Текст книги "The Line Between"

Автор книги: Tamsyn Bester

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CHAPTER THIR TY-FOUR

Kennedy

I DIDN’T KNOW whether I wanted to scream, cry, throw something, or curl up into the fetal position and wait for…I don’t know what.

My bedroom door opened, and I knew it was Jade before she said anything. She lifted my comforter, and climbed into bed behind me.

“He kissed her,” I said, not bothering to turn around. “He kissed her in front of me, like he wanted me to see it.”

Jade brought her arm around my waist, and gave my hand a squeeze. “I have to tell you something.”

I twisted my head so that I could see her face, frowning when I saw her hesitation. She was chewing on her bottom lip, a sure telltale sign that I wasn’t going to like whatever it was she needed to tell me.

“He did it on purpose. He only asked Ashley out because he saw you with Beau earlier and assumed you’d just moved on.”

I turned my head towards my window, the moon casting muted light on the outside world. I’d spent many nights watching Dane sleep while the moonlight danced on his body. He’d looked so peaceful, so still. It was hard to believe he was the same guy who’d not only asked my roommate out, but kissed her too when he knew I was watching, just to hurt me.

“I’m not sure it matters anymore,” I replied. I wanted to fight back, I really did, but I didn’t have it in me to keep going back-and-forth with Dane.

“Wait,” I looked at Jade from over my shoulder, “How do you know that’s why he did it?”

“Uh,” she winced, “He told me about seeing you with Beau, and I kind of put two and two together.”

“When did you talk to him?”

“It was about an hour ago,” she replied. I wanted to ask her what she was doing next door, but decided better of it. I had a feeling she wouldn’t have told me anyway, since it most likely included Reid, and whole lot of non-talking activities. I didn’t want to fall asleep with that knowledge in my head.

I closed my eyes, and prayed that I would fall asleep soon. I wanted this night to be over.

“You know, he’ll come around eventually,” said Jade. Her voice was soft, and she spoke carefully as if I was about to break into a million pieces. What she hadn’t realized yet was that I’d already done that. I didn’t reply, for fear that if I opened my mouth I’d end up telling her how desperately I wanted more with Dane, how I felt like half my soul was missing when he wasn’t with me, and how my body responded to him like it had found its’ mate. I didn’t want anyone to know that. Once I said it, there would be no going back, no retracting words already spoken. It needed to be kept inside. Safe from a world that wouldn’t understand the road I’d travelled to get to Dane, to find the man he was inside, and discover that once-in-a-lifetime kind of love that had stemmed from a lifetime of hate.

WHEN I STIRRED the following morning, the first thing I noticed was that it was raining outside. The sky flashed with lightening, and the sky thundered loudly. It was the perfect metaphor really.

I was still nowhere near finding absolution from all that had transpired with, and after Dane, but at least the world outside matched what I was feeling inside. I didn’t have to pretend and put out a sunny disposition when the last thing I was feeling was ‘sunny’.

The second thing I noticed was that Jade was gone. It was only seven thirty a.m. and that was early for her considering our classes were over. I put my robe on, tied my hair up, and headed into the kitchen to find some food. I heard a commotion outside the front door and just as I stepped towards it Jade stumbled in.

“Have you seen the news?” She asked breathlessly.

“No, why? Why are you so wet?”

“You need to see something,” she replied, ignoring my second question. I trailed behind her as she turned on our television and flicked through to the news channels.

My father’s name, and image started popping up, followed by pictures of Dane’s father. Jade turned the volume up, and then I listened to what the reporter was saying.

“What started out as a run of the mill land dispute between Brighton’s two long-standing feuding families has now become a public blood bath between Anthony Monroe, and Derek Winters. Winters, who is the plaintiff, has resulted to some rather underhanded tactics in the courtroom in attempt to get the defendant to buckle under the pressure…”

History was slowly starting to repeat itself, and I stood immobile as it all unfolded on a screen for the whole world to see.

“Two years ago Winters’ lost his only daughter in a car accident involving Monroe’s only son, Charles, and according to sources who were close to both victims, the two were engaged in an affair, unbeknownst to their families. Winter’s has requested the case be reopened for investigation after accusing the deceased, Charlie Monroe, of murder….”

Everything stopped at the word murder.

Derek Winters was accusing my brother, my dead brother, of murdering Jewel.

My lungs constricted, and I struggled for air. Why was he doing this? Why was he digging up our pasts and splashing it all over the local news? It was bad enough dealing with the press the first time when they’d found Charlie’s and Jewel’s bodies in his mangled truck.

