round like zombies, waiting for the phone to

ring, for her to come back. Jack’s still kicking himself for

asking Melissa’s mum to send her home—at least she was

nearby before. But while he’s not exactly thrilled she’s

staying at Harvard, at least she’s safe, and as he doesn’t

want to scare her off again, he’s got no choice but to wait,

hoping she’ll come back or call when she’s ready.

The shrill ring of my mobile makes me jump. Jack

and

stare at it, and Megan comes racing in from the

kitchen.

pick up quickly. “Hello?”

“Rosie?” Sarah’s voice sounds unfamiliar, strained.

“Oh—hi!” say, surprised. “Just sec.”

Jack looks at me anxiously, hopeful, but shake my

head.

“Just

friend from home,” whisper, watching his

shoulders droop as

head upstairs. He’s been like this

464

ever since Holly left, jumping up at every knock on the

door, every telephone ring. It’s killing him that she’s gone.

Mentioning Sarah might not go down so well just at the

moment either.

“Hi,” say again, closing the bedroom door behind

me. “Is everything okay? It must be the middle of the night

with you!”

“It is,” she says quietly. “I just got in.”

“Sarah?” Something in her voice makes me sit up.

“What is it? Is Nana—”

“Your nana’s fine,” she sighs. “At least for now …”

“What do you mean?”

ask, my skin prickling.

“What is it?”

“Rosie …” She hesitates. “Look, don’t blame you.

really don’t, just wish

just wish you could’ve given me

some warning, that you could have told me yourself.” She

sighs heavily, and imagine her running hand over her

frazzled hair. “Rosie, someone’s found out—about the

swap—I’m being sued.”

“What? No!” tell her, relief flooding through me.

“No, it’s all right. There was

there was

problem, but

it’s over. The case was dropped.”

didn’t know Kitty’d

even opened the case.

“Really?” Sarah’s voice is hesitant, hopeful. “So this

email I’ve got—I don’t need to worry?”

“No, it’s all over,” promise. “Kitty called it off.”

“Who’s Kitty?”

“My—my real mother …” trail off awkwardly. “I’m

sorry, Sarah, came over here to find her—I had to

But

465

she called week ago. The charges were all dropped, don’t

worry.”

There’s short pause.

“Rosie …,” she says slowly. “The email was sent

today.”

“What?”

stare at the phone. “That’s impossible.”

She can’t have changed her mind, she can’t …

“I check my emails every day,” Sarah says. “It just

arrived.”

“It was sent to you personally?” gasp, my breath

tight in my throat.

“Yes.”

“Sarah …,”

say carefully, dread trickling through

me like ice. “Who is the email from?”

466

Holly

smile as stare at the little pink address book for

the hundredth time.

don’t know why didn’t think of it before. After all,

why should Rosie get everything while I’m left with

nothing?

And Sarah—well, she’s going to get what’s coming

to her, I’ll see to that. Kitty had the right idea. Make her

pay. Make her pay for causing this whole mess. But Kitty

didn’t care enough. Her precious career was more

important than the truth. Well, now I’m going to tell the

truth—just like Rosie did when she arrived on my

doorstep, ate my birthday cake and stole my life.

How does the saying go? The truth will set you free?

Let’s see if Sarah sees it that way.

After all, Melissa was right:

Don’t get mad.

Get even.

467

Rosie

This can’t be happening tell myself as Jack swings

the car onto the main road and slams his foot on the

accelerator.

She can’t do this– she can’t sue Sarah– not

now

not after all we went through with Kitty

But of

course, she can. And why shouldn’t she? It’s Holly’s right,

after all

it’s her right more than anyone’s.

But can’t let her. have to stop this– have to stop

this now– but how?

hang up miserably. She still won’t answer her

mobile.

“Keep trying!” Jack urges, the passing headlights

picking out his frown lines in the dark. “We have to find her, make her see that suing won’t help anything, help

anybody.”

He thumps the dashboard and

quickly redial,

getting through to voice mail over and over all the way to

Boston as Holly and Josh refuse to answer.

