Текст книги "A fire in the flash"

Автор книги: Jennifer L. Armentrout

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 31 (всего у книги 37 страниц)

“It is okay,” Ash translated quietly for me. “You are safe.”

“Vena ta mayah,” she urged. I knew that one. Come to me. Tendrils of eather crackled around her. “Illa vol la sutum.”

“She will…she will be safe,” Ash repeated.

That didn’t make sense, except…Keella had told her to come to her and then said she would be safe. She wasn’t talking about Sotoria. She was talking about me.

Oh, gods. Was Sotoria somehow resisting because she was worried about me?

“Illa vol ori,” Keella told her. “Illa vol…” Whatever else Keella said was lost to the sudden buzzing in my ears.

Ash inhaled sharply, and my body jerked as I felt Sotoria respond. It was like she was disentangling herself from me and suddenly moving closer to the surface. That was the only way I could describe it.

“Hold on to Seraphena,” Keella instructed.

“Always,” Ash responded. “Always.”

My heart stuttered and then sped up as I looked down, barely able to see past the aura coming off Keella. Still, I felt the sudden warmth pulsing over the skin of my chest under their hands.

A soft, silvery-white light suddenly radiated from my chest. My eyes widened as Keella replaced her hand with the one that held The Star. The hard edges pressed into my skin—

I heard Sotoria then.

Heard her speaking just as her soul left me and poured into the diamond.

Keella rocked back, the essence dimming around her as she looked down at The Star. An intense, bright white light floated inside the stone.

“It is done?” Attes asked, his voice thick.

“It is.” The Primal goddess rose, turning to Attes. “We will keep her safe.”

“Until…” I cleared my throat. “Until when?”

“Until it’s best to allow her to be reborn,” she said as Attes took the diamond. He handled it with reverence, gently placing it inside the satchel. “Once we can be sure that Kolis will not be able to find her before she is ready.”

Before she is ready.

A sour taste gathered in my mouth as I placed my hand on my chest. Ash asked me if I was okay, and I nodded. I didn’t feel different, yet I did. The presence I hadn’t been aware of for most of my life was gone, but Sotoria’s parting words lingered.

We will meet again.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

We shadowstepped back to the Bonelands, leaving Keella and Attes in the Thyia Plains.

As I stared out past the ships at sea, I wished I could’ve seen more of the Court. It was beautiful.

Keella had embraced me before we left. Attes hadn’t. Likely because Ash would’ve made good on his threat to rip out the Primal’s tongue. Instead, he’d placed his hand over his heart and bowed.

I’d reminded him of his promise to me as Ash said goodbye to Keella: that he would support Ash.

“I have not forgotten, Seraphena,” he’d answered. “He will have my support.”

“Sera,” I’d corrected him.

Attes had smiled then, but his dimples didn’t appear, and his eyes looked sad. I hoped he and Ash could work things out and become more than comrades. I hoped they’d be friends like those Ash spoke with now.

We will meet again.

I hadn’t hallucinated the sound of Sotoria’s voice, but what had she meant? Once we both passed on? That would be soon, very soon for me. But her?

My stomach shifted again as I thought about her in that diamond for who knew how long, only to be reborn, grow up, and be placed right back in the hands of Kolis and his obsession. It wasn’t right. I should’ve spoken up.

I turned at the sound of footsteps, spotting Elias, who had been conscious when we returned. The golden paint had been washed from his face. It was always hard to tell a god’s age, but his square-shaped face looked younger than I expected.

“Sorry about what happened when you first arrived here,” I said.

“It’s okay. I’d rather be seen as suspicious and ask for forgiveness than end up dead.” He touched the back of his head as he glanced to where Ehthawn was now perched on the cliff Aurelia had been on before. “Though I hope I don’t have any more stones coming down on my head.”

“I suppose you’ll need to stay out from under any draken then,” I said.

Elias glanced at the sea. “Was everything a success with the diamond?”

“It was.” I took in the cut of his chin. “Are you from Attes’s Court originally?”

