Текст книги "Rule"

Автор книги: Jay Crownover

Соавторы: Jay Crownover
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Текущая страница: 4 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

“I know who you are, you know.  Shaw might think she’s clever but she has a picture of all three of you boys in her room on her nightstand and her parents have told me multiple times about her unhealthy attachment to you and your family.  Her father has even threatened to stop paying for school for her if she keeps showing such questionable judgment in who she spends time with, this little encounter might just seal the deal.”  I had to give the creep credit.  On my own I was a fairly intimidating guy, surrounded by guys that were just as big and a hell of a lot more used to physical violence than he obviously was, the little puke held his ground.  “I don’t know what her fascination with a freak like you is, but it’s time for her to outgrow it.  She belongs with someone like me, not someone that can’t go through a metal detector without clearing out their face.”

Nash snickered and Rowdy laughed outright. I just shook my head a little and lifted up my mouth in a twisted grin.  “I think she belongs with someone more interested in getting into her pants than into her daddy’s wallet.  Shaw’s a good girl and she has a good head on her shoulders.  The fact she wouldn’t let you even round first base in six months is pretty telling bro.  From the sounds of it you would have better luck taking her folks on a date than her.  Look she’s like family and I don’t like it when people mess with my family.  This is a friendly little chat because we’re on a public street and I’m feeling generous, next time it won’t be public and my generosity has a time limit.  Leave her alone, end of story.”

He looked like he wanted to argue, wanted to say something back put the mountain of a human being that was clearly the bouncer for the bar came around the corner.  He looked at the guys on the car and the heated polo shirt and shook his head.

“Enough.  You four go back in, Ayden told me what was going on so your tab is on me.  You,” he pointed a meaty finger at Gabe.  “You are no longer allowed at the Goal Line, consider yourself 86’ed.  If Shaw doesn’t want you here I don’t care how much you got in your wallet or what kinda pull your old man has this is my house and you aren’t welcome.  Next time you want to get all up on one of my girls, put your hands on them you won’t have to worry about these guys because I’ll make sure they never find your body, understand?”

Even I didn’t question that this monster meant business so polo shirt gulped and nodded his head slightly.  My boys pushed off the car and Nash ‘accidentally’ shoved into him as they made their way over to where I was standing.  Gabe swore and jumped into his car.  He pulled away from the curb and flipped us all the bird as he squealed into traffic.  The bouncer looked me up and down and flicked his impassive gaze over our motley crew.

“You friends with Shaw?”

I mean we weren’t friends exactly but it was as close as any other explanation so I shrugged and answered, “Sure.”

He nodded.  “I’m Lou.  I look out for the girls that work here, Shaw and Ayden just happen to be two of my favorites.  They’re good girls; work hard here and at school.  They aren’t here just to show their asses and get into trouble and I respect that.  I don’t let anyone mess with those two; in fact I take it personally when someone tries to.”

I wasn’t sure why he was telling me all this but frankly he was one scary mother so I kept my mouth shut and just kept making eye contact.

“Shaw is a sweet kid but she tries to do too much by herself and if that asshole keeps bothering her she’ll just suffer it in silence.”  Now he was looking at me pointedly so I lifted an eyebrow.  “I wanna know if something needs to be done about him.”

“Shaw and I aren’t exactly close like that.  She wouldn’t tell me something like that.  You might want to have this talk with her roommate.”

“I’m having it with you, son.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that but just as I was about to say something sarcastic back the doors to the bar opened and the middle aged guys in the jerseys came spilling out and got between us.  Lou gave me one last direct look that I couldn’t help but take as him meaning business and went back inside.  I looked back at my friends and sorta threw my hands up in the air.

“See what you miss when I go out of town on Sunday?”

All three of them burst into laughter and Jet decided it was time for us to move onto another bar so I had to run in and get my card from Shaw.  The guys pitched in ten bucks each for me to give her as a tip so I wound my way back to the bar where she was talking to another waitress; this one had honey-gold colored hair and was dressed in the cheerleader uniform.  Shaw stopped midsentence and looked at me through narrow eyes, I grinned at her and handed her the money.  “You bouncer friend picked up our tab but the boys wanted to make sure you got taken care of.”

