Текст книги "The Line Between"

Автор книги: Tamsyn Bester

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CHAPTER TH IRTEEN

Dane

MY CHEST GLISTENED with sweat, and my knee ached as I pushed myself on the treadmill. I pushed past the pain, hoping to silence my mind and focus on nothing but my body. I desperately needed the escape, and attending classes and football practices was no longer enough. My birthday was only a few days away, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t outrun the dread, and despair that came along with it. My mother wanted to do something this year, and after several heated discussions that always ended up in tears, she finally accepted that it wasn’t going to happen.

I was exhausted, and I knew I wouldn’t be good company anyway. It was just better for me to act like it was just another day.

Reid jumped onto the treadmill beside me, and quickly fell into an easy, wordless rhythm. The school gym was quiet, and I welcomed the silence. There was no need for me to act like everything was okay when no one was around.

For thirty minutes, we ran side-by-side, and when my body was spent, I slowed to a walk, and eventually stopped.

“You want to grab pizza on our way home?” Asked Reid. He stepped off the treadmill, and wiped the sweat from his face.

“Yeah, sounds good. I could do with an early night.”

I walked into the locker room with Reid behind me, and started grabbing my things from the locker.

Reid was about to say something when his phone rang, and he frowned at the screen.

“Hey, Jade. What’s up?”

I stiffened, my thoughts immediately going to Kennedy. She was one of many things in my mind that I’d been trying hard to avoid by staying busy, but more often than not, she was still there. I shook my head, and stood, waiting for Reid.

“Wait, I can’t understand you, Jade. I need you to calm down, sweetheart. What’s wrong?”

He listened intently, and I watched his face for some kind of indication of what was going on. His frown deepened. “Okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can. Sit tight.”

He ended the call, and with hurried movements retrieved his bag from his locker. He wouldn’t look at me, but I could feel the worry, and panic, coming off of him in waves.

“Reid, what’s wrong?”

He pulled his hands through his sweaty hair, and blew out a breath. When he looked at me I could see the struggle in his eyes. He was deciding whether or not to tell me.

“Nothing. I have to go. You should just…stay here.”

He left, and I followed behind him. “What the hell? What’s going on?”

“I’m going to handle it,” he pushed through the gym doors. “It’s best of you don’t come.”

He tried to brush me off, but I wasn’t having it. “Reid,” I growled his name. “Tell me!”

“No! Let me handle this. You’ll only make it worse if you come with me.”

There was only one reason he’d tell me to stay if there was something wrong with Jade – her phone call obviously had something to do with Kennedy.

“It’s Kennedy, isn’t it?”

He hesitated, and then proceeded to walk over to his Range Rover.

“Goddammit, Reid!” I yelled. “Just fucking tell me!”

His shoulders sagged, and he gave up on fighting me. He knew as well as I did that I’d find out eventually, and he might as well have been from him.

“Jade called. She said something happened to Kennedy, and she can’t get her to calm down. Said she’s hysterical, covered in blood, but she won’t let Jade anywhere near her.”

He was right to tell me to stay. Going over there was the worst idea, but I couldn’t help my sudden need to go. The thought of Kennedy being hurt riled me up something fierce, and I squelched the surprise that came along with those feelings. I didn’t have time to think about why they were there.

“Where are they?” I asked, my voice betraying my concern.

Reid sighed. “Dane, I don’t think – ”

“Just fucking tell me!”

“At their apartment.”

I turned, and started running through the lot, the sound of Reid yelling my name falling away. We were less than a block from our building, and I fought through my fatigue as my legs pushed forward. I cut through the quad, and took a shortcut through the campus.

Our building appeared in front of me, and I reached the double glass doors just as Reid’s tires skid to a stop behind me. I didn’t wait for him. I sprinted up the stairs, not faltering in my stride until I grasped Jade and Kennedy’s door and flung it open.

Jade was standing in the living room, her face red, and blotchy. Her eyes were wide, and she looked downright terrified.

“Where is she?” I asked.

She pointed in the direction of Kennedy’s bedroom with a shaky finger, and I headed that way. Kennedy shrieked, and a loud crash echoed through the apartment. Her room was a mess, the floor strewn with broken glass from her mirror, and the light bulb from her lamp. I crossed the floor, and immediately wrapped my arms around her small frame. In my peripheral, I saw Reid and Jade in the doorway.