He nodded.

“Did he have something to do with you working your way up to being Kolis’s guard?”

“He did. Put a good word in, but I also had to put my time in to get there.” He frowned, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. “He couldn’t tell you about me, you know? It was just too much of a risk.”

“I know.”

His gaze cut to mine. “Do you?”

“I could’ve used that kind of information as a bargaining tool.”

“Would you have?”

I watched Ash as he spoke to Saion and Rhahar, the breeze stirring his hair. “Depends.”

Elias followed my gaze. “You’d do anything for him.”

“I would.”

“He’s a lucky man, then, to have even a day of such devotion.” A brief smile appeared. “And I have a feeling I’ll be a dead man if he catches me talking to you.”

My lips quirked. “You’ll be fine. Attes? Probably a different story.”

Elias chuckled. “Attes does have a way of inciting that response in others.” His eyes narrowed. “I think someone wishes to speak with you.”

I followed his gaze, finding Rhain striding toward us.

“Excuse me.” Elias bowed.

I nibbled on the inside of my lip when Elias departed, only to be quickly intercepted by Kars, then shifted my focus to Rhain.

He stopped about a foot from me. “I’d ask how you’re feeling, but…”

“Yeah,” I murmured. “Thank you for not asking.”

“And forcing you to lie?”

I nodded, now the one shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. “Oh.” I reached up, unclasping Aios’s necklace. I offered it to him. “Can you give this back to Aios? Or give it to Bele?”

Rhain stared at the silver chain. “You should be the one returning it to her.” He took the chain.

“I would like to,” I told him, glancing down at the cracked marble floor. “By the way, that’s a nifty talent you have. Communicating telepathically.”

The apples of his cheeks matched his hair. “Yeah, it’s not something I advertise. I’m not even as good at it as Kolis believes.”

I doubted that. “I’m sorry about your father and brother.”

Squinting, he nodded. His chest rose. “I wanted…I wanted to thank you for—”

“You don’t have to.”

“But I do.” His golden-brown eyes met mine. “You didn’t have to intervene to save me. You didn’t have to do anything. Yet, you did.”

I folded an arm over my waist. “I only did what anyone else would have.”

“I don’t think that’s true, Seraphena.” He stepped in closer. “I don’t know what you had to do,” he said, his voice low, “but whatever it was, I will never forget what you sacrificed.”

“It wasn’t…” I closed my eyes, knowing it was unlikely he’d believe me if I said it was nothing. “Thank you for not telling any of them about how you were freed.”

“Of course.” His gaze flickered over me. “But they would not have treated you any differently if they knew. I know they would feel what I do, only regret.”

“Regret?”

Rhain nodded. “For not seeing you as Ector did,” he said, his voice cracking. “He saw you for what you were when you first arrived in the Shadowlands.”

“Someone you didn’t want to stab?” I joked.

His too-solemn stare landed on me. “Someone who has earned our respect and admiration. Especially mine.” He looked away. Ash was heading in our direction. “But he always saw you. Always.”

Ash had.

He always saw me, even when he was angry or disappointed.

“What are you two talking about?” Ash came to my side, and Rhain moved back several feet, followed by the others.

“I was returning Aios’s necklace,” I said, my gaze moving over the faces of those I might’ve become friends with if I had more time and missing the ones not here and those no longer with us.

I wanted to see Reaver’s too-solemn and too-old eyes for such a young boy. His smile. And I wished I could hold Jadis again. Feel her weight on my chest as she slept.

Gods, it was so damn weird.

Because I wasn’t sure I had appreciated that experience as much as I should’ve in the moment. But now? I wished I’d paid more attention. Because I imagined that if I were able to live long enough to have children, that was what it would’ve felt like to hold my own. Feeling their heartbeat against my chest. And knowing that I held my whole damn world in my arms.