She handed me  the AMX card back.  “What did you do to Gabe?”

“Nothing.”  She sighed and I didn’t even try to not watch the way it stretched her tiny little uniform across her chest.

“Well thanks for intervening; I don’t know what his problem is.”

The cheerleader was having sex with me with her eyes, and while I was normally totally a fan of hot chicks doing that to me I barely even registered her because Shaw was bending over to get her drinks and the ruffles on her butt were suddenly the only thing I could see.  She was short so I never really thought about her having such great legs, but they were toned and curved just right and given enough time I could work up some seriously awesome fantasies involving those legs and those boots and nothing else.

“His problem is you’re hot, richer than hell, have parents that are connected out the ass and you wouldn’t put out.  You not only left him physically hard up but blue-balled his visions of playing golf with your dad at the country club and sitting next to your mom at the republican convention.  You dismantled everything he was trying to build.”

She flipped one of her pig-tails out and picked up a tray full of drinks.  “I gotta get back to work.  You think we can ever have a Sunday not filled drama and fights?”

I ran a hand over my messy hair and shook my head ruefully.  “Sunday’s have never been a great day for me.  I’ll catch you later, Shaw.”

“Bye Rule.”

I made my way back out of the bar thinking that it was probably the first time since I had met her when she was just a kid that I had ever seen Shaw be Shaw and it made me a little nervous that when she didn’t have all her guards up and all her haughty defense mechanisms in place she seemed so fallible, so undeniably human, so approachable and so…attainable.

Chapter 4

Shaw

I counted the pile of money in front of me for the fifth time.  I was having a hard time concentrating for a couple reasons; one was that the bar had gotten busy so I had stayed two hours past when I was scheduled off so I was dragging, the second was that there were ten other girls all trying to cash out around and the chatter was like a swarm of bees buzzing about purses and boys, the third was Ayden kept watching me like a hawk, looking for something but I didn’t know what and the final was that Loren Decker, my post high school Amy Rogers wouldn’t stop talking my ear off about Rule.

Loren was a living, breathing centerfold and was what happened when mean girls left high school and entered the real world.  She was vapid, boring and made more money than most of us combined when she was on the schedule because her job was to be flirty and come across easy things that were hardly a stretch and for some reason she was dying to get every single detail I possessed about Rule.  She wanted to know how I knew him, wanted to know how come he had never been in the bar before, wanted to know how old he was, what he did for a living, if we were dating, if he had a girlfriend, if he liked blonds and so on and so forth.  It was endless, exhausting and I think it bothered me that yet another bimbo was just tripping over herself to fall on him.  While I knew my feelings for him were my burden to bear alone, I wasn’t about to offer up my slutty coworker on a platter so I just kept grunting responses and evading all the personal questions, which unfortunately didn’t stop her from rambling about how gook looking he was.

“I mean I don’t normally go for guys with all those tattoos and piercings like that, but oh my God those eyes, have you ever seen anything like them?  They’re like glacial ice, so pretty! And his body, I bet he works out, I mean I normally like a guy with a six pack but that tall lean thing totally works with his look.  What kind of girls does he normally go for?  Are you sure he doesn’t have a girlfriend?  Seriously Shaw I just want to lick that hoop he has in the side of his lip, like so freaking bad.  I can’t believe you’ve been friends with someone that sexy and haven’t gotten a piece, that’s like against nature.”

I hadn’t gotten a piece of anyone ever, not that she needed to know that.  Guys had tried, I had been tempted but every time I was close to sealing the deal my brain short circuited and reminded me that they weren’t who I really wanted and I shut down like a light going off.  I looked up at her and narrowed my eyes.

“Lore I’m trying to do my cash out, can this wait?”

“Just give me his number.”  I was close to losing it and ready to shove the pile of ones down her throat when Ayden must have sensed the storm brewing.  She settled in the seat next to me and leveled the blond with a dark look.  There was just something about Ayden that made people pay attention to her, whatever it was I loved her for it.

“Lore give the girl a break.  It’s not like their besties.  If you wanted to ask him out you should’ve done it while he was here.”