Finally Jack swings the car to the curb outside vast

redbrick building and jumps out. hurry after him across

neatly manicured quad crisscrossed with pathways and

lined with naked, shivering trees.

468

He hammers on the locked door until finally

someone answers.

“Where can find Josh Samuels?” he barks.

The girl shrugs, startled. “I’m sorry, don’t—”

“Which room is he in?” Jack pushes past her.

“Where’s my daughter?”

“Hey.” muscly guy strides forward. “You can’t just

barge in here.”

“I’m looking for my daughter!” Jack says firmly.

“She’s with Josh Samuels, and need to see her now!”

“I’m sorry, sir, you’ll have to leave.” The guy walks

right up to Jack, his hands balled fists at his sides. “Now.”

Shit. “Jack …” tug on his sleeve.

“I’m not leaving,” Jack growls, eyeballing the guy,

“till find Josh Samuels.”

“Really?” The human wall raises an eyebrow.

“Jack, maybe we should—”

“I saw Josh.”

Jack spins and pins the second guy with his anxious

stare. “When? Where?”

“Uh, about half hour ago—”

“Where?!”

“He was getting into his car with

red-haired

chick.”

“Where were they going?” Jack urges.

“No idea.” He shrugs.

“Shit.” Jack sighs.

“But he had suitcase.”

469

Jack looks up quickly. “A suitcase?” His face relaxes.

“She’s coming home …”

“You leaving now?” Mr. Muscle grunts.

“Down, boy. We’re going,” Jack mutters, sighing

with relief as we head back toward the car. “My little girl’s

coming home.”

follow silently, an uneasy feeling niggling in my

gut.

470

Holly

Home There’s no place like it.

watch the city lights fly past the car window and

know I’m doing the right thing.

Whatever’s happened—whatever happens—it’s

still my home.

Where the heart is.

Where my family is.

Where belong.

smile.

can’t wait.

471

Rosie

hear the familiar ringtone before we even reach

the car, and hurry to open the door.

“Rosie, finally!” Andy cries as answer my phone.

“I’ve been calling for, like, an hour!”

“Sorry, I’ve been trying to call Holly, she—”

“Has she got new mobile?”

“What?”

“She broke hers—did she get new one? need to

contact her.”

“I dunno, we’re trying to find her, she’s staying with

Josh—”

“No, she’s not.”

blink. “She’s not?”

Jack looks up sharply as he starts the car.

“No, just

if any of you hear from her, tell her to

call me, okay?”

“Wait—Andy, how do you know?”

“I’m sorry, can’t tell you—I promised.”

“Andy Holly’s moved out. Jack’s beside himself! If

you know where she is …”

“I don’t …” Andy hesitates. “But know where she’s

headed.”

“Where?”

472

Andy sighs. “Rosie, she’s going to England.”

“England?”

Jack stares at me. “Shit! The airport.”

My head slams against the window, the phone

tumbling to the floor as Jack swings the car in sharp U-

turn and hits the accelerator.

Panic races through my veins.

England Sarah …

Nana …

473

Holly

“Hey.” Josh appears beside me in the line for check-

in with bag of candy. “I thought you might need these for

the plane—for when your ears pop.” He grins as he chews.

“And maybe few for now?”

smile as he offers me the already-opened bag. It

wasn’t until spent time with him this week that realized

just how much I’d missed him—his warmth, his laughter,

his reassuring presence beside me. It’s been weird staying

in his dorm, though. It’s like he’s got this whole other life,

filled with friends don’t know and experiences

can’t

share. He’s on the debate team, the university

newspaper—he’s even in the choir! My Josh, who I’ve

never even heard sing before. He’s thriving—changing and growing before my eyes, embracing each new challenge

and adventure, gaining more and more confidence in

himself. He fits here. He belongs in this world, this new life.

But that hasn’t stopped him from being there for me

when needed him most. smile. Maybe we will find

way through this—maybe it doesn’t have to be all or

nothing, college or us, engagement or breakup. We can

bridge this gap, we can make it work if we try hard

enough. I’ve met all his new friends now, after all, and he’s

474

been incredible this week—lending me his phone to call

Charlotte, who’ll contact

clinic in England when my

results are ready, and listening without judging as finally

told him everything.

