Текст книги "The Line Between"

Автор книги: Tamsyn Bester

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Текущая страница: 17 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

CHAPTER THIRT Y-TWO

Kennedy

One Week Later

AFTER THAT ONE night at the hotel, Jade and I both decided that it was better to drown our sorrows in school work than it was to sit around and wallow. So that’s exactly what we did. Finals were only days away, and I worked my fingers to the bone every day so that come nightfall, I was too exhausted to do anything else. I’d made arrangements with my grandmother to spend the holidays in Georgia, and everything I did seemed to revolve around my leaving for an entire month. My departure couldn’t come fast enough.

Ashley arrived two days after classes started, and between the three of us she was the only one who wasn’t nursing a broken heart. Luckily we didn’t see much of her – she pretty much moved into the labs – or her constant state of happiness would have rubbed me the wrong way. It wasn’t her fault I was feeling out of sorts, but life was already making fun of me by shoving other couples in my face, I didn’t need it at home as well.

Grady wasn’t coming back to school again until the spring semester started, but I promised him I’d call him every week while I was away visiting my grandparents. Chase had texted me a few times but he was the last person I wanted to have a conversation with, and I hoped that my silence told him to give me time. Somewhere along the way he’d started to want more from me, and I couldn’t explain to him why it would never happen without going into detail about Dane and me. I just wasn’t ready for any of that yet, so I did what I knew best, and stuck my head in the sand so that I could focus on getting through the next few days with as little bruising as I could.

I was half way across the student parking lot when a familiar voice stopped me in my tracks.

“Well ain’t you a sight for sore eyes.”

That drawl.

I knew that drawl.

The last time I heard it, I was saying goodbye to the man who helped me piece myself together after Charlie’s death.

I spun around so fast my bag fell onto the asphalt, and found him leaning against his old red Chevy pick-up truck.

“Beau?”

“Hey darlin’.”

His face broke out into that panty-melting smile, and my body responded the only way it knew how with Beau.

I ran.

His arms opened for me, and I flung myself at him knowing he’d catch me.

“Nice to see you too,” he said, crushing me to his chest with a deep chuckle. He was more muscular than I remembered, a little taller too, and his brown hair was lighter due to hours working in the sun.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. My arms stayed locked behind his neck, just so that I knew he was really here.

“Grams sent me,” he replied.

He placed me on my feet, and I craned my neck to get a good look at him. He still had those boyish lines on his face, but he looked older, and maybe even a little sexier, more rugged.

“She didn’t tell me you were coming when I spoke to her two days ago,” I said, a little perplexed as to why my grandmother would send their only farmhand on a fifteen hour drive to come and see me.

“She didn’t want you to know.” Beau shrugged, and had the decency to look a little contrite.

“I didn’t realize you were one of her evil little helpers,” I giggled. My grandmother was known to meddle, and always had someone to help her.

He took off his cowboy hat, and brushed his fingers through his hair. “She was worried about you, sweetheart. So I offered to come check on you, and make sure you’re as okay as you’re pretending to be over the phone.”

I looked down, and nibbled on my lip. I shouldn’t have. It was ‘a tell’ of mine, and Beau had come to recognize it pretty early on in our friendship.

“That’s what I thought,” he sighed. “Is there somewhere we can go talk?”

“That depends,” I replied, looking up to meet his concerned gaze. “Are you going to repeat everything to Grams?”

“I’ll tell her what you want to me to and the rest will stay between us. You know that.”

That I did. He’d proven to me many times that I could trust him. He’d risked his job for me once, and after that I’d never questioned him.

I nodded, and went to retrieve my bag. “I know where we can go.”

We bought some coffee, and Beau drove us to my dorm. He parked his Chevy in the lot, and we hopped onto his tailgate. It wasn’t the most isolated place I could’ve taken him to, but it was quiet, and mostly empty, which was good enough.

“So you want to fill me in or am I going to have to wait it out?” He asked

“There’s not a whole lot I can tell you,” I replied, looking into my cup.

“Your Grams didn’t send me out here because you don’t have a lot to tell me, sweetheart. You know her better than that. C’mon now, this is me you’re talking to. What’s going on?”

His voice was so soothing, and had the ability to make me want to spill my guts until it littered the asphalt below our feet.