She made a face that probably made guys buy her things but made me want to roll my eyes.  “I would’ve but he was too busy checking out Shaw’s ass, that’s why I asked what was going on between them.  I mean he didn’t even give you a hug or anything when he left but you looked at each other like you were about to start making out any second.”

Startled I looked up at Ayden.  Since when did Rule who normally ignored me, or pretended I didn’t exist start checking anything on me out?  She lifted her eyebrow.

“If Shaw runs into him any time in the near future I’m sure she’ll pass it along that you want his number or she can just give him yours if he’s interested, now let’s talk about something really important, what do you want to do for your birthday?  It’s only two weeks away.”

I groaned and gave up on trying to get an accurate count out.  Instead I just handed the money to Ayden and started sorting and stapling the credit card slips which took far less brain power.  I hated my birthday.  Normally it was a fight between which parent and step parent I was going to spend an awkward dinner with, that was when they bothered to remember, last year I just got a card from dad with a check for a grand in it and a call from my mother with a promise of something when she found time, there was never time.  Ayden had ended up taking me for sushi and we went to see some stupid romantic comedy and the day went by lack luster and unmemorable.  Even the Archers tended to be low key on my birthday I think it reminded them that another year had passed and that Remy was still gone.  Rome always sent me something from whatever part of the world he was in and to this date those were always my favorite gifts.  I guess since I was turning twenty this year I should try and make a big deal about it, I just didn’t want to.

“Why don’t we go dancing?”  I looked at Loren like she had grown a third head.  I didn’t really socialize with the girls from work, not because I didn’t like them, some of them were really sweet and most of them were just like me and Ayden struggling to pay bills and balance college, but they were normally young adults into drinking, partying, meeting guys, going out and doing all the things that just didn’t register for me.  I didn’t need any more people in the world thinking I was fundamentally broken so I just avoided those social interactions.

“Uh I don’t dance.”

Ayden scowled at the blond.  “Plus who invited you?”

She blinked heavily lashed eyes and wrinkled her nose.  “I thought maybe since it’s your birthday Mr. Tall, Dark and Tattooed would be around.  I’m telling you ladies I’m in stage four lust and it can’t be cured.”

Ayden and I shared a look and I went back to my stapling.  “No, my birthday isn’t a big deal so Rule won’t be around.  I like to keep it low key.”

“You mean boring.”

I wasn’t friends with Loren, in fact I wasn’t even particularly fond of her so I was about to tell to stick her where the sun didn’t shine which was totally against character for me, but Ayden just kept on talking like Loren wasn’t even there.

“Come on Shaw, let’s do something fun.  You know your parents are just going to stress you out and you only turn twenty once.  It should be fun and exciting.”  She had a glimmer in her amber eyes that I knew she was cooking something up that I would be hard pressed to talk her out of.  I shoved the piles of paper into the drop bag and took the money Ayden handed me and did my tally.  We always made good money, but for whatever reason today had been very profitable.  I pulled my hair out of the ties and raked my nails across my scalp.

“Let’s talk about it later, okay?  I just want to find Lou to walk us out in case Gabe decided to show back up and head home.”

“You think he will?”

She hooked her arm through mine and we made our way to the main entrance.  “Do you think he would have the nerve to do that?  I mean Rule and his friends seemed pretty intent on getting the point across that he back off and Lou told him to scram or he was gonna call the cops.”

“I don’t know, Ayd.  He’s acting crazy.  I never would have thought he would show up here and try and be all grabby and in my face.  I don’t know what’s going on anymore.  I mean it isn’t like we had some great romance and I left him heart broken or anything.  We were lukewarm on our best days.  Rule thinks he’s embarrassed that I dumped him plain and simple.”

“He’s probably right.”

I made a face as Lou escorted us to my car.  We said goodbye and headed home.  I was trying so hard to make decisions that were best for everyone, I wanted Rule to have the love and support of his family, I wanted Margot to get help and stop vilifying her son, I wanted Gabe to get over his deal and just move on and mostly I just wanted to have everyone else be okay so I could stop feeling so responsible for it all.

***

The next week went by in a blur.  I had two tests, I picked up an extra shift at work and I was doing a very complicated game of dodge the ex because Gabe also went to DU and even though he was prelaw and typically on the other end of campus for some reason he seemed to be popping up around every corner.  He called me at least twice a day and I was considering getting a new number but it seemed like such a hassle that I just sent his calls to voicemail and got really good at pretending I didn’t seem him.