I glanced up at Ash. He was looking down at me, and the back of my throat burned with a knot of raw yearning. I’d never really considered children. I hadn’t even liked holding them on the rare occasion I’d been near one. Babes and their tiny hands and fragility terrified me. The idea of children had never been a part of my future. But as my gaze traveled over Ash’s face, I would’ve…I thought I would’ve entertained that with him. He would’ve made an amazing father.

No, I corrected myself with a sharp breath. He will make an amazing father.

The tendrils of eather brightened in his irises. He dipped his head to mine, speaking low. “What’s wrong?”

Everything. “Nothing.”

He ran his hand up my back, slipping it under my hair. “That’s not true.”

I drew back, meeting his stare. “Don’t read my emotions.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not.” I totally was.

He arched a brow. “Liessa.”

“Nyktos,” I snapped, and one side of his lips kicked up.

“Are you two fighting already?” Saion asked.

Ash lifted his head. “No.”

“We’re about to,” I muttered at the same time.

“Yeah, they are.” Saion smiled at his cousin. “Told you they wouldn’t make it an hour.”

“Godsdamn it,” Rhahar grumbled.

Saion lifted a hand. “Pay up.”

Rhahar was shaking his head as he reached beneath his armor. “I need to be more cynical.”

I frowned as I glanced between the two. “Did you two…?” My brows shot up as Rhahar retrieved a few coins. “You two had a bet?”

“Yep.” Saion took the coins. “Rhahar believed you two would go all day without getting into it. I said you wouldn’t make it an hour without arguing about something—and that was being generous.”

“Wow,” Rhain murmured.

I turned to Bele.

Her hands flew up. “I had no part in this.” She paused. “But I do agree that Saion was being generous.”

Crossing my arms, I faced Ash. “These are your friends.”

His lips twitched as he eyed them. “Were.”

Rhahar laughed, and Saion made some wisecrack about being friends with a Primal of Death, but I…I could barely catch my breath as I stared up at Ash.

He’d just acknowledged them as friends.

He had never done that before, even going as far as to claim that he had no friends.

This interaction would mean very little to most, but it was huge for him. Ash had been taught that any connection could become a weakness that could be exploited. So, he’d always kept distance between himself and everyone else—everyone except Nektas.

I tilted my head, my gaze locking with the black-and-gray-scaled draken perched on the same cliff he had been on earlier. I could’ve sworn he smiled. It was kind of hard to tell while he was in his draken form, but those crimson eyes looked somber.

Drawing in a short breath, I looked at the crystal-clear blue waters. There was so much I wished I had time for. I would’ve loved to see Ash relax around his friends. Share dinner or drinks with them and discuss something other than war and violence. I would’ve liked to see Nektas’s eyes turn as blue as the sea again, and Aios, Ezra, and Marisol…

I really wished I had a chance to do some real bodily damage to Veses.

I sighed.

My gaze returned to Nektas. He was no longer looking at me but at the horizon. I turned my attention back to those before us.

Lailah was speaking with Kars, her head tilted. I wished I had gotten to know her better because I really wanted to know what in the realms was up between her and Attes. Bele stood, her arms crossed over her chest, the wind tossing her dark hair across her cheeks. The glow of eather in her eyes was almost as bright as Ash’s. I thought about Aios again and wished I could say goodbye. I looked at the cousins and felt my lips spread into a grin. They were saying something to Elias, likely talking shit to the guard. I saw Ehthawn, and my heart…gods, it ached for Orphine. Her death wasn’t fair.

But death rarely was.

Thinking of Ector, I felt my chest tighten as I focused on Rhain. He stood a little apart from the rest, his hair more red than gold in the sunlight. His hands were at his sides and close to the daggers strapped to his thighs. He looked my way, his gaze passing mine before darting back. I saw him swallow thickly and thought maybe he was thinking about what was to come.

The knot in my throat expanded. I wanted to linger, but we didn’t have much time, and I still had to talk to Ash privately. I still needed the time Nektas said was never a waste.

I reached over, touching Ash’s cool hand. His gaze came to mine. “Take me to my lake?” I whispered.

Ash’s jaw immediately tensed—all traces of amusement gone.