Well, almost everything.

bite my lip. feel awful not telling him about the

baby, but with things still so undecided between us after

our engagement fiasco, don’t want him to commit to me

again just because I’m pregnant—especially when the

baby and

might both have inherited

debilitating

disease. When still don’t know whether should keep it

anyway

Just one more secret. Just for now.

Until know.

“You okay?” Josh asks gently. “D’you want me to

come with you? Get flight?”

stare at him. He’d do that? For me? The girl who

ditched him? He’d leave his studies and come with me

halfway around the world to find my family?

smile and squeeze his hand. Of course he would.

That’s exactly why can’t tell him about the baby. Can’t let

him sacrifice everything for me.

“Thanks.” smile. “But this is something need to do

myself.”

“Okay.” He nods,

frown flickering across his

features. “But if you need anything at all—I’m here.

Always. This isn’t leaving my sight. Okay?” He holds up his

cell phone and want to cry.

475

As if to prove his point, the phone buzzes as he

receives yet another voice mail.

“My dad again?” sigh.

He nods, listening to the message, wincing at the

raised voice, almost audible from here. “Crap.”

“What now?” frown.

Josh looks at me. “He’s on his way.”

476

Rosie

“Come on, come on!” Jack hisses, thumping the

dashboard as we stop at yet another red light. “Which

terminal does the Website say?”

check his mobile. “Terminal E,” tell him, fidgeting

in my seat, all my fingers and toes crossed as stare at the

lights, willing them to change.

We have to stop Holly, we have to—this is worse

than Kitty. She was just looking for publicity, but Holly’s

out for revenge. On me, on Sarah

press my eyes closed.

have to stop her.

Before it’s too late.

Finally the airport looms up beside us, and

unbuckle my seat belt.

“Rosie, can’t leave the car here—”

“You park,”

tell him, opening the door. “I’ll find

Holly.”

slam the door behind me and sprint toward the

terminal building. have to find her

burst through the

doors, my breath tight in my lungs, running, searching,

scanning the concourse like my whole life depends on it.

Because it does.

477

Holly

Come on, come on

tap my foot nervously as the

check-in guy scans my passport.

“Never been abroad before, huh?” He grins. “Hope

you don’t get airsick!”

smile tightly, glancing anxiously at the entrance.

Still no sign of Dad, thank God—this’ll be so much easier

without scene.

“Aisle or window?” the guy asks.

“Whatever!”

shrug, my eyes glued to the doors,

scanning everyone who comes in. Josh squeezes my hand

and remember to breathe.

Finally the guy gives me my boarding pass, and

watch my bag disappear on the conveyor belt. No going

back

niggle of doubt squirms inside me, but ignore it.

I’m doing the right thing,

know I’m doing the right

thing—she’s my nana, it’s my family—I deserve some answers too.

And as for Sarah

My skin turns cold. She deserves

everything that’s coming to her. It’s time she faced the

consequences of what she did—faced me.

“Hey.” Josh grabs me in warm hug and begin to

soften. “You take care of yourself, okay?”

478

“You too,”

whisper, his strong arms wrapped

around me like he’ll never let go.

“Bring me back gnome.”

laugh despite myself. “A gnome?”

“Yeah.” He grins. “I always wanted gnome. Named

Yoda.”

grin. “It’s promise.” kiss his cheek softly.

Then my smile fades.

479

Rosie

“Holly!” yell at the top of my lungs.

She turns and hurries away, and sprint faster, grab

her arm. “Holly, wait!”

“Hey!” Josh warns as she wrenches away.

“Holly, please—just listen. Please don’t do this.”

“Why not?” she challenges, her eyes cold. “Why

shouldn’t I?”

“Holly, please,” beg. “Sarah will go to prison! She

never meant you any harm—it was mistake. You’ll ruin

her life!”

“She’s ruined my life!” Holly rounds on me. “Why shouldn’t she be punished? Why shouldn’t go claim my

family, Rosie? You did. She’s my nana, after all!”

“Because …”

stare at her helplessly,

million

reasons flooding to my lips. Because she’s an old lady.