“Kennedy?” Jade’s voice sounded far way, like I was in a tunnel, or worse, like I was drowning. Her hands came to rest on my shoulders and she moved me towards the sofa until I was sitting down.

“Turn it off,” I said, watching images of Charlie and Jewel flicking onto the screen. I couldn’t stand to hear more. Jewel and Charlie were both dead, and I couldn’t stand to hear what they were saying anymore. My brother wasn’t a murderer. He loved Jewel more than anything. They were in love.

Jade shut the television off, and came to sit beside me just as our front door burst open. Dane filled the doorway, dressed in drenched sweats, and a grey t-shirt. His hair was dripping, and stuck to his face.

But it was his scowl that held my attention.

He stepped forward, his shoulders heaving like he’d run here, and his stance menacing.

“Is it true?” His tone was as thunderous as the weather outside.

“Is what true?” Asked Jade. She rose from her place next to me, and took a protective stance in front of me. Little did she know there was nothing she could to protect me from what was coming.

“Step aside Jade,” warned Dane. He glowered at her, but she stood firm, and folded her arms across her chest. She was preparing for a fight, but it wasn’t hers to begin with. It wasn’t really mine either, but with Charlie gone I made it mine, and I guessed Dane was doing the same for Jewel.

“I’m not going anywhere,” replied Jade. She lifted her chin, effectively saying ‘try me’. “I’m not going to let you hurt my friend.”

Dane let out a sadistic laugh that made my skin crawl. “I won’t touch her. Not after what her brother did to my sister.”

I screwed my eyes shut, and instinctively curled my hands into fists. If he wanted a fight, I’d give him one, but he had no right to throw accusations around when he didn’t know everything.

I shot to my feet, and shoved Dane backwards. “Don’t you dare say anything about Charlie when he’s not here to defend himself!”

“I asked you a fucking question, Kennedy!” He yelled. “Is what they’re saying on the news about Charlie and Jewel true?”

“Yes!” I yelled back. “They were in a relationship, but he didn’t kill her, Dane!”

He stepped back, and roughly pulled his wet hair through his fingers. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he said looking up at the ceiling. “I can’t fucking believe it.”

“Your dad must be having a field day with this,” I remarked. “Any opportunity to drag my family’s name through the mud.”

Dane’s head snapped in my direction, and he closed the gap between us. “Oh no, sweetheart. This one is all on your brother, and it has been ever since he killed my sister!”

My blood had been slowly boiling, building up from a steady simmer, but it was now tipping over, and I’d lost any desire to control it. My hand came up, ready to slap Dane across the face but his fingers wrapped around my wrist before I could, like he was anticipating it.

“Not so fast,” he growled. His grip tightened until it was painful, and he pulled me until we were standing in front of the television. He turned it on, and the news channel was still showing pictures of our families, his sister, and my brother.

I turned my head away, but he grabbed my chin and I had no choice but to see the barrage of images.

“Look!” He shouted. “I want you to see what a monster your brother was! I want you to see how he ruined my family!”

He was hurting me in every way he could, and I lost the struggle to keep from breaking. A sob escaped my mouth, and I fell to my knees.

“You don’t get to cry!” shouted Dane. “It should have been you in that car, not Jewel! Your brother should have taken your life with his, and not hers!”

I started crying harder, and when I looked up at him, his eyes were red, with tears streaming down his face. This was ultimately the one thing that would have torn us apart eventually, but I never expected him to use it against me this way. I finally understood why he’d hated me so much after Jewel’s death. Charlie wasn’t here to take the blame, so Dane took all of his misplaced hatred out on me.

Jade came barreling out of her room, rushing towards us when she saw that Dane had my arm suspended in the air while I knelt on the floor.

“Let go of her!” She yelled, trying to push him away, but he refused to let go, even when I winced in pain.

“NO! She deserves to feel this!” He crouched down in front of me. “I wish it was you! You should be dead, not Jewel!”

“You’re right!” I bawled. “It should have been me, and God, I wish it was because then I wouldn’t be so fucking alone! Charlie was the only real family I had, and he’s gone, and at least if I had died with him I wouldn’t have to face this, or you! I’ve carried this with me since that night Dane, and I would give anything to trade places with Jewel, but you forget that I lost her too!” I swallowed hard, trying to gain some semblance of control before carrying on. “She was my best friend, and no matter what anyone says, Charlie loved her, so fucking much.”

“They should have never been together!” He bellowed. “She’d still be here if it weren’t for him!”