“You promised,” I reminded him.

He said nothing, but he nodded.

I took a shallow, stinging breath and turned back to those before us. Everyone had quieted. There were no smiles, and the air seemed to have thickened around us, suddenly full of tension and maybe even sorrow. They all knew what was coming. They all knew what kind of shape Ash would likely be in the next time they saw him.

I opened my mouth, but I didn’t know what to say. “Goodbye” didn’t seem adequate.

What did someone say when they knew it was the last time? I bet some people had speeches planned or eloquent words to be remembered by that would simply come to them, but I wondered how many could actually deliver those speeches or parting words when the time came. Because there were no words.

If Ector were here, he’d likely say something ridiculous. He’d make us all either laugh or curse.

I hoped he was at peace and happy.

I hoped I saw him again.

That fucking knot traveled to the top of my throat, causing my eyes to burn. I pressed my lips together.

Saion lifted his chin, a wan smile on his handsome face. “Safe travels.”

I nodded. It was all I could manage. I didn’t want their last memory of me to be one where I was a sobbing mess.

Rhain stepped forward, walking between the cousins. Brown eyes alight with eather locked on mine. Then, withdrawing a shadowstone sword, he crossed it over his chest and lowered to one knee, bowing his head.

I inhaled sharply.

Bele followed suit, sword in hand as she knelt. Then Lailah. What were they doing? Saion and Rhahar did the same, and I felt Ash’s fingers thread through mine. Behind them, Nektas lowered his horned head to the stone and patchy grass of the cliff. Ehthawn did the same, puffing out a smoky breath.

In unison, the gods held their swords level with their chests, their other hands folding tightly over the edges of the blades. Blood dripped in front of them, splashing off the rocky soil. Then it struck me, weakening my legs. My lips parted.

They were paying me honor and respect—the same I’d seen given to knights in Lasania upon their passing.

“With my sword and my life,” Rhain spoke, lifting his head. The others echoed his words. “I shall honor you.” Silvery, crackling eather erupted from his fingers, spreading across the sword. The blade collapsed first, and then the hilt turned to ash. “In blood and in ash, forevermore.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

A surprisingly cool mist dampened the air as we stood beneath a canopy of heavy branches.

The Dark Elms had quieted upon our arrival, the wildlife reacting to the presence of a Primal of Death and fleeing the woods. A few birds remained hidden in the tallest branches near my lake, calling softly to one another in the darkness.

Only fractures of moonlight penetrated the thick shadows of night. The dense thicket of elms obscured what lay beyond, but I knew I could easily find my way through the maze to Wayfair Castle. I was so close to Ezra.

To my mother.

I wanted to see my stepsister. Maybe even my mother. But what would I say to them? Even if I didn’t share my true reasons for visiting, Ezra would know that something was up. She was clever, and I didn’t want her last memories of me to be steeped in sorrow.

And my mother?

Any conversation with her likely wouldn’t go well. It would surely end in one of us saying something terrible, which meant that Ash would probably make good on his threat to send her to the Abyss before my life even came to its end.

But I didn’t have unlimited time. The last thing I wanted was to spend it upsetting Ezra or arguing with my mother.

I wanted to be with my husband.

A shaky breath left me as I lifted my gaze to him. Ash stood with his back to me, the line of his spine rigid as he stared at the still midnight waters.

He hadn’t wanted to come here, but he’d promised me. And he wouldn’t break that oath.

He’d been quiet since we left the Bonelands, shadowstepping us into the middle of the Dark Elms. He hadn’t said a word to the others when we left. My eyes stung with the tears I held back—that I’d been holding back.

In blood and in ash…

In life and death, forevermore.

What Rhain and the others had given me was beautiful. Powerful. It was better than recognition. It was an acknowledgment of who I was.

A warrior.

One worthy of respect and honor.

Gods, I couldn’t start crying now.

Quickly, I reached up and hastily wiped under my eyes. My fingers were only tinted red, so hopefully my face wasn’t smeared with blood tears.

