Текст книги "A fire in the flash"

Автор книги: Jennifer L. Armentrout

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Текущая страница: 23 (всего у книги 37 страниц)

“I already told you, I enjoyed—”

“I don’t care what you claim!” I shouted, and her eyes widened as a burst of energy left me, blowing Veses’ skirt back and causing the chandelier to swing. “You know what it feels like, and you still did it to someone else—someone you were once friends with. Yes, I know you two were close at one time. But that didn’t matter, did it?”

Her eyes widened as her gown settled around her feet. A moment passed. Then another. “It’s not like I hurt him.”

“You didn’t…?” My hands curled into fists. So help me gods, I was going to kill this bitch. I would find a way. “What did Kolis say? That despite how beautiful you are, you say such ugly things?”

Her chest rose with a deep inhale.

“He was right.” My body trembled with rage. “He just forgot to mention how ugly you are on the inside.”

Silvery essence poured into her veins. “You know nothing about me, little girl.”

“Little girl? I thought I was the fat girl,” I retorted. “And I know enough about you, Veses, to know just how depraved you are on the inside.”

“I’ve tried to protect Nyktos!” she shot back. “And I’ve done so at great risk to myself.”

“You tried to protect him by forcing him to allow you to feed off him? By getting off on it?” My heart thundered as I tried to rein my anger back in before I lost control completely. The last thing I needed was for Kolis to sense me using the embers. Damn it, he could’ve already noticed. “You’re a godsdamn mess.”

“And what are you?” Veses demanded, eather snapping into the air around her. “That’s a rhetorical question. I know what you are. A whore.”

I huffed out a dry laugh. “You really need to work on your insults, Veses. They’re truly pathetic.”

“It’s not an insult when it’s the truth. You had Nyktos. Was he not good enough? You had to take Kolis?”

“Take Kolis?” I cut myself off before I said anything she could use against me. I briefly closed my eyes. “Why are so many of you out of your minds?”

“That’s an offensive question.”

Head aching, I let it fall back. I stared at the bars above me. “I don’t understand most of the Primals, but you? I think I understand you the least.”

“You’re likely not intelligent nor worldly enough to even begin to understand me,” she quipped.

I sighed. “Again with the silly insults. You can do better.” I met her stare. “You want Kolis, but since you can’t have him, you go after his nephew—who also wants nothing to do with you. You seize the first opportunity to turn whatever friendship or companionship you once had with him into a nightmare, yet you claim to protect him? As if you care for him?”

“I do care for him,” she argued, her cheeks flushing. “He hasn’t had the easiest life for a Primal.”

“And you really did your level best to make it worse for him, didn’t you?” I had to count to five before I continued. “Is it because they share similar features, and you can pretend you’re with the one you really want?”

Veses looked away, her jaw flexing.

Dear gods, could it really be that? What Ash had claimed? Telling her she was messed up didn’t even capture what was going on in that head of hers. “That is even more pathetic than your insults, and I actually mean that in the most unoffensive way possible.”

Veses’ head snapped back to mine. “I can’t wait to see you die.”

I didn’t even acknowledge that. “Since Kolis has no idea about the deal you made while you were supposed to be keeping an eye on Nyktos, it’s not because you want to make Kolis jealous.”

“Kolis may not know about the deal, but he believes I’ve kept a very, very close eye on his nephew for him. He thinks we’ve been intimate.” She smiled tightly. “Something Nyktos hasn’t made any effort to deny.”

“So, it is to make Kolis jealous.”

She shrugged. “You have nothing to say about Nyktos not swaying Kolis’s belief?”

“No.”

“Come now, you may be in this cage, and Kolis may call you his graeca, but I know where your interests truly lie.”

I arched a brow. “I know why he wouldn’t attempt to change Kolis’s mind.”

“And you would know that because you love him,” she said, her stare unflinching. “Kolis may not know any better and may even believe that you just harbor a fondness for his nephew…”

Fucking Callum.

He hadn’t been in the chamber when I struck the deal, but he’d somehow found out, either by eavesdropping or from Kolis himself.

“But I know better.”

“You don’t know anything,” I sneered.

“Did you forget that I was there when you had your little breakdown after seeing Nyktos and me together?”

All the air went out of my lungs.

“Nyktos and Rhain were far too focused on getting to you and thought I’d left as ordered. Of course, I didn’t, nor did I fully realize it was you causing the entire palace to tremble at first. But once I saw you use the embers, I knew it had been you.” Her eyes gleamed. “And no one who harbors just fondness for another reacts that way. I would know. I leveled nearly half my Court when Kolis brought Sotoria back to life.”