“There’s a guy,” I started. “But it’s pretty complicated. We have a history, and most of it has to do with our families.”

“You love him?”

Our eyes met, and they seemed so familiar, so safe, that being dishonest wasn’t an option. I took a deep breath before I answered, “I do.”

It was the first time I’d admitted it out loud, and it stirred the sadness, and sense of loss I’d spent the past week avoiding.

“Start from the beginning, and don’t leave anything out.”

We spent the next hour talking about Dane and me. I thought it would have been awkward to tell Beau all the dirty details, but he just sat there and listened while I split my heart open and bled all over the place. Most girls wouldn’t be talking to an ex-flame the way I was talking to him, especially when he was the one who I lost my virginity to, but it was effortless. Once upon a time I’d crushed on this handsome man, even if he was still boyish back then, and when I had sex for the first time I knew he was the right person to experience it with. It was the moment he put me back together, and I realized it was true what they said – a girl never forgets her first. What I loved most was that Beau had made sure I’d remember it for the right reasons.

When I was done, Beau wiped my cheeks, and kissed my forehead. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and hugged me to his side.

“Love is complicated,” he said. “But worth fighting for. You can’t allow the stupid shit between your families to get in the way if he’s what you really want.”

“I know, but there’s more to it than that. He doesn’t know everything about Charlie, and Jewel, and I’m afraid that once he finds out he’ll want nothing to do with me.”

“You have to ask yourself if he’s worth the risk. If he walks away after knowing everything, then you know it wasn’t meant to be.”

I sat up straight, taking every bit of his advice to heart, and smiled at him. “You’ve met someone.”

His returning smile was shy, and he ducked his head. “What makes you say that?”

With a smirk, I replied, “The Beau I knew didn’t know a thing about love.”

“Of course he did,” he contended. “I might have been young when we met, but I loved you. I always will, but – ”

“It’s not the same,” I finished for him.

“A guy never forgets his first though.” He winked, and I gave him a playful shove.

“I was not your first, Beau.”

“No,” he sighed, “But you were the first girl that meant something to me, and I’ll always cherish that.”

My heart constricted, but it didn’t hurt. I’d let Beau go when I moved back to Brighton, and we both knew that we weren’t forever. But we were for ‘right now’ and that was all our young hearts needed at the time.

“What’s her name?” I asked.

He gave me a goofy grin. “Her name is Sarah. She works at the preschool in Madison, and she stops by on a weekly basis to buy some of your Grams’ pies.”

“You in love with her?”

I wanted to know if he was happy. I wasn’t jealous in the slightest because I had already found my great love, despite having lost it. I wanted Beau to find someone who made him feel alive, someone he could share his life with, start a family with. He deserved that.

“I am. I’m going to propose to her over Christmas, actually.”

“Oh my God, Beau! That’s amazing! I can’t wait to meet her.”

“You’ll love her,” he laughed. “She’s just as excited to meet you.”

My smile faltered slightly. “She doesn’t know we…”

“No.” He shook his head. “Not only would that be really awkward, but it felt wrong sharing that with her. That memory is yours and mine, and I’d like to keep it that way. Besides,” he snickered, “I don’t want you telling her I’m a lousy lay, and risk her saying no when I ask her to marry me.”

I threw my head back, and laughed. “I would never.”

Just then, I spotted Dane’s truck driving into the lot and I froze.

Beau noticed, and he sat up, watching as Dane’s truck stopped a few spots away from us. “What’s wrong?” He sounded weary.

“That’s him,” I said quietly. “I haven’t spoken to him all week. I think we’ve been trying to avoid each other like a plague.”

“He gonna make trouble?”

“No. I don’t think so.”

Dane climbed out of his truck, and his blue eyes found mine as he’d sought them out. His face was a mask of coolness, and calm, but his eyes told me what I needed to know, like they always had. The air crackled but instead of feeling the sexual tension I’d become accustomed to, it was filled with an ache caused by self-inflicted wounds, and repentance for a decision neither of us could really take back. He inhaled deeply, spearing me with one final look, and then stalked away.

“He didn’t look too pleased to see me here,” murmured Beau. “Isn’t he going to think something’s going on?”

I tried for a careless shrug, but I knew that Dane misinterpreting what he saw between me and Beau was a real possibility.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m sure he’s moved on by now anyway.”