My eyes blurred, and I almost choked on my sobs, but I surged forward. “They were leaving that night. Jewel was pregnant and they wanted to be together, but they knew our parents would have never allowed it. So they left-”

“And Jewel is never coming back because of Charlie! He deserves to be six feet fucking under!”

I wailed as Dane flung my arm to the floor, and I fell into heap on the cold floor. I lifted my head in time to see Jade slap Dane across the face.

“You are the only monster here, Dane! You are so selfish that you fail to see how Kennedy has lost just as much as you have. She lost two people that night, and you’re here telling her you wish she were dead? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Dane’s chest heaved, and something in his gaze registered. His face paled, and he took a step towards me. Jade pushed him back. “Go anywhere near her, and I’ll personally kick your ass. You’ve done enough, now get out!”

He hesitated briefly, his eyes filled with so much anguish, hatred, and pain. With one final glance in my direction, he spun around, and stormed out. I inhaled a ragged breath, but it hurt. It hurt to breath after his cruel words.

It should have been you in that car, not Jewel! Your brother should have taken your life with his, and not hers!

“Jesus,” Jade dropped to the floor next to me, “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

She had no idea just how much.

He’d completely obliterated me.

One.

Fractured.

Piece.

At.

A.

Time.

I lifted myself up on shaky arms, and Jade helped me from the floor. I saw that she was crying too, but I couldn’t comfort her.

“You’re not alone,” she said with a sniffle. “I love you. I’m your family, Kennedy. I always will be.”

I wanted to say I know and I love you too but the words were stuck somewhere, and I nodded briefly instead.

She helped me to my room, and eased me onto my bed. I looked around, suddenly feeling out of place, like I didn’t belong here, while Dane’s words replayed over and over and over again in my head.

I wish it were you! You should be dead, not Jewel!

Your brother should have taken your life with his, and not hers!

And Jewel is never coming back because of Charlie! He deserves to be six feet fucking under!

It should have been you in that car, not Jewel!

What I needed to do next became clear, but I had to wait.

As soon as it was nightfall and Jade was asleep, I’d leave. I needed to get out of here, but I didn’t want her to convince me otherwise.

I MOVED AROUND my room quietly, shoving some clothes, and essentials into a small overnight bag. I slipped one of my brothers’ old hoodies over my head, and tugged my bag over my shoulder. I tiptoed my way through the apartment, cringing when my sneakers made a squeaky sound. It was still pouring outside, the relentless downpour and stormy clouds casting a heavy darkness on everything in sight.

I crept out the front door, and ran through the rain until I was in the safety of my Jeep. I had a long drive ahead of me, but I would use the time to think, and clear my head before I showed up at my grandparents place in Madison. I turned the key in the ignition, and took off into the storm.

CHAPTER THI RTY-FIVE

Dane

I WAS FURIOUS.

I was irrational.

I was out of control.

And I was in pain.

So much so that it felt like I’d lost my twin all over again. Everything I’d felt the moment I’d found out she was dead, came rushing back with vengeance, only this time the pain was more acute, more alive. I’d woken up with this nagging feeling in my chest, something didn’t feel right. Then I turned on the news, and figured out why I was feeling that way. My mother had warned me about this happening, but I hadn’t expected it to be like how they showed on the television.

I walked into my bedroom, and started punching the wall. Thankfully Reid wasn’t there because he would have tried to stop me and I didn’t want him to.

My fist hit the wall over and over and over again. I didn’t stop, not even when I heard the distinct sound of bone cracking, not when my hand was dripping with blood. I wanted the ache in my chest to go away, and I wanted my sister to be here. I finally dropped to the floor on my knees, and for the first time since Jewel’s death, I cried, and let it all out.

HUSHED CONVERSATION From the other side of my bedroom door roused me from my spot on the floor. I rolled over, and winced, cradling my injured hand to my chest. I lifted it up, noting the dried blood, and the swell of my knuckles.

Using my arm, I lifted myself to my knees, and then stood up on unsteady legs. It was already dark outside, and I checked my phone to see what time it was.

Two a.m.

Shit. Was I out that long?

The murmurs grew louder, and then softer, and I could faintly make out Reid’s voice. I opened my door, squinting into the light, and found him standing in the living room talking animatedly to Jade while trying to keep quiet.

“Hey.” My voice croaked, and my throat was scratchy.

Their heads whipped in my direction, and Jade pinned me with a ferocious sneer. She had every right to be mad. I’d said some vile things – unforgivable things – to Kennedy. Things I said in the heat of moment without meaning to, things that I couldn’t take back.