“Get Jade out of here,” I half-shouted, struggling to keep Kennedy still. She wriggled in my arms, and fought my hold.

“No, Dane. Let me go!” She whimpered.

“Now,” I said to Reid. He wrapped his arms around Jade, and led her away. Kennedy’s back was to my chest, and I crossed her arms over her chest. Her breathing was ragged, and I noticed the blood on her fisted hands.

“Kennedy,” I said her name as calmly as possible, trying not to rattle her further. “Stop.”

She writhed in my arms, and started kicking wildly. It only made me hold her tighter. Her foot hit my shin, and somehow we ended up on the floor with her cradled between my legs.

I tucked my head into her neck. “Ssshh,” I brushed my lips across her skin. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

The words felt wrong, and inappropriate, but I’d hoped she would hear me anyway. I had no idea if I could get her to calm down, but something inside me wanted to try.

After a few moments, Kennedy’s body sagged against mine, and I felt her shaking. Her breathing slowed, and matched the steady movements of my chest. She cried, and I simply held her.

It was strange. To have her in my arms, looking such a mess, and feel the need to protect her, even after all I’d done to her. The way she reacted to my embrace was confusing, but I chose not to dwell on it. The only reasonable explanation I had was that Jade wasn’t strong enough to get Kennedy to stop, and she had no choice but to stop fighting me because I overpowered her. There was nothing more to it than that. There couldn’t be.

Kennedy leaned her head on my shoulder, but I couldn’t see her face. I wasn’t sure I wanted to.

“Why does it hurt so much?” Her voice was hoarse, and scratchy. “Why does losing them have to be so damn hard?”

My chest constricted, and I sucked in a breath. I wished I hadn’t known what – or who – she was talking about. I wished I didn’t understand the pain, and despair in her voice. But more importantly, I wished those things hadn’t tethered us together.

I couldn’t respond, so I gave her a few minutes, and when I was sure she was calmer, I loosened my grip on her wrists.

“Where are you hurt?” I asked quietly, needing to think about something else.

“My hand, and I think my knee.”

I lifted her hand and she winced. There was a long cut in the center of her palm that had bled all over her hand.

“What happened?”

“I fell… and cut my hand on some glass.” She didn’t offer any more than that, and I didn’t ask. What I needed to do was get her cleaned up, and leave.

“Can you stand?”

She nodded, and slowly rose to her feet. I saw the pieces of broken glass strewn across her floor, and rather than risk her getting her feet cut I lifted her up, and cradled her in my arms. We both remained quiet as I took her into her bathroom, and placed her on the closed toilet. I wet her washcloth with some hot water, and grabbed a first aid kit from the basin cabinet. I felt her eyes on me while I tended to her hand, and then her grazed knee, cleaning both wounds and bandaging up her hand.

The only time I looked at her was when I started cleaning her face, and even then I wasn’t sure what to say. I was afraid that she’d ask me why I was here, but I was even more afraid of my answer – or rather the fact that I couldn’t give her one.

“Will you be okay to get dressed?” I asked, lingering awkwardly between the bathroom door and where she was seated.

“Yes.”

I gave a sharp nod, and turned around to leave.

“Dane.” Her voice stopped me, but I kept my back to her. “I miss her too, you know.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, and my jaw tensed until my teeth hurt. I couldn’t talk to her like this. It was too much, and if I held onto her words, and the loneliness they conveyed, the wall I’d put up between us would crumble and I couldn’t have that.

Without responding, I walked out. Jade was curled up into Reid’s side on the sofa, but I ignored their gazes as I made my way back our apartment next door.

I stepped into my room, and did the only thing I could to dispel the tornado of feelings coursing through me.

I punched the wall. Over and over and over again.

Until the only pain I was focused on was that in my hand, and not the pain reflected in Kennedy’s voice.

CHAPTER FO URTEEN

Kennedy

I BLINKED RAPIDLY, trying to adjust to the sunlight filtering into my room. My eyelids protested, and my eyes burned from the dryness that accompanied a full night of crying.

My body felt heavy, but I managed to crawl out from under the covers and sit up, adjusting to the natural light. I felt like crap, but it was nothing compared the ache in my chest. The night before flooded my mind, but I couldn’t cry anymore. There were no tears left.

