Текст книги "The Line Between"

Автор книги: Tamsyn Bester

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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

CHAPT ER TWELVE

Kennedy

IT WAS WELL past lunchtime by the time I arrived back from my trip into Brighton. The only class I had on Tuesday was cancelled, and after my date with Chase last night, I decided to take the morning for myself, and drive into town. I woke up feeling happier than I had in months, and the end result was a new haircut, some new clothes, and a new outlook on life. I came to the realization that I’d already lost so much, but that wasn’t an excuse to lose myself too.

I’d left a note with Jade, letting her know where I’d be, and switched my phone off before I even left the apartment earlier this morning.

I opened the door and found Jade pacing the living room with her phone pressed to her ear, while Grady sat on the sofa nursing what had to be a killer hangover. The drinking games continued, even after I’d gone to bed and Chase had left, and I wasn’t surprised to see that my friends looked like shit. Jade’s black hair was tied up into a knot on top of her head, and she wore nothing but an oversized Brighton U T-shirt. Grady’s hair was sticking up every which way, and he looked like a complete zombie.

“Reid, I’m not being silly. It’s been over four hours, and I still can’t reach Kennedy!”

She sounded frantic, and close to losing it. With a frown, I cleared my throat. “Jade?”

Her head whipped around, and her expression morphed into one of relief.

“Oh thank God! Reid, she’s here!” She ended her call, and crossed the floor to engulf me in a hug.

“Where the hell have you been?” She asked, her voice cracking. She pulled back, and looked at me with watery eyes. “I’ve been trying to call you for hours, and your phone was off, and I was worried sick, and why – what did you do to your hair??”

Jade switched gears from worried to shocked faster than I could blink, and I fought the laugh bubbling up in my throat. She was obviously worried, but I couldn’t understand why.

“I went into town. Didn’t you get my note?”

“No,” she sniffled, letting go of her vice grip on my arms. “I thought you went to class, and then when I couldn’t get ahold of you I panicked. Anyway,” she shook her head, “We have something more pressing to deal with right now. What’s up with your hair?”

My mouth tipped into a face-splitting grin. “Do you like it?”

Grady hadn’t spoken yet, but he rose from the sofa, and joined us where we’d congregated at the front door. “Honey bee, whatever the date with my brother did to you, it looks fabulous!”

“Good,” I replied confidently. “It was time for a change.”

And what a change it had turned out to be, for my hair at least. I’d gone to a salon, and after going through hair magazine after hair magazine, the hairstylist, Ziggy, had convinced me to be a little more daring than I’d originally planned. He dyed my hair what he called Marilyn blonde, making it look lighter than my natural hair color, and tinted the ends a light purple. I’d never been adventurous, but when I saw my reflection, I fell in love with the new look.

“Don’t you like it?” I asked Jade. Not that it really mattered. It was the first time I’d ever done something for myself, and while it might have seemed insignificant to other people, it wasn’t to me.

With pursed lips, Jade folded her arms across her chest, and replied, “I don’t know. I’m trying to decide.”

Grady rolled his eyes. “Ignore her. She’s grumpier than usual this morning. I’m still trying to figure out what crawled up her ass and died.” He sauntered to the kitchen, and started making a fresh pot of coffee.

I smiled, undeterred by Jade’s less than enthusiastic response, and placed my shopping bags next to the kitchen counter. “Does your mood have anything to do with why you drank so much tequila last night?”

Jade plopped down on the barstool next to me. “No. I just wanted to have a good time, why’s that such a bad thing?” She snapped.

“Whoa,” I put my hands up, “no need to bite my head off. I was just asking.”

“I’m sorry,” she sighed. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“I do,” replied Grady. He leaned against the counter, his jeans hanging low. He was still wearing his clothes from last night, but didn’t look nearly as bad as I’d expected after spending the night on our sofa. “You need to get laid, sweet pea, and we all know whose bed you want to be in.”