Rome called and said Margot wasn’t doing any better.  She was flat out refusing to go see a grief counselor and was now blaming Rule for the fact that I refused to come to Brookside on the weekends.  According to him she was insisting he had somehow brain washed me and turned me against her.  He wasn’t comfortable leaving her alone just yet even though Rule was harassing him to come and hangout I could tell he was feeling the familiar tug I often felt of being caught between his brother and his mom.  I was bummed he wasn’t going to be around on my birthday but he had so much on his plate I didn’t say anything.

When the weekend rolled around I was tempted to give my Sunday shift away just to avoid one more weekend of drama, but the bar was busy and if Rule came in with his friends I didn’t see him.  It was still weird not having to wrangle him for family brunch every Sunday but when my shift was over and there hadn’t been any headaches or any accusations and hurt feelings I breathed the first sigh of relief I had in what felt like years.  I was feeling so mellow I let Ayden talk me into skipping a study group and going to grab Mexican food instead.  It was the first time in forever that I just felt like me and I almost didn’t know what to do with myself.

Since it was the start of a new semester I felt like I was drowning in homework so I gave away my Friday shift and my Sunday shift, I didn’t work this Saturday since it was my birthday and everyone at the bar knew that Lou just loved me and would murder anyone that tried to make me work on the day I turned twenty.

By the time Friday afternoon rolled around I still hadn’t heard from either of my folks so I figured I was off the hook for forced family time, but I had received a text from Margot asking me to reconsider Sunday this week for my birthday.  I had replied I would gladly come if Rule was invited as well and hadn’t heard anything back.  Ayden was being secretive about what she had planned and it was making me nervous.  I would’ve been happy with sushi and the movies again but she kept insisting that we needed to branch out, have an adventure, and do something new.  Those words and her take no prisoners attitude seemed like a recipe for disaster but I was trying to stay positive because she was only trying to be nice to me and she was an amazing friend.

I was walking out of my anatomy class and texting one of the girls from work to remind her that she was working my closing shift tonight when I bumped into someone and immediately recoiled in fear and irritation.  Gabe was standing in front of me looking as wrinkle free and immaculately groomed as always.  His dark hair looked like he had been running his hands through it none stop and when he reached out to steady me I scrambled back so fast that I almost fell backwards onto my ass.

“What are you doing?”  I wanted to sound indignant and hostile, but my voice cracked and I had to clear my throat to regain my composure.  His blue eyes searched mine intently and I wondered how I had ever found him attractive when now he just weirded me out.

“Uh, you aren’t returning any of my calls and you’ve been really hard to pin down lately.”

“That’s because I don’t want to talk to you or see you.  Get out of my way.”

“Shaw, wait.”  He held up a hand and dug something out of his pocket and held it out towards me.  “I know your birthday is tomorrow and I just wanted to get you something to say I’m so sorry for how I’ve been acting.  I was just crazy that you might have moved on to that freak but your mom explained it isn’t like that between the two of you.  Here take it.”  He shoved the velvet box towards me and I backed away like he was holding a live snake in his hands.

“I’m not taking that from you, I’m not taking anything from you.  Leave me alone Gabe, I’m serious.”

“Look Shaw you can’t honestly believe there can ever really be anything between you and that guy.  Your mom told me you’ve been carrying a torch for him for years and that he’s never even looked twice at you.  You’re just not his type, you’re too good for him and he knows it.  Just give me another chance; we make so much sense together.”

I wanted to punch him but I just let the ice that traveled through me at his words coat all the anger I felt starting to build.

“No.”  I didn’t say anything else, just ‘no’, because I didn’t need to explain myself or my feelings or the fact that I knew most of what he said about Rule was true.  I wasn’t too good for him, I was just too, ME for him to ever look at as anything other than how he did and I had had to make peace with that years ago.  I took a few more stumbling steps backwards and then turned on my heel and broke into a full on jog to get away from him.  I think he called my name but I didn’t care I just bolted.  He was starting to really freak me out and the fact that my own mother was giving out the most intimate details of my life to him just made me wanna vomit.  I couldn’t believe that a woman that didn’t even bother to make note of when I was moving out of her house because college was starting noticed how I felt about Rule when he was clueless and it just raked across my ego like razors.  If Gabe didn’t knock it off I was going to have to look into changing my phone number and possibly getting a restraining order against him.