My lips parted.

“So, our…violent reactions regarding the ones we love is something we have in common.”

There was nothing I could say to that.

“So, whether you’re really Sotoria or not doesn’t matter. Your heart already belongs to someone else,” she said. “And once Kolis realizes that? You’ll know just how sadistic Kyn can be.”

I inhaled sharply. “You sick bitch.”

“I’m not sick, Seraphena.” Her chin lifted. “I’m just tired.”

“Then go take a fucking century-long nap,” I snapped.

Veses’ laugh was far too sultry for our discussion. “I could never rest that long. I am too afraid of missing out on whatever is happening in the realm of those awake.”

I shook my head as the ache moved down the sides of my face. “I’m almost positive your ten minutes are up, so what is the point of this conversation? Other than to be a living, breathing annoyance.”

“It’s to warn you.”

“Of course.” I sighed.

“I will not lose Kolis to Sotoria again,” she said, her voice low. “I’d rather see him alone than have that.”

“Guess you weren’t telling the truth when you said you were happy for him,” I muttered dryly.

“Make all the snide comments you want. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m going to do everything within my power to wake Kolis up to what is so clearly evident to most of the realm,” she said. “That your heart, no matter who you really are, belongs to another. And I will not regret what becomes of you after that truth comes out.”

“Shocker.”

“But what I will regret is what it will do to Nyktos. What it is already doing to him.” The mocking, vindictive smile left her face. “Once Kolis realizes you’re in love with Nyktos, he will find a way to keep him. He won’t release him until Nyktos accepts it’s time for him to move on and you’re effectively dealt with.”

My stomach twisted into knots.

“Or you could just find a way to take yourself out of the equation,” she suggested. “Sacrifice yourself for Nyktos.”

Or I could make sure Kolis freed him before Veses managed to convince him of anything.

“Just something to think about.” Rubies glittering in her hair, she stepped back and swept her gaze over me. “I’d look better in that gown, by the way.”

“I’m sure you would,” I replied, speaking the truth. She would look better in a burlap sack.

Watching her leave, I remembered what Aios had said about Veses and Ash’s mother. That they had been friends, and Veses had been good at one time—well, as good as any Primal could be.

Veses wasn’t good anymore.

Maybe Kolis stealing the embers of life and Eythos’s death had aided in changing her. Or perhaps she wouldn’t be like this if she had rested for any real length of time. It was quite possible she could have remained decent if she hadn’t fallen in love with Kolis.

What had Holland said about love? Basically, that it was as equally awe-inspiring as it was horrifying.

I was so glad that my love for Ash meant I’d gotten a taste of what the awe-inspiring bit felt like. I couldn’t help but feel a little smidgen of pity for both Kolis and Veses, who only knew the awful side of it.

But Veses was right. Our love did make both of us capable of violence.

“Veses?”

She stopped at the door but didn’t look back.

“I just want you to know that…I am sorry for what was done to you in the Council Hall.”

Her back stiffened.

“But that doesn’t change that I will do everything in my power to see you burn before I die.”

Weary, I found myself without much of an appetite when the Chosen served supper, but I forced myself to eat what I could, knowing I needed to keep up my strength.

Because I had a feeling I should keep from taxing my body further.

I wouldn’t think about that, though. I already had enough on my mind after Veses’ visit.

As I readied myself for bed, I hoped I dreamt of Ash again. Holding that desire at the forefront of my mind, I walked from behind the privacy screen, my tired gaze moving from the darkened chamber beyond to—

Wait. The chandelier had been on when I went behind the canvas screen. Hadn’t it? I started to turn.

Kolis lay in the center of the bed, an arm thrust back, supporting his head. He had his long body stretched out, his ankles crossed. He looked as comfortable as a bug snug in a rug.

Choking on a scream of surprise, I jerked back a step as my hand flew to my chest.

“I startled you,” Kolis said with a smile.

My heart pounded. “You’re so observant.”

That practiced smile faltered but quickly returned. “It is one of my many skills.”

I didn’t care about any of his skills. “What are you doing in here?”

One eyebrow rose. “You’re asking what I’m doing in here, within the sanctuary I had built?” His head tipped to the side. “Surely, you’re not asking that.”

Keep your temper in check, I reminded myself as I folded an arm over my still-unsettled stomach. Especially with Veses’ newfound purpose in life. “I just wasn’t expecting you.” I glanced at the screen. How long had he been in here? While I’d made use of the privy? Undressed. Gods, I had to add that to the ever-growing list of things I could not think about. “I didn’t even hear you.”