Jade glared at him, and I swear if she could, she’d make Grady blow up with that look. He smiled around the rim of his coffee cup, his eyes bright with mischief. They were having a silent conversation, but I could easily read between the lines. Something was bugging Jade. Or better yet, someone.

“You’re so lucky I like you, Ambrose, or I’d hang you over the balcony by your pubes.”

Laughter burst from my mouth, and I tucked my head into the crook of my arm to silence it. I didn’t want to get on Jade’s bad side when she was in this mood.

“Sorry toots, I don’t have pubes.”

Jade stared at Grady, taken back by his retort, and then burst into hysterics. His unexpected admission had broken Jade’s sour mood, and despite it being way too much information, I was glad something had made her smile.

“Where’s Ash?” I asked, once Jade had calmed down.

“She had labs,” she replied. “I’d hate to be her after the amount of alcohol she had last night.”

“Damn straight,” muttered Grady. “Girl sure knows how to put it away.”

Jade snickered, and then turned her body to face me. “So, you going to tell us what happened with you and Chase last night?”

In all my excitement and eagerness to get out this morning, I’d completely forgotten about filling Jade and Grady in about my supposed date. I wasn’t sure why, but for some reason I’d decided that not telling them would be better than having them rib me about what they’d expected to happen.

“Nothing,” I replied. “We ate burgers, spoke about stuff, and danced. That was it.”

Grady’s brows rose into his messy hair. “You’re telling me my brother, Mr. Charming,” he threw his hands up in dramatic flair, “didn’t try a move on you?”

“He was a perfect gentleman,” I said, trying not to sound too defensive.

Jade snorted, and I gave her a hard look. “I’m serious. It’s not like I was going to spread my legs for him or anything.”

Judging by the expressions on their faces, my friends obviously thought that’s exactly what I was going to do. Ha. As if.

“Seriously guys,” I added. “It wasn’t like that.”

Grady was the first to respond. “That’s a first for him.”

“Believe it or not, your brother is a nice guy, and by mutual agreement,” – of the nonverbal kind, I think – “we’ve decided to be friends, and nothing more.”

“Does this have something to do with the fact that you’re still a virgin? Did that scare him off?”

I gaped at Jade. “No! It has nothing to do with…that. And for your information, my v-card was traded in when I was in Georgia with my grandparents last year.”

I slapped my hand over my mouth. I had no intention of divulging that little nugget of truth to anyone, ever, and there I went just blabbing it out at the first opportunity.

“What?” Jade’s voice was shrill, and the pitch so high it made my ears ring. Holy cheese on toast.

I shrugged like it was no big deal, but in actual fact, it was. Unlike most girls my age, the story of losing my virginity was actually a sweet one. As uncomfortable as it had been, it happened with someone I’d grown to care about, someone who had helped piece me back together after my world had burned to the ground.

“How do I not know this?” Jade looked genuinely hurt, and even had her hand on her chest for effect.

“It’s not something I wanted to share,” I replied softly. “It’s too personal.”

“But I’m your closest friend. You can tell me anything.”

Jade’s eyes started to grow wet, and something akin to guilt flourished inside my chest.

Grady took her hand in his. “Jade, are you sure everything’s okay, sweet pea? You’re crazy emotional today.”

It took her a minute to compose herself, but I took her other hand and squeezed it. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just wanted to keep it to myself.”

“I’m being silly,” replied Jade. “I feel so unlike myself at the moment, and it’s driving me crazy. You’ll tell me about it sometime right?”

I smiled weakly, and gave a brief nod. I had no intention of telling her that story, but she’d forget about it in a day or two, and never think of it again. Appeasing her with a lie was all I could do.

Our bonding was interrupted when my phone rang, so I bent down, and grabbed it from my purse. I smiled when I saw it was Lucy calling. We hadn’t spoken in days, which was too long by my standards. I slid my finger across the screen, and pressed my phone to my ear.

“Hi, Luce.”