Because it would destroy her world. Because she’s mine …

“Because she doesn’t know,” tell her, my words

sounding feeble, even to me.

“Neither did I.” She turns away, dragging Josh

across the concourse.

“Holly, please.”

chase after her, desperate now.

“You have

right to be angry—we both do—but this

won’t solve anything! You can’t turn back the clock!”

480

“You tried to!” Holly counters.

“Yes, and look where it got me with Kitty!” reason.

“You were better off without her!”

“That’s easy for you to say!” she retorts. “I wouldn’t

know. My mother’s dead!”

“I know, Holly—I’m the one who had to watch her

die!”

She flinches.

“You really think my life’s been so easy—that I’m

the lucky one in all this?!”

stare at her incredulously,

blood blazing in my veins. “She was my mother my whole world

and there was nothing could do. just had to

watch …”

She looks away.

“You’ve had eighteen years, Holly—eighteen happy,

blissful years with

dad who loves you more than

anything else on this planet, wonderful stepmother and

gorgeous little brother—and you think I’m the lucky

one?” Tears scorch my eyes.

She bites her lip.

“Don’t you see, there are no winners here, Holly.

We’re the same—I never had

dad, you never had

mother. This accident, this mistake, it happened to both of us.”

“We’re not the same!” she yells. “My parents are

dead! I’ll never know them!” She glares at me, her voice trembling. “They’ll never know me—because of Sarah, they never had the chance!”

481

“Holly.” lower my voice as people begin to stare. “I

know. I’m sorry, didn’t mean—”

“And no, it wasn’t an accident,” she spits, eyes

blazing. “It wasn’t

mistake– your mother didn’t want

you. She left you, she ran away. That’s how this all

happened! If Kitty hadn’t abandoned you we wouldn’t be

in this mess!”

freeze as she glares at me, eyes shimmering.

“My mother was desperate for me—you said it

yourself—she wanted me more than anything else in the

whole world, but was taken from her—your friend stole

me– that’s the difference!”

stare at her, stunned, as Josh wraps his arm

around her shoulders, tries to calm her down.

“It wasn’t an accident,” she repeats, her eyes

burning into mine, clear as glass. “You were abandoned,”

she clarifies coldly. “I was stolen.”

stare at her as the room spins sickeningly. She’s

right. Kitty didn’t want me—she never wanted me—she

left me. Twice

“No one was abandoned,” Jack says quietly, walking

up behind me.

Holly looks up at him, her jaw clenched tight.

“Holly,” he says gently. “Rosie, both of you have

been loved. Are loved. None of this makes

difference,

DNA doesn’t matter—”

“Ha!” Holly laughs coldly. “Well, you would say that,

wouldn’t you?”

Jack stares at her, his face draining of color.

482

“You’re not my father, are you?” she says coldly.

“You never were.” To my surprise, she looks at me. “And

you’re not—”

“Holly—don’t,” Jack interrupts, grabbing her

shoulders, his back to me. “Please …”

She stares up at him, her face stricken with pain.

She shakes her head, disbelieving.

“Even now,” she whispers. “Even now?”

“Holly—”

“Get off me!” she yells, shrugging him away. “Don’t

you dare!” Her voice is broken, splintered by tears. “Don’t you dare tell me what to do—you’re not my father—you

were never my father!”

“Holly—” Jack tries again.

“Don’t touch me!” She recoils, stepping behind Josh,

who looks awkwardly at Jack.

People are staring openly now, and security guard

is heading our way, but Holly seems oblivious, her face

raw with emotion as she glares at Jack.

She turns to me, opens her mouth to speak, then

closes it again,

hardness descending over her features.

She picks up her bag, her back straight, her shoulders

square, and without another word, she grabs Josh’s hand

and walks away.

483

Holly

“Holly!” Dad cries, following me, but keep walking,

concentrating on putting one foot in front of another,

heading for passport control. Hot tears spring, and swipe

at them angrily, Josh’s hand tight around mine.

“Holly!” Dad grabs my arm.

“Jack,” Josh says gently. “Sir, you can’t stop her.”

Dad shakes his head, his voice quiet, lost. “I’m not

trying to.”