And that possibility was like taking a bullet to the chest.

AFTER I’D SAID my goodbyes to Beau, and he’d reassured me he was staying the night in a motel before driving back to Georgia, I headed inside. I opened the door, and it looked like I’d landed in hell.

Jade and Reid were having a screaming match, and judging by the sound of Jade’s voice she was winning. They were so wrapped up in their argument they hadn’t heard me come in.

“You’re an asshole, Reid Cole,” she shrieked angrily.

“Jesus, Jade, will you please just hear me out?” Reid looked exasperated. “I don’t understand why you’re so damn upset. You were the one who said you couldn’t do commitment!”

I cleared my throat, and they both looked at me in surprise.

“I didn’t meant to interrupt,” I said carefully. “I can leave… ”

“Don’t bother,” snapped Jade. “Reid was just on his way out.”

Reid exhaled, and hung his head. “So that’s it, then? We’re throwing away twenty years of friendship because of one night?”

“NO!” Screamed Jade, causing both me and Reid to flinch. “YOU threw it away when you had sex with me, and then decided to screw someone else as soon as we landed. This is all on you. Now get the fuck out!” Reid stared at Jade as if he didn’t know her.

“NOW!”

Jade’s shriek sent him into motion, and he stormed past me, shutting the door with a slam!

Jade collapsed onto the floor, and I rushed to her side.

“Ssshhh….” I rubbed her hair, and felt her body shaking. “It’s going to be okay.”

Ashley chose that exact moment to come in. She was beaming, and seemed completely oblivious to Jade’s emotional state.

“You’re never going to believe who just asked me out on a date,” she crooned, twirling around us. Seriously? Could she not see we were in the middle of an emotional crisis here? How had I not realized she was so self-absorbed?

She answered her own statement, and the single word that came out of her mouth shattered me. Completely annihilated me.

“Dane.”

I sat frozen, unblinking, and Jade’s head shot up.

“What?” She snapped.

Ashley rolled her eyes. “Weren’t you listening? I just said Dane asked me out on a date.”

“When?” Asked Jade. My mouth was too dry; otherwise I would have asked the question myself.

“Like, five minutes ago.”

Jade looked at me, and I had nothing to say.

Maybe he’d moved on, or maybe he’d seen me with Beau and jumped to conclusions.

Either way I didn’t want to care anymore.

I couldn’t.

Because caring only got me hurt, and I was done with that.

CHAPTER THI RTY-THREE

Dane

REID HAD FOUND me in the gym earlier pounding away at bag full of sand as if I was fighting for my life. For the last week it felt like I had been.

“You’re going to pull a muscle if you keep punching that thing so hard,” he’d grumbled. I’d politely told him to fuck off, and leave me alone.

Now it was Reid who looked like he needed to punch something. He stormed into our apartment, a mask of fury on his face, and slammed the front door hard enough to shake the walls. I had no idea what his problem was, and I wasn’t about to ask. He’d been testy ever since he’d come back from his trip with Jade. But then again, so had I.

I sipped my beer, and watched him walk around like a caged tiger. I would have told him to chill the fuck out and have a beer if I wasn’t worried he’d have my balls, for opening my mouth.

My phone rang, and when I saw my mother’s name flashing on the screen I decided not to answer it. I wasn’t in the mood for conversation. My phone stopped ringing, and when it started up again less than a second later, I frowned. My mother never called incessantly unless there was a problem.

I slid my finger across the screen, and held my phone to my ear. “Hello?”

“Hi, sweetheart. Is this a bad time?” My mother sounded nervous, and I detected an undertone of anxiety in her voice. That was never good.

“No mom, it’s fine. Is everything okay?”

Reid grabbed a beer from the fridge, and joined me on the sofa, staring daggers at the wall. What was his deal?

“Everything’s fine,” my mother replied. “I just…there’s just something…” she stuttered. My mother never stuttered. I sat forward, and my mind started racing with everything that could be wrong.

“Mom, what’s wrong?”

I heard her exhale on the other end of the line, and waited for her to speak.

“I needed to warn you,” she started. “Your father’s court case with Anthony Monroe regarding the land dispute and oil drilling has turned quite nasty. Your father is making it personal, and the media are out for blood. I wanted you to know in case they decide to start bothering you for information.”