“Kennedy, sweetheart. Are you busy?”

She sounded flustered, and somewhat nervous. My brows furrowed.

“Not right now,” I replied. “Is everything okay?”

“Your father wanted me to call you, and invite you for an early dinner. Him and Shelly have something he needs to discuss with you.”

Those simple words made my stomach drop through the floor, and likely into the apartment below us. My father never contacted me, let alone invited me for dinner. Not that I would willingly go if he had extended an invite. The man was, for all intents and purposes, a complete stranger to me. I couldn’t imagine what he could possibly have to talk to me about.

“Uh,” I hesitated, unsure of what to say.

“It’s quite important, sweetheart.”

The pleading in Lucy’s voice was unmistakable, and it only made my sudden anxiety ratchet up a few notches.

“O-okay” I stuttered dumbly. “What time?”

“Can you be here by five?”

I checked my (new) watch, noting it was already two in the afternoon. I’d have to leave at four to be there on time since my father and his wife lived an hour away in Brighton.

“Okay.” I was starting to sound like a broken record, but who could blame me? This request was completely out of left field.

“I’ll see you then, sweetheart. Drive safe, all right?”

“See you, Luce.”

I ended the call, and stared at my phone.

“What’s wrong?” Asked Jade. She knew I was talking to Lucy, and could probably see by the expression on my face that it wasn’t good.

“My father has invited me to dinner. Apparently him and the stepmonster have something to discuss with me.”

I chanced a look at her, and found exactly what I’d expected. Real shock. Not the kind she expressed when she saw my new hairstyle. But real, ‘knock-me-on-my-ass’ shock.

Grady chuckled, completely oblivious to the wordless communication happening between Jade and me. “Stepmonster?”

When we didn’t reply immediately he leaned his elbows on the counter, and waited. Luckily it was Jade who responded.

“Yeah, that’s putting it mildly. What do you think they want to talk about?” The question was directed at me, but I couldn’t answer, so I just shook my head.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Offered Jade. I was so tempted to say yes, because going alone terrified me, but I had to do it.

“That’s okay, but be on standby in case we need to call in the reinforcements.”

With my mood suddenly in the toilet, I got up, and made my way to my bedroom. I needed a moment to give myself a mental pep talk. Instead, I found myself wishing my brother were here.

THE HOUR DRIVE to my father’s house went by quicker than I’d hoped. Before I knew it, their driveway stretched out in front of me, and I stopped in front of the door. The last time I was here it was easier because my father and his wife weren’t at home, but the thought of seeing them now made my stomach twist painfully, pushing bile up my throat.

“I can do this,” I muttered into the silence of my Jeep. I took a deep breath, and mustered up as much Dutch courage as I could. There was no one to greet me at the door, so I didn’t bother with knocking. I let myself in, and nervously glanced around. Nothing about the place felt familiar anymore, despite having spent more than half my life in the confines of these walls. It was still as cold, and unwelcoming as I’d remembered.

Lucy walked out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. “Kennedy, you made it.”

She took my hand, and I followed her into the dining room. She stopped just outside, and gave my hands a gentle squeeze. “I’ll be here when it’s over, don’t forget that.”

I didn’t have time to ask her what she was carrying about. She scurried away, and left me to fend for myself.

“Kennedy.” My fathers’ voice crawled over my skin, and I suddenly wished I’d had the foresight to accept Jade’s offer to come with me. I had a terrible feeling in my stomach that this wasn’t going to be a pleasant visit. Still, I straightened my stance, and walked through the doors leading to our dining room with an air of confidence I didn’t possess. I had to keep myself together because if there was one thing my father could do it was smell fear.

He was seated at the head of the table dressed in a business suit looking every bit like the predator he was. People feared him, and they had every reason to. His exterior was so well put together, with his dark brown hair perfectly combed, his angular face freshly shaven, and his physically intimidating stature. He was designed to lure people in with all those things, and when they were trapped, he took full advantage.