I dragged myself into a hot shower, hissing when my hand and my knees burned. I’d forgotten all about the injuries, but when I stared at the wet bandage covering my hand, I remembered the way Dane had taken care of me. It was so strange. He was gentle, and attentive, and I had no idea what to make of it. I tried not to think about it too much, which proved easier than I thought thanks to the dull ache forming at the base of my neck. I needed breakfast, Tylenol, and my bed. With that plan in mind, I quickly got dressed, and made my way into the living room where I found Jade and Reid on the sofa.

Jade heard my door, and her head spun around. Her eyes were as puffy as mine, and I smothered the guilt I felt for worrying her so much. I was glad she had Reid though, because I was in no position to comfort her when I couldn’t even comfort myself.

“Hey,” I croaked, my throat dry, and scratchy.

“Hi.” Jade gave me a small smile, but didn’t get up. I needed some space, and she knew that. I stepped over to the kitchen, aware that Reid was talking to Jade in hushed whispers, and poured a large glass of orange juice. Their words grew a little louder, and I faced them with what I’d hoped was a reassuring gaze.

“I’m okay,” I said, answering Jade’s unspoken question. I was surprised she hadn’t just come out and asked me, since that was what she always did.

Reid cleared his throat, and looked between Jade and me before standing. His clothes looked rumpled, and creased, and his hair stuck up on one side. He’d obviously spent the night, no doubt to be with Jade while I had my meltdown. He bent, kissing Jade on the forehead, and then made his way towards me. Without much hesitation, he wrapped his arms around me and gave a gentle squeeze.

“Let me know if you need anything,” he murmured into my hair. I was glad he didn’t ask me what happened, but I still found consolation in his embrace.

I pulled back, and looked at him. “Will you please tell Dane I said thank you?”

It was a cowardly thing to ask, instead of doing it myself, but I was a little embarrassed that Dane had seen me like that, and even more so because he was the only one who’d been able to calm me down.

Reid nodded, and after telling Jade he’d see her later, he left us. I took a seat next to Jade on the sofa, and clasped her hand in mine.

“You’re really okay?” She asked quietly. She didn’t look any better than I did, judging by the bags under her eyes.

I bit my lip, and swallowed hard. “No,” my voice cracked, “I don’t know how to move on from this.”

Her lip trembled and I hated to be the reason she was so visibly upset. “You scared me,” she said. “I had no idea how to help you, and I felt so helpless.”

“I’m sorry I scared you. I had no idea how to deal with everything, and I think I finally broke.”

She threw her arms around me, and pulled me close. I held onto her, immensely grateful that I had her to lean on.

“You’re not mad that I called Reid? I swear, I had no idea he was going to bring Dane.”

The expression she wore told me how worried she’d been about it, but I wanted to set her mind at ease. I wasn’t angry, just really confused.

“I’m not mad. A little surprised, I think, but not mad.”

“He flew in here, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so scared, Kennedy. I don’t know what to make of it. It just wasn’t like him.”

“No one is more surprised than I am,” I replied.

Jade paused, hesitating a little. She wanted to ask me what happened.

“I’ll tell you what happened,” I said, answering her silent question. “But not right now. I just want to curl up in bed, and sleep this damn headache away.”

Jade’s mouth lifted into a semblance of a smile. “When you wake up, we’ll grab some pizza and watch some movies. How does that sound?”

“Perfect.”

I left Jade in the living room, and after taking some Tylenol, I slipped back into my bed, and fell into a fitful sleep.

** ** **

“I TOLD YOU yesterday I’m not going to the party, Jade. I’m not in the mood for a crowd.”

Jade folded her arms over her chest, and narrowed her eyes at me. She wasn’t happy with me, but I didn’t care. I was still feeling out of sorts after the visit at my fathers’ house, but that wasn’t the real reason why I no longer wanted to attend the party she was trying to drag me to.

“You’ve been cooped up in your room for almost four days, Kennedy. You need to get some air, and I think a party is exactly what you need.”

I scoffed. “A party is the last thing I need.”

Jade opened her mouth to speak, but the sound of our front door opening interrupted whatever she was about to say. Seconds later, Grady appeared in the doorway of my bedroom looking hot in his leather gear. It was Halloween, and he’d decided to be a rock star this year, complete with leather pants, a leather vest, and scuffed boots. His bare chest had a few of those fake tattoos stuck on, and he had dark eyeliner around his eyes. If he weren’t gay (and proud of it) I would have definitely looked twice.

“Hey tootsie rolls.” His smile fell when he saw us. “Why the hell aren’t you dressed yet?”