I screwed my eyes shut, and groaned. “You’re not serious, mom? Has dad lost his fucking mind?”

“Language,” my mother berated. “And I don’t know what your father is thinking. It can go either way, like most things like this tend to do when the media get involved. I wanted you to be aware of what was going on, before you saw it splashed on the news.”

I shouldn’t have been surprised at this turn of events. Not really. My father had a habit of twisting things to his advantage, and he relished any opportunity to drag Anthony Monroe’s name through the mud.

I wondered if Kennedy knew anything about it, but then realized I’d decided not to care about her anymore. I was still harboring some anger after I’d spotted her in the parking lot sitting on the tailgate of some guys’ truck. They looked friendly, and the way he’d had his arm around her suggested that they were more than friends.

I guess I’d never meant that much to her after all, if it only took her a fucking week to move on. It hurt like hell to see her with someone else, especially after the way I’d been feeling sorry for myself this week. But that was over now.

“Dane?” My mother’s voice interrupted my thoughts, and I shook my head.

“Sorry mom, I’m here.”

“You’ll let me know if anything happens, won’t you?”

I placed my empty beer bottle on our coffee table, and sat back. “Yeah, mom, I will. Don’t worry.”

“Okay, sweetheart. I have to go now, but call me if you need anything.”

“I will,” I promised. “Talk to you soon.”

I threw my phone back on the table and held my head in my hands. I was exhausted. I’d been doing everything I possibly could this week to keep from going back to Kennedy, and I’d been holding on to the tiniest sliver of hope that she was struggling like I was.

Guess not.

“What has daddy dearest done this time?” Asked Reid.

“I don’t really know, but it has something to do with Anthony Monroe. My mom wanted to give me a heads up in case we saw it on the news.”

“I wish your dad would give that shit a rest man. Do you think Kennedy knows?”

I stiffened. I didn’t want to care whether or not she knew, but I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if something happened to her as a result of the feud between our fathers. She was as much an innocent in all of it as I was.

“I’m not sure, but I should probably go talk to her.” I stood up from the sofa without giving myself a chance to back out, and promptly ignored the puzzled look on Reid’s face. I was angry, frustrated, and tired, and yet I was still looking for an excuse to see the girl who kept me up at night, and messed with my head the way no one else had.

I opened the door just as Kennedy’s friend Ashley walked past, and was hit with an idea. I was about to immortalize my name in the Douchebag Hall of Fame.

“Hey,” I said.

Ashley startled, and then smiled at me. She was a stunner, with her long legs, olive colored skin, and long brown hair. Being a model ensured she wasn’t hard up for male attention, and her intelligence certainly didn’t hurt either. But she wasn’t my type. I’d developed a taste for something more particular. More singular.

Blonde hair with purple tips.

Green eyes.

A body that made you want to sin.

“Hey Dane,” she giggled nervously.

I doubted my plan for a split second, and then I thought fuck it.

“You got plans tonight?” I asked.

Her eyes widened, and she stood a little taller. “No?”

Despite not feeling it, or feeling her, my mouth turned up into the grin that I knew got the girls. “You do now. Have dinner with me. We can get to know each other better.”

“Okay,” she replied without hesitating. “What time should I be ready?”

“I’ll fetch you at say, seven?”

“Perfect.”

She walked away, and I’d forgotten about my plan to speak to Kennedy. This plan sounded a whole lot better.

I think.

FORTY-FIVE MINUTES into dinner, I realized that I’d made a mistake. Sure, Ashley was a beautiful girl, and it was obvious she was extremely intelligent, but we had absolutely nothing in common. I asked myself through every awkward silence – and there were many – why I was subjecting either of us to this special kind of sadism, and the answer was always the same.

It wasn’t the date itself, but rather what happened afterwards. If my timing were on point, it would be worth the pre-torture. I did the gentlemanly thing and paid for our food, and then drove Ashley back to our dorms. It was barely nine thirty when we stopped outside mine and Reid’s apartment door.

“So…” Ashley rocked back and forth on her heels.

I rubbed the back of my neck.

“I had a nice time,” she said quickly. It was an ineffective attempt at diffusing the uncomfortable atmosphere, but I applauded her valiant effort.