He looks at me, so sad.

“Holly, if this is what you want, if this is really what

you want …”

“It is,” tell him firmly, my jaw set.

“Then I’ll come with you.”

stare at him in surprise.

“You’re my little girl, Holly-berry,” he whispers. “No

matter what you say, you’ll always be my little girl.” He

looks at me, his eyes full. “I just want you to be happy.”

stare at him. He’d come with me? To find my

family? My real family?

“No.” shake my head, my voice trembling. “Thank

you, but no—I have to

have to do this by myself.”

He looks at me, his eyes mournful, like we’re saying

goodbye for the last time.

484

“I understand.” He nods, blinking quickly. He rubs

his hand over his face roughly, then opens his wallet and

presses wad of bills into my palm.

“Good luck, baby,” he whispers, leaning forward and

kissing my forehead gently, the familiar scent of his jacket

washing over me and stinging my eyes. “I love you.”

look up at him, my heart wrenching in my chest.

How did it come to this?

gaze at him for what seems like forever, until his

face swims in front of mine and can’t breathe

then

close my eyes tight, take huge breath and force myself to

turn away—away from everything I’ve ever known,

everything I’ve ever loved—toward

future blurring

before me

485

Rosie

“This is crazy!” yell at the airline rep. “There must

be flight—a stand-by seat or something?

“Not tonight, I’m sorry, ma’am,” she says calmly.

“Would you like me to book that flight for you on the

thirtieth? That’s the earliest available seat right now.”

“Fine!”

say, tearing at my hair. “Fine—yes. Yes,

please.”

watch miserably as she makes the booking.

The thirtieth– four whole days away I’ve got to wait four whole days before can fly. Four whole days during which Holly could destroy my world, my life, my

nana

and there’s absolutely nothing can do about it.

“Come on, Rosie,” Jack says gently. “Let’s go home.”

Home If such place even exists anymore

follow him gloomily back to the car.

can’t believe he let her go—he just let her go

But then, how could he stop her? sigh. She’s just

doing what did. close my eyes, thinking of Nana, so frail,

so fragile; of Sarah, so warm and loving. Neither of them

deserves this.

And it’s all my fault. opened this can of worms, and

now they’re everywhere, squirming wildly, ripping apart

everything love, totally out of my control. sigh heavily.

486

But not yet—Holly’s not there yet, reason. There’s

still time. She won’t land for another six hours. Maybe

she’ll change her mind

Yeah, sigh. And maybe the moon really is made of

cheese.

487

Holly

wake with

jolt as the seat belt sign pings on.

pull off my eye mask and squint around the cabin.

Morning light streams through the tiny windows, and

there, below, is London.

rub my eyes, staring at the

famous landmarks unfolding beneath me—the London

Eye, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace—it’s like dream.

This is my dream,

think wistfully. Here

am,

traveling at last. rest my hand on my stomach. Though

not quite the way planned

By the time check into hotel, I’m exhausted—jet

lag, suppose. I’ve made it as far as Maybridge, the nearest

big town to Bramberley, but thought it might be better to

leave the meet-and-greet until I’ve freshened up. One

glance at the hotel mirror, and I’m glad did: I’m

total

mess.

flop down on the bed and stare at the little address

book.

Nana The word tingles on my tongue. She’s so close

now—just the next village, just the other end of that

phone

could call her, think, the idea dancing in my mind.

Just to make sure have the right address

pick up the

488

receiver, pushing the buttons tentatively—the code that

will unlock my history—then hold my breath as it rings.

“Hello?”

pleasant voice sings. “Laura Fisher’s

residence.”

can’t breathe, paralyzed by the sound of her voice.

“Hello?” she says again. “Is anyone there?”

put the phone down quickly, my heart racing. It’s

her. She’s real. My nana

And I’m going to find her.

Tomorrow I’ll find her.

bite my lip, fear mingling with my excitement.

Or maybe the day after.

489

Rosie

stare at my mobile as sunlight begins to creep

across the ceiling: 5:05 a.m

Holly will be in England by now. She’s five hours

ahead—she might even be in Bramberley.