“Kennedy doesn’t want to go,” said Jade.

“Oh come on, Honey Bee. It will be fun, and a total girls night out.” He winked, and my lips slipped an inch. I wanted to tell them why going was bad idea for me, but that entailed an explanation I wasn’t quite ready to give.

This time it had everything to do with Dane. I’d managed to avoid him since he’d walked out of my room on Tuesday night, and I had the feeling that seeing him tonight wouldn’t bode well. Especially because it was his birthday, and I knew how much he hated celebrating it. Our common disliking for our celebrating our birthdays was something we had in common, albeit a little odd. He was probably thinking about his sister, Jewel, just like I’d been doing, and that tended to make him rather volatile.

“You guys will have fun without me,” I argued. “I’m just going to be a party pooper.”

“Chase will be there,” Grady taunted. “I know you want to see him again.”

I did want to see Chase. He’d been texting me since our date, and we’d slipped into an easy friendship. He was the perfect distraction.

I sighed, knowing I would give in eventually. “I don’t have a costume.” It was a pathetic attempt at getting out of it, but I gave one last ditch effort.

Jade gave me a sly grin.  “You didn’t think I’d leave you hanging, did you?”

I groaned, and hung my head in defeat. If nothing else, I could at least reach a compromise. “Fine, I’ll go, but I have a condition.”

Jade bounced on the balls of her feet. “Name it!”

“I’m coming home when I’ve had enough, and you can’t give me any crap about it. Okay?”

Jade looked at Grady, and he shrugged. “It’s better than nothing, baby cakes. Now get her sexy ass dressed so we can go partaaaaay.”

AN HOUR LATER, we stopped outside of the frat house were the party was being hosted. It was a large colonial style mansion with a sprawling driveway and front yard already littered with beer cans, and inebriated college-goers. I climbed out of Jades’ Audi and silently cursed her when my tiny pleather shorts got wedged between my butt cheeks. When she said she had a costume for me, I thought it would cover more skin, but instead, she had me wearing shorts that barely covered my butt, and a blue button down shirt that ended just above my belly button. She pinned a fake cop badge on the pocket, making sure it drew attention to my cleavage. Thank God I was wearing boots without a heel. If she’d forced me to wear her hooker boots I would have been tempted to stab her with them.

Jade on the other hand looked ready for a Victoria Secret model shoot in her black baby doll dress, spiked heels, and black angel wings. No guy would be able to keep his eyes off her, and I had a feeling she was hoping to get the attention of one guy in particular. Not that she’d admit it.

“You ready?” She asked, slipping her arm into mine.

“You coerced me into coming,” I replied. “I’d rather be watching paint dry.”

She rolled her eyes, and did a little shimmy. “Whatever. You’ll be thanking me when the night is over.”

Grady stepped up behind us, slapping us both on the butt. “Let’s get this party started my tootsie rolls. I’m not going home until I’ve found me a hunk.”

I snickered, and walked up the driveway to the door. Everyone around us had obviously taken dressing up seriously. Some people were wearing sheets wrapped into a toga, while others went the less-is-more route by channeling their inner Playboy Bunny. It was comical really, and I realized that I was in fact showing less skin than anyone else.

Once inside, we stopped at a Keg, and filled some red solo cups with warm beer. I opted for water because I had the feeling I was going to end up driving my friends home.

The makeshift dance floor was packed with bodies, and we had to shove our way through to the other side of the living room. I spotted Chase, and gave him a small wave. He smiled when he saw me, and mouthed a ‘help me’ while trying to fend of the unwanted attention of a pink playboy bunny lookalike. She was standing really close, and the pink leotard she wore did little to hide her D-cup sized breasts. Why Chase needed my help was beyond me, but I decided to answer his plea anyway.

Jade disappeared onto the dance floor with Grady, and I walked over to Chase. He grabbed me around the waist, taking me by surprise.

“Officer.” He grinned. “I didn’t think you’d show.”

The girl he was standing with eyed me, her mouth twisting into a scowl. She was pretty, and had that air about her that screamed ‘sorority’.

“I was threatened with bodily harm if I didn’t,” I joked.

His hand tightened around my waist, and his eyes bounced between me and Miss January. Remembering that he’d asked me for help, I slid my hand around his waist, and pressed my breasts against his arm. I looked at the girl in front of me, smiling sweetly. “Thank you for keeping him company while he waited for me. I know how much trouble he can get into when I’m not around.”