“Everything okay?” I asked, stepping away from the threshold of my bedroom.

Jade looked at Reid, and whispered, “You know what, never mind. I’ll do this on my own.”

“Don’t be like that,” he replied. “I’ll help you.”

“Help her with what?”

Jade’s jaw ticked, and her body was taut with tension. “Nothing you need to concern yourself with.”

“We have to tell him,” sighed Reid.

Jade gritted her teeth. “No. He doesn’t need to know, Reid.”

“I disagree.” They had a stare-off, and Jade relented by throwing her hands in the air with an exasperated huff. “Fine. But don’t expect him to care, or help.”

I didn’t like her tone, but I couldn’t blame her for feeling that way. Still, I wanted to know what was going on. There had to be a reason she was here at this time of the morning.

“Kennedy’s missing,” said Reid.

I straightened. “What do you mean?”

“She wasn’t in her room, and her Jeep is gone,” replied Jade. “I tried calling her but it goes straight to voicemail.”

The storm outside was still raging, and there had been several warnings on the news about roads being unsafe to travel on. My skin prickled, and my gut churned at the thought of something happening to Kennedy after our fight.

“Do you know where she might’ve gone?” I asked.

“There’s only one place I can think of, but I’m not sure she would have gone that far.” Jade’s voice was softer, fearful, and I could tell she was worried.

“Where?”

“Back to Madison, to see her grandparents.”

“Madison, Georgia?” Asked Reid. He looked at Jade with a dubious expression, and I muttered, “Shit.”

My body moved without thinking, and I dressed into clean, dry clothes before making a grab for my keys.

“Where are you going?” Asked Reid.

“I’m going to find her,” I replied, opening the front door.

“You can’t go alone,” he said, following behind me. I stepped outside of the building, and into the pouring rain.

“Dane, you’re not thinking this through. You can’t drive on these roads, we need to wait for the weather to ease up.”

“Not a chance, Reid.” I climbed into my truck. “I’m going to find her.”

He looked up at the sky, swearing under his breath, and then dropped his gaze back to me. “Okay, but I’m coming with you.”

I waited for him to climb into the passenger seat, and then drove out of the lot. I took the only route Kennedy would have taken, and started praying that she was okay.

We’d been driving for almost an hour, and Kennedy’s phone was still going to voicemail. The rain hadn’t eased up at all, and I hated having to drive slower because of all the water. I saw hazard lights flashing ahead as we approached a bridge, and panic started to set in. It wasn’t a Jeep, and if it hadn’t been for the person jumping around with flailing arms trying to get us to stop, I probably would have driven past.

“Help!” An older man yelled. “Please! Help!”

Reid and I jumped out, and as soon as the man saw us, he pointed to the water. “There’s a car down there, and I haven’t seen anyone come out. I’ve called an ambulance, but that was three hours ago. I think they’ve been held up by the storm!”

Three hours???

I leaned over the edge, and my heart fell when I recognized the car that was half-submerged in the water below the bridge.

Kennedy’s Jeep.

I sprang into action, and the moments that followed all blurred together.

Diving into the water.

Finding her unconscious.

Submerged in the water from her chest downwards.

The panic clawing at my throat.

Pulling her out of the car.

Wading through the current to get her to the riverbank.

Kissing her expressionless face, her cold lips.

Telling her it was going to be okay.

Telling her how sorry I was for the things I’d said.

Telling her I loved her.

The EMT’s taking her away.

Reid driving us to the hospital.

And waiting.

And waiting.

And waiting…

Until finally.

She was okay. She was alive. She was breathing.

I sat down next to her hospital bed, exhausted but too afraid to leave her side, and held her hand. My mind was replaying everything over the last few hours, and the guilt consumed me. This was my fault. I’d wished her dead when the thought of really losing her terrified me.

What have I done?

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered against her slightly warmer hand. “I can’t unsay the things I said, but please, don’t leave me.”

CHAPTER THIR TY-SIX

Kennedy

I STOOD ON the dock overlooking the lake and its still waters. I was calm, surrounded by a sense of peace, and absolute quiet. Charlie used to bring me here when I was younger, and because it was our spot, it was one of my favorite places. Laughter broke out behind me, and I turned around to find him and Jewel walking casually in my direction, hand-in-hand.

Was I dreaming?

I had to have been if they were here.

Charlie looked up and smiled. He was happy.

I jolted forward, and raced towards them, hurtling myself into his arms.