“Being quiet is another talent,” he teased.

The hand at my side tightened. “It’s an impressive one.”

He practically beamed.

I forced my tone to be light. “I’m very tired, Kolis.”

“That’s perfect.” He reached over with a hand, patting the space beside him. “As am I. I know no deals have been struck, but I so enjoyed the last time we slept together.”

“I’m relieved to hear that,” I murmured, thinking it was ironic that he took such joy in something that haunted me. Or maybe it was more disturbing than ironic. “Speaking of deals—”

“My nephew is being prepared for release,” he interrupted. “It will happen very soon.” Golden eather swirled across his bare chest. “That is unless a reason arises for that not to happen—or more of a reason than what you have already given me.”

Visions of Veses’ gloating face danced in my head.

His eyes locked with mine. “Join me. I would be so…disappointed if you didn’t want to.”

I stiffened. What he didn’t say came across loud and clear. If I displeased him, it would become another reason to delay Ash’s release. My fingers curled against the material of the robe as I resisted shouting that he should go find Veses, who’d be more than glad to share a bed with him.

“You hesitate,” he stated flatly. “Do you not wish to be in my company?”

“It’s…it’s not that.” I hated him. Gods, I hated him. “I’m just nervous.”

He raised a brow. “About what, so’lis?”

“About what you expect from me. We have yet to get to know each other—”

“I only wish to sleep beside you, as we did last time.” The eather slowed in his eyes. “The virtue you cared little for when it came to my nephew and whomever else is safe with me.”

The implication of his words stung my cheeks.

And he knew it.

Saw it.

Because that tainted smile returned. “Unlike them, I am a gentleman.”

A laugh crawled up my throat. A very unwise one, but I didn’t get a chance to let it free.

“But do not think it doesn’t anger me that you were not as faithful as I, spreading those lovely thighs for whoever caught your eye,” he said. “It does. But I have chosen to forgive such missteps. You have no memory of who you were or what you meant to me.”

Okay.

There was a whole lot of what the fuck? in what he’d just said, but my mind skipped over the chauvinistic insults and latched on to one thing he’d said. “What do you mean you’ve been…faithful?”

“There has been no one since you.”

My mouth opened, but I had a hard time finding the right word, let alone processing what he’d just said.

Kolis chuckled. “The disbelief in your expression is endearing. I didn’t say I was a virgin, only that I have been with no other since I met you.”

If Kolis hadn’t been with anyone since he’d met Sotoria, which was a really long time ago, far more than just two hundred years, he might as well be a virgin.

Honestly, my shock had nothing to do with the virginity bit. Ash had been one when we met. Granted, the length of life he’d lived so far was not even a drop in the bucket compared to Kolis.

What stunned me was how deeply his obsession with Sotoria ran for him to stay faithful to someone he’d literally scared to death and then traumatized.

Was that what Veses had meant when she’d said she would rather see Kolis alone than with Sotoria? Because she knew that he’d truly been faithful?

Good.

Fucking.

Gods.

He and Veses were meant for each other.

“You should be honored to know this,” Kolis remarked, a hard edge creeping into his voice. “I would’ve been honored if I had learned you had remained chaste.”

Blinking, I snapped out of my stupor with a rush of anger. Ash’s response to my lack of chaste behavior couldn’t be any more different than Kolis’s.

“Have my words insulted you?” he asked. “I have only spoken the truth.”

“No, they have not.” And that was true. His words meant very little to me beyond the sting of initial disbelief and the anger his chauvinistic opinions generated.

Not saying another word, I went to the bed and lay down, my back to him.

A couple of moments of silence passed. “Do you normally sleep this way?” he asked. “On your side?”

“Yes.”

“On that side?”

I could sleep on either side, but I did favor my right. That was how I’d slept with Ash. With Kolis? I didn’t want to look at him, and I wanted my dominant hand free, just in case. I didn’t have to be concerned about that with Ash, not even before I realized I didn’t need to worry.

The bed shifted behind me, and I closed my eyes, bracing myself.

Kolis’s arm came around me. Another moment passed, and then his chest touched my back. His legs curled against mine, and I lay there, no longer focused on finding Ash in my dreams again. Instead, I fantasized about all the many, varied, and bloody ways I would hurt both Veses and Kolis before I died.

The problem was, those fantasies were difficult to make clear. It was unlikely I would accomplish both things before then because I…

I was on borrowed time that was quickly running out.