Chase relaxed when he realized I was helping him out and playing along.

“I might misbehave on purpose if it means you’ll use those cuffs on me later.”

“Keep touching my ass the way are and I might just do that, baby.”

Miss January huffed, finally catching the hint, and stomped away with a swish of her furry bunny tail.

Chase tucked his head into my neck to smother his laugh.

“I think that did it,” he said. “Thanks for the rescue.”

“No problem,” I replied. “It’s what a Wing Woman does.”

We untangled our arms, but he didn’t move away. “You want to be my wing woman tonight?”

I shrugged. “Why not? It’s not a frat party until the football players are getting laid, right?”

My comment caused him to chuckle into his solo cup. “You obviously don’t have a high opinion of football players. Besides, I’m not sure you can handle being my wing woman.”

“You wanna bet?”

He pursed his lips, and thought it over for all of ten seconds. “Okay Monroe. Show me what you got.”

That was why I liked being around him. Our banter was easy. Natural.

“Okay.” I looked around, spotting a redhead on the opposite side of the room who had her eyes trained on Chase. She looked pretty in her Christmas elf costume, and looked very interested in coming over. I spotted the mistletoe around her wrist – it was a cute accessory – and decided to save her some effort.

“Redhead. 12 o’clock. She’s making googly eyes at you.”

Chase perked up, and looked around until he spotted her.

“Grab the mistletoe on her wrist, and hold it over her head. She’ll have no choice but to kiss you.”

It was silly, and possibly juvenile, but I wanted to have fun for once.

“You’re a genius,” replied Chase. “I might have to offer you a permanent position.”

He winked, and I slapped his arm. “Go over there, before she finds someone else to play tonsil hockey with.”

“Please,” he scoffed. “No girl can resist the Ambrose charm.”

I shook my head, and watched him disappear into the throng of people in the middle of the room. I was alone, and I started to feel a little uncomfortable when I felt eyes on me. My skin prickled, making the hair on my arms and the back of my neck stand up. I knew that gaze, and I involuntarily found myself seeking.

I pivoted, trying to make it look subtle, and still sucked in a breath when I found him standing in the corner on the far side of the room. His ice blue eyes raked over my body, and I felt it on every part of my skin that was on display, starting from my face, and ending at my thighs.

Dane was wearing faded jeans with brown chaps and dark leather cowboy boots. He had on a red flannel shirt, the sleeves ripped off, and the buttons undone with nothing but his hard body underneath. He watched me from beneath the rim of his cowboy hat, leaning against the wall with one foot propped up. He looked like a real cowboy, but more importantly, he looked downright sinful. I hadn’t given him much thought since we’d arrived, but I was very much aware of him now.

Jade bounced up next to me, saving me from the humiliation of drooling in public, and dragged my attention away from Dane.

“You having fun yet?” She asked breathlessly. I didn’t want to disappoint her, so I nodded. Taylor Swift’s ‘Shake It Off’ started playing through the speakers, earning groans from the guys and squeals from the girls.

Jade grabbed my hand, and I followed her into the center of the writhing bodies. We started dancing, and before we knew it we were belting out the lyrics. It was ridiculous, but I started enjoying it, especially when Grady and Chase joined us. They were even worse with the singing, but I’d never laughed so hard in my life. We stayed on the floor for four more songs, and I was in need of some water so I told Jade I needed to find a bathroom. I needed to catch my breath, and I couldn’t do that with so many people around me. Finding a vacant bathroom was my safest bet.

“You want me to go with you?” She yelled above the music.

“No, that’s okay. Do you know where the bathrooms are though?”

“Reid said we should use the ones upstairs, they’re cleaner. I think he said fourth door on the right, second floor.”

“I’ll be right back,” I shouted, weaving my way through the mass of drunken cohorts. I found the staircase, and after dodging a few couples who were almost having sex right there for the world to see, I stumbled on the top step leading to the second floor. I caught myself, laughing at my two left feet, and wiped my hair out of my sweaty face. Sure, I wasn’t wearing a whole lot, but it was still hot as hell.

I counted the doors, and when I reached the fourth door on the right, I knocked. No sound came, so I assumed it was safe. That was until I realized it wasn’t the bathroom. I peaked inside, and when I didn’t see anyone, I decided to step in, and take a breather. I shut the door, and leaned against it. It was quiet, until it became apparent that I wasn’t alone.