When I got home the apartment was empty so like a dork I made sure all the doors were double locked and that the deadbolt on the front door was closed.  I hid out in my room and did homework and wallowed in the self-pity that was threatening to drown me.  I didn’t consider myself an overly outgoing or optimistic person; it came from years of being over looked at home and socially awkward at school.  For a while Remy had managed to pull my head out of the privileged shell I normally coward in and I had thought for sure that when I left Brookside and went off to college I would come into my own, only Remy had died and I was still trying so hard to be all kinds of things to people that just didn’t seem to appreciate my efforts.  I dressed nice and minded my p and q’s so that my parents wouldn’t totally forget I existed.  I babysat Rule and put up with his awful behavior because I wanted Margot and Dale to remember that he needed and deserve their love just as much as Remy had.  I wore a ridiculous outfit to work and put up with silly girls and drunk customers because Ayden deserved a solid roommate that she could rely on and mostly I acted like interacting with Rule, watching him plow his way through the greater population of young adult women of Denver didn’t bother me, didn’t kill something side me and doing all those things day in and day out was starting to turn the little bits that were really me into a shadow.

I knew the reason I had initially agreed to go out with Gabe was because he in a very vague sense reminded me of Rule.  He had dark hair, light eyes and while he was preppy and clean cut all the way he still had a little bit of mischief in him that just got past my normal reservations.  I had known within the first few dates there was no spark, there never was because I was always looking for something, or rather someone that wasn’t there, but Gabe was polite and comfortable until I hadn’t wanted things to get physical.  Six months was a long time to string someone along, I knew that, but it didn’t justify the bizarre obsessive behavior he was showing now and it was just one more burden I felt I had to shoulder.

I was so ready to just let it all go. I changed into a pair of sweats and curled up on the bed to watch some Netflix, knowing that Ayden wouldn’t be home from her shift until after two leaving me to pout alone.  I should be out and about, should have a phone full of friends I could call to spend a rare Friday night off with, but I didn’t and that was just sad.  All I needed was a couple of cats and a pint of ice cream to make the pathetic picture complete.  Sometime after my second romantic comedy and Chinese delivery I vowed to fully embrace whatever Ayden had in store for me for my birthday tomorrow because what I was doing now was just sad.  My roomie was right, I needed some fun, needed to lighten up and however she decided to make that happen I was on board for.  I fell asleep watching yet another dorky girl get a fantastic make over because for whatever reason the guy couldn’t see how beautiful she was under her glasses and messy hair.

I woke up the next morning to happy birthday texts from Rome and my father.  As usual there was nothing from my mom and I hated to admit I was sad that Margot didn’t send one.  I decided to make breakfast.  I was surprised by a beautiful bouquet on the kitchen table and recoiled when I saw who the card was from.  I was seriously going to have to do something about Gabe.

Ayden was an early riser; she went running every morning no matter how late she got in from work the night before.  She motioned to the flowers with her mug and scowled.  “They were on the door step when I got back from my run.”

“I know.  I think I might have to get a restraining order.”

“Isn’t his dad a judge or something?”

I sighed.  “Yeah.”  Getting Gabe to back off might be harder than I thought.  “Do you want me to make breakfast?”

She shook her dark head and her eyes glittered at me with excitement.  “No I’m going to take you to Lucille’s and then I have the best birthday day planned for you in the history of birthdays.”  I loved Lucille’s.  It was a popular Cajun restaurant in Washington Park and probably one of the few places outside of New Orleans where you could find an honest to god beignet.

“Yay sounds good.  What’s on the docket?”