Clearing my throat, I stepped toward the Primal. “Ash?”

There was a long moment of silence, and then he flatly stated, “Sera?”

His tone pulled at my heart. “I know we don’t have much time.”

“We have all the time.”

But we didn’t. He knew that. If someone hadn’t discovered Kolis yet, they would soon. And besides that? I was out of time.

“There’s something I want to talk about,” I said.

His head tilted back. “I’m listening.”

Knowing this was hard for him, I succeeded in tamping down my quick temper. “Really?” I bit out. Okay. I mostly kept my temper in check. “You’re listening, even though you won’t look at me?”

Ash turned so quickly that he was a blur. “Even if I’m not looking at you, you are still all I see,” he said, his features encased in harsh ice. “I see you, Sera. I always have.”

Love for him surged in my chest, causing my vision to blur. “Don’t do that.”

His head cocked. “Do what?”

“Say things like that—nice things. Sweet words,” I told him. “It’ll make me cry, and I don’t want to.”

Some of the coldness left his face. “I don’t want you to cry either.”

“Then don’t be nice.”

His brows lifted. “Should I turn around and give you my back again?”

“No!” I exclaimed. “I’ll get angry then, and I don’t want to do that either.”

He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as if holding back a smile. “Then what would you like me to do, liessa?”

Gods.

Every time he called me that, I melted. It still melted me, but it also made me want to cry. Briefly closing my eyes, I ordered myself to pull it together. “I know you’re mad.”

“I’m not mad.”

My lips pursed. “You’re not?”

“I’m…” Ash shook his head. “Okay. I’m mad. But not at you.”

“I know you’re not mad at me,” I said. “And I know you don’t want to be here. You don’t want to do what you have to do.”

His nostrils flared.

“But I also know that you understand it has to be done. If there’s any hope of stopping Kolis and saving the realms, stopping the Rot. This is it. And I don’t want to waste what time we have left arguing over what we already know,” I told him. “I want you to listen to what I must tell you.”

Ash twisted his neck to the side, then gave me a curt nod.

All right, that wasn’t a vocalization, but it was better than nothing.

“I want you to know I love you,” I started. His eyes slammed shut, and my hands began trembling. “And I will not stop loving you. I wish I’d told you more than I have—gods, I wish I’d recognized what I felt long before I did.”

“I know,” he said, the two words sounding as if torn from the depths of his soul.

I stepped forward. “And I want you to know that none of this is your fault.”

Ash’s chest rose with a deep inhale.

“None of it,” I repeated.

“Sera.” He let out a scathing laugh and opened his eyes. Shadows appeared beneath his skin. “Do you know what I’d rather be doing right now?”

I could hazard a guess. “Anything else?”

He shook his head. “Not just anything else. I’ve thought of things.”

“Like…like what?”

“Teaching you how to swim,” he said without hesitation. My chest squeezed. “Showing you more of Iliseeum. Returning to the cavern—I think you liked it there.”

“I did,” I whispered.

“I would rather be lying in bed with you, sitting on the palace balcony together, getting you to tell me all the things you haven’t shared with me about when you grew up. Training with you. Fighting with you. Even arguing with you.” The shadows deepened under his flesh. “But the only reason we’re standing here, having this conversation instead of doing all those things—exploring the innumerable ways I’ve dreamt of fucking you—is because of what I’ve done.”

My mind got stuck on a specific part of what he’d said. “What are some of those innumerable ways?”

The change that came over Ash was swift and heady. His chin dipped, his striking features warming as the shadows disappeared. “I’d be more than happy to show you.”

Heat swamped my veins, which was so not helpful at the moment. I shook my head.

“You sure?” His silky voice stretched out like a tendril of dark mist, brushing against me.

“Yes,” I forced myself to say. “Unfortunately.” I refocused. “Look, you made choices based on the knowledge you had. You didn’t do the wrong things.”

Shaking his head, he looked away. A muscle ticked in his jaw.