My skin prickles.

stare at the phone, trying to guess what’s going on

on the other side of the Atlantic.

could call Andy for the fiftieth time, check again if

he’s managed to get hold of Holly yet, to talk her out of

telling Nana

Yeah, right. Like anyone could talk her out of it. I’ve

never seen anyone more determined. And he’d have called

me if he had. sigh.

could always call Nana myself

It would be better

coming from me, better at least than hearing it from Holly,

stranger

even if that stranger is her granddaughter

pick up the phone, my hand shaking as dial the

familiar number, holding my breath as it rings.

Maybe she’s out. Maybe she’ll be out when Holly—

“Hello?” she says, her warm voice achingly familiar.

“Hello, Laura Fisher’s residence.”

can do this close my eyes, the phone trembling in

my hand. have to do this

490

open my mouth, but nothing comes out.

“Hello?” she says impatiently. “Hello? Who is this?”

My throat constricts as struggle desperately, but

there are no words—how do start? How can even begin

to explain this whole horrible mess?

“Hello?”

drop the phone like

hot coal, burying my head

deep in my pillow.

can’t

can’t do it How can possibly tell her?

491

Holly

stare at the sign as we drive past.

WELCOME TO BRAMBERLEY, TWINNED WITH

CHARMOINES-SUR-MER

shiver thrills through me. This is it. My

hometown—village, rather. gaze out the cab window as

the rolling green hills give way to rows of huddling

houses, then

duck pond and—no way!—a real live

castle! grin. Melissa would love this. It’s like traveling

back in time into whole other world, filled with fields of

sheep and cows, thatched cottages, rustic pubs,

large

stone church

“Wait!”

cry suddenly, turning to the cabdriver.

“Stop here, please!”

step out of the car and stare up at the tall gray

stone building with its enormous stained-glass windows

and large black clock face. follow the gravel path up to

the large iron gate and beyond, into graveyard scattered

with headstones.

My breath catches at every new stone as scan each

inscription nervously

And then, suddenly, there she is.

stare, mesmerized, at the stone, the letters fresh

and clear.

492

GERTRUDE KENNING

BELOVED DAUGHTER, WIFE, AND MOTHER

Mother

“Mom …?” My heart suddenly constricts, crippled by

the crushing realization that no matter what do or where

go, this, here—a stone, patch of mud—is the closest I’ll

ever get to her.

stroke my fingers over the frozen soil, my tears

glistening on the infant grass.

She was my mother and we never even met. She

never knew me

She’ll never know me

“I’m here, Mom,” whisper. “I came back.”

Too late

The stone swims before me as

lean forward to

touch it—so smooth, so hard, so cold.

Just few weeks

realize wretchedly. missed her

by just few miserable weeks

“I miss you, Mom,” tell her, my voice shuddering in

the empty graveyard. “I miss you so much.”

The words blur as

trace them with shaking

fingertips.

D– A– V

Surprised, blink, focus.

DAVID KENNING

LOVING SON, HUSBAND, FATHER

Father

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My dad’s headstone as well as my mother’s—my

birth dad.

January 5th

My birthday. The year was born.

Guilt hits me without warning. Rosie never knew

her dad. She never had dad

The image of Dad at the airport burns in my head

and my heart twists painfully. I’ve had dad all this time,

my whole life, as real and as wonderful as any dad could

be, and

would have never known my birth father,

whatever happened. He died the night was born

The night we were born

shiver as imagine what it must have been like—

what it would be like if

was giving birth now and

discovered that Josh had been killed—if my baby was

ill

if it died

wave of overwhelming sadness floods through me

as gaze at the stone.

This– this is what started it all. Not greed, not

selfishness, not neglect—this tragedy. This is why Sarah switched us. This man—my dad—he died. If he hadn’t—if

there hadn’t been

storm

close my eyes, imagining

how she must’ve felt—my mom—how helpless, how

hopeless

worrying for her sick baby, grieving for her

dead husband

And now she’s dead too. They’re both dead. Here

we are, fighting over them, while they’re dead and gone.

We’ve both lost them. Forever.

And nothing can ever bring them back.