CHAPTER THIRTY

I stood in front of the vanity, staring at the pinkish-red streaking the clusters of foam.

My gums were bleeding.

Hand shaking, I reached for the cup and rinsed my mouth, then used the rest of the water to wash away the evidence of what Phanos had warned would happen. Whatever the ceeren had done for me was wearing off.

Either it was bound to happen, or there were other reasons. The injury sustained when I tried to escape? How long I’d slept afterwards? Using the embers? Kolis feeding on me? Regardless, I was once more barreling toward my Ascension.

I numbly pushed away from the vanity and changed into the first gown I retrieved from one of the chests, giving up on searching for a somewhat decent one.

As I walked to the table and picked up my glass, I eyed the platter of sugared fruits the Chosen had left after all the other plates were cleared. My appetite still hadn’t returned. I couldn’t recall my hunger being affected before, but Kolis’s recent punishment had likely played a role in what I knew was true, as did worrying about what Veses was up to. I was further along in my Ascension now, and all the other symptoms made sense. The headaches. The tiredness. I just hadn’t wanted to connect them because it meant time was running out.

I would go through my Ascension, and I wouldn’t survive. Sotoria would be lost, and the embers…

There would be no hope for the mortal realm.

Surprisingly, my mind didn’t linger there—on the most serious of the consequences. I didn’t even think about Ash. My thoughts went to the Ascended.

If I started to die and was still here with Kolis, he would take the embers and attempt to Ascend me.

I drifted closer to the bars, thinking about what Delfai had said: that the embers had melded with me. I’d have to be entirely drained for someone to remove them. My heart would stop. According to Kolis, the Ascended never died like the Revenants did. I’d forgotten that in my initial panic upon hearing Kolis’s plans.

There was some relief in remembering that. At least I wouldn’t come back as a being swept up in bloodlust.

Hopefully.

Because there was so much I didn’t know. Like what Kolis had shared about the Ancients, or the fact that Kolis’s blood could give life—I thought about Callum. Well, it sort of could. Even if there was only a sliver of a chance that Kolis could somehow pull off what he planned, it was a chance.

I took a sip, swallowing water that tasted like mixed fruit today. About to refill the glass, I heard the sound of footsteps. A moment later, I felt the embers pulsing in my chest.

Focusing on my breathing, I emptied my thoughts and became no one as I stepped back from the bars.

Kolis entered the chamber alone, his white linen pants hanging loosely from his hips, but I could see the shoulders of the men standing guard in the hall.

“So’lis,” he greeted with a warm, breezy smile. “You look lovely today.”

“Thank you,” I replied, my tone matching his. At least two days had passed since Veses visited me. I hadn’t seen Kolis at all yesterday, not until whatever constituted night here fell, and he showed yet again to demand that I sleep beside him.

He’d held me even tighter last night than the one before.

I had no idea where he’d been in the meantime or if Veses had gotten to him.

Strangely, I also hadn’t seen Callum since her visit.

Kolis’s steps slowed as he approached the cage door. “Though you do look quite tired.”

I blinked slowly at the criticism creeping into his voice.

“Did you not sleep well last night?”

I knew better than to tell the truth: that I’d only managed to doze and was unable to sleep deeply with him present. “I slept fine. I’m not sure why I look tired.”

“Then perhaps this will help.” He unlocked the cage. “I thought you might like to go for a walk.”

Go for a walk.

Like a dog.

If he were anyone else, I would’ve kicked him in the throat. Instead, I smiled. “That would be nice.”

And it would be. Any chance to leave the cage was an opportunity to see more of my surroundings.

“Good. Come.” He motioned me forward.

I did as he ordered, taking note of the guards. Elias was there, as always. This time, the other was the Revenant, Dyses. His eyes looked even paler in the fading sunlight.

“Where has Callum been?” I asked.

“I sent him away for a few days to handle something important for me,” he said, not elaborating on the task. “I figured you two could benefit from some space.” He looked down at me, his stare suddenly sharp. “Perhaps be less inclined to disobey me.”

Disobey him…?

Damn it, he had felt me using the embers when I’d spoken to Veses. Except he believed it was a result of my interactions with Callum.

Which meant that he remained unaware of Veses’ visit. It could possibly even mean that Veses hadn’t begun her campaign against me.

Despite how demented she was, Veses was smart enough not to launch an all-out verbal attack against me. She’d immediately arouse Kolis’s suspicions, and not in the way she wanted. But I was willing to bet she’d already been whispering in his ear, laying the groundwork.