“It wasn’t even your father’s fault—not really. The Arae made it so he nor anyone who knew could tell you,” I repeated what I’d told him earlier. “You didn’t know any of this would happen.”

That muscle worked even harder.

“I don’t blame you.” I inched closer. “And I know this isn’t something I can convince you of. You need to come to the understanding—the acceptance. And I need you to because I want you to promise me something.”

He turned his head slightly toward me.

“I…I want you to live,” I began. “After Kolis is dealt with and you take your rightful place as King of Gods—”

“That is not my rightful place.”

“Ash—”

“It’s your rightful place.”

My brows slammed together. “What? I’m not a Primal. I’m not even a god.”

“But those embers?” Ash said. “They’ve become yours.”

Said embers hummed faintly throughout me, but I wouldn’t become that, even if Ash had his kardia and could Ascend me. The embers would likely cause my body to explode or do something else disturbing and gross. “And they will become yours.”

Lips thinning, he looked away.

“And I don’t want you to be alone after that happens.”

The eather in his eyes went flat. “What are you saying, Sera?”

“I’m…I’m saying that I want you to live. Really live, Ash.” I twisted my fingers together. “I want you to find a way to restore your kardia.”

“Good Fates.” He thrust a hand through his hair.

Undaunted, I pressed on and stopped in front of him. “And I want you to allow yourself to love.”

His hand fell, clenching into a fist. “You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

“I’m not.” I looked up at him. “I want you to allow yourself to love and be loved, Ash. You’re more than worthy of that. You deserve it. More than anyone I know.”

“I don’t give a fuck what I supposedly deserve,” he snarled, shadows bleeding through his flesh. “You’re seriously asking me to find a way to love another?”

“I am.”

He stared down at me, his chest heaving. “I…I could never do that.”

Pressure clamped down on my chest. “I need you to.”

“I cannot believe you would even ask this of me.” The shadows whipped under his skin. “Think that I would just be able to forget about you—”

“I’m not asking you to forget me. I don’t want that. I don’t want you to ever forget me.” I placed my hands on his chest, causing him to jerk as if burned. “But you’re going to live for a long time. I want you to be happy. That is important to me. Because I love you, Ash.”

“Fuck,” he rasped, the silver of his eyes was as bright as the moonlight reflecting off the waters of my lake, and the set of his jaw was as hard as the shadowstone beneath it.

“I love you.” Fighting back tears, I lifted my hands and cupped his face. His eyes closed briefly, thick lashes fanning his cheeks. “Knowing that you will be happy will allow me to find peace because you will have found peace.”

A heartbeat passed. Then another. His eyes finally opened. “I will find peace.”

I searched his eyes. That wasn’t exactly a confirmation. “Promise me you will do this for me.”

“Sera—”

“Promise me you will do as I ask,” I pressed, knowing that once he did, the oath would bind him. “Promise.”

An array of emotions skated over his face, too many for me to even decipher. “I promise.”

Before I could react or even think, his head dipped, and his lips locked with mine in a hard, fierce kiss. My mouth instinctively opened to him, and gods, the icy heat of his lips sent a sweet, hot flush through my body. The passion in his kiss was like a storm catching hold of me and sweeping me up to dizzying heights.

“That is one of the things I’d rather be doing. Kissing you. Feeling the way you melt into me. You want me to live? This is when I feel the most alive.” His lips brushed mine. “Like this, with you. Live with me. I need that. I need you,” he growled against my mouth.

I shuddered against him. “Time—”

“We’ll make time,” he swore. “We deserve that.”

My fingers trembled at his jaw. He was right. We did deserve that. And damn it, I wanted this. I wanted him as my last act in this realm. I wanted these memories. Not the time I’d spent in captivity. Nothing to do with Kolis. Not Ash’s anger and sadness. Not my reluctant acceptance of my fate. I wanted Ash and how he made me feel.

Seen.

Respected.

Wanted.

I should’ve had days and weeks of feeling this before the end came. I should’ve had a lifetime.