“Uh, yeah, I did too.”

We stared at each other for a beat, and then I heard keys jingling. I looked up and saw Kennedy walking down the hallway towards her door.

Perfect timing.

She looked up.

That was my cue.

I wrapped my arm around Ashley’s waist, and tugged her to me, sealing my mouth over hers. I kissed her with extra enthusiasm, which she seemed to return, while never taking my eyes off Kennedy. She watched me devour her friends lips, listened to her moan while my tongue traced the contours of her mouth.

That was what I’d been betting on. The hurt and duplicity colliding in her eyes.

Now she knew how I felt when I saw her with another guy only days after I’d had her. I saw her withdraw into herself, and when she slammed their apartment door closed, I pulled away from Ashley and walked into mine and Reid’s’ apartment.

Pressing my back against the door, I sighed, and let my head fall back. “Shit,” I muttered.

My stomach sank, and regret coursed its way through my veins. That was a mistake.

And I needed to drink because I was an asshole.

Let’s have a toast to the douchebags, let’s have a toast to the assholes, I sang in my head. Kanye West sure knew what he was talking about.

I stepped towards the fridge when I heard a moan. My feet stopped, and my ears perked.

I heard it again.

It was coming from Reid’s’ room.

And the fucker had left his door open.

After a third moan echoed through the apartment I walked over to his door, intent on closing it, when I saw what was going on. Reid was on his back, with a girl riding him, her long midnight black hair cascading down her bare back.

Reid lifted his head, and spotted me at the door. Wrong timing, and I was sure he thought I was taking a peek. “Dane! What the fuck man!” He bellowed. The girls’ head turned and my jaw dropped.

“Jade???”

“Dane, get the fuck out!”

I quickly shut the door, standing open-mouthed. There was a commotion on the other side and I stepped aside just in time to remove myself from Jade’s path. She was half dressed, completely flustered and…angry?

“Have you ever heard of knocking?” She snapped, flying past me while trying to put her shoes on. I was still speechless.

“I…I…” I sputtered. “The door was open!”

“So you thought you’d watch like some kind of pervert?”

Reid barreled past me, heading straight for Jade. “Wait, you can’t leave. We still have to talk!”

“Ha!” Laughed Jade. “I’m not talking while he is here,” she glared hatefully, “I’m going back next door.”

“Me?” I asked incredulously. “Why are you upset with me? You’re the one caught screwing my best friend!”

“Kind of ironic, don’t you think?” She bit back. Her words took a minute to sink, but when they did, I realized why she was angry with me, and it had nothing to do with what I’d just walked in on.

“She told you,” I said under my breath. Unfortunately Jade still heard me.

“Yes, she did, and you know what, Dane? You don’t deserve her. You never did.”

Jade turned to leave, but I stopped her with a hand on her arm.

“That’s rich,” I sneered, allowing my anger from earlier to make an appearance. “She’s already moved on.”

Jade’s brows dipped into a frown, and she shook my hand off her arm. “What makes you think that?”

“I saw her, this afternoon. She was already with some other guy. She looked real broken up about us when he had his arms around her.” My voice dripped with sarcasm.

Jade reared back, and looked at me like I’d lost my mind. I was starting to feel like I had.

“Will one of you care to tell me what the fuck is going on?” Reid interjected.

We both ignored him, and then Jade spoke. “The guy you saw her with is a very good friend of hers, who drove all the way here from Madison, Georgia, to check up on her because her grandparents are worried about her. She’s a fucking mess because of you, and you just had to make it a whole lot worse by asking our roommate on a date. You know, I would have rooted for you, but you royally fucked up the best thing that could have happened to you.”

Jade turned her head towards Reid. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? I have some things to work out.”

Then she left, leaving both Reid and I dumbfounded.

Reid rubbed his hand down his face, and dressed in only a pair of his boxer briefs he really looked ridiculous.

“Fuck,” he muttered. “That was…”

“Yeah,” I sighed.

“You want to tell me what the fuck just happened?”

I looked at my best friend, and decided it was time for a chat. I needed to get some of this shit off my chest before it completely consumed me. I’d fucked up, and anyone could tell me how to fix it, it was Reid.

“Grab a beer,” I said, turning towards the living room. “It’s going to be a long night.”