Something else struck me as Kolis led me down the same path we’d taken to the Council Hall. The color of the Revenants’ eyes could only be described as a lifeless shade of blue. Emphasis on lifeless. I’d seen the eyes of the dead before, how they first fixed on the beyond and then glazed over. I’d seen the color change, or at least appear to. A film of sorts settled over them, the color a milky, bluish-gray.

Almost identical to a Revenant’s.

Was that because they had died?

I glanced behind us, relieved to see that only Elias followed. What I wanted to ask seemed sort of rude to ask in front of Dyses. “Can I ask you something about the Revenants?”

“Of course.” Kolis walked slowly, allowing me to keep pace beside him.

“Callum explained to me that Revenants are not in need of food or blood,” I began.

“They aren’t,” he confirmed as we passed under the palms’ broad leaves. “They have no need of anything that sustains either mortals or gods. Not even sleep.”

My brows knitted. “Then what of less-tangible things? Like companionship?”

“As in friendship? Love? Sex? No.”

Dear gods. “That sounds…”

“Wonderful?” He smiled. “Their lives are no longer tethered to the needs of the flesh or the wants of the soul. They’re driven only by the desire to serve their creator.”

Yeah, I wasn’t thinking wonderful at all. More like horrific.

“You don’t think so?” he asked as we approached the diamond-encrusted wall. The sparkling buildings of the city came into view.

I knew better than to breathe too deeply. The scent of decay was in the air.

“I…I just can’t imagine not wanting anything.” I honestly couldn’t as we turned toward the colonnade. “Not feeling anything.”

“I imagine it’s rather freeing,” he remarked as we climbed the short, wide steps.

I could barely keep my expression blank. While I’d wished I didn’t feel anything many times in my life, I couldn’t imagine a near eternity of feeling nothing. The mere thought of it caused my chest to constrict.

Forcing my breathing to even out and slow, I considered what Kolis had shared as we entered the hall of what I assumed was the main part of the sanctuary. The Revenants may be reborn and able to walk and talk and serve, but they were without wants and needs, and that was nothing more than a poor imitation of life.

Kolis had called the Craven the walking dead, but in reality, the Revenants were such.

Which was why Kolis hadn’t wanted to turn me into one of them. What came back had no soul. Revenants were just reanimated flesh and bones.

Gods, I felt sorry for them. I probably shouldn’t, because if there truly were no souls in them, then they weren’t people. They were just things—something that shouldn’t exist—but I did.

The hall was much quieter today, with only a few faint moans echoing from the shadowy alcoves. “But Callum is different,” I said, remembering both he and Kolis saying as much.

He nodded as we stopped by one of the curtained recesses. He drew the covering back, revealing a door. “Callum is full of wants and needs,” he replied dryly. “Just as you and I.”

So, Callum at least lived.

“And you truly don’t know why he turned out differently than the others?”

Kolis opened the door with a wave of his hand. “I don’t, but…” He sighed loudly before looking over my shoulder at Elias. “You can wait here.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

Unnerved that I would be alone with him, I waited for Kolis to elaborate as we came upon a narrow, spiral staircase.

Luckily, he was feeling chatty. “I believe motivation plays a role. The why behind the creation of the Revenants,” he explained, making his way up the staircase. “And I think it’s because of what my brother said once about creating life. That there is a little bit of magic in creation.”

Trailing a hand over the smooth marble banister, I eyed his back. It was always odd to hear him speaking of Eythos without bitterness or anger and instead with wistfulness.

“A part that was unknown and unplanned. Magic of the realms—in the eather of it all,” he said, the statement reminding me of something Holland would say. “Eythos claimed that whatever the creator felt at the time of creation often shaped it. That even a hint of joy, sorrow, desperation, or anger could mold the life of the creation before it even began,” he said, following the winding path of the staircase as a faint sheen of sweat broke out on my forehead. “When I create the Revenants, I feel only duty. But with Callum, I felt…I felt everything. Desperation. Anger. Sorrow. Even joy at being close to one who shares your blood.”

My lip curled.

“Eythos would say what I felt when returning life to Callum is why he’s different. That my emotions brought who he was back when I restored his life.”

Up ahead, the light of dusk filled the landing. “But I don’t think that’s right.”

“Why?” My leg muscles cramped, either from lack of use or from the tiredness Kolis had commented on.

“Because I have made myself feel those things when creating other Revenants,” he explained, reaching the landing several steps before me. “And none have become like Callum, no matter what I feel or think at the time.”