“First we’re going shopping.”  I made a face because I hated shopping.  I lived in a ridiculous uniform for work and expensive, name brand clothes that my parents insisted I wear because I was supposed to be dressing for the job I wanted and not the job I had and doctors of any sort apparently didn’t walk around in jeans and t-shirts even when they were off the clock.  Seeing my face she grinned evilly.  “No we aren’t going rich girl shopping, we’re going normal every day college girl shopping.  We’re going to the mall, we’re going to my favorite thrift store, we’re going to that cool vintage store on Pearl Street and you my friend, you are not allowed to spend more than fifty bucks on any one thing so there will be no two hundred dollar heels, no five hundred dollar cashmere sweater sets, no perfectly tailored slacks that are hand stitched by blind monks in the Andes or whatever.  We’re just going to be two normal friends spending a day blowing our tips on useless crap.”

Oh that sounded like fun and something I never got a chance to do.  “And then,” her whiskey tinted eyes widened dramatically.   “We’re going to the salon and getting our hair done and mani-pedis.  One of the girls in my inorganic chemistry class has this great hair, she looks like rainbow bright, she swears by this place.  So we’re going to get all pretty, put on our new, normal girl clothes and go have dinner at that Brazilian place we’ve both been dying to try.”

It sounded awesome all of it sounded awesome.  I was about to launch myself at her in a huge hug of gratitude when she held up a hand.  “I’m not done.”  She disappeared into her room for a minute and came back out with a card in a pink envelope.  “The you are going to take this very cool, very necessary birthday present I got you and come out with me and I don’t mean out to Dave and Busters or Old Chicago’s, I mean out, out and I will cram a good time down your pretty little throat if it freaking kills me.”

I opened the card with mild trepidation.  I didn’t know what she meant by out, out.  Inside the card was a shiny wrapped present that at first glance looked like a credit card.  After I read her sweet birthday wishes I carefully pulled the paper off and gasped when I saw what was looking back up at me.  “Ayd I can’t use this.”

The Id had my face on it, my birthday only one year older and looked exactly like a Colorado driver’s license.  In fact it looked so much like the one in my wallet there was hardly any difference.

“Oh yes you can.  You’ve spent twenty years being everybody’s good little girl, and I’m sick of you killing yourself over it.  Most girls your age go out, sneak into clubs, kiss boys, have sloppy one night stands, get into ridiculous, drama filled fights with their girlfriends, Shaw you don’t do any of that.  Tonight you are taking that Id and coming out with me and acting like every other idiot twenty year old I know.  We’re going to drink too much, act silly and have fun, you deserve it.  I can’t remember the last time I saw you smile or laugh.  You’re letting your soul wither away trying to be someone you’re just not and I can’t stand by and watch it happen anymore.”

“I turn twenty one next year.”  I’m not sure why I thought that was a valid argument to all her more than accurate points, but for some reason it’s what popped out of my mouth.

She shook her dark head.  “Who cares?  You’re twenty today and you’re living like you’re fifty.”  It stung because on the last trip to Brookside Rule had said pretty much the same thing.  With a sigh I remembered my resignation last night to just turn myself over to Ayden’s plan, to for once just let go.  I tucked some hair behind my ears and squared my shoulders.

“Okay.”

Ayden looked up under raised eyebrows.  “Okay?”

“Yep.  Let’s do this.  Let the birthday fun and debauchery commence.”  She squealed loud enough to make my ears hurt and rushed around the table to wrap me up in a hug that squeezed the life out of me.

“Trust me Shaw, you will never forget today.”  She was right because by the end of the night this birthday would prove to be life changing.

Breakfast was amazing and we stuffed ourselves so full of fried goodness that by the time we hit the mall I needed to do a few laps just to keep moving.  I tried on a million pairs of jeans and ended up buying quite a few.  I grabbed a pair of Chuck Taylors that I always wanted but was never allowed to have and stocked up on boring old t-shirts and tank tops.  At the thrift store I scooped up an awesome old school leather jacket and a couple western style shirts with pearl buttons that I knew would look awesome with my new skinny jeans.  At the vintage store I went a little crazier because I just fell in love with all the fifties and sixties style dresses.  I looked like a character out of Mad Men in a few of them and like Bettie Page minus the height in a couple more.  I bought a pair of heels that were peacock blue and had sequined feathers on the side and a sweet pill box hat that I probably would never wear but adored.  More importantly I laughed with Ayden for hours while we tried thing after thing on and felt like a giant weight was off my chest.  It was fun, plain and simple and the fact I forgot what that felt like was just sad.