My stepmother sat to his left, dressed in her usual designer digs, her blonde hair extensions perfectly curled, and her perfectly plastic boobs in the air. Her make-up was caked on, and it immediately made my think of the girls on that show Jade loved. What was it called? Oh yes, Jerseylicious.

“Anthony.”

I called my father by his real name because to me he’d never been anyone else. I sure as hell couldn’t call him ‘dad’, and calling him ‘father’ meant I had to acknowledge that I was his offspring. So I stuck to ‘Anthony’.

“Thank you for coming,” he said, gesturing for me to sit down. “Don’t you greet your stepmother anymore?”

I took a seat opposite the wicked witch herself, and gave her the same bored expression she was giving me. “Shelly.”

“Kennedy, so nice to see you.”

Liar. It was no wonder my father married her. If her blowjobs were anything like her acting then it finally made sense.

Lucy came in, and deposited a roast chicken in the center of the over-decorated table, and left to bring the rice, and steamed vegetables. Whatever my father had to discuss must’ve been important if he’d asked Lucy to make such a meal, especially considering Lucy was the only one who ever ate at home. My father preferred eating out, as did Shelly.

“Thank you, Lucy. You may leave us now.”

I ground my teeth together at his dismissive tone, but refrained from talking. The sooner I got this over with, the better.

“I’m sure you must be curious as to why we’ve asked you here.” My father smiled as Shelly put food on his plate. He’d never smiled at me. Not once.

Shelly dished up for herself, eyeing me across the table. I didn’t touch the food. I was too keyed up to eat, not to mention that I hadn’t planned on staying here long enough to eat anyway.

Neither of them said anything for a beat, and then my father broke the awkward silence. “Do you want to tell her, sweetheart?” His eyes were fixed on his wife.

“Are you sure? I think it would be better if it came from you darling.”

The only thing more sickening than her squeaky voice was her term of endearment for the man sitting next to me.

“No, honey,” he chuckled ruefully. “I think you should be the one to tell Kennedy our news.”

“Well okay then.” Shelly dropped her cutlery, and turned her fake grin up a notch as our eyes met. “We’re pregnant.”

I stared at her, my mind trying to comprehend the bombshell she’d just dropped. My mouth was dry, and I couldn’t get my voice to form a single word.

“Isn’t it great,” Shelly gushed, not fazed at my inability to respond. She placed a hand on her stomach, and smiled at my father. Surprisingly, he looked…happy?

No.

Words.

I had nothing.

So I stared at them like a complete fool.

“We’ve already cleared out Charlie’s room for a nursery,” my father said. “It’s too early to tell, but knowing my luck, it’s a boy.”

Shelly giggled, and I was finally able to grasp what my father had just said. The mention of my brother was enough to knock the wind out of me.

“Wait, what did you just say?” My voice came out louder than I’d intended.

“I said I think it’s a boy,” my father replied, looking annoyed that I’d even asked.

“No, before that.”

Shelly huffed. “Honestly, Kennedy. You’d think with all the money your father pays for you tuition you’d at least have learned how to listen with both ears.”

I balked at that. My father didn’t pay for my tuition. He had no idea how I was paying for school, and I had no doubt that if he knew he’d be pissed. Still, he didn’t bother correcting stepmommy dearest.

“We’ve cleared out Charlie’s room, and we’re going to use it as a nursery. Your bedroom is already a guest bedroom,” my father said.

My heart pounded painfully in my chest. “You got rid of his stuff?”

Growing up, Charlie had always been my fathers’ favorite, and now I couldn’t bear the thought of my father wiping away his memory like he’d never even existed. There were many things I would tolerate from my father, but having him disregard Charlie so bluntly wasn’t one of them. It was a slice to my already battered heart.

“Yes. Lucy took it all to Goodwill over the weekend,” replied Shelly.