My lips pursed. He truly didn’t know why. It was so obvious to me. What he felt when resurrecting Callum had been real. The other times? Emotions could only be faked to a point, and even if one managed to convince others of it, even themself, it didn’t make the emotion real. I knew that better than anyone.

But Kolis? He may have understood emotion at one time, but he didn’t now.

“Either way,” Kolis said, facing me, “I suppose it is a blessing. I prefer my Revenants the way they are.”

Of course, he did.

“You are tired,” he noted as I finally reached the landing. “And out of breath.”

Gods.

“It’s unnecessary to point that out,” I muttered. “I hate stairs.”

The golden flecks in his eyes glowed. “You weren’t a fan of them before, either.”

Most weren’t.

“But I hope you will enjoy what I have to show you.” He walked out of an archway, dipping his head.

If he’d had this sanctuary built, did he not consider his height and massive head? I rolled my eyes.

Legs feeling like jelly, I followed him out onto what appeared to be a terrace—one elevated above the sanctuary wall.

Aching muscles forgotten, I crossed the patio floor and went to the waist-high balcony. I could see much of the city: the stunning crystalline towers, the circular structures with their sweeping pillars, and the shorter, squatter buildings that glittered in the fading sunlight. I looked down. Even the streets glinted.

Wordless, I turned to look behind us. There, I saw more of the glimmering buildings, the domes of Cor Palace, and eventually, the tops of the statues guarding the city and the patch of the golden trees of Aios. That wasn’t the only thing I saw, though.

Beyond the statues and trees, where a barren stretch of sandy land gave way, a thick mist smothered much of the ground that led to the mountains. A range that made the Elysium Peaks look like nothing more than hills in comparison.

It had to be the Carcers.

My breath caught as my gaze swept over the steep, slate-gray cliffs and deep, dark green, heavily forested ridges. I saw no roads in the mountains, but I caught glimpses of something darker through the trees blanketing the sides and plateaus. Patches of emptiness that absorbed what light penetrated the forest, turning those spots into abysses that glinted.

Shadowstone.

A bone-chilling screech drew my attention upward. Perched on one of the cliffs, a pale brown draken stretched its long neck, snapping at another who flew too close. Farther up, near the crest of the Carcers, two more circled.

I exhaled heavily, returning my attention to the pitch-black spots. That was where Ash was. My heart started pounding with relief and also frustration. Just witnessing where he was being held shook me, but seeing what it would take to reach him if he weren’t freed was devastating.

“What do you think?” Kolis asked.

Clearing my throat, I dragged my gaze away from the mountains and back to the city—its silent buildings and empty streets. “It’s beautiful,” I whispered. “It looks like it’s made of glass.” Taking a deep breath, I looked up at him. “You said the Fates killed most who lived here?”

Kolis nodded.

“Why would they do that?” I pressed when he didn’t explain. “I was under the impression they couldn’t intervene in that way.”

He snorted. “They can do as they please, whenever they want, especially when they believe the balance has been unsettled.” His eyes tracked across the top of my head and then down my face. “And their methods of righting things can be extreme.”

Thinking of what Attes had said, I looked over the narrow roads constructed of diamonds. “What were they attempting to return balance to?”

“When I took the embers of life and the crown, I gave the gods who lived here,” he said, extending an arm, “within the City of the Gods, a choice. They could serve me faithfully and loyally and live. Or they could refuse and die.”

I stared at him.

“Half of them refused. I killed them,” he stated, giving a slight cough as if to erase a thickness gathering in his throat. “It displeased the Arae, so they wiped out those who pledged their loyalty to me.”

My stomach twisted. I would never understand how the Arae went about righting what they believed wrong, but something in his voice left me uneasy. “Do you…do you regret killing those who didn’t pledge their loyalty?”

Kolis didn’t answer for a long moment. “I could’ve sentenced them to imprisonment. Given them a chance to rethink their decisions.” A muscle ticked along his jaw. “I could’ve given them time. I do believe life is important. I acted rashly. One would say I’m often wont to do that.”

I was still staring at him. “Well, acknowledgment is half the battle,” I murmured, unsure what to think of any of what had been said as I returned my gaze to the city, Cor Palace, and the Carcers.

Maybe Kolis regretted killing those gods because of how the Arae had responded. Perhaps he truly wished he’d done things differently, no matter what. Either way, he sounded as if he valued life.

And yet, I’d seen him kill so easily. That told me he didn’t.