“Hey, Kenny.”

His voice, so warm and caring, greeted my ears, and my eyes welled up after not hearing it for so long. God, I missed him. So much.

“I’ve missed you,” I murmured into his neck.

He kissed my temple, and replied, “I’ve missed you too.”

He placed me back on my feet, and I turned towards Jewel. Her smile was wide, and I couldn’t stop myself from throwing my arms around her too. She laughed, and hugged me back, making it feel like two years ago wasn’t the last time I’d seen her.

I pulled back and stared into her blue eyes that looked so much like Dane’s. Her golden blonde hair hung over her shoulders, her skin, still sun-kissed from hours spent next to their pool.

My best friend and my brother were standing in front of me, and I could actually touch them, as if they were alive. The reminder that they weren’t was enough to make my lungs, and my chest, burn with longing.

“Where am I?” I asked, looking between them. “How are you here?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” laughed Charlie. “This is Heaven.”

Heaven?

Did that mean I was…

“You’re not dead,” said Jewel.

“Then why am I here?”

Charlie smiled down at Jewel, and they each took my hands as we walked down to the edge of the dock.

“I don’t understand what’s happening,” I said, taking a seat between the two people I loved more than anything.

Jewel patted my leg. “That’s okay, you won’t be here long.”

“You were in accident,” said Charlie. “That’s how you’re here. But someone saved your life.”

“I don’t remember anything.”

“We know,” said Jewel. “That’s why we’re here.”

The scene in front of me changed, and we were suddenly standing in an emergency room at the hospital. I recognized the girl on the bed, and let out a gasp when I saw it was me. My clothes were wet, my hair stuck to my face, my lips blue.

“You were in accident,” said Charlie again. “You got stranded on the side of a bridge in a rainstorm, and someone collided with you from behind. Your Jeep hit the barrier, and landed in the water, where you stayed unconscious for three hours before you were rescued.”

I looked around the room, at the nurses buzzing around me.

“Technically you died,” said Jewel. “But somehow you hung on long enough. It’s like you knew he was coming to get you.”

“He?” I asked, looking between them.

Jewel grinned. “Dane.”

“Dane saved me?”

She nodded, and when I looked forward again, we were standing in the waiting room. Reid and Dane were there, and Dane had his head in his hands. He was saying something, but I couldn’t quite make out what.

“He loves you, you know,” remarked Charlie. “It’s just taken a bit of time for him to realize it.”

Jewel huffed beside me. “He’s always been stubborn. He needed a kick in the butt.”

Dane’s face was twisted in anguish, and I thought I’d heard him crying.

“We had a fight,” I said quietly. “He said he wished it was me who had died instead of you, Jewel.”

“Oh I know what the dummy said, and there’s no excuse. He’s wasted so much time hating you because Charlie isn’t alive, and you were the closest thing to the person he blames for what happened to us. I just wish he’d let go of everything keeping him from you.”

“From me?”

“He’s your person,” said Charlie. “Like Jewel is mine. He’s who you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with.”

“But how?” I asked, confused by everything that was happening. It was bizarre, really, and I was struggling to make sense of it.

When I turned my attention away from Charlie, we were back in the emergency room.

“Our time’s almost up,” said Jewel. “They’re about to bring you back.”

“No,” I cried. “You can’t leave me again. Why can’t I stay here with you guys? Please?”

“Because you have to live, Kenny. You’re getting the second chance we never got, and we wanted to make sure you did it right.”

I wrapped my arms around Charlie’s waist, and closed my eyes as I held him close. “But I miss you, Charlie. I don’t think I can do it without you. You’re all I had.”

He chuckled, and returned my embrace. “You’re not alone, and you never have been. I might not be here anymore, but you have people who care about you. Don’t allow you past to dictate your future. And always remember that I love you.”

He was slipping away from me. I could feel it. I wasn’t ready to let him go. I needed him too much.

He dropped his arms and stepped back. When I opened my eyes, we were back on the dock.

Jewel took my hands in hers, and looked at me with watery eyes. “I miss you, Kenny, every day, but I’m always with you, even when it feels like I’m not.”

“It’s not fair.” My voice cracked, and my chest felt heavy. I’d already gone through this once before, why did I have to relive it?

“I know it’s not, but you’ll be fine, I promise. And I need you to deliver a message for me. Tell Dane I’m glad he found his cliché.”

She laughed when my brows furrowed in bewilderment. “He’ll know what it means.”