I swallowed the imaginary cotton ball that had lodged itself in my throat, and blinked back the rapid onslaught of tears. This couldn’t be happening. I needed to leave, but something stopped me. Maybe it was a sense of loyalty to my brother, or maybe it was my need to cut my ties with these people once and for all. I didn’t know. All I was sure of was that it’s what made me push my chair back, and stand.

“Kennedy, where are you going?” My father asked. His scowl didn’t scare me anymore, and that said something.

“I can’t believe you.” My voice betrayed the turmoil wreaking havoc with my heart. I turned around, ignoring my fathers’ “where are you going?” and raced up the stairs. Thankfully I’d worn jeans, and ballet pumps instead of heals, and a dress. I couldn’t imagine running up the marble staircase without slipping, and kissing the floor.

I stopped in front of my brother’s old room, my hand shaking as it twisted the knob. My fathers’ footsteps echoed not far behind me, but I didn’t care. Not in that moment. Not ever.

The dark grey walls that used to be adorned with posters of Charlie’s favorite bands, certificates, and medals were bare. His built-in closets, and drawers stood empty, and not a single piece of his furniture had been left behind.

I sucked in a lung full of air, and still struggled for breath. His room was empty…like…like…he was never even here.

“How could you,” I whispered, aware that my face was damp with tears. I spun to face my father, the man who had discarded me from the moment I was born, and blamed me for my mothers’ death. “Do you feel nothing? Or are you happy to have a baby on the way to replace the son you lost?”

My fathers’ eyes turned cold – well colder then they usually were when he looked at me – and his nostrils flared. “Be careful how you speak to me,” he warned angrily. “I am still your father.”

Shelly had joined us, but she was smart enough to stay behind my fathers’ bulky frame. At least she would hear what I had to say before I left this Godforsaken hellhole.

I snorted. “You haven’t been my father in nineteen years. But you loved Charlie, I know you did, and yet you’ve thrown out his things like he meant nothing to you.” He opened his mouth to speak, but I put up my hand to silence him. That seemed to anger him more.

“I accepted that you didn’t want me, that you didn’t love me,” a sob broke free, “but Charlie deserves better.”

Before he could respond, I pushed past him into the hallway. I looked back at Shelly, and that’s when it caught my eye – the necklace around her neck. It was a beautiful white gold chain, with two delicate hearts intertwined and joined in the center by a ruby. I recognized it from the pictures Charlie had shown me of our mother. She was beautiful, and Charlie had told me everything about her that he could remember. How she used to sing to him at night, and read him bedtime stories. Thinking about that made the ache in my chest intensify, and along with it came the discernment that I had nothing left of this life.

I stepped forward, and gripped the necklace in my hands. “This belonged to my mother,” I snapped. I tugged the necklace, and when it broke, I clasped it in my hands like it was a life source. Shelly gasped, but my back was already turned as I walked back towards the staircase. I snatched the one and only picture of me, my mother, and Charlie from the wall beside the stairs, holding it to my chest. Lucy was standing at the door, and the sight of her was the final straw that broke me.

She stopped me before I could leave, and whispered in my ear so that my father, and Shelly wouldn’t hear. “Your brothers’ things are boxed up, and in my garage. I’ll let you know when you come get them, okay?”

I only nodded, barely processing a single word. It was time for me to leave. My feet started moving again, but in my state I misjudged the two steps leading to the driveway. With blurry, tear filled eyes, and the darkness that had fallen, I could barely see. My toe caught on the top step, and my body hurtled forward, landing on the hard ground. The glass from the photo frame in my hand shattered, and I cried out when the glass sliced my palm. With the little fight that I had left, I managed to lift myself up, and climb into my jeep. My knee was burning, blood seeping through my jeans, and my hand throbbed. My shirt was already damp from where I cradled my wounded hand, but I gripped my steering wheel.

As the house behind me blurred away, my body wracked with sobs. For Charlie. For a mother I never knew. And for the little girl inside me who lost the only person who ever loved her.