But I didn’t.

I had right now.

And I wasn’t going to waste it.

Tugging his head down, I brought his lips back to mine. No words were needed then. How I kissed him said it all.

Ash’s arms came around me, pulling me flush to his chest. His hand tangled in my hair. We kissed until my lips felt swollen and my pulse thundered. Only then did his mouth leave mine, trailing a path over the curve of my chin and down my neck.

A trickle of unease pierced the heat as he nuzzled my throat, nipping gently. It wasn’t even where Kolis had bitten me—and that shouldn’t matter. This was Ash. My mouth dried as I forced myself to take a deep breath, drawing in his scent. Citrus. Fresh mountain air. Gods, I’d never smelled anything better than him, and I was here with Ash. Only Ash.

My eyes fluttered open as he pressed a kiss to my throbbing pulse, then lifted his head.

Lashes swept up, and molten silver eyes locked with mine. I saw an urgency in his eyes, a firestorm of need and so much want. But he hesitated. Stark need etched deep lines into his striking features, but he…he waited.

For me.

“We don’t have to do this,” he said, his voice thick and rough. “Having you here and in my arms, kissing you? It’s enough.”

Oh, gods, he was going to make me cry.

Even without him speaking more, I knew why he’d said that. Why he held himself back despite what I’d told him. But Ash…gods, he knew it hadn’t been nothing. It was why he’d told me I was safe when we were in the cavern. He knew I hadn’t gotten free of Kolis without gaining a few fresh scars that couldn’t be seen but were embedded deep, nonetheless. He knew enough to make sure I was safe with him. And I was.

Gods, I couldn’t love him more.

And I couldn’t hate the realms more for taking me away from him than I did now. It wasn’t fair. But if I focused on that? On any of that bad stuff? I would be sacrificing what little time we had left that hadn’t already been stolen from us.

Swallowing the knot of emotion threatening to leave me a sobbing mess on the forest floor, I slid my hands down and grasped the front of his tunic. I tugged, and Ash obeyed, raising his arms. He bent, making it easier for me to tug the shirt free.

“Liessa,” he murmured as I dropped the clothing to the ground.

Holding his stare, I lifted my hands and hooked my fingers under the borrowed shirt I wore, drawing it up. The soft, well-worn material skimmed my stomach and then my breasts. He didn’t look away, not for one moment, as I pulled the shirt off, letting it fall beside his.

Ash’s chest rose sharply as his icy-hot gaze traveled, inch by inch, over the flesh I’d exposed for him. My nipples pebbled against the strands of my hair as I stood still, letting him look his fill—wanting him to. I waited, my heart pounding faster than it had in days.

Slowly, he lifted his fingers, catching the sides of my hair. His stare tracked his movements along the curls as he lifted them and brushed them back and over my shoulders.

My breathing picked up as I curled my fingers around his wrist. “Touch me.” I brought his hand to my breast.

Ash growled low in his throat at the contact, and my back arched, pressing me into his palm. “Like I said before, I’ll do whatever you ask of me,” he swore, wisps of eather spinning wildly in his eyes. He dragged his thumb over the tip of my breast. “Anything.”

I knew he spoke the truth.

He would do anything for me.

My stomach fluttered as he cupped my other breast. His eyes remained fixed on mine as I moved my other hand down the cool, hard skin of his chest, inching lower. His stomach muscles tightened under my palm. Reaching the band of his breeches, I found the clasp there and undid it with slightly shaking fingers. Ash worked his feet free of his boots, and then it was he who stood still as I drew his pants down.

Kneeling, I looked up, taking in the dusting of dark hair on his thick, muscular thighs. I found faint nicks in his skin—scars I’d never learn the story behind. I’d never know if he’d gained them before he Ascended, while he learned to wield a sword, or if something terrible had created them, but I cherished them nonetheless.

I leaned in, pressing my lips to the one on his knee and then the other just above it. Drawing my hands up the outsides of his legs, I paid homage to the inch-long scar on his inner thigh.