She dropped my hands, and I knew it was time. Still, I hated it, having to say goodbye, even though I never got to the first time.

“I love you,” I said, looking between the two people I loved the most in this world.

“We love you too,” replied Charlie. He put his arms around Jewel’s shoulders, and she looked up at him with love, and adoration. I decided that was how I’d remember them from now on.

I opened my mouth to speak, but found myself falling backwards into the water. I let out a surprised scream but the water surrounding me muted the sound.

I kept sinking deeper and deeper and deeper until…

The steady beep-beep of a machine pierced the silence. I cracked an eye open, wincing when the harsh florescent lighting made it burn.

My body was heavy, weightless, and I felt incredibly tired. I lifted my hand, and turned my head to the side when I felt something akin to hair brushing my fingertips.

My eyelids lifted slowly, heavily, until I could make out that there was a head resting on a forearm where my hand was.

I was slightly disorientated, but looking around I surmised that I was in a hospital room. The head stirred next to my hand, and twisted until two startling blue eyes were looking back at me.

“You’re awake,” said Dane. His voice was thick with sleep, and I wondered how long he’d been here. I couldn’t remember much, but I could vaguely recall our fight, hitting the water, and some weird dream with Charlie and Jewel.

“How long was I out?” I asked.

“Three days,” he replied.

Three DAYS? It hadn’t felt that long.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” he whispered, his eyes bloodshot, and full of remorse.

“You saved my life,” I said, feeling my throat close. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but couldn’t. I wasn’t sure what I wanted after everything that had happened.

“How do you know?”

I gave him a half smile. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

The Doctor chose that moment to interrupt by walking into my room without preamble. He was a young doctor, blond hair perfectly styled, brown eyes, average height. He looked fresh out of med-school.

“Miss. Monroe. Nice of you to come back to us.”

“I didn’t have a choice,” I replied, smiling when I thought about my brother and Jewel.

“Glad to hear it,” the Doctor muttered, uninterested in my reason for ‘coming back’. Douche.  “I’m Dr. James, and I’ve been monitoring your progress since your accident. Do you think you can tell me what happened? I’d like to see if your memory is impaired in anyway.”

I cleared my throat, and told him what had happened up to where I could remember. He seemed pleased, and started making notes on his clipboard.

“You are very lucky, Miss. Monroe,” – no shit, really? – “You were resuscitated twice after sustaining a head injury, and being left in the water for three hours before you were found. You obviously have some Guardian Angels looking out for you.” – He had no idea – “You should be cleared for discharge tomorrow. Do you have family we can call?”

I opened my mouth, but Dane cut in before I could speak. “Her grandparents couldn’t travel, but her friends are here. We’ll take her home tomorrow.”

“Very good.”

Dr. James left the room, and I sagged back into my bed. Dane stood from his chair, and nervously rubbed his hands down his jeans. He looked tired, and in desperate need of a shower. Had he been here the whole time?

I wasn’t sure how the answer to that would have made me feel but I still needed to talk to him. I felt indebted to him for saving my life.

“I’m going to get Jade,” he said, starting for the door. “She’ll want to see you.”

“Dane, wait.”

He turned towards me with reluctance, as if he was afraid of what I might say.

“We need to talk.”

He stood there for a whole minute – yes, I counted – and then took me by surprise when he leaned over the bed at my side. His hands held my face, and he fixed me with eyes so full of sorrow I could taste it, feel it blanketing me.

“You will never know how sorry I am.” His voice was low, nothing more than a gentle caress across my face. “For what I said to you the day we fought, for hurting you so badly you felt you needed to run, and for being the reason you nearly died.”

I tried to speak, to tell him to shut up and listen to me for once, but he pressed his thumbs to my mouth. “I will understand if you can’t forgive me right now, but I hope that someday you will because I…I…”

Say the words, I coaxed. Please.

Yes, he’d said some terrible hurtful things, and it would take me some time to get over them, but I still wanted him with me when I did.

It seemed he had other plans, because I felt like he was leaving me. Only this time, I wasn’t sure I wanted him to.

“I need some time to forgive myself for what I’ve put you through, because right now, I’m not good enough for you. Go back to Georgia, and when I’m ready, I’ll come to you, if you’re still waiting.”

He kissed me with wet, salty lips, and I wanted to yell at him, tell him he couldn’t do this, that we belonged together. But I understood so much more now, and I knew it wasn’t our time yet. He needed to heal, and forgive himself. I needed to heal, and forgive too. And if we were meant to be together at the end of it all, I had no